A Dose of the Daly Life...

And so.

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Sat, 22 May 2010 03:26:00 +0000

Here I sit on the love seat on a Friday night, the house quiet, save the off-beat ticking of a couple of clocks. It has been a long time since I've written, and I offer no apologies tonight. What can I say, other than life gets in the way of a luxury such as free time to sit and think and type without interruptions, and a lot of times, I just plain don't feel like it. And so. Here we are, at a time when, I guess, I do feel like it.

In one bedroom, my five-year-old shifts and stirs in her sleep, sometimes murmuring unintelligible phrases, sometimes resorting habitually to sucking her thumb. This is a very exciting and taxing time for her. The ending of things very near and dear to her are drawing close or have already happened - pre-K, swimming lessons, Irish dance lessons. And the beginning of new adventures loom near - t-ball, gymnastics, summer break, French Immersion camp and kindergarten. As well as all the other Very Exciting Things happenings in the life of a five-year-old... loose teeth, almost riding a two-wheel bike, READING, the independence of walking into school all. by. herself. The extent of her excitement and trepidation are palpable. And seeing all that in print makes it much more clear why she is so tired and dramatic and giddy and excited all the time.

And in the next room, the almost-four-year-old flings herself from end to end of her bed, tossing blankets and stuffed animals and baby dolls all the while. Her room never quite looks the same when we enter in the morning from when we leave her at night. She is now an officially registered pre-kindergarten student. She's not quite sure why she just can't go ahead and start right now, and when in this elusive "fall" we keep speaking of? Tomorrow? No - then the next day? Fine, when can we play in the sprinkler? She continues to be my continual source of laughter and frustration, comfort and exhaustion. She has mastered the art of giving the best hug you've ever had in your life, oftentimes wrapping her entire little body around the recipient. I want for her to grow big and strong and healthy, but yet, will so miss the day when I can pick her up with ease and have her enfold me in her sinewy little limbs. Every day, I admire the zeal with which she lives her life. She'll yell "hug!" from the next room and come running to do just that. And the next moment, she's off to play a tune on the keyboard and make up a song. All the while, she's probably contemplating how to con me into letting her watch a movie and have a snack.

And lastly, upstairs, the husband sleeps, having returned today from what, hopefully, will be his last business trip until August. It's always a weird rift in our routines when he travels, but, I daresay, it has become easier as the girls have gotten older, and definitely much easier since I've been a SAHM. Speaking of which... the year anniversary approaches near the end of this month. And that - I cannot fathom. What a different life. And now, I'm tired. More soon... or perhaps, not. But there will be more, again, another time.

Days of Ghillies and Hockey Skates. Or, You'd Better Appreciate this Video, Because it Took 2 Days to Upload.

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 03:09:00 +0000

Couldn't you just eat her up? I feel so inept at putting into words the... just... everything... that she is and does and says. She is bright and curious to no end. Considerate and kind. Competitive and determined. I can't do justice to the light in her eyes, the depth of her understanding or the softness of her sweet little cheek. She is my sun on the darkest days.

Josephine turned 5 on January 19th. The three birthday parties celebrating the occasion, along with the planning, cleaning and cooking that naturally come along for the ride, consumed a large part of the month of January. She got to go to school on her birthday, and take treats to share with her school friends. Then we spent the afternoon at the Mall of America, just the four of us. I'm not sure which of us enjoyed ourselves the most. Josie got a free unlimited ride wristband at Nickelodeon Universe, and definitely made it worthwhile, even venturing a ride on a big-kid roller coaster, and the Log Chute.

Otherwise, our days this last month and a half have been full of school, Irish dancing and hockey practice for Josie, and ECFE and skating lessons for Eve. She ended the class able to stand up without the "pusher" and even could take some steps on her own. Eager to start her own journey on skates.

We talk a lot about spring now. The sun feels warmer, the days longer, and we're waiting, waiting to be able to spend more time outside.

And Baxter, my black and white cat of almost 17 years, is no longer with us. It's the first time in the 8 years we've lived in this house that we haven't had a cat. It was hard to say goodbye, but a relief at the same time. The vet said Baxi had a large tumor in his stomach, and that we made the right decision at the right time. Who knows if it's the truth or not. But I'll be eternally grateful to him for saying the words, either way.

I won't lie...

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 23:16:00 +0000

The main motivation behind this post is only to be able say that I did, indeed, post in December of 2009. I find that my motivation to write is difficult to predict or track, and unfortunately, I just haven't found much of it as of late.

We are happy. And we are healthy. And that's all that really matters, isn't it?

Right now as I type, the girls are running around "on an adventure to find the lost kitty." I am sad to say that there may not be many more adventures with our kitty, Baxter. He is 16, and he is failing. I feel like we are basically running a kitty hospice right now, as it is only a matter of time. But, with that being said, watch the stubborn bastard pull through another couple of years. 'Cuz that's kinda how he rolls, and I know deep down inside he'd relish outliving the dog. We aren't quite at the point to say that we can decide for him that it's his time to go. He's still happy (well, relatively speaking, as far as Baxter's happiness goes,) and from what we can tell, he isn't in any pain. That decision may be upon us soon, and I hope I am strong enough.

