a fishing tale

no longer dancing around the issue

2010-05-17T17:36:00.000-07:00

A toast to summer with boca burgers, some amazing vegan potato salad (really!...AMAZING; like, really?-this-is-vegan amazing) and Simply Raspberry Lemonade (oh wow!!) followed by a walk at dusk in the arboretum with my two favorite pups and my one favorite man. ; ) No better way to start the weekend in my opinion. And of course, 70-75 degree, clear and sunny weather definitely helps. I'm busting at the prospect of camping, hiking, beaching, picnicing and backyard BBQing and hopefully, some ocean kayaking!! For the Portlanders, stay tuned for a big ole' potluck picnic I want to organize in either late May or early June in Laurelhurst.

On Saturday, Maria invited J and I to join her and her pals, Tray, Chris, Wes and her couch-surfing guest Pierrick from Paris for the shorter 6.5 mile hike up Eagle Creek to High Bridge. Here are some photos from our little adventure. More are on Flickr as always. I am all too excited to do the 12 mile hike next time and then eventually one of the overnighters, once J and I can get some necessary camping gear. Portland, you are one brilliant landscape!

I danced my pants off! I did, I did! And guess what else!? I didn't mind two shakes that I wasn't alone and in fact, shared the space with 25 other people who too, felt no inhibition and embodied their sense of self and connection to their movement, their honesty and their soul. Wow!

I met Nicole through Jesse and asked if I could join her and Alicia on Sunday for their Ecstatic Dance class. Nicole offered to pick me up and graciously gave me a little pep talk and precursory insight into what to expect as I was visibly nervous about the whole thing. I have been pushing through my edges to try new things, to experience what might have scared me in the past or been too "hard" or "different". I am so glad that I took the initiative because the experience was incredible for me. Within about ten minutes I was able to almost completely open up and dance in ways that I would probably never have been normally comfortable moving. Granted, the safe and open environment is totally conducive to this kind of experience with one's self, but it still took a little something from a deeper, less explored part of myself, to work through the self-judgment shit that has dictated to me in the past. I broke out. I danced and stretched and did some yoga and meditated and somehow found myself on a sand dune all by myself. I wasn't in the studio, among other people or really dancing necessarily at certain points. I was just OK....being...myself. When present in the space, I gained so much comfort and energy in seeing all of these people so incredibly comfortable with themselves and found a lot of unconstrained support and inspiration to let go, find freedom and enjoy the experience of self. And for added benefit, I got a wonderful workout out of it, got to spend time with Nicole (who is wonderful!) and then enjoy a fabulous brunch of waffles and fresh strawberries with her and Alicia at Mother's Bistro afterward. It was a terrific reward of bravery to have the experience and then to get to know two amazing women in the process.

In another smaller bit of news, I agreed to take over the volunteer leader position with Hands on Portland for the "Art with Refugee Kids" program that I have been volunteering with since February, which I am really excited about. Portlanders, stay tuned to this as well, as I may need to reach out for more summer volunteers!

Thank you universe for being so giving. I hope I can find more ways to give of myself to repay the gifts you have presented me with. I am so grateful.

sunshine on my shoulders makes me feel...

2010-05-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

...happy.

Oh, Saturday, you make my freckles blush!

Well, at least one of us is cute. And it 'aint me in this photo! Jesse and I took the pooches to Oswald State Park on Saturday for a little ocean fetching and picnicing. It was a glorious, sun drenching, cloudless, 70-degree day on a low-key surfer beach. After a short little 10 minute walk through a forest that could rival a child's imagination, we emerged on a very special little spot, complete with ocean cliffs, few people, great sand and your run-of-the mill spectacular waterfall feeding cliff-side into the Pacific. Beaker enjoyed some swimming and fetching and both took a roll and a half in the sand. We all dozed a little in a euphoric little beach comma before realizing that we HAD to leave in order to make dinner plans. It was hard peeling ourselves out of this picture of perfection, but we inevitably headed back to meet Jesse's friends, who I had the privilege of meeting for the first time, at PaRaDox.

After dinner, we headed to a dance benefit which was pretty amazing. Chiefly, it centered a lot around the power of the feminine through dance, but everyone participated, barefoot and brazen on the hardwood floors of an old fourth floor corner dance studio. It inspired me to be among the gifted, the free, the spirited and artistic. So, this Sunday, I am joining the lovely new women I met and trying to find my inner....something...through dance. I am going to challenge myself to let go of inhibition and find a little personal power and dance my pants off like no one is watching, though I won't be alone. THAT is certainly an approach that I might not have been otherwise ready to tackle 6 months ago. Art, yes. Writing, yes. Dance, though? I am really looking forward to this experience, though a little anxiety is certainly present.

Sunday, has anyone ever told you that you look a lot like Saturday?

After cleaning a filthy little apartment, I went east-side to meet Maria and Jesse at the Mississippi Marketplace food carts to make an introduction between them for the first time. Before we met, Maria and I got some iced Chai teas and walked up Mississippi and bumped into Jena's friends Julie and Brian. Small little Portland. Once at the carts, J and Maria enjoyed some Indian from Ruby Dragon while I went for an incredible rice bowl from Native Bowl. After enjoying wonderful company and tasty food under the open air canopied area (another 70+ sunny day; mandatory outside time), we bumped into Sara and Jesse. A very small Portland (that or everyone is out and about on such magnificent summer-like days). While they ordered food, Jesse, Maria and I went to a little thrift store and I picked up a couple cute tops, before Jesse and I headed to Restorative Yoga, for our Sunday wind-down. And tonight, after a productive workday for me, I get to do yoga again with the other J in my life and undo a little of the yoga effort with some pasta and apple tart afterward!

I am so very blessed with loving, kind and inspired people in my life and an environment that offers more than anyone could ever possibly hope to have. Thank you.

you crafty cupcake, you

2010-05-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

* since I am more than behind on my blogging, here are 3 posts of catch up; keep on scrollin’ friends, if you are so inclined

Weekends are for suckers like me. Suckers who like secretly feeling the thrill of the “weekend”, where you can get away with having a little fun and putting off work you most certainly should be doing. I won’t trade that feeling anytime too soon I think. Jena and I finally had a much needed hen session at brunch at Detour Café with blood orange and pineapple mimosas with a lot of catch up. Afterward, we went to Crafty Wonderland at the Convention Center. About 200 crafters presented at a somewhat poorly attended show (according to what the vendors echoed; which often resonated with the generic and commercial venue), displaying their love, in what was typically a little 5x5 booth. Mostly delightful work, but of course a few little faux fur neon pink hats crept in here and there. With empty pockets, my eyes did most of my shopping, but it was really nice to see people working in what they love. It inspired me to get my lazy creative bones moving again. My only purchase, though not my only wishlist item, was a very very affordable wood block mounted letterpress print of a rooster. Feeling like a little reward was due for our effective purchasing restraint, Jena and I made our way to Saint Cupcake, located in Noun (a little gift shop on Belmont). It and it’s miniature little cupcakes were adorable; not so adorable I couldn’t stuff them in my mouth and devour them, less two little vegan guys that I saved for my vegan sweet, Jesse. That evening Jesse and I went to see an Indie Pop band that the former drummer in their GNR band was currently in. Nice little divy bar and the music was OK.

