A Life of Science and Craft

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 23 May 2023 21:18:00 +0000

Mostly on Instagram these days: find me there. Instagram Profile

WIP Wednesday - February edition

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 17:31:00 +0000

Well, since the last time I did this I made just a little progress...although I haven't been entirely strict with the 2 to 1 rule. Two things did come off the list, (the sister yarn, and the chase the chill) as well as this little guy who was never on it, and two more jumped on, so technically that's a net decrease.

On the needles
(in order of cast on age, with approximate completion status, and links to the pattern I'm using, changes in bold)

Finished chasing the chill - still need buttons

Sock yarn blankie (10%)
Dancing socks (75%)
Fern garden scarf (40%)
Hubby's annual sweater for 2010 (75%)
Diamond socks (60%)
Slump socks (60%)
Broken pumpkin socks (75%)
Interstices (55%)
Exploration Station (99.99999% - seriously I just need to weave in the ends and fix a hole!)
Pinnate (20%)
Welcome back (80%)
Yummy Cowl (50%)
Rivercat socks (70%)
Prolly Folly (40% - what I named this says it all, I knew it was destined for abandonment)
Building Blocks (40% - took it out to frog and now I like it)
Pay it forward mittens (75%)
Peace 2016 (20%)
Ingwer (10% - for the ESK yarnathon Q1 knit a long)
Snowmelt MKAL (20% - I blame my family for this)

On the wheel

The sister yarn

Trying for three - my first attempt at 3-ply, one bobbin full, second halfway there

On the loom

Clasped weave ~~scarf~~ fabric current length 27 inches.

On the hooks

On the machine

Jelly roll race - awaiting sandwiching
B's baby quilt - yea he's 6.5 - wanna make something of it!
Self designed overly ambitious quilt
Scrap shirt quilt

Introducing my other obsession...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 02 Feb 2017 17:11:00 +0000

Stationary!
I've always loved pens and paper, ever since I was a little girl. In the last couple of years, I've re-entered the world of fine stationary and planners, and fountain pens, and it's become a little bit of a hobby around here. I have a small number of "entry level" affordable fountain pens. There are many many bloggers out there that make a living (or at least a little income) by reviewing pens, so while I may share some thoughts here, I'm only going to write about interesting/unique/not common purchases. This is one of those:

This was a random impulse purchase for myself on Zulily while I was Christmas shopping. It is not really a "brand name" fountain pen, but rather, I think, a generic fountain pen branded by a designer. Like when you buy sunglasses from Coach and really they are made in the same place as the ones you can buy from Ralph Lauren. The designers may design the aesthetic of them, but really not the functionality or quality. In this case I was sucked in on the pretty factor, and the price was cheap, and I had already made a purchase that day, so I had free shipping....

The brand/designer is Ines de la Fressange and my googling found little about her or these pens. She's french, mostly known for clothes. She's doing a collaboration with Uniqlo. There's a website to buy clothes, but I couldn't find the pens there, although they are available on Amazon (FYI as of today the prices is more than 4 times what I paid). This is the "Turquoise Balcony Fountain Pen". Not a very original name, but it does describe the pen.

It's a metal body and takes international cartridges. As far as I know, it has no converter. It came with one cartridge in black, which I ignored and put in a Pelikan Pink short cartridge to start. I gave it a "little" squeeze to get it going as you can see from the blot on the test page of my notebook.

The body is tapered and comfortable for my small hands un-posted. If you are a poster, which I tend to be, this is a nightmare. That pretty swoopy cap is heavy and falls off. I actually had an incident where it flew off and landed in my tea. So I would definitely avoid posting if you don't want accidental projectiles during your writing sessions.

So, what do I think? Is it a fine writing experience? So far, not really. As a fountain pen, it doesn't make my heart sing. Although to be fair, I felt this way about the Kaweco Sport at first too, but now I love it, we just needed to get to know one another, so I haven't discounted it entirely.. My Pilot Prera on the other hand, was definitely a "fountain pens really are better" moment right out of the box. (also it has this completely useless tiny clip)

* it was bad pictures or no pictures, so in the interest of actually getting a blog post up I chose the former.

Yarnathon plotting....