Josephine is a hockey player. And I got the opportunity to see her skate a couple of days ago, and it almost brought tears to my eyes how... good... she was. Sure, she still falls down a lot, but now it's because of her desire to go faster, not merely because she can't really skate. Her favorite thing about hockey is when the coach gathers the kids around, and he counts 1, 2, 3, and the kids all yell, "Eastside!"

Eve has found a new love for all things Scooby Doo. She says her name is Daphne, and cried buckets when we had to return her beloved Scooby Doo movie to the Redbox. This Christmas season was especially fun to celebrate with her this year, as she really kinda got "it." She loves to give gifts, and extended her enthusiasm for life, as only my Evie can, in all aspects of the holidays. What a boring holiday Christmas was before we had children. :)

And now it's the eve of a new year. We're laying low, pizzas are in the oven, gonna make some sundaes and watch some movies and play some games. And then, it's the month we've all (if all of you are Josie, at least) been anxiously awaiting. Happy New Year, everyone! I hope tonight and the year to come find you happy and healthy and filled with optimism for the fresh, new year ahead!

Hello, Darlin'. Nice to see ya.

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 02:08:00 +0000

We're still here. And, we're healthy. We've all had our bouts of illness, but for the most part (knocking on wood), have been able to bounce back quickly. Poor Josie got sick right before Halloween, and had to miss a couple of parties, but was well enough in time to be able to go out in the neighborhood for trick or treatin'. It was a very sad thing having to be the one to tell a sick little girl that she can't go to a party she has so been looking forward to.
Here are the unicorn, the hero, the witch and the little lamb:

A happy surprise for Miss Jo, she received Student of the Month at her school for September! Apparently, each teacher in the school submits their nominees and discusses with the principal, who then picks the recipient. I don't think she really knew what was happening when the principal showed up in her classroom to congratulate her. Jo's account was that "I had to go stand in the front by Ms. Peterson, then she talked, and all the kids clapped."

We've had our first official teacher-parent conference. Really makes it real, this whole "we've got a kid in school" thing. Our conference went swell - Jo is doing just fine across the board. Not that we had any worries. The only constructive criticism her teacher offered is that Jo is a bit of a "wanderer" and doesn't commit to free-time activities without a little guidance, and isn't interacting socially quite as much as she'd like to see. But, like I said, we don't have any worries, and this is pretty much just what we'd expected. She'll decide in her own time when she's ready, and if there's anything I've learned with my Jo, it's not to rush her or pressure her. There is another "wanderer" in the classroom, and her mom and I are hoping to connect the two outside of school and help them form a friendship.

She's so purty...

Eve and I are attending an ECFE (early childhood family education) class on Wednesday mornings. She loves it. And I love it. She's so proud to be able to go to "her school" with "her teachers." Here she is going on her first big kid bus ride with the ECFE group to the apple orchard. This was a happy day for Evie...

At the apple orchard:

For now, that's all I've got. For the most current happenings in our lives... join facebook, and ask to be my friend. :)

Funny Eve Sayings

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 19:30:00 +0000

At least, I think they're funny. And it's my blog. So there you go. Just a couple of things Eve has said lately that I want to get down, before I forget....

She calls play-doh, "potato". It took me a really long time to figure out what she wanted to do when she asked to "play potato."

The other morning we walked out of Josie's school and Eve pointed across the softball fields and said, "Look! It's all funky out!" And when I looked to where she was pointing, it was a little... foggy. Or, "funky."

We were in the van on the way to the thrift store the other morning (which was during the Columbus Day 50% off sale - and HOLY BEJESUS - that was an experience worse than trying to be out and about shopping the day after Thanksgiving!) and Eve says, "Mommy..." And I say, "What?" And she pauses for a couple of beats and says, "Butt cheeks." And, that was that.

Reminders

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:26:00 +0000

There have been a lot of days since I've been a stay-at-home mom where the drudgery of the chores, the hassle of the never-ending, relentless tasks, the annoying grate of little voices needing something from me, again, the squabbling and questions and mess have made me want to run away. Days where I haven't wanted to even get dressed, never mind get someone else dressed. Mornings when I curse the tiny busing area for Josie's school as I hustle both girls out the door.

Last night, Eve fell down the stairs leading from our main level to the basement. From the top. To the bottom. Hurtling head over toes. I heard the thudding as I was pulling Josie's bedding from the dryer. I turned just in time to see her little body tumbling down the last bottom half of the staircase. The floor of the laundry/utility room half of our basement is not soft. It is hard, and it is cold, and it is the last thing in the world you would want the body of your child to fall against - especially with the speed and force gained after tumbling down the stairs. And yet, somehow, with some unseen, guiding hand, she landed at the bottom sitting upright.

