A Dose of Random Ligz

Funny...the good old days

2011-12-22T22:33:00.001-05:00

2011-11-25T09:00:00.000-05:00

I saw these on sale at AMAZON's Black Friday Sale. People still use cassette tapes?

So someone caught the sale

2011-10-11T11:17:00.000-04:00

I checked the Lakeside Collection site again today to see if there were any changes to the "sale" I posted about last time. I'm guessing someone caught the mistake. Look at how the item was listed this time:

You get a $1.00 off the regular price this time...but I still wonder what the real regular price was. Hmmm...

On Sale? Really?

2011-09-29T18:43:00.000-04:00

I am serious! This was in the ONLINE SPECIALS section of a mail order website that I was looking at (www.lakesidecollection.com). What a savings! LOL!!!

Banner Ads and Internet Surfing

2011-09-20T20:19:00.000-04:00

I read somewhere that websites place "cookies" on your computers so that they can track sites you visit. This supposedly helps them or search engines (?) provide more relevant ads on some sites you frequent, such as social networking sites.

If that's the case, I DON'T BELIEVE IT! Seriously, I don't. I go on my Yahoo! mail and notice the kinds of ads that show up on my sidebar. In the past, I'd see a variety of ads and the most common one I would see was the T-Mobile ads. Lately, however, I have been seeing ads for online dating sites like Match.com. How in the world?!!!

I have never gone on any of these kinds of sites, not even on Facebook or MySpace. So how could whoever places these ads or creates the programming that places these ads find this type of advertising relevant to a 40-something, happily married mother like me? I really wonder...so someone please tell me if you know.

5 PEARLS OF WISDOM TO REMEMBER

2011-09-18T01:00:00.004-04:00

(Thanks to my Facebook friends for sharing this with me).

1. Money cannot buy happiness but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than it is on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard’s name.

3. Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then neither does milk.

Ducks in Heaven

2011-07-27T23:21:00.001-04:00

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck. And although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing.

With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks.
But one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on.

....very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.'

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Now this is definitely worth passing along!!!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

(Thanks, Denise for sharing this one with me!!!)

Wile E Coyote in 127 Hours

2011-06-04T22:55:00.000-04:00

This was too hilarious not to share...Wile E Coyote in 127 Hours. I love those old Looney Tunes characters. It's cool that someone could keep them going in modern skits like this.

What is your fruit pleasure?

2011-05-18T09:12:00.003-04:00

Of 5 Fruits,

Which would you pick?

THIS IS QUITE REMARKABLE....

In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of fruits on it.

They are:

A. Apple

B. Banana

C. Strawberry

D. Peach

E. Orange

Which fruit will you choose?

Please think VERY carefully and don't rush into it. This is great, I was astounded!

Your choice reveals a lot about you! (click the Read More link for the results)

Test results:

Please SCROLL DOWN...

If you have chosen:

A. Apple: That means you are a person who likes to eat apples

B. Banana: That means you are a person who likes to eat bananas

C. Strawberry: That means you are a person who likes to eat strawberries

D. Peach: That means you are a person who likes to eat peaches

E. Orange: That means you are a person who likes to eat oranges

Also, I bet that right now you would like to find me and kick my butt!

Well, You won't find me.....because I am still hunting down the nut who sent this to me...

Have a Purrrr-fect Day!

Laughing Gas

2011-04-05T10:25:00.000-04:00

Two men stole a gas station employee's car in Pensacola, FL and made a clean getaway. However, they were caught when they returned to the scene of the crime an hour later to gas up the stolen car.

It's not the camera!

2011-03-23T23:06:00.009-04:00

If you want someone to take a memorable snapshot of you, it pays not to be completely spontaneous. A little preparation or a quick check is well worth it. A minor mistake can leave you with an embarrassing memory you hope will never resurface.

It might be wise to do a little reading before embarking on a journey with your camera. Here's a suggestion...

Too Much Snow?

2011-02-03T09:29:00.000-05:00

(Associated Press photo)

Looks like we've had enough snow this winter....

Just so wrong!

2010-12-18T22:11:00.000-05:00

Theft Problem - A Must Read For Women

2010-09-01T21:36:00.000-04:00

IMPORTANT MESSAGE You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.

And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original.! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time.

What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story.

Women of the world - wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

(I wonder who makes these things up. This was floating around in emails! LOL!)

Where are you?

2010-03-17T23:28:00.000-04:00

I don't seem to have frequent repeat visitors to this blog. Maybe more people need help finding a sense of humor. I found something that might help. It's easy to install. Here it is:

Let Him Dig!

2010-02-18T15:36:00.001-05:00

(Someone sent this story to our customer service department and I just had to share it!!!)

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.

The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave, and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!'

Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared.

To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow.

Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, 'Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave, and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?'

The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried upside down.'

Wow!!! Women think of everything!!!

Learn a New Language

2009-12-16T10:55:00.004-05:00

A couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that there was a wonderful Russian baby boy available. The couple accepted him without hesitation.

On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.

After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?"

The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby. In a year or so, when he begins to talk, we want to be able to understand him."

Great Trick!

2009-12-14T10:49:00.005-05:00

As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention.

She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path. The vehicle with the dog bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped.

I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right.

"I'm fine," she assured me, "but I hate to think what could have happened if that dog hadn't honked."

Girl Scouts

2009-10-19T14:50:00.005-04:00

Craving some cookies now but the Girl Scouts aren't selling them yet. Find out when here.

For Friendships

2009-10-04T17:36:00.004-04:00

Just a random dose of fun pictures that a friend emailed me the other day. Since they brought a smile to my face, I thought I'd post them here and bring a smile to your face as well. By the way, if they're too small to see or read, just click on the picture and you can view it in its full size. Have a wonderful day, my Random Readers!

The Spanish Quiz

2009-10-02T10:28:00.005-04:00

"Guess what?" yelled my high schooler as he burst through the door. "I got a 100 on the Spanish quiz that I didn't even know we were having."

"That's great!" I said. "But why didn't you know about the quiz?"

"Because our teacher told us about it in Spanish."

Shared by Kathleen Zell

And for fun, I thought I'd post this humorous video of a love song composed of words and phrases typically taught during the first semester of a Spanish course. I just love this video!!! I watch it over and over...

Random Greeting

2009-09-27T00:49:00.006-04:00

Hello, my readers! I was just wondering where you are and if your week-end is going well. I didn't have anything really funny to share today but I did have that picture of my favorite cartoon kid, Calvin, greeting you as I would...LOL!

Have a wonderful start to the new week!

Swine Flu Epidemic

2009-09-25T12:50:00.003-04:00

Uh-oh, the swine flu epidemic is getting out of hand!!!

(Thanks to Tara for sending this to me!)

Give me a beer! Please!

2009-09-13T22:57:00.005-04:00

Let's get real now...if you were a guy living in the early 1900s, would that anti-alcohol drinking campaign poster be convincing?

Ten Commandments for Employees

2009-09-06T18:26:00.002-04:00

September 7 is Labor Day in the U.S. And the following day will be back to work for most of us. Here are the Ten Commandments for Employees to keep in mind when you go back to work...

1. If at first you don't succeed, destroy the evidence.

2. A conclusion is what happens when you get tired of thinking.

3. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

4. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

5. He who hesitates is probably right.

6. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

7. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

8. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

10. Two wrongs are only the beginning.