Bonnie Engstrom at A Knotted Life

I Don't Want to Be a Sports Mom and I'm Against Children Growing Up

2019-08-29T22:40:00.002-06:00

I have entered a new season of motherhood. I think this would probably be hard for every mom – no matter how much you love seeing your kids become great people. I’m finding it especially difficult to navigate, though, because having crossed the threshold with one foot, I still have the other foot firmly planted in the old season of motherhood.

If you want me to cut to the chase: HELP. SOS. What do I do? Please?!

If you don’t mind me talking through it: I have had a baby or toddler in the house for the last eleven years. I know how to parent babies and small children. Bottles and naps and snuggles – love it! Cute little two year old running (you know what I mean!), running to the bathroom for the potty-training 3 year old, snacks and books and more snuggles – love it! Elementary school kids with easy homework, sight words, incredible amounts of sweetness with a bit of stinker buttness – love it!

And I love how my 11 year old daughter and almost 10 year old son are becoming – not just big kids! – but young adults. Twice this week Ben has lit the charcoal grill and made dinner (brats one night, burgers and corn on the cob tonight). L regularly bakes and creates awesome desserts. Ben mows the lawn and takes out the garbage. L does the laundry. And they are funny and kind and figuring out who and how they are, if you know what it means. And it feels like such a privilege to not only watch it but to be an active part of it happening.

But part of having this big family, with a 6th grader and a 4 month old and six more kids in between, is that at times we feel like less of a family. This maybe just means I need to adapt my image of what our family looks like and does, but how many deaths do I have to die?!

For our family to have dinner together we have to sit down, without Travis, at 4:30. He pops in and sits down to table shortly after 5 and by 5:15 he and Ben are gone for JFL. L takes off a bit later for cross country and things will only get more complicated as more and more children are old enough for sports and other extra curriculars. Family dinners will probably be like this for the next 18 years.

Now, I will admit that part of my problem is how much I don’t really like sports and the way they dominate families’ calendars. And the way that parents and coaches sometimes talk to the kids – ugh! And I hate how much money it all costs. But sports mean a lot of my (coach of a) husband and he insists that our kids will play sports if they want. I can see the good that comes from them. Ben and L both have benefited and become better people from being involved. Yet I still want to chop the Thunder Oak which is Kids’ Sports (CSYSK reference) because even with very limited involvement (one sport per kid per season and all will be school sports except for JFL) we are crazy busy.

I will admit, thought, that a lot of this is blame shifting. It is, perhaps, easier to blame sports than life. Because really, my kids are getting older and it breaks my heart a bit that I can’t have them all in my home, in my yard, at my table, in my arms. So life is happening, and I’m trying to cling to my kids as best I can for as long as I can.

But I still hate how sports can dominate. Seriously.

So if you have ideas or tips for me, please share them. And if you just want to commiserate, go for it.

Baby Stephen

2019-05-16T22:42:00.020-06:00

Introducing: Stephen Paul
Born Easter Tuesday, April 23rd at 2:59pm
7lbs 15.2oz 20.5″ long

When we learned that we were pregnant for the ninth time Travis and I were happy. We laughed with joy. We texted friends. We hugged and laughed and said, "EIGHT kids!" We were so excited to meet our newest little one.

While we were filled with wide-eyed excitement for the new little life growing inside of me, at times his pregnancy wasn’t easy. He moved around so much that it was often hard to find his heartbeat with a doppler – sending me into regular panics. Then, towards the end, my gestational diabetes numbers could not be controlled and I was carrying a “severe” amount of extra amniotic fluid, both of which led to worries of pre-term labor leading to umbilical cord prolapse and / or uterine rupture.

But I loved feeling him move inside me and watching him kick and punch. Tee would put his hand on my belly and say, “Baby kicking?” and MJ would shout with gleeful surprise when she watched my belly rise and bump. Resa sighed about how long it was taking for “that newborn baby to be born” and all the kids fought over if the baby was a boy or girl. It was the best.

The full eight months were spent discussing names. The boy name didn’t come until the very end, while the girl name came more quickly. After a short time dabbling with Alice Elizabeth we settled on Elizabeth Victoria. Elizabeth would be to honor my confirmation saint, Elizabeth the mother of John the Baptist, and Victoria would be in honor of Our Lady of Victory.

An incredible amount of boy names were rejected over the months. Henry, John, and George were all discussed but in the end we chose Stephen for the deacon and first martyr of the Church. Paul was chosen to honor his godfather, who has the same middle name, and St. Paul, patron saint of run on sentences. (That’s my title for him.) However, we didn’t settle on the name until after I was prepped for the c-section (but before they took me to the OR).

Stephen’s due date was May 13th, the Feast of our Lady of Fatima. But with my growing list of complications the due date was moved up again and again. Finally, the c-section was scheduled for 37 weeks and 1 day, on Easter Tuesday, the Feast of St. George.

This was my third, scheduled c-section. Travis and I knew the plan and while I hate getting spinals I don’t mind the rest so much. In the past I’ve chatted with the nurses and doctors, even cracking a joke or two while the surgery is underway. I wasn’t looking forward to a third c-section, but I wasn’t as afraid as I had been in the past and felt rather confident that once the spinal was done everything would be fine.

Plus, I was so eager to meet my baby. I had been waiting for 35 weeks to have Travis look at our newborn child and tell me the gender. I couldn’t wait to hold my baby for the first time there in the OR. Travis and I smiled every time we talked about it.

The c-section, however, did not go well. The spinal didn’t take like it had with my previous c-sections and as the nurses and anesthesiologist did their poke test I insisted that once they got above my belly button I felt more than just pressure. Everyone insisted that I felt only pressure, no pain, and they decided to go ahead and begin the surgery.

Meanwhile, Travis was waiting to be escorted to the OR and growing increasingly worried as more and more time went by. When a nurse finally arrived she told him that I was unconscious and intubated and he would not be allowed to see me. Fearing the worst, he demanded to see me, at which point another nurse arrived. She brought him back to the OR where I was awake but worried and already cut open.

I felt nothing during the incision but as they began pulling and tugging I felt pain and yelled out. I knew it was different than what I’d experienced before but everyone continued to insist, “It’s just pressure.” The anesthesiologist then said that I was too anxious and he was going to give me medicine.

Travis told me that the medicine made me loopy and sluggish. I don’t remember anything that happened once the medicine was given so Travis had to describe things to me.

When our baby was born, Travis told me his name. I didn’t smile. I didn’t say anything.

Our son wasn’t breathing well and Travis was nervous, but I didn’t notice and couldn’t care. The doctor gave him oxygen and Travis was able to cut the umbilical cord but I don’t remember any of it.

The next thing I do remember is waking up on the operating table with Travis, my baby, and all but a few nurses gone. I asked where my husband was. I asked about my baby – girl? boy? healthy? where are they? I tried to stop my quivering chin, not wanting to cry in front of the nurses and I wondered if I was beginning to cry because the drugs were making me crazy or if something bad really had happened.

In the recovery room Travis came to me and told me about our son and his birth. And when I cried Travis told me I had every right to cry because I had something very real to mourn.

Eventually I was taken to the nursery and allowed to hold him. So sweet, so snuggly, just perfect.

For the next five days Stephen had breathing issues and we had to keep a careful eye on his glucose and bilirubin levels. He loved skin-to-skin and we sat together often, me resting and healing and him resting and healing, and both of us needing one another to improve.

On Divine Mercy Sunday we came home from the hospital. In the two weeks since we’ve struggled with nursing and weight loss but supplementing is helping and he’s finally getting bigger.

Stephen’s an incredibly sweet baby. He’s so handsome and snuggly and I find such comfort in holding him. We sit and watch the birds and squirrels in the morning and Parks and Rec in the afternoon and The Crown late at night. I stare at him and hold his hands and stroke his cheek. And while he does sleep well in his crib (3 hour stretches with a few 4 hour ones over the last few weeks!) his favorite place to sleep seems to be nestled on my chest.

His birth is not what I hoped for, but he’s here and he’s healthy and we love him so much. I think the sweetness of his snuggles are meant to make up for all the worries and tears and really I shouldn’t complain because, in the end, we have a beautiful family and God has been very generous.

Travis and I still look at each other and say, “EIGHT kids!” and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Things I Wanted to Tell You

2019-04-22T22:43:00.001-06:00

First: HAPPY EASTER!

Second: My third c-section is scheduled for tomorrow. I’m supposed to go in at noon with the surgery beginning at 2pm CST. I’m 37 weeks today but there’s enough complications combining with my birth and medical history that if we wait too long we could end up with things like uterine rupture or stillbirth.

I hate things with my back and so I’m not looking forward to the spinal and I feel afraid. Afraid of the surgery, afraid of complications that could happen to the baby, afraid of the pain. I’d like to shift my focus off of my fears and so I would be very grateful if you would share your prayer intentions with me – either in the combox, on FB, or on IG. Please help me to focus on you in dialogue with Jesus!

Third: Did you notice that things are nice and snazzy around here? I’ve been blogging on Blogger for twelve years and it’s been a good twelve years of simple and easy. But I’ve been wanting something a bit more… grown-up… for awhile and now seemed like a good time.

My friend Bryce Garber moved A Knotted Life over to here and was such a dream to work with. Meanwhile, my friend Val, a professional make-up artist, came to my house and did my make-up so our friend Kara from Kara Kamienski Photograph could take beautiful new headshots. I love all their work!

Fourth: We’ve been watching Masterpiece’s Les Miserables and we have been loving it! On Holy Saturday night Travis had to put a bike together while I filled Easter eggs. I asked if he would do it in the garage and he replied, “No. I think I’ll do it in here (family room). That way I can watch Les Mis and drink a beer while I do it.”

I cracked up and said, “The man I married would have *never* said that sentence!” And it’s true, you guys. Travis didn’t drink any alcohol when we married and would have opted to watch a Bourne movie for the 45th time over trying a period drama. Marriage has been good to Travis. 😉

And finally: I am looking to build a fun, new, driving-with-the-windows-down playlist and I would love your suggestions. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

Alright, friends, the next time I check back in here I’ll have a brand new baby to tell you about. Please don’t forget to give me song suggestions and prayer requests!

xo!

I have an announcement to make

2019-03-01T17:29:00.000-06:00

I WROTE A BOOK!

I've wanted to tell you guys that for the last five years. And WOW, it feels good to finally say it.