As I screamed "omygod omygod omygod" and rushed to her, she started sobbing. I frantically touched her everywhere looking for the bumps, scrapes, bruises, blood, broken parts. There were nothing but big, sad tears.

She reached her arms around my neck, and patted my back. She said, "I fell." Then sobbed, "Josie, I brought you your bunny." And there at the bottom of the stairs, was Josie's favorite stuffed animal, unharmed, looking up at us. Josie was sad and tired and ready for bed and came with me to retrieve her blankie from the dryer. Eve was bringing her bunny to her, and either slipped or missed her first step on her way down the stairs.

It was my biggest fear in our house come true. I've pictured someone falling down those stairs many times, pictured unthinkable images of what could happen to small bodies and heads hitting that floor. After Eve and I returned home this morning from dropping Josie at school and running an errand at Target, I went to the bathroom, and thought about what happened last night, and burst into uncontrollable sobs. She was fine. She is fine. But I couldn't stop crying.

Next time I'm feeling ungrateful, burdened, bothered, I'll will myself to snap out of it before I need a reminder of why I'm doing what I'm doing. Or pray for a more gentle reminder. I stayed home so that Josie could participate in the pre-K program. I stayed home so that I didn't have to write out a check to someone else to care for Eve. I stayed home so that I could be the one to answer their questions, to dry their tears, to help them clean up their messes. I stayed home so that I could play a million games of dominoes, have my hair "fixed" with fifty barrettes, and have helping hands with grocery shopping. I stayed home to learn from them, to teach them, to be a better person, a better mom.

And, for now, there is a rug at the bottom of the basement stairs. And a whole lot of thanks going out to the unseen helping hand that placed Eve upright at the bottom.

If I had a title. I'd put it right here.

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 01:17:00 +0000

Jo: Um, yes - Mommy? I love you. Now... can you please get me a snack?
-----------
Eve: Will Josie be upsided to see me?
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Jo: Mommy. Hear this. Um, it's a joke - okay. Why didn't the bear eat his food? (dramatic pause) 'Cuz - it was expired!!!
-----------
Eve: I don't wanna ever be a sweetie, and I don't ever wanna be a honey ever again, do you hear me? I'm an Evie and I don't wanna hear any more about it! (and stomps foot.)

And those four examples of things overheard around here lately could have occurred within 10 minutes. It's like watching a sitcom, drama and reality show all at the same time. I don't know whether to laugh or cry or pick my jaw up off the floor. So I usually do all three, just to be safe.

Not to anyone's surprise, Josie loves school. No - let me rephrase that. Josie LOVES school. Since we're outside of our school's busing zone, I drop off and pick up Jo every day. The thing that I like about this arrangement is the chance to walk her into her school, watch her hang up her backpack in the hall, go into her room, wash her hands and sign in for the day. I get to scope out her room, see some of her classmates and say hey to her teacher. And I thought that she would relish the chance to have me there, too. But by the end of last week, I was barely inside the door to her room and she was giving me a quick kiss and basically telling me to hit the road. The first day this happened, I assured Josie that I had all the time in the world, I could stay and watch her pick up her name plate and sign her name on the board, and she looked at me and said, "It's okay, Mommy. I'm good." Seriously, kid. Doesn't she know how much time and worry I put into her potential separation anxiety? Throw me a bone.

And Eve has taken the transition to her big sis being in school in stride. At 3 years and 2 months of age, the importance of everything in Eve's life is relative to when she's going to get to watch her next movie. She's fine with being lugged around between dropping Josie off and picking Josie up, as long as there's potential between these two events to go home and watch a movie. Which has only happened about one time so far. It's been a refreshing change to be up and about and out DOING THINGS at 9:00 a.m. Eve and I can hit the park, get groceries, take them home and put them away before it's time to go get Jo. And today... today we went for a walk/jog around Phalen after dropping Josie off! It was beautiful! And I could cry at the thought that it's going to be snowing in like two weeks. Eve does miss Josie while she's at school, and checks in with me frequently to ask when it's 11:40, and is Josie waiting for us, yet. And every day when Jo climbs in the van, Eve asks her in a sweet little voice, "Did you play with new friends today? What were their names?" Then turns her attention to me and asks, "Mommy, can we go home and watch a movie?"

It's been a hoot having some one-on-one time with Eve. While we were wogging around Phalen today, I swear that girl's mouth never stopped moving. She's full of questions. Or she thinks of some random tidbit from a movie or thing we did recently that she needs to tell me. My stomach turns at the thought that I may have never gotten the chance to experience any of this. I've never been so in the right place in my life before. Speaking of right places. Right about now, that's in bed. It's exhausting being a chauffeur/therapist/waitress/confidant/playmate/chef/maid.

I guess I'll have to learn how to share.

