"Chicago Program" via ACM in Google Reader

Hello Dears,

Looking forward, I promise to fill this seemingly

2012-05-22T03:04:00Z

Hello Dears,

Looking forward, I promise to fill this seemingly boring summer with plenty of juicy and interesting material for you all. Due to financial reasons and other lovely circumstances (note the sarcasm) I will be spending the next 10 weeks with my mother at her house. Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad, I mean free rent, most of my food is payed for, but I often wonder if the stress level is worth it. As you may already know, my mom and I are a bipolar power team to say the least. We are very alike, and just don't get along all that well WHEN LIVING TOGETHER. We have realized that we get along much better as mother and daughter when not living together, although there are still ups and downs. However, she is spending about half of each week at her boyfriends, (where she and my brothers are moving at the end of summer) and I think that will give us enough separate time for us to survive the summer without strangling each other. My brothers are another story entirely...

So yes, that means my ACM semester in Chicago is behind me, sadly! :( But never the less Chicago is continually in my future thanks to the experience ACM provided me. It has been an amazing whirlwind that ended all to soon. You gain so much more than you can ever expect on the Chicago Program. Of course there were ups and downs, as with anything in life, but the programs ups definitely outweighed the downs this past semester.

So I saved the most exciting update for last, I got the job I wanted today! Of course I am still working at my true love, the Gap (yes I'm back at Hawthorn! I never transfered more like had a 3 month leave lol). However that's very part time, so I needed another job ASAP. I have never worked a job I didn't love and enjoy, and I've come to live by that with whatever job I do. If you don't like it, you won't be performing at your best. So I went in search of a job that I would enjoy, and I had to eliminate retail because I can't work at a competing clothing store to Gap. I set my eyes on Foss Swim School, recommended to me by one of my dear friends who used to work there. I'll be teaching kids how to swim in a fun and energetic environment. I am so excited that I get to work with kids (cause I love kids, hello, I don't just work at Gap, I work at Kids and BabyGap) and I get to be in the water all summer! Yay swimming! I am so so so so so excited!

Peace.

Talley up the Score

2012-05-16T18:42:00Z

As most of you know, I have been living in the windy city since February. And you may also know, I have not had the opportunity to write since about mid-February. So, I am going to take the time since its FINALLY summer to update you on what's been happening here. Ready? Here it goes..

FEBRUARY

I began my 4 month stint as an intern at Lyon Communications. Despite leaving the first day in tears, well lets just say it could have been worse and we'll leave it at that. SCORE: Maddie-0 Chicago-1

We continued to battle the cold and I learned just how much it sucked to not have my car. My legs and waistline on the other hand are severely reaping the benefits of walking 3+ miles each day on top of whatever I do at the gym. And speaking of the gym, I have thoroughly enjoyed my time at Xport fitness. I love working out there! Everyday I feel like I am on the same level as everyone else there. Everyone is a little tired, everyone really just wants to go home, but we all come there and kick ass. Excuse me, Janice, boufay. I made a joke the other day that the first time I actually would feel confident in a swim suit is the summer I decided to end my career as a lifeguard and start wearing clothes to work. Oh well, ce la vie.
SCORE: Maddie- 2 (1 for each leg) Chicago- 1

MARCH

Chicago saw one week of 80 degree weather at the beginning of the month and everyone thought it was here to stay. So naturally I had my dad bring all of my spring clothes and I shipped all my sweaters, long sleeves and coats home. It should come to no surprise to anyone that it turned cold almost as soon as my dad drove away. So I used my skilled fashion sense to turn all my summer/spring clothes into a brightly colored winter wardrobe.
Score: Maddie- 3 Chicago-2 (we'll call that one a tie)

This month we celebrated St. Patrick's Day. It wasn't until I moved to Chicago that I learned what a huge deal St. Patty's Day, as it is so affectionately called, is. I had the privilege, if that's what you want to call it, to experience such a show as St. Patty's Day. Lets just say that was the most difficult time I had being only 20 when I intermixed with the sea of green drunks swarming the streets of Chicago. I have never seen anything like it. Score: Maddie-3 Chicago- 3 (well done, Chicago)

As many of you know, March also happened to be my birthday. And not only was it my birthday, it was my 21st. My lovely sister came in from Florida to help celebrate this blessed occasion. Let me just recap Wednesday's events. Keep in mind this is the night before my birthday, 21 at midnight...

