a former terrorist

Arranged marriage

2012-06-18T03:48:00.000+04:30

Arash Sameti: Colonel Amiri insists to be called colonel by friends and family. Many still does not know his first name and just use the term Colonel to refer tohim. Retired about 8 years ago from Iranian Armed forces, he works as a consoler for a private company. He lived with his wife and two daughters in a military compound before he retires.

Recently the Amiri`s Family has under gone a huge cultural dilemma when the youngest daughter of the family, Mona told her parents that she has met someone on the internet who has proposed to her. "It was totally un acceptable for my parents, since they have traditional view towards the marriage." says Mona.

Mona is a graduate student of political science and a successful researcher in school. she mentions," I was mainly focused on my studies and researches and at the side I was studying English." Therefore as recommended by her English tutor, she joined a group of online Iranian students who exercised English using chat. She says, "it was nothing at first. I considered him as one of my classmates; he was just a Cyber classmate."

Mona`s older sister, Samaneh got married 5 years ago to son of his father`s colleague from the military. It was an arranged marriage. That is the groom`s family approached the bride family and propose for their son.

Arranged marriages are still practiced in Iran. There is no reliable statistic about arranged and non-arranged marriages in Iran, but Dr J.Shamsi an Iranian psychiatrist believes that still more than 60 present of the marriages throughout the country are arranged.

In the traditional way of arranged marriage, the groom`s family would propose to the bride`s family and after one or two meetings they decide if the couple are able to get married.

Although in the recent years the tradition has gone under practical changes and parents allow their children to be the final decision makers.

"my family is a total tradition family. My father had his military discipline at home too." Says Mona, "Samaneh`s husband family first contacted my mother. My brother in law`s mom called my mom and said that they want to set a visit to our house as an all women party. There they proposed to my mom that they want my sister to be their daughter in law." she adds.

The first few proposal ceremonies are very official. In some of these gatherings the men are not present and usually it takes a while till actually the young couple are able to talk to each other privately. As I mentioned, the more open mind families allow their children to be the final decision makers, although it seems that there are still total arranged marriages being practiced throughout the country.

"It was a challenge for me and also for my family. I could understand them. My older sister had gotten married through the method that they like and recognize the best and then i came in and told them that I want to get married to an internet person. There is a huge misjudgement bout people who get to know each other over internet and especially if they decide to get married." Mona explains.

the young man from the internet is a successful student too. he had les problems to convince his family into his decision to marry Mona. After a month of chatting which was supposed to be English exercise, he took the first step to ask her out on a date. "He was very nice and caring, with a great knowledge of English language. Although I did not hesitate to say No to his offer. Then he insisted and tried to convince me." says Mona. He was successful to persuade Mona to go out and gradually they had regular meetings in a decent coffee shop in Tehran. one thing led to another, the young couple fell in love.

"Many families especially the girls family disagree the internet marriage." says doctor Shamsi. "There is where the problem begins"

As doctor Shamsi explains, according to Iranian law, permission of father or a male legal guardian of women and girls is required for legalization of marriage in a marriage notarize office. in the absence of such permission, or if the parents of the girl express their disagreement with the marriage, the court rules about the decision. The court relies on a legal interview done by a trusted psychiatrist. he says," i do my best to help the couples."

Fortunately for Mona, she did not have to go through such a problematic system. She was able to convince her parents into an agreement. "I knew that they disagree, so i tried my best to show them that he (my fiancé now) is not just an anonymous person from the internet. First I explained everything about him to my sister and brother in law and asked them to be my lobbyists. Then with their help and my own efforts, I was able to convince my father to meet my future husband. That went very good! My father actually liked him after he got to know him! Parents usually think that people from the internet are a bunch of losers and liars. My fiancé is none of those!" she says.

After a while, Mona and her fiancé was able to get engaged. They decided to postpone their marriage after her graduation. They came a hard way in a traditional society that is conflicting with the new means.

http://www.expontomagazine.nl/home/buitenland/item/1842-arranged-marriage.html

Taarof

2012-06-18T03:46:00.002+04:30

Arash Sameti: Cultural differences can be funny and interesting. There are many rituals in one culture that are not practiced in other cultures, and can also seem silly to people from other places of the world.