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 15:53:00 +0000

It's really not fair to keep something so awesome to ourselves. She's been all ours for four-and-a-half years. And today she gave us a smile as we walked out of her classroom, which made it a little easier to drive away from her school without her. She woke up this morning and ran up the stairs yelling "school! school! school!" much to my relief. I wasn't sure what to expect as she's been a tad apprehensive the last couple of days. But the only tears this morning were from me, in the car, as I drove away, and from Eve, as we left Josie's classroom. I can't wait to hear what her first day was like, and to see the little smirk on her face when we pick her up.

***update: The first thing Josie said when I picked her up today was, "Mommy! I had FUN at school!" And her favorite thing about the day... coloring. And she said she made 2 new friends. But she doesn't remember what their names are. :) OH - and the biggest excitement was the little boy (also, can't remember his name) who had to have TWO timeouts for not listening to the teacher.

Again!

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 19:47:00 +0000

Um... can someone tell me where August went? She up and left, and didn't even say goodbye.

I kinda can't even believe I'm sitting here on September 7th, on the brink of the fall season, Josie starting preschool, sorting out long-sleeve shirts and jeans and looking back at summer. I feel like I've just gotten this whole "staying at home" (what a silly way to put it... we've hardly been home!) thing down, and now more changes and adjustments are upon us. Such is life.

We just spent the most amazing weekend (which got off to a HORRID start with terrible traffic and an unfortunate camper-backing-up incident which I won't go into detail about here...) at a friend's cabin in Crosslake. The weather couldn't have been more perfect and the weekend totally redeemed itself after it's lousy start. Josie informed us she wants to stay there forever, and she wishes very much that WE had a cabin. Well, Josie dear... we've got a '72 Steury pop-up instead. Thems the breaks.

Just a few of August's highlights included the Como Zoo, outings to Lake Elmo Park Reserve, the girls' first full weekend alone with Grandma Sue and Erwin while Patrick and I enjoyed Western Days and softball in Chatfield, Eagle's Nest indoor playground, Pump It Up, the Chutes and Ladders park in Bloomington and a weekend camping with friends near Brandon. And, of course, filling in the other days were many trips to our "red park" just down the street, outings to the library and lots of walks, bike rides and playing on our swingset.

We *finally* found out that Josie will be attending her 4-year-old program during the morning session beginning this Thursday. A relief to know after a summer of waiting and wondering, and I think, a very good thing for our family. She's a occasional napper, and I'm looking forward to a reason to get us back to normalcy in the mornings, instead of the a.m. blahs we're slipping into once in a while with nothing to get us moving. I can't really put into words the mixed emotions I'm experiencing. She's so ready. But I'm not sure I can say the same. Just today she counted to 40, and has been counting by two's, as well. Not sure when or where she picked that up. She's fascinated by numbers, always counting everything she sees. Oh, and did I mention how stinkin' adorable she's gonna look in her school uniform? She picked a Tinkerbell backpack, and we're practicing learning how to tie her big girl new tennis shoes. At the bottom of the washing machine today, I found a bunch of acorns she'd filled her pockets with at the cabin. When I told her about my find, she said, "oh, that's where they went! I've been wanting to count them."

While Jo is in school, Eve and I will attend Wednesday morning ECFE class, and possibly a tumbling class, as well. I'm interested to see how Evie adjusts to her big sister, best friend and favorite playmate venturing into a new experience without her. We've talked about it, but I don't think she truly understands the change that is coming. While Josie, on the other hand, has been very curious about what exactly it is that Eve and I will be doing without her. I think Jo is picturing swings and candy and trips to McDonald's.

Eve is, I guess you'd say, half potty-trained. She continues to do very well with pee, and goes in the bathroom mostly all on her own. She's dry some mornings, and always through naps. And then there's the poop. She very politely asks for a diaper, promptly goes away by herself, gets the job done, and then asks to be cleaned up. It's a nice little routine she's got going. No desire to put it in the potty. We recently started to talk, again, about starting a reward chart, or a trip to Target to get that baby doll she's been coveting for valid efforts on the potty. And then she went seven days without pooping. So here we are, back changing poopy diapers, for now. I'm very willing to forgive the inconvenience because, well, they're growing up so darn fast, and Eve is so darn... cute. She can't milk that forever, of course.

And to wrap up for now, more pictures. If I could, I'd press the replay button on the summer of 2009.

What a difference a day makes

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 14:00:00 +0000

Eve and Josie and friends in Hayward, WI, last week.

Sisters. Eve's 3rd birthday, 7/17/09.

My Doodle turns 3.

Just a little taste of what we've been up to lately. The past couple of weeks have been full to the brim with birthday parties, vacation prep and vacationing in Hayward, WI. We had a total of 5 birthday parties between two consecutive weekends, along with a quick vacation (including the only slightly-soggy maiden voyage of our "new" 1972 Steury pop-up camper) at a relative's cabin near Hayward thrown in between.

