Akshay's Risky Business!

FACT: Women go crazy over Men's pictures too!

2010-07-04T18:47:00.005-07:00

well well well. Dont judge by the picture, shut those brains for once & read!

It's a well known fact that many guys comment on the online eye-candy shots of hot looking women. The content of the comments is not the discussion of this post, but we all do know how profane & embarrassing those comments can get. It always beats me to think about their intentions behind those comments. Bcs its not like the celebrity is an 'Internet cowboy' like the people who comment, she is a real world cowgirl ;)

Anyways, feminists are ready to pounce on you the moment you utter anything close to 'only men'. But I don't see them make any such attempts for the above case, they dont go on campaigns saying, "Why do only men get to make profane comments online" or similar. Double standards!!.

Well, I just happened to see the picture below of Christiano Ronaldo on his official twitter here & the comments below that picture are insane & viral. Check the comments here. I don't remember seeing a single guy I think, but women are going crazy there. A lot more bawdy comments are in languages other than English. So if you have the time & the need, please go ahead & translate those comments & you will be convinced that contrary to popular opinion, women do flick the bean to hot men's pictures online ;) #JustSaying!

How to get the Americans to like the original Football (or Soccer as they like to call it! ).

2010-06-15T16:27:00.006-07:00

Time & again I have been told that the reason Americans dont like to watch football is because this game does not have a strategy! It is too individualistic, they say! They like to see the coach call time-outs & discuss in detail about the game, in between the game, stopping game time!
Well, the only valid reason there that I can see is that it presents a commercial biggie for the sponsors & yup gives 'em viewers time to take a poop-break!

This strategy crap is all bull! football has as much as strategy as has good ol' basketball! Anyways, get 'em Americans to see football like this video depicts & before you know it, you will see USA transform into a football crazy nation! The real Football I mean :)

What do you do if theres no parking spot ?

2010-06-09T14:47:00.006-07:00

Right there must have been many days, when you had a hard time parking your car on a busy street, with no parking spots! Next time, don't park it 2 blocks away, instead just follow the directions of this very creative girl.

She just took it to a new level! *RespecT* !

What to do exactly, when theres no parking spot on the road?

P.S: 'Follow directions at your own risk' :)

February is 'THE BIGGEST' month in the USA

2010-02-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

February is The 'Biggest' month in USA (Quite ironically:D) . Here's why,

Last week was Superbowl- Feb 7th
It's the zenith in sports commercialization in USA, with the plethora of 'SuperBowl Ads' & the millions of dollars spent on each of the ads, by the big houses & the eagerly waiting consumers !

This week is my favourite- NBA ALLSTARS - Feb 14th

It is the Zenith in sports Entertainment !! With the whole "Slam-dunk contests", etc & the drama surrounding them-Remember Nate Robinson, Dwight Howard... & can there by any better entertainement in Sports, than seeing all your favorite stars play in the same team ? (ALL-Stars)

& hey V-Day is round the corner too aint it !!! It is the zenith of everyone's life ? isnt it, no one wants to be single on this day or any for that matter & valentines day honors the biggest need of mankind-companionship !!!

Surely Feb is he biggest Month ironically though it has the least number of days ;)

Tribute to Roger Federer!

2010-02-02T14:46:00.002-07:00

I know this is old, but this is important, because finally....finalllyyy I acknowledge that I have seen the 'worlds greatest tennis player'- Roger Federer grow up, right in front of me on the tennis court.

It took me 5 years to accept it! I prayed & hoped someone would come along & beat him, but sadly no to be. Records broken, young careers killlllled and other retired legends careers thrashed and yet he is only 28!!!

(My fav Agassi still has the Golden Slam :P)..

I finally bow to thee, out of awe, totally convinced & well.. speechless....RESPECT trulyyy !!!

This video puts words, pictures & emotions to my speechless state !! A great composition by ESPN, titled a letter to Roger Federer's children !! Speechless !

State of Emergency-Tornadoes- in Arizona :O

2010-01-21T15:41:00.001-07:00

Follow pictures of AZ storm during the week- Check the slideshow.

Funnel shaped tornadoes(in Scottsdale & Gilbert), flash floods, snow covers, broken tress & cars, Blizzards, Wind storms, Dust storms, etc

AriZona declares a 'state of emergency'. Tornado watch in maricopa county & Blizzard warning elsewhere in the state. Flash flood warning in Tempe. Winter storm warning, High wind & dust storm warnings everywhere in state.

I guess Tempe has already seen earlier, power failures, knocked down power lines, broken trees, flying debris, Mobile network failures, Internet failures, broken traffic signals, traffic jams, what not !!!! ...

whats in store next ? Hiding in bathtubs and basements ?

We might become the first people in AZ history to be killed by Tornadoes & blizzards :P !! Period.

Surprises me that this all is indeed AriZona !! :O

Happy New Year 2010 -'Once in a Blue Moon' literally

2010-01-01T16:25:00.000-07:00

This New year's Eve is 'once in a Blue moon', literally.

New Years Eve 'BLUEMOON first time ever since 1990.

Blue Moon is 2 full moons in a month. My plans for tonight are very clear :) and here are my shots of the Blue Moon

HaPPY NEW YEAR 2010

Whole Saga of 3 Idiots-5 Point someone could have been avoided

2009-12-31T16:33:00.001-07:00

Indian writer Chetan Bhagat's sincere grudge against the recent Hindi movie '3 Idiots' for giving him no proper credits for the story, when 70% of film was adapted from his book ('5 point someone').

So cheap 'Raj Kumar Hirani', agreed the plot was changed a little, but Chetan Bhagat needs a mention in the story credit....( not sure about the terms of the rights), but if it is adapted, I need to see his name in the credits for 'Story'. Period. Guess the terms might have changed, but doesn't seem like it, from Chetan Bhagat's own blog

I just feel like Chetan Bhagat has been cheated & i feel cheap about it, because I love the book & it is such a shame to see things of this sort happen at such a big event!!

Also I have utmost respect for Amir Khan, but after his comments on this, I might have to rethink. He is making baseless comments on a book he hasn't even read! Get a life buddy, just because you are in the movie, doesnt mean you will support it blindly. And I am pretty sure, you know the truth yourself, so please don't make a jackass of yourself here in front of everyone. 3 idiots was good. period. Amir acted well and guess that's where he shud stop !!!