6:45 PM- Pick Erin up from the Airport and make plans for the evening

7:30 PM- Erin, Christina and I hit up Dunley's on the Square for $5 burger night.

This is where the night officially starts. We were served Sangria as a treat

for my birthday.

8:30-9:00 PM- Decide we're going to go out at midnight for my birthday in Wicker Park.

We'll have 1 drink since I had school the next morning and pregame a little

before the bars.

9:30 PM- Erin's friends Bill and Dee come join us to go to the bars. Christina and I split a bottle

of Dragon Fruit (what ever the hell that is) Bacardi. No, we didn't drink the whole thing!

There is at least 1/4 of the bottle left. (Now's the part where you say "Oh dear")

10:30 PM- We (Me, Erin, Christina, Bill, Dee and Evin) decide to see if we can get into

the bars a little early. With no luck we decide to take the train to Wicker Park.

11:30 PM- Decide to try our luck at one bar and get turned down. We walk across the street and

get right in.

11:45 PM- A round of Long Islands (strong enough to knock a 7 footer down) for everyone!

11: 55 PM- Walk to the next bar. The bar tender lets us in but says I can't order a drink

for 5 minutes. Let the countdown begin. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.. BIRTHDAY CAKE SHOT!

And yes I did receive a balloon that unfortunately came undone and still sits at the

ceiling of this bar, or so I like to think. Here I also ordered my first drink, a

Cosmopolitan in honor of my hero and fashion role model, Carrie Bradshaw.

12:10 PM- Walk to the next bar. On the way there I called Julie to tell her about the

adventures I had but her voice mail didn't work. In this next nearly empty bar, we ordered

another Cosmo. Here is where we found a jukebox. As a present to me, my

wonderful roommates bought my favorite song, Miss American Pie. Well, this

dude at the bar proclaimed that he hated this song and that these next 5 minutes was going to be hell.

I of course corrected him and told him the song was in fact 8 minutes and 32 seconds and

it was my birthday so he better be quiet. Throughout the entire song he made faces and comments

so naturally I made several specific hand gestures and faces behind his back, while doing

my very best singing and interpretive dancing to my very favorite song.

12:40 PM- Time to go home. We get into a cab where I insist on sitting up front with the driver.

I asked him what his name was and he told me it was Ali. Now, I don't know if any

of you know this about me, but I love Disney and pride myself on knowing all the songs.

So what did I do? Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababoua. And to my surprise, he didn't know

the song. I told him all about it of course and we both had a good laugh, or at least

that's how I remember it.

12:50 PM- Home. Lets just say there was a flip onto the couch, a face plant, a face on the dirty

toilet seat, and leave it at that.

Morning

Extremely hungover. Swore off alcohol forever. Lets just say I won't be going to

Groupon any time soon. End of story.

After spending the next 3 days drinking and celebrating, I still can barely walk by the liquor

store without feeling nauseous. Moral of the story, well there is no moral to the story really,

except you only turn 21 once so be sure to want to swear off alcohol by the end of it.

Oh, and I couldn't finish the story of my birthday without mentioning that my awesome friends, Abby and Julia, came to help their little DD celebrate. We had an awesome day at Navy Pier and were wasted away in Margaritaville. I only was injured once on this trip when I hit my head on the ceiling of the bus for being too tall. Woops.

Score: Maddie: 7 (four points for surviving a birthday week) Chicago: 4 (1 for surviving my birthday week) and Groupon: -1 for locking their bathrooms.

APRIL

This entire month was dedicated to projects. Pretty boring here really.

So that about wraps it up. That's what has been going on here for the past few months. As you can tell by the final score, I have conquered the city. I survived 4 months of living here on my own with the help of 3 great roommates. Three months to go... wish me luck as I take the windy city.

Good Morning Dears!

So remember way back here when I promised

2012-05-13T17:06:00Z

Good Morning Dears!