What's it about, you ask? Well, it's the story of James' birth and (alleged) miraculous healing through the intercession of Venerable Fulton Sheen. If you don't really know what I'm talking about let me bring you up to date:

My son James was born eight and a half years ago, a planned homebirth. Everything was beautiful and perfect until James was born lifeless. Not able to find a pulse, my midwife began CPR; Travis performed an emergency baptism; our friend called 911; and I sat in a state of shock, repeating "Fulton Sheen" in my head, unsure of how to pray for my son and therefore calling on my friend and James Fulton's patron to pray.

James was taken to the hospital and when the ED team stopped working on him to call time of death his heart started again - 148 beats / minute. He had been without a pulse for 61 minutes.

The doctors expected massive organ failure or, at best, for James to be very severely disabled. But we continued to pray, begging God for a miracle and asking Archbishop Sheen to pray for a miracle, too. And by the time he was one year old it was obvious that James would not only survive but that there would be no significant residual damage from that hour he was dead.

The Sheen Foundation and Diocese of Peoria held a tribunal to investigate our alleged miracle and it was submitted to the Congregation for the Causes of Saints for Venerable Sheen's beatification.

This book tells that story.

Almost six years ago I signed a contract with Our Sunday Visitor to write this book. We did things privately, wanting to be respectful of the Church and Sheen's cause. And when the cause came to a pause we set the completed book aside. We waited and hoped and prayed. Over the years we discussed if now was the right time, but it never was.

Until right now.

I'm not sure what will happen next with the cause but in the end we decided that James' story is a powerful one and it brings glory to God. So I found my old manuscript, cleaned it up, brought it up to date, and resubmitted it to OSV. I just got it back from my editor, ready for my revisions.

The book will be released in late August or early September and will be available for pre-order at the end of the school year. Over the years many of you have reached out online or spoken with me after a talk and asked "When will you write a book?" I always wanted to say, "I HAVE!" and now I finally can.

I will keep you posted with the title, cover, and all the details. I have wanted to share this excitement with you because - and I mean this so very sincerely - so many of you are a part of this book. You prayed for James. You also asked God for a miracle. You sent our family meals, gift cards, prayers, and cash. You carried us when we could barely keep our heads above water. Travis and I have never forgotten that and we never will.

Thank you for your love and support over the years and right now. When Travis and I share James story we always want it to first and foremost bring glory and honor to God. We want it to also inspire people to befriend Fulton Sheen so that his holy witness will bring them closer to Christ. We want it to give people hope. We hope that this book does that for you.

+JMJ+

Getting ready for Lent

2019-02-28T20:12:00.000-06:00

We're getting ready for Lent here.

All the hearts and garlands and twinkle lights are put up. Surfaces are dusted. The last of the ice cream is being consumed. We've begun to discuss, as a family, what we will do for Lent - the sacrifices and the extra works. There's burlap on our mantle because it looks like sackcloth (maybe? I have no idea what sackcloth looks like) and because I need something up there to cover those unsightly wires.

We've got some plans. Personally I plan to read The Life of Christ. And by "read" I mean start it and keep reading well into Ordinary Time. Let's be real here. I'm also looking forward to using the Blessed Is She Lenten devotional To the End. Having skimmed through it already I think it will be really good.

Usually the kids do our standard Lenten calendar from Catholic Icing. We might just do one this year instead of everyone getting their own, but we need at least one so I don't have to answer multiple times every day for 40 days "how many days until Easter?" Seriously.

I've been building this Lenten Spotify playlist and hope to add to it as I stumble upon more songs - so do tell me if I'm missing something. In the past we've only allowed religious or PBS Kids shows and Christian music during Lent. I don't think we'll do that this year, but we'll see.

Since we usually do not eat meat on all Fridays of the year I like to add meatless Wednesdays to the Lenten meal plan. Those few extra dollars I save each week are then donated to Catholic Charities or our local parish at the end of Lent. In the past we've encouraged our kids to forgo different treats and purchases during Lent to add to that collection and that's worked really well.

We also usually incorporate the Stations of the Cross into our night time prayer. We tend to do it a couple times a week, using the Stations of the Cross Box I made years ago. The kids love it and I know that it's done a lot to make the actual Stations more meaningful. The kids pray the Stations every Friday after the School Mass and we attend our parish or Cathedral's Stations as a family at least once each Lent. This small catechesis, done sitting on the floor with my kids digging through a box, has been a great way to teach even my youngest kids the responses while also helping them to understand the story of Christ's Passion and feel sorrow and compassion for Him. I explained how we do the Box here, but I first heard about it from Kate Wicker and I'm so glad she shared it.

But you know what, you guys? I'll be 38 in a few months. I have seven kids age ten and under. I'm 30 weeks pregnant. I'M TIRED. If that rickety old grapevine wreath and a couple meatless meals each week is all I do I'm good with that. I have a feeling that God wants this Lent to be more interior this year than exterior.

Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling
Calling for you and for me...

Come home, come home
Ye who are weary come home
Earnestly, tenderly Jesus is calling
Calling, O sinner, come home...

Our favorite books for liturgical living

2019-02-15T14:57:00.001-06:00

One of the talks that I give is on liturgical living, and it's a favorite topic of mine to talk about. I think our Catholic faith is so beautiful and joyful and even, at times, quirky and I love sharing it with others through the seasons and everyday life.

When I present this particular talk I am sure to share lots of examples of ways our family celebrates throughout the liturgical year, along with examples of what our friends do. I also stress what a beautiful, easy tool liturgical living can be for parents and grandparents who are trying to evangelize and form their children, especially when it's done in a way that makes sense for each particular family's home culture, interests, strengths, and season of life. Finally, I make sure everyone knows that because this work of building up the Kingdom of God is vitally important satan will attack it, because he's a jerk like that, so be ready.

In my life books have been so helpful in sharing the faith with my kids and so when I gave this talk I brought some of my favorites to share with the audience. There was lots of note-taking and photo-snapping so people would remember the titles I had shared. But there were also so many books and DVDs I had to leave at home and I thought those should be shared, too, especially as my kids kept saying, "Oh I love this one! And this one! And this one!"

So below is a fairly extensive list of books and other resources we use throughout the year. The seasonal books are stored with their corresponding decorations and then placed in our family book basket for the duration of the season. Some books are read on a daily or weekly basis throughout the year. Some books stay on the bookshelf in our living room for easy access. We have a ton of other books, too, but I don't need to include How the Grinch Stole Christmas here.

I've divided the groups into books for kids, resources for parents / grandparents / teachers, Bibles, and DVDs. All the Amazon and Blessed Is She links are affiliate links, which means I receive a small payment at no cost to you when you purchase through my specific link. I have also built an Amazon page filled with these items so you can check them all out there, if you'd like. You can find that here.

Take It to the Queen by Josephine Nobisso
The Weight of the Mass by Josephine Nobisso
Saint Clare of Assisi: Runaway Rich Girl by Kim Hee-Ju
Paddy and the Wolves by Steve Nagel
St. Nicholas - the Real Story of the Christmas Legend by Julie Stiegemeyer
Lady of Guadalupe by Tome dePaola
The Miracle of St. Nicholas by Gloria Whelan and Judith Brown
On Easter Day in the Morning by Vickie Howie
My Happy Pumpkin by Crystal Bowman
A is for Altar B is for Bible by Judith Lang Main
An Alphabet of Catholic Saints by Brenda and George Nippert
Angel in the Waters by Regina Doman and Ben Hatke
My Superhero / Princess / Woodland Prayer Book by Kendra Tierney
The Catholic Field Guide to the Liturgy by Michelle Chronister
The Story of St. John Paul II: The Boy Who Would Be Pope by Fabiola Garza
Saintly Rhymes for Modern Times by Meghan Bausch
The Chime Travelers by Lisa Hendey
I'm Bernadette by Emily Grace Ortega
A Little Book About Confession for Children by Kendra Tierney
I Walk with Jesus by Michelle Chronister
The Way of the Cross from Magnificat and Ignatius Press
Stations of the Cross box tutorial

The Little Oratory: A Beginners Guide to Praying in the Home by David Clayton and Leila Lawler
The Lazy Liturgical by Jenna Hines
The Catholic All Year Compendium by Kendra Tierney
Around the Year with the von Trapp Family by Maria von Trapp
Feast! by Haley and Daniel Stewart
Blessed Is She liturgical planner

Jesus Calling Bible Storybook by Sarah Young
The Action Bible by Doug Mauss and Sergio Cariello
Catechism of the Seven Sacraments - Building Blocks of Faith Series
Catholic Journaling Bible

Nicholas: the Boy Who Became Santa dvd
Veggie Tales St. Nicholas - a Story of Joyful Giving dvd
The Day the Sun Danced dvd
Bernadette - The Princess of Lourdes dvd
Juan Diego - Messenger of Guadalupe dvd
The Prince of Egypt dvd

Also, if you'd like to bring me to your parish or event to speak I would love to! You can check out my speaking page and shoot me an email!

I'm that mom you dislike so much, sitting in the front pew with my unruly kids

2019-02-01T18:42:00.001-06:00

"There is something in Catholic Church culture that insists kids belong in the sanctuary for Mass. I must say I don’t totally understand it, but it is definitely a Catholic thing. Part of the thinking is that sheer exposure to the service imbues them with grace and other good things in some kind of effortless and mindless sort of way. But if they can’t understand the readings and they cannot take Communion, it is unclear what they are 'receiving' Sacramentally."

Today, our entire parochial school (pre-k4 - 8) braved the single digit temperature and headed over to the our church. They do this every Friday - rain, snow, blazing hot, or perfect weather - for the all school Mass. Parents and grandparents attend too, as do other parishioners, homeschooling families, and all the faculty.

Each week a different grade from Kindergarten on up fills the various rolls. They hold open the doors and shake the hands of their classmates. They serve at the altar if old enough. They lector and cantor. They bring up the gifts and sing in the choir.

The older kids sit with the pre-schoolers and kindergartners, showing them how to genuflect, pointing out the words of the songs, and helping them through the Mass.

It takes a great deal of effort and mindfulness on the parts of the parents and teachers to prepare the students for Mass. The children know and understand that when in the Church and at Mass they are with Almighty God, their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who loves them tremendously. Surely to be in the presence of God, to hear His Word, to be part of the Church, to be welcomed in and actively serving at Mass means they are receiving something, even if it's not a Sacrament.

