Today would of been your 88th birthday. I remember when I was little we always used to celebrate our birthday’s together since yours was exactly a week before mine. You would always remind us that it was the first day of Spring. A season full of growth, color and renewed hope. When, we had our second IUI done a few weeks ago, I knew I would find out today if it had worked. I imagined what it would be like to tell you that we were expecting your great grand baby. But, Grandma, it didn’t work again. I wish you were here to hold me in your arms and tell me it was going to be okay. This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I’m not sure what is worse, being so full of hope and being disappointed, or living a life without any hope at all. I wish that you were here to give me advice. The only thing I have now to comfort me is the beautiful memories I have of you. We used to get so excited for Easter Mass at St. Peter’s church. We would get pretty new dresses and the night before you would get us to help pin curl your hair. The first warm days we would always be outside on your porch swing enjoying the weather. You would watch us ride our bikes and be waiting for us when we got home from school. I miss you so much. We are trying to wait for our miracle. We know that we have an angel in heaven looking out for us. I will try not to be sad today and be grateful that you are home. I can imagine that you have the most beautiful wings to match your amazing spirit. I am so grateful that you were such a big part of my life and taught me how to love with my whole heart.

I love you Grandma,

Tee: Old Navy   Sweater & Jeans: Lane Bryant    Shoes: DSW    Bracelet: American Eagle

I won’t lie, I’m a little obsessed with these shoes. I ordered them and had to exchange them for a smaller size. I was heartbroken to find out they were sold out. However, I kept looking for a new pair of yellow shoes and decided to just check and see if they had any more in stock. Low and behold – ONE pair of my size! I couldn’t wait to get them and they definitely didn’t disappoint! So cute!! I can’t wear tall heels or flats so a wedge is the perfect compromise.

Sweater: Lane Bryant   Tank: Old Navy   Jeans: Old Navy

So, I did it. I took the plunge and ordered some colored denim. I really wasn’t sure what I was going to do with them. I’m definitely going to be on the lookout for some leopard shoes and cute spring tops to pair them with. For now, I love the black white and red combination!

Have a great weekend!

Jacket: Lane Bryant   Shirt: Lane Bryant(Last Year)   Skirt: Lane Bryant   Bag: Coach Outlet

So, this morning I decided that I wanted to try layering with a dress. I tried on probably 10 outfits and finally got frustrated and decided that this was the outfit I was going to wear and by then I was running late.  So, this is my What I Wore Wednesday with frizzy hair just to keep it real.

Dress: Target (Similar)  Tights & Sweater: Lane Bryant  Shoes: Naturalizer Sunglasses: DKNY

I’ve signed up to begin a 4 week program with Tina Reale from Best Body Fitness and am looking forward to seeing what kind of workouts she has in store for me! I hope this is the boost I need to get back into a routine again!

Have you taken the plunge into colored denim yet? I have been very tempted by posts on plus size fashion blogs like The Curvy Fashionista and Life & Style of Jessica Kane. And, of course not only are the plus size fashion bloggers digging this trend but so are some of my other favorite bloggers like Kendi Everday.

What do you think?  I love all the colors and would love to try my hand at styling them. Maybe there will be some pictures to come!

I told myself I wasn’t going to write about this. I wasn’t going to share the hurt and heartbreak that we’ve been going through. Honestly, for as long as I could remember I didn’t think that I wanted a child. I have never been particularly drawn to children. I think they are adorable and I love buying gifts for them. It wasn’t until I actually had the amazing experience of being a god mother that really hit home for me. I love those two little boys more than anything. When my husband and I decided that we wanted a baby I thought we might have to try for a few months but ultimately we’d have a baby just like everyone else. However, one, two and finally three years past and our baby never came. Casey had testing done when he had Testicular Cancer in 2009 and we knew that everything was normal with him. It was my turn to get checked out.

We went back to the fertility doctor. She is very positive about our situation. After running some tests we were given the go ahead to try our first IUI ( intrauterine insemination). We were so very excited. The doctors told us it was all about the power of positive thinking. We let ourselves hope with all our hearts. I stopped using “if” we have children, and started using “when” again. We patiently (okay probably not patiently) waited out the two weeks agonizing over every symptom I was feeling and wondering whether or not the procedure worked.