Take of a Twenty something, on the Arizona cricket !

2009-12-15T16:52:00.004-07:00

Into my 2nd season of cricket at Arizona, people might feel I am too inexperienced to write an article on Arizona cricket. Sure, I might not know the history, but I sure have my own personal experiences to talk about. This is just my take on Arizona Cricket.

I came to this alien land of America almost 30 months back chasing my dreams. 30 months after that day, I am still chasing the same dream, though in a different plane. New possibilities in a new land also meant crushing other dreams, not possible here. The cricketing avenues that Arizona had to offer me, presented me with a new found hope to reestablish my interest to play the game of my dreams-cricket, yet again!! As part of these 30 months a lot of things changed about me, but one thing that remains intact, if not more, is my passion for the game of cricket.

Sure clubs like my own-'I Kingfishers', are trying to improve the conditions of pitches, they laid down the region's first 'Astroturf concrete' pitch in Snedigar Sports Complex, Chandler. The Umpiring standards are trying to be improved by introducing 'elite umpires' chosen from the players who passed a written Elite Panel Umpiring Assignment Test (UAT). There are things that need more work to be done- especially the unity between the different teams and representation of the players from this region, in the nation (USA). Also there is no body representing the interests of the players.

The best way to describe Arizona cricket would be 'weekend cricket'. Rant as much as you want, it's hard to ignore that. Sure, it's different than the other leagues & formats of cricket played in this region, in the seriousness with which the games are played here. I was surprised with the seriousness involved in the games here, and that is the biggest reason I got attracted to them. The ACA has a set of rules & regulations of their own within which the games are conducted. Rules are needed to maintain discipline & proper conduct in such an environment. But with rules come responsibilities & breach of rules. Tolerance is needed in such a scenario. Jumping for heads straightaway as the only solution for breaching conduct is 'immature'. The 'disciplinary procedure' involved leaves a lot to be desired. The worrying detail is all of it is done in the absence of the player involved. I can talk about this from my own personal experience(s). Sadly, this chapter had been 'coldly' finished, without any concern about my feelings, neither from my team nor the ACA.

I call for a body representing the interests of the players, which keeps track of the feelings of the individual players. When there is punishment, there needs to be a chance for redemption too. The judges are not correct always. This is where ACA lacks I feel, in trying to ape other leagues & professional cricket leagues by conveniently ignoring those details which they are not comfortable with. Taking strides is of primary importance to them, in which direction, is something that is not well thought about. The exact working details of the executive committee is something, I am not in a position to talk about.

But complain as much as you want, professional cricket per se ain't possible with the kind of lifestyle people have around here, with work/school as their primary motive. People are all busy in their own lives where they have no time to worry about players feelings, but indeed have time to punish them, to maintain discipline that is!! I am sure a lot of people reading this are already prejudiced and view this as an immature attempt by rebel, rather than the honest pleas of a victim!!

Harsha Bhogle is passionate in the way he writes articles about cricket. Sachin Tendulkar is passionate in the way he wants to be a champion for his country. Sreesanth is passionate about the way he wants instant stardom, forgetting that his bowling alone can get him the laurels he craves for. Commentators like Ian Chappel, Sunny or Mark Taylor are passionate about the way they find mistakes in the current players, forgetting easily they did the same few decades back.

In a similar way I am just passionate about the way I go about with my cricket on the field, leaving them on the field. Everyone has a different way of showing passion for the game, expecting everyone to react the same way is unreasonable, if not naivety. Sadly this tolerance is something I see lacking in the Arizona cricket among players & the so-called authorities.

Confessions of a Sleep-less-aholic !!!

2009-12-04T16:21:00.006-07:00

Sleep ooo dear sleeep !!!

It's such a shame that you are the scapegoat always
It's such a shame that everybody gets a preference over you always
It's such a shame I do everything I can, to resist and forget you always
You are the one that I need, they are the ones that I want
and yet this foolish self, prefers them at your cost always
Sleep ooo dear sleeep !!! Why ooo myyy !!

Remember the night that I had to study for an unprepared exam,
Remember the night when I did a movie marathon, one after another,
Remember the night when I decided to talk to that lady for hours & hours,
and do you remember the night when I decided to go to the bars and the pubs,
I left you alone on each one of those nights, took you for granted
Sleep ooo dear sleeep !!! Why ooo myyy !!

They tell me about the REM, the N2, the thetas, the deltas & the K-complexes,
They tell me about the optimal amounts, the sleep debts, & the dreams,
They tell me about the memory lapses, heart failures & hallucinations,
Yet foolishly I chase the wrong dreams, I succumb to the wrong drowse, and
Kill myself for people who don't care & things which don't matter, at your cost
Sleep ooo dear sleeep !!! Why ooo myyy !!

You are the oldest medicine in the book & the truest friend in a lifetime,
You are the true giver of happiness, peace, beauty & health,
You know i love you, but i chose not to have u ...
I need u back & I know you will embrace me with both arms,
I yearn for ya now, but I will conveniently forget ya later again !!!

It is ``I" that needs the beating & hope to see you tonight at 12 my place
I know I will forget ya, but I will be on my chair doing nothing useful.
So swing by me and take me into your dark solace once again..........

Sleep ooo dear sleeep !!! Yess its mee that needs you...... !!

©®™ Akshay Puli ™®©

Another year down and it is a full complete circle...

2009-11-27T16:19:00.002-07:00

Two years down the drain, but
one full completed circle ...in vain ?
Still fresh the first steps here, but
am due for more first steps elsewhere ?
Crossroads yet again... its a full complete circle !!!

Option option everywhere, but
not even one clear winner anywhere??
I think I like this one option, but
hey what about the other notion?
Crossroads yet again... its a full complete circle !!!

I wish at some point to do this, but
not at this very point....it will b amiss ??
What else do I do then, but
for this ...oh wait is this my Zen ??
Hell Noo it is just Crossroads yet again... its a full complete circle !!!

I asked you for this few years back, but
u blew me away like I was a fidgety crack ??
Now you come back to me willing, but
this position and state I am in is killinggg...
Hell yeah Crossroads yet again... its a full complete circle !!!