The next morning, I met my girl Maria at Gravy, a way-too-popular-for-its-own-good breakfast place, for an early-to-me meal. After getting the boot because they hold sacred their quick turn around (understandable with crowds waiting outside literally allll day; though I am liking these hipster spots less and less for that reason), we walked a block to a coffee place and invested four hours of much needed girl time. Afterward, I headed home to get a few things done before Jesse came over and we attended the restorative yoga class. It was amazing! It was restorative in every sense of the word and a positive way to end a heart nudging weekend.

Though with all of my jubilant splish splashing, I feel more and more like a clogged drain. Water is filling the basin because nothing is getting through. I think this means that I am stifled creatively and need something….something to yank me out of my weird little unproductive funk. I have way way too many things to be doing and I think the overwhelming prospect of organizing and starting ANY of them has me gridlocked mentally. I need to find the little part of myself that I tucked away for the last two months and invite her to the party again, still keeping balance a priority. In the meantime, I celebrate and express soulful gratitude for the people and the place that has and continues to help shape the woman I am and the woman I am becoming. With everything that I am, thank you so much for being a positive, loving and inspiring figure in my life. You make my world go ‘round.

what'd ya think mom?

2010-05-04T10:09:00.000-07:00

No one wants to land in another country only to fall flat on her face. That just plain sucks! My poor mom. After traveling for hours from Prague to Portland, the first thing she did, in her words, was kiss the ground after not being in the states for over a year. Literally. She tripped over some precariously placed luggage and really hurt her knee. So, the first week and a half of plans I had lined up would have to wait until after I came back from Minneapolis and her knee was hopefully healed. Instead, we spent time with my peeps at dinners here and there, which sort of worked out with shabby weather looming. She was able to meet Jesse, Sara and her husband Jesse and Jena and Justin for a celebratory home-owning outing in their new neighborhood.

After a couple weeks of flying solo in Portland and my return from Minneapolis, we were happy to see one another and have a nice remaining week together before she flew back to Prague. The bad part was cramming in the things I had planned over a five week period into one, but we did most of what I wanted, less a trip to Reno/Tahoe and Seattle. Next visit. We did manage a trip to Cannon Beach, the Japanese Gardens, the NW 23rd area which has a nice little shopping area, the Rose Gardens, various parts of the Arboretum, Multnomah Falls, the Tulip Festival, Saturday Market, Mobile Eats and sampled a few of my favorite restaurants. I think she left with a little part of Portland still tugging on her heartstrings. She (meaning Portland) will most certainly do that to her visitors. This city has that affect on its residents in yet another and deeply profound way. I think mom had a splendid time here and got a pleasant picture of my life here and the people that matter the most in it.

I already miss you mom!

Multnomah Falls, Cannon Beach above and the Tulip Festival below. Phew! We did a lot that last week!!

Mom, Jesse, Sara and Jesse at Mobile Eats and Jesse and I at Saturday Market.

The Rose Gardens, Japanese Gardens, Saturday Market and the Tulip Festival above.

PDX to MSP

2010-05-04T09:36:00.000-07:00

disclaimer: this is a long one folks; symptom of not blogging in over a month; to bypass the words, you can always just visit my flickr and check out captioned photos instead

Though weeks behind me, I felt it important to share my time in Minneapolis because it always has a profound effect on my soul. Whether that be through friends, familiarity or some other unpronounced measure, I always feel like I am coming and inevitably leaving a special place.

A couple weeks before my mom came to Portland, I was asked to come out for work at my old job for two weeks during a transition period. This was a great opportunity to help out the people who have become very important to my life (you know who you are), as well as see my friends and enjoy what was an unseasonable display of glorious weather. My incredibly kind friend Ryan offered to let me stay with him for the duration of my trip. As a result, my uncustomary presence apparently invited the naughty side of his dog Pete to come out, with two sets of torn sheets (courteousy of the nest he made himself in Ryan’s and my guest bed), and about five pairs of underwear, consumed. Well, the crotch part anyway. Yeah, dogs are disgusting creatures (mine used to eat my roos all the time when they were puppies). I actually thought it was hilarious and a good marker for this particular visit and a perfect excuse to go shopping, so really, thanks for the opportunity Pete!

The first night I was there, we did my favorite thing. We grilled at Ryan’s house and chilled in the backyard. The weather was near 70 degrees and clear. What better chance to enjoy some grilled veggies and a cold beer? The following day was Easter. I had no concept of this, even well into Sunday, when flocks of families in their Sunday best were walking the Isles and Calhoun. I met up with Tom and we took a walk around Lake of the Isles, my absolute favorite place in the twin cities (since it was a short and delightful 15 min walk from where I used to live). It was immaculate weather. So sunny, I actually got a little sunburn. After this, we headed to Old Chicago (where they have my favorite Chicago-style deep dish veggie pizza) and then we walked back to the Isles and headed to the neighboring lake, Calhoun, and walked its perimeter. In time for dessert, we then proceeded to the Wedge Co-op (my favorite grocery store which also housed my beloved dessert, the Boston cream cupcake). A new development sparked as I walked away with a cupcake half its normal size and price and proceeded back to the Isles to enjoy it.

Then, Monday came. Driving to work was a little weird. I really hadn’t expected to ever be taking that road again, but it went really well and ended up being very productive. The best part was seeing the peeps. Jessica had some lovely sunflowers waiting for me, which ended up lasting the entire two weeks I was there. The workweek was generally punctuated with a great meal. Monday, Jessica and Marissa made me a lovely veggie-inspired meal at Marissa’s place. On Tuesday, I met with Marcia and Clay at Pad Thai in St. Paul for my and Marcia’s favorite Thai food. Wednesday, Ryan and I went to Salsa a la Salsa, a tasty Mexican Grill with well-made margaritas. Thursday, with a failed grocery-shopping attempt, Ryan and I ended up bumping into one of his friends at Midtown Global Exchange and had, what was my first experience, with tamales (apparently the best around). Continuing to procrastinate, as we both had work we could have otherwise been doing, we decided to do a late night happy hour at Corner Table, a locally sourced friendly restaurant with a knock out changing menu. We had some wine and sat at the bar and “enjoyed” what was vinyl Thursday; Dolly Parton, Janis Joplin and Weezer spinning. It was wrapping up and being in Ryan’s hood, he is a known regular so in the vein of time and place, we also received some comp’ed and amazing ice cream and maple glazed popcorn. Love those places where everyone knows your name.

