Welcome to My World

Life is new

2020-06-10T18:54:00.000-07:00

Hello my faithful readers, it has been been awhile I know and I am sorry for my absence but as most know life happens when we don't want it to. Some things I can catch you up on and other things I am just living day by day with.

So many things have changed. First the family dynamic is different. Roo and I had come to the mutual decision that we are better friends. Thankfully it was peaceful and we are still working together to raise Mini. We are doing well and that is a brief look into that time.

Now life has taken a turn. Mini and I have been learning who we are. I have been finding who I am and have been coming to terms to with the things I can and can not change. Mini is learning who she is and I am always surprised by what I see.

Like other things I will let you go for the ride.

Later Days

Hello Again

2018-01-27T14:37:00.001-08:00

Hey there to all my faithful readers. Let me first say sorry it's been so long. This past year went by so quick. So a small run down of our lives.

The Mini isn't really a Mini anymore. She entered 7th grade and I can tell you shes growing up and I'm not real sure that I like it. Once again she is a Cheer Leader and though I can say she is by far from perfect I am so proud of the young lady that she is becoming.. We've struggled a little bit with the fact that she is growing and it is becoming more noticeable and I cNan only hope that she keeps her positive outlook as she gets older.

The Mini still does and says some goofy things and my hope is that as I begin to share our lives with you all that I will remember to give you her bits of wisdom. Now I will tell you that I will be nice and ask her before sharing some of her better moments with the world as she is getting older and she may not be as happy to have people know of some of her "sparkling" moments so we will see.

This past year we said goodbye to my Nanny as she went home to be reunited with her family and my Poppy. It was a hard thing to deal with and I will revisit this with ya'll soon as I don't want my first post after being gone for so long to be about something a sad. But just like the others in my life I will be sharing that with you as well.

The rest of it was just us being over worked. I'll be posting again soon.Later Days

Happy Mothers Day/A letter to Mini

2016-05-10T09:16:00.002-07:00

Hello to all my awesome readers. It is I, the Great Tiffdini....
So as most of you know Mothers Day is the day we celebrate all the moms out there. It should be a day of joyful rest but there were some that were working hard....I of course was one of those. I can tell you that I was a little blue as Mini was not home. I missed Mini. So I'm gonna use that for a moment to write this letter for her.

To My Little Girl,

I want to tell you how proud I am of you everyday. Your heart is bigger than the state of Texas. (yes I'm measuring you the state) Everyday you grow more beautiful and your personality shines bright. You truly are my little star. As a mom I try to the best that I can and on the day that we celebrate mothers I tend to reflect and believe that I fall short.
We had so many plans and often times they do get derailed and flipped. But I can tell you that as your mother I will do the best that I can to make sure you are happy. Now with that being said please note that I will flip out on you at a moments notice. Though I want you happy, I first want you to grow into a decent human being and that does mean that if I feel that you are crossing the line in to the "You've lost your Damn mind" territory it is my job to pull back.
I want people to remember you to be the sweetest person and you are off to a good start. You have a great compassion for those around you and though I know you sometimes feel the weight of the world as your mom I will be here to lift it off your shoulders.
Keep in mind that somethings do not concern you unless I am speaking directly to you, sometimes Mom just has to Vent. You are the apple of our eye and I hope that as you grow you will continue to like me. Even though truth be told you will come to an age that liking me will be very hard to do. I will of course except the responsibility of pissing off friends when you ask, as well as you who will, let's face it, require a lot of time to reflect on what ever action you may get in trouble from.
Being a mom means that I can help shape you and help you grow. It also means that I don't have to care about what your friends say, wear or have. I will demand respect and accept small amounts of sarcasm as you are my child and I want you to be well rounded.
I love you
Mom

Christmas Cheer

2015-12-20T08:24:00.001-08:00

Hello there to all my faithful readers, It's been awhile and I apologize about that, I've been a little busy. Roo and I took a trip to Vegas to celebrate our friends wedding. Roo said we could save up and go back so I'm excited about that cause he said he never wanted to go.
We had an end of the season cheer party, Roo was told he will be on the board next year soooo... I'm looking at another busy season. We had Thanksgiving and now it's time to celebrate Christmas.
So I'm not sure where I left off but we've had a pretty rough year. My Memaw went home to be with family I'm sure she is enjoying playing with my Sophie. It's just been well you know.

Well here it is the tiem that we should all be full of Holly and Jolly and yet more often then not people are full of anger. So I decided that today I will give you a story for some cheer. Like everything I spill here this is absolutely true....well accept for the part where I change the names to protect the innocent.

1st Story
Mom and I went for dinner on one of my days off. We are trying to get ready for the holiday. Anyway we had dinner then went shopping for a bit, On the way back home we stopped cause she wanted to get gas. She handed me her card and asked if I'd pump, "No problem" so I get out and do the good daughter thing and get the gas. Once it's done I put the nozzle back and I get back in the car and we continue or discussion.(Which I can't remember but I can promise it's not important for this story.) As she was driving and we were talking we heard this "THUMP THUMP THUMP" "What is that?" mom asked and we kept going then I noticed that in the mirror from the light from the car behind us, what the sound was. "Uh" well insert a different word.
Mom "What?"
Me: Well I know what the thumping is
and I start laugh, mom catches on "Please tell me that's not the gas cap"
Me. OK \
at this point I am almost in tears. See I can be pretty oblivious sometimes and apparently when I got gas I forgot put the gas cap on. It was pretty funny until the car behind us turned and the sound stopped. Then I just was laughing for a different reason. Mom "Tiffany I promise you if that gas cap is not on my car when I drop you off I will take yours off your car and throw it"
Now I'm laughing cause I know this is not an idle threat I'm just praying it will be there.
So mom pulls into my drive way to drop me off and thankfully there it is it got stuck behind the closure. As I laughed now in relief that I would not have to have my car unlocked so we could pop open the gas cap I am now laughing about the hilariousness of it all.
If you don't laugh at this idea of this happening to you at some point then you maybe you'll like the next story

2nd Story
This story is not mine to tell to be honest. I do not know every aspect of the details but what I do know is how this mother felt. This story is sad and still full of the spirit.
Young girl was in a terrible accident with her sister a few weeks ago. She was hurt and was in a comma. This young girl's smile could light up a room and though I only met her once or twice I could tell that she was something special. As she fought for her life her parents fought for just one more moment with her. Something happens when you're a parent and your child is going through this. When her she passed away her parents had to make some decisions and one of those decisions is one that will help heal others. They chose to have her organs donated so that 7 other people could receive a very precious gift.
Like I said this wasn't my story to tell and I don't know all the behind the scenes but as a mother that had to make a choice much like this my heart has been heavy and lightened. It is sad what this family is going through but at the same time they know that their daughter and sister has given assisted with giving the gift of hope to others. And I think that is what makes this story part of my holiday cheer list.

See we forget sometimes that above all else the greatest gifts we can give can be Hope. We give hope for love and for the future. As parents if you look you can see it in their eyes. You can see the wonder and the hope for everything they want. Sometimes we call it dreams but what it really is, what it really Hope and I think the real meaning for Christmas Cheer is Hope.
So lets think about that the next time you want to push, cuss, or just bully someone that you don't know when you don't get your way.

A Ranting Day

2015-08-08T16:56:00.002-07:00

Good evening to all my readers out there. I just wanted to drop a line or two and give you some updates on the goings on in my "Happy Little World". This summer has not turned out like I thought it should. It's been filled with ups and downs all the way around and I've wondered how much it affects others.
Mini is doing good though she has her moments that break my heart. Here's my question what do you tell someone that asks if a person cares for them? Or why they don't want her around. Since the day she was born I've always held true to one phrase. "Everyone who knows you loves you, and those that don't just don't know you yet." Sadly the last few months she's been asking this question. And you can only tell her so many times that sometimes people are selfish. I don't understand the way things are right now and I'm sure for those reading this today will read the incoherent babble that seems to be coming out of me today.
I'm one of those that kind of keeps things inside for awhile. I don't really want to tell people what's going on but at the same time I don't understand the choices people make. I don't understand why someone would turn their back on those they claim to love. Why not just be open with whatever is pissing you off and let's get over the crap. I mean lets face it life is too short and people are literally dying off.
Maybe they are so caught up in their delusions that they have begun to believe their own stories. They believe they are not needed in a persons life. The problem is they are missing some of the greatest things of those people. Oh well I'm sure more months of selfish behavior will go by.
Let's face it I'm not perfect but I would cut off my own arm before treating those around me the way we've been treated. I may get mad and snarky and I may tell Roo every bad thing I am think about someone but I get over it. I take a breath and I remind myself that they are still needed some way in my life. I don't run away and shut out those that matter. You only do that for those that don't and if my Mini doesn't matter to you well then I'm sorry for you bad luck. She is greatness. She is amazeballs dipps in awesome-sauce and sprinkled in kindness. She will take over the world and you wont be there to see it. So I will continue to tell her she's loved but I won't hide the fact that these people are selfish and so wrapped up in their own stupid mind of what ever injustice was done to them. I won't hide the fact that sometime they need to learn how to let things go because they are not just hurting themselves but those around them.
Oh well thank you for reading I'll get off the soap box today

Just to say I love you

2015-06-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

Hey there to all my faithful readers.Its funny, every time I get a break in the whole writers block something happens that just takes up all my thoughts. Tonight it is no different. Tonight I'm listening to music and I'm thinking of the past. I'm thinking of a time when I was little and everything seemed simple. Of a time when people took their time to be seen as polite. Mostly I'm thinking about family.
My family like many have gone through highs and lows. Joy and sadness and this past week is no different. So tonight I want to tell you about a woman who meant a lot as I was growing.
See this woman to the left, Her name was Reba Evelyn Ray. Though you would never know her middle name. She was the youngest of 12 kids. She lived in a time that a small town really meant small. She was voted Homecoming Queen, much to her dismay. She always had an encouraging word and could tell you some pretty good stories. I wont get into her private affairs but I can tell you with pride that she loved. Her family was her world and her friends were just as close. Any one who met her always left with a kind word and a smile, though I don't think she realized it. This woman could dazzle you when you got right down to it. And the most special and precious thing about this woman, She was my Memaw. When I was younger my brother and I would go and spend weekends with her. The little things I remember was the way her house always had a faint floral smell, though even that's not the right description but it always went home with me when I left. She always had the best cookies and always kept a can of Ravioli in the pantry, even when I grew up (which is something I won't admit too).She worked hard, she single handedly raised the woman who would become not only my mom but my best friend. I knew that I could always call her no matter what, even if what to just give into some silliness. It was a comfort to know she was there. She had a full life and though it wasn't always the easiest the point was that she lived. She included her child in some of her adventures and she taught us all that she was the Head of the family. She was beautiful and I think sometimes I took that for granted. I think the stories get jumbled with the memories and I hate that.
Like I said family was important. I am blessed that not only did Boo and I get to have her in our lives, but that our children got to as well. She lit up when you talked about them.