So remember way back here when I promised to tell you about my new favorite artist? Well of course you don't which is why I put the link there! His name is Dylan Scholinski, and his work is all about mental health and emotions and depression and feelings. There is also some GLBTQA influence since he is Transgender. The work he does is so powerful its unreal. Here is his website/blog. It has not been updated since around Christmas, and I am on a mission to figure out why! But there's some cool stuff on there like his artwork and his book that he wrote that is for sale. Oh and here's two videos about him and can explain better why he is so fucking awesome and such a strong person in addition to an amazing artist. Peace.

Oh! And I also spent a relaxing afternoon yesterday walking

2012-05-12T00:13:00Z

Oh! And I also spent a relaxing afternoon yesterday walking through the beautiful Lincoln Park Zoo! It is by far one of my favorite places in the world, even when I am not living in Chicago. But I had not been in so long, and I had nothing better to do on Thursday afternoon so off to see my favorite animals I went! Plus the gorgeous gardens and parks that surround the zoo. Here is a picture of one of my favorite animals, the Polar Bear! :) Peace.

Chi-town

2012-05-12T00:06:00Z

So due to mostly foreseen circumstances, :P I have not really discussed any of my Chi-town adventures in a great while. There's been so many it's so hard to choose. the ones I've posted about here on the blog are really only a small selection of the things I have done this semester. ACM keeps us busy. From screen printing workshops, to toxic tours of little village, to a talk by Sam Hsieh the world famous performance artist, and best yet adventures wandering around Rogers Park. So many fun things and so much art!

I'll have some more pictures up soon, but I don't have to many sadly. We get so caught up in it all that You forget to stop and snap a shot along the way. :(

If you all are ever in Rogers Park, got to the HeartLand Cafe. It is so good! Reasonably priced and just simply amazing food. The menu is not really extensive, but its all fresh and numerous vegetarian options. And REAL sweet potato fries! so yummy.

So this is a pretty random post but I just wanted to update you all on my life adventures. Tomorrow I get to go see a bunch of my friends graduate (LFC Class of 2012) so sad! but a celebration none the less.

On Sunday I get to see To Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind, one of my favorite things ever. It's this amazing performance show that is one of the longest running shows in Chi. It's put on by this amazing group called the neo-futurists. The show rotates in new skits every week so its constantly changing. If you are ever in Chicago this is a must see, especially since they have a Sunday night show at 7, a great way to end a weekend when there is nothing else to do on Sunday nights.

Peace.

Let the Wild Rumpus Start!

2012-05-08T16:58:00Z

Tomorrow is my last day of work at the archives for the rest of my life, and I will miss it a lot! I just will miss thumbing through all of the old documents, and putting together a "complete" history of Ripon College in my head. Funny that I made it this far working here, especially since I felt like I would likely be fired about a million times. Well, good riddance Pearl Dopp and Spencer Tracy! I will have to catch you later.

Now, starting tomorrow the crazy senior week festivities begin, and I don't have any money. But, what's new? Wish me luck that I don't drown while trying to drink cheap, Wisconsin beer. Also, let's hope for only fun times ahead until my parents arrive on Friday.

Here's a link to listen (in entirety) to Best Coast's new album:

http://www.npr.org/2012/05/06/151778646/first-listen-best-coast-the-only-place?sc=tw&cc=twmp

If you don't know who they are, think surfy, tape hiss-y music combined with the adorableness of Belle and Sebastian. Love it.

Have a good week, y'all! :)

xoxo

berts

So, about three posts in one day...

2012-05-04T18:22:00Z

Okay. I have to get back into this blog thing. It's kind of hard, especially when you fall off the bandwagon - but I think that it's necessary to start putting things I like to read, life stories, and fun things all in one place again.

Life recently in the Rip-rap has been excellent. I have been enjoying long car rides with Emily Kijek, Sophia, Alex and Sara Norden recently, and the weather has been crazy (proved for some awesome car viewing)! I heard the loudest thunder storms that I have EVER heard the night before last and since then it's been a humid mess. Anytime it's humid like this, I can't help but think of the episode of Friends where all of them go to Barbados, and Monica's hair looks like the messiest shit ever. Let's hope it takes the summer for my hair to get that long. haha.