One particular ritual in Iranian culture that is not practiced in the west is called Taarof. It is to suggest things to a guest or friend, or to refuse something kindly and not frankly. It includes a vast category of behaviours, actions, and words in relation with others. Usually the intention is towards a guest or an older, respected person.
In other words, when you use the power of Taarof, you are showing attention and respect to the other party. That is in fact interpreted as respect. For example when a Persian host offers you something to eat, let`s say some fruit, he/she will not just leave it on the table and expect you to help yourself. Usually he will call upon you to take some for 3-4 times. It is the same thing with offering food. The host might try to add food to your plate, even though you do not want to have any more!
Taarof as a part of Persian culture should not be considered as lying. Not practicing it can harm a relationship. A friend of mine had a problematic feast with his family because he believed that they did not Taarof him enough and he considered it as an insult.
Based on a true story that happened to me personally, I am going to try to explain this cultural behaviour in words.
One day after the regular working hours, I went to my bosses house to explain things to him about a conference he’d be having the next day.
When I rang the bell at his apartment, I expected him to show up by the door and I would hand him the necessary papers and have a few words. Instead I heard his voice that was calling me to go upstairs to his apartment. I explained very respectfully that I am fine down there, but his words were so strong and motivating: he really wanted me to be inside and not just by the door. Basically he was not using Taarof when he asked me to go upstairs.
He was waiting for me right by the door when I got to the door way. With a nice little smile he invited me to go inside. I had to Taarof again but he overpowered and pushed me inside. Passing a door can be a time-killing process in Iran. You should wait for the older person to go first, while as a guest he wanted to give me the privilege with a little push forward on the shoulder.
While I was explaining my suggestions to my boss, his attractive wife entered the room. She was holding a tray with three cups of steaming tea on it. I got up from my seat. It is another show of respect to an older, respectful person or a woman. You should fully stand up to say hello. She asked me to remain comfortably and put the tray on the table. ''Please take some'', she said warmly. And added that the cup of tea is made for me and there is no need to practice Taarof on that.
She pulled out a box from underneath of the table, where there was an opening. She opened it and I saw colourful, tasty looking Baklavas covered with tiny pieces of pistachios. “Oh God, I do need some sugar”! She brought the dish close to me so I could pick some. '' It looks so delicious'', I said and took just one. Enthusiastically they told me to take more. The first Taarof must be politely refused. ''I am fine, thanks'', I answered. I have to wait for the second Taarof to see what is going to happen. He insisted by adding, ''Come on, don’t Taarof here''. So I helped my self with some more.
When my word was done with my boss, I looked at my watch. I guess it is an international gesture meaning that I have to leave. Another version of Persian Taarof involves in how to say goodbye in a respective manner. While saying ‘‘With your permission, I have to leave now'' in such situations, the host will definitely insists that you should stay longer. My boss and his wife did the same thing. Very kindly they asked me to stay for dinner. ‘‘Where do you want to go?'', he said and his wife added, ‘‘Dinner is almost ready.'' Now it’s up to me as the guest to figure out between regular Taarof or a real will. Their words are strong enough and the lovely fragrant coming from the kitchen is tempting. However I have things to do. I thanked them and explained for them that I have to go. '' I just hope that you are not Taarofing'', she mentioned. ''No, never'' I replied.
I once had a visitor from the United States. He was a fellow journalist and photographer. We travelled to the ancient city of Shiraz, which was the capital of ancient Persia, so he could make some photos from Persepolis. He was also interested in the old Bazar of the town which has more than decade old architecture. We found an old shopkeeper in Bazar. Sitting in his small shop, he was selling medical plants or as it is called in Persian, Attari. He was very nice and hospitable. After taking some pictures he asked me as a translator to ask my American friend how he likes Iran and what he thinks about the country and people. Than, very warmly he invited us to his home for dinner. ''Go head, take your photos and then com back here so we will go to my place for dinner.'' he said. Of course my American friend knew about Taarof issue very well since we had already discussed that. So he put his right hand on his chest, just like what Iranians do, and replied, '' I appreciate your offer so much but there are things we have to do. '' I translated and then the shopkeeper said in Persian,'' Tell him that we Iranians have no Taarof!!'' After I interpreted word by word for the American journalist, we both exploded into laughing. It was the ultimate Taarof!

an introduction by Massoud Khodabandeh

2008-06-01T09:08:00.002+04:30

Mr. Arash Sametipour, recruited as a teenager by the MKO in Washington DC through their agent in the USA, Alireza Jafarzadeh. Sametipour was trained in the MKO's terrorist camps in Iraq before being sent to perform an armed operation in Tehran. He tried to kill himself at the time of his arrest by taking his cyanide pill and exploding a grenade. He survived but lost his right hand. He served 4.5 years of his sentence in Evin prison and is now continuing his study as well as working as a language teacher. Sametipour was recently married.