I can do nothing, but
crib about this supposed swing...
and just hope for the best, but
what if I realize theres no-more zest ...
I sure as hell don't wanna call it Crossroads yet again...
and hope it ain't a full complete circle yet again !!!

P.S : I hope you will keep waiting ... !!!!

©®™ Akshay Puli ™®©

'HANGOVER'- the movie. One of the best hilarious movies of this generation

2009-06-06T15:14:00.002-07:00

Yes, you just heard me make a bold statement and I just did !!!!! That's because I mean it and when I mean it, I do MEAN it :D.... Generally, I take some time thanks to my laziness to jot down a review, as you can see that I wrote about pulp fiction 4 years later. lol. But I couldn't hold back this time, the world needed to know and I needed to pass it on. I have my selfish reasons too, because I am so fed up with the current movies, being a movie addict ain't a good thing, lemme tell u that. So when I saw a refreshingly funny movie like ' Hangover' , I couldn't hold on to my balls anymore.

Darn it, I still have a hangover from the movie. It is different than a classic hangover in the sense that, the next day over when you wake up, you want more of the movie, unlike the classic hangover :D. It's a different thing though, that you end up having more of it, in either case. Before you start accusing me of creating too much hype about the movie, all I can say is, ' experience it yourself' and well you must have already seen the trailers, so you know what to expect ;)

The last funny movie I had seen was ' Tropic-Thunder' and it needed a herculean effort from Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey and Tom Cruise to make a classic like that, this one needed just 4 virtually unknown guys, a trip to Las Vegas for a bachelor party and a Hangover. The best part about the movie was it had a PLOT, yes you heard me, not those insanely unbelievable plots of the present day movies, but the age old classic- 'road trip to Las vegas for a bachelor party' plot, just more insanely written dialogues, direction, more fun and action !!! :D ....

I hate to dwell too much into the details of the movie, but it has everything one expects in a movie, to laugh. Also, for the sensitive people out there, don't blame me later for not telling you, because the boards in the movies display it loud and clear - 'R' rated movie, not that I care. And before I forget, 'Mike TYson' yes the Mike Mike Tyson , makes a special appearance in the movie with his tiger ;). Also the biggest star of the movie Alan Garner ( Zach Galifianakis) , gives you several tips on how to win 80 Grand in blackjack in Vegas, not once, but twice :D. Also the beautiful and hot, though turning old now, Heather Graham makes a comeback in this movie, in a very small role of a Hooker, ooops I meant a stripper , ooops, I meant an Escort :D.

So I don't wanna keep you bored here, it's high time you go to the theaters and witness the classic, that is ' The Hangover' . And please pay attention to every dialogue in the movie, because the more you pay attention to those details, the more you can laugh your asses off !!! Wait !! I heard someone say ' hangover 2' is on its way, but you know, what we say about sequels, don't u, well let's not worry about that for now, go have a Hangover !!!! :D

The Pulp Fiction story-My Obsession with movies!!

2009-05-22T21:37:00.002-07:00

So there are moments which change your life, moments you look back on your death bed, moments that will flash when you are breathing your last, well this is one such instance. It dates back to about 2 years from now. I was a normal kid, used to watch 'em damn movies like the Mummy, The Terminator, The Matrix, Speed, Rush hour, Mr and Mrs Smith, Jurassic Park, Titanic, etc, those which appealed to the common man and which were highly publicized and totally commercial in nature. I was not obsessed with movies, hell, I found 'em boring, except for those movies with cool graphics or you know boning scenes :D. It was all cool then.

Then one fine afternoon I saw this list of IMdb's ''Top 250 movies'' on my friends laptop and realized I haven't seen a 10th of them. High up on the list was a funny looking name, which made no fuckin' sense at all. PULP FICTION was its name. And I wished for the rest of my life, I never saw that name that day, as it changed my whole life. See. I sound melodramatic, like those people in movies, don't I. See that's why I keep blaming that day.

The moment I saw that name, I heard an internal voice, sounding excited, stimulated by that friggin' name and made me get a DVD immediately. Unable to resist the temptation, I gave in and lo the movie started playing and what's the first thing I see? Something like this "pulp /'p&lp/ n. 1. A soft, moist, shapeless mass of matter.
2. A magazine or book containing lurid subject matter and being characteristically printed on rough, unfinished paper. ". and I was like what ?? and then immediately we see 2 funny looking people, esp Honey-bunny, talking about robbing a restaurant. Yup, you heard me. Her cussing is enough to get you scared, forget all the funny things about her. Next up, 2 weird looking guys in tuxedos, one with hair like a Jheri curl joker, talking about Burgers, pilots and foot massages with pistols in their hands and then shoot people coldly amidst weird conversations about burgers and hell lot of cussing :D !!! and then Butch appears........ and rest as they say is history !!!!

And the next 2 hours were the best 2 hours spent of my life, the best roller coaster ride I have ever been on and Mind you, I did not follow anything. Great analysis and watching the movie over and over again, in the next few weeks, made things somewhat clear, but let me tell you no movie that I have ever seen in my entire life, was anything like this and will never be, because the next 2 years and about 1000 films old, I am still desperate, angry and willing to do anything to see a movie like this again. That day started my obsession with movies, I should say obsession with Pulp fiction, obsession to find a movie halfway close to this one. No movie ever came close to it and I am gettin tired now, guess the only solution is to keep watching this movie again and again, or writing articles like these or even better try making a movie like this again, which would fail badly, that explains why there is no Pulp Fiction Jr. Kill Bill came close, mind you, like 5 % close, but the difference is it had a plot, you see, thats the difference !!!!!

What is so different about this movie? Well, everything. For starters, there is no plot in this movie and this movie doesn't make sense, hell you will say aren't there millions of movies out there like that, well, this is different in the following sense. A movie like this can come out only when you put together the acumen of Tarantino, Cold chilly looks/dialogues of Samuel L Jackson, 'never-say-die' attitude of Uma Thurman, bullheadedness of Trovolta, a chicken like Tim Roth, total weirdness of Amanda Plummer (Honey-Bunny), Innocence and naiveness of Maria de Medeiros ( Fabienne), a stoned up complete bitch like Rosanna Arquette, a totally serious Harvey Kietel, The so called puppet Bruce Willis and the so called Don called Ving Rhames. See, you gte my point now, see how it is different from those other movies without a plot ?
The movie has no fuckin' genre. Comedy set against the backdrop of violence and yet is so totally serious, when there is hilariousness enclosed in every scene. The movie talks about the emptiness in the lives of the above characters, how everyone gets excited at the smallest of the most insignificant things, forgetting the big picture, quite easily. Things like, 'It’s not a motorcycle baby, it’s a chopper' or 'No No, they didn't have blueberry pancakes, I had to get buttermilk' ,when the most important things like death, injury,blood, etc are forgotten so easily . Let me not dig too deep now, I am tired of doing that now, I leave that to you, its your headache now.