I graduate in a week and a few days, and boy does that feel crazy! I have one exam coming between me and the end of my senior year in college. For now, I am moving back to Washington where I will go back to working at the daycare for a bit while I save money and perhaps figure out what the next step is. I have three options, stay at the daycare and move back to Metropolitan Seattle (instead of suburbia Bellevue, YUCK), go back to school in Olympia or in Portland, OR move back to the Midwest.

I know that eventually I will have to come back to the Midwest, because I don't think I can live anywhere else in the world more permanently than Wisconsin, but for the mean time I am going to spend a while in Washington trying to create a new life.

Here's to new adventures and happy times ahead!
Roberta

Stanley Kubrick's Images of the New York Subway (1946)

2012-05-04T17:31:00Z

damn!

2012-05-04T17:28:00Z

Guess What I Did?

2012-05-04T00:31:00Z

I changed my hair! Yay! After letting it grow out almost all school year, I desperately needed a change. I have had it trimmed a few times, and once shaped into something cute because it was not growing evenly, and dyed it many times to give myself the feeling of change. I wanted it to be a bit longer, but I said to heck with it and decided to do the edgy cut I've been wanting to do for a long time. :) So here it is. It's only day 1 but I am liking it so far.

Oh and by the way, I did it myself so it feels even more satisfying that it came out nicely! So glad for the change!

I am drowning.

2012-04-27T05:03:00Z

Stress is not helping me I swear. This is a rant and it's a little long, but I'd love if you'd all listen. I've been wanting to make a video blog post for a while, and this is NOT how I wanted my first one to be but it just kind of happened. Two notes. First, I think I mention something about 3 jobs, that is my usual 2-3 jobs plus school. This semester (in Chicago) I am only working one kind of, but its still just as stressful because I also have an internship. People think I have a break this semester, and that's not the case and this shit (in video) still haunts me. Plus its back to working full time overtime in a few weeks when summer starts. no break. Second note, I don't have the best relations with my mom either, so its not just the men in my life for all you stereotyping freaks. Peace!

Two things you are not going to like

2012-04-21T07:06:00Z

I feel the need to write. But I don't know what about. There's no trigger. There's no issue. No problem or exciting event. No Happy occasion or emotional rampage. but I just want to write. Hmph. I've been thinking a lot about well, everything. Lately, although I have felt like I haven't even had a moment to think, I have actually been thinking. I guess I just didn't notice it til now. It's just like how life catches up to you. It's to late (its like 1am) for my brain to coherently talk about anything serious, but alas I think I am going to attempt this anyways. Religion and Sexuality. OK bad start, but that's what's on my mind. First of all, I was raised Jewish by my mother, mind you she's a liberal "dead head" and for a long time was the only one in her family who was not very religious. my dad's family is some very relaxed form of christian where Easter simply means food and I don't know the last time any of them have been to church. Culturally I Identify as Jewish, cause it's really a Jew thing. However, religiously, I identify with neither. I'm going to try to make this short as my eyes are not happy with me, but honestly I don't identify with any religion. However this does not mean that I am not a spiritually connected person. There was a time when I questioned a lot of things, and I came to the conclusion that I do believe in god in some form, and that god loves everyone. Now here's the rebuttal most people would give me: But your gay, you can't believe in god. But your gay, you can't be religious. But your gay, god doesn't love you. Let's get one things straight: I am not gay. I am not male first of all. I'll admit, if you extend the definition, I am part of the gay community, but I prefer to call it the GLBTQA community. and in a previous post I will quote myself in saying "I am some form of the word gay". Again in a broad sense. but back to the point... ...the point is two things. One, that gays and anyone in the GLBTQA community can be religious and/or spiritually connected. people prove that everyday and to try and deny them that right is not what the god I know would want of people. My second point is to talk about my sexuality. I had to fill out a survey today and the options for sexual orientation were: Straight/Heterosexual, Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, or Other _________. It was the first time I chose other and I filled in the blank with Queer. This may have been due to other things in the past not giving me this option, so I either chose bisexual or sometimes lesbian. Or it could be my continual questioning of my sexual orientation. The problem is I fall somewhere in between. I definitely identify more with the lesbian community, I can relate to them, because mostly I like girls, and I know this for a fact, but its not exclusively that way. The term I most relate with is pansexual, but it's often times just to hard to explain, and I am comfortable with queer. I am attracted to who I am attracted to, no matter there gender identity...Love is Love. This brings me back to god. god loves everyone and all humans deserve love, but I understand that in this world most don't receive it. I don't know where I am going with this really other than I should not have to choose one category of loving. love is love. Goodnight and Peace.

