I recently had an e-mail from a newsletter subscriber asking me a very specific question.

I was about to reply when I had the thought of sharing it with you because I know lots of people who are in, if not the exact same situation, then one very similar.

Before I give you my take (and this is definitely one of those posts that I’d love you to offer your input in the comments), let me share with you the e-mail that Vic (real name) was happy for me to share.

Note: I have edited out some parts that aren’t really relevant for brevity’s sake.

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Hi Tim,

Re: Don’t Hesitate – Meditate

I did enjoy reading your new edition to the “A Daring Adventure” library.

You put a cool touch to a hippy… Wacky Backy world of mystic pleasures… only used by pop stars and the like.

I have been meditating for 25 years using “The TM method”… and I can say in all honesty it saved my ruddy sanity.

After having a heart bypass some 25 years ago my doctor advised me to take up meditation. Of course I let out a littler snigger only to be told quite sternly but in a friendly way… that for my type person whom he classed as a serious type A… that it would help me come to terms with my predicament.

TM is great for quieting the mind and stilling “Ol Critic Nag” the chattering monkey man. And The Silva method you can go to work on yourself or others.

So there you have it… a double whammy package.

I would love to be able to write my very own eBook or kindle… but there always seem s to be a reason why I should do it tomorrow… I think they call it procrastination… or perhaps nobody would be interested in what I have to say?

The reason for my post to you is that… you managed to write your book so easy… and in such a friendly way… in what seemed such a short period of time… after you announced you were in fact going to write it. Any tips? I have the knowledge but lack the author qualities… or is it Critic Nag trying to dissuade me?

Warmest regards
Vic”

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Let me say this as clearly and honestly as I can:

I’m A Crap Writer!

I make basic errors all the time, sometimes through carelessness and other times through blissful ignorance. In short, I write posts that make academic left-brained grown women and men convulse in twisted apoplectic agony.

But it doesn’t matter and I don’t care, because it’s all about the message. If one in ten people can’t face to read me because the syntax (whatever that is) and grammar is all over the place. Good!

Let’s face it, if that drives them nuts, they weren’t really meant to be here in the first place.

They would have positively exploded at posts on dobermans and porn, God, the Law of Attraction and one my all time favorites from a while back, Is That So?

I know I can’t write technically very well, but equally I know I can communicate exceptionally well to people on my wave length like you.

And you are who I want to communicate with because I know you’re open-minded, curious, not easily offended, funny, and probably very good looking if I’m not very much mistaken.

Vic asked how I wrote the book and the honest answer is, I didn’t

I talked that book as though I were talking to you over a nice Venti Latte and a piece of Classic Coffee cake at our favorite purveyor of fine aromatic coffees and pastries.

The only difference is, I was typing as I talked.

Note: Not out loud, I’m not a total loon.

Writing and Communicating Are Not Necessarily The Same Thing

I wasn’t writing, I was communicating and whereas the two can do overlap a lot, they’re not really the same thing.

Of course there were areas that I had to rewrite and that was because I obviously didn’t talk those through very well the first time and they looked shite on paper.

The motivation to do it in such a short time was because I had told my newsletter readers to kick my ass if I didn’t finish it by the end of March and I hate to let people down.

They kindly didn’t kick my arse and I had it finished a week or so later than planned, but still fairly quick.

Er…hm…er, well there was one tiny other thing that helped me.

About half of the material was already available to me in the form of blog posts I’d written over the last couple of years. I just had to find the material, edit it and find a place to slot it in where it made at least some sense.

So that’s one piece of advice to Vic, even if it’s not technically in the right order.

Start a blog and get the win/win of beginning the process of writing your ebook which will help you hone your writing skills in the public arena at the same time.

Because as super author, Michael Crichton oce said:

“Books aren’t written – they’re rewritten”

And no way will your first draft you write be the one you publish unless you’re on acid at the time.

Writing is awesome at forcing you to think your ideas through because it’s a whole different ball game having them floating around in your head than seeing them on paper.

And that pressure steps up a notch when you realize other people are going to be reading, and some will be looking to rip you!

You will write some posts that works from the get-go, but others may be less than stellar.

You shrug, learn from what works and what doesn’t and keep on keeping on.

Before that though, and in response to Vic’s suggested question of whether he should right the book or not?

Yes, Write The Damn Book Already!

It’s a copper-bottomed, locked-in, nailed-on, absolute certainty.

Vic obviously feels like he has a message to deliver and it would be a crying shame if it doesn’t get delivered.

If it sucks and people don’t resonate with it, then at least he did his best and he pushed himself out of his comfort zone, and that is a huge achievement in and of itself.