Yesterday, we were crabby. The girls and I didn't bother to get dressed until 5:00 when we needed to get ready for dance class. The combination of more cake and ice cream than you can possibly imagine, along with a week of no naps, and all the excitement and let-down of all things vacation-related resulted in a big time crash yesterday. While it felt great to not have to go anywhere during the day yesterday, it was also better for everyone to not have to keep company with us. Whew. And now... today. A new day! It's cooler, we're happier (and showered - bonus!) and ready to slide back into life as we know it.

The library, grocery store and the great outdoors are calling. More later!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Eve

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 03:01:00 +0000

Three years ago on this date at 9:46 p.m., we became a family of four. "The Baby" didn't have a name for a couple hours. It was down to Claudia, and Genevieve. Eve won out, and I'm glad - I can't imagine my life without my Evie.

We spent the morning getting ready for birthday party #2, then let Eve pick where to have lunch. She chose Romolos - a classic little Italian dive not far from our house, because she wanted pizza. Awesome food, great prices, and for whatever reason seeing that there's no glitz or kid glamour, her favorite.

If you asked her how old she was going to be, her response was "Three in July." I am having a really hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that she is three. Maybe that's just how it goes with your "baby." Happy Birthday, my baby.

Holding pattern

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 19:00:00 +0000

I needed to drop off some paperwork yesterday for Pat at (his! how weird for it not to be mine!...) work yesterday regarding rollovers (nothing to do with dog training, though) and defined benefit contributions, and yadda yadda yadda - it's all Greek to me, I just signed where all the pretty little "X's" were... and being in the skyway again, near my old lobby, seeing some familiar faces... the reality of my choice finally hit home for me. I had no feelings of regret, no pangs of doubt. Well, okay - maybe I had slight misgivings when passing by my old Caribou, but really, I'm sure they're already over me and my small skim white chocolate mochas, no whip. Standing there, waiting for Pat to come off the elevator, I was just another mom with her kids, waiting for their daddy. Then, walking away, holding my girls' hands... and feeling the most confident I've ever been in a decision of my own making.

Things are good. Libraries, bus rides, zoos, beaches, parks... the stuff summer is made of. Nothing really newsworthy happening here, hence the lack of posts lately. And I like it.

The girls had "rest time" today, and I went in a while ago to tell Jo she could get up, if she wanted. Of course, she wanted, and we went to release Eve from her room. I opened the door, and she was sitting one her bed, facing the door, with this crazy little smirk on her face. I looked quickly and anxiously around for some sort of destruction, but nothing appeared amiss, and I started to turn away. In one smooth motion, Eve turned over, lifted her dress and mooned Josie and I, without saying a word. Sometime during quiet time, she removed her Dora undies, and calmly waited for me to come into her room. We're in so much trouble.

Overheard

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:10:00 +0000

The girls were in the tub last night, and Patrick was attempting to remove a ponytail holder from Josie's very tangled/somewhat damp mess of hair, without ripping it all out. (A task I didn't envy him, in the least. They played hard yesterday, much of it outside, and some of it in the kiddie pool in the backyard. Beautiful, long, flowing hair is great - if you've got a stylist on the payroll to take care of it.) It was taking a while, and I could tell patience was running thin from everyone involved. Pat muttered something like, "geez, we're gonna need a Jaws of Life to get this thing out..."

Josie sighed, and responded, "Daddy - are we gonna need to call in Mommy?"

Another 4th of July has come, and gone. We had a pretty low-key weekend in town. The neighbors didn't seem to go nearly as crazy with the fireworks as in years past, or perhaps my tolerance level has grown now that the girls don't wake up in tears from the annoying pops, crackles and mini-booms. This was the first year we let the girls stay up late and take in an actual fireworks display. We packed up some snacks and our blanket and headed downtown to scope out a spot across the river from Harriet Island, where the Taste of Minnesota has their annual festival and fireworks. (Sidenote - I LOVE big fireworks shows. It actually pains me a little the years when we're out of town and can't see a "real" fireworks display on the 4th. Small towns try, but just can't really compare.)

We scored a spot on the river side of Shepard Road near the Science Museum, and got down there a couple of hours early, so brought bubbles and a ball, coloring books and popcorn, all of which worked perfectly to keep the girls entertained while we waited. Our spot actually ended up being pretty much directly underneath the fireworks. IT. WAS. AWESOME. As Patrick and I sat on our blanket, each with a girl on our laps staring up at the sky with complete and utter amazement - I realized that as much as I love to watch fireworks, I loved watching their reactions even more. I whispered to Josie, "which ones are your favorite?" To which she answered, "ALL of them." Eve wanted her ears covered, and when I placed my hands over the sides of her head, she contentedly settled back against me, and didn't take her eyes off the sky again.