So after all of this and I'm not even telling some of the stories or memories, mainly because right now I'm a little selfish with them, The reason for this tonight is that I needed to say something. You see, she left us this past week. I guess she decided it was time to go home.And though you tell yourself its better, there is still this part inside that you know your going to be missing.She was one of my avid fans. From the blogs, to the stories to the books. She always encouraged me.She was a rare jewel and I will miss her everyday, though I know she is in good hands, It still doesn't make it easy. Reba "Memaw" Ray you will be missed but I will make you proud. Love you....

Keep on Knocking

2015-05-07T12:51:00.000-07:00

Hello there to all my faithful readers, it is I the great and powerful.....well it's me anyway. I hope this week has been treating you well. I have to say that this is the first week in along time that I've felt more like myself. As I sit here in the new land of cubes, I am thinking about the last few weeks and decided it was time to share whats been going on. 1st off I now work with Roo. I've been trying to get this job forever and now that I'm here I have to say I really really like it. My training was good but it was at the end of my training that things have been going downhill. I had a sinus infection a month ago and got that cleared up only to turn around and get another one a few weeks ago. I can honestly say I've seen more of the doctor in the last few weeks then I had in a few years. But with that being said, I'll continue. This time instead of just a sinus infection I also had an ear infection, which means my balance has been suffering as well. Veritgo strikes when I least excpect it. But this is all part of the fact that I was also quickly become dehydrated. So I decided it was time to get off the soda's and start drinking water and gatoraid. So I started cutting down and cutting out. Doc was nice about it he prescribed me steriods to take to help fight the infection. So on the last day of the medicine is when I decided it was time to start knocking on a door that I am really not ready for it to be answered. Last Tuesday I woke up early and was extremely sick. I thought it was just something I ate and had planned to go back to sleep until it was time to go to work. After Roo took the Mini to school he came back home to find me lying on the bathroom floor. It was cool and I just didn't have the energy to move. After I tried to get up I relized that I was hurting everywhere and I couldn't catch my breath. After Roo helped me to get dressed he was going to take me to the hospital when I just couldn't move anymore. He called for 911. When the ambulance got to my house, I remember them asking some questions, I remember them putting me on a board and placing oxygen on me and then I barely remember the bumpy ride to the hospital. I think I may have passed out. Roo said that I was hypertensive. I remember the er providing medicine in order to finally get me to be able to relax. And of course I remember why I like morphine. The ER doc explained that I was in DKA (I believe is what it is called.) I didn't know what that was. I know I was scared and I know I was asleep for the bigger part of the day. Roo didn't know how serious it was at the time either, they said they didn't want to scare us. Well after being told I was going to the ICU and being put on all the fluids I began to get a clearer picture. I worried a few people and we didn't say anything to anyone because again we weren't really sure of the severity of the issue. It turns out that I am still very much the diabetic and the advice from the physician a few years ago that I could stop taking the medication completely since I had lost the weight, should have been questioned alittle more then I did. I guess when you get down to it you can convience yourself your not sick anymore. I know that I need to continue to drink water but can still balance it with other things and of course I should stay away from the gatoraide. Though I was apparently close to death, he polite enough to not answer the door when I began to knock. On the other hand when I did come back to work I learned that he was very possibly out for the evening collecting another soul. (My heart does go out to that family) It's gonna take some work and it's going to be a bit but I will get better completely. I have to much life left to live. So with all that said I guess I'll keep knocking softly and hopefully he will keep ignoring me for awhile longer. later days

Parenting 101-Teaching Social Media

2015-03-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

Good day to all my faithful readers, I hope that life has been treating you well at this point. Today I would like to go back to our parenting lessons. After a recent look into the wonderful world of social media I have learned a few things, mainly the fact that we as parents are practically oblivious to not only the outside world but also the social world around us.

As I was looking through Mini's phone (yes she has a phone and yes I do request the privilege of going through it at whatever time I wish to ask) I was scrolling through her Instagram account when I discovered to my astonishment that these young ladies (I do mean young) are once again showing their Mean Girls skills and have brought bullying to a whole new level. I have to give it to my girl, not one of the mean comments or threats where from her. Though the one comment that I did see from her did become an instant learning experience. (I'll get into that in a minute) It was here that I learned that this girls (who by the way are between 8-10) have taken their bullying ways from the playground and the snide remarks in the regular setting and have now began taking their frustrations out over social media. Now, I know that this is truly nothing new as this has been going on for quite sometime, but as our schools are giving our children email addresses and certain responsibilities that go along with this I feel that we, as parents, need also to once again step in and actually do our jobs. Parent.... So with that being said I have once again decided to give a quick Parenting 101 on how to work with your child and the whole Social Media thing.

1) Talk to your child: This is an important one that we all miss as parents. We tend to ignore our kids for various reasons:

a) we had a long day

b) we had a bad day

c) we have other stuff on our minds.

Whatever the reason and those are just three of the more prominent ones. Keeping a line of open communication with our kids will allow for an insight to what is actually going on in their world today. So you may not care that Little Johnny acted out for the 9th time in class, but if you wait you may learn that it was due to something that he may have said and that your child feels that it is questionable.

2) Expose them to the world: Besides actually treating them like that have something important to tell us (which in their minds they do) we need to allow them to see the world. Now before you flip out please note I am not saying let's take our children on some drunken bender, or introduce them to the more seedy things in life as they are kids and they will of course learn this. What I am suggesting is that you can't hide every bad or negative thing from them. There is such a thing as being too sheltered. I want Mini to be a kid for as long as she can but if she asks those questions or hears those statements I am going to answer.

3) Teach right from wrong: It's silly that I must put this out there, but I'm going to. There is a right and wrong for a reason folks. Teach your kids. Teach them that it is no only in "real-life" but also in the "cyber-world" as well. Teach them early, talk to them often, and show them right way.

4) Be aware: Again the whole point of this post today. Be ware of those that you are allowing your child to follow on any social media. Be aware of those that are following your child. Be aware of whats going on around them. Regardless of what is said, YOU are still their parent.

5) Once it is out there: This is one of the most important things I think we need to teach our children. Just like gossip, just like normal everyday words. Once it is out there on Social Media there is no going back. A little friend of Mini's placed a picture a cute little kid and said "He asked me out" Mini and this little girl kind of gushed about it for a moment. Then Mini said "OMG she's so gonna Kill you" talking about another little friend. When I read this I immediately called Mini into the room and told her this was what her father and I had been talking about. This conversation had been going on over Instagram. We told her that anyone could see that and though I may have made a big deal about I told her that the "she's gonna kill you" could be considered a threat. Now I know that this was only said as a way of expression and that Mini didn't mean it, she stated that she could just "Delete" it, I took this an opportunity to teach a lesson. So here it is

Take a piece of paper and write the most negative thing you can think of......Now rip it up....

She was confused but she did what I asked. "whats this do?" she asked.

"Absolutely nothing" I told her as we ripped the paper in to a few more small squares. But then I laid some of the pieces down and I said "That was a delete" she still looked confused and then I went on "But tell me even by ripping the paper, did you make it clean? Or is there still writing on it?"

Mini answered that there was still writing, I nodded and told her "That's exactly what happens with computer and social media, you see just because you wrote it, you sent it and then you thought 'oh no' and you deleted it doesn't mean the damage hasn't already been done. Just like this paper, you wrote it, you saw it, you ripped it up, but it didn't erase the fact that it was still there."

6) Always learn/teach: We are evolving parents. I am lucky that I did not grow up in a completely digital age. Our pictures of our mistakes were taken on actual film and not plastered all over the internet for all the world to see. I am learning that somethings need to remain private and yet I am able to choose what parts of my life to share. I am teaching my daughter that even as someone as kind of heart as she is, that even she can make those mistakes. I give her the show of freedom without actually giving her true freedom so that I am able to help her grow and learn. I would rather she learn with me by her side then learn later that it was something she felt that she had to hide.

Parents, though I believe our teachers have a responsibility to guide and teach our children it is also our responsibility to continue with their lessons. Don't be the parent with the over tight hold on their kids because they wish to shelter them. Be the parent that is moving right along with them. Show them that to have strength and courage you must not only stand up for yourself but also to make the decision to know whats right. Teach your 8-10 that yes there are cuss words in the world and yes they may hear quite a few of them from you, but there is a time and a place for them to be said. And at 8-10 years of age that's not it. This kids are growing up so fast that they are missing out on being kids.

I know this may anger a few parents but at the same time at least let it open your eyes. I am not a perfect parent. I am guilty of everything I have pointed out. But I make sure that before Mini is allowed to say it, that she has an understanding of what "it" is or means. Because once it comes out of your mouth you have to take ownership of saying.

Today's lesson was not only on teaching social media but of also teaching ourselves. We have to do better or our worlds will crumble. Don't just preach/teach the values that you want them to learn. Show them. We are, as parents, the first teachers our children have. They watch us, learn from us, mimic us. Be less judging of others and show that everything you want for your child is everything you are truly teaching the.