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 10 Jan 2017 02:54:00 +0000

16 badges and 140 points earned in last year's yarnathon booster club at eat.sleep.knit. Enough to get bronze, but not quite enough to get gold. This year the system is a little different, but I'm aiming for the middle of the rainbow, some lemon-lime goodness! Some are lifetime achievements so I'm already 35% to cherry. If you don't know about the yarnathon check out the details here. Be warned, it might make your stash grow. This, I know is in direct opposition to my goals for 2017, but I'm going to be careful how I select projects, and yarn. I think I'll mostly be participating in KALs and badges for the first 6 months at least.

WIP Wednesday - Coming clean in the new year

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 04 Jan 2017 15:00:00 +0000

Is WIP Wednesday still a thing? I'm going with yes.

Spoiler alert: I have too many. Way too many. Thus I'm giving myself a challenge: I've decided for the next 6 months I have to finish or frog two knitting projects before I can start a new one. It's a two for one. We are also applying this principle to our house clutter, 1 in 2 out. For instance, I got some awesome slippers for Christmas and that meant two very ratty pairs went into the trash bin. Quality over quantity, less is more, blah blah blah.

Back to the crafts. Here is the embarrassingly complete list:

On the needles
(in order of cast on age, with approximate completion status, and links to the pattern I'm using)

Sock yarn blankie (10%)
Dancing socks (75%)
Fern garden scarf (40%)
Hubby's annual sweater for 2010 (75%)
Diamond socks (60%)
Chasing the Chill (85%)
Slump socks (60%)
Broken pumpkin socks (75%)
Interstices (55%)
Exploration Station (99.99999% - seriously I just need to weave in the ends and fix a hole!)
Pinnate (20%)
Welcome back (80%)
Yummy Cowl (50%)
Rivercat socks (70%)
Prolly Folly (40% - what I named this says it all I knew it was destined for abandonment)
Building Blocks (40% - destined for the frogging)
Pay it forward mittens (55%)
Peace 2016 (20%)

And for full disclosure there are 11 projects on my ravelry page marked as "hibernating", meaning I haven't frogged them, but I'm also not entirely sure where they are located in my home. Maybe the endless decluttering will help with that.

On the wheel

Sister yarn - two bobbins resting to be plied
Trying for three - my first attempt at 3-ply

On the loom

Clasped weave ~~scarf~~ fabric current length 21 inches.

On the hooks

On the machine

Jelly roll race - awaiting sandwiching
B's baby quilt - yea he's 6.5 - wanna make something of it!
Self designed overly ambitious quilt
Scrap shirt quilt

Bring on the finishing 2017! Let's have this down to 10 UFOs by the end of the year!

The monster awakes!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 03 Jan 2017 02:37:00 +0000

Twas the night after Christmas, and we were all tired.

The kids were in bed and we thought Santa should be fired.

Amidst all the torn wrappings and strewn bits of tinsel

My sweet sister took out her fancy new drop spindle.

Teach me to spin, she said with a smile

The wheel was retrieved from where it had sat for awhile

The band was adjusted, we poured some more wine.

It turned out after a kick or two the wheel was just fine.

What is this fiber? I'm sure I don't know.

One bobbin full and another with just a little to go.

Finish it up sis, then I shall ply.

Ply away, ply away, on Lendrum, on wool, on alpaca, on silk, oh merino, and top, and roving, and tension, ply away, ply away all.

And ply on I did while she dug through the stash

this alpaca is next she said with a flutter of eyelash.

Alpaca it was! One bobbin full, she was addicted, and my heart was full.

Soon it was over and time for her to leave, but what to my wondering husband his eyes did deceive.

A spinning monster was awoken that cold winter's night.

4 ounces are spun and there's no end in sight!

* poetry is not my strong suit, so please be kind!

Knits as they are known: Shur'tugal socks

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 14 Dec 2016 17:00:00 +0000

Still cold enough for socks around here. So this week's edition of knits as they are known is also a pair of socks. According to my Ravelry notes, this took about a year to knit, and they just turned 4.

NOW


THEN

Pattern: Shur'tugal

by Alice Yu

This used to be a free pattern, but it's not anymore.

Yarn:

Socks that Rock Lightweight by Blue Moon Fiber Arts in color "Princess Plummy"

My Thoughts: According to my notes, I didn't Love the knitting process on these, although I do love the yarn. As far as sock yarns go, however, I find the finished produce to be a little thick. I actually can't tell too much difference between these and a pair I knit out of medium weight STR. The end result of that is that they don't always fit in most shoes, but they are very thick and comfy. THey really only fit in my Halflinger clogs (specifically these). As a result and they really become hanging around the house and weekend socks. Which is a good thing, because this particular pair has fallen victim to some unknown misfortune:


Sad sock hole.