We debated and debated over whether we would tell others. Casey didn’t want to tell anyone because he wanted it to be a surprise but I felt so much joy I had to tell my family. You know how that goes, before I knew it, almost everyone in my family and extended family knew. We were all praying that this would finally be our blessing. Last week we found out it didn’t work. At first, I wasn’t that upset. I think I was just telling myself that maybe it was a fluke and the test was wrong. But a few days later I found myself crying, with the most empty hollow feeling inside. My fragile hope had shattered and I desperately tried to put the pieces of it back together. We talked with the doctor and she wants us to proceed with our second IUI. I’ve begun taking the fertility medication once again and we will go for the procedure on March 5th. I still am not sure how to feel about it. I am still excited but ultimately wary. Of course, I still want a baby of our own more anything but I’m also scared of my heart shattering into a million pieces again. Having to tell everyone the procedure didn’t work was the hardest part. Everyone was so excited for us. I thought I may not tell anyone about the second try. That way if it didn’t work I wouldn’t have to tell anyone. But, ultimately I needed to shed the emotional burden of having to carry this secret. We suffer from infertility. It’s hard to see other people with their beautiful little children. It’s hard to see photographers posting maternity sessions on Facebook, it’s hard not to be jealous of the teen moms who had their babies on an accident. I find myself unfollowing and unfriending people on Pinterest and Facebook because it’s too hard to look at everything we want but haven’t been blessed with. It’s hard not to question why. Why us?

However, after all that we’ve been through we know this is just one more obstacle that we must overcome. This is our story so far.

And the winner is…

Congratulations Janice! You will definitely get to try the Blood Orange which is delicious and my favorite of the new flavors.  Your case of Chobani yogurt is on it’s way!

The wonderful folks at Chobani offered to let me try the three new flavors Apple Cinnamon, Blood Orange, and Passion Fruit. I had only been able to find one of them locally so of course I jumped at the chance. Last  night a whole case of yogurt was delivered to my door! Chobani Heaven!! I’ve tried all three flavors and absolutely LOVE them! Blood Orange may have knocked Pineapple down from my favorite of all time and the Apple Cinnamon makes a perfect morning snack with vanilla almond granola. YUM! The Passion Fruit is tangy and has a wonderful crunch thanks to the nutty seeds. I’m in love. The best part? I get to share a case with one of my lucky readers!!

How to enter (Required):

1. Leave a comment on this post telling me your favorite Chobani Flavor or the one you’re most looking forward to trying. (Don’t forget to  enter your email address!)

Additional entries (Optional):

2. Follow my blog by email and leave a separate comment telling me you did so. (If you already follow, just let me know in another comment.)

Open to US residents only. Chobani will ship the yogurt straight to you so I will contact the winner via email following the end of contest on Thursday February 16th at 9pm.

*These opinions are my own but the samples I reviewed were provided by Chobani at no cost to me.

The Rules

1. Post these rules.
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Go to their blog and tell them you’ve tagged them.
6. No stuff in the tagging section about you are tagged if you are reading this. You legitimately have to tag 11 people.

So here we go ….

Jenn’s Random 11

1. I have a deaf cat, a cat who cannot smell and my Siamese who’s mostly normal.
2. I am three classes away from my MLS (Masters in Library Science).
3. I’m obsessed with bags and purses. I have WAY too many.
4. I still used an old fashioned paper planner by Vera Bradley. I order lots of stickers and make my schedule really pretty to look at.
5. I am constantly listening to audio books. They have almost replaced written books for me.
6. I hoard notebooks. I love them almost as much as I love pens.
7. I hate to cook, even though I’m good at it. My husband does most of the cooking.
8. I love spending time with all my BFF’s, each one brings something amazing to my life. They have become part of my family.
9. I have bought tons of craft supplies lately but haven’t finished any of the projects.
10. I paint my nails a different color every week.
11. I had clowns at my first birthday party and in every picture I’m crying my head off.

My Tagees

1. Stef at See Through
2. Roz at Weighting for50
3. Carrie at Ginger Lemon Girl
4. Pono
5. Tom
6. Mrs Fatass
7. Grace at Health Dreaming
8. Fit and Free Emily
9. The Fotographing Fat Kid
10. Monica Wants it. 
11. TJ’s Test Kitchen (She tagged me and I loved her answers so she’s part of my 11)

TJ’s Questions