There's this intangible, indescribable thing that happens in moments like that, which I wish I could somehow capture in a bottle and present to couples who can't decide if they want to have kids or not - for a little extra push, if they are meant to have a family of their own. Solid, indisputable PROOF that giving up the freedom of a "just the two of us" life is so frickin' worth it. I'm never one to push an opinion, or even ask about when or if a couple is going to start a family, especially because I remember all too well the annoyance during our first 4-ish years of being married of being asked when we were going to have kids, and I don't ever, ever want to inflict that same annoyance on anyone with such a personal decision. What I have come to learn is that the moments like that one on the blanket, the weight of a warm little body filling my lap - waiting patiently and trusting that they were going to witness some sort of miraculous event, SO surpasses all the frustrations and "limitations" that (someone without kids thinks) parenthood brings. But, unfortunately, it is something that can't truly be captured in a bottle, or with words, it just has to be experienced.

Betcha didn't know...

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:32:00 +0000

... this kind of stuff gets me real fired up. Brain and Behavior was by far my favorite class in college. I think I was a neuroscientist in a former life. Synapses and serotonin and protein synthesis... ahhh...

And, you may or may not find me watching videos here during naptime. Maybe it helps that I have a bit of a crush on Liev Schreiber, who narrates some episodes.

I've embraced my inner nerd.

Still

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 19:05:00 +0000

The house is still. Well, except for the hum of the greatest invention on earth... air conditioning.

I'm suddenly regretting the decision to forego napping in favor of internet browsing, and I fear the stillness will be over momentarily. Or perhaps as soon as I'd drift off, if I did decide to get comfy on the couch.

I'm still loving being home.

We're still out and about and having tons of fun.

We're still in the process of all things potty training-related.

I'm still waiting to find out if Jo will be placed in the a.m. or p.m. preschool session at the school we were accepted to this coming fall.

I feel like we're all doing really well with our new arrangement, but I'm still waiting to wake up and have to head back to the big building at the intersection of 6th and Robert.

The girls still amaze me every day. Monday morning Josie asked me, in all seriousness and with wide eyes and quiet voice, "...if when we cry, our hearts cry, too." Eve was playing with an imaginary friend (named Dora) this morning. She got really mad when Josie "squished Dora" on the couch while she was trying to read a story to her.

And... the laundry is still waiting for me. *sigh* More later.

Phenomenal Cosmic Power... Itty Bitty Living Space

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 19:28:00 +0000

Today, in the freezer aisle at Rainbow Foods in Oakdale, I held true power in my hand. It came in the form of two containers of Breyer's ice cream (on sale this week 2/$5.00, of course,) and with these creamy, delicious miracles... I could get pretty much anything I wanted from my offspring.

In hindsight, I probably could have tested it out and tried for a couple of jumping jacks or a back rub or something, but I settled for having them get back in the car cart and get along with each other. The threat of not getting any ice cream can make Josie move faster than her daddy on his way to a clearance rack with a half-off coupon.

With the decision to stay home, comes a whole array of Things I Didn't Consider. Like how fast consumables such as toilet paper, dishwasher liquid and milk would fly off our shelves. And how much more annoyed I'd be by unfinished projects around our itty bitty living space, now that I'm staring at them all day long. And how an adult conversation... wait, let me rephrase that, lest you start rumors about how I'm finding some extra income for TP and milk, a conversation WITH an adult... well, let's just say talking with someone who doesn't need you to go back through your conversation and explain the meaning behind each of the words can become a very big highlight of my day. Don't get me wrong - I'm still loving every aspect of our new arrangement. I'm tired in a whole new way at the end of each day, and feel content in a way I've never known before. There's just lots for me still to learn.

OH - in other breaking Daly Life news... Eve put a big ole number 2 right in the potty today. Yessss! We're close, so close. Now that's a birthday present I'll bet Pat never thought to wish for. :)

Today is the eve of the seven months where he can't say that I'm a year older than him.

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:23:00 +0000

Tomorrow, Patrick Daly turns 33.

Sure, sometimes he still gets carded at the bar.

But, seriously - look at that face.

He can talk at length with my 90-year-old grandmother about baseball, and the Twins' latest win/loss. Secretly, I think she may love him more than she loves me. But that's okay. I don't blame her. :)

He is the reason our girls laugh their true belly-laughs, love to sit and watch a hockey game and know what an "on sale" sticker is at the grocery store.

He is the reason I'm able to be sitting at home, at 1:40 in the afternoon on a Tuesday, listening to one of our girls taking a nap. The other, not so much.

Happy Birthday. And thank you for all the reasons you give me every single day to love you so much.

Images

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 01:59:00 +0000

The rollercoaster ride continues, and today was a day at the top of the hill - all about fun.

Eyes open. Arms up. Enjoy the ride.

The cotton fluff floated through the air and seven kids ran through the yard in swimsuits, soaking up the sun as it played hide and seek under the clouds, and another kicked and watched the fun from the safety of a stroller parked in the shade.