Friday is always the token day of the week, so I started and ended at Bulldog for my well-remembered black bean burger (they are well known and praised for their meaty burgers that come from top notch cows). Mine came from top-notch beans and it was delicious, though I regret not getting the taters; another thing they are known for. Aside from Clay and Marcia who also called it at ten, Ryan and Tory decidedly burned the candle at both ends, while I embarked on a phone date with my hun back home. I was thoroughly excited to sleep in on Saturday. Ryan made a tasty breakfast and then Marcia came over and joined me and my friend Patricia and her kiddo Quinn for a nice walk around Lake Harriet to catch up on yet another spectacular sunny day. Afterward, Ryan and I went to dinner at Joe’s Garage, a staple for me in my old hood and then I dropped him at a hip hop concert before calling it a night. Usually, when working a nine to five, Sunday blues creep in, but I think we debunked that norm with the full day we had. After brunch at Bad Waitress, we finally went grocery shopping at the Wedge, stopped at Liberty Custard and then met up with Marcia for dinner at Psycho Suzie’s for what I would say might just be my favorite pizza of all time. Love the tiki style patio and gritty staff too.

On Monday, I met up with Rob, Robert, Jessica and Scott for some Italiano in uptown and it was so great to see them all in the same space. Jessica, a brave pioneer in the culinary world, without batting an eye, ordered squid ink infused pasta with sea urchins. Rock on, ultimate foodie friend of mine. Her courage in food is inspiring! On Tuesday, I went to my favorite favorite favorite restaurant in the twin cities, French Meadow with Marcia for some much needed girl time. We used to regularly enjoy our little dates there, often after Pilates, with a half-priced bottle of wine and a decadent dessert. I had the most incredible meal; house made organic butternut squash gnocchi with wild mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, zucchini, garlic and organic arugula. It was amazing! I have no words to really describe. AND, it was actually a vegan meal and my favorite out of everything I had my whole trip there. French Meadow never disappoints. On Wednesday, Ryan and I ate at Victor’s Café 1959, a local Cuban favorite in his hood. It was my first experience with Cuban food and particularly with plantains. It was a wonderful meal in a charming atmosphere, with walls coated in testimonials to Victor’s, to love, dedications and tongue-in-cheek comments. On Thursday, I wanted to take Tom out to celebrate his MFA and so we went to a place I had wanted to try called Barbette. I was surprised to find that it wasn’t really as great as I had hoped it would be, but we then went to Sebastian Joe’s for some ice cream after, which made up. Being the last night in the twin cities and everyone wanting to do seven million different things, I was worried my tired ass was not going to be able to keep up so I was more than thrilled when it ended up being an amazing low-key night with Marcia and Ryan. After I got back to Ryan’s, Pete and I had another walk together on a warm spring night. Afterward, Ryan, Marcia and I had an incredible meal, with fantastic wine, champaign and dessert at Corner Table. It was a wonderful way to spend my last night. On Saturday, we went to Rudolph’s, the most celebrated BBQ place in the twin cities before rushing to catch my flight, for brunch. Weird to have brunch at a BBQ place, but it was on the corner of where I used to live so a staple in my eating repertoire. The cornbread never disappoints.

So, that wrapped up my two weeks in Minneapolis. I had a chance to see all of my friends, enjoy some of my favorite food and lake spots and get some work done. I don’t think this would have been possible if my mom wasn’t in Portland visiting and could stay with my pups while I was away. So, thanks again Mom for being such a trooper and taking the reigns while I was back to the grind. And, as a token of gratitude, my amazingly talented and wonderful friend and colleague Jessica made some incredible thank you gifts for those that were so sweet to let me go. Thank you for your thoughtfulness and inspired creative soul, Jess! More pics are in my craft set on flickr.

And, thank you for being such an incredible host, Ryan. I really hope this means that I don’t have to wait a couple years to repay the kindness with a visit to my world in Portland. Gratitude abounds to all of my friends who made my visit as amazing as it was. I really enjoyed seeing you and hope that you all plan on a visit westward soon!

up roots

2010-03-21T21:56:00.000-07:00

I have been forgetting my camera at every corner so here's another thoughtful interpretation of the Farmer's Market at the Portland State University campus that Jena and I took in on opening day on Saturday.

Last week was well spent. On Tuesday, I inadvertently played matchmaker between two of my friends that had not yet met. I won't name names, but I don't think I have stumbled upon two people better suited for one another...well, actually, I take that back...two other people come to mind that knock it out of the park. ; )

On Wednesday, we went to Proper Eats for some vegan fair where I was properly and pleasantly pleased with the meal. Afterward, we went to see Alice in Wonderland and I must admit, I was slightly disappointed. I can only say that it was charming and the visual representation stunning, but other than that, eh. A couple beers to close at another McMeniman's venue whose name is slipping my mind right now.

On Thursday, my pal came over and made some pretty delicious split pea and barley soup. It really shows that vegans can eat well, though I think being a veg is as far as I care to go, at least for a while.

Friday was a day of play in the sunshine with the kids after art club where we drew the stars, those of the nebula that is. They were quite literally bouncing off the walls and after breaking up a few modest fights (you know, throwing markers, grabbing, pushing...the usual) we went outside where my arms grew weary of carrying the tots and rollerblading around the playground. I came home lovingly exhausted and took a long and well deserved bath.

On Saturday, Jena and my friend Leah and I met early in the morning for the opening of Farmer's Market. Portland couldn't have asked for nicer weather and the masses paid tribute. I can't wait to go again with my mom and go for some full on produce shopping. I absolutely love and love some more, farmer's markets. After I came home, I worked for a bit, listening to the heart soothing sounds of Billie Holiday, watched Coco Before Chanel (have I mentioned that I adore French films) and savored the solo time that I have recently reintroduced into my schedule.

S is for Sunday and Sewing. It was nice to make progress on a larger scale sewing piece that will be ultimately functional. All that's left is the handles, final construction and an embellishment and viola: the first tote is complete! On to another little motivational present for a dear friend and then finally one for me: a yoga bag for my mat! In addition to this, I hadn't seen my friend Alexis in a while so we went and shot some free pool at Back Stage and grabbed a few beers. The practice served me well!