Happy Days

Quick Hello

2015-02-22T13:54:00.001-08:00

Happy Sunday peeps. I hope that this weekend has been good for you. As most of you know it's been a little drizzly here in Texas. As even more of you know my youngest would have been 3 years old this weekend. Yesterday as a matter of fact.
I got through it, mainly cause I stayed busy, then of course there was the part that I was sick too. My head is so stopped up I really don't have any place for thoughts right now. Of course that's not to say I don't have them. I am still grieving, I am still wondering why, but I still accept that somethings are not meant to be.
So we started a new chapter, we are still in the same place which is good cause Mini did not want to move away. But we were able to get a new home. It's perfect for us and though I've been working quite a bit (I've only actually been in the house 1 full day after being here a week)
The job is going pretty good. It's different that what I thought but so far I do like it. I'm just wondering if this is where I am really meant to be or is this just another stop. Will this be apart of the book of life full time or a small chapter.....
Mini has been doing good. She wants to do another year of cheer. She is struggling with school a little bit this year but she's doing better. I'll have some new pictures of the new house put up soon. I just mainly wanted to touch base
Later days

A Whole New Year

2015-01-06T11:48:00.000-08:00

Happy New Years to all my faithful readers, I know its been awhile, just like you know I always come back. So lets get it started. Last year ended with some big changes. I left the land of cubes and started a new job.
Now its been a few months (feels like forever) but my training is almost done. I'm looking forward to the end of training but until then I am just soaking up all the knowledge that I can.
The end of last year also saw us moving. We are in a transition phase right now, a big thank you to my parents, but we are working on getting a new home. It's not something that I have talked about a lot with anyone only because we wanted to make sure things were going to happen in the right way. Now of course we are playing the waiting game. We ended Christmas in our family last weekend. I got to see both of my little nephews. I can't believe how big they are getting. Mini of course had an awesome Christmas. Once again I want to thank all our family for helping us with this.
Every year I panic, this year was no different even though our big family gift is a house, it's not here yet and well I'm just kind of like....well anyway the point is thank you to everyone for helping make her Christmas great.
So let's kick off the Christmas recap with our yearly visit from that famous Elf on the Shelf Charlie.

This year was a tame compared to last year. Of course with the ending of Sons of Anarchy, Charlie took out some frustrations. He also had a flashback moment to the early years of tv with a Romper Room visit. He was excited that he could see everyone.
Then we went down to Roo's family so that we could spend the holiday with them. Mini loved all the gifts she got this year even though some of them are still packed and boxed up waiting on the new house. One thing we do every year and this year was no different, we got our Christmas pj's. We get them on Christmas eve and usually we watch movies. This year we introduced Mini to the Christmas Story. So the next day she was reminding us that "It will shoot your eye out" it was pretty funny. Santa came and with the knowledge of the big family gift on his mind. He wished Mini a Merry Christmas and gave her what every little girl should have. Yup she got a head. It is like the Barbie heads that we used to decorate and style but this was Monster High. She loved it though she hasn't gotten to play with it to much just yet. All and all I think she had an awesome time. When New Years came it was to me being sick. I know it's a sucky way to end your year but even though we played it low key we are looking forward to this new chapter of our lives.
We are starting this year out with a new house and new job. So I will keep ya'll posted.

Sad Goodbyes/New Beginnings

2014-11-19T07:54:00.000-08:00

Well hello there to all my faithful readers. I hope this week is being good to you so far. So as someone who doesn't really hold a lot in, I've been doing just that for awhile now. For the most part there is still some stuff up in the air so I don't want to go into those details, So the question now is, what exactly will I be telling you in this edition.
Simple, I said goodbye yesterday to two years of employment. Two years ago I was searching for something new. I was looking for away to escape becoming more withdrawn. I found that in the land of cubes, I found my escape and I found that I wanted was to be with people once again. I found some really great people and made friends. Roo even made some of those friends with me. A lot has changed in the last two years for us. The land of cubes was a new beginning for me, It allowed me to get away from my grief of loss and strangely enough helped me to move on. I was able to put feeling into my work and move on. Work has always been cheaper than therapy.
They were there when once again a year ago I lost another member of my family, again allowing me to put those emotions in work. Now it's time to close that chapter of my life. I hope to not have to lose those friends that I made but it's time to begin making my way back to the world.
I was able to accomplish so much and my family remains proud of me, but now its time to go back out and mingle face to face.
I don't know if I'm going to like it, I don't know if I'm still going to be good at it. But I do know that this is something that is right for me to do, right now. I'll keep you posted on everything of course and let you know about the other happenings in my life. So today's post is short but I did want to give you some insight into what is going on with me,
Later Days

Cheer Grand Chamipions

2014-10-11T10:58:00.000-07:00

Happy Saturday to all my faithful readers. It's me again, and I am here to give some updates on life in the wonderful world of me. 1st things first. Mini's Cheer team was awesome last Saturday. I want to start by telling you this was supposed to be a cool day for their competition. The girls went down to my home town, Mabank, Friday night, spent the night in the hotel (where I'm told they were greatness for the moms) They got their hair did then it was off to bed. Saturday morning these girls got up, ate breakfast, ran a small muck and began to get ready for one long chilly day. They wore their long sleeves, that were purchased for the cool weather. They all looked the same, we got them to the field and learned a very sorry truth. That cool weather we were supposed to be experiencing was put to the back due to the sun and our girls were the second division to perform and we were only on the first (Midgets). As I handed off Mini and the other girls to our Team mom I felt a little pride watching my girl walk away. Though it had been a few years since we experienced the first competition jitters, I still felt that not only has time been slipping away, but that my little Mini was growing up. I directed some of the other parents on where our girls would need to be, then of course felt horrible as I had to be the one to say "We can't go with them," Competition rule 1) Once Cheerleader is on the property she needs to say goodbye to mom and dad and be placed in the hands of the coaches.
We watched from the home side bleachers of Eustace, great field-bad seating, as our girls began to finish getting ready. We waited as the sun began to feel like it was melting us, waiting for the first girl to to complain. I even talked to mini but she remained in good spirits. As the Midgets were finally led off the field it was time for our girls to begin. It was then that we realized we may have a long wait.
While watching the other districts perform I can tell you as a parent, I would silently cheer at the deductions that I knew were happening. Though I knew I would feel bad for the other teams as they dropped a person or as they were just two seconds off on their routine, I was secretly glad for the point bump for our girls. While we were waiting for our girls to perform I ran into an old friend of mine from school. It has been 13 years since we last saw each other and though we were cheering for different teams now we were still able to catch up a little bit.
I have to brag on our girls again, not only did we all witness as they sat there waiting for their turn in the heat. As we watched the other teams and their antics, ours were perfect. (Not just bragging) It was finally time for our girls to perform. I had tears. They were so awesome, I hadn't gotten to see the whole competition performance since I had been working, but these girls did fantastic. They were all together, they were all on point. They were awesome. As we waited for the awards we noticed once again that our girls were still being well behaved. They made us all proud at this time. Just by the way they handled themselves. We have 9 teams that performed. 5 Teams would receive participation awards. (Yes everyone does get a trophy) When our girls were not announced among those teams us mom began to get the good vibes. We knew our girls had placed. When they girls didn't get 4th or 3rd we began to hold hands and get shaky. This left only two spots.
When they called second place our whole section of the crowd went crazy....We screamed, we hollered, we made fools of ourselves. We couldn't be prouder and then we laughed because our girls were looking at us like we all lost our minds. But then they made the announcement that we, as parents realized only moments before....

Our Girls Won Grand Champions!!!!!
That's right, we knew the moment the other team was named as 2nd place that our girls had just won 1st place. And as a parent seeing the excitement was more of a high than anything. We knew then that for at least awhile these girls were going to be very hard to deal with. (lol) These little girls showed us all not only how well they could behave, they showed us how they could should them all just what they could do. They were one of the largest groups but they proved they were the best.
With all this being said, these girls not only won that day but then went to the game that night, were their boys played and beat the team of the 2nd place. We proud of all of the teams but we were most proud of the energy our girls had. Now this week we get a week off since its rainy, But next weekend we are looking at another full weekend. I have to say I'm happy she enjoys it and I am looking forward to more cheer years.
Later Days

Mini the Cheerleader and Catch up

2014-10-01T19:41:00.001-07:00

Happy Middle of the week folks. Its me again. I know, I know, who else would it be on my blog? But you never know one day I may let Mini give you her opinion of how life should be going. But for tonight I'm gonna catch you up. First up, I'll start with this adorable picture to the left.
For those of you who know us, you are aware that Mini decided to be a cheerleader again. I'm not gonna lie, after the first go round I had some reservation about it but Roo and I are totally on board. We actually like this set of parents and they have made it fun for our sweet little girl. This past weekend was her homecoming weekend and unlike the first go round she got to escort a young football player on the field. I have to say though I love all photos of my sweet little Mini this is one of my favorites from that day. Though the first few photos I have you can tell she was a little nervous. It was greatness. But what was even better then her beautiful smile was that the boys won their home game. I know I always like to tell you how proud I am of her but she really has blossomed this year. Above you can see just how much she has grown. For most of those that have been following this blog and other blogs that I have had the pleasure of writing you literally been apart of her growing up. It's hard to believe just how much time has flown by with. So this weekend we will be finding ourselves back home. Well more to Roo's home. Our cheer competition this year is back at Roo's old high school. Thankfully once you graduate from the country you always remember how to get back there.
Now when I tell you that we have had fun with the parents, I really want to tell you about this group. These Cheer....Dads, yup that's what I said CheerDads, these dads are pretty awesome. 1st we are talking about a group of dads that if you saw them you may not believe me, but these guys are more then willing to get out there and make fools of themselves just to make these girls smile. Heck even during the games they entertain us Mamma's. It warms my heart that they aren't afraid to poke fun at themselves (and anyone else with in earshot) It's hard to meet people that you have stuff in common with and this group is kind of like one big family. Roo and one of the C-D's is above being goofs. Thankfully they have an awesome sense of humor and didn't get to upset of us poking fun of them. But once again I point out these guys are pretty awesome. I'll have some more stories about them I'm sure.