"Another argument suggests that kids need to 'learn the Mass' and that can only happen through physical attendance. I liken it to bringing a toddler to a lecture or presentation intended for adults, because there is information you want your kids to have. Nobody would ever do that, because it obviously wouldn’t work. They must be introduced to the information in age appropriate ways if they are to learn. Everybody knows this, and yet we ignore it in church."

We whisper explanations to our children at Mass. We help them make the sign of the cross over their forehead, lips, and heart. We explain how and why to genuflect. We point out the Eucharist and whisper praises to Jesus into our children's ears so they will learn to praise Him too. Sometimes my sons will mimic Father, noticing how he moves and holds his hands. I've seen them whisper the prayers under their breath, taking in every detail.

I suppose we could do this by watching the Mass on television, but I have found that being there is so important. We read from a children's Bible at home and talk about our prayers, gestures, and faith. What they see and do at Mass builds on the foundation that has been started at home and at home we then build upon what they have seen and done at Mass. For example, at home they play with their Mass kits, donning dress-up vestments, swinging a stuffed inscensor, and reciting many of the prayers from memory. My sons even preach homilies about how much Jesus loves us.

It is nothing like taking children to an adult-only lecture. It is using everything we have as the primary educators of our children to do our most important job: teach them to know and love God and to understand their faith.

"To this end, I will sometimes see a Mom sitting in the very front row with her child. The front row so the kids can 'see the altar' (as if they’re looking ). Then, a tormented exercise is undertaken in which the kid, who can be distracted with Cheerios for only so long, becomes disruptive.

Which becomes a distraction for everyone, including liturgical ministers and the homilist. I cannot begin to tell you how incredibly difficult it is to try and preach over a crying baby.

In this exercise the parents are fighting a losing battle, and sometimes suffer the unkind, but understandably disapproving glances of the congregation."

On Sundays we are one of those families who sits in the front row so our kids can see what's going on. Our children request it. We also sat in the front when we attended daily Mass almost every day last summer. Sometimes one of us will have to leave with an unruly child. Sometimes all the kids have to pee at once. Sometimes, but very rarely, we have gotten a disapproving glance. But mostly we have people tell us what a beautiful family we have. We've had strangers stop us to thank us for bringing our kids to Mass (and adoration). We've had countless adults tell us about their families of origin, or their kids, or their grandkids and what a joy it is for them to see us. And when we've apologized to our priests for unruly kids our pastors have always told us not to worry, that they don't mind, that they love having kids at Mass.

I don't understand a pastor who would publicly mock a mother for trying to involve her child in Mass instead of correcting his other parishioners for being unkind. I do know how hard it is to speak publicly when babies are crying (or cell phones go off, or people don't pay attention, etc) because all of that has happened to me as a public speaker. But I also know how hard it is to raise kids who want to go to Mass and I would be happy to explain that to any priest who can't even begin to imagine.

"This Sunday brings one of my favorite readings from one of my favorite books of the Bible... 'Ezra the priest brought the law before the assembly,which consisted of men, women and those children old enough to understand.' Nehemiah 8 ... Notice that it says, “men women and children old enough to understand.” The little children and toddlers were not included because they couldn’t understand a long service intended for adults."

Last summer, my in-going 3rd grade son was praying at daily Mass and he saw Jesus approach him, shake his hand, and "chit-chat" with him "for a little bit." Perhaps he would have had this same experience if he were weekly taken out of Sunday Mass for fun! age appropriate! well developed! children's programming, as they do at Church of the Nativity. I am sure that those children's programs are real blessings for a lot of families and they are working in the lives of those kids.

But I cannot discredit what being quiet, still, and attentive at Mass has done for him or my other children or our family as a whole. I know that every child, every family, and every season of life is different. And I know that the quoted passages above are meant for a specific audience - the priest's parishioners, who should have an understanding of the standards and practices of their particular parish. I just wish the pastor of Church of the Nativity could find a way to understand that Mass can be a beautiful thing for people of all ages (it feels ridiculous that I even have to type that). I wish he would have been more careful when crafting his letter, staying away from perpetuating any thinking that belittles the beliefs, intentions, and practices of so many Catholic moms and dads who are very sincerely trying to do their best.

And I wish that instead of loving an Old Testament verse that favors restricting children from the proclamation of the Sacred Scripture, this pastor had instead written from the perspective of Christ. "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them." Mathew 19:14

To The End : a Lenten Devotional from Blessed Is She

2019-01-30T22:59:00.001-06:00

Well ladies, it's here. With Ash Wednesday just around the corner, Blessed Is She has released its Lenten devotional To The End: the story of sacrificial love. This beautiful devotional accompanies us through Lent by pondering and discussing the tension of the sorrow of the Cross and the joy of the Resurrection. It focuses on the Gospel of John and the sacrificial love of Christ.

If you're a paid member there's a good chance you have already received your copy, but if you're not I invite you to head over to the BIS store and order yours now.

Just so you know, the layout is similar to previous devotionals with a mix of essays, Scripture, reflection questions, and optional journaling space. Each week is devoted to a theme:

And follows the following format each week:
Monday: introduction to the theme
Tuesday: Scripture passage and reflection questions
Wednesday: reflection on Scripture
Thursday: Scripture passage and reflection questions
Friday: reflection on Scripture
Saturday: weekly examen // a reflective prayer practice from Ignatian spirituality
Sunday: journal for observations from the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass

To The End was written by Jenna Guizar with co-authors Beth Davis and Nell O'Leary. I've read ahead a bit and ladies, the essays are so beautiful, so vulnerable, so moving. I hope you'll come along and do this with me. Maybe we could even do a weekly chat about it on FB or IG? Let me know if you like that idea.

And one last time, here's my affiliate link so you can read more about To The End and buy one for yourself.

A Special First Confession

2019-01-24T13:45:00.003-06:00

Our miracle baby made his first confession last night and it was incredibly special. His big brother helped him pick out some nice clothes. His older sister encouraged him. His godparents prayed for him. And when we came home he celebrated with a big bowl of sorbet and CocoWhip.

JF has a few special needs and so his preparation looked a little bit different than what we did for our previous two children. We brainstormed with his tutor, our priest, and some good friends, including one whose adult son has special needs. Their insights were invaluable and along with having frequent conversations with JF about sin, mercy, prayer, and our relationship with God, we figured out ways to help him in his struggles with speech, reading, and anxiety.

JF has been diagnosed with childhood apraxia of speech which can make it difficult for him to communicate, especially when he is tired or upset, and occasionally make him hard to understand. To help in that area we had our priest over for dinner last month. He and JF played card games, which allowed Father to get used to the way JF speaks and let JF feel more comfortable with Father.

We were also afraid that James would be so nervous and anxious that he wouldn't be able to read or remember his list of sins. To help with that we took pictures of him acting out his sins and then made a small booklet. The booklet included not only the pictures, but captions that he or Father could read if need be, and on the back was the act of contrition. We used it as we practiced and JF took it with him to confession. This worked so well and I'm so grateful to my friend who suggested it to me.

To help with his anxiety, Father heard JF's confession first and did so in the sacristy, where JF could see me right outside the door. You guys, it was beautiful. Father was amazing and James had an excellent experience.

I wanted to share this with you all because sometimes we need reminders that good things are happening in this broken world, too. There those of us who not only believe but live out the fact that everyone has dignity, that God's grace and mercy are for everyone, that life is beautiful, and that in real life people are awesome.

He can heal that, too: my word of the year

2019-01-05T22:04:00.001-06:00

I started looking for my word of the year in Advent, wanting to start the liturgical new year with an idea of what God was planning for me.

My word from Jen's generator came easily: fearless. It was the first one that popped up and it instantly felt right.

My word from God did not come so easily but once it came I knew it was truly from Him: healing.

It took me a month to find it but now that word seems inescapable.

On Monday of this past week I dreamed* that Death came while I was sleeping, touched my womb, and took my child. Two days later, at 21 weeks pregnant, the midwife could not find a heartbeat though she searched and pressed for at least five minutes. She left the room to arrange for a sonogram and I sobbed. Later, after a sono found a healthy, happy, living baby, I was talking to God about my fear and I heard Him. "I can heal that, too."

On New Year's Day, the Solemnity of the Mother of God, the Second Reading was proclaimed: As proof that you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying out, "Abba, Father!" So you are no longer a slave but a son... And I couldn't help it, the reading from Galatians spoke right to a very old, tender hurt that is currently being beaten upon and I heard Him. "I can heal that, too."

I followed Shannon's posts on body image and hated them all because they hurt so much but as I sat there reading her words and hating my body I heard Him. "I can heal that, too."

I am afraid of healing because I would rather hide from the pain then deal with it. Healing, it seems to me, means looking at the lies and the wounds and the very deep, old, unfulfilled longings and letting them rage with all their might until they die down like a storm.

I pondered to God, "Is this how I am to be fearless? Am I to stand up to the fear and let the pain and sobs and all the feelings come?" And He said to me, "I can heal that too."

I've noticed, and maybe you have too, that I don't hear Him say, "I will heal that," but "I can heal that," which at first seemed a little odd. He is the Father who keeps His promises, so why wouldn't He promise it to me?

Right now - and this may change as life happens and things are revealed, but right now - I think it's because He knows and I know that the only way He will heal these things is if I cooperate with grace and allow Him to do so. And I think that's where I need to be fearless, in the places where I am scared I need to trust and let Him in and relinquish it all to Him.

As a role model in fearlessness I was given Blessed Sara Salkahazi as my saint of the year. I knew nothing of her when I first read her name, but she was a Hungarian nun, killed by the Nazis for her work hiding, moving, and helping Jews. I am very glad to have been introduced to a woman with such bravery and conviction. She's got some work to do when it comes to interceding for me!

This is only the beginning and it feels like I may be on the brink of another rough year. But I am hopeful that soon enough God will bring me to a new place with my heart fortified so satan's stupid lies can cause no more pain.

Please, God.
Amen.

* Further context for why the nightmare was so bad for me: When I was pregnant with my oldest, Lydia, I dreamed I was holding a sweet baby girl and from that dream I just *knew* I was having a girl. When I was pregnant with Ben I dreamed I was holding an adorable baby boy and I just *knew" I was having a boy. And when I was pregnant with James I dreamed that I gave birth to a stillborn baby boy on my bedroom floor. When I told Travis about the dream he said to me, "That can't happen." We never talked about it again, though we both worried and, of course, it is exactly what happened.