That, however, is mostly OK. It speaks to the quality of the yarn and/or pattern. That hole has been there for *cough* several *cough* years, and at least half a dozen machine wash and dry cycles. It seems to just be the way it is. It doesn't grow, it doesn't get worse, and when they are worn it looks just normal:

Yes the hole is still there, just hidden during normal wear

I'm too lazy to darn it as I should.

Final assessment: socks that rock does indeed rock and live up to the hype, although it is a little thicker then one might want for socks in the South.

Knits as they are known : Pillar Socks

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 21:13:00 +0000

The other day, it got cold and I had to wear socks. Yes, where I live it is possible to avoid wearing socks until December. Yes, I still knit wool socks. It's a contradiction, I know, but if I keep knitting, and keep living here, I could possibly knit enough socks so I never have to wear a store bought pair again.* It's a life goal. Aim high I say. Anyways, I digress. It was cold. I wore socks. Specifically, I wore the first pair of socks I ever knit in the round. More specifically, I wore a hand knit pair of socks that are more than a decade old. They still fit, they still bring me joy. I will not be Kondo-ing them away anytime soon.

It got me thinking about the destiny of all the things we knit. We knitters of the Internet love to knit things and love to show them off. We carefully pose a freshly knit and perfectly blocked FO to show it (and our skills) off to the world. Sometimes we tell a little story about why we knit it, what inspired us, the tribulations we went through while doing it, etc. We follow trends, and sometimes we all knit the same thing. Patterns come and go. More recent converts to the knitting world may not even know the February lady sweater craze of 2008, or the monkeys, oh the monkeys, and how can we ever forget the clapotis Seriously, 22000+ projects and I'm still not even sure how to say that word out loud.

Pretty knits are shown off, and pressed into to service by their new owners, and forgotten to time. When was the last time you saw a picture of handknit socks years after they came off the needles? Well today I remedy this. I'm going to try my best to start documenting, the full life of my knits. How do they wear? how do they work? how do they wash? Where they really worth what was put into them? It is these burning issues, understudied in the knittingverse, that I will attempt to address.

So in that spirit, here are the socks I wore today:

And here they are when I first knit them (and blogged them):

Pattern: Pillars by Lisa Stichweh
Yarn: Knitpicks Stroll Tonal, I think the color was called Sunflower.
Knit 2011/2012: I knit these mostly on airplanes. I don't remember finishing, but I do remember starting them on a trip to Seattle.

4 years of service and they have held up well. I was pleasantly surprised with the relatively in-expensive yarn in both the knitting and wearing process. They still fit, they are still soft and comfy, the go through the wash fairly regularly. I've been mostly good about keeping them out of the dryer, but I know they've been through at least a couple of times. There is always some fuzz on them, but it makes them all the more beautiful to me. Good pattern, great yarn, happy results.

*I might still buy happy socks, because they are pretty damn comfy. Comfy and cotton.

A FO Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 26 Nov 2016 02:15:00 +0000

Twas the day after Thanksgiving, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring....

Yeah, right. I have a three year old boy. Someone is always stirring in this house! Today it was a lot of Playmobil pirates, but I did manage to finish off two items and get them on the blocking board.

The first is the beautiful Silverwing Shawl by Baroque Purls.

Here is is straight off the needles, it's drying now, so it will get a proper debut sometime later.

I knit this because I needed a new project and we were flying to the beach the next day. The design is inspired by Amy van de Laar's hometown of Whakatane, New Zealand, and the pūkeko birds she sees there.That region of New Zealand was one of the places and things I was busy with in the long hiatus of the blog, so it struck me as appropriate.

I followed the pattern as written, except for the bind-off. It was coming out too tight, so I switched to a stretchy one. I loved everything about this knit, except the yarn. The Numma Numma Panna Sock was a sale purchase from Eat.Sleep.Knit earlier this year. It was to get me to another planet in this year's yarn-a-thon. The color is beautiful, but it didn't play well with my knitpicks ~~harmony~~ rainbow wooden needles - think squeaky yarn - ewww. An "emergency" trip to the yarn store in St. Petersburg was necessary to find some Chiaogoo's. Hubs was kind enough to indulge me. There may also have been some minor stash enhancement.