Since it's been awhile since I've written, well I don't actually know how long it's been but I'll catch you up pretty quickly. In the land of cubes, I have been feeling a little unappreciated. Yes I am aware that is apart of the business world but at times I still feel like I am being punished for things that were beyond my control. Though for the most part I try and succeed to ignore people. There are those that have taken some positions a little to their heads and don't realize that just because you have it doesn't mean you should flaunt it. I mean it can be lost as easy and quickly as it was given But what can you do? Yes, I am always looking for new opportunities, though right now everything is just rolling slow it seems.

Here at the little castle, Roo and I are still making some decision about the future. Things we want to work and things we know we have to accept. Basically it's pretty much the same, sometimes the hardest choices are actually the easiest. But that's for another blog. I did get to see my nephew last weekend. I wish I could see him more but like everything else life throws I was just happy to have him for the little bit I got to hold him. Mini worries that he won't like her, even though she repeats what I used to and still tell her "everyone that knows you, loves you. And those that don't, just don't know you yet" My Mini has a heart of gold she tends to worry often.

The Bestie update. It sucks when the kids are busy cause then it's hard to get together. One of the pair no longer works in magical land of cubes with us so it's sad. But other than that my other little nephew is just as adorable as ever. We got to seem him and he smiled and danced for me when I was holding him. I was so excited to get to pick him up again. Then with hour changing it's a little difficult to spend time with the bestie but you know it doesn't matter just knowing she's there helps.

Well that is pretty much it for now. We've got the fair on Monday and the Mini is taking a friend this year so I should have some fun stories for that. Good night Peeps and Later days.

An Oil Change and Some Entertainment/Saturday Night Lights

2014-08-31T10:32:00.001-07:00

Good Sunday Morning to all my faithful readers. For those of you on my Facebook I promised I would tell you about my fun trip to the dealership yesterday. But first a little back story. In 2012 I returned to work, my congratulations present was my 2013 Kia Rio. They didn't have blue so I went with white as seen. ------------------------------------------------------->

First let me say I love my car, gets good gas mileage. Since my surgery I haven't really driven it much and because of that I have to get it inspected. (Yes I know a little late?) My grandmother purchased a car from them on our recommendation so we got a service credit. The service credit is going to be mentioned several times so you may want to keep it in mind, lol.

Roo said lets get the oil changed and inspected before you go back. So that was the plan. Kia was running a special on an oil change, show on the website, you can also make an appointment on the site to get said oil change or whatever service you may need done. This information will also come in handy in just a moment. So Friday night I made the appointment for Saturday at 8:30 am. Yesterday was Mini's first football game of the season so we wanted to get everything done so we could have some time to relax.

Back to the Oil Change. We get to the dealership, walk in and our service rep comes over. Now the information is in Roo's name but the guy addresses me. (I didn't really want to go) I tell him we have an appointment for 8:30 he begins to talk pricing $99, I tell him that I am aware they are running a special as well as having the $100 service credit. We hand the keys over and go take a seat.

Mini likes to go because she can play on the computer so while she is playing Roo and I sat down while she played and began the wait on our car. Ken comes out and the following is the first aggravation of the day.

Ken: Mr and Mrs Vent could you please come with me?

we walk outside wondering what is going on.

Roo: Whats wrong?

Ken: Your tires are worn. (he points to the tires) see this? It's rubbing against inside and it's like this on all tires.

Roo: Ok so we will need to replace them?

Ken: Yes sir we really need to get this done.

Me: It's not going to happen today (I don't think I was heard at this point)

Roo: What will that run.

Ken: (kind of puts on that whole salesman routine of straightening up and adjusting his belt...he's about to piss me off) Well for a full set of tires it's gonna be 395, then to align and balance thats gonna be 89 then

Roo: So it's gonna be about $500?

Ken: Yes sir but it needs to be done, so I can get it

Me: No, it's not going to happen today, we don't have $500, what we have is a $100 service credit just do the oil change and rotate tires and we will get the rest this next week.

Ken: Well ma'am your inspection is out and with out tires you will not be able to get it inspected.

Me: I'm aware, I'll get this week.

Ken: Oh about that credit, we can't locate it. You will have to speak with a Sales Manager, I mean I'll write it up but there's not much we can do.

Roo and I go back inside and go to see about talking to the Sales manager. Now remember our appointment was at 8:30 am it's now about 8:45 so when I go and ask for the sales manager to help us we are told that they don't even come in until 9 am. (seeing a little red now)

Roo and I sit down for a bit waiting for sales manager to come in. As we wait Mini asks for some help on one of the computer games and then comes back. Once he is back beside me old Ken comes back. He sets to filters besides us and as we look at him the following is the conversation.

Ken: This is your air filters, this one (he points to a smaller one) is the in-dash it's going to be $39, this one (points to a bigger one) is the engine it's $59. They need to be changed.

Roo: Is one more important?

Ken: The engine filter really needs to be replaced. We haven't been able to see the credit

Me: Ok let me try this again, because apparently you didn't hear me. You have a $100 service credit, that's it.

Ken: I can not locate it, typically they send you a cardboard like coupon. And this is just $39 and $59.

Me: I understand so I'll say it this way. Please stay with. (I'm a little upset by this point) I have been out of work, He (pointing to Roo) is carrying the weight, We (gesturing between Roo and I) have a $100 service credit that you can't seem to find, You tell us that we have to pay $500 for tires and when I say it can't happen you then want me to pay $39 and $59 on two air filters, oh and because you can't find a credit I have to go talk to a Sales Manager and yet you neglected to tell us that they don't even come in til 9 and well we have some time. All I want is what we came in for which is the oil change, tire rotation, air filter ect. everything that is running on the special. Again you have $100 make it work.

Ken: I'm sorry ma'am I wont bother you again.

He picks up the filters and stomps back to the back. I am upset by this point because though it needs to happen I feel like this man is trying to push up on us for more money. I wasn't lying I didn't have it to give. When I talk to the sales manager low and behold they were able to locate the credit. They apologize for our hassle and go to speak with the gentle man. A little bit later Ken comes back to tell us that we are good to go but that he still recommends the tires tells me I need to sign this paper stating that I am taking my car against recommendation. Though I know I shouldn't have I signed it. I did find tires cheaper but didn't say anything. When we left I was looking over everything and then discovered that they didn't even rotate the tires or put in the filter, you have the credit, you tell me this is what we need and yet you refuse use it to fix the issue. Anyway this was my fun trip to Southwest Kia Rockwall. Though I love the sales staff, this man left little to be desired.

Now as for our Saturday Night Lights. It was hot as hell people, but we waited like good parents and got to see some cute performances. Our boys won their first game against the Quinlan Panthers and of course our Mini was the beautiful little cheerleader. I was so proud of her. Well happy Sunday....

The power of Change

2014-08-23T20:11:00.001-07:00

Well hello there to all my faithful readers, I hope that as we approach a new school year I wanted to talk to you for a moment about something that scares the living hell out of all us. Change.

It's funny in away that out of all the words in the English language this is the one that has the ability to make us feel anxiety, joy, fear, sadness and so forth and yet we don't refer to it as the ugly six letter word like we do most cuss words. We use the word to continually help us get our thoughts and points across. The last few years for my family have seen many changes. We have learned to adapt to our environment even though all we wanted to do was crumble to the floor and weep.

As society has taught us Change is all about adapting, of course social media allows us and outlet to express our thoughts and opinions on how this six letter word makes us feel. For many of us that work with in the magical land of cubes, we express our frustrations over how one group of people can drastically change the way we do business. And how that change affects each and everyone of us. For the most part we are aware that we must adapt but at the same time we have that small resistance that the change they believe is for the better may actually hinder our work process.

For parents this six letter word is significant, every year, every month, every week, every day our children are changing. They are growing, they are adapting to their surroundings. I am so proud of Mini, she is one of my greatest treasures and yet the fact that she is getting older terrifies me. She is so smart and she has such a loving and trusting heart that I know that the first time she truly faces heartbreak it will also crush me as well. No I do not look forward to that day. This year will be her last in elementary school, yes she will be there for a while but this will be the last time she will walk through those doors for the first day of school. She has grown up so much over the years. She has faced many challenges and changes with a smile and again I couldn't be prouder. Our children are our future, well that and technology.

Change happens all around us every day.

In the small towns I live in, I see it everyday and I wonder if it's really for the better. We will be getting some bigger businesses which will of course generate more revenue and more jobs for our community it can also make those that live here feel like the once small town is growing to become a bigger town and is that really what we want? I do of course only because growth can be a positive thing though right now it's the thought of the unknown that puts fear into people and I think right there is what Change means to many.

Sometimes we take to much on ourselves and we don't know how to get out from under the mountain of obligations. Sometimes we are so focused on making things better for ourselves and our children that we lose focus of whats important. Then we tell ourselves that we are going to make Changes and that we will change how we look at things. Hmmm not really sure that this will happen but it's nice to be delusional every once and while.

Loved ones make changes in their lives to live better, they make a choice to quit or to begin something so that they can become better. Well good luck to them, I mean this. Every day I try to make a small change in my life. I recognize that it will be scary and that it will be tough but at the same time Momma and Daddy always said if your not happy with how things are going then change it.

This six letter word that has the power to literally bring us to our knees also has the power to bring us happiness, we give words all sorts of powers we place emphasis on words that can show us our weaknesses or can provide us strength. So as you read this and then think about it just remember yes it can be scary but it can also be the best thing in life. But don't let anyone talk you out of making that change you may want to make in your life.

Be the Change that makes the world a better place.