With lines like these and acts like the ones above, this is a movie which is the only one if its kind and a repetition if which is not possible and would drastically fail. These are some of my favorite lines. Click here for a list of my fav lines/passages from this movie, from my other article about this movie.

'I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that'.
'Check out the big brain on Brett! You're a smart motherfucker'.
'That was pretty fucking trippy... heaaghhhh..haaahhaaahhaaa..'
'But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead nigger in my garage'.
'You know, touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain't the same fuckin' ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin' sport'.
'All right, everybody be cool, this is a robbery! Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of ya'!

So that day started my obsession and the day when I went into the dark lanes of 'finding a movie like Pulp Fiction' and hence became a movie addict. I am deep down this hole now, far from being rescued. My obsession is real bad, right now, ranging anywhere from 5-10 movies a week. I analyze movies, reserch 'em, critic 'em. Hell no I have no plans of becoming a director, but just hope to find a movie like Pulp Fiction again, which I know I never will. So I am caught in a vicious circle here and I know it and still can't get out of it. God, Please god !! give me salvation, show me a movie like Pulp Fiction, free me from this deadly world of movies. Please god, help me !!!! Please take me back to those wonderful days when I watched movies to see some cool graphics or someone boning. Please take me back when the world was still a good place to live in, those days when I wanted to spend my time fighting with real people, instead of trying to find a movie like Pulp Fiction. Darn I sound like 'em movie guys, don't I ? sheeeeshhh

That was pretty fuckin trippppppppppyyy.... hhahahahahhahaaha

A tribute to Pulp Fiction.

2009-05-22T21:35:00.002-07:00

I just love the movie Pulp Fiction. Refer to my other article, about my obsession with this movie . Here I present a few lines/passages from this movie, which make it the best movie that was ever made. If you have time to reach till here, then you definitely should have time to go over these lines now. Read the lines and you will know what I mean. The movie is a serious movie, with lot of violence and some serious cussing, but you need to read these lines to see the comedy trapped in that seriousness. With enthralling performances by an exciting starcast, I present to you PULP FICTION. Directed by Quentin Tarantino and starring Quentin Tarantino as (Jimmie), maa maaan Samuel L Jackson (Jules), the sexy Uma Thurman (Mia), John Trovolta (vincent), Tim Roth (Pumpkin), funny Amanda Plummer (Honey-Bunny/Yolanda), Maria de Medeiros ( Fabienne/Mongaloid), Rosanna Arquette (Jody), Harvey Kietel (The Wolf) , Bruce Willis (Butch) and Ving Rhames (Marsellus Wallace).

Starts with the definition of Pulp Fiction. make whatever sense out of it.

pulp /'p&lp/ n. 1. A soft, moist, shapeless mass of matter.
2. A magazine or book containing lurid subject matter and being characteristically printed on rough, unfinished paper.

I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that.

What does Marsellus Wallace look like?
What country are you from? "What" ain't no country I've ever heard of. They speak English in What? English, motherfucker, do you speak it?
Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!
Check out the big brain on Brett! You're a smart motherfucker.
But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead nigger in my garage.
When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?
I'm Winston Wolfe. I solve problems.
That was pretty fucking trippy... heaaghhhh..haaahhaaahhaaa..
How about you, Lash LaRue? You think you can keep your spurs from jinglin' and janglin'?

Butch: What now?
Marsellus: What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' niggers, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.
Butch: I meant what now between me and you?
Marsellus: Oh, that what now. I tell you what now between me and you. There is no me and you. Not no more.

Pumpkin: Garçon! Coffee!
Waitress: 'Garçon' means boy.

Jules:Yolanda, I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that's when motherfuckers accidentally get shot.

Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.

Jules:IN FACT, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOIN' IN THE BACK? YOU'RE THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO SHOULD BE ON BRAIN DETAIL! We're fuckin' switchin'! I'm washin' the windows, and you're pickin' up this nigger's skull!

Jules: Does he look like a bitch?Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch, Brett? And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.

Butch:So we cool?

Butch: Starin' at something, friend?
Vincent: I ain't your friend, palooka.
Butch: What did you say?
Vincent: I think you heard me just fine, punchy.
Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
Butch: I think I cracked a rib.
Fabienne: Giving me oral pleasure?
Butch: No, retard, from the fight.

Fabienne: Whose motorcycle is this?
Butch: It's a chopper, baby.
Fabienne: Whose chopper is this?
Butch: It's Zed's.
Fabienne: Who's Zed?
Butch: Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead.

The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slopes gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.

Esmeralda: What is your name?
Butch: Butch.
Esmeralda: What does it mean?
Butch: I'm American, honey. Our names don't mean shit.

Jules: I don't wanna hear about no motherfuckin' ifs. All I wanna hear from your ass is, You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the calvary which should be coming directly.
Marsellus: You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggers out and wait for the Wolf who should be coming directly.

The Wolf :If I'm curt with you it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please... with sugar on top. Clean the fucking car.

Jimmie: I can't believe this is the same car.
The Wolf: Well, let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet.

Jules: It's the one that says Bad Motherfucker

Jules: Fuck, nigga, what the fuck did you do to his towel?
Jules: I used the same fuckin' soap you did and when I got finished, the towel didn't look like no goddamn Maxi-Pad!

Jules :If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.

Zed: Bring out the Gimp.
Maynard: Gimp's sleeping.
Zed: Well, I guess you're gonna have to go wake him up now, won't you?

Vincent:Do you wanna continue this theological discussion in the car, or at the jailhouse with the cops?

Butch: Did you bring the watch?
Fabienne: I believe so.
Butch: You *believe* so? You *believe* so? What the fuck does that mean? You either did, or you didn't!