Making Space in the Ebb and Flow

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 22 Nov 2016 02:09:00 +0000

So, the blog was quiet for a while. Quite a while. Actually it was "private" for quite awhile, so effectively it didn't exist. That was a decision I made when life was getting fuzzy in the world of tenure. I got concerned that maybe the blog was an outlet for unhappiness, and that wasn't what I wanted to put out in the world. I set it to private and moved happily along. A few months ago, I was contacted by someone on Ravelry looking for my "patterns". I think of them more as recipes. It got me thinking about the good ol' blog. For a while think was all I did. Many things have changed in my life and I wasn't sure there was the space or need for this anymore: I still science (now with tenure). I still knit (not quite as much). I still have hobbies (some new ones to share).

I'm still a wife. I'm still a woman. Now I'm a mother too. I've changed. For the better. As it should be.

In the past few weeks a few things have made me think more seriously about rejoining the blog, and more broadly the community. n light of the recent election and the abundance of negativity in the world, we have shut off the news and turned down the Facebook. This left space. Space to think. Space to be. Space to re-engage. As part of this, I've rediscovered podcasts as a way to pass the time while I drive, and the universe seems to be leading me to a common theme: You get what you give and you are more than one thing.

So maybe there is space and need for this. Maybe I still have something to say. But something that spreads joy and not angst. Truth, but compassion. So for know that's where I am. In the space between the ebb and flow of life. We'll see where it takes us. I'll leave you with this quote heard via Elizabeth Gilbert's Magic Lessons Podcast episode 1. It inspired me today. Maybe it will inspire you, my imaginary blog reader as well.

“I think of my writing simply in terms of pleasure. It’s the most important thing in my life: making things. Much as I love my husband and children, I love them only because I am the person who makes things. I am who I am is the person who has the project of making a thing. And because that person does that all the time, that person is able to love all those other people.” - A.S. Byatt

Next time we'll talk about what's been going on in my knitting world, and maybe in my science world, and likely in my stationary world.

On being the broader impact

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 14:35:00 +0000

I'm writing a proposal.

This, is not actual news. It is part of everyday academic life. We chase money. I'm a bit ambivalent about the proposal writing thing. Some faculty members hate it; it's putting a price on science! Some faculty members love it; they are mostly the ones that are good at it. I'm in the middle, to me it's just a necessary step on the way to doing the fun stuff. Science costs money, therefore I must find money.

Proposal writing, in general, isn't really my point today. I want to talk about a specific, rather modern aspect of proposal writing. The "broader impacts". It's been talked about before by those more experienced than me (just search broader impacts there and you'll get an array of results). Today, I'm contemplating this exact issue. Whether we like or not, whether we agree with it or not, by definition every women in science is a broader impact. We can choose to include it explicitly in our proposals, or we can choose to ignore it. On my own I'd opt for the latter. Today, I'm not writing a proposal on my own. It's a collaborative project between 5 people. For tenured men and me. The lastest draft includes a little subsection entitled Underrepresented Groups. Not out of the normal in the context of BI in proposals. But there it was: "Dr. Rini is a female junior tenure track scientist."

In the end it is what it is, and there isn't anything drastic I can do to change it. In the grand scheme of proposal writing, we argue about the science, the objectives, the budgets. We never once talk about this particular sentence. But here is my feeling, as a women, as a scientist:

I hate being a broader impact. I'd like to have a broader impact. But, I don't want to be a broader impact.

Here we go again...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 01:37:00 +0000

It is the eve of a new semester. Overnight the 5 mile radius in which I live my life grows in population by about 25,000 people. Life goes from a peaceful calm to a vibrant buzz. There is more traffic, more people, more chaos, more responsibilities, more interruptions and, well, everything. Some good, some bad.

This is the 17th fall semester I have started. First as a student, then as a grad student, then a post-doc, then a professor. August, is my New Year's Eve. For me it marks the passage of time. Each and every August, I get the same mix of feelings. It's equal parts excitement and nervousness with a dash of nostalgia thrown in for good measure.

The new year always gives me pause, to reflect on the past and plan for the future. It's like a mini re-invention of myself. I get to decide what worked in the past and how to make it continue to work. More importantly, I get to decide what didn't work in the past, and how to make that better.

