A Goofy Fellow

Rant: Teachers

2011-04-21T18:11:00.000-07:00

Reading about test taking annoyances really got me thinking about what makes me angry in the classroom. BestLikeAMuh covered the students we all hate, so I figure I'll focus on the teachers. No matter how many times I use ratemyprofessors.com, I always have at least one bad teacher. Here are the kinds of teachers I hate.

1. Late/Lazy Teachers

I've had some continuously late teachers over the course of the semester, and they always have the worst excuses for their laziness. I'm quite lazy myself, but if you're teaching a class, you should be there on time. I had one teacher who consistently showed up 10 minutes late to class. One time she was even 30 minutes late. My classmates and I wanted to leave every time, but we usually had specific things to turn in or get done. Then that same teacher would keep us in class late because she "usually lets us out early." WORST.

The only benefit to lazy teachers is that they frequently have to cancel classes due to "personal reasons."

2. "The notes are online, but I add things in during lecture"

This is almost always a lie, and I hate it. It is a tactic to get kids to come to class, but it doesn't even work. Kids still don't come to class. And I, a student who goes to class, am forced to pay attention to the teacher's every word in case he/she says something that could be put on the test. I usually realize after the first test that the exams are made up entirely from the book/lecture and not what the teacher says. Then I don't pay attention.

3. Teachers who don't use the REQUIRED book

"Don't forget to buy the required books for this class. They are important!" - We've all heard that before. We listen and ultimately spend way too much money on books we never need or use. Then we sell them back to the university (or someone else) for almost nothing. I try to wait and feel out the class before I buy my books, but I still tend to ignore some of the books.

4. "Let's sit in a circle!"

College is not kindergarten. The last thing I want is everyone looking at me when I say something, especially if no one agrees with what I'm saying. Instead of continuing the discussion, everyone just looks at their desks or phones in order to avoid eye contact with me or whoever last spoke. I've only had one class where a circle setting has worked well. The circle just isn't worth it. People always come in late and have to awkwardly take a chair from the middle of the room and shove it between two already cramped students. There's a lot of moving around before class, and then it is courteous to put the chairs back afterward. Circles, squares, ovals, stars - never a good idea.

5. Dinosaurs

I'm not saying all old teachers are bad, but I hate it when teachers refuse to adapt to new technology. I cringe every time I see this in a classroom:

The overhead projector shown above is no doubt much nicer and cleaner than any projector my teachers use. Old projectors tend to have blotches on the lens and are usually blurry. They are horrible for taking notes, especially when the teacher uses a stapler as a paper weight (it covers up half of what I'm trying to write down). There are new, nice projectors that colleges have spent money on - use them. Also, you're a teacher - learn how to use the online grading system and email set up by the school. It will make things much easier for everyone.

I had one teacher who refused to do anything online because he was afraid of viruses. I had another teacher who didn't know how to work a VCR, yet showed a bunch of movies in her class (a student worked the VCR). Aren't VCR's supposed to be from an "older generation" of people? Kids today don't even know that they are. Technology is supposed to make things easier, yet the continuous refusal to use new things makes things harder on students.

I know there are probably many more teachers I hate, but those are the top five. Hopefully I won't run into any of them ever again.

Rant: I Hate Long Coats

2011-04-18T21:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know it is now spring and I know it is coming to a point where coats are despised by everyone. But it snowed yesterday in my hometown, so this post gets a pass. Also, rants are uncontrollable fits of rage and I cant keep myself from posting them (even if they are about women's fashion).

I’ve seen an absurd number of girls wear this coat or similar coats this past winter… and I really hate it. Long coat might not be the correct name, but that isn't the point of this rant. I just don’t see why the coat has to be so long. My kneecaps don’t need to be protected by my coat. I have another article of clothing to protect my knees - pants. I don't care if it's fashionable; chop off the bottom and make another coat.

This coat makes anyone who wears it look homeless. You could take a great looking girl and put her in this coat and I would toss a few quarters her way in hopes that she spends it on food rather than meth . I’m a guy so I appreciate seeing more of girls. If I was a single guy trying to pick up a girl, I'd be even more infuriated. How are you supposed to know what they look like? If you pair the long coat with the summer-favorite gigantic sunglasses, there would be no need for a Witness Protection Program. It'd be impossible to tell who anyone was.

Also, the coat is puffy and rigid. With this coat, the shape stays circular as if it were held in place by a wire frame. I feel like girls could just crouch down in the coat and live inside their impenetrable fortresses. Those things are certified fallout shelters. I don't even think these can be called coats.

If you're a girl, don't wear one of these.

I Once Turned a Girl into a Lesbian

2011-04-17T19:11:00.000-07:00

Since I like to start things out right, I decided that the first post of this blog would be about the time I turned a girl into a lesbian. This isn't a story of shame or embarrassment, but one that left me proud and with a sense of accomplishment. Everyone thinks turning a girl into a lesbian is something to be ashamed of (George Costanza), but it isn't.

During my freshman year of college, I took a writing course where I sat next to a girl named Jan (Not her real name for obvious reasons). She seemed like a nice girl and I talked to her every class because I literally had no one else to talk to. I never talked to her outside of class and I only grudgingly accepted her friend request on Facebook. I wasn't interested in a relationship with her because I have a girlfriend. Besides, Jan was attractive in the way lo-fat yogurt is attractive (it's not what I really want).

But on this life changing (read: sexual preference changing) day, Jan followed me out of class and kept talking to me. We were no longer trapped in a room where I couldn't avoid her - and I STILL couldn't avoid her. She asked me if I wanted to get dinner later that day - just as friends, of course. Obviously I didn't want to go. But the clever girl already got me to reveal that I had absolutely nothing to do for the rest of the day. I'm a nice guy - sometimes too nice - and I tend agree to things (or say things) to avoid hurting someone's feelings. I agreed to go to dinner with her, but I made sure we went somewhere on campus so I didn't have to spend any real money.

My girlfriend, roommate, and floormates all told me it was a date - this was something I was desperately denying. It sounded like a date, but I hoped to God she didn't think it was one. Eventually, I went down to eat with her. It was awkward. She quickly revealed to me that she was bi-polar and she had recently been dumped by a long-time boyfriend. She had cheated on him because he cheated on her, blah blah blah. I immediately told her that I had a girlfriend and I found out that she was four years older than me. So I squashed her chances of getting with me right away, but I was a polite guy and continued to eat and talk with her. It went on for a while until it became so awkward that she told me I was allowed to leave if I didn't want to stay (I left). At this point, she was a lesbian.

The story isn't over, of course. I didn't yet know she turned into a lesbian. Fast forward to next week's class. We had new stories due to be peer-evaluated. We were supposed to trade with our neighbors and critique their work. What would Jan have in store for me?

It was a story about what she did over the weekend (basically the day after I had dinner with her). She found someone online - another woman. Jan went to this woman's hotel and they proceeded to do what lesbians do. I know many of you might be thinking "I love lesbians! That's hot!"

It wasn't. It was extremely awkward and weird knowing that I played a part in this. I don't remember many details because I scrubbed my brain over and over again after this ordeal. But I remember her comparing the woman's breasts to water balloons. She also mentioned that she was losing faith in males as of late (ex-boyfriend and apparently me). I read the story and gave her my best poker face as I tried to critique her writing. The later submitted this to the teacher when our stories were due.

Some guys might read this and think that this isn't an accomplishment. I was the last straw for the male sex, her last resort, the bottom of the totem pole. Maybe, but I had (and still have) a girlfriend, so that doesn't bother me in the slightest. And now I have a great (albeit weird) story to tell whenever I have the chance.