Hide and Seek

2012-04-19T03:55:00Z

You Blog readers get a sneak peak at a poem I am turning in tomorrow. I've been meaning to post some poetry on here, since I like writing poetry, and even though this is an assignment, I am glad I wrote it and I think it turned out pretty cool. If you didn't get it already, it's called Hide and Seek. Peace.

Oooone, twooooo, threeeeeee, fooooouuuuur,…
…Ninety nine, one hundred! Ready or not here I come!
Run run run run run,
In my room, in my apartment,
Have to find my keys,
shake my bag to hear it jingle
Why does it smell like pancakes
Who is taking a shower
Making the bathroom all steamy
Why is it so cold in here
I hate the stupid wind pressing against the windows so noisy
On the street, on the subway
Don’t look at me like that
Of course you can’t hear them we are underground
So stop yelling louder at your cell phone
The train is taking forever, why aren’t we moving
God they are walking so slow
It smells like shit down here today
Or maybe it smells like weed
Ok just ignore them
Music tunes out everything
I’ll just go past them
In the buses, in the cars,
Ooh I like that song
Who is blasting their headphones
Honking is not going to get you anywhere
That polite smile as I let the elderly woman take my seat
Why are you driving anyways
Crap only 7 seconds on walk
Still 30 feet away from the cross
Smells like beer
Newspaper are so soft
Really, you think by now I know that eating drinking and gambling
ARE PROHIBITED ON ALL CTA VEHICLES
On bikes, on skateboards,
The sidewalk is for everyone
Stop trying to pass the bus like you are faster
I love the sound an unpedaled chain makes
Click scroll click scroll click scroll
In the grocery store, in the liquor store,
Loose changes clanking
Quarters in shopping carts
A maze of awkward people who don’t know how to be social
Looks and glances, sighs and screeeeeee
Thanks for taking so much effort to move your cart sideways
Where it should have been all along
Unlike in the middle of the isle where it was.
Take a basket for easy shopping!
I’m only getting like two things
Remember I can’t go inside I’ll just wait for you
I miss the bells
You know the ones in small town stores when someone walks in or out?
Eeew someone broke a carton of eggs
Target always smells so fresh
In the office buildings, in the coffee shop,
Hold the door, but with just a look
Go ahead, no you, no you, alright
Buzz whiiiiiiirrrrr.
Sssssshhhhhhhhh
A doorman that say welcome, how odd
Someone you can talk too
It smells sweet
Just stay in your space, no exploring here
Why is it so crowded, this isn’t starbucks?
The noise level variations can be polar opposites
Ok maybe not in the art galleries
But in the parks, on the boulevards,
Not strolling, power walking,
Don’t stop and smell the roses
Because you can’t smell them anyways
Wait this path is curved?
I’m going to get so lost
Birds exist?
Stupid pigeons always slowing me down
Everyone always rushing
Even after they get to their destinations
No moments here
Always living for the next
Silence is awkward, yet welcome
And why do we all love it so much
To play this game of hide and seek
Oooone, twooooo, threeeeeee, fooooouuuuur,…
…Ninety nine, one hundred! Ready or not here I come!
Run run run run run
And I start all over again
In this place that is 100 times faster than anywhere else

Ethics

2012-04-17T03:33:00Z

Ok, I am really questioning whether to be more vague and general about this, as to not make anyone mad, or to be a bit more specific.

I seem to deal with the issue of ethics on an almost weekly basis. Think about it, I'm a psych major, I have psych problems so I've been in the system, I am a GLBTQ leader at my school, I am a trained ally at my school, I'm the president of our Active Minds chapter. If you get yourself involved in this world of helping others or being a leader, you become a go to person, and there lies problems.