Later days peeps

Surgery & Recovery

2014-07-29T12:09:00.001-07:00

Happy Tuesday all my faithful readers. I write to you today in bed (I know that's not really new) but today's bed rest is brought to you by the good Doc's orders from recovery. Last Thursday, Roo and I got up early to go up to the Hospital. My surgery day had finally arrived. There was a small part of me that wanted to change my mind, scared that my husband would look at me differently or that I would feel less that what I am. But after a few deep breathes I realized that this was something I needed. True I had come to this decision several days before, a few weeks before that and again a few months before that, but that will happen to a person before they go through the surgery.
The good doctor told Roo that I was a text book procedure. Me? Well that didn't really tell me anything or if they did I wouldn't remember. We got to the hospital bright and early, got checked in then it was off to get uncomfortable. The sweet nurse told me to take it all off and get in the gown. (I hate those gowns) Of course any time I have to have something done or even be in one of those stupid gown I have to go to the rest room, it never fails. So there I go holding the back closed so no one can see my backside. I come back to get comfy and the nurse comes in to say "I'll need you to sign a waiver, since you already went to the restroom" I didn't know that was something you weren't supposed to do She then decided that it was time to explain that it was ordered for me to take a pregnancy test needless to say I signed the waiver. Have you ever had an I.V of Saline?
Well first off it makes you whole arm cold. Then it always makes me, have to go to the restroom, I know again. While the sweet nurse was helping me, I could not hold my I.V. and the back of my outfit fully closed, I offered to take her pregnancy test, you know in case they really needed it. She laughed. I'm glad she laughed. Roo stayed with me until they said it was time to go and then I was out. I'm a great patient like that. I don't fight the medicine I just let it go through me. Then of course it was time to wake up.
The man yelled at me....Well ok I'm sure he didn't yell but to my befuddled brain it sure did sound that way. The male nurse in recovery asked what he could get me. "I just want my Roo." he looked around and asked if thats a stuffed animal. "No husband." and I closed my eyes again. When I came to next it was to see my Roo and my Mini. I was so happy she asked how I felt I think I told her I wasn't sure but I know I asked where Papa was. Roo went back to get my dad and the nurse fed me some ice chips.
Going to the room was a fun experience as the transporter managed to hit every bump, but he was so nice I really didn't care.
I've grown up around Baylor Hospital. I am very proud of the fact that my family has worked there for most of my life at one time or another and this visit was no different. They took excellent care of me. The nurses were sweet and very helpful. Mini even got to come and visit me on Friday they said I was doing really well. I got up to walk and even begged for a shower. Gigi stayed with me Friday night, and the staff loved her so much they made sure that she had her own food Saturday morning.
Coming home was something I did with a little fear as I have dogs and I was worried that they would try to jump on me but even they seem to have known and have been real easy.
The fear that my love would look at me differently or feel that I was no longer whole is something that is in the back of my mind but the reality that he wants me to be out of pain and wants what is best for me is right here. The surgery was saying goodbye to a part of me and the recovery is making me better. It's not an easy road and so far the recovery has been almost perfect but I am willing to do what I need to get better.
So I will keep you posted as I continue to rest and recoup.
Later days

Birthdays and Surgery

2014-07-15T11:56:00.001-07:00

So quite a bit has happened since I last posted. We kicked off June by celebrating my dad's birthday. It was a good day. Not a lot went on that way just playing it low key but it was nice to spend the time together. We then of course celebrated once again for fathers day. Another low key day for both dad and Roo, it was a day of rest for a bigger part of it. I think the guys enjoyed their day, Mini was at the in-laws so it was just
Roo and I. Next it was my turn to celebrated a birthday. We kicked it off with breakfast with the parents then it was time to party with the Bestie, who just happened to be celebrating too. It was a good night and fun was of course had by all. Even if I was a little drunk (which I don't do very often.) After the birthday fun we went to the lake for the 4th of July. The girls had a great time camping with Papa and Gigi, they got to swim and then make smore's Mini was so happy to have a friend with her. And though I missed Roo not making it, we all made the best of it and another good time was had by all. The main thing was to just spend some time away for a few days.

The excitement hasn't stopped there though. Mini started Cheer again. I know, I know after the last time I swore it would never happened again but she had friends doing it and then she begged so we broke down. So far she has had a packed summer and I haven't really seen to much of her lol, which I guess happens as they get older. The fun hasn't stopped, last week she got to spend sometime with Nanny and her cousins. She's a pretty blessed kid, she loves her family and always likes when they get to come down for a visit. This past week was no different. The girls had a blast going to the splash park. Mini doesn't really need a pool she says just as long as she has water. I would love to have that outlook again. Everything was so simple.

Then it was time for another great birthday... My nephew was born. Mini is happy that she has another little one in her life. Eventually I'll share his picture and introduce you all to this handsome little man but like most things in life I want to keep him private for a little while longer. But needless to say he is fantastic and Boo and S-I-L are over the moon for him as are the rest of the family.

So now it brings me to today's big news. I will be having a partial hysterectomy. This was actually decided back in May but I have been trying to get everything in order and get the excitement of birthdays and holidays behind me. I have suffered with pains for years and it has only progressed and gotten worse. After talking to Roo both of us decided that this was a good next step. So it was time to speak with the doctor. At first I figured he would be resistant due to my age. Thankfully he was on my side and agreed that this would be the best path for me. So after some shifting and moving around we settled on a date and viola I will be having surgery.

Well that is pretty much what has been going on so far. I'll of course keep you posted

Later Days

Mini Update/Memorial Day It's Bigger then this

2014-05-26T18:08:00.002-07:00

Well hello to all my faithful readers. I hope that this month is treating you well. First off I want to tell you that this school year is almost over. Soon my sweet Mini will be in the 4th grade. I cringe when I say this because she is just getting to big. I am so proud of the young lady that she is becoming. This has been another big year for her.She has found some really good friends, she has made new friends. And once again she has shown what a big heart she has. Her field trip included Ball Park in Arlington. She is now obsessed
with the idea of going to a Rangers Game. So we are looking forward to that. Well ok then now on to the next part of the blog today.

Happy Memorial Day!!!!

Isn't odd that we say Happy Memorial Day, when this day is really anything but happy. This day is to remind us about those that gave their lives so that we can remain in the land of the free. We celebrate this day every year on the last Monday of May. Many people realize and understand the importance of the day while others see it as a day to get off work. This day was originally called Decoration Day. The importance of the day was to commemorate, not celebrate, both the Union and Confederate soldiers who died in battle. Though it seems a little selfish to only remember those soldiers who died during that time, by the 20th Century others agreed and made the day to extend to all Americans who died as they served in our military.

Many will go and visit the graves of those soldiers many will visit those graves of those they hold dear and they will question their sacrifice, but then again there will be some that will not understand the significance of all that has taken place to keep Americans safe. There are people out there that want to protest and that want to say what horrible way people are treating our soldiers. They don't see behind the curtain. They don't see the fact that our soldiers are volunteering to protect us. They are literally stating that they will defend our lives with their own, should they need to. They do not go into it for the money, they do not go into it for the glory as many that have and will continue to fight will never been mentioned in the a history book. They will be hero's to their families. They will be hero's to their hometowns, but for the rest of the world they will sadly go unknown.

Do our brave men and women get treated awesomely? No, they do not. They get the shaft in pay and respect. They are one of the first to get the pay cut and the ones to go unthanked for their service and yet they still do it. They still wake up on the daily and put on the suite for their daily round of lets protect the innocent, the weak, and sadly the even the ignorant. We put a lot of faith in those who have protected us with their lives and yet at the same time we don't stand behind them.

Some people state that they are standing up for our soldiers. They are only protesting the war due to the treatment but has anyone of them chose to stand behind them. They are our front line and we need to be their back line. We need to support them and to show them that we have their backs. We do not have to agree why they are fighting but we need to be grateful for the fact that they have selflessly chose to defend our country.

So to me this day is not actually happy it is a day to remember why we are here. It serves as a reminder of the freedoms that we fought to keep and that we won the rights too. It serves as a day to say thank you to those that lost their lives to keep us safe. For our ancestors who chose to stand up and fight, they may have fought for the wrong side, the wrong reason, the wrong everything, but they died for a cause. They died for something they believed in and today is so much bigger then what people actually understand. It's a day to remember its a day to take that one breath of relief that someone chose to fight for us. That they continue to fight. So once again today is to say thank you.

Thank you for those that came before. Thank you to those that have come during and thank you to those that will come after. Though I do not wish death on anyone I am very thankful for those that have done something that I myself can not. They gave their lives, whether it was willingly or not they still have had hand in keeping myself and my family safe and for that I am grateful.

Later Days

Another Mothers Day Coming Up

2014-05-03T19:59:00.000-07:00

Hey there to all my faithful readers. Look to the baby on the right, So small, so innocent so full of something. Looking at this little bundle of pink and girl you would never know that she would grow up to be at times indecisive, but strong willed. This little bundle would grow to become someone who believes in magic but also knows that reality sometimes has a way of sneaking up on you. She will grow up to believe that her parents are superhero's and that her mom will become her best friend.

She will face hardships and make choices and decisions that she will later question but will remain strong and believe that they were the right decisions. She will be fair with in her education and grow up to realize the fact that she is not defined but what she was able to learn. This little bundle of goodness will grow to learn that love is one of the greatest treasures that one can find. She will watch with awe as her parents show that even with the messiness it is worth it. She's going to grow up realizing that all the struggles and issues she will face as a kid and awkward teenage were just trials and perpetration for the future. This girl is going to grow up to smile through the pain and to learn to laugh at the ridiculousness of the world. She's going to learn who she is and she's going to learn that she can become anyone she wants to be. She's going to find that special person and realize that all the boys she based her opinions on were just showing her that she was made for something more. She is going to test the patience of those around her but show she is so worth the battle. This little girl is going to love with everything she has and then she's going to fall in love right at the moment she thinks it's never going to happen. But before you think that she grows up to fall in love with a man who shows her kindness and makes her smile I should also clarify. Though she will find the man of her dreams she's actually going to fall in love at least two more times in her life. The first time she will become the mother of a pernicious little one who will have her daddy wrapped around her finger. She will struggle to make sure that she can live up to the example that was her own mother. She will worry and make wild plans for the future. She will stand firm and refuse to back down when questioned. She will keep her safe and make sure that she knows she is loved by all. She will hope that her little one sees her as the super hero she saw her own mother. The next time she will fall in love she will also experience a heart break. Most people will experience this with that first love. I'm pretty sure she would have too but she will know the true meaning of a broken heart. But with the love and hand holding she will become stronger. Knowing that she will not be given any trial that she can not handle she will face it with a humor and belief that everything happens for a reason.