Lance: If you're all right, then say something.
Mia: Something.

Mia: I have to go powder my nose.

Butch: How was your breakfast?
Fabienne: It was good...
Butch: Did you get the pancakes, the blueberry pancakes?
Fabienne: No, no, they didn't have blueberry pancakes, I had to get buttermilk -

Jules: Mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down with?

Vincent: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home and have a heart attack.

Mia :Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, Catch up.

Butch: I'll be back before you can say Blueberry pie.
Fabienne: Blueberry pie.
Butch: Okay, maybe not that fast. But pretty fast, alright?

Butch: You want me to have a pot?
Fabienne: No. Pot bellies make a man look either oafish, or like a gorilla. But on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a big, perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, I'd wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it.
Butch: You think guys would find that attractive?
Fabienne: I don't give a damn what men find attractive. It's unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.

Jules: Bitch, be cool!

Hehe.. More to add soon, add up if you feel anything cool is missing !!! and ya 'I don't smile for pictures'. 'Just because you are a character doesn't mean you have character'.
and 'You won't know the facts until you've seen the fiction'. So go see it if you haven't yet !!!!

April Fool's day- Man's self created wish-day !!!!

2009-04-15T23:32:00.004-07:00

The April fool's day is one of the most important and popular days celebrated almost all over the world, and perhaps is just next to the new year day in terms of worldwide popularity. The origins of the April fool's day is unknown, though there are many stories relating it to Spring planting season, King Charles IX and even to Canterbury tales.

Anyways, who cares about the origins, all we need is a day(if not more) where you can blatantly fool someone and not get beaten up for it. In fact the irony is, in most of the cases, people just laugh it over. How many times does that happen in everyday life, when people laugh, when they are embarrassed by others or fooled by others. Not many, unless you are too dumb to even endorse for April fool's day !!!! Plus, everyone wants to be part of it, right from Google, BMW, U2, BBC, Youtube to even Microsoft. So get your act together people.

That's why I call upon all those people out there, especially the ones who are too scared to ask out someone they like, to celebrate April fool's day as your Valentine Day. Doesn't make any sense?

Well picture this. There is this girl who you are totally crazy about. You dream about her every day. You were scared that if you approached her directly about it, it wouldn't work. So you decided to take it slow and be friends with her. Time is ticking, you are acquainted well enough now, but you still don't muster the courage to tell her about how you feel. It is getting complicated now, because you like her friendship and you do not want to jeopardize your already established friendship over some relationship, which you are not even sure will work out. You are becoming her buddy now. What do you do now, apart from killing yourself ? Well, look no further, wait for April Fool's day, my boy, because this is the day god gave you to say anything to her without getting scared and without having to pay for any consequences. Prepare the best speech you could come with, the kind, which you are going to tell her, if these were your last words to her. Meet her and blabber it out. I would say use the internet chat or SMS for it, as the seriousness or non-seriousness can be muffled. Wait for her to react, if she feels the same way about it, voila !!!!! You sure know what to do, hope you don't need my advice on it now :P. But if she doesn't feel the same way and if things start getting awkward, there is nothing to panic about, son, listen her out totally, let her use all the swear words that she can, let her embarrass you as much as she can and at the end, all you have to say is " April FOOOOOOOOOOOOOL !!!!!"

.. Bingo !! You know the answer now, at least you don't have to feel bad about not telling her how you felt about her all your life. Agreed, it is a little difficult to digest, but hey! it's at least one less person to worry about anymore. Two, she's still your friend, remember you didn't want to lose her and three for those sadistic yous out there, the best part, she is going to apologize to you for going all out on ya !!! :p

You have nothing to lose in either case. Think about it. This is the basic plan, it can be changed a little and be used by other people ( both men and women) in many fields :D. You have a very sexy teacher, in your class, you know what to do- April FOOOOOLLSS !!!! ....You are pissed off with your boyfriend and want to scare the living hell out of him, you know what to do- Tell him you are pregnant on April FOOOOOOOLLLLLSS.... !!! That and many others... you get the picture don't you ......

Isn't that a master plan ? I am sure it is no biggie, I am sure most of you know it already, but it is for those who are not geniuses like you and me. I pull this one every year. I have seen both sides of the coin, there were scenarios where I have been rejected and I cried out "Muwaahhhahahahah . APRIL FOOOOOOOOOLS" and there have been scenarios where in the girl went like" OHHHH MYYYY GOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD !!!!!!!!! Let's goooooooooo homeeeeeeeeeeee NOWWW ". So you know, what I mean when I say this is God's gift to mankind !!!!!

So next year's April fools, you know what to do. Every year, I focus my radar on 4 girls, and repeat this with each one of them, my scheme is getting popular now, so 1 realizes that I am fooling around, 1 says no, 1 says yes and the other one is not sure what to do !!!!! In any case, I have nothing to lose, only everything to gain. So, why not try it and hey, it's not illegal, It is APRIL FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL's DAYYY !!!!!

The last year gone down

2008-08-05T16:15:00.001-07:00

I still remember the day I landed my first foot here
yes a year back, naive and a total novice....
I still remember the day I wrote my first anguish here
yes the "calm like a bomb...", nonchalant and numb now...

This one year away from the family and loved ones,
is one precious year taken away from my wicked life...
This one year full of academic and experienceable gains,
is still one wretched year added to my list of unrecoverable items...

Life teaches you they say, sure I am always learning..
you will meet new people, they say, sure I am a social animal...
you will leave the old people, the loved ones, they say not,
But yet quite ironically, they also say, Dream as if you'll live forever...

This last year, has given me so much time, enough time for me,
to wonder almost everything that I could never wonder about...
to spend every painstakingly long minute with myself, until I hated it...
to realize so many trivial things, to which I was totally oblivious till now.
Quarter-life-Crisis is what they claim this is, crisis is the only term that I understand !!!

Richer in experience, but still a novice is what I am relatively,
But I am not gullible enough to get lost in this rat race,
because this one year, has made me stop in my strides
and take notice of the things that matter most to me
and question the things that are taken for granted always
whether I am hitting the right stones, that only time can tell !!!

( or see this space in the future !!!)

Right now, I feel numb and it makes me act nonchalant.
I am Still Calm like a bomb, but only with hundreds of explosions inside...
I am Still a novice, but only that I am used to it now ...
But I sure am not naive, so do I think ...