All-in-all, I was grateful to let my soul rest for a bit before my mom comes and solo time will be long abandoned for a while. Not that I am complaining.

carte blanche

2010-03-14T23:30:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhh. That is the only way to describe the last four days. And since I have been allergic to my camera lately, here's a little throw back: circa 1981. A pretty characteristic picture of my mood lately. (My clothes were bomb-ass (my favorite MJism)!! What the hell happened?)

Last week was ridiculous and something I don't think I'll do again anytime soon. I'm not even going to go into it here, but I decided that committing myself to someone/something every single day is exhausting and something I am consciously going to be pulling away from now that I feel like I've finally found a reason to. Got to sample a couple new spots though. Oba had some pretty kick ass crab cakes (going to miss having crabs: ha!...ewww) and Blue Moon. I must admit I just don't dig the McMenamins menu (there are just too many other yummy places to try). Though I will say that it was really nice to be on my side of town for a change.

I took in the "Portland Love" art show at the commerce center with a new pal. It was an open call and non-juried so there was some shitty and some exceptional work to look at, appx 260 pieces. Afterward we went to Hungry Tiger (said new pal is vegan) and then we went to Bonfire for a Guinness. Lovely Thursday. I was so tired that I decided to effectively cancel all of the weekend plans I had committed to and just play it by ear, but as consciously as possible, keep alive, the idea of flying solo. So on Friday, I went and did "Get Artsy with Refugee Kids" again which was fun. I feel like my committment to them and the regularity of my participation is what is going to reach them more than anything, so I am going to do my very best to go as often as I can, while I still can. After that, I came home, watched Food Inc., made dinner and resolved to indefinite vegetarianism. On Saturday, Sara and I went and sampled the city-famous waffles at one of the 2 million food carts they have here, Flavour Spot at Fremont and Mississippi. I had the nutella and peanut butter (duh!) and Ms. Sara had the maple and sausage. They were Y.U.M.!! Though I have to say that my salty little heart was also craving the 10 different options at Mississippi Marketplace that we walked from. In all of my Portlanding, I had totally forgotten about the Mississippi area and what awesome stuff it has to offer. I told Sara that we would have to dedicate at least half of a future Saturday just to sampling the rad stores and a couple of the food carts.

As we were waiting for our freshly made juice from one of said carts, the sun soaking into my pores, I told her that it was the picture of euphoria to me and how I feel this same intensity, even after more than 4 months. I know that it is still so new, but there is just some kind of mojo that Portland has that is hard to describe and even harder to beat. I've never felt a place in this way. I think the closest I can think of is traveling to Venice for the first time in my adulthood. It had a very enchanting quality, though I am certain that would have capsized as quickly as it surfaced. And the thing is, this love affair with Portland came on strong in the winter months. I can only imagine the feelings that will form in the spring/summer, which Portlanders boast about with unsequestered enthusiasm. I am really looking forward to it.

After waffles, we headed to Bishops on our side of town and got our hairs cut. I have to say, I am a bit disappointed with the technique behind my haircut (not a whole lot of precision), BUT, I really enjoyed the experience and my stylist and am so so happy to have a fresh cut. Might still try to find that magical salon and stylist (I tend to befriend the ones I love and don't go anywhere else once I do). And after wandering a bit on 23rd, I came home and had the solo time I have been really needing. I don't even remember what I did, only that I was alone and really really satisfied with this non-plan plan. Today was laundry, cleaning, a stop at New Seasons for a few fresh ingredients for the crepes I intended on making and got some replacement fabric from JoAnn's for a project I am working on. Sara, Jesse and Danny came over and I made four cheese herb crepes (goat cheese, gruyere, parmasean, ricotta) with cherry tomatoes and basil. They kicked ass and got rave reviews all around. I can't not make sweet crepes, so I made my simple signature strawberry/chocolate/walnut crepes with freshly made whipped cream (which turned out a lot better this time and solidifies that I will NEVER buy ready-made whipped cream again!). Another round of great reviews. I LOVE making crepes for people, especially when they enjoy and appreciate them as much as I do making them. So that ends a really nice and quiet weekend which was just what I was needing. This week is starting to fill up, but with meaningful people and events, so no complaints. AND the best news of all, my momma is coming to visit me in 8 days! Let the planning begin!

booked

2010-03-08T00:32:00.000-08:00

I used to enjoy down time a lot. I mean, I still do, but it seems that the opportunity to have time to myself has recently become emaciated. What a funny little life I lead. Sitting here, working on microsite stuff at midnight, scratching my mosquito-bitten hands and soaking my itchy feet in a tub of warm water under my desk while I type. I counted about 15 mosquito bites per foot. Battle wounds from Saturday night's shenanigans with a new pal. I have to say that it was a stunner, Saturday that is: breakfast at Detour Cafe with Sara, a walk in the blooming arboretum with P+B on a stunning 67 degree and sunny day, fresh blueberries and chocolate on Mt. Tabor at sunset with said new pal, lovely lemon drop at Avignon, a delightful meal at Nuestra Cocina, an education and tasting of herbs I have never heard of (specifically Stevia) at People's Co-cop, carrot cake to split from New Season's and then finally, hot tea at Palio Dessert and Espresso House with a little pop quiz on Czech and French vocab from language books on the shelf. Phew!

Probably the most rewarding time spent was on Friday and Sunday with the two awesome volunteer events I signed up for. On Friday morning, I met with my friend Maria for coffee/tea, came home to work for a bit and then headed across the bridge to "Get Artsy with Refugee Kids", predominantly Somalian. What a fun event! I got to design and make paper airplanes with kids (most with some form of social issue or another: some extremely introverted and others overtly contentious). After we finished making them, we got to fly them outside, which the kids loved! A little Indian girl barely left my side, insisting that the organizer Mike and I swing her around and this came with little effort as she was so tiny and light as a feather, in both weight and disposition. I am going to try with great effort to make this a weekly fixture in my volunteering while I still can. In the evening, Sara and I took in some Thai and then I made some sweet crepes: what else?

Sunday started with breakfast at Wild Abandon with Maria and Jordan and then I headed downtown to O' Bryant Square Park for Potluck in the Park. About 40 volunteers show up every Sunday to set-up and distribute a hot meal to between 300-500 hungry folks with loads of donated food. As far I learned today, they have not missed a Sunday meal in 19 years! THAT is dedication. So, I enjoyed my time with hands-on work with recycling and garbage duty. It's certainly not the most glamorous job, but someone's gotta do it and next week I know to come even earlier to switch up and do a slightly less smelly job. : ) As soon as I got home, I got back to work on projects that I have on deck and now, here we are: sorta tired.