This year, I was lucky. I only spent three weeks of the summer on travel, compared to an average of 8. I didn't move. That's happened 10 of the last 16 summer's and it's one summer tradition I'm happy to leave behind! So, consequently, this summer was relatively productive - not as productive as I had wanted- but better than years past. I've started to find my groove and now that I have it, I don't want to loose it. So I've set myself a goal for this year - protect my time. So this is the year I learn to say no. This, I realize is one of the most important lessons/skills an assistant professor can learn/aquire. It's also one of the hardest to maintain. So, it's my mantra for the next nine months.

This is, of course, why I'm sitting in a hotel room, 4 hours from home, prepping to give a seminar in the morning. All of which was determined at 3 o'clock on Friday afternoon. Because there's some things you just can't say no to.

A year in review

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 14:33:00 +0000

Well, has it really been over a year since I published a post? Talk about the death of a blog, or as I like to think of it, the birth of a very busy and happy life. I'm not sure if I am going to keep up the blog or not. I'm just finished with a week of vacation, so I'm feeling relaxed, but it does take time to compose the posts and I just find that I want to spend my time differently. I'm also not reading blogs as often as I used to, so I'm less inspired to post then I have been.

Despite that, I've done about a million things worthy of posting. So here it is a year in review.

We bought a new (3rd) house - crazy I know, but this one is home - finally!

New house = lot's of crafts, many inspired by pinterest.

This stuff...

...became this lamp (we painted the table too, and the coasters are from here)

New house = lot's of weekends spent furniture shopping.

my favorite is this dining room set we put together from 3 different antique stores.

New house = my own sewing/craft room = a wintertime flurry of sewing bags and pouches (and pillows and curtains).

Tote bags - pattern made up based on the classic LLBean boat and tote.

Pillows for our couch.

I might have gone a little mad with the triangle pouches based on this tutorial.

I started (and completed) my 2nd full year at the new university.

2nd year of job = full teaching load, hosting a visiting scholar, serving on a search committee, becoming faculty adviser of a club sport, and just a general a flurry of activity. No pictures of this, but it was busy and fun, with a touch of stress sprinkling the whole thing.

I started running. I did the couch to 5k plan, which in my case took ~16 weeks and only got me to a very slow 2k. My goal is to run our University's Family Weekend 5k Fun Run at the end of September. It's been averaging 100 degrees here, so "training" is slow going.

I do like the nike+ thing on my ipod nano.

I knit a little bit here and there.

I bought a new camera, hence the ability to run around and take pictures this morning. So far I'm really happy with it.

I went to the Olympics. No, seriously, I was there to see preliminary rounds of beach volleyball, boxing, field hockey, basketball, indoor volleyball, and weighlifting, thanks to a very awesome best friend who scored tickets over a year ago. This was phenomenal and worthy of a whole post or more. Maybe once I sort through the 600+ pictures I took with the new camera that will happen.

The orbit at night

I'm taking a few more days of a staycation/writing retreat to counter the big burnout I was feeling before I left.

We start a new semester in two weeks. I'm thinking about putting in my tenure files at the end of this academic year, so it may be another year before I post again :)

An open letter to real estate agents

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 16 May 2011 05:10:00 +0000

Dear Real Estate Agents of the World,

I know that you have a tough job, sometimes clients are demanding, you work crazy hours and deal with all kinds of weird stuff. I know that you probably know more than many of the clients you work with and that most don't listen and that you may find that frustrating. So your MO may have slipped into something akin to bullying aloofness. But during "these tough times" we all have to adapt, and most clients don't find your I-know-better-than-you attitude all that appealing. I sure don't, so I have some advice that might make life a little bit better for everyone.

1) Get over yourselves. You were not the victims of the housing melt-down. Yes, you suffer with less commissions since less houses are sold. But, you were also complicit in creating the housing bubble, wether you knew it or not, you drove part of the frenzy that made people buy houses faster then they could learn how to spell escrow. So stop blaming the homeowners, who are after all the ones who pay you those commissions. They don't really want to hear it, they're actually pretty tired of hearing it. Generally the rules of the sandbox are that people are more willing to negotiate and listen to your advice if you didn't start off by throwing sand in their face to begin with. Take a step back and remember what it is you are trying to do, not what it means only to you.

2) Stop lying. I know. It's hard. You probably don't even know that you are doing it anymore because you've started to believe your own BS. But, if you don't have comparable to help decide on a price, just say so, don't pick random houses out of thin air and claim they are comparable. We're not that stupid, and if we are, we'll catch on when two months later you suddenly want to adjust the price by $20K. Just be honest from the start. It's less frustrating that way.