So what do I do when someone comes to me? Having gone to an alternative high school, you would think I'd be so used to other people having problems or concerns, but back then, if a friend would call in need, I would comfort them as a friend, but my advice mostly consisted of "well when we go to school tomorrow you can talk to your therapist". Well those therapists and that everyday environment are not there anymore. I am really not as good at giving advice and helping deal with stuff as I thought I was.

I also don't know where to draw the line. From every training and book or anything I've ever received, I know what I should do. Obviously if the situation is life threatening, I would do exactly what others did for me, and seek outside help.

However, what about when it's not that bad, those middle of the road concerns, and I've judged the situation as acceptable whether or not I like it. I've realized in these instances, I treat my close friends different than I would treat an acquaintance confiding in me. Is it helping them to say "I know them, nothing will go wrong" and not push the issue like I would with someone I'm not close with?

I think I have to come to realize that I am a friend first, no matter who it is. Unless the situation has been made clear to me in which I am supposed to be playing another role (more like a peer counselor or something) it's not my job to judge the situation from that point of view.

I just have a fear of regretting not taking action at a time when I could of, even though it wouldn't be my fault. Got to remember, no regrets. I'd love to hear what anyone else thinks? Peace.

Sunday=Blog Day? How did this happen?

2012-04-15T16:03:00Z

So I realized I've become boring, or at least the way I do my blog posts have. I gues I've been so busy this city keeps your mind going going going and then all the sudden bam! It's Sunday, and all of the things I didn't think about or do during the past week creep up on you, and so hence, this is usually the first second I get time to remember I even have a blog.

I blog whens its needed for me, and sometimes it's not as needed. I could still be going through a lot of stuff, especially emotional stuff, but I just didn't use blogging as an outlet.

I think I am also overly concerned about my blog, and I realize I have way to many posts (including this one) about posting on my blog, not posting, apologizing dfor ebing 3 weeks absent, ect. so here is my oath: I Sam, will no longer blog for more than one sentence ever again about how often or when I blog.

Okay, now on to the good stuff:

So this past week I have felt like a whirlwind in the ocean, constantly drowning but never getting anywhere, always staying in that middle zone. So much work was collapsed on top of me, that I kept getting behind or at least feeling like I was getting behind. I even just skipped a paper assignment because I was just so exhausted and didn't have the time.

But somehow that usual anxiety I get has not set in to much. usually I get such horrible feelings about large amount of work that I have to get done that I just avoid doing them. Maybe its because I've been taking my meds better, or idk even know, but seeing as I spent 7 hours yesterday taking photographs all over Chicago and didn't even get halfway done (I was expecting to get most of it done), I was expecting to feel different this morning. I am going to go with the good feelings, but whenever somethings different I have to question it.

I know I will get caught up at some point, so I'll just keep trudging along until then. For those who might read this and be future Chicago Program Students, don't let the beginning of the semester fool you! Much of the work on this program is non traditional, and it's a pretty slow start in the beginning, but honestly in the middle and end of the semesters you are doing more work than you could ever imagine. On the other hand it's completely worth it because you are doing work that you love. When I go to bed exhausted ever night, I never think "thank god that's over" like I might at school, I think instead, I can't wait for tomorrow! Peace.

So I might get in trouble for this one...

2012-04-09T02:23:00Z

I don't know what will happen ( I am assuming nothing, especially since a not to many folks read my blog) but this art show was by far one of my top favorites of the semester! Its amazing all the things you get to do on this program, and they go beyond that in teaching you what you can do on your own. Visiting art exhibits, shows and galleries can be entirely free most of the time depending on when you go. I just have to share some of these powerful images with you all.

Also, sorry for the glare and bad angles on some of them, I was trying to just take quick shots of ones that I liked. It was so hard to choose, and If you would like to see more photos from the show, shoot me an email at sekulse@gmail.com or visit my facebook page. ps still working on the whole flickr concept. :)

Riffs by Yto Barrada at The Rennaissance Society at The University of Chicago

This piece is just cool.

I loved this one because I love trees and treehouse concepts.

I love artwork about children it can just be so moving. The whole show was just inspirational, and I think one of the main reasons I connected with it was because it was photography, which I generally really like. What inspires you and what do you usually like? Peace.