And there is no repreive this week. I have something scheduled every single night and work allocated all day, every day. Tuesdays have become my only day to do something just for myself which includes yoga, a staple in my weekly planning: so much so that I schedule around it. I am quickly learning that although it is great to keep a full schedule and stay busy, you can't forget the importance of a little solitude from time to time. Maybe next week, I'll try to remember that!

should i? shouldn't i?

2010-03-02T23:33:00.000-08:00

So, it's 11 and I still have blog mock ups to work on. I'm tired. I'm still sick (this f'ing cold needs to vamoos already), but I am so very happy about the results of today. I have been hard pressed to say anything because I am so damned scared to jinx the good juju. I figure that no one reads my blog anyway, or well, a select few, so I guess it's OK to unfurl my results.

I had an informational interview with Ziba (a VERY large design firm in Portland) that also has remote offices in San Diego, Shanghai and Tokyo. They cater to really large clients like Nike, Philips and Microsoft just to name a few. In fact, the Wacom Intuous tablet that is sitting on my desk beside my keyboard is a Ziba design. They're big. I thought too big for me and so I never got the nerve to contact them. Instead, another person I interviewed with in December passed along my resume and acted as a referral for me. Boy am I grateful (I am off to personally deliver a bottle of wine tomorrow and properly express my appreciation to said referrer). Grateful to even have the opportunity to step foot into the ultra modern, creatively charged powerhouse that made me, as my favorite Aussie TV meanie stylist says, gob-smacked. The wierd part is, that once I got upstairs, which sort of feels like you are going to heaven (or what the commercial picture of heaven is anyway) with the floor to ceiling windows, clinically white walls and vast open space, I wasn't nervous at all. I was extremely comfortable. And as soon as I met my interviewer, a lovely senior communications designer, I was totally and utterly at ease. She gave me a tour of their breathtaking and fairly new HDQ. I was thoroughly impressed not just with the space, but with the floating energy within the space. After a really informal and wonderful exchange of information we discussed where I see myself going.

Where am I going? Didn't I just get here? And since they don't have anything open in the design sector anyway and since my work just isn't at the level to compete, the idea about a position that is available in client relations came up. Bingo! Something that I am extremely well suited for and with a design background makes me valuable to both the clients and the design team. My interviewer offered the promise of a good review to the the Recruiting Director and so, we'll see where next steps take me and if there may be room for me in heaven (loaded, right?).

it was a day at the beach

2010-02-23T22:31:00.000-08:00

Cannon Beach - November 2009

I was expecting a much larger audience to the ceremonious day that was Saturday. No clouds, no rain, no wind. Sixty degrees, freckling sunshine, low tide, unsequestered stillness. Exquisite.

yielding digression:

I had a conversation with a few people about the top three things that make us happy and one of the things that stuck out to me was someone's answer that one of his top three was the moment (and there have been several) when he has said "if this isn't happiness, I don't know what is." And honestly, I have had so many of those moments in the last four months, that I have ultimately lost count. I know it may sound like I am sugar-coating my transition to Portland, but with no agenda, I have never felt such an effortless, fulfilling, guiding, spiritually awakening, freeing, limitless and shaping experience. I would be lying if I didn't say there were those moments and sometimes, even those days, where I scare myself into thinking my life is not going in the direction it should, but I often quickly combat that with yoga, a new recipe, a visit to a bar with new friends, a walk in the woods or the beach and I remember why it is that I changed the course of my personal journey and forget the "should", think about the "could" and give thanks.

the beach:

Just me. Well, me and the dogs. Everyone is paired and I am actually happy not to be, at least at this particular moment, because I am free of noise and settled into the stillness and the personal joy of those around me; a little pip squeak, fiercely trying to outrun the twice-large kite slowly descending to the ground behind him, little dogs chasing each other in circles around their human counterparts, couples kissing on the driftwood, breaking waves that curl, flatten and curl again and a woman walking her red and regal parrot. Below me are the Jane Loves Joes' and the Joe Loves Janes', illegible quotes and my personal favorite, a large elephant.

So artist, have your elephant.

post work post

2010-02-18T20:20:00.000-08:00

What does one do after completing her work on a sunny, sixty degree Portland day?

She goes to the arboretum and touches spongy trees and walks her two yipper yappers.

She makes vegetable soup, hummus and cornbread from scratch.

She looks up at tall trees.

She washes the forest off of said yipper yappers.

And then she goes back to work realizing that she has it made in the shade.

hearty

2010-02-15T17:31:00.000-08:00

A hearty weekend indeed! On Friday, my pal Jonathan and I tested the waters at the Planetarium at OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science and Industry) and saw Ice Worlds. Expecting a lot, based on some of the incredible shows I had seen at Reno's planetarium, which does not boast being the largest regional planetarium by the way, we were a bit disappointed with the experience. The show lasted maybe 30 minutes, cost $5.75 and although interesting and educational, was a little....amateurish in some parts, due to what we could only describe as over-animation. BUT, there is promise of redemption with an OMNIMAX (much like an IMAX I guess) feature called Deep Sea, which should offer a little more substance. Afterward we went to the winter farmer's market off Hawthorne and picked up some fresh veggies which turned into a phenominal pesto pasta. That boy can cook! I was also introduced to honey roasted hazelnuts which are like crack! They are madly delicious and potentially habit-forming.

Saturday could not have been better spent. Sara and I decided to get an early start and headed out at 9 for breakfast at Screen Door, a southern-styled and wildly popular breakfast spot. We waited appx. 45 min. which is standard. I have been told that the wait can sometimes crest 2 hours and I can understand why. My eggs sandou (eggs beni with creamed spinach and artichoke hearts) were spectacular and well worth the wait. I also sampled some of Sara's cheddar grits (which are common round these parts) and was pleasantly surprised.

Afterward, we went to SCRAP, a thrift craft supply store, and found a few treasures grand totaling $3.10, including an old cabinet door I plan on sanding and etch burning at some point. Cha ching! Afterward we went to Mill End Fabric Store, where the selection of fabrics instantly made my decision making abilities paralytic. I felt like a headless chicken running myself in circles around the same fabrics over and over and over again.

Just when I thought I couldn't come out of my fabric stroke, I found holy moly buttons. I love buttons and these were P.E.R.F.E.C.T for embelishments I like to add to the fabric pieces I make with ribbons. I also got craft supplies for the few DIY birthday presents that are coming up as well as a few "just because" projects that I can't wait to start. The sew bug has hit!