And most importantly of all, he won’t be regretting being such a wuss in 20 years time when he has carpel tunnel and/or arthritis and probably same cataract issues and his Goldfish laughs at his concentration levels, and he can no more write a book than sleep through the night without a mad dash to the lav.

Note: Probably none of that will actually happen Vic, I was using artistic effect, or lying as it’s known in the trade.

And if he succeeds, then wow, wouldn’t that be cool and life affirming and worth the effort?

As Wayne Dyer says 32 times a day and 50 times at weekends, even I’m reliably assured to his cat who because of such appalling treatment has tried to leave home 3 times and filed a restraining order:

“Don’t Die With Your Music Still Inside You”

I bet you’ve heard that before because D’Wayne (as my wife calls him for some bizarre reason, best known to herself), nailed it in his chunky sweater wearing lovable uncle kind of way

But have you taken it on board and realized what it means?

Vic wants to write an ebook, you may want to do the same, or make a movie, or start a blog, or change careers to something that feels more like a calling than a job and doesn’t having you say TFIF every week!

It doesn’t really matter what it is, you have a duty of care to your future self if it’s psychically possible, to just do it!

There May Be Some Discomfort.

Or indeed there may not because this stage is often vilified unnecessarily.

I’ve worked with plenty of clients who have made such a change and it was much easier and way less scary than they imagined.

Once they took action that is!

Maybe that will be the case with you and maybe Vic will turn into a whirling dervish of meditation writing insanity and bang out his book in one night fueled by Jack Daniels mixed with 5 Hour Energy Drink.

Have I made my point?

If not, I not only suck at writing, I suck at communicating too and feel very foolish.

I want to know what is the music inside you is ? Because I have no doubt that you have something. Don’t worry if you haven’t even started because this could be the start.

And who knows, maybe somebody who reads the comments can help you. Stranger things have happened.

Also if you have any words of encouragement or advice from Vic, my ex-pat friend, I’m sure he’d love to read them.

If you didn’t read my previous post this one won’t make a whole lot of sense to you, so check it out here.

Shortly after the post went live I got an e-mail from Bob that simply read:

“Hi Tim

Please give me your address and I will send you a check before the end of the month. I apologize.”

That really cheered me up. Not because of the money, but because it led me to think I hadn’t misjudged Bob as badly as I thought I had and that maybe a lot more was going on in his life that I wasn’t privy to.

I responded with this e-mail:

“Thanks a lot for responding, I greatly appreciate it.

It was never about the money Bob, I do this because I  love helping people and as I said in the post, I really like you and enjoyed talking with you.

It was just the crushing sense of frustration I felt on Saturday.

If you want to pay me, do so, but don’t feel obliged and don’t add to your woes to do so. The address is below and I don’t mind which option you take.

I genuinely hope you get things sorted and I apologize for using the rip off headline it was maybe a tad over the top.

And do the bloody values work I sent you man, it’s important shit, trust me!”

As I said I felt a lot better knowing he was ok and that he was big enough not to just bury his head in the sand and ignore everything.

I was also glad to know he wasn’t an assclown as I’d suggested he might be.

But things got even better when he e-mailed me back to say this:

“Hi Tim

I thought that I should give you an explanation as to why I didn’t call—-This is not an excuse. I was wrong and I fully admit that. Last week I kicked my own ass all the way through the week and I actually got down on myself on friday afternoon.

I couldn’t believe how productive I was. I was blessed to set 15 appointments and I set 3 major appointments. I Just got really down and didn’t want to talk to anyone.I think I was down because I wondered what my life would look like if I had been doing this for the pas 10 years.

I know it’s going to be a struggle to keep my foot on the gas, but i will do it. You are a good person and I appreciate your help and I will send a check for the full amount. Thank you”

One of the takeaways I offered from the last post was that you can never be sure what’s going on inside somebody’s head.

I certainly wasn’t sure what was going through Bobs mind prior to him e-mailing me, but I do now and it makes sense.

I wanted to tell you how this all worked out and when I asked Bob if I could publish his e-mail he graciously agreed.

So maybe I wasn’t ripped off. Maybe I was a tad quick to get frustrated. Maybe it’s just one of those things we can learn from and move on.

And if Bob is reading this I’d say this:

“Shift your focus from looking back and what could have been different, to looking forward and what an awesome future you can build if you keep the momentum going”

A month or so ago he I was contacted by one of my readers (let’s call him Bob for  the purposes of this post) and asked if I could help him with his issue of chronic procrastination.

I’ve had quite  lot of experience in helping people who procrastinate and it’s work that can under the right circumstances be highly enjoyable and challenging, so we set up a time to do a consult call shortly after.

To cut a long story short, not only did I like Bob, but I felt relatively confident that I could help him even though his issues reached back over two decades.

I say relatively confident because no coach can ever be truly sure they can help a client, there are just way too many intangibles, but I had a good feeling about this one.