St. Patricks Day!

2012-04-09T02:03:00Z

Yeah Yeah I know it's a little late but I just had to share some of these pictures! I had so much fun in the city that day! It was unbelievably warm out and sunny and made for an amazing day of green fun! And boy were there a lot of people! It makes you think about how many people are actually in one city!

They dyed the Chicago River green! This is something I've always heard about but never actually seen in person!

They also dyed the fountain green! Chicago takes there Irish Pride seriously! I really thought this fountain was cool when I first saw it and very artistically inspirational!

Clearly, we take things so seriously that we needed Power Rangers in our St. Patty's Day Parade. I didn't understand this one.

More stuff to come soon. Peace.

Another quick blurb for you

2012-04-08T03:22:00Z

First my lovely's, I promise photo's soon! I know I've been really bad lately on posts and photo's, but soon! Also I thought my blog needed a quick makeover, and thought you all would enjoy it as well. I getting really into web and computer arts and there are some really cool art pieces in the works in the meanwhile that I will get to share with you all in about a month!

Mentioning new art, I have found a new favorite artist! He is so amazing, and his work is even more brilliant! However, because of these awesome art projects I am working on, I can't share with you who it is! As soon as the project is complete, I can, but I made a promise to myself not to overly promote materials I may be using. Which is a bit sad, because it's limiting being able to share stuff I love or stuff I dislike which is part of how I express myself. You will soon see how ironic this is, and I will leave it at that. Peace.

It's been a while...

2012-04-04T22:45:00Z

As much as i like Britney Spears song introduction, that's not where I am going with this. :P

Anyways it really has been way to long since I have posted, I let school and life really get the best of me. It happens, now lets move on to the good stuff!

Where to start. Chicago is so full of life and feeling. it amazes me, inspires me, angers me, frustrates me, confuses me, and makes me so happy all in the course of a single day! This is really difficult for me to handle! You know with my emotions already hard to navigate.

Today's post is about how people (including me) live there lives, and not just in the city but everywhere. However this will be in the context of how I am living.

Even in a city as Large as Chicago, everyone see's it. everyone does it. That dirty look across the L train. Walking past someone a little too quickly. That stare across the street. Hate. Dislike. Different. its all the same and all of its bad. I will admit, I given that dirty look and when I catch myself, I think horribly of myself for doing so.

A while ago, on a blog I just discovered an article blew up over the internet called "I'm Christian, unless your gay". http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html/2/

What he talks about in this piece seems so natural to me, because I agree with him almost every step of the way. I like to believe that all humans are equal and deserve love, and that everyone should show respect for one another no matter what they believe to be right. However, i realize my actions, don't always match what I believe.

In most people's eyes, including my own, I am some form of the word gay. I am in understanding that being in this city I have some privilege which I did not ask for, but is placed on me by society. I am a white woman, who probably comes off as average or middle class, maybe from the clothes I wear, or other things. my hair has grown out a bit (ie not short and lesbian, as many would stereotype), henceforth, throw some mouse in it or heck even a flat iron if I getting really fancy, and I come off as 100% straight to anyone seeing me walk down the street. Normal. Average. Privilege. ps I also carry a purse, what a shocker!

So for the Hispanic man walking down the street in Logan square, because he has come to expect someone like me, a young white gentrifier, if you will, to look down on him, he has learned to do the same in return, to look down on me, and give me that dirty look right back, whether I looked at him or not.

It is a system of disrespect of differences and pure hatred that has perpetuated this. And I don't like it one bit.

I've been on the other side to. I've been the blindly obvious lesbian walking down the street, and if not in say, Boystown, I get looks, most of them not nice.

In my time living here, I have tried and put much effort into doing the exact opposite. To giving a sympathetic smile to the homeless man on the corner of Clark street. Know that when I stare briefly, it is truly with understanding eyes, curious eyes. I envy the girl who walks down the street with a Hijab on her head every single day.

They are not better than me, nor I better than them. They are all people living on this earth and we all deserve the same treatment. We say this world is becoming more tolerant but sometimes I don't see it.