What struck me today, as I sat in the grass with girlfriends while we watched our kids play, was all the images I've been missing out on - the every day moments that can't be recreated and that I was too hurried and too frazzled to realize were occuring in my previous life. I didn't even take the camera out of my bag today. There was no need. I didn't miss a thing.

Josie, red hair toussled over her shoulder, watching from a distance while she gauged the safety of the situation before deciding to join in the fun.

Eve, wrapped up in a towel, little toes and bright eyes poking out, trying to dry off and stay warm and deny how much she'd like to curl up in the grass and take a nap.

I'm filled with gratitude tonight. For the opportunities in front of me, the support behind me, and mostly, for the realization that it was time to stop and take a look around at all of it before it was too late. I only hope I can remember this feeling in the tough moments.

It's been a while since I've shared images with the internet. Here are some highlights from the past 4 months or so.

My new office has a window view

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 03:53:00 +0000

As I sat cross-legged on the bathroom floor today staring straight ahead at a toilet very in need of a honest-to-goodness scrubbin, I realized that... this is it. THIS is what my life has come to. My new cubical is the bathroom. It's where I'm spending the majority of my time at home, thus far, in the throes of a not-so-successful potty training experience with Eve. We've been workin' it for a while now, and I still feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is about as close as... frickin' A - I can't even think of anything clever. It sucks, and it's nowhere near over. Rewards, encouragement, tears, screaming... none of it working. We can't get that kid to drop her kids off at the pool for nothin'.

I know someday we'll be prancing about town in our big girl undies like nobody's business, nary a worry about pee-pee accidents on our minds. But for now, I'll be hanging out on the bathroom floor. And not in a good way.

Parenting is Exhausting

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 02:30:00 +0000

Week One is done. And we're all still alive.

Exhausted, but alive.

There was a lot of laughter, and a few tears, I won't lie. Thursday was the toughest day - Eve has taken the art of the screaming fit to a whole new level, and after a solid bout on Thurs. a.m., I couldn't take it anymore. I walked into the bathroom, sat on the edge of the tub and let it go. So we all cried it out together for a few minutes, and then we moved on. We didn't have any playdates planned for our first week at home - and this is the first time I can say that just the three of us have spent such an intensive block of time together.

And, for the first time in my life, I feel what I can only describe as being more at peace with myself than I ever have been before. Perhaps that means that I've finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up... a mom. Makes me wonder what I was doing bothering with all the other stuff when it was right there in front of me the whole time.

I think this summer is going to be an Adventures in St. Paul kind of summer. I've forgotten how much I really love this city. I can't wait to explore it with my girls.

A recap (for posterity's sake) of my first week as a SAHM, btw... it was pretty much 72 and sunny every single day:
Monday - We met up with Daddy over his lunch break for a jog/walk on the river path, and a picnic lunch.
Tuesday - Library day, followed by lunch on the patio in the backyard, and a full afternoon of working/playing in the yard. No naps!
Wednesday - We visited Betty's house in the a.m.. and lunched outside, again.
Thursday - Checked out the playground at Harriet Island. Headed downtown for a picnic lunch date with Daddy in Mears Park.
Friday - the girls headed off to Grandma/Grandpa Dalys' house for the day while Pat and I (finally) painted their rooms. Pink for Eve, and purple for Jo. Eve, upon seeing her room when she returned, said - "it's so very PINK!" And she's right. Pepto Bismol comes to my mind, but it's growing on me. And Josie is now in an official "big girl" bed. And I'm up all night worrying about the distance she has to fall to the floor. :)

There's so much more. Everyday I wish I had some way to begin every blog post that flashes in my mind. But I've got my hands full, for the time being.

Who do I think I am?

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Fri, 29 May 2009 19:32:00 +0000

You see, that's the crux of the problem, right there. I haven't a clue.

But as I look back at my life thus far, perhaps it turns out that I am being exactly who I am supposed to be.

Even though the words I'd often use to describe myself are the likes of "wishy-washy". "Non-committal."

I've never known what I want to be when I grow up, or been so driven or passionate about something that I've been consumed, or could even formulate a coherent response when someone asks, "what motivates me."*

Add another descriptor to the list: "unmotivated".

*This question actually was posed to me recently, and I've been thinking a lot about it ever since. And I still don't have an answer. Shit.

And now here I sit, kids napping. Laundry washing. Sun shining. On my very first day of voluntary unemployment. Wondering. Have I arrived at where I am supposed to be - is this the place? And why is it so covered in cat hair?

I haven't a clue. But I sure hope so. (The arrived part - not the cat hair part.) It's been an uneventful day thus far, except for the unexpected arrival of a bottle of liquor at my front door, handed to me with a card (that made me bawl, by the way - seems to be a recurring theme in my life the last couple of days) a hug from Mama Meg. All, unquestionably, precious gifts.

