A ClockWork-Chris

2011-09-18T19:53:00.001-04:00

Everything so much slower

Almost boring

Thoughts now easy to filter

The bad ones rarely escape my lips

And when they do

A quick lie can cover it up

Pretend like it’s all okay

While waiting for the decay

What do you want me to say

This game I don’t want to play

Keeping the image up

Smiling constantly

To all those who don’t matter to me

Trying to keep things moving

Momentum is all that keeps up this mask

So if I keep up the tempo

And no one will ever really know me

The Dance

2011-06-12T21:27:00.000-04:00

Eyes lock across the room
Like magnets
As if seeing one another
Through a mirror
The serenade of steps
Echoing through the room
Mimicking each other
Almost mechanical
Yet as fluid as water
Until they encounter
Face to face, hand to hand
Time stops for an instant
As the tune fades out
And the next dance begins
The two appear as one
Indulging in each other's flesh
Without a care
For the observers
Enjoying the unequivocal spectacle
Of love at first site

Mantra

2011-06-10T21:06:00.002-04:00

Breath

A one-word mantra repeated

Regardless of the surroundings

And actions of others

Expelling the negativity

The foolish thought that the ability to write

Has expired

With each exhale

Blocking out the world and time itself

Hesitant that truth lies even in a breath

Until there is no choice but to gasp vehemently for life

Every sensory input overloaded at once

With only the eloquence of oxygen

3WW-Erratic, Luminous, Omen

2011-06-02T14:44:00.000-04:00

The night before had been dark as pitch

But the moon this evening was luminous

As if it had skipped several phases

And the sun was just around the corner

Shining brightly and reflecting off

A giant mirror hanging right above our heads

Possibly a bad omen, possibly not

We began to look for anything unnatural

Overlooking perhaps the most obvious

The erratic behavior coming from Jack

First it was simple short spouts of noise

But as the light grew brighter so did the volume of his howls

Until he began to jerk back and forth

As he ripped off his clothes and sprouted long course hair all over

The transformation was sickening yet hypnotic

We watched our friend run off on all fours

Into the hills behind the tall Elms

Never to be heard from again

Carry on Tuesday #107 -So little done, so much to do-

2011-06-02T13:43:00.000-04:00

The speed of life for many

Seems to be at one extreme or the other

Flying by so swiftly that we can’t keep up

Or creeping by so leisurely that we become uninterested

With no happy medium in between

Is it really life that changes pace

Or our perception and state of mind

That make it what it is

A depressed person might ponder

So much to do, so little done

But are they really making progress

Past that which is simply necessary

A manic person similarly always stays busy

Yet is never caught up

So much to do, getting it done

But is staying busy any better

There is always something else

Another thought that needs to be addressed

In between you will find those

Who have learned not to worry

Finding a balance in the middle

The porridge that was just right

Without having to go into the bear’s house

Sunday Scriblings #269 -FLOCK-

2011-06-02T12:58:00.000-04:00

Animals follow in suite one after another

Having a leader but at the same time all equal

A flock does what is best for the group

The leader at that time staying rational

With us, the number of followers

Often fuels a leader with a power hungry addiction

Propelling them forward in bizarre directions

Both dangerous and devious

Much more preferable to see a flock of geese

Fertilizing as they walk through a yard

Than a flock of soldiers

Pillaging and bringing death

Mindlessly following the orders

Of the dictator who happened to be

King of the mountain for the day

The Cycle

2011-05-31T14:18:00.001-04:00

Day after day things just seem to cycle

This silly circle of life where days are good enough

But never outstanding

And never sad

I still long for pain relentless enough

To bring forth a shower of tears

Wiping this repetitious and deliciously boring existence away

To make room for something more real

Why should my life be so easy?

Why can’t I prepare some now for the inevitable drop off?