At the end of the conversation the talk turned to payment and as he’d already made me fully aware he had a huge amount of debt accrued because of his procrastination issues, I was half suspecting some form of pro bono or sliding scale request.

If asked I always refuse to offer reduced fees for coaching because I’m already way less expensive than the vast majority of coaches with my level of experience.

That’s not to say I never offer reduced coaching because I do on occasions, but it has to be because I want to and not because I feel like I’m backed into a corner and feel emotionally obliged to.

Bob didn’t want a reduced fee, but he did want time to pay and that’s something I’m usually cool with and have done many times in the past.

So I offered to kick things off and do the first session and see where we were after that. He agreed and I sent him my intake forms and he responded with the following e-mail:

“All finished Tim. I look forward to speaking to you on friday at 3.

PS. I won’t let you down financially”

The first session went really well and I was getting an even stronger sense that I could help him get up and running.

I never even mentioned the money because of some things that came up in the call that I’d rather not mention here, although in retrospect that was probably a mistake.

My second session almost always involves core values work and this was going to be at the crux of what I wanted to do with Bob to help him move forward.

I send two sample lists to clients along with and instruction sheet. One is a list of core values and the other a list of anti-values and I stress that the sheets only contain samples and are by no means exhaustive.

I got my first inkling that something wasn’t quite right when I got his response:

“Hi Tim

Here’s my list of values and anti values

Bravery                     Greed
Commitment             Injustice
Freedom                    Laziness
Growth                      Procrastination
Leadership                Arrogance
Persistence                Cynicism
Self control               Dishonesty
Justice                       Worry

I Hope your having a great week”

The reason I was suspicious is that every single value and anti-value was on the sample sheet I had sent him.

Seeing as the sheets only contain about 25 of each of the core and anti values and there are potentially hundreds, it was either a massive coincidence, or he’d not read the instructions.

We were supposed to be talking at 3.00pm on the Friday afternoon, but I was running a tad late. So I phoned Bob and left a voice-mail asking if he could make it 4.00pm, but if not that was fine and I’d be ready to go at 3.00pm. I then followed that up with an e-mail.

This was the response I got:

“I just got your e mail as I was writing you an e mail—I have a major service call to do today at 3 pm and I’m not sure how long I will be at the account. Is it at all possible to have our phone conference tomorrow—saturday. Let me know what works for you.”

I was a bit pissed because this was less than 2 hours before we were due to start, but as I’d had a Saturday client ask to rearrange a couple of days previously it worked out quite well.

I’ve never heard from him since.

I got prepped up and called his cell as agreed on Saturday morning, but it rang a few times and I then got voice mail, so I left a message asking him to call me.

I also sent him an e-mail, but had no response to either, and I sat their like a muppet for 45 minutes or so.

I even followed up a few days later and sent him a free copy of Aligning With Your Core Values, explaining that I’d planned to get into values with him and maybe he could do them himself.

No thanks, no response.

But here’s the thing, I’ve no way of knowing what happened. Bob could be dead for all I know, or he may just be an assclown happy to rip somebody off.

Or there may be some reason in between? I really don’t know.

So what’s the takeaway from this post you may be wondering?

To get any takeaway I have to presume Bob isn’t dead or so incapacitated that he couldn’t and still can’t get to a phone or use e-mail.

So Bob if you’re reading this and you are dead, I’m sorry bud and you have my deepest condolences.

1. Gut Instincts Can Be Wrong

I’m a massive believer in gut instincts and there is a wealth of emerging scientific data that is starting to uncover how and why they work.

Until Bob, I had never worked with a ‘problem’ client where I didn’t have a gut instinct that I foolishly overruled. I had no sense there were going to be issues with Bob.

I won’t stop listening to my gut, and maybe I was sent the message but never actually heard it, but I may be a tad more cautious with similar clients.

2. Values Are Crucial To Happiness

I’m not sure if you noticed Bobs values list, but amongst them were ‘Commitment’, ‘Growth’, ‘Persistence’ and ‘Justice’. And on his anti-values list he had ‘Dishonesty’ ‘Injustice’ and ‘Greed’

Do his actions line up with those values?

Of course not, and breaching a lot of his own values is a short-cut to misery and frustration.

Not only that, but his actions are helping to cement his procrastination issues, because chronic procrastinators are almost always out of alignment with their own values.

3. Cynicism Is A Choice

I’m determined not to let this change much about what I do. I have had clients rip me off in the past and I’m guessing I will again in the future.

However, that figure is probably less than 1 in 100 and that isn’t enough to make me cynical or change the way I operate.

There will always be people who will want to exploit you in some way, shape or form, but they are the minority.

Don’t let the minority make you look poorly on the majority.