Yet it is a year gone down ...

©®™ Akshay Puli ™®©

The Naked 'U-TOP-ian' society - For the good of WOMEN ;)

2008-07-18T23:55:00.001-07:00

It's no news that I ardently oppose the riots (as i call it) against women all over the world and more importantly in India. Well the idea that I am going to propose today is definitely going to make news, one heck of a news :). So let us keep it just between us and if someone, gets offended, then..... wait for it .... lol, think you never read it in the first place. This is a solution in the lighter vein, but logical ( to me at least ), if not practical :), but what the heck, how many people here like thinking or reading about practical book-style stuff. Yes if you are one of them, then please go read cnnibn.com :).

Coming back to the point. Women, God's greatest creation .Well there is so much beauty around- hills, rocks, animals, birds etc but what is the point, as none of them show (or have) emotions like women do. I agree they can also be the most confusing and notorious creatures ( no pun intended) around, but well the bottom-line is - there is no life (from a human beings perspective) without them. So let us save our assess, by saving the womenfolk, by protecting them, by addressing the issues they have, my giving them the center-stage, by letting them know they are the most important creatures around, let us start showing them respect ( not some, all of what you got !!).

So let us recount the riots on women that I am talking about -Rape, female infanticide, feoticide, Slavery, sexual abuse, genocide, dowry, AIDS, Child marriages, etc. Most of them are a result of men out there, who are so full of themselves,egoistic and who look at women just as an instrument serving several purposes, I am sure , you have heard all these before !

I must have had the women all blushing up and happy until now and the guys ready to kick me, but wait for it.. don't conclude, not yet ;). Let us for a moment think why men ( most or few ) behave the way I mentioned above ? It is well known that human beings always like doing, what they are asked not to and attain something that seems difficult to attain. Studies have shown that's how the mind is programmed to, it doesn't like being bogged down by any situation. This is true for everyone- all men and women, the only thing that varies from person to person is the intensity level to which their brains are programmed to.

Children whose parents asked them to take drugs at a younger age, have turned out to be the idealistic human beings. Think about it. I can quote infinite instances like that and you know it too, ask your mind.

So the thing which I am trying to drive home is that 'don't deny people anything'. Is it the Gandhian way, emphasized in a different angle in Munnabhai-2 ? The more you deny people, the more they would want to have it. They will go to any means to achieve it, so I guess the solution is to let people take the course they want to. I am sure there will be absolute chaos, if this is done, but then the chaos will have to eventually settle and that, that is the revival of mankind, that is going to be the Utopian society, which books and scholars have been trying to aim for !

Well all the problems arise because we act pricey for everything and with everyone, cut all that and everything will fall into place. Remember the time of Adam and Eve ! Wasn't that the ideal Utopian society which we are all trying to get to again ? Why was it so ideal ? Because Adam and Eve were naked. :D..One needs to have the freedom to roam around naked, and by one, I mean Women. That's when you realize Utopian society is here

Picture this ! You have an Iron briefcase with heavy locks and security, handcuffed to your hand with strong iron chains, someone would always want to tear it open and look in. What you have inside the briefcase may be diamonds or something, which all human beings have already seen before and by covering it up, by securing them away from the public eye, you are just creating the zeal to peek in, the inquisitiveness to break it open. So you are prompting an attack on yourself, for the diamonds. Once broken one realizes , Ah !! Just another diamond , but still you made them break in, by securing it.
If on the other hand, you just display those diamonds without concealing them, you know carefree, no one would really seem interested to break in, remember everyone knows how diamonds look like, so don't conceal them. Let them say "Ah !! Just another diamond " before breaking in, not after breaking in life before. In this way you are definitely avoiding a personal attack on you by someone who wants to break open the briefcase and have a glance of the diamonds. There, you have prevented a rape , err I mean a theft :D. Common looks don't kill, they don't cost either !! A glance is going to save you so much of trouble. See an idea can change your life. :)

You surely understood what I am talking about. You know what the briefcase is and what the diamonds are ;). That is the freedom I am waiting for, that is the society I am aiming for, that sure is UTOPIA. May not sound practical ,but is logical and sometimes hard decisions need to be taken- for the good- for everyone's good-good in the longer run. It is a win-win situation for everyone in the longer run.

Make the President of United States and there you have U-TOP-ia;)

P.S : icing on the cake- U can also play, look,etc the Diamonds, with the owner's permission of course, that's UTOPIA. Also remember we come and go alone, we don't take anything with us, nothing absolutely, so share your diamonds with others, let there be peace all over again, let us bring back images of ADAM and EVE among us :-p. Make me the president :)

The 'ONE'.

2008-04-19T16:13:00.002-07:00

where is 'the one' i seek...
Where is 'the one', i ask ...
where is 'the one' I am passionate about ?

passsion , zeal is what I want , I rant...
he asks, wats the thing with passion...
its all to do with the passion.... I say ..

the fire to achieve sumthing...
the fervor to learn anything..
she is 'the one' i am passionate about...
i don't get it, he says...

the excitement in doing small things...
the freedom in dreaming bigger things...
the nonchalance about who she is …
get it yet , dumbo? Nah !! , he wails…

the courage to think different …
the voice to make the crowd stare in awe…
no nonsense is the way she goes…
talk some English!! , he screams…

the motivation to stop me from being the fool I am …
the optimism to call shyt a fertilizer ..
the zeal to be just what she is…
and yet she is simple and on cloud 0..
that’s my gal , dood !!

I want to find her … This wait is too painful…
I want to fall in love with her… this anguish is too deep…
I want to snuggle into her…this heart is too fragile…
I want to bitch to her…this world is too bad and scary…
I hate and I fear finding place in the wrong arms yet again…

Eureka!! I understand he says …
Wake up, dream’s over boy!! He smirks…
Your alarm’s been barking for an hour, shouts he…
the clock says 15 mins past my class time…

©®™ Akshay Puli ™®©

The Shyt Monologues -" would you have felt like this in India ? "

2008-02-12T23:54:00.002-07:00

So, why are we always supposed to talk about the good things or the sad things, but not of the supposedly embarrassing things, things which are considered a taboo, the discomforting things....I have always been an un-conventionalist , I always do things the way they aren't supposed to be done. So here I am ,writing this blog, when I am supposed to be studying for my first midterm of this new spring semester....