Look Back (2018 was a good year to me)

2018-12-30T18:32:00.000-06:00

In 2018 I had two words for the year, but for me the were linked and essentially told me to do the same thing. BE came from prayer and BLOSSOM came from Jen Fulwiler's word generator. After a hard, hard eighteen months beforehand the words felt like gifts from God. He wouldn't be asking me to grow through suffering or be pruned. He was asking me to do well in the place He had already put me. I could just be.

I had hoped that in the year I'd come to have more confidence in myself, to be more comfortable in my own skin, to stop deflating every time I looked in a mirror but those things didn't happen.

However, I did find peace and contentment more quickly (if I had to search for it at all) when others' successes surpassed my own. (This is most of the time, people.)

I built the habit of saying YES to my children. Yes, I will do a puzzle with you. Yes, I will hold you. Yes, I will help you with that. Yes, you can bake a cake. And if I had to say No I always had a good reason, not just my own laziness or personal comfort.

I learned to say yes promptly instead of saying "wait" or "in a second," which always meant five or thirty minutes. I turned from my computer or phone or book or show (usually) immediately to show with my actions that my family really is of the utmost importance to me.

I found that I often had to make these actions a prayer to God, pointing out to Jesus that I was taking care of Him by taking care of them, and I regularly asked Mary to mentor and intercede for me. And then at some point it became less hard and more natural.

I came to relish feeling little and hidden, doing my most important work in small moments that could not be paraded on Instagram. There was no audience to see me except those who love me unconditionally. I felt like what I was doing was hugely insignificant in the eyes of the world but immeasurably needed and wanted by those in my home - my husband, my children, and my God - and it was freeing.

I don't know what God will do this coming year but last year was so, so good for my heart.

My top posts on Instagram, top to bottom, left to right:

1 - "a baby due in May"
2 - "This picture of a healthy baby and a strong heartbeat is more than just one baby and one pulse. It leans on all my children, living and dead..."
3 - "Jesus Christ is Risen!"
4 - "praying for a miracle for Mark."
5 - "The Advent Care Package Giveaway"
6 - "long hair, white legs, a barrel of a belly, and kids running all over the place"
7 - "Happy All Hallow's Eve!"
8 - "Happy Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus!"
9 - "Just like the cake Hagrid sat on!"

How We Watch Elf

2018-12-25T17:49:00.000-06:00

Each December the family sits down and watches Elf together. We watch it in a special way and as I was telling some friends about it one said it needed to be on the blog. So here it is, how we watch Elf.

Needed Materials:
pajamas
blankets and pillows
one copy of Elf starring Will Ferrell
cotton candy, preferably white
mini bottles of Coca-Cola
hot chocolate
gum drops (we used Dots)
candy canes
marshmallows
cookies
popcorn

First:
Feed the children lots of veggies and protein for dinner. This important because soon enough they will be inundated with sugar. Have them drink water, too.

Next:
Get everyone ready. Pajamas, favorite blankets, snuggle down, pop the popcorn, start the movie.

Then:
Wait for key phrases and scenes in the movie. When they happen pause the movie and pass out the food. (Or keep the movie playing - whatever works best for your family.)

#1 - "I'm a cotton-headed ninny muggin" = everyone gets a bit of cotton candy. I usually pass it out while calling everyone cotton-headed ninny muggins because I'm such a good mom.

#2 - Buddy walks through the Candy Cane Forrest = pass out a candy cane to everyone.

#3 - Buddy tells of how he ventured through the sea of swirly whirly gumdrops = each kid gets a small handful of gumdrops.

#4 - At dinner with his family Buddy guzzles a 2 liter bottle of Coca-Cola = pass out mini bottles of Caffeine Free Coca-Cola (watch out for Buddy-sized burps from the kids)

#5 - Buddy and Michael have the snowball fight = throw marshmallows at your kids.

#6 - Buddy takes Jovie on date and she drinks the World's Best Cup of Coffee = mugs of hot chocolate

#7 - When Buddy etch-a-sketches the apology / good-bye letter to his family (I'm sorry I ruined your lives and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR.) = everyone gets a cookie (or eleven, but I would stick with one small one.)

And that's it. If everyone sings along to "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" at the end that's a lot of fun, too. And honestly, I either do the coke or the cocoa and not both.

My kids look forward to this every year, and honestly, I do too. It's such a fun tradition.

Advent: Ever Ancient, Ever New

2018-12-09T19:18:00.005-06:00

I know that people will do what works for them, but what works for me is to have times of feast and fasts, flurries of bustling followed by blank spaces. After the abundance of autumn, with its pumpkins and leaves and groaning dinner tables, I like a good pause. Time to pack away the decorations, wipe up the dust, sweep away the crumbles. It's not even that I prefer or just like it this way: I need it this way. There is a sort of inaudible silence created in our home. There is nothing - no decoration or themed book stack - to communicate to me about what I should be focusing on. There is just room to sit, breathe, rest.

Our assistant pastor said that the Church gives us liturgical seasons because change is good for us - we cannot get stuck in our ways, we must shake the dust off and switch gears. And he is right, but in my heart I also know that the liturgical seasons are change for people who don't like change. (me) There is a wonderful, circular rhythm instead. Fast, feast, pause, fast, feast, pause. Those pauses - those ordinary times - are ripe with the opportunity to grow deep in the silence. And so it continues:

Ever ancient, ever new.

In the final days of this past November I clung to the last days of Ordinary Time and distanced myself from the barrage of Christmas-before-Advent. I know indulging that way is a balm for many weary souls and exhausted hearts, but it just wore me out and made me miserable.

I know, too, that my kids would have loved to jump right in with everyone else, but instead, in our home, we slowly let Advent emerge. Stockings, Jesse Tree, empty nativities, and the Advent wreath on the First Sunday. Then eventually lights. And then the Christmas tree with all its trimmings. And no rush on reading the books or watching the movies - there's plenty of time to get them all in.

I long for snow days and blizzards, for fires and cocoa and snuggling after sledding and de-bundling.

I crave silence, mitigated by carols and family movie nights.

I bake, kneading the dough and reflecting on the millions of women who have kneaded dough before me, regardless of time or place or financial means.

Ever ancient, ever new.

I hope and pray that my kids will look back on their childhoods and appreciate the way that Travis and I have brought the liturgical year into our home. I hope that their childhoods will be remembered as being filled with wonder, love, and joy. I hope the meaning of it all is seeping into every nook and cranny of their hearts and souls so that it is impossible for them to turn away from their Lord and faith. To do so would be to turn away from gingerbread cookies and laughing at Home Alone and Elf as much as it is turning away from the stories that make up salvation history as told through the Jesse Tree and singing O Come O Come Emmanuel before Grace at dinner.

Advent is my favorite of all the liturgical seasons. It is a time that acknowledges how weary I am, that I am laying in sin and error, pining for the coming of my Savior. It is a time that reminds me to wait in joyful hope for the coming of the Lord. It is a time that allows for the tension of all those things, while encouraging me to sit under a blanket and read to my kids, forgoing my chores for a little while to focus on what matters more. What matters most. What - Who - has always mattered most.

Ever ancient, ever new.

The Mary Consoles Eve print is from the sisters at Our Lady of the Mississippi Monastery and can be purchased here.

Things Kids Say

2018-11-28T12:23:00.003-06:00

Ben: I can't wait until tomorrow.
Me: What's tomorrow?
Ben: School.

Me: Is MJ awake or asleep?
Jofis: She's wide asleep!

Resa telling me the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf
Me: So what's the lesson we can learn from that story?
Resa: Don't say the name of dangerous animals over and over again or one might show up.

Me: Thomas, can you say your name? Say "Thomas."
Thomas: Train. Choo-choo!

Unnamed Child: Why do we always have to go to Mass?
Me: Because Daddy and I love God very much and He loves us. We go to Mass to be with Him in the Eucharist, so we can pray and be close to Him.
Ben: Jesus talks to me in prayer.
Me: Really? What does He say?
Ben: I don't know. I couldn't hear Him....
Me: What do you mean?
Ben: Last week I was praying at Mass and I saw Jesus come up to me. He shook my hand and we chit-chatted a bit.
Me: What did you chat about?
Ben: I don't know. I couldn't hear. There was thunder.
Me: Like it was raining outside and there was thunder?
Ben: No, there was thunder in my prayer.

L: Miriam calls me Mommy!
Resa: Miriam calls me Mommy!
Me: Miriam, what's my name?
MJ: -

MJ, licking ketchup off a plate: Mmm, mmm, mmmm!

Resa: Can you hurry up and have that newborn baby?!!!

Our Harry Potter Birthday Party

2018-11-21T11:05:00.001-06:00

Over the summer we introduced our kids to Harry Potter and they were very pleased to make his acquaintance.

We checked out the audio books from the library and the kids were entranced. As we finished a book we'd watch the movie, which we did four times over. On July 31st we even celebrated Harry's birthday. Ben listened to the fifth book but then was told he couldn't listen to any more until he'd read the ones he'd listened to. L, our oldest, lost patience with our pace in audio book 3 and picked up my old copies, finishing the whole series in no time.

It wasn't a surprise then when Ben and JF, both with September birthdays, requested a Harry Potter themed birthday party. You guys, I have been waiting for this day for years!

We started with Hogwarts acceptance letters, which were tied to a flock of white (balloons) owls, and hand delivered around town. Of course I didn't get a picture of them but they pretty much looked like what Kathryn did here.

I then enlisted the kids' help with decorations. I addressed envelops to Harry, had the kids seal them and draw red "sealing wax" circles on the back, and then we made H's for Hogwarts on the circles. These came flying out of the fireplace, just like what happened on 4 Privet Drive.

When kids arrived for the party they entered through Platform 9 3/4.

Their first stop was Ollivander's Wand Shop. We printed off a sign and taped it to our tv in the living room. Then on a small table we put a plate of wands (pretzel rods - some plain, most covered in chocolate, and most of those with some sort of sprinke). The kids chose a wand (or the wand chose them) and they started snacking.

We then ushered them into the Great Hall. I had rolled up paper, stapled slips of yellow construction paper to the top, and hung the "candles" from the ceiling. L colored the Slytherin, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw house crests that I printed off the internet and we mounted them on construction paper. We also used Harry's glasses, a Gryffindor scarf, and a wand for the centerpiece.