4. You Can Never Be Sure What’s Going On Inside Somebody’s Head

I sometimes forget this bit. I’m pretty good at judging people and reading verbal and non-verbal cues to understand where they’re at.

But in this case I was hopelessly wrong. So maybe it has served as a reminder not to take what I do for granted.

I’ve had this post written for a week or so and I have been back on forth about whether I should post it.

I decided to, because I think there is some useful lessons to be learned.

But I’m more interested to know what would you have done differently, if anything, and what you’d have learned if something similar had happened to you?

Update: I just had an e-mail from Bob apologizing and asking of he could send me a check. That took a lot of balls and he has shot back up in my estimation. Still no idea what the issue was, but I’m glad he’s not dead!

This week one of the greatest Linebackers to ever play the game of (American) football, Junior Seau, took his own life at the age of just 43.

It was shocking news to anybody that follows the game made worse by the fact that most people had no idea there was a problem in the first place.

There have been deaths of other players in recent years that were of no surprise, but Seau didn’t fit into the ‘problem child’ category that most of the others did.

I was reading about the sad news on the St Louis Rams message board when a another Rams fan who happens to be a firefighter posted that he was sick of selfish people who use suicide as the easy way out.

I truly get where this guy is coming from, especially when he expanded that he’s often the first person on the scene of a self-inflicted death, and thus he sees the shocking effect it can have on loved ones.

A trauma magnified when the deceased has committed the act in front of family members.

It’s impossible for me to imagine the anguish that witnessing somebody close to you take their own life could trigger, but that doesn’t effect what I’m about to say.

Committing suicide is never an act of selfishness any more than dying from cancer is (and please excuse my facetious headline, of course anybody suffering deserves our sympathy).

It’s the last resort of somebody who has lost all hope.

Mental illness presents in many different ways, just like normal illnesses.

And that’s because it is a normal illness and we must recognize it as such.

Unfortunately, it’s an illness that’s incredibly difficult for somebody not suffering from to empathize with, because it’s so intangible.

Cancer is not the same as a stroke, and a stroke is not the same as influenza, and influenza is not the same as coronary heart disease.

But all can, and do, cause loss of life each year, as do thousands of other diseases.

The difference is, people with a definable physical illness are usually given sympathy, whereas people with mental illness are often not afforded that luxury.

Because ya know, they should just pull themselves together, right?

If only it were that simple.

For some people who are heavily predisposed to mental illness it would actually be easier to recover from certain types of cancer than get over their depression, and it can haunt them for years, even decades.

It’s easy to think that suicide (or even self-harm to a lesser extent) is an act of selfishness because as the firefighter quite rightly said;

“The victim finds peace just as his or her family are  about to go through hell”

That’s true and it’s incredibly sad and distressing, but it doesn’t alter what I’m saying.

Often the victim thinks they are helping their family. That they are such a burden to them and the human race in general, that everybody will be better off with their passing.

And they think that because they’re ill and not thinking logically.

Trying to understand their behavior using logic and rationale is akin to going out to buy a new pair of blue pants wearing a yellow sun visor.

You cannot see blue, because no matter how hard you try everything appears yellow.

Fortunately, I’m not prone to depression, but I have been prone to terrible bouts of anxiety in my life which is why I’m a Life Coach.

And I say have been, well the truth is I still can be from time to time if things go badly. I have been like that since early childhood, it’s largely speaking, genetic.

We all have our crosses to bear, but just because some aren’t visible or don’t make much sense to us, doesn’t make them any less worthy of compassion.

My hunch is fifty years from now we’ll be shocked at how Society (on the whole) viewed people with mental health problems.

Or would it be more pertinent to say that’s my hope?

And I didn’t forget to post a photo, I just didn’t think a cartoon was very fitting.

This is a somewhat unusual guest post for me, but I am almost evangelical about life long learning and its benefits, so I was more than happy to run it.

If you’re not growing, your shrinking and it’s never been easier to acquire knowledge, if you know where and how to look.

Before I hand you over to Chuck though I just wanted to avert your gaze to my navigation bar.

Next to ‘Blog’ you will see a ‘Free Stuff’ tab where you can now download almost all my ebooks (7 actually) free of charge.

If you haven’t grabbed them already please do so and if you can refer any people to them who you think would benefit I’d be as happy as a clam who’s just won the happy clam of the year award.

Incidentally, the winner of this years competition was Larry the Clam, what’s the odds of that eh?

School Yourself: How Google’s Tool Set Can Add Value To Your Work

If you In order to add value and thrive in today’s fast-paced world, you need to be a life-long learner. Not a student in the traditional sense, where you sit in a classroom and a teacher instructs you, but a student of whatever you need to know in the moment to keep you moving in your next project.