Why today ? When I am supposed to be studying and its not like I write blogs everyday... well see I am unorthodox....well, it's because I was just shyting a while back.. Yup ! you heard me !!

So you know the topic I am going to write about today. It's what we do everyday( in some instances more than once ) and everybody I know and I don't know, does it and just not us human beings, every living being on Earth and maybe even the aliens do it. heck !! they do it too.. So why don't we ever talk about it. Well if you are still acting dumb and ignorant and hoping that, I am not going to talk about, what you think I am talking about, then sorry to disappoint you, but I am going to write about shytting today- the process of defecating or excreting , as I remember it from my 10th science textbook( or mayb even a lesser grade) . The thesaurus has got this to say-defecate, eject, eliminate, emanate, evacuate, exhale, expel, exudate, exude, give off, ejaculate( this one doesn't belong in here, lest I should be branded a retard, as if talking bout shyt wasn't enough), leak, pass, urinate,( Strangely I haven't got ideas about them yet)perspire, secrete, sweat, throw off, void ( i am never going to talk about it) ..produce ( what the heck is he talking about ?- Produce what Gold mines ?? )

Well, yup I was just taking a shyt ( Hell , when you can call it's sister, as 'taking a leak' ) a few minutes back in the school library ( Cut that sleazy expression off your face, I am not the first one to do it, remember the time you did it ... ) . Just then I felt so much at peace and in comfort ( well, yaa I am still in the public toilet). Next thing that came into my mind, " would I have felt like this in India ? , wait .. No .. wrong question .." would I have done it in India, in the first place " ...Well don't even think about it, the answer is a plain straight no. As a matter of fact, I am sure the shyt would itself get humiliated to grace the presence of a public toilet in India. And ya I am assuming the public toilets haven't changed much in India in the last 7 months, Hell I am pretty sure it wouldn't change for the next .. well . lets get practical , they won't ever change in India..... No offense meant though. It is just not " socially /economically " ( whatever that means ) possible in India....I still love India /hyd for what it is.. I misssssss...

So then my mind traversed to " what are the 10 best things I like in AMRIKA ( America)" ( Yup I was still shytting !! ) ....The first thing, undoubtedly was " taking a shyt in a public toilet and feeling so comfortable and totally at peace doing it " ...Next I thought of all the other things, that are noteworthy about America ( will leave it for the next blog - U know it means never, acc. to my lingo , but anyways lets see) ... Then my mind was thinking about how I should so totally write a blog the moment I come out ... so here I am doing that ...( of course after washing up :-p ) ....

I was thinking next about the things that people here do when they are sitting on the pot ( of course the public toilets ) .

1. I understand the American's die hard love for Coke ( I am talking about the drink, this time) , but common, how do you shyt while you drink or drink while you shyt ...I am sure there are people out there, who drink milk while shytting too.. Gold help the cows !!! ...

2. Even worse, I have seen people take cookies inside along with them and Pizza boxes .. Holy moly !! what the heck , people.. are you out of sides or whippings ??

3. Newspapers , Books , Sudokus , etc - Guys there is a reason why they provide tissues in there .( Yup this is not India !! ) ..

4. Back packs ...bags , etc - Someone is getting a "surprise surprise" delivery tonight ha !!

well then my mind was like please stop thinking this now. I felt losing out the comfortable feeling I was having until then.

So I started thinking of how in countries like India, Pakistan and most of the Muslim nations, taking a shyt is similar to sex . Well I guess you have reached your saturation point with me and my blog about shyt ha ? I understand, because I have very very very .. high regards for sex too, just like you. But see if I am thinking wrong. In India, for example 'talking about sex is such a big taboo" . and the same assumption still continues, I am sure India hasn't changed much in the last 7 months. Similarly, talking about Shyt too is a big taboo. There I found a similarity and I lost all my peace and the comfort I was having. So finally I got up from the pot and you know the rest .... :-d

Well I would like to close off on a serious point. It definitely helps to know you have a second home, in case of emergency :-d. ( and as good as your home ) . I swear I never felt like that once in my 21 years spent in India. Dammit ! I never even felt at home even when I was in my relatives places, friends places, or for that matter even in ITC VIP suite , toilet. That used to be one of my biggest nightmares and only reason ( in addition to no money ), that I would think of, for not traveling in India. But still I did cover most part of India, except the East , Kerala and UP ...
But now I wake up every morning here in America, with this one comforting feeling, irrespective of my grades and working like a pig , that I know I won't feel that discomfort or rather my shyt won't feel bad ..... GOD BLESS AMRIKA :-p..

Hell that was a serious one .:-p. Now the real serious point. Live your life, the way you want to. Don't let it be affected by what others think. You are free to talk , what you want and write what you want, I would have added a clause if I was in India, saying, "until you don't hurt others feelings/sentiments". But a strange thing about this amrika is there is no such clause in here !! [:d] ..

In any case don't think twice if you havta call a spade ,a spade , or a shyt , a shyt !!!

I better catch up with my midterm now, lest I would be shat all over in the exam.

And remember the power is yours ( Of course, your fire, your shyt, your power ;) ) -Captain Planet istyyle...

Tangible Assets !!

2008-02-09T16:11:00.001-07:00

I am real, you are fake.
The Ego is real, the attitude is fake.
The beard is real, the smile is fake.
The Sun is real , the green here is fake.

The effort is real, the result is fake.
The pain is real, the comfort is fake.
The mind is real, the beauty is fake.
The Lust is real, the love is fake.

Silicon is real, Silicones are fake ;)
Passions are real, Occupations are fake.
Acquisition is real , competition is fake.
Market is real , school is fake.

Time is real, money is fake.
Eco system is real, Home-Systems are fake.
The thoughts are real , actions are fake.
Foes are real, friends are fake.

War is real , peace is fake.
Solitude is real, company is fake.
Ex-es are real , GFs are fake.
Name is real , fame is fake.

Poverty is real, wealth is fake.
Corruption is real, philanthropy is fake.
Eccentric is real , Conventional is fake.

Science is real , GoD is ....well, Reallllll !!!

©®™ Akshay Puli ™®©

Evolution by ~The analogy GURU !!!