Next we started the Sorting Ceremony. This was a favorite part of the entire party.

Days before the event I texted every parent and asked them to give me three words to describe their kids. If the parent was familiar with Harry Potter I would confirm the House I planning on sorting them into, otherwise I just did my best.

Before the guests arrived we sent our kids into the backyard to play and our friend Joel snuck into the house with his bluetooth speaker. He and Travis strapped it to the back of a patio chair we had brought into the Great Hall. Because of the design of the chair and the average height of elementary school aged kids the speaker was right behind their heads. Then Joel hid in a bedroom down the hall with a list of all the kids, the adjectives their parents had given me, and their House.

When it was time for the Sorting Ceremony Travis, who was linked to the Bluetooth speaker, called Joel, who gave an Oscar-worthy performance as the Sorting Hat. Everyone cheered, laughed, and clapped and was so excited to see which House they would be in. Even the kids who had never heard of Harry Potter loved this part!

Once all the kids were sorted we started classes. I kept JF and his friends in the kitchen for Potions class. They mixed mermaid water (Sprite) with unicorn tears (food coloring) and fairy rocks (Poprocks). This was another huge hit.

Meanwhile Ben and his friends were outside finding dragons in Care of Magical Creatures. They also just ran around, played on the swingset, and jumped on the trampoline. Each class then switched.

After classes were done, Travis pulled out the Marauder's Map and made each kid solemnly swear they were up to no good. He then led them through and around Hogwarts while I switched over the Potions classroom into Honeydukes sweet shop in Hogsmeade. They went out the backdoor, in the basement entrance, through a maze Trav had made in the basement, through several rooms, and out the egress window, around the house, and back to the kitchen. You can see it on the HP Party Video on my Instagram account.

Some kids took a quick stop in the bathroom, where they saw Moaning Myrtle, to wash their hands...

and then they indulged in lots of good treats and sweets at Honeydukes.

We sang Happy Birthday to the boys and served the cake and the kids had refills on their mermaid water.

After all the sugar they were sent outside to run around until their parents came to pick them up, greeted, of course, by our front porch's scarecrow who had dressed himself up for the party.

It was such a fun day, and while it took a lot of time and planning to pull it all off it didn't feel like much work at all because of how fun it was for me. Also, we had those envelopes and candles up for at least a month!

My kids loved the party and their guests had a great time. I will confess, there were probably as many parents who were re-living their childhoods right along with me at this party, too. I know HP is not for everyone but it has been a blessing for our family and this party was just the best.

Advent Care Package Giveaway

2018-11-16T14:38:00.001-06:00

Photo by Caley Dimmock on Unsplash

Congrats to Bailey P and Margaret A who won the Giveaway!!!

And once again, a huge THANKS to all the small businesses who donated their goods! You guys are the best and I'm so grateful for the way that you spread good cheer.

Advent starts on December 2nd, about two weeks from now. Did your chest tighten a bit from stress when you read that? Mine did when I wrote it.

We've got things to do, right? Gifts to buy, cookies to bake, parties and pageants and programs to attend. There's feast days to prepare for and holiday traditions to carry on or begin for the very first year. We've got wishlists to build or research and Sweet Baby Jesus, please don't let anyone get sick. (+Amen.)

It can be super stressful so let me help with that. This Advent Giveaway is a Care Package to two of you from me and all the wonderful crafters, makers, and small business owners who donated their beautiful, exceptional, hard work.

The value of this giveaway is $900! That means that each winner will receive a Care Package worth $450!

I am so, so grateful to all the vendors and crafters who donated items. People are so generous and so I hope that you thank them by showing them some love. Follow their social media accounts, favorite their Etsy shops, share their work and shop names with friends, and best of all: purchase from them, either now or in the future.

Directions to enter and all the fine print are at the bottom. Now check out all the goods!

Beauty Counter - Susan Husband

Holiday Hand Cream Trio: $30

Brass Mint & Co

Mother of Our Savior, Queen of Heaven and Earth print: $30

Follow on Instagram

Etsy Shop

Call Her Happy
Lazy Liturgical Book: $25

30 Days to Calm: $25

I Prayed a Rosary for You & misc postcards: $30

Follow on Instagram
Etsy Shop

Catholic Curio

St. Nicholas Cookie Cutter: $7
Hail Mary Pencils: $8
JMJ Pencils: $10
Follow on Instagram
Etsy Shop

Mailing list, email catholiccurio@gmail.com with OPT IN in the subject line.

Wholesale orders are available!

Coupon: ADVENT2018, $5 off a purchase of $30 or more, running Nov 16 - 20

Chews Life

Mama Necklace: $24

Shop Credit for Divine Mercy Teether: $22
Follow on Instagram
Shop Website

Laura Kelly and Franco David Fanucci

Grieving Together: $16

Follow the Blog

Follow on Instagram

Buy on Amazon (affiliate link)

Fitz Knitz

Adult Stocking Cap with ponytail slot: $20

Child Earwarmer Headband with Hearts: $12 347
Etsy Shop

Just Love Prints

Be Who God Meant You to Be print: $16
Follow on Instagram
Etsy Shop
Coupon: 15% off your order of $25 or more with code AKNOTTEDLIFE18. Expires December 30, 2018

Lily Joy Designs

6' Advent Garland and Decade Rosary: $52
6' Christmas Garland and Decade Rosary: $52
Follow on Instagram
Etsy Shop
Coupon: BONNIE10 for 10% until Black Friday. Black Friday through Cyber Monday 15% off the entire shop + use SMALLBIZ2018 for free shipping on Small Business Saturday.

Look to Him and Be Radiant

Catholic Colorable Stickers: $8

Advent Candle Stickers: $5

Watercolor Stain Glass Women of the Bible Stickers: $5

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Etsy Shop

Marekmade

Our Lady Doll: $42

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Etsy Shop

Marzipantz

Mini St. Nicholas Doll: $45

Mini St. Lucy Doll: $45

Follow on Instagram
Follow on Facebook
Etsy Shop
Coupon: Bonnie10 for 10% off anything in the store through the end of December.

Providential Co.

Holy Family Candle: $24

Sign up for the mailing list for special Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday deals here.
Follow on Instagram
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Shop the Website

Haley Stewart

The Grace of Enough: $15

Follow the Blog

Follow on Facebook

Follow on Instagram

Listen to the Podcast

Buy on Amazon (affiliate link)

Studio Senn

Pelican in Piety Enamel Pin: $12

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Shop the Website

Coupon: 15% off entire shop with SUPPORTSMALL from Black Friday - November 30th. Limited supply Storybook maps discounted, no code needed.

Telos Art & Design

2018-2019 Yearly Liturgical Calendar Poster: $18
Color-As-You-Go Liturgical Calendar, inspired and informed by the Ordinary Form of the Catholic liturgy. The full, 365-day calendar year is represented on a single sheet of 12x18" heavyweight paper. Purchase the full-color version to display side-by-side. Great for teachers, religious education classrooms, or around the home!

Vintage Aluminum Marian Medal on 16" sterling silver rope chain: $24

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Shop the Website

Kendra Tierney
Catholic All Year Liturgical Wall Calendar: $21
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Shop the Website

Usbourne Books - Sarah Ortiz

That's Not My Snowman book: $10

The Story of Baby Jesus book: $10

Follow on Instagram

Shop the Website

Thirty-One - Jessica Thornton

Zip Top Organizing Utility Tote: $35

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Join the Facebook Group

Shop the Website

Someday Saints

Bag with Tassel Keychain: $28

Follow the Blog

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Etsy Shop

Join the mailing list here for exclusive pre-sales and coupons.

Coupon: DEFENDUS for free St. Michael zipper charm upgrade; FREEFIFTY for free shipping on orders over $50

Whole Parenting Goods
Stella Wall Quilt, size 9"x12": $62
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Etsy Shop

Small Business Saturday Sale: 20% off everything

P l u s !
I wanted to add a lot of little extras because a lot of the time it's the little things that can fill the gaps, right? So here's a few more of my favorite things. All of these items were purchased by me for you!

Stocking Stuffers & Hygge Helpers: $30

Candles, hot cocoa, a new pen, window clings, candy canes, peppermints, and chocolates, snowflake washi tape, St. Nick chocolate coins, homemade chocolate chip cookies, and Advent Candles

Rules and fine print:
One winner will be drawn from the blog and one from Instagram. Care Packages will not have the exact same content but will be of equal cash value.

To enter on the blog you must leave a comment below - tell me which item you're most excited to win and BE SURE TO GIVE ME YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS. Your email will only be used to contact you if you are the winner and entries without email addresses will be disqualified.

To enter on Instagram you must go to the main Advent Care Package Giveaway post (here) and follow the directions there. Instagram is in no way responsible for this giveaway nor is this giveaway sponsored, endorsed, or administered by or associated with Instagram.

The giveaway was extended and now ends Tuesday, November 20th at 3pm CST, or basically once I close comments. The two winners will be announced here, on Instagram, and on the A Knotted Life Facebook page. The blog winner will be contacted via email and the Instagram winner will be contacted via an Instagram Direct Message. Winners will have 24 hours to respond with their mailing address. If I do not have a response in 24 hours a new winner will be drawn. Open to US residents 18 and older. Sorry international friends.

Good luck and have fun!

PS - You can find a few of my family's favorite things for Advent and Christmas at my Amazon Store (affiliate link). This store includes albums, movies, games, and other items we really use and really love during the holiday season and all hygge-long.

A Response to President Emmanuel Macron

2018-10-18T09:50:00.001-06:00

I don't speak French so maybe I missed some nuanced reasoning in French President Emmanuel Macron's comment, "Present me the woman who decided, being perfectly educated, to have seven, eight or nine children." I'll tell you what though, my first response to that comment was a great big, "Forget you, Macron."

Once I stopped calling him names in my head I read a bit more and saw that he was trying to advocate for education for girls and an end to child brides. I appreciate that. I am 100% on board with that.

But this is not the first time that Macron has talked about Africa as one large place where women unfortunately keep popping out babies. (I found this NPR article written by a Ugandan woman very helpful.) How condescending and sad that he - like most of the western world - does not see fertility as a gift and children as blessings. And I feel a little furious about this man implying / stating that African women are only having big families because they are not better educated.