As the rate of change in business continues to increase, the kind of knowledge we need to keep up with it is increasingly ad hoc in nature.

You may not know what new initiative your boss is going to assign to you next month. But when he does, you need to have a strategy for locating the knowledge you need.

In other words, if you want to thrive in these crazy, uncertain times, you need to become a relentless explorer. As Austin Kleon declares in his excellent book, Steal Like an Artist (al)

“You have to be curious about the world in which you live. Look things up. Chase down every reference. Go deeper than anybody else—that’s how you’ll get ahead. Google everything. I mean everything. Google your dreams, Google your problems. Don’t ask a question before you Google it. You’ll either find the answer or you’ll come up with a better question. Always be reading… Don’t worry about doing research. Just search.”

Kleon’s advice sounds almost too simple to be true. But it is. Google has evolved into what may be the ultimate tool set for locating ad hoc knowledge and resources. Consider for a moment what it makes possible today, and you’ll see what I mean:

Best overall search results

Since Google’s launch in 1998, it has invested a small fortune on R&D and manpower to improve the quality of its search results. It all started with a simple but profound idea:

The best websites will be those that others link to most frequently. Since then, its search algorithms have been tweaked and expanded numerous times, and incorporate a myriad of on the page and off the page factors into its “secret sauce” – all with the goal of delivering very high quality search results.

News on topics that matter to you:

From any Google news search results page, you can easily create Google Alerts  e-mails that tell you when the search engine discovers new content related to keywords and phrases in which you’re interested.

You can also use Google Reader, Google’s online RSS feed reader, to skim the latest posts from hundreds of blogs in topical areas you need to track.

Tims note: Although it’s not really news, I’d also like to throw Google Scholar into the mix.

I use this service regularly when I’m researching topics in-depth because it only brings back academic papers and journals and you don’t get all sorts of crap blog results from people that have no clue what they’re talking about, but sound like they do.

Human-enhanced search results

Google search results will become even more targeted as more people start to use Google+ and get in the habit of clicking on the +1 icon next to the names of websites and search results that they like.

Is already bringing a valuable a social component to Google searches, by highlighting the sites that other people in your network like at the top of its search results.

In essence, this capability enables the search engine giant to tap the collective intelligence of the people you follow online.

Find the best subject matter experts – fast

If you search within Google+, it lists the leading experts for the topic you’ve searched for near the top of the page. This is a great way to build relationships with the people who have the knowledge you need.

Online meeting and collaboration tools

Once you have identified the best subject matter experts, you can conduct online meetings with up to 10 of them in Google+ Hangouts.

I haven’t used this feature of Google+ yet, but my college-age daughter uses it on a regular basis to chat with her friends at other schools. She says it’s much more reliable than Skype.

 Visualizing your ideas

A picture is worth far more than a thousand words today. With nearly everyone drowning in information and at the same time trying to solve more complex challenges, it makes sense to sketch, diagram or draw our ideas. I

f we can create crude prototypes or models of our ideas, the people whom we’re trying to influence can more easily understand them. Google’s SketchUp 3D modeling tool helps to make this possible. It enables users to create complex 3D drawings with a fairly low learning curve.

In conclusion, as Austin Kleon reminds us, we need to be constantly learning – through our own online explorations and by sharing and learning from the ideas of others. Google’s powerful tool set is a great place to cultivate your commitment to life-long learning.

Chuck Frey is the author of Up Your Impact: 52 Innovative Strategies to Add Value to Your Work  which will be published on May 1, 2012. Chuck is the publisher of Innovation Tools, The Mind Mapping Software Blog and several books, and is a recognized expert on the topics of innovation, creativity, brainstorming and visual thinking.

I think everybody knows about GMail, Google Docs etc, and I considered Google Trends/Labs, but do you have any hidden Google gems or learning sources you can share with us?

The title of this post is a tad misleading because I’m not sure it’s possibly to eradicate procrastination from your life completely without the use of a time machine.

The reality is we all procrastinate from time to time it’s just how we’re wired up.

On the other hand, whereas you procrastinating on emptying the dishwasher may be a tad irritating to your partner, procrastinating on writing a sales proposal or important report may be the difference between having a job and not.

Similarly, not going to the doctors when you find a lump that shouldn’t be there can have much more serious consequences.

I’ve heard numerous incredibly sad stories of people whose procrastination in such circumstances cost them the ultimate price, their life.

If you were ever to do out for a meal with me you’d probably want to punch me when it came to choosing what to order. I am notoriously poor at making my mind up in such situations and will always order last and often under duress from my wife.

However, I seldom procrastinate when it comes to my business (in fact the opposite can be true and I’m sometimes be a bit too spontaneous), and if I find anything medically wrong with me I’m sat outside the doctors office waiting for the doors to open the following day.