Sunday was perhaps the best commercially pushy holiday I have ever spent...alone and on purpose! I started by treating myself to heart shaped pancakes and the dogs to the heart-shaped Evo cookies they seem to love so much. Afterward we went for a little walk before I headed over to Audubon Care Center for their open house.

My friend Sara, who so generously volunteers her time there, gave me the insider's tour, which included a sample of meal prep: grains, dead mice (sorry i forgot to bring my camera), worms and another dead bird body (less the head for the larger species). I also got to see some beautiful birds, owls, falcons, raptors and crows up close. Then I saw some chopped up mouse parts in one of the falcon cages and suddenly got really hungry. So, after I left, I picked up some takeout, brie and anjou pears for later, a bottle of Syrah and my favorite chocolates, where I enjoyed some food, a nap, some wine, a very relaxing bath and some very crappy TV before heading to bed. And I wouldn't have had it any other way thanks to the martyred saint that has evoked the celebrated tradition of prescribed romance and or love; self, coupled, platonic or familial.

The largely covered Feeling Good by My Brightest Diamond really says it all. Hope you all had a wonderful day.

a saint no doubt

2010-02-09T09:46:00.000-08:00

Although the main highlight over the last week was most certainly seeing St. Vincent with Jena, I will say that keeping a full social calendar helps one from feeling so removed of personal contact, a side affect of working from home. Last week was as busy as the weekend. On Wednesday, Jena came over for an overdue girl's night, which mainly consisted of my experimentation with a couple new recipes (a new weekly fixture) and sifting through fabrics for a new sewing project. Although the corn cakes with avocado lime salsa were just so so, the caramelized apple crepes with hazelnuts were delightful. Think apple pie in a crepe. On Thursday, I met up with my friend Jonathan for dinner at Tin Shed and then we hopped from The Nest Bar on Alberta all the way down to Back Stage Bar off Hawthorne (I am starting to feel like I live there). On Friday, Jonathan came over and made one of the best veggie burritos I have ever had and we watched New York I Love You which was the sister film to Paris Je t'aime. The latter was certainly better.

On Saturday, I had been invited to a "cocktail brunch" at Veritable Quandary downtown by someone I had met through a meet up and was lucky to meet some lovely new women and eat some delicious crab benedict. A very strange coincidence was that the girl, who I had seen on Thursday at The Nest sitting at the end of the bar was the same girl sitting next to me at brunch. Her gorgeous and recently acquired sleeve of large roses, which were wrapped with saran at the bar made her stand out. I am getting the itch for something permanent on my wrists maybe (perhaps a pair of Kokanee Salmon: an ugly fish to some, but representative of growing up in the Tahoe basin where they are endemic to the lake)....And the artists here are no amateurs! Later that evening, I picked up Jena and after dinner and we made our way to The Doug Fir to see St. Vincent. I could spend a great many pages describing what a wonderful performer she is, but instead, decided to simply say, GO and see her if you can. I promise you will be as enamored as every single person in the room who is transfixed by the talent that pours from her soul. She is quite simply incredible and that was the BEST performance I have seen since M. Ward. You have to love a girl who can, as Jena so accurately qualified it, shred. It's rare to find an artist who is even better live. GO!! And since I didn't take my camera, I thought I would just illustrate one of my favorite moments from the show.

Sunday came and went and I dragged my butt to Sara and Jesse's to talk through the last 30 minutes of the game with Sara, neither one of us a football fan, and then made my way home a couple hours later. Yesterday was one of those extremely productive and good-for-the-soul kind of days. It was sunny, which generally means I pack up the dogs and take them to the arboretum, which is so grand in both scale and nature. Walking on the walnut trail made me feel like I was in an aviary. I don't think I have ever heard so many different kinds of birds all at once. The highlight was a woodpecker, an audible rarity for me and one that makes you feel like you are definitely in the woods. Today is shaping up to be another sunny day (two in a row is something to celebrate). I can't emphasize enough what this weather has done to and for me. After living a life of Reno winters (which always seemed to creep into my bones) and surviving a Minnesota winter (which I maintain isn't so bad, but is definitely extremely cold, often very snowy and waaaaay too long) and now walking around in a sweatshirt in 55+ degree weather every day in spring-type weather in February is a lot to be grateful for, especially when the sun shines. I feel so lucky and satisfied with this climate.

It's strange to get the feeling of a seasonal change, which is ALWAYS euphoric, so early on, especially when you can no longer relate to how your friends are living through negative below and feet of snow. Don't think I could go back to that.

Back to work now. There are bills to pay. Tuesdays have quickly become my favorite day because I have yoga to look forward to (I haven't missed a class in over a month)! I think I like it.

shoot em' up bang bang

2010-02-01T20:19:00.000-08:00

What a lovely weekend. I somewhat remember what those are like. For those 9-5ers, they are ritualized, sacred and necessary. For those anytime to anytimers, they are just another day with a few more people hangin' around. BUT, I actually felt like part of the worshiping folk this time around. Likely, it was just guilt by association, but it was nice to appreciate it for once because I think I have been starting to take it for granted.

On Saturday, Jena and I had a superb Italian meal at Sub Rosa, an intimately small, casual yet sophisticated little joint on Clinton. Afterward, we attended a play called Truth and Beauty which was a collaborative adaptation of Ann Patchett's memoir, titled the same. Jena's friend Betsy co-collaborated the script and starred as Ann. There was a three person cast and minimal props and virtually no set and it was amazing; courageous performances, on-point comedic execution, thoughtfully integrated dance and most importantly, it felt personal. Wow. Actors are incredible.

And then on Sunday, after a day spent working on concept mock-ups for a job submission for THE JOB of my personal lifetime, Sara, Jesse and I met up with their friend Danny for a drink and then made our way across the river to Back Stage Bar (my new personal favorite bar of bars) for some freebie pool and a couple pitchers of IPA. Although not at my best, I will say that I will always be up for pool.

So, the lesson is that the weekend can still be the "weekend" even when you're self employed because it is to other people who aren't. However, I think I'm game to get out of the house on a daily basis so fingers crossed friends!

in towners

2010-01-27T19:57:00.000-08:00

I had a very eventful last few days with visitors in town. My friend Pepper, visiting her family in Truckee, from the authentic outback of Australia and her best friend Rya, a former and future Portland resident, took a road trip to visit the city of roses among others. With home base being my place of residence and a bit removed of the ebb and flow of the city, we commuted to enjoy some absolutely AMAZING new restaurants and incorporated a lot of shopping and sightseeing. On Saturday, I had a sewing class with Sara and Jena and was promptly greeted by my new house guests before we all headed out for dinner and then a little dancing at Whiskey Bar in downtown to one of their favorites, Plump DJs, dawned locally and from the UK I think.