But by just looking at the picture, just looking at the newborn baby you wouldn't know how her life is going to go. You don't know that as a mom you're going to get see and help shape this young person. Your going to be able to see the trials and struggles that they believe are so earth shattering that all you can do is take a deep breath and wait for the world to stop. As a mom you're going to be loved and disliked as your young one grows. Your going to want to and ask those most important question "Why can't I just start over" but at the same time feel blessed that they are apart of this life. You will cry with her and you will fight with her. And she this little bundle grows to be a woman she will thank you every year for not holding that pillow a little tighter. She will know that everything you have done is only to help her to become better.

Since I am the little bundle of fluff in the above picture I can tell you that though I questions myself most days as a mom I am extremely thankful for the opportunity to be a mom. I could not imagine my life with the out the little bundle of light below. She is my mini and though we could not keep her sister I am still the proud mother of two beautiful little girls. As Mothers day is coming up I can tell you that I am thankful that my mother is my best friend. She has taught me how to be a mom. So for the little bundle of bliss below I hope that she will grow to be everything that I have become.

I do not wish for her to face some of the same things that I have but if she should I hope that she will be able to make the right choices. I hope that she gets to experience the love that I have found and I hope she continues keep the smile that brightens up the room. She is my life. So happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there. Don't be in a rush to have your little ones grow up. And for those that are judging their children or making those plans based on a picture, don't be so quick to try and figure it out. Let them live and just show them that you love them, I may not be a brain surgeon but my parents are proud of me just the way I am.

A Mothers Worry/Mini's Day

2014-04-24T19:35:00.002-07:00

I love this picture I took today. Mini is so cute even when I know she is in pain. "A picture is worth a thousand words" they say. And looking at this picture I know that it is true. To many it just looks like she's not real happy and may it shows that her mouth is slightly swollen. To me and her dad it tells a slightly different story. Mini had to go to the dentist a while back. We learned on that visit that one of the caps that they placed in when she was really little was just loose enough that it was not allowing her to get to it when she brushed. Due to this and the fact that it was literately hanging on by a gum (half of it was disconnected from the gum) the dentist suggested that it be removed. "No problem" we said and Roo set up the date. Unfortunately we then learned that on the day she was set to have this tooth removed she was also supposed to have STAAR testing at school. Now I have many feelings toward this test, none of them very good, but I am still dutifully standing behind our teachers, anyway I digress. We had to change the appointment, we thought we would have a little time and all would be well as they were giving her antibiotics for the small infection. Then last Friday night there was some worry. Her tongue was swollen, she couldn't swollen and she was scared. So the second picture that tells another story is the one here where she was at the E.R. she wasn't sure what was going on and then again neither were we. Now as a mother I can tell you that I often skip some worries, mainly because I know that our children will have the regular bumps and bruises as they play. I know that they will become sick from time to time. But when it comes to her being really sick, like not being able to swallow, well I tend to become a little more worried over that kind of thing. So after speaking with her Gigi, and letting her try to take some medicine for a bit to see if it would go down we found ourselves at the new E.R.. Of course Roo and I spent a few minutes trying to decide what nationality her doctor was. Not for any other reason then he had a really cool accent. I still say Russian. Again neither here or there.
It turned out that night that the small infection from her tooth ended up being a little bigger deal then what we originally thought and it was causing her lymph-nodes to swell. So it was on with the stronger meds and with the fact that it was no longer a small issue it was time that this tooth actually come out. So first thing Monday I made the call to reschedule and make this happen. So today was the day. We waited a few days so she could take that stupid test again but this morning it was off to the dentist to have the offending tooth pulled. So like I said the picture above tells me a pretty big story. It tells me how sick she was and how brave she was. They gave her the cotton candy gas so that they could pull it. The downside was that they asked for us to wait outside so that they could pull the tooth. She said she didn't feel a thing and then a little later on she began feel it. Bless her, she was so ready to have it over with that she was just ready. I don't know how she remained so calm but I was so proud of her.
As a her mother I do tend to over worry but during the procedure she was great, afterward she was good a little groggy but she was aware of everything around her and they said that was a good sign. We had to run a few errands and by the time we got home she was tired and ready to take some medicine. She then decided that it was time for a nap and she slept for quite a bit. So again that picture tells me so much. It tells me that though she went through all of this she was still happy. It tells me that she is strong and brave, all things that we knew, but most of all it tells me that my daughter is beautiful even in pain. It tells us of everything we have been through with her this past week and reminds me that even when she's in pain she keeps her sense of humor. Both of these pictures also remind me that I am her mother and that as her mother my worry does not stop just because she suddenly feels fine. It does not end when I think she is finally asleep peacefully. It continues and will continue as she grows. See my Mini is not sick very often but when she is the world will and does crumble around her. She is like her sister, she touches everyone in a different way. Her heart is as good as gold, This little girl is very much loved and though I will continue to share her fun stories and wonder at times why I have not hurt her just yet I can tell you that this little one owns my heart.
So have fun my friends and thank you once again for being with us.

Birthday's and Fun Parties

2014-04-14T10:49:00.004-07:00

Once upon a time you could have a birthday party with you friends and have cake and ice cream and call it a day. Of course as I've gotten older I realize that my parents quite possibly went through the same routine as I have. In fact I think that they may have went through the same tortuous waiting and planning, worrying that their sweet little girl wouldn't have a happy birthday. This is something that I believe that all parents go through. When I was a kid I didn't realize how everything behind the scenes worked. See me ----------------------------------->
Aren't I cute? First I must point out, yes Mini looks like me except that I have darker hair. The smile is still the same. I also must point out that that is a Strawberry Shortcake cake sadly she is older then what must people believe. Again not the point. That was what I would have believed one of the best parties. We had a pool in the backyard it was summer it was great. Now as an adult I have realized that my child-like definition of simple may be way off. Being a parent can be tough. Being a parent on a budget...Well I have even more respect for mine. I always say that pulling off a great party is like performing Magic. We worry until the day of and then we are able to take a deep breath of relief when we realize that once again we are their hero's or shero's of our childs eyes and then we move onto the "how do we top this"
Bella's 1st birthday was at home. She overstuffed on cake but had a good time. Her 2nd birthday we celebrated at an indoor bounce house it was also Easter so she was an Easter baby and she had so much fun.When she turned 3 I think she was pretty low key cause strangely none of us can actually remember what we did lol. Her 4th birthday was spent once again home were we rented a bounce house and she again had fun. on these parties were not that expensive I think that the most I had spent by this time was about $200 all total on a party for fun.
Her 5th birthday was Chuck E Cheese my amazing surprise that it was a little more expensive this year. Couldn't believe that people would charge you for the happiness of your children. She did have fun which is always a good thing. When she turned 6 I had threaten Roo that he had to be home for her birthday since he was working California at the time. Again saved some money and enjoyed her party at home. When she turned 7, her sister had just passed and we really wanted to keep it low key. I didn't think I could handle all the strain and pressure on the party thing so thankfully my beautiful little Mini chose to spend it at Medieval Times, we had a great time. It was nice just having the family around. I was great full that she decided that we could keep it just us, I mean could you image the price tag on that one? Last year she turned 8 and I wanted to make up for the previous year so we once gain let her pick her venture. Once again the money spent was actually not that bad. Mini wanted to bowling and play games. What was the perfect place? Shenaniganz, she had an awesome time and we were once again the coolest parents ever. But once again I ran into a small problem. Now I would have to top this some way some how. I always ask Mini to decide what she wanted to do and she did not disappoint. She wanted to have a Spa Party....
Now many parents wonder why I would be willing to let my child to choose her theme. Well because it is her birthday and she gets to choose. Then of course I am struck with a small issue she not only wants a spa party but she wants these girls to spend the night. Now what to do....I won't use my own home (not getting into that) I don't want to use my parent's home cause that's gonna be a lot of mess...hmmm what to do. Then it hit me, I told Mini that I would agree to her party but there would be stipulations. I would agree to this slumber party and will hold said slumber party at the local hotel but she would have to scale down her list. Mini was agreeable and we began to plan. For this party I would need a plan Needed a cool cake, needed some cool goodies and then needed something other stuff to do. The cake was done by Kimberly and Loren's Sweet Treats https://www.facebook.com/LorensSweetTreats These ladies did a wonderful job and the birthday girl was so happy. The case was vanilla (I know you may think it's boring but it was her choice) The case was delicious and it was beautiful. Next were the cookies that they made the girls got a kick out of those. Since the whole thing was "No Boys Allowed" her daddy made two signs for the hotel room that welcomed all that came by. The take home goodies? A robe with their names,flip flops, drinking glasses,hand towels (with princesses on them) homemade soap and night masks oh and some lotions. The lotions were going to be homemade to be honest I ran out of time and energy. I refuse to go into price on this one but I'll say that it was way more when all was said and done. The girls arrived to music. Got to test their robes then it was time to begin. It was facials, pedicures,and tattoos. Thanks to the awesomeness of her BFF's mom (we will call her "Photo-Mom" as I have not gotten permission to let her name out.) She assisted in everything. She was greatness and really made me realize that even though I had the general idea planned and of course the sweets I was sooo not ready for the next phase. Entertaining these sweet girls. She helped with getting them

to dance and played some egg hunting games. We took random pictures then to the park to play and some icecream before coming back and settling in for the Princess Bride and bed time. Once again my sweet little girl told me I was the best mommy ever. Through all of my fretting and of course money spending my little girl had a great time. The girls wake up for breakfast and more fun while they get to watch Frozen. Now as I tell you this I forget to mention that I am so tired. My body is sore and I have made a startling discovery I am not as young as I used to be and sadly I don't think I will be moving in the very near future. Oh and not only did Mini have her big day but one of her besties one of the girls at the party, (yea) is also having a party and it was done on the very next day. So it was off to home for some napping then it was Roo's turn to be the awesome parent. As I literally feel like my legs are going to fall off Roo said he would take one and go to the next party. So there was man taking one for the team. lol, I know it sounds funny but I haven't even told why I say he took the bullet as far as dads are concerned. That's right folks. My man attended an all girl party to the glamours and fabulous SWWET & SASSY. Now that she has had all this fun Mini is home not feeling well.. My sweet little Mini had a little to much sugar and of course the weather changing so she is home not feeling to well. Oh well I would say that it was pretty much worth it in her eyes. So until next year's great birthday debate.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINI

YOU ARE THE STARS

IN MY SKY

Its March already?