3) Shut up. I know. This one is hard too, you like to talk and so may clients don't want to listen to all the knowledge and experience you have. Yet somehow, you are going to share it anyways, you may feel the urge to continually remind clients that you know best, you have the experience. Suppress that urge. No one has experience in a market like this, there has never been a market like this. So just shut up, we know you don't know what you're doing and we're tired of listening to you say you do.

4) Listen. Again, not a skill you have necessarily honed over the years. But, here's a little hint. If someone is trying to sell a house, that means at one time they bought the exact same house. They are in effect the very same kind of people you want to market the house too. Trying to find out why they bought the house in the first place might give you some clues on what aspects of the house to market. If they say it's a quiet and safe neighborhood, then for crying out loud put that in the listing. Even if you think you know better, you might not, and the process would be a lot smoother if the clients felt that you were actually doing what they asked you to do to earn that 6% commission rather than just phoning it in.

5) Show a little compassion. Almost every seller is facing the same harsh, terrible reality that they are going to lose tons of money. Life-savings levels of money. Knowing that it's happening to everyone doesn't make it suck less. Maybe sitting at closings all the time where large checks are written has made you numb to numbers in the tens of thousands changing hands or vaporizing into thin air. Most people only write checks that big once or twice in their lives, so they aren't quite as numb to it as you might be. Try not to forget that you are delivering the kind of news that brings on anxiety attacks and soften the blow a little.

There you have it, 5 simple rules to a more pleasant client/realtor relationship. Let's face it, this process is going to suck, so the least you can do it try to make it suck less!

Sincerely,
A homeowner just trying to get by

Here we go again...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 12 May 2011 12:37:00 +0000

Remember this. Well I've finally worked up the courage to try again. A friend got sick recently, and it reminded me that I needed to get a checkup. I related my experience and she told me what a wonderful doctor she had, so easy to get an appointment with, really nice and respectful and what great care she was getting. Call him she said. You won't be disappointed.

So yesterday I called. Here's how it went.

Call #1: There is an automated system, you pick numbers to get you to the right person. When I get to who I think is the right person there is a voicemail box. I start to leave a message and the system hangs up on me.

Call #2: I call back and choose the option to "speak to a person". Someone answers, I tell her my plight and she transfers me to the same voicemail box that hung up on me 5 minutes before. Hang up again.

Call #3: I call press 4, press 1, I'm in and this time, it let me leave a message!

I sit in my office by my phone for an hour. During lunch I go for a walk. During the hours that the automated message say is lunch for the whole doctor's office. I miss the return call.

Call #4: repeat call #1

Call #5: repeat call #3

Wait, 30 more minutes and I have to go to a meeting that lasts the rest of the day.

Return to a voicemail that says: "I have tried to call you several times today to make a new patient appointment with no success, please call us back" -that is a direct quote, I have the google voice transcript to prove it.

GRRRRR. Here's what I think:
When I've had to leave as many messages as you have you don't get to express any type of annoyance.
When part of your job description is to answer the phone and you don't, you certainly do not get to imply any annoyance when I don't answer the phone. I don't get paid to do it. In fact during your working hours, I get paid to work, not hang around waiting for you to call me back.

Well, call #6 was placed to the voicemail box again this morning, I (possibly not so) politely asked if there was a specific time I could call and expect to reach a person since I have many appointments and meetings today.

If I don't have an appointment by the end of the day I guess I'll just randomly start calling doctors from the phone book.

Hello, April

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 23:05:00 +0000

Well, it's been a super busy semester and teaching two new classes is keeping me quite busy. So busy that I don't have time to read, write, knit or even sit. I'm most definitely not complaining. It's been a long, but good semester. I mostly have good students and I'm enjoying the new job.

So, to give you something to ponder I'll just comment on a few things that I have read about in the last few weeks that might be of interest.