I love that women from around the world (yes, not just white, middle class Americans) have shared pictures of their large families as a way of presenting themselves to Macron. Look at us: we are educated - some of us impressively so - and we did choose this. Look at us, Macron: there are women all around the world who have not only educated our minds but have formed our hearts and consciences so that we understand that life is beautiful, our bodies are amazing, babies are gifts, and love is the greatest resource we have. We want you to know this, too, Macron, because it is beautiful and joyful and powerful.

I know some of you will want to do more than post a picture of your large family on social media, or like someone else's picture of their large family, so I invite you to do what President Macron was talking about and support education in Africa. We can put our money where our values are.

My former pastor is Fr. Julius Turyatoranwa. He served at my parish while finishing his doctorate in education. Last December he returned to his home diocese in Uganda and has been overseeing the fruit of several years of fundraising done in the States: he is building a school that will educate boys and girls who live in poverty.

When St. Patrick Boarding Primary School first opens in February 2019 it will serve as a day school for local children but once the dormitories are complete children will be educated and will receive three meals a day and clean water. This kind of education and nutrition is usually only for the wealthy but Fr. Julius is changing that.

Fr. Julius purchased the land the school is being built on. He has worked for years to raise money for his people. This is not a white man from an outside country telling the people of southwest Uganda what they need - this is a man born and raised there, with dozens of nieces and nephews and grand-nieces and nephews still in the area, who is using all the resources and gifts God has given him to positively impact generations of Ugandan children.

Fr. Julius would always say to us, "Fifty cents buys a brick. You give me fifty cents and I can buy a brick to build the school." If you can give $20 to the Building Hope in Kids - Uganda foundation you will buy 40 bricks. For $50 a month you can sponsor a child's education. Give them $500 so they can buy desks and books and posters. Give them anything you can and know that it is going to a school that believes in the value of all human life and exists to give children in poverty - girls included! - a chance to succeed.

I personally vouch for this organization and I am grateful for any help you can give. You can learn more about Building Hope in Kids - Uganda and give to their efforts by clicking here.

PS - Fr. Julius would be disappointed in my calling President Macron names in my head and would want us all to pray for Macron to have a conversion of heart and to go to confession. So let's do that, too.

There's a pattern

2018-10-17T09:47:00.000-06:00

Baby #1 - lost early in pregnancy
Baby #2 - Girl
Baby #3 - Boy
Baby #4 - Boy
Baby #5 - Girl
Baby #6 - Boy
Baby #7 - Boy
Baby #8 - Girl
Baby #9 - ???

Due in mid May 2019!
We are so happy!

Book Review, Autumn Playlist, Costumes, & GF - a Potluck Post

2018-10-12T14:52:00.001-06:00

It's been awhile since I've chatted with you, unless you follow along on Instagram, so I thought I'd give a quick run down on all the little things I've been doing. I call these my Potluck Posts because it's just a little of this and a little of that and lighthearted chitchat.

First up:
I'm pretty happy to report that I am part of my diocesan paper's new book review team. For my first review I wrote about Haley Stewart's new book The Grace of Enough. You can read my thoughts on page 9. If you're a bookish Instagram user you may want to give @catholicpostbookpage a follow. My friend Katie and I are co-running the account and have some fun things planned.

Also!
If you're looking for a fun podcast with some of my favorite people may I humbly suggest this week's episode of The Gathering Place podcast which features Kendra Tierney. It was such a fun conversation to eavesdrop on and so neat to hear Kendra talk about all the neat ways we can incorporate liturgical living in our lives.

I don't know about you but...
When the leaves start to change and it's chilly outside I crave a certain type of music. I put together this Autumn Playlist on Spotify. It's a pretty varied collection of songs but I hope you like it!

And,
Blessed Is She Advent Devotional is still available for pre-sale. If you haven't snagged yours yet you can grab yours here. That's my affiliate link and if you use it - thank you!

Funny fact, not every affiliate program allows us to thank the people who use our links but Blessed Is She does and so let me just make it super clear right now that our family always appreciates it when you buy through my link. I know some people use a different link each time you buy something and I love that! God bless you for your thoughtfulness!

Which reminds me:
At the beginning of the month I told the kids that in a few weeks we'd be making our annual visit to a local park for their Halloween activities and a week or so after that we'd be trick-or-treating so they needed to go downstairs to the dress up bins and find their costumes. This is what they came back with:
L is going as Hermione Granger and we've purchased a wand and tie (affiliate link) but need to find a robe.
Ben says he's going as a skeleton investigator, which really just means he's wearing his Doctor Who coat from last year with Jofis' skull mask. We'll see if this sticks.
JF is using Ben's old Batman costume. (affiliate link)
Resa will be wearing a Cinderella dress and slippers. (affiliate link)
Tee will wear Jofis' old spoooooky ghost costume and
MJ will be wearing a super cute lady bug costume sent to us from Kathryn at Team Whitaker.

And did I tell you:
Recently JF had some blood work done and it came back with two of the three markers for celiac disease. We have to have it confirmed with a scope but we've taken him off gluten and he's already commented about how much better he feels. It makes me feel so sad that he was living with a constant stomach ache and didn't even know that he was supposed to feel better! Poor buddy. We're already dairy, egg, nut, sesame seed, and pea free so adding gluten to the list is a bit demoralizing (I confess I cried a bit) but we can do it. Wish me luck as I try to make a dairy-egg-nut-sesame-pea-gluten free dough that will work for our King Cake, St. Lucy buns, cinnamon rolls, crusty bread, and so forth. My current recipe is free of all those things but the gluten and it tastes so good - I'm just not sure how it will work once it's gf.

So that is what's new here! ♡

The Pelican and the Phoenix

2018-08-27T11:48:00.000-06:00

St. Maximilian Kolbe loved Mary and her Immaculate Heart. He loved her passionately and spent much of his life leading people to love Mary so that she could lead them to her Son with a more perfect love.

On his feast day, August 14th, 2018 a the Penn grand jury report was released and since then more and more filth has come out. Around the country many people have learned that the men who married them, heard their confessions, gave them their first communions, and baptized their babies also molested and abused children and teenagers. The Bishop who confirmed me has been named as complicit in covering up McCarrick's scandal.

Over the weekend I learned that a former nuncio released a statement on the Feast of the Queenship of Mary. This statement explains how Pope Benedict knew about McCarrick and took away many of his privileges but then Pope Francis knew and lifted the sanctions. Pope Francis has said he would not say a word about it and we need to draw our own conclusions. This is not acceptable to me. If the pope wants to have a relationship with me as my Holy Father then he needs to speak.

Friends, I am tempted to give up, to despair. Who do I trust and how do I trust them? I have written letters. I will write more, using Nell and Jenny's as inspiration, but will they do any good? I don't know. Men I thought were good were weak. I am hoping for transparency and confessions of sins; I am hoping that even the innocent will share all they can and a total purging will happen. Because how else will I ever trust again?

When I picture this situation in prayer I always have the image of a massive building burning down and that's what I want to do: burn it all down. Rip them all out. Stick them in prison with only sackcloth to wear and stones to sleep on. Give them bread and water and fill their days with hard labor and prayer.

And what is this thing that seems to be both collapsing around me and forever firm in its lies and perversion and evil? I have lived out the Church's teachings in ways that are sometimes very hard and I have spent much of my last ten years encouraging other women to live out their Catholic faith with joy and trust. And now I find myself wondering, "What for?"

A Reading from the Gospel according to John:

Jesus said to them, "Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.
Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him.

(The Gospel from August 19th, 2018; the Sunday after the Grand Jury report was published.)

I know that same sex attraction is not the cause for this and at the same time I know that gay men have used the priesthood to groom and prey on young men and that an active homosexual culture has flourished in seminaries and rectories. A lack of chastity combined with seminary directors + vocation directors + bishops lacking the intelligence + courage + personal holiness to kick out bad men is the problem.

I also know that celibacy is not the problem. If it were then anyone living a life of celibacy would be susceptible to this timeline that ends in perversion: nuns, consecrated virgins, single people waiting for the vocation of marriage, and married couples having to abstain for months or years in their practice of NFP. But from what I have read I don't think that is what's going on. Besides, I know of plenty of priests who fell in love with women and they rather simply left the priesthood and married.

In the end, I believe these priests when they say that chastity and priestly community are what is needed. It makes sense to me.

But still. There is so much that needs to change and I have no idea if I can do anything to change it.

A Reading from the Prophet Ezekiel:

The word of the Lord came to me:
Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, in these words prophesy to them to the shepherds: Thus says the Lord GOD: Woe to the shepherds of Israel who have been pasturing themselves! Should not shepherds, rather, pasture sheep? You have fed off their milk, worn their wool, and slaughtered the fatlings, but the sheep you have not pastured. You did not strengthen the weak nor heal the sick nor bind up the injured. You did not bring back the strayed nor seek the lost,
but you lorded it over them harshly and brutally. So they were scattered for the lack of a shepherd,
and became food for all the wild beasts. ... Thus says the Lord GOD: I swear I am coming against these shepherds. I will claim my sheep from them and put a stop to their shepherding my sheep so that they may no longer pasture themselves. I will save my sheep, that they may no longer be food for their mouths. For thus says the Lord GOD: I myself will look after and tend my sheep.

(The First Reading on August 22nd, 2018 the Feast of the Queenship of Mary and the first day of #sackclothandashes.)

When I think on it all long enough the rage comes out and because I cannot yell at the people I am furious with I yell at my kids or am short with a friend. I am so angry about the horrible things people did to children and then I turn around and take it out on my kids.

Lord, have mercy on me.

My son wants to be a priest. He talks about celebrating Mass and practices with his Mass kit. I have prayed to God that He would give one of my sons a vocation to the priesthood. But now I just don't know if I want that for him, for any of them.

A Reading from the Book of Joshua:

When they stood in ranks before God, Joshua addressed all the people:
"If it does not please you to serve the LORD, decide today whom you will serve, the gods your fathers served beyond the River or the gods of the Amorites in whose country you are now dwelling.
As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."

(The First Reading from August 26th, 2018.)

As much as I want to despair, I am also challenged by the words of Fr. Mike Schmitz to evaluate my own life and the ways that I am lax about sin and let things slide. At times this scandal is all crushing and every day since I have learned of it I have had to pick myself up and remind myself that crumbling into useless despair does not serve the Kingdom of God. In the end I want to be a saint so perhaps this is my time.