Although Jena and I are not heart-swooned dance music enthusiasts, we managed to shake it for what we thought was the best of the DJs, who to the present crowd were very well-known and loved. I will say that it is nice to see dancing to this type of music because it transcends the typical and often disgusting bump-n-grind you typically see at most clubs to top-40 muck. It was a fun night out, but I have to say that being dubbed the Whiskey Bar, you'd think the drinks, especially the whiskey mixed drinks, wouldn't be so damned weak. Yuck.

Sunday and Monday were a composite of eating and shopping. There is definitely nothing wrong with that, except when you have self-prohibited the purchase of anything outside of the necessary essentials, which does not include books, jewelry, clothes, purses, high end skin care products, shoes and well, I could go on but it just makes my shopping bone twitch. I was good, but my when-i-have-a-job-i-will-buy-this-that-and-the-other list is exponentially growing by the day. I better hop to it. Karma, do your thing. I am due. I got splashed in the face by a car with dirty, oily street water and was soaked. My mouth was open; I think I'm done for a while.

I also fell in love with a really AWESOME bar off Hawthorne called Back Stage Bar which is also a pool hall. They have free pool every Tuesday and Sunday. Will anyone come play with me? The bartender rocked my world (don't get too excited, it was a girl...no really, don't get too excited) and the venue was amazing. For those not familiar, it was a McMenamins, which is a chain of pubs and restaurants of old restored hospitals, schools, theaters, barns etc. They convert historical landmarks to these venues and the Back Stage Bar was the actual backstage of the Bagdad Theatre at one time, which is now also an active movie theater and restaurant.

My new and most favorite of favorites was certainly the Tin Shed and Vita, both on Alberta (a place I had completely forgotten existed until Rya re-introduced me). And I am so thankful she did. I am not a huge bloody mary drinker, but Vita's Bloody Maria with pickled green beans was really really tasty. And I thought the twin cities was all about their bloodies. Biscuits and gravy are a big thing too, offering very specialized gravies: almond, rosemary, mushroom and so on. Really yummy with potato cakes that are baked with this delicious cream inside and out-of-this-world veggie sausage. K. I'm hungry.

I have a tea date with a new friend on Thursday which is also on Alberta at Townshend. This week, I will have visited that street four times. Although my very smart friend was probably right about how I should have moved to the NE where everything I have very quickly grown to love is, I am happy in my little hidden forest village that another very intuitive friend has dubbed a retirement community. I don't think I can bargain the yoga and the machine that so thoughtfully washes my clothes. I have grown very very attached.

more photos on my flickr as usual

it's about time

2010-01-17T17:35:00.000-08:00

Maybe only a few of you know, but I have been dueling a little bit with flying solo since I moved from Minneapolis. This weekend was one that may have soothed my heart. For the first time, in a very very very long time, I was more than fine with being alone, I embraced it. My mother always used to say a common Czech proverb that translates to something like, "whomever your heart belongs to, also belongs the weekend." And this weekend, I found that I fell a little bit in love with myself. I know that may sound a little strange and probably extremely narcissistic and self-centered, for anyone who doesn’t know me well, but this was a substantial breakthrough.

Rarely, and only to do more productive and fulfilling tasks, I barely left my computer and worked my ass off this weekend. I designed, for my clients, for my friends and for myself. I knocked out several projects and was inspired through it all. I am not sure if it is the feeling of some creativity and passion and hope and FEELING coming back, but I feel more alive now than I have in a long time. I think I am finally starting to remember who I am.

And with the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction comes the concept of reward. Mine was an apple tart which came with vanilla bean ice cream and was the soft punctuation to a day well lived.

I thank my stars for the french shortcrust pastry recipe that makes my world go round.

And while I am thankful, I wish to express how much I appreciate my space and that it offers me a place to bolster change, to illicit inspiration and to work with purpose.

The free yoga classes don't hurt either.

Certainly not one of their favorite things in the world, but necessary from time to time, the dogs got their act cleaned up a bit too.

I hope to keep the momentum and wrap up some work next week so I can fully enjoy the company that is coming next weekend. Although it is a relief to know that "alone" is not a dirty word, I am very excited to share the company of some very inspiring people next weekend.

trees are the bees knees

2010-01-10T18:52:00.000-08:00

This past week has been filled with the shadow of every tree, from one side of the planet to the other. On Thursday, my friend Sara and I rode the MAX to the World Forestry Center for a beer/wine tasting event and then attended the Lan Su Chinese Garden in Chinatown on Saturday. Informative and stunningly beautiful and un-documented because I forgot to charge my camera battery. So, you'll have to settle for links this time around.

If I am ever lucky enough to have my own backyard, I hope that it exhibits the same type of frondescence, a fancy word for vegetation that I like to say because I just learned it, that is the delicate growth of Asian landscape. I have always been so drawn to Asian design, craft, art and foliage. It's delicate and purposeful and I so admire the quality of patience, ability and intention in every step of the design. Even the cobblestone floral design, fettered with moss, was striking and fluent with the harmony of the entire garden. After reading a little bit about it, it is evidently the "most authentic Chinese garden outside of China." I am looking forward to spring because the blooms that some of these plants and trees must offer are no doubt nothing less than amazing.

To round out the tree tour, we went to the current book arts exhibit at 23 Sandy Gallery. What better way to follow the path of the tree than to one possible and final resting place, the book. There were some impressive pieces, one that encompassed the entire length of Hamlet with what appeared to only offer Ophelia's part as it was also titled by the character. It cut and paste only segments dedicated to Ophehlia on it's thick, blood-red pages, reconstructing the shape of the character as normally understood in the full context. That was my read, but the artist could have been making a far different statement. My other favorite was titled "In the Gutter" which is best outlined in the artist's statement which can be found on the gallery's website as well and is quoted here:

The artist''s book, In the Gutter, begins with a page spread that is unreadable. As the reader moves through the book, the text in the gutter slowly becomes pinker. On reaching the final page, the illuminated text is readable, revealing a series of explicit sexual terms.

In other news, I have also been mulling over one of my many new, I won't say resolutions because in my world those things are unresolved, unrealistic and usually unattainable, so I will use the word perspectives. One of my new perspectives this year is to be brave. The other, available. And so, I signed up for two meet-up groups in Portland to get out and make new friends. One is a dachshund play group and the other a microbrew tasting group. I hope to find some like-minded people here. More groups are waiting to be joined, but at least I have a place to start.