You would think that most people would have a greater tendency to procrastinate on trivial unimportant things and get on with the important stuff in their life, because…er….it’s more important, but it doesn’t work like that.

I would guess that at least half of the clients I work with have moderate to severe procrastination issues and chronic procrastination is a major and often debilitating issue for millions of people.

It’s also an issue that people who don’t procrastinate fail to understand and have little sympathy with.

Advice like ‘make a to-do list starting with the biggest and most important item at the top’, ‘download an app’, or read ‘David Allen’s – Getting Things Done’ (al) is usually well meant, but seldom of much value to professional procrastinators.

And the reason it’s largely useless is because it’s not a lack of knowledge per se that causes people to procrastinate.

They often know what to do, they’re just not doing it.

So today I am going to give you what I think are the three best steps to allow you to build momentum which in turn will crush procrastination.

1. Focus On Your Core Values

I know I’m almost evangelical about this, but that’s because it’s so frickin’ important.

In fact, I don’t think  there is any one thing more important in the entire self development industry even though so many people still don’t get that.

Let’s suppose you have a number one value of ‘Family’ and as per the earlier example you find an unusual lump.

The best thing you can do at that point is to focus on that value and the fact that you want to spend as many years as possible in good health with your family.

That’s way more likely to create action than dwelling on your anti-values (things you don’t want) and fretting that you may have to go through painful treatment.

In a business setting ‘Integrity’ or ‘Leadership’ may be crucially important to you. So ask yourself when you’re putting off something important if you feel you are operating within your own value frame work.

Note: If you don’t know accurately what your core values are, then you’re in a bit of a hole with the first step.

Amazingly enough though I wrote just the book to help you ;-)

2. Label It

One of the approaches therapists have taken with people who suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in recent years is to ask the patient to label their behavior.

By that I mean, rather than saying, “I need to wash my hand 12 times because of the risk of spreading disease” they are instructed to say, “I need to wash my hands 12 times because I have OCD”

That one change alone can create a huge shift in some people because they alter their relationship with their condition.

Therefore, when you are procrastinating, tell yourself you’re procrastinating!

Most people will tell themselves they will feel more like doing whatever task it is the following day, week, month.

They won’t!

This is a very common cognitive bias. By and large as Human Beings we’re horrible at understanding how we’ll feel about doing something in the future.

Drop the “I’ll feel more like it tomorrow” mantra and adopt the “I’m procrastinating on this issue because I don’t want to do it” mantra.

The latter is way more likely to get you to act because you have removed your “get out of jail free” card of fooling yourself.

3. Anchor It

An anchor if you don’t already know, is a conditioned response. Think of Pavlov’s dog salivating at the ringing of the bell even when Pavlov had removed the meat and you get the idea.

There is an expression in neuroscience that says “Neurons that fire together, wire together”

Effectively that means if you do two things together enough times or with enough intensity, just doing one of this things will automatically trigger the other.

You have dozens of anchors that have occurred naturally through your life.

Maybe a specific song evokes certain emotions each time you hear it because of either a really pleasant or really traumatic event that was happening to you at the time you first heard it.

Or maybe you feel ill at the mere smell of a certain type of alcoholic drink because you once got really hammered on it.

My wife is always up on weekdays before me and she immediately puts the coffee.

The smell of the coffee when I first notice it is now and anchor for me to get my arse out of bed and do some work!

Using this information we can create anchors to use at will. I’m not going to explain that today because you can check out this post if you want to know how.

Wouldn’t it be cool to have an anchor for motivation though, so that when you are being tempted by the procrastination demon you can fire your motivation anchor?

Well you can, so go and learn how and use it.

Free Ebooks On Stress, Anxiety And General Self Development

Just in case you weren’t aware I’m now giving away my combo pack of ebooks that until last week was retailing for $19.99.

If you want them, just click here and use coupon code ‘free’ at check out.

Before I get to today’s excellent guest post from Brad Jorgensen, I just wanted to give you the  heads up in case you missed my last post.

I am now giving my combo selection of 3 books that normally retail at $19.99 for free.

If you want to grab your freebies, check out this page and use coupon code ‘free’ at checkout.

Jumping to New Conclusions

I once heard the idea that while in a high place, the sensation of vertigo some of us experience isn’t caused by a fear of heights.

Instead, the theory suggested, it’s caused by a tug-of-war between the part of your brain that wants to know what it feels like to jump and the part of your brain that doesn’t want to know what it feels like to land.

I’m not suggesting jumping off of a building.  But there are many situations where we have the chance to try something new and part of us says “go for it” while another part of us wants to play it safe.

Playing Safe Often Doesn’t Serve Us

And far too often, we err on the side of caution when we have far more to gain by taking that leap into the unknown.