2014-03-18T17:38:00.001-07:00

Have you ever realized how quick life can pass by? Better yet have you looked up and realized you may have missed something? Yea me either lol. Hello to all my faithful readers I am sorry I have not written in a while. Once again I have been plagued with writers block well and sickness. Sophia's birthday passed by this year and though it was still a time of sadness it was not a heartbreaking as last year. Now that's not to say it's easier but the pain was more manageable. Roo would not let me stay in bed or in the house this year. The idea was that we spend it as a family and we enjoy it so that is just what we did. We took Mini bowling for her sisters birthday this year. It was important for her and all of us to celebrate this day. I am told that every year will be different and that little by little it will get easier. I'm not so much for the easy part but I can see where I can breath more fully.

So Mini has a best friend. I'm really excited she got to have her first sleep over a few weeks ago. I can't say enough good things about the BestFriend. She is sweet and well mannered. Her parents are awesome as well and for me that is a big plus as I tend to be very picky about parents. It's not that I don't want Mini to have friends its just that I want her friends parents to be like me, almost. I want them to know that I don't feel like its the end of the world if she gets a scrape. If the girls wanna go play in dirt, well then they just need to be hosed down. Kids are kids and now a days I feel like they have lost that part. I feel like some people are encouraging their children to grow up to fast and with Mini I just want her to be the child that she needs to be. I want to encourage her to increase her knowledge and I want to educate her on any subject she is will to learn but at the same time I want her to know that it's ok to be silly and to play dress up and barbies. I want her to know that she doesn't have to be in a rush to grow up and that its good to be a kid. So after her spring break I am hoping that she will get to spend more time making plans with her friends.

So the other thing in life is in the Land of Cubes. As you know I work in the Magical Land of Cubes where everyone is with in a face slap distance away. And for some strange reason everyone feels the need to continuously come into work sick. With this being said I have been sick quite a bit here lately. And it has really sucked. But after blood work and a doctor visit they discovered that I have been dehydrated since I was typically am unable to fully rest I continued to push forward and keep moving which of course resulted in my having to have fluids by I.V. that of course was today. Though my arm was still cold for quite awhile I can say that I feel better then I had been feeling for awhile now. I can also say that I still hate having a needle placed in my arm. But hopefully this will help me get over this stupid cold. The other thing I would like to look into is photography I would like to try my hand, Now all I have to do is convince Roo that I really want to do it. I'll keep you posted on how that one goes. I just want to start doing something fun.

There is still so much to say and to catch up on but as I am growing sleepy I am thinking that right now may not be the best time to go into everything. So I shall say goodnight and thanks for being a part of my family

Merry Christmas/End of the Year Catch Up

2013-12-29T15:49:00.000-08:00

Hey there, hi there, ho there to all my faithful readers. This has been another year for the books. It's strange but I am grateful that this year is coming to an end. The last few years have been, hmmm. Well they haven't been been all that great but like every I do enjoy sharing so I figured I would first recap this year before we finally say good bye to 2013 and ring in the next year.

I'm going to start with April. When Mini turned 8, she wanted a bowling party so we took and some of her friends to go bowling. The kids had a blast bowling and playing laser tag. She said it was something she would want to do again. From her turning 8 to the summer, Roo and I worked on our next adventure. We took her down to the river with Papa and Gigi. She had such a good time. I will tell you I was worried about that trip since I wasn't sure how she would do on the water. The water shoot was her favorite part. Then we went shopping in Fredricksburg and of course at the best little candy store in Texas. (that was my favorite part) Of course I enjoyed being with my family. After the passing of Sophia I learned that family is even more important. They keep you from losing your self even when you don't know its about to happen. Our Family vacation was a chance for us to spend

that time together. We enjoyed the sights and enjoyed just being away from everything. Then it was back home and time to start getting ready for the new year. And as most of you know our world was rocked once again.... At the end of August my Pop passed away leaving us all to once again find our way out of a dark tunnel. Mini once again showed us her strength and courage as she got up and spoke to a room full of people. She reminded us that for being so young she has some really strong shoulders. And Roo once again got to help hold me up when I wasn't sure how to stand. Though the family agreed this was better for him we have been feeling our way around trying to get the right grip. But like he always said, we have to live so it was on to the next phase. Mini started the 3rd grade. Her smile can light

up a room when she really wants it to. She has been doing an awesome job in school. She got her first C for her progress report but she brought it back up. She joined Choir and UIL this year. (story telling, if you can believe it). I was so proud to hear her sing she has a wonderful voice and she is such a ham, I can't wait until she try out for drama. I've been told I've been holding her a little close but right now I just don't know any other way to be. She deserves so much and even the things she doesn't have she accepts. Of course, before we knew it was time to do our annual Halloween fun. I think Mini and I look forward to this almost a little more then Roo but we found some really cool masks this year. Sadly we didn't do the full dress up but its only cause this year has been like living half ass. But we still made sure that Mini enjoyed herself. So for Halloween this year I dressed up and so did mini we went out trick or treating and as she states she cleaned up. Now I didn't get a lot of pics but I'm just glad she had a great time. During this time some things changed and we met new friends. (And I didn't have to pay 'em woop woop) Now you haven't heard a lot about them cause I haven't gotten names for them. And just like everyone in my life I feel that they didn't sign up to be actually wrote about so I'm working on. But Roo and I both feel like they were put in our lives at a time when we needed it most. Its crazy but there it is. Also this year Roo and I got dressed up and went to my company Christmas Party. We had a really good time but again I think that has to do with the people you are with. Now here we are after Christmas and about to start a new year and I have recapped quite a bit but I want to make some inspirational statements like I normally do. Well at least

I think they are. 1st I learned this last year that people are truly put in your life when you need it most. You may meet someone and not be really sure about them but then you learn that, that person is going to help change your point a view for the better. They are going to meet and match you whether it be in friendship or in love and they are going to be the ones that are going to be there for the long haul. I have met several of these people while working in the Land of Cubes and though I may not say it everyday I am grateful that I have had a chance to get to know you. I am thankful that you have taken the chance to know me and that we can get along so well, and my hope is that as new friends come and old friends my go that I've left big enough impression on you that when you think of me you know you are stuck in my heart..
2nd This year, though you didn't hear much from me my faithful readers was hard on me. The first year of not having our little girl and also trying to show Mini that she is not forgotten. A year of more tears and sadness but also a year to reconnect with family even those you don't really want to connect to. Letting go of some old feelings because you know its what you should.We had an angel this year that helped make our little girls Christmas so much brighter, and though this angel will remain unsaid, they will honestly never know just what they did for us. They took a time that I wasn't sure how was going to go and blessed us and because of that we were able to make sure she was reminded of the greatness of the Holiday season. I found a picture of her from her 1st Christmas. From then to now she has just grown so much and I am so blessed that I have her.

So, whats next for us? Well this year I am not making any great promises. I'm going to try work on those small things that Roo and I have been working toward. I'm going to make sure that Mini has another wonderful year and I'm going to enjoy the time I get to spend with my family and my friends. I am so blessed that Roo and I are still going strong and I am thankful that he still loves me even through all the sadness. I'm going to enjoy being 31 and Roo and I are going to quit being homebodies and thanks to some great people we are working on getting out more. So thats it. I'll of course keep you updated cause thats what I do and it helps my head not to hurt as much...But we both have decided it's time to live, something that some how we forgot at some point.

Later Days

Being Scammed For the Holidays

2013-11-28T18:29:00.001-08:00

It's funny after all the posts and the glimpses into my life I've given you this seems to be the hardest one. My family and I have been through quite a bit. Roo and I have made choices that most may or may not understand. Everything we have done has been to try and better not only ourselves but to provide a better life for Mini. The death of one child makes you, as a parent, cherish the life of another but with that comes the hard aches of not feeling good enough.
People do not know all of the actual struggles that we have endured because I have become extremely good about putting on a happy face. I have been careful to not reveal much due to the fact that somethings are just not talked about and yet I have a disclaimer. ---------->
Well folks like I said this is the hardest post because I have to admit that even I can be wrong. Even I can be too trusting and fall for something. The holiday season is upon on us and there are so many changes that my family must face yet again. This is the second holiday that our little Sophia will miss out, this is the first holiday that my grandfather will not be apart of us. Roo and I are struggling with bills due to repairs and things that break down. We are in fact very normal in our life. So here is what has happened....
We have been victims to a theft. Again this is not an easy story to tell so please bare with me as we are definitely not proud or excited about what has happened. We applied for a loan to help out during the holidays and to assist with a few of the major bills that due to home repairs we acquired more then the normal billing. We applied with GE Capital Bank. Roo was contacted and told he was approved, we believed that after several years of nothing but bad luck and sorrow that we were finally getting a break and that our prayers were answered. Boy were we wrong. The gentleman that contacted him first was named Derek. He stated that Roo had been approved for a substantial amount and that we would be able to make small monthly payments over the next few months. A loan like this would help improve his credit, Roo told him he would need to speak with me, yes we are one of those strange couples who talk about everything, and he then got back to him and agreed.
Again we believed at the time we were speaking with GE Capital. This week on our vacation and on the time of Thanksgiving holiday we learned a very valuable lesson, even smart people will fall for a something when they believe they have no other choice. Roo contacted the number provided and a new gentleman George told him that Derek was out. George then told him that he would assist Roo with the transaction, after speaking to him for a bit George then told him their system would not allow them to verify anything with our account. He instructed Roo to place money on a MoneyPak so that they could see the money was holding and available. After following directions, again hold all your yelling at the stupidity until the end, Roo contacted GE back. This time he spoke to a Michael that stated that he could see the funds and that loan would be transferred in to our acct with in 45 min at the latest. Hours went by and no money, we contacted the bank and no transfer has taken place. We contacted GE and they assured him that everything was fine and that it had gone through.
As Roo and I began to discuss things some things started to push forward in our minds. I began to do some research, which if I had been thinking before I would have done and we would have been in better shape. I learned that GE Capital Bank is fully aware of this scam, they are so aware that they have a disclaimer on their website that reads:

Important!
Urgent Advisory: DO NOT provide your Walmart MoneyCard or MoneyPak information to callers. GE Money Bank is now GE Capital Retail Bank. We do not offer personal loans to be loaded on Walmart MoneyCard or MoneyPak and would never ask you to load money on a card product in order to qualify for a loan. If someone has called you stating they are from GE Money Bank or GE Capital Retail Bank and asked you to load money on a MoneyPak or Walmart MoneyCard in order to obtain a loan, DO NOT provide them with your information and please contact your local authorities. If you believe you have been a victim, in addition to contacting local authorities, you may visit www.ftc.gov for more information.