Perhaps for such a time as this I was put in a happy, supportive marriage so that I may raise up good and holy children who will love and serve the Lord. Perhaps for such a time as this I was given a silly platform to encourage men and women to fast and pray. Perhaps for such a time as this I was given the sometimes annoying ability to passionately brainstorm.

And perhaps it is satan, prowling about, who is whispering in my ears, "You cannot do this. You cannot work with this. There is no answer but acceptance and apathy." Because I think it is God whispering in my heart, "Now!"

I will be honest, it scares me and I have tried to hide from it.

A Reading from the Gospel according to John:

As a result of this, many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him. Jesus then said to the Twelve, "Do you also want to leave?" Simon Peter answered him, "Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe
and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God."

(The Gospel Reading from August 26th, 2018.)

I have come to believe and am convinced that Jesus is the Holy One of God. I am convinced that He established one Church. But, Lord, help me! because this is hard.

But I think that God is speaking to me, to us. Look at these readings. Look at the way that Mary has been with us from the beginning and plans to walk with us through it all. God is asking me, "Who will you serve and will you go?" and He's using the Mass, the feast days of the Church, the saints, and Scripture to very clearly communicate to us. He is using this broken Church to communicate with us which only seems to confirm that it is His and He is guiding it.

The #sackclothandashes period of prayer and fasting continues through the end of September, the month dedicated to Our Lady of Sorrows. Mother Mary, help me to pray and love and not give up. Jesus, truly present in the Blessed Sacrament, sustain me through this. Holy Spirit, guide me.

May the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary triumph in the end! And perhaps future altars will feature the Pelican and the Phoenix.

Photo by Michael D Beckwith on Unsplash

Back to School + a Giveaway

2018-08-24T06:37:00.003-06:00

The kids went back to school and I have been humming "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" for over a week.

Each year I snap pictures of the kids, all shiny and ready to go. JF's picture looks a bit funny because he was struggling to smile through the misery of seasonal allergies but oh well. He's a cute booger butt, as are all the kiddos.

Resa's First Day of 1st Grade

I'm most excited about recess, Math, *everything*! (she sang the word "everything")

I want to be a Mom and a teacher like Mrs. D when I grow up because she has kids but then goes goes to school every day, too!

I like my teacher, Sofia the First, French toast sticks, my Minnie Mouse doll, and my friends.

JF's First Day of 2nd Grade

I'm excited about recess, Math, playing at inside recess, and my First Communion.

I want to be a pumpkin farmer when I grow up.

I like trains, whatever Bennet likes, and safe French toast sticks.

Ben's first day of 3rd Grade!

I'm most excited about seeing my friends and learning about Math some more.

I want to be a priest when I grow up.

I like pizza, JFL, playing ball tag, and chess.

L's first day of 5th Grade!

I'm most excited about getting a *Locker!!" and meeting new teachers.

I want to be a bakery owner when I grow up.

I like school, pizza, cube steak, basketball, cross country, friends, and (my favorite) NOT getting bug bites!!

This Back to School season has brought the addition of L running Cross Country and Ben being in JFL. The kids love these activities and I can see how it's been good for them but it adds a layer of craziness to our schedule to which I'm having a hard time adjusting. We've mostly taken to dinner at 4 because I want to eat as a family as often as possible. Moms who have done this longer than me - HELP! Any tips or suggestions welcome!

Also new this year: we have adopted a patron saint for the school year, an idea I got from my friend Beth. Travis and I chose John Paul the Great, a saint we want our kids to learn more about and love. I brought a picture of him to display in the house and we've already started talking about him more and yelling out, "JPII: Pray for us!" And seriously, JPII, pray for me!

It's not until the second week of September that I really feel like I can say, "We are Back to School, folks!" By that time the school's heat schedule is over and Jofis will be settling into Pre-K4. The rhythm of the school days is such a gift to me and I love it. The structure-free summers are hard for me but the schedule of each school day gives me such a balance of productivity and rest - have I mentioned that I love it? Because I loooooove it.

In honor of my love for Back to School time I reached out to some of my favorite vendors to do a Giveaway. This is perfect for a woman going off to college for the first time or starting her degree after many years out of the classroom. It's perfect for a mom or grandma who is putting her kids or grandkids on the bus, or braving the drop off line, or homeschooling for the first or twelfth year. Heck, this is a great giveaway for any woman who just likes a good chance at winning some amazing, quality, Catholic goods!

Because I love to sip on my coffee or tea each morning from a real mug, the winner will receive a Mug of her choice from Rose Harrington Art.

Because I love having a little pouch in my diaper bag to hold my lipstick, hairband, business cards, and whatnot, the winner will receive a Pencil Bag of her choice from Someday Saints Design.

Because I like to dress to remind myself of why I'm doing what I'm doing, the winner will receive a T-Shirt of her choice from Brick House in the City

Because I love to leave a mark on cards, my planner, and notes to my kids' teachers, the winner will receive a Stamp of her choice from Look to Him and Be Radiant.

Because I purchased a print of JPII with a quote to keep us inspired this school year, the winner will receive a Print of her choice from Santa Clara Design.

Because I think it's fun and powerful, and I love that it's not painful or permanent, the winner will receive a Temporary Tattoo Set of your choice from Just Love Prints.

The total value of this giveaway is over $100. The winner will receive store credit in each online shop for the type of good listed. This giveaway is for anyone 18 or older in the continental US (Sorry, everyone else!)To enter just head over to my Instagram account and follow the rules there!

Congrats to the winner, Karissa!

Sackcloth, Ashes, and Acts of Reparation for Our Lord

2018-08-20T12:26:00.001-06:00

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

The first stanza from W.H. Auden's poem "Funeral Blues" has been running through my head. It's how I feel in the face of all the horrendous news from the past weeks surrounding former-Cardinal McCarrick and the Grand Jury's Report on the rampant sexual abuse by priests and subsequent cover-ups and mishandlings by bishops throughout the state of Pennsylvania.

Naively I did not see this coming. But here it is.

At times I am furious and I want it to burn it all down. At times I can't hold the sobs in. The victims, their families, and all of us who feel betrayed - it's too much. The anger comes and goes in waves but the sadness has been constant.

I didn't see this coming but here it is and more than anything I feel like mourning. This - the violence and lies - feels like death.

Last week I shared how I have written letters but even then, behind the scenes, I was working with Kendra Tierney and other writers, artists, and social media friends to create a mass of people fasting and praying in reparation for what has been done.

As Wikipedia tells us, "Man is restored to grace through the merits of Christ's death, which grace enables him to add his prayers, works, and trials to those of Our Lord "and fill up those things that are wanting of the sufferings of Christ, in my flesh, for his body, which is the church" (Colossians 1:24). Man can thus make some sort of reparation to the justice of God for his own offences against Him, and by virtue of the Communion of the Saints, the oneness and solidarity of the mystical Body of Christ, he can also make satisfaction and reparation for the sins of others."

I seek to console the Sacred Heart of Jesus and will help to bring healing to the Church. I hope you will join me and the many, many others.

Because Mary loves her Son with all her heart I know that she sees His pain and wants to walk with us, her children, as we pray and sacrifice. For that reason, we will be praying and fasting for forty days beginning on the Feast of the Queenship of Mary, this Wednesday, August 22nd, and going throughout the entire month of September, which is dedicated to Our Lady of Sorrows.

Today and tomorrow take the time to consider what you will do: Fast from breakfast, snacks, or creamer in your morning coffee. Give up sweets, podcasts, or Netflix. Pray a daily Rosary or Chaplet of Reparation or attend daily Mass. If possible, talk to your confessor or spiritual director about it and then join us. Pope Francis has even asked us to do this!

Kendra created these images to be used throughout the forty days. Please feel free to save, print, and share them. Encourage your small groups, parochial schools, co-ops, and parishes to join us. You can commit by commenting here or anywhere you see one of the #sackclothandashes graphics. A tremendous evil has been prowling about our Church, the Body of Christ. Let us come together in love for our Lord to soothe His wounds.

Letter Writing and Prayer

2018-08-17T12:35:00.001-06:00

What a horrible, hard week it has been.

I read through much of the grand jury's report on the sex abuse scandal in the Pennsylvania, which really just showed us all how deep and dark and disgusting things have been. Over 300 priests abused over one thousand children and that is gross and heart breaking and horrible.

I have taken to prayer and letter writing and more prayer. I alternate between incredible sorrow and fury. And in the middle I have to keep living life and send the kids back to school and read library books and make dinner. It's such an odd place, this both / and life.

In the coming days and weeks I have things planned for my life online and off and I ask you to walk with me in the tension between living life with joy and love and working through the immense pain, disgust, and horror caused by the scandal in our Church.

In the meantime, I want to share a few articles that I have found helpful to me in this time, along with the Grand Jury's Report itself. Maybe you have seen these already but maybe not and maybe they will be helpful to you, too.

The Grand Jury's Report on the sex abuse in dioceses in Pennsylvania

What's a Faithful Catholic to Do by Jenny Uebbing

A Letter to My Bishop and A Letter to My Parish Priest by Molly Walter

New Allegations Surface Surrounding Archbishop McCarrick and Newark Priests by Ed Condon at the National Catholic Register

Truth Is Needed to Free the Church from Sacrilege of Clergy Scandal by Fr. Roger Landry at the National Catholic Register

What Can WE Do About the Abuse Crisis? by Haley Stewart

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.

The Last Bits of Summer

2018-08-13T18:31:00.000-06:00

This will not be a sentimental post.

The weeks before the kids go back to school are super stressful and overwhelming to me with the overload of errands, appointments, paperwork, and more. The house is constantly messy, the kids are bored of the slip n' slide, there's all kinds of fighting, and I am just so tired of feeding them. They want to go back to school and I want them to, too. How did people do it for thousands of years? How do homeschoolers do it?

To me this is not the end of summer. Summer basically ended on August 6th. I will get out my Fall decorations on September 1st -ish and this time in between is a purgatory of stress and heat and exhaustion. (As an aside, some people think I'm a bit dramatic but I just don't see it.)

I made a playlist to get me through these next weeks. You can see how badly I want to get on with my life in that I titled it "September 2018." Some of the songs are pretty new to me and so I cannot vouch for all the lyrics and content, but if you want to discover some new songs right along with me click over and check it out. There's some safe ones, too, like Ben Rector and Mat Kearney. ;)

School starts with a half day on Thursday, so here's a look the last bits of summer, the things that happened at the end of July and the first week of August. That is, the things that I want to remember.