And the girls? you may ask, on this first day on the new path in our lives? They're fine. Josie just awoke mid-nap, and yelled out for Betty. (Insert a dab of guilt and a dollop of misgivings right about here.) I went in to her room, and she clearly wasn't ready to be awake. Her emotions are riding pretty close to the skin the last couple of days, and this nap, hopefully, will help calm the drama. Eve has been, thus far, equal parts sweet and evil. And I say that with the utmost love and affection I can muster after she put all cat's food in his water dish, jumped off the back of couch (again) and pinched her sister more times than I can count.

We've done a little playing and a little cleaning and a little snuggling today. And now I think I'll press the repeat button, and think some more about how my unmotivated, wishy-washy, non-committal ways have served me pretty darn well so far.

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Wed, 13 May 2009 02:31:00 +0000

I have to see if this actually works. I'm posting from my phone... those young kids got nothin on me...

Ch-ch-ch-changes.

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Wed, 13 May 2009 00:58:00 +0000

Minnesota Life has treated me well. They are a solid company, and I have made countless, solid friendships. I've given them 9 years, and now, it's time for something new.

Today, I gave my notice. May 28th will be my last day. I don't think I realized how... stressed, and emotional I was over this decision. I'm beyond wiped out tonight. I had to tell Betty, our daycare provider of 4 years, almost to the day, this morning that the girls wouldn't be coming to her house anymore - at least in the same capacity that they have been. Then I had to tell my manager, and my team. Don't get me wrong, everyone has been great, and so supportive. But it's a big change. A scary change... an exciting change. I still can't believe I'm going to do it. I've talked about it, I've thought about it, and now it's time to do it.

So... who wants to play with us this summer? :)

Houston, we have a problem.

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Mon, 11 May 2009 01:53:00 +0000

Internet. I'm gonna type something I never thought I'd... see myself write.

My daughter is an ass-grabber.

It's happened before, and it happened again, today, and I'm not sure what exactly we're going to do about it. Pat had Eve at Target with him this morning, and they were at the checkout. He turned to check on her, and there she was, curiously, ahem, rubbing the (and this is his description, not mine) tightly-jeaned, ample behind of a woman near them in line. Mumbling an apology, and sporting a red face, Pat grabbed Evie's hand and issued a stern warning. She's exhibited her fondness for fondling a couple of times before in public... and good lord. Do I seriously have to deal with this, or, please, tell me it's just going to go away. Please. 'Cuz I hardly have time to keep up with the laundry and the dishes and the potty-training, and am not exactly sure where in our schedules we're going to find time for an intervention of this sort.

But, on a lighter note, if this is the biggest obstacle I have to blog about right now, then I suppose things in our life aren't really all that bad, are they? For this, considering some of the things some of my dearest friends are dealing with right now, I should be, and am, extremely grateful.

Ass-grabbing aside, Eve is an absolute doll. She's wicked sweet and funny and talkative and strong-willed right now, and pushes us to the edge of sanity and hilarity on a daily basis. She packs quite a punch in a teeny-tiny package, and can still wear the majority of her clothes from last summer. She's currently midway through a swimming class, and absolutely loves it. She can't get enough of jumping in the water, and begs for more. She struggles to free herself from my grip, and actually asks to be dunked under the water. We're thinking it may be wise to just put her in a life preserver during every waking moment... because she truly has no fear, which, in turn, puts a whole lotta fear in us.

And my Josie. She is a sponge. She's inquisitive, and so eager to learn. She's showing a talent for numbers, and was even adding today - much to my amazement. I've never had a four-year-old before... this is all so new and overwhelming, and so fun. She's very watchful, and asks questions until there seemingly aren't any more questions to ask... until she thinks about it long enough to find another. She'll stay outside all day if we let her, and loves to do anything and everything to help someone. Yardwork, cleaning house, shopping, putting away laundry... she'll find a way to help, and truly is very helpful. She's been growing her hair out for the past year, after she saw a show about kids with cancer, and asked tons of questions, and agreed that she wanted to help them and give her hair to a little girl who doesn't have any. We've been talking about it, and now... it seems that she's having a bit of an internal struggle with vanity, as she's grown quite attached to her long hair, and braids, and ponytails... so we'll have to see if she'll make the decision to part with it when the time comes. She's now enrolled in two preschool programs, both of which we're pleased with. One is a charter school, three full days a week, and the other is through the St. Paul public schools' four-year-old program, and would be five days a week, either 2 1/2 hours in the morning or afternoon. We've got some logistics to figure out, and will make a decision this summer which she'll end up attending.

Oh, there is so much more. We just had a lovely, full weekend with both sides of our family. And now we're tired. So I'll leave you, for now, but do hope to try to check in more often than I have been lately.

Do you think Oprah will mind if I rub her cheek?

noreply@blogger.com (CarolSue) — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:06:00 +0000

It looks like it would be really soft. I'm sure she wouldn't mind, right? I'll let you know on Monday if my suspicions are confirmed or not.

Chicago - here we come. Watch. Out. 6 married women in a minivan, newly-purchased undergarments in tow. Yahoo!