Of death, loss, and disappointment

Curious if it will bring forth laughter or loathing

The only thing I know

Is that I won’t be ready

Down the Drain

2011-05-31T14:17:00.001-04:00

Hard to believe what I found out on accident

The reality of this truth seems so foreign

Innocence drained away so quickly

Like the water twirling down a drain

No matter how careful I try to be

It’s obvious that there are things that I can’t see

Back to tiptoeing and thinking three moves ahead

And praying that things don’t get more messed up than this

Phony

2011-05-31T14:16:00.001-04:00

Phony people collected in a room

Wasting space and breath

Longing to maintain the status quo

Taking turns regurgitating information

Never wanting to actually listen

When something worth saying is said

As time passes the lies mount up

But no one seems to notice

Each stuck in their own self-hypnotic trance

Paying too much attention to themselves

Selfish phony people
Will they ever learn

That Place I Loved

2011-05-31T14:15:00.001-04:00

I remember a time

When you looked at me and smiled

When you would lose yourself in me

When we were so in love

We could not stop saying it

Now after a long time

Of dreaming and praying for things to change

It seems we are headed back

To that place I loved

I imagine warm embraces

Your fingers on my skin

Your lips pressing against mine

And most of all

I pray for forgiveness

For all that I have done

For the first time in years

It seems possible

And I can stop crying long enough

To notice the present

Instead of focusing on the past

I hope it lasts

Seeing You Again

2011-05-31T14:14:00.001-04:00

When I think of you

I look back ten years

To a time when I did not know what I wanted

If I had known then what I do now

Things would have been so different

You are like a memory of childhood

It’s been so long now

There is no telling if our friendship is based more on

Trying to remember the good times

Ignoring the bad times

Or just basing it on this long break with phone calls

And emails where we both seem satisfied

And yet somewhat dead

I don’t have to close my eyes

To picture yours looking back into them

And I am excited

About the chance of seeing you again

After all these years

Bad Fruit

2011-05-31T14:12:00.001-04:00

You are the seed from which all this bad fruit is grown

And I put the bright red tape all around your tree

To keep others from the misfortune you have given me

I dug a shallow grave and dreamed of burying you

But like a perennial you just keep coming back

The communication between us I failed to understand

As if you were speaking in tongues all along

You bring out a side of me that no one else should see

And from my point of view they must all think I am crazy

When I close my eyes I no longer know what is real

Just that I long to be rid of you, and you are still here

Private Viewing

2011-05-31T14:10:00.001-04:00

Time to escape from reality

And go into his private viewing

The current blockbuster this week

Where you are one star

And he is the other

Giving you all he can give

While retaining the thought

This is just a nine to five

And when the day is over

Pretending it never happened

The abyss

2011-05-31T14:07:00.003-04:00

From behind

Hands grasp cheap bleached blond hair

Pulling her back

While gagging her

No screams this time

No one to save her

No gloves to hide his prints

This is long premeditated

And he doesn’t care

The struggle she gives

Insignificant at best

Even his testicles are numb

This must be done

The thought echoes in his mind

Fingers close in on her throat

Wrenching the life from her

Feeling the pulse in his palms

As the breath slows

The heart weakens

The movement stops

And her dead eyes glare forward

Into the abyss

Seperate Worlds

2011-05-31T14:05:00.001-04:00

Change the weather

This is forever

Nothing is the same

Have you forgotten all the pain

We caused each other

Maybe it was just me

But I swore at times just a glance

Was all it took to make you cry

Now we pretend

Like we are in our own separate worlds

Ignoring one another

When it is convenient

But neither of us is the same

And there is no one to blame

But ourselves

Agreement

2011-05-31T14:04:00.001-04:00

Dry your eyes

This is no time for tears

I don’t make up the rules

But I follow them

The agreement we had

Was no strings attached

So excuse me if I wonder

Why you seem hurt

That I want to move on

Didn’t you read the chapter

On how I steal your soul

And move on to claim another

I could be sweet

And tell you I’ll miss you

No, it would be too nice

So instead I spit in your face

And bid you goodnight

Jobs from Past

2011-05-31T14:03:00.001-04:00

The plastic smile smeared upon her face

May have deceived some of her new flock

But for most of us, we silently agreed

A community of mutually unhappy drones

All sharing at least two common beliefs

Helping people is important and admirable

And our CEO is selfish and sub-human

While although I know life is unfair

I can only pray that in death

When her money is no longer useful

A swift and grueling justice will be served

So many rules

There is a handbook

Yet you can do whatever you want

There is a reason no one goes up against you

A reason at this point no one has said NO

Because you lead us to believe you own us

You are a filthy rich bitch itching to keep earning

While we slave for under-wage monies

It’s Valentines Day!