After I found this on the GE website I literally felt my heart drop. Nobody ever wants to admit that the gift or miracle they thought that they were receiving wasn't a gift or miracle after all. So Roo called back. We first checked the cards and sure enough the money they held was gone So when he called back he was told that Michael was in a meeting and would call him back shortly. Shortly ended over an hour later. I called back and the didn't give any information but that I had received a call from this number, the gentleman stated that he was Michael and proceeded to tell me, as another person, that the refund that I requested would not arrive for 20-30 days. When I explained who I was he then tried to blame us for the funds not being there and then started to tell me how if we just continue to wait they would be available along with the funds from the MoneyPak. We went over several items the main thing being that I now knew this for a scam, which he never did deny but he continued to stated the funds would be there.
We contacted the police and an very nice officer came out and took my statement. By this time we both understood what had happened. We were feeling so blessed that something was finally going right for us that we didn't question the things that we would normally question. Like the fact that never once did they state we were on a recorded line. Never once did they state he would need to sign a contract. We were just blind. Roo contacted MoneyPak so that he could see if we could learn where the money was unloaded. Because they have it on the card that they are not responsible for theft, they are of course willing to work with law enforcement since they stated that anyone who was using them to commit fraud they would like to prosecute. The officer basically said that even though we were able to provide a phone number the likeliness of catching this person is none and we would never get our money back.
And once again I cried, not necessarily for the money, I mean this guy taught us a very valuable lesson, I cried because for years we have worked hard. We have struggled, but we have worked hard to provide something good for our daughter, we have been faced with one small tragedy after another and we have kept our heads up. We have used everything thing that we have faced as a new challenge to better ourselves. We have more then stood by the whole for Poorer thing in our wedding vows. We have grown together and suffered through our bad choices from earlier in our marriage and yet this one thing was able to break us down. It was able to make us feel that we will never be able to catch even the smallest break. That even though we will continue and smile and show our daughter that she is our greatest joy, this year our holiday season may just fall flat. We have always managed to pull a rabbit out of a hat for her but with everything from the past year and this year and now with this perfect shining example of how dumb a person can be well I'm trying my damnedest to find that rabbit.
This is the first year that she may fully come to realize that not everything is as jolly as we have made it out to be and that is not something I ever wanted her to know. But this person, this thief took that from us. Though he did not physically rob our home, he still managed to steal from us. He still managed to make us feel broken and I hope that he really needed that money. I hope that he will enjoy what he has taken from others because as the officer pointed out several times there will be no getting it back.
Thank you for listening, I hope that after hearing this horrible and embarrassing story you will pass it along to your friends and family, make sure that what happened to us doesn't happen to you or them. The only way to stop a thief is to make people aware and though I hate to admit I was a victim I am choosing to lay it out there in hope that I can save someone from the same sadness and violation that I feel.
Later Days

Story of Love and Life

2013-11-17T10:33:00.001-08:00

Happy Sunday to all my faithful readers. I have been hearing and reading a lot about a blogger who sweetly and elegantly put "Marriage is Not for Me". Though his views are wise and have hopefully saved his marriage from the fate of divorce, it has cause a lot of thoughts to go through my head. Marriage is not a "Me" issue it is a "We" thing but at the same time you have to ask yourself what do you bring to the relationship. In some aspects a marriage can be seen like a business deal as both parties need to have something to offer. No I don't necessarily mean financial stability, though that could be a plus in the long run. I am talking friendship and love. Though we all want to believe in the everlasting love that is depicted in the movies or even wrote about in the book, most of us realize that kind of love takes work and it helps if you are able to go down this journey with your friend.

I'm not saying that, that heart pounding, take your breath away, causes tears of joy kind of love does not exist or that it can not exist in an instant. What I am saying is that, that kind of love can fade and it takes work to be able to keep that feeling alive in some marriages. Sometimes once we are married we lose ourselves to the marriage and we think that because we have won the heart of our partner that we have the right to relax and not continue to try to keep those moments alive. So today's blog is about the journey of love and life of two people. We had a quick beginning and we are still together though some never thought it was possible. Many people are aware of how I met my husband, but for those of you that are new to my world I'll break it down really quickly for you. I'm not really a private person in some areas of my life and since we both tend to get a kick out of this story I will gladly share it for a back ground.

I met Andrew (Roo) on February 17,2001 at work. I had been working for Wal-Mart for a while by this time and I was a senior in high school. It was his first day of work and if you have ever worked for a store like Wal-Mart you may know that you are taken on a tour of the store. I at the fitting room (which I would hang out quite frequently) with a friend of mine when we saw one of the older trainers with two guys. One was an extremely tall, lanky guy who could be classified as cute in a boyish kind of way. The other one was tall, brown hair blue eyes and had piercings he was wearing a white psych ward shirt (a shirt that I would later wear until I had to get rid of it) It was just something about the look of him that caught my attention I told my friend that I would marry that one. Of course she laughed but we went on about our way. I actually introduced myself to him inquiring if he needed help finding his size in the bra's that they were being shown by the trainer, he held one up and said "Nah I don't think you have my size" I smiled sweetly and replied "You can try the little girls section I'm sure they've got something for you" and needless to say we've been together ever since.

From the moment that we met we became friends first. Roo was very adement about being my friend first since I knew that I was "talking" to someone else at the time. The more time we spent together the more that I realized that this really was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He held my heart as my friend. I am a person who at times is very guarded and he made sure that no matter what the issue he would scale any of the walls I put up between us. Though he would repeatedly tell me that he was not going to "chase" after me he did a pretty good job of handling any of the crazy that was handed him. Soon I decided it was time for the ulitmate test and I invited him along to meet the family. He was only told about meeting my parents but he met my brother and grandparents that way and I was able to show him my familyself (theres the self that we show others and the self that we are around family) My family liked him and I knew there was something special even when my mom called him by the wrong name he laughed it off and saw the humor in it. We still joke about that to this day. When he proposed he knew I would say yes so his proposal was not the most romatnic in the since that I cried happy tears. I cried, oh yes I cried but it was from tears of laugher. I mean being asked "So you think you want to?" is not really the way most girls want to be asked to marry them but for us it was perfect. We are very different then most, he recognized early on that though I am every bit a girl there was still something things that was even too girly for me and we compromised. We used this time of our engagement to grow with eachother. I had just turned 19 and we decided (with the accpetance of family) that we would begin our life. One the day of our wedding, we were both asked if we were sure. I mean lets face it one night as we were getting ready we had that magical discussion. You know the one where you talk about your fears?

How do we know that we will work out? What happens if we don't? What if we have kids?

So we discussed everything calmly and here is what we came up with at that time.

Tomorrow isn't promised, we need to live for today and learn from yesterday. We are only human and are not perfect but as long as we stay honest with each other then we can work through anything. Children are brought into this world with love so even if we did not work as a couple we would make sure that any child we may have would understand that they were still loved and that we would still find away to be friends and a family even if a different kind. If we don't work out then that is in the hands of GOD but we will work on anything we need to. Lastly the ultimate question came up. Do you believe in divorce?

This is not a matter of religion but my answer to him was "You better be sure about me, I do not believe in divorce, I do believe in murder and I believe that I have acreage and a shovel and some really good alibis...So you need to be really sure before you get into this forever cause that whole death do us part thing is not really a suggestion as more of a fact even after death the whole we're gonna be apart is highly questionable." (yes i did say all this with a straight face) he thought for a moment and then nodded and said "Eternity to have you with me? Sounds good to me" and once again he won my heart.

The love part of our lives has always been the easy part. We are different in many ways and yet once people get to talk to us both they realize that we are the same...I just look like the sweet one. Our life together had been a little more up and down. He is still my best friend and I am thankful that I am walking this life with him. We have different views on some issue when it comes to how handle some situations. We have been through the death of several family members. We've been through the loss of a child and though I think I've went crazy sometimes, it helps to know that he will understand me...
Marriage is about me sometimes and its about him. Because we came together knowing what we could offer. He couldn't offer me riches but he offered his heart and his understanding and acceptance. He offered his strength when I was unable to have strength of my own. He makes it about me in the little things that he does to show that though I may have been a princess to my dad, I am a queen to him...(Lame to some but perfect to me) At the same time I came into this marriage offering myself, my love and my understanding and acceptance. I try to offer my sense of humor and optimism when there may not be any. I offered to help build a home and gave him two beautiful little girls even though only one could stay with us.
Marriage is a work in progress and nothing is ever perfect and over the years you will take each other for granted. You will fight, you will make up. For the gentleman who again so proudly stated "Marriage is not for me" you have realized early on into your marriage something that many do not. It's going to take work from both. We want it to be easy, we want it to be just like the movies "They met, they fell in love, they lived happily ever after" well in order to get to the Happily Ever After you need to go through the ups and downs, you need to be willing to grow with your partner. I can honestly say that I feel somedays that I've grown up with Roo, then again sometimes I think we still think we are kids in away. But the important part is that when we feel that we are going in different directions we are able to talk and are willing to reintroduce ourselves to each other.
There is a song by Paramore that I love Still Into You. the chorus of the song is what really sums it up for me and I'll leave you with that thought

I should be over all the butterflies
I'm into you
And baby even on our worst nights
I'm into you
Let them wonder how we got this far
Cause I don't even need to wonder at all
Yea after all this time
I"m still into you.