2008-01-26T16:09:00.002-07:00

first came the worms( ponting, Mcgrath etc),
then the monkeys ( symonds.)
then the common folk,
then the Indian fans,
then the Sachin fans,
then ME-THE SACHIN FANATIC,
then my parents,
then the angels(you know ;) ),
then God
and then CAME SACHIN and there stopped the machine..

Amen!!oops A-Sachin-not-men

©®™ Akshay Puli ™®©

Calm Like a bomb, dead like a Zombie !!

2007-12-10T16:07:00.001-07:00

A new place, a completely new lifestyle..
zombies and aliens all around...
a new me !!! a totally different me....
I am not me anymore, or do i know..?

I couldn't wait to start it out,
but when it did come finally,
it fell right on its face..

the cliché which should ever have been,
the deja vu which would never have been,
that one fear has turned into reality!!

I havta live with it now..
I can feel it get into me too..
I feel I'm one of them now,
I resisted hard, very hard, too hard,
too too hard that I couldn't try any harder...
now no more.. its into me..
deep inside me, like it were me ...

It is me now..me is it now..
I am the one you fear now..

If only ... if only .... if only..."

©®™ Akshay Puli ™®©

Did we just lose the biggest Scum of the planet today - Paris Hilton ?

2007-06-04T00:58:00.003-07:00

Today's post is about the biggest piece of scum I know ( I Know bigger, but you get the point, don't you ? ), not to offend anyone, but yeah I said it.

Bitch is in jail already. And hold your breath, Paris Hilton has reported to serve her jail sentence, 2 nights earlier than scheduled. This has to be the MOST SHOCKING NEWS OF this weekend, err the Week, err the Month, err the year, Oh common!! Cut the crap, she ain't got that big a value ;)

She reported straight, after leaving the MTV Movie Awards . Of course she made that big appearance and let the ‘Oh- so- cute-fake- and–sweet’ snaps of her taken. If that is all strange, then get a grip of this.

But well Paris is her usual self, doing things which one doesn’t expect a normal human being to do. She just hired a hair and makeup team, as if she is about to attend a high-profile premiere, and not Prison. For once, I mean JUST ONCE in like 20 years (or even more), I hope her skin would be able to breathe properly, with no make up and bling and stuff.

And there is also news that the search has started for her CELL-MATE !! Bad luck, to whoever is chosen . HeHeHe

I am sure this Jail term is gonna make her even more famous. They are going to secretly tape her in jail and sell it for millions to crazy people like me . And there are already rumors that she is gonna write her own “ Prison Diaries “ and then they gonna publish and sell it millions of crazy people like you .

She issued the following statement:

"I am ready to face the consequences of violating probation. During the past few weeks, I have had a lot of time to think and have come to realize I made some mistakes. This is an important point in my life and I need to take responsibility for my actions. In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make. I want to thank my family, friends and fans for their continued support. Although I am scared, I am ready to begin my jail sentence." ( sure !!!!!!! *rolls eyes*)

So the other night was her last night out for the next 23 days. For now I am gonna sit back and relax at a time when 'The biggest scum' on our planet is in prison. Let’s look forward to a clean USA for the next 23 days .

Keep watching this space, for any secretly taped footage of PARIS in PRISON :-P very soon !!

Well yawn bored of talking about the bitch. Lets hope she picks a fight with her cell mate and she gets killed in the process

Why don't these celebrities leave the writing to the writers....

2007-05-09T01:30:00.002-07:00

[This is a repost from my days as a blog writer for www.celebden.com]

Well, I feel insulted to be called a writer or to actually write anything these days. Looks like everyone wants to be a writer these days and look at who all do we have writing books these days. If the Carmen Electras and Felicity Huffmans start taking the writers world by a storm, what would happen to poor souls like me ( I am talking for the actual writers :P), who earn their bread by writing. Brand value sells remember.

They say Beauty and Brains don’t go together. So, I would be shocked out of my boots, to know that Carmen Electra loves writing and even more to know she has made a book. Not that she’s a real beauty- beauty, but hey Fake counts too .

On a serious note, I didn’t even think she could read and write. But she has somehow come out with a book called, “How to be Sexy ” . I am sure she has stuff like, put on minimal clothes, Get the fakies as and when you get the money, Jump around naked for everything- be it Magazines, Clubs, Movies, shows and even wrestling mania too..

Well, I guess the book should have been named something else, ‘How to be like Carmen- The seductress' or something.. Anyways, you hotties out there, you are much bigger than this book. No one can be a Carmen Electra .

and please leave the writing industry to people who can actually write ..... Who knows we might see all the hotties start blogs tomorrow. If the blogs have anything other than their hot snaps, I am gonna kill myself....

Britney's hair on sale now ? What ?

2007-02-21T00:16:00.002-07:00

(How to win yourself a lifetime supply of the best SUV's in town )- read further

Ya you heard that right and any guesses what the starting price of the clumsy tresses is ??? Nothing less than a MILLION dollars. Well, don't be too surprised if they fetch tenfold, eventually. The World is a crazy place and the fans of the dim-witted 'STAR' are even more crazier. So, next time you see an SUV, don't just dream of owning it. Instead go home, open eBay and upload a picture of an ugly looking cream colored panty and type " Britney's SMELLY PANTIES ON SALE " and there you have won yourself a lifetime supply of the latest SUV's in town . That's all it takes to be rich, A TAG SAYING 'BRITNEY'. To make your job easier, the fidgety star has stopped wearing her undies any longer . That along with wearing skimpy outfits and fishnets are all part of her, showing the world how troubled she is, after her breakup with wannabe rapper Kevin Federline in November. It tardily resulted, in her walking into a salon this Friday where she grabbed the clippers and did the job herself.

The salon owner is all set to sell the hair and 'supposedly' give a part of the money earned to charity. A search on eBay for "Britney Spears hair" reveals dozens of supposed clumps of the popstar's tresses - some of it not even the right color. Genuine or fake, its upto you to decide now, but many witty people out there are gonna see their SUV dreams come true , all thanks to the TAG BRITNEY.

So all you people out there, go get yourself each a CLUMP of Britney's hair. Relax. There is no hurry, whatsoever. Surprisingly or unsurprisingly, there are millions of such clumps for sale all over the internet now.