I learned this lesson, believe it or not, from Hare Krishnas.

My earliest Hare Krishna encounter came when I was a young child.  My mother’s step father’s son was a Hare Krishna, and for some reason, one day my family decided to visit his home and drag me along.

I remember him opening the door, at which point my senses were assaulted by the sickly sweet smell of burning incense.  As I peered up through the smoky haze, I saw a strange man staring down at me with a shaved head and some sort of bed sheet for clothing.

I remember standing there, clutching my mother’s hand and thinking to myself, “Please don’t invite us inside…please don’t invite us inside…please don’t invite us inside…”

They chatted for a couple minutes in the doorway and then, much to my relief, we left.

Years later, as I was walking across my university campus, someone called to me and said, “Excuse me, sir.  Can I talk to you for a moment?”  It was a Hare Krishna.

I flashed back to that childhood memory.  My instinct was to avoid eye contact, pretend I didn’t hear him, and keep walking.  But this wasn’t some menacing figure staring down at me through a cloud of smoke.

This was just a random guy, probably about the same age as me, trying to start a conversation.  I decided it couldn’t hurt to talk to him.

As we chatted, I found that this Hare Krishna actually seemed to be pretty cool and laid back.

Not laid back in the brainwashed zombie cult member sense; he just seemed like a normal 20-something who happened to look a bit different from what I was used to.

At one point, he asked me what I knew about Hare Krishnas.

I thought back to one of my favorite computer game series growing up, Leisure Suit Larry, which was a sort of modern-day adventure game with a lot of twisted humor and social commentary.

One of the more challenging puzzles involved finding a way to get through an airport entrance without being assaulted by the Hare Krishnas waiting outside.  This was a rather blatant attempt to poke fun at the fact that Hare Krishnas were infamous for proselytizing in airports at that time.

I decided to keep that image to myself and simply responded that I didn’t know much about them.

“Well, how would you like to experience us first hand and come visit our ashram?” he asked.  (Ashram is a Hindi/Sanskrit word for what is essentially a place for communal religious activities.)

I remembered the stories of bizarre cults that had gotten so much media attention over the years.

I thought about Jim Jones and how he coerced the people of “Jonestown” into drinking poisoned Kool-Aid in order to escape the clutches of capitalism.

I pictured the Heaven’s Gate tragedy where the deceased members were found carrying the exact fare they’d need to board an alleged spaceship following an approaching comet.

Then I reminded myself that I was studying cultural anthropology, a field whose practitioners pride themselves in being open-minded towards other cultures.

Broadening My Horizons

It was time to move beyond the theory of lectures and term papers and try some real-world experience.  I decided to treat this opportunity as a cultural study, and I accepted the Hare Krishna’s invitation.

That weekend, he and another Hare Krishna drove up to my campus and picked me up along with a few other students who had agreed to join us.

We arrived in a residential area that evening and parked in front of what looked like a regular house.  I learned that although some people visited the ashram, others actually lived there.

We got to know some of the members, all of whom seemed like pretty normal people, and soon after that it was time for bed.

Our wake-up call was at 4 o’clock the next morning.

After we had a chance to get our bearings, we were led into a common area where we were handed some beaded bracelets.  They instructed us to hold a bead gently between our thumb and forefinger and then chant to ourselves the mantra;

“Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare/Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.”

After this we would shift to the next bead and repeat.

This went on for about an hour and when it was over, I felt surprisingly refreshed.  I had just had my first experience with meditation.

Next, one of the members gave an inspiring talk.  I don’t recall exactly what he said but I remember it was more of a motivational speech than some preachy religious sermon.

Once the talk was over, it was time to eat.  Since the ashram was a communal environment, everyone, including me and the other guests, was invited to help cook and serve and clean.

They Didn’t Serve Kool-Aid

I don’t know if it was the brainwashing kicking in or what, but that had to be the best vegetarian meal I’ve ever tasted.  I fought the temptation to wolf it all down and savored each bite.  Once our plates were cleared, we cleaned up and ventured outside.

We walked over to a public square where we began singing, dancing, and playing instruments.

Normally, in this sort of situation, I would have felt extremely self-conscious, but somehow the collective energy made it liberating.  In fact, some of the people in the area were so intrigued that they decided to join us in the celebration.

The fun couldn’t last forever, though, and eventually it was time for us to go home.  They drove us back to campus and we said our goodbyes.  Although we had made tentative plans to meet again, it never happened.  I never saw them again.

What did happen, however, was that my perception of Hare Krishnas had changed for the better.

Although this is a story about Hare Krishnas, it’s really a story about choices.

At various points in our lives, we’ll be given the opportunity to try something that’s foreign to us.  It might make us uncomfortable.  It might be a little scary.  And we’ll have to choose whether it’s worth it to accept the risk and try it anyway.