--> FSP writes about this Ms. Mentor column. My first impression was very negative. Based on what I read over at FSP I thought: Fantastic, Ms. Mentor just freaked out a bunch of already stressed out PhD students by telling them they now need voice training. And that pissed me off. Being a formally invisible female assistant professor, myself, I know that often the problem has absolutely nothing to do with the pitch of your voice, or the ageing ears of your colleagues. I wasn't invisible just in faculty meetings, but in email correspondence and other written communication. My thoughts or just about anything related to me was also invisible, even it was spoken by the correct timbre of a male colleague's voice. The bottom line, if you are invisible, go get another job. Then I read the article and I was less angry, it's not as bad as what I was expecting, but I still don't think that it was exceptionally good advice either. My (untenured) advice would be the invisibility is indicative of a bigger problem that needs to be addressed in whatever way it can get resolved. In my case, that was leaving. If that is not an option, find the ombudsman, let people know what's happening, find an advocate, or a real life mentor. (Ms. Mentor is good for somethings, but I don't think she'll argue your tenure case for you) If they are ignoring your voice, they are also likely ignoring your publications, grants and teaching reviews, and that's a dangerous situation come tenure time.

--> Dr. Isis tells us about extremists. Yikes, just yikes. Here's the deal, extreme activism is not ok. I'm not saying you shouldn't stand up for what you believe in. Stand and be heard. Speaking out is one thing. Bombs and threats of violence are another. That crosses the line and these people should be arrested for impinging on the civil rights of others. Period.

--> Jezebel reports on a new study finds why women leave engineering. Really? Seriously? Get with the program people, this is old news. I left 10 years ago for these reasons, I was 22, "family" didn't have a thing to do with it. I guess, it's good we finally have some numbers to back up what most women who've been through it have been saying for years...maybe now we can do something about it.

FO Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 13:09:00 +0000

It's done! Well, it has been done for a while, but I've been too lazy to take pictures.

Here she is. A whale of a tale!

This is my first completed project from New England Knits, which my sister gave me for Christmas to remind me of home and I want to knit everything from it!.

I had one ball of the navy and one ball of the white that I had purchased to try out for a different project, but decided it wasn't right for that. It's knitpicks Palette. The teal is a little - a very little - bit of Online Supersock 100 leftover from my Pomatomus. I didn't have a fourth color like the pattern calls for so I just did a little row of navy at the edge of the chevrons. Looks great, but it meant that there were a couple of rows that had all three colors floating around, which was a bit of an annoyance.

When it was done, it wasn't quite as floppy as I wanted, but blocking it flopped out a bit more and in the end I'm quite happy with it. Of course it was 80 degrees here today, so it will be a while before the whales see the light of day again!

Real women have curves

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 00:46:00 +0000

So, just in case you missed the memo: women have hips. Yup, hips and sometimes boobs too. Today I'm just talking about hips - we can talk about boobs some other time. Hips don't follow straight lines, they have curves. This inherent, non-linear, feature of hips is a direct consequence of the shape of a women's hip bones. Now, I know I'm a physical scientist, so my knowledge of biology is well, lacking, but last time I checked, no diet in the world is going to change the shape of your bones.

Women have hips for a very good reason, a reason that is required by the biological imperative to preserve the human race. Hips are curvy to carry babies.

At least that's what I thought. I was happily going through life with my curvy hips thinking that it was normal. Until this morning, when I decided to peruse the Sunday flyers and this caught my eye.

This is a page from this week's Target ad. In general, I like to shop at Target, they have good products at a good price, they donate some of their profits to education, it's a pleasant shopping experience as far as big box store shopping goes, etc. Truth be told, I buy clothes there too. Professional looking clothes that I often get a lot of compliments on. So typically, pants on sale at Target is a good thing for me.

Then I read a little closer. Target is following in the footsteps of some higher end clothing stores and starting to sell pants by "fit". This is a phenomena that has appeared in the last few years. Different pants come in the same "fit" so, theoretically, you don't have to try on every pair in the store, but just the ones that have the waist where you want it and the legs the shape you like. Sometimes the fits have numbers - Target is calling theirs 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 and other times they have cutesy names like "The Lolita" or "The Kate". I would tend towards the "Kate" since it evokes visions of a classy princess-to-be and avoid the Lolita - given that it will most likely show more of my butt then is appropriate at my age. (Men: if you have read this far and now find yourself dumb-founded, go ask your wives - this is true - shopping for pants these days practically requires a PhD in psychology)

So there I am, in my blissful curvy-hipped existence, thinking that I might be able to find some new pants at Target this week. Until I looked a little closer...