Wish me luck.

a new year

2010-01-02T16:57:00.001-08:00

Had a swell time over New Years in Seattle with my Minneapolis friends, Ryan, Clay and Marcia. Apart from over-consumption, three hours of sleep and having to drive for almost 4 hours hung-over, it was a great way to start the new year. More pics on my flickr. They are less than amazing. Aparently alcohol and cameras are not a fitting match where I am concerned, but there are a few good ones in there (those that a stranger took). Happy New Year friends.

hood

2009-12-27T09:33:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, we went to Mt. Hood and visited a snow park with the dogs, who felt right at home. Since Christmas was sunny in Portland, it was nice to see some powder deep snow over the holiday and watching the dogs fly threw it and unwittingly diving into the hidden snow pockets was wildly entertaining. I didn't realize just how snow-covered Hood really is until I was traipsing through it in the snow park which was entirely dressed in white. It was stunningly beautiful.

There are more pictures on my Flickr.

After we got home and ate some left over Turkey, we met up with some friends to see Sherlock Holmes, which was engaging and visually compelling, which I can vouch for, sitting in the first few rows.

After this I won a Scrabble match which I wouldn't normally mention, except I actually got a scrabble with the word "nitrates". I was pretty freakin' excited. I live life right on the edge you know.

I hope your holiday was equally as enjoyable.

schnitzelwich

2009-12-22T18:24:00.000-08:00

Portland seems to be a food cart cornucopia. There are options, atypical of what the normal food cart fair furnishes, and after recently reading the local foodie magazine, Mix, I stumbled upon "Tabor" a Czech food cart located in one of Portland's many food-cart colonies that made it a must-eat. After checking out the menu, I was determined to stuff my face with their highly advertised schnitzelwhich, a breaded schnitzel with a parika spread, sautéed onions, horseradish and lettuce on a crisp ciabatta roll.

After a nice walk with the doggies at Hoyt Arboretum, a long brisk walk downtown (parking is generally a no-go anywhere near the heart of downtown), I did indeed stuff away and it was gooooood. A twist on the typical Czech schnitzel, but still very tasty and cooked to perfection. And now, I can "czech" one off the list (c'mon, I never get to make those jokes) and look forward to trying Bosnian-style pitas, crepes, waffles, Nigerian stews and I could go on and on and on with the choices. Best try most of the them in the spring/summer tho.

OK. So, it might look kinda gross, but I assure you, it will be the best doughnut you'll ever have, or at least, whichever you choose at Voodoo. This one was not my personal choice, but one I would definitely order on the next run to Voodoo Doughnut. The "O'l Dirty Bastard", pictured to the left, is a peanut butter drizzled, oreo cookie covered, chocolaty mess of dough.

I played it safe with Portland's "official" doughnut, the Portland Cream Doughnut (my personal favorite) and a sugar cake doughnut. Voodoo is a Portland staple that I will definitely be frequenting. Visitors to my new domicile will be dragged there, maybe even more than once.

invictus

2009-12-16T15:32:00.000-08:00

A friend recently went and saw Invictus in the theater and I was curious what that meant exactly and so I looked it up. It was a poem written by William Ernest Henley, an English poet. I wasn't sure if this was what the movie title's inspiration was drawn from, but the premise seems to align especially to the poem. Not only was it relatable to the Nelson Mandela sports movie, but it spoke to my own experience. And although these lines are far bigger than how they relate to me, they moved me enough to share them with you.

Out of the night that covers me, 
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
 I thank whatever gods may be 
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
 I have not winced nor cried aloud. 
Under the bludgeonings of chance 
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears 
Looms but the Horror of the shade, 
And yet the menace of the years 
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate, 
How charged with punishments the scroll, 
I am the master of my fate: 
I am the captain of my soul.

park your butt and eat your pudding

2009-12-16T09:57:00.000-08:00

*click on image to enlarge view - Mom and I

I never much looked like a little girl. I think my hair finally surpassed my shoulders in the 6th grade for the first time in my life. Running around half naked with fair skin and blond hair in Africa, early on in life, among the native Arab children in 100 degree heat and 90% humidity, didn't lend itself to braids and bows, dresses and mary-janes.

My mother was never a girly-girl either; no makeup, no hair product, no sparkly jewelry or shiny wardrobe and I think I took after her in that regard. She is just a natural woman who spends more time caring for those around her than she does herself; selfless and loving and I miss her so.

I miss both of my parents, who are a country and an ocean away now. I am not sure why all of the nostalgia lately. Looking through old family photos while going through old shoe boxes probably had something to do with it. There is something so comforting in knowing that I had such a special childhood and shared a bond with my family that even distance can't touch. And there is also great comfort in knowing that Delta has flights daily.

And although I can only get a trace of this memory (i think i was 2 or 3) I somehow remember the taste of this pudding, which I can only describe as the most glorious vanilla/caramel childhood treat that I am sure ever existed, at least in my humble little universe. Viva le France and their untouchable pudding!

step 1: do something productive today

2009-12-14T16:21:00.000-08:00

And I did. Thankfully, with the help of rainy weather and a self imposed kick in the ass, I did something productive today. I started a fishing tale, a personal blog that has been on the impending to do list for quite some time. And although there are no earth shattering news breaking here, I have accomplished my first personally important goal since moving. Now if I could just maintain this slight momentum and remember that finding related products for table tents, although important for a few big reasons, is only temporary and a path to personal self-fulfillment is still very much the accessible reality that it once was. Hooray for me!

And to get some semblance of the Christmas spirit, I went to a local market and picked up a small tree over the weekend and a few trimmings despite my internal moral struggle (i think you may know what i mean). Although my only decoration and one that I wasn't sure I could handle, I am happy to have the comforting smell of fir filling my apartment for the next couple of weeks. AND, to fan the shy flames, I also went to my apartment complex's Christmas Party, mingled and won a gift card. But, more importantly, I made two new friends, named Sara and Sarah. That's right, Sara, Sarah and Clara.

I am looking forward to a new year full of adventures, new people, a new job and tales to write about. In the meantime, there is room for making work, research, learning new things and hopefully, if I can manage it, a new woodworking class next month. Thanks for the read and the continued encouragement and support. I couldn't get the worm on the hook without you.

Clara

Oh, and the image above, in case you were curious, is of me kissing my mom's nose when I was a little girl, when we were living in France. There is a series of photos that are near to my heart that perhaps I will share in their original form in a future post. A large part of a fishing tale is my journey to rediscover happiness, in whatever form it chooses to present itself. Supremely sentimental, I know, but really the most fundamental thing I think we are all looking for said out loud.