2011-02-14T22:58:00.000-05:00

Time for some Champaign

Be careful not to get bitten

In a vein

If you start feeling weird

Please don’t complain

If you do yourself in quickly

You may stay sane

And then you won’t scream

Brain, Brain, Brain

Look for signs

Like leaking gas

Stay behind a barrier

Made of fiberglass

Stay away from strangers

If they appear mean

Make sure to avoid those

That are green

Travel in groups

Lock the doors with keys

Run like hell

When you see Zombies

Once you hear them

Screaming for Brains

You’re better off dead

Than with those pains

Zombies in love

Can feel no pain

They share a meal

Eating brain

Always on the same side

Killing together

They will tear you open

Like shreds of leather

A marriage past death

Until they feel lead

That cuts off the message

From brain to head

A poem for Single Women on Valentine's Day (this is dirty)

2011-02-10T13:52:00.000-05:00

It's almost time for Valentines
A day I love to hate
Time to drink up lots of wine
And start to medicate
For me things don't go by design
Because I do not have a date
I won't be going out to dine
Flowers and chocolates are not my fate
Instead in a bar I will combine
Ruffies and drinks as bate
Tring to find a man with which to entwine
Only none of them are straight
Broke and tired, I must resign
I'm feeling so frustrated
When back at home I'll reach cloud nine
With toys that vibrate

Untitled 2

2010-11-23T18:50:00.002-05:00

It is as if I can never reassure people enough
Goes to show that I can’t change anyone’s mind
Obviously I am not happy about being unemployed
But depressed, not a chance
I guess I understand how some could get to that conclusion
However, the ones who get there seem to forget that week
In the hospital, medications adjusted, the mania addressed
I am just not a bouncy energetic person anymore
I don’t have to say everything that is on my mind
I no longer feel nervous, I am not shaking
I sometimes enjoy contemplating in silence
Now that I feel cured, you think I am sick
You have only known me for a few years
Years in which I was always manic
I feel more like myself now
Than I have since I was eighteen
I am never sad and I do not cry
I think about living life, not suicide
My smile has not gone anywhere
My definition of healthy just doesn’t match yours
Because I am me
And that is all I want

No Title Yet

2010-11-17T07:25:00.000-05:00

I remember a time
When you looked at me and smiled
When you would lose yourself in me
When we were so in love
We could not stop saying it
Now after a long time
Of dreaming and praying for things to change
It seems we are headed back
To that place I loved
I imagine warm embraces
Your fingers on my skin
Your lips pressing against mine
And most of all
I pray for forgiveness
For all that I have done
For the first time in years
It seems possible
And I can stop crying long enough
To notice the present
Instead of focusing on the past
I hope it lasts

River Water

2010-06-18T07:56:00.001-04:00

The river water rippled during the rite
Wearing a robe as he accepted the rock
Although rough in the past
He rotated to a side less rough, more smooth
Fully ripe and born again letting God take the risk
He stepped forward onto a new road rollicking
A routine changed from rubbish
To a rudamentary belief in Christ
Leaving the rum and ruin behind
Digging his way out of the rot while running
A revulsion to Satan and a rhapsody to Jesus
Knowing rigomortis would not be a problem for him

Down

2010-06-18T07:50:00.001-04:00

As the night descends on this disorder
I want to disown and disparage these emotions
The feelings have depreciated the divergence
I enjoy dispatching foward my differences
Disecting and directing
Dissimulating myself until I dissipate
Into the distance

In here

2010-06-18T07:48:00.000-04:00

It doesn't take mastering metaphysics
To measure the many reasons
Why I find myself sitting here
Militant to a mighty system of migrains
The method I chose to master
Was to become a meticulous metronome
Constantly militating in my microcosm
Medling in the middle of everything

The Value of a friend

2010-06-02T07:56:00.000-04:00

You have been a great friend
I don't have the words to say
Or the songs to sing
To tell you how much you mean

For so long now I have been focused
On trying to improve upon myself
That I have not bothered
To see the changing beauty around me

I really want to let you know
That you have given me a new reason to smile
And I am truly honored
To be able to call myself your friend