NPR

2008-06-01T08:54:00.000+04:30

Efforts to Return Exiles to Iran Problematic
(Mike Shuster reporting from Tehran)
NPR: Morning Edition, April 28, 2008
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89990562
RENEE MONTAGNE, host:
Since the U.S. invasion of Iraq, Iran's government has regarded Camp Ashraf warily, but some Iranians are helping MEK members get back home. NPR's Mike Shuster reports from Tehran.
MIKE SHUSTER: Like Batul Soltani and thousands of others, Arash Sametipour could've been trapped in Camp Ashraf all these years. He joined the MEK in the 1990s, and in 2001 he was sent from Iraq into Iran to assassinate an Iranian general. The plot failed, he lost his right hand in a grenade explosion and was imprisoned in Iran.
Now he runs the Nejat Society in Tehran, a non-governmental group that helps former members of the MEK who want to get out of the organization. Recently Sametipour was in Baghdad to meet with some of them, who he agrees are in an impossible situation.
Mr. ARASH SAMETIPOUR: Since these people, they did not have any legal documents and the situation in Iraq was really critical for them, we decided to provide them any humanitarian help that we could, and I think we were successful in that point.
SHUSTER: Of the MEK militants in Camp Ashraf, more than 200 have left the camp on their own and have been living in the transitional camp the U.S. set up nearby. These people, Sametipour says, want to leave the MEK but don't necessarily want to return to Iran.
Iran's government still views the MEK as a threat and wants to see the group disbanded, according to Ali Resaid(ph), the director of the North America department of Iran's foreign ministry.
Mr. ALI RESAID (Iranian Foreign Ministry): They are a very serious and very dangerous terrorist group and it is recognized by European and even the U.S. government.
SHUSTER: Iran's government would like to take custody of the leaders of the MEK and put them on trial, says Sametipour.
Mr. SAMETIPOUR: They were involved in brainwashing process and terrorist operations inside Iran. Iranian authorities have announced that these people must be prosecuted in Iran. I think a list of 50 to 60 people are there who Iranians want them. They want them to be prosecuted.
SHUSTER: But it is the position of the Iranian government that the vast majority of those who live in Camp Ashraf are free to return to Iran without punishment, says Ali Resaid.
Mr. RESAID: For those of them who have repentance of their activities, also those of them who are not seriously involved with any assassination or these sort of things, we have amnesty for them.
SHUSTER: The Nejat Society has tested Iran's offer of amnesty. Arash Sametipour says his group has helped repatriate several hundred former MEK members, and he says they are now living normal lives in Iran.
Mr. SAMETIPOUR: Right after fall of Saddam Hussein, Iranian government had announced officially that there is an amnesty for those who are willing to return home. We have talked to many authorities over here and this is a truth that, you know, when they come back over here to Iran there won't be any prison waiting for them. They can just live like any other citizen.
SHUSTER: When Sametipour was in Iraq recently he concluded that the U.S. is not really sure what it wants to do with those in Camp Ashraf. Some in the U.S. government, he fears, may still be tempted to use them as a bargaining chip with Iran.
That may also be the case between the government of Iran and Iraq. The issue was on the agenda when Iran's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, traveled to Baghdad in early March for talks with Iraq's president, Jalal Talibani. Iraq's government may simply take custody of these people if they are released by the U.S. In that case their fate may figure significantly in the future of relations between Iraq and Iran.
Mike Shuster, NPR News.

report

2008-06-01T08:50:00.001+04:30

Familiar Faces: Staff writer Scott Peterson has written several stories about Iran's largest opposition group in exile, the Mujahideen-e Khalq (the MKO or MEK). But this time when he checked up on those who had been trickling back to Iran from Iraq , he found a surprise at the offices of the Nejat or Rescue group that helps former MKO members reintegrate into civilian life in Iran.
Nejat is run by former MKO militants. Among them, Scott recognized Arash Sametipour, an English-speaker who had conducted a failed assassination attempt and then blown off his right hand while trying to kill himself to avoid capture.
"The last time I saw him, he was wearing a prison uniform in a Tehran jail," says Scott, who had interviewed Mr. Sametipour along with several other MKO prisoners. "Today he is the main liaison between Nejat and the Red Cross. He is now trying to find a home for those 100 or so MKO members who recently left Camp Ashraf in Iraq."
– David Clark Scott
World editor

who is MKO

2008-06-01T08:20:00.002+04:30

MKO was founded in 60s by some Islamic - leftist students. some were sympetizers of Iranian communist party (Tudeh) and others were extreme muslims.
most of the leaders were executed by the Shah`s Savak, while Mr Masoud Rajavi, the recent leader of MKO survived due to cooperating with Shah`s secret services.
After revoloution in Iran, Rajavi became the first and only leader of MKO.He Started armed struggle to obtain power in Iran. He gradually turned MKO to a cult of personality. He made a deal with Saddam and transfered his forces to Iraq (where 3200 MKO terrorists are kept in a military base called Ashraf)
Rajavi was lost after US attack to Iraq. while many believe that he is with the CIA; US policy towards this group is a confusion.
Good terrorists or bad terrorists...that is the question!

i was a terrorist

2008-05-29T11:32:00.000+04:30

i was a terrorist