I’m not completely naive.  I realize that spending one day in the company of Hare Krishnas isn’t enough for me to really know what they’re about.

But neither is a 2-minute childhood encounter in someone’s doorway or a silly video game or the media coverage of some unrelated, small-town cult.

I also know that visiting the home of a stranger after a brief conversation might not have worked out so well.

What if they really were waiting for me with a fresh bowl of Kool-Aid?  What if they weren’t Hare Krishnas at all and this was just some hoax meant to lure unsuspecting anthropology students into their lair?

There’s Always Reasons To Say No

But at what point do we stop avoiding the uncertain because of what ifs?

What if we travel somewhere and wind up getting mugged?  What if we ask that cute girl/guy out and get rejected?  What if we try that new restaurant and get indigestion?

It’s very easy to avoid doing things that take us out of our comfort zone.  I’ve chosen the “safe” route numerous times, and that’s despite the fact that I write a blog promoting the idea of trying new things.

But I also know how rewarding it can be when you allow yourself to push past your reservations and take a chance.

You could wind up making a new friend, discovering a new place you enjoy, or creating a new memory you can tell stories about years later.

The next time you have the chance to try something new, before you reject it, ask yourself one question: “What do I have to lose?”  You may discover that the more compelled you are to say “no,” the more you have to gain by saying “yes.”

Do you recall a time where you avoided trying something new just because it was easier than saying yes? 

What was the risk? 

What might you have gained had you taken the chance?

Brad Jorgensen is a freelance copywriter who uses his blog and his business to help people embrace the philosophy that trying new things is a critical part of a fulfilling personal and professional life.

I have never understood the human disposition to admire people who stay true to their beliefs even in the face of overwhelming contrary evidence.

This was never more aptly demonstrated to me than when John Kerry confessed in his run for the White House against George W Bush, that he’d changed his stance over Iraq.

Kerry admitted he had been made aware of new information and as such had changed his opinion accordingly.

You’d think that would garner respect, for having the balls to admit in public he made a poor decision in the first place.

It takes higher cognitive reasoning to do such a thing because the older more powerful parts of your brain (evolutionary speaking) hate to be wrong.

It kicks into effect a whole host of cognitive biases designed to get you to ignore pertinent information that can create cognitive dissonance.

Of course Bush’s supporters merely lambasted Kerry as a flip-flopper and somebody who couldn’t make his mind up and therefore wasn’t statesmanlike and therefore, fit for the Presidency.

Much better to have a President who stuck to his guns and was prepared to invade sovereign countries based on little or no evidence because he and his advisers had already drawn their conclusions.

As you can imagine that long preamble was a set up that allows me to change my mind in public….again.

I have flip-flopped backwards and forwards about what to do with all the ebooks I have written and currently they sit in my store where you can buy them should you so wish.

I have had periods where I have offered them for free, but decided a year or so ago that I should charge for them or risk devaluing the content.

Well screw that, it was a poor decision on my part and who cares if some people judge value based upon price?

Let’s Make My Books Free Again

When I launched my latest book Don’t Hesitate – Meditate (An introduction to meditation for beginners and skeptics) it was a real buzz to see so many hundreds of people download either the audio or ebook version.

Would so many have bought it if I’d have charged?

Of course not, it wouldn’t have even been close and that’s the reason I’m reverting back to giving most of my books away for free again because I want to get the message out.

Aligning With Your Core Values sells well and that’s easily the best and most valuable book I’ve written solo and that will stay as it is.

How To Be Rich and Happy sells steadily too and as all proceeds go to producing more books for good causes, that will stay as it is.

‘How To Set Goals That Work’, my in-depth look on goal setting, and my ’50 Greatest Motivational Quotes of All Time’ will remain exclusive to my newsletter readers.

Strictly speaking they won’t be free as you’ll need to give me your e-mail address to get them, but you can then unsubscribe if you so wish so they’re about as close to free as you can get.

However, ‘Don’t Ask Stupid Questions’, ‘Don’t Panic’ and ‘16 Ways To De-Stress Your Life’ will join ‘What The Hell Is Life Coaching’ as free downloads from now on.

Until I get the page set up properly you can grab them by clicking on which book you would like and entering coupon code: free

Ejunkie only allow me to have 100 free downloads per day so if it refuses you the books, it just means I’ve gone over the limit, so merely try again the following day.

As I say, eventually I’ll have the page set up so anybody can download straight from the book title, but until then, download until your hearts content and I’d love it if you could share the link or post to social media and help me spread the message.

IMPORTANT: If you only want two of the three books either do the process twice using the code each time, or just download the combo pack and delete those that you won’t read. Otherwise the system will only recognize the first coupon code and try to bill you for the other book.