Jofis celebrated his 5th birthday. He wanted a train cake and party and since his favorite color is green I was able to make all his dreams come true super simply. A few of his classmates and cousins came over, everyone played outside, and we ate wacky cake and drank lemonade. He got a bug catcher and water balloons and his life was made.

I celebrated my birthday, too. I turned thirty-seven and to celebrate I got coffee with friends, went shopping at Target with Travis, bought a new dress, asked people to donate to baby Olivia's GoFundMe, found a few new grey hairs, and overall had a good day.

We also celebrated Harry Potter's birthday. The kids listened to several of the audio books this summer and L read the whole series for the first time. They have watched several of the movies, too, so it was a lot of fun to surprise them with a table filled with candles, pretzel rod wands, and this birthday cake. They snacked in the candlelight while watching the first movie before bed. And just so you know, there's a bit of a back story for this cake and you can hear about it if you watch the You're a Bad Mom video here.

In other news, we were given a Days of Creation paper chain (which you can see here) along with a beautiful, giant floor puzzle from WeeBelievers. Both are super sweet but we especially love the floor puzzle because we are just floor puzzle people, people! I mean, look at how happy Tee is with it! The illustrations are so sweet, you guys. I really love it. But the best part is that it's two sided so it's two, two, TWO puzzles in one!

In other news, I caught this super sweet picture of Travis and Tee sleeping one morning a few weeks ago. I mean, be still my heart.

And now I'll tell you all a secret: this summer we attended 7am daily Mass Monday - Friday. The vast majority of the time the whole family went: Travis, me, and all seven kids. We missed a few days, and occasionally some of us had to stay home but usually we were all there.

Now this was even feasible because:
#1 - we did not have a newborn / someone recovering from major surgery (like last summer)
#2 - Travis is a teacher with summers off and this summer his handyman jobs were all local so he was almost always around to attend with us.

The reasons I wanted to do it are:
#1 - For years Travis and I were daily communicants and I was really missing that Gift.
#2 - I knew that if we attended 7am Mass all summer long our days would still end around 8pm which meant we could keep the same bedtime and evening routine. I knew I wanted to have time with Travis every night and I hoped that the return to the school would feel less like a crash and burn this way.
#3 - I'm hoping it will inspire my boys to love the priesthood and I pray that one of them has been given that vocation.

I don't know what will happen next summer but I know that being able to attend daily Mass this summer was such a gift to me. Even when my kids complained. Even when MJ would not be contained to the pew and had to wander. Even when we had to sit in the cry room because we were so late. It was such a gift.

Speaking of Mass, this seems like a good time to show you the preview copy of Ginny Kochis's new Mass Journal for Kids. Ginny sent it to me and I promptly passed on to my 10 year old, L. It's really lovely, you guys, and if you're looking for something you can either gift to your own children, godchildren, students or use as a family to prepare for or review the Sunday Mass readings I really encourage you to try this.

L and I were both really taken by the layout and feel of the book. It's big; has room for doodles, journaling, and note taking; and includes all the readings + reflections, quotes from the saints, and more. I also like that it goes by seasons - this one covers the Autumn months - so it's not too bulky nor too big of a commitment. If you're looking for a nice Back to School gift this would be a great one, I think.

One last note: the winners for the Sheenazing Awards have finally been announced! You can head to the original post to see who earned the top three spots in each category! Thank you to everyone who voted - over 1,100! - and congratulations to the winners! I hope everyone had fun along the way!

Alright, time to get a move on. See you soon, you guys!

WINNERS for the 2018 Sheenazing Awareds

2018-08-13T12:33:00.000-06:00

Thank you to everyone who voted in the 4th Occasional Sheenazing Awards and Congratulations goes to the winners!

The winners and two runner-ups are listed at the top of each category. If you see them around the internet please be sure to congratulate them on winning an inconsequential award and thank them for doing their part to honor God through their time online.

FAVORITE BLOG

Winner: Mama Needs Coffee
First Runner Up:Carrots for Michaelmas
Second Runner Up: Catholic All Year

Everyday Abundant
Team Whitaker
Blessed Is She Blog
Martin Family Moments
Not So Formulaic
Little Forest Oratory
We, a Great Parade
Never Give Up
Mothering Spirit
Seasons of the Heart and Home
Stumbling Toward Sainthood
In the Light of the Law
My Domestic Monastery
Small Things
This Ain't the Lyceum
Sweeping Up Joy
No Greater Love Blog
Something Pretty Blog
Hail Marry
Gloria in Excelsis Deo
Under Thy Roof
Sterling Jaquith
Do Small Things with Love
Testosterhome
House Unseen
Laura McAlister
Wildflowers & Marbles
A Blog for My Mom
In the Heart of My Home
Better Than Eden
Clover Lane
I Have to Sit Down
Whole Parenting Family
Camp Patton
The Evangelista
The Merrier World
Like Mother Like Daughter
Adam's Ale
The Natural Catholic Mom
A Welcome Grace

FAVORITE INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT

Winner: @blessedisshe__
First Runner Up: @kendra_tierney
Second Runner Up: @mary_scarpati

@marylenaburg
@omariamedia
@sylbass
@rachelbalducci
@carolyn_svellerella
@annunciationdesigns
@among_the_lilies
@linnieautumn
@findingphilothea
@chewslifeshop
@blythefike
@elizabethfoss
@kwhitaker96
@theoodlesofdoodles
@christyisinger
@thismessygrace
@substance_soul
@churchpop
@mattfradd
@booksfaithlife
@onehailmaryatatime
@takeupandread
@everysacredsunday
@hailmarryblog
@jenniferfulwiler
@jenmackintosh
@whole_parenting
@christyisinger
@nunandnunner
@houseunseen
@catholicsoul_2014
@fiatmihi.calligraphy
@therealkatiewaldow
@jacquiskemp
@theresabreslin
@theevangelista
@anendlesspursuit
@positively__imperfect
@catholicsistas
@thecatholicfeminist
@marybighair
@somedaysaintsdesigns
@katieprejean
@armorofgodlv
@rosiehill425
@ordinarylovely
@camilledipaola
@honeychildforest
@acatholicconvo
@thelionheartedlife
@laurenscharmer
@byloverefined
@thefiskfiles
@beaheartdesign
@shannonkevans
@thismessygrace
@bobbi_rol
@haleycarrots
@inhonorofdesign

FAVORITE PODCAST

Winner: Fountains of Carrots
First Runner Up: The Catholic Feminist
Second Runner Up: Abiding Together

Word on Fire Show
Coffee and Pearls
Catholic Stuff You Should Know
While You Were Folding
Catching Foxes
The Jennifer Fulwiler Show
The Gathering Place - Blessed Is She
Ryian's Coffee Shop
The Show with Edmund Mitchell
Busted Halo
Among the Lilies
The Electric Waffle
Read Aloud Revival
FIAT: Faith In All Things
St. Joseph's Workshop
Girlfriends with Danielle Bean
Fr. John Riccardo
Hobo for Christ
The Patrick Coffin Show
Diapers and Disciples
Do Small Things With Love
From the Friars
The Chimney
Ask Fr. Josh
Pints with Aquinas
Thomistic Institute Lectures
Divine Intimacy Radio
Hello and Welcome

FAVORITE YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Winner: Ascension Presents
First Runner Up: Bishop Barron / Word on Fire
Second Runner Up: Emily Wilson

A Catholic Mom's Life
A Country Life
Catholic Home Life
New Catholic Generation
Kate and Mike Catholic Crusade
Athenas Musica
Tabitha Kelley
Gabi After Hours
Sensus Fidelium
Surprised by Marriage
Sterling Jaquith
The Rosary Workout
Mary Scarpati
Pray More Novenas
Steve the Missionary
That Catholic Couple
Fr Roderick
Lizzie's Answers

FAVORITE TWITTER ACCOUNT

Winner: Jennifer Fulwiler @jenfulwiler
First Runner Up: Tea with Tolkien @teawithtolkien
Second Runner Up: Sr. Miriam James @onegroovynun

Sr Helena Burns @SrHelenaBurns
Fr. Goyo @FrGoyo
Joe Sales @joesales
Tommy Tighe @theghissilent
Novus Oreo Watch @novusoreowatch
C.C. Pecknold @ccpecknold
Ed Peters @canonlaw
Sr Theresa Aletheia @pursuedbytruth
Hail Marry Blog @HailMarryBlog
Courtney @catholichomegrl
Catholic Vote @CatholicVote
Kelly Mantoan @kellymantoan
Jenna Guizar @jennaguizar
Meg Hunter Kilmer @MegHunterKilmer
Gloria Purvis @gloria_purvis
FOCUS @FOCUSCatholic
Haley Stewart @HaleyCarrots
Patrick Madrid @PatrickMadrid
Carey Helmick @careyhelmick
Kyle Helmick @HelmickeyMouse
Fr. Dan Folwaczny @frrocketdan

FAVORITE FACEBOOK PAGE / GROUP

Winner: Blessed is She Regional Groups
First Runner Up: Fountains of Carrots Raspberry Cordial Social Club
Second Runner Up: Kendra Tierney - Catholic All Year

Young and Wild Catholic Mamas

Catholic Working Mothers

Leila Miller - Catholic Author/Writer

Take Up and Read

Seasons of the Heart and Home

NFP: Catholic Style!

St. Peter’s Pub

The Hail Marry Hangout

Everyday Ediths

FemCatholic Forum: Where Feminism + Catholicism Meet

Catholic Minimalism Challenge

Catholic Creatives

Among the Lilies

Catholic Geeks

Abiding Together Podcast

BEST KEPT SECRET
These are sorted by type but in the end you can only vote for one, be it IG account, blog, YouTube channel, or podcast, and not one in each.

Winner: Sancta Nomina Blog
First Runner Up: The Real Katie Waldow IG
Second Runner Up: The Catholic Feminist Podcast

Ann Amberto

Wendy “Cajun Texas Mom”

Meg Krueg

Keeping Commonplace

This House You’re Building

Take Up and Read

Books Faith Life

Instabrunk

The Real Katie Waldow

The Catholic Traveler

Shower of Roses

Beth Williby