On the other hand I know I I'm not perfect, and I'm still working to make all my actions match my beliefs. Every day I ride the buses and L trains and every day I make that semi conscious decision to sit next to the white woman instead of the black man. When I catch myself, I try to make up for that decision in some way, correct myself later, so that I can show the world all the love I have for everyone who lives here, no exceptions or exclusions.

I want to only do what I believe is fair and right. You can not fight for equal rights (that means you gays!) if you have hatred for another group and believe that they are not equal. maybe my smile will make a small difference for someone one day. Show your love to the world, and you will be loved back. Race, Religion, Culture, Ethnicity, Sexuality, and Gender Identity. None of it matters. so show your love to everyone! Peace.

On Second Thought...

2012-03-18T17:32:00Z

I should probably tell you all about this play I saw yesterday cause it really was just that good. It was a pay-what-you-can night at the Steppenwolf and that means A broke girl like me can afford to go see a pretty cool show. It was also a show put on by Steppenwolf for young adults, so most of the actors high school students and such which I love to see since I have a high interest ion young adults and children's theater. It was insanely good quality acting! Ok ok ok on to my real pointful response.

FML: How Carson McCullers Saved My Life. Yes that is what it's called. It poised as the story of this girl Jo, a gay high school student in a catholic school, as told through her graphic novel, but really its the story of all 5 characters in the play and how everyone is affected by the situation that is occurring. There's Jo, then there's her brother Reed, who doesn't think anything of her being gay, there's Jo's best guy friend, whose also presumed gay, Mickey, there's Emma, Jo's new chem partner turned only "straight" girl in school who would want to be friends with Jo, and last there's Ms. D, the new English teacher, also presumed gay.

In an interesting plot, none of the enemies or negative characters were portrayed on stage. It gave the play way more focus on what was actually occurring, and made us imagine that these "bad guys" could be anyone in the real world. I think the three young students in this show portray 3 different levels of dealing with gay in a straight world. Mickey, Always wants to fight, do do what's right by taking action, convincing others that they should say something. Jo is in the middle, Just dealing with the teasing and Harassment and she doesn't want to make a fuss so she doesn't draw more attention to herself, but still stands out and is not going to blend in. Then there's Emma, who is struggling with why she maybe likes Jo, and is caught between her abusive boyfriend Tyler and Jo, struggling with learning about what being gay really means for Jo and others and trying to be the best friend that she knows how to be to Jo.

Ok enough with the character development, the play's plot is simple enough, but at times not cliche and at others very cliche. Jo, is struggling but it gets worse as the story goes on. Little bings of light happen along the way, when she confides in her very understanding teacher, Mrs D. when the school changes the rule where girls were required to where skirts, but there is still a gradual decline. First its someone defacing Jo's locker with the word "Faggot" and then the climax, is Jo getting beaten up close to death after a school basketball game and lands her in the hospital for a week. It is a sad, shocking, and unexpected climax, that jolts you right in the middle of this story. I also thought the ending was a little short, but an amazing choice. No happy ending, no resolution. Ms. D, the only teacher Jo likes at her catholic school, gets fired. Even though Emma repairs her friendship with Jo, Jo does not seem to "get better" (although she heals from the beating and returns to school). The piece ends with just Jo and Mickey, ditching school and having a conversation.

I could have gone on to explain that story forever and in such detail of all the little things that happened. I loved the show more than you can ever know. It was not a PSA, It didn't come off as anything predictable or what I may have expected. It was reality, raw, real, and true, but still portrayed in a semi fictional way. The emotions, the feelings, even the behaviors from all sides are things that go on in our world every single day. A world where kids are not safe from each other is the sad world that we live in and I like to think that I fight to change that every single day. I don't dislike someone for not having the same views as I do, but as long as you can show me respect, I will give you that in return. I've lived with a catholic roommate, I have another friend who does not believe in gay rights. Neither of them have ever pushed there views on me and I don't push on them, and we have great friendships because of it, and I have learned so much from both of them. The problem that I have is with parents, adults, and other people who don't let children think independently, don't let them form their own views. or don't teach them to respect others even if they have different views than you. That last piece is what is really going to save our kids and save our future. Plays like this are so important for people to see because they truly make you think and help you understand from all perspectives. Peace.