Fit 1: Just below waist & relaxed hip/thigh
Fit 2: Just below waist & straight hip/thigh
Fit 3: Mid waist & straight hip/thigh
Fit 4: Mid waist & curvy hip/thigh
Fit 5: Low waist & straight hip/thigh
Fit 6: Lower waist & straight hip/thigh

WHAT???? 4 of the 6 fits have "straight" hips? Dear god, should we all fear for the future of the human race*? Do women not have hips anymore? Those curves serve a vital purpose, if on average - which I assume is the target demographic for Target - 4 out of 6 women don't have those very important curves, we're in big trouble.

Now I know that no one really thought this through. I know that "straight hip/thigh" is fashion speak for "form-fitting slut pants" and that's what's in fashion these days (seriously - can we be done with the damn skinny jeans already?). I know that "relaxed hip/thigh" really means "baggy pants for the days you feel bloated" and "curvy hip/thigh" means these pants will likely fit you appropriately enough to wear to work. I know there is a similar coding for the "waist" - mid = appropriate, low = not so much, high = grandma style. So I can still go to Target and get some pants. Curvy - mid waist - average american women pants.

But, I am a grown women, with a healthy body image. I know that I could stand to lose a few
extra pounds, but I also know that I am healthy and that there is a right way and a wrong way to lose them - and really if I want to keep them there's nothing wrong with that either.

BUT:

I am not a teenage girl, or a young women even, who is still vulnerable to the societal pressures of conforming - although some days I was.
I am not a girl who's lost some weight and still feels it's not enough. - although some days I am
I am not a girl whose parents insult her - and I am lucky that I never was and I never will be!
I am not a girl who gets teased - although some days I was.
I am not a girl who has low self-esteem - although some days I am.
I am not a grown women with a healthy body image who just happened to feel "bloated" this morning - although some days I am.

If I was any one of those women, the message here is that I shouldn't have curves, that I should work harder to be "straight". If I was one of those girls, I might find myself crying in a Target fitting room and checking out with a pair of sweatpants and a box of Oreos instead of real pants.

If I was any one of those women, I'd likely be a grown version of one of 70% of teenage girls in America today.

Some of you have young daughters. Tell them they are beautiful. Tell them that every day.

Some of you have sisters, some of you have friends. I think everyone of us knows one of those girls, or worse yet, everyone of us hides one of those girls way down deep inside at some point or another.

In the end, I'm not going to boycott Target or anything like that. If I did I'd have to boycott every place else where I can buy pants too, or clothes at all really, and while I have the skills to make my own clothes, I certainly don't have the time! I'll proudly go get a pair of those curvy ones, they look really nice and at $20 you can't be that with stick.

But, I am still sad that not everyone can recognize the bull and be proud of those curves!

*we probably should fear for the future of the human race, but I certainly don't think that it's because we have evolved past the ability to bear children. It is much more likely because we have too many children and are going to overpopulate the earth - but that's a whole other matter.

How my healthcare is shortening my life

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 16:25:00 +0000

Today I called a doctor's office to set up a physical. 14 minutes and 27 seconds later, I hung up the phone. I was in tears and I didn't have an appointment.

This seemingly simple task, which should, in theory, be making me healthier in the long term, has now added stress and anxiety. I'm sure that the stress is killing all of my cells just a little faster than nature does on it's own.

What happened? Why is it that, I, an intelligent well-educated women, can't make a doctor's appointment? Well, I'm not entirely sure of all the details, but it was something about the insurance doesn't cover it, and the cost, and but when my husband came we didn't pay that, but that's because he had another condition so it wasn't just a "physical" and the bloodwork at our lab (>$200) versus the lab across campus ($15-and you pick up the results on the 2nd floor, we're on the 3rd). Finally when I said I would pay whatever, we got to picking a date, there was a question about birth control and well then, if you get pregnant we can't take care of you would need to see an OBGYN instead and that's two new patient visits in a year and that's not allowed and ?!?!?!?!?! I can recommend and OBGYN, you should call them instead, what hospital would you like to have your baby at if you did get pregnant? Huh? What?

Before you all freak out, I am not pregnant. I'm not planning to be, we've been batting around the idea. Let's say that we have always known we wanted a kid "someday" and "someday" is starting to seem closer. Right now, I just need a doctor to check my blood, bang my knees and look down my throat, or whatever a physical constitutes these day. I know most people don't do these things, but I have enough family history and friends with freaky illnesses that I think it's worth doing it every now and then.

To be honest I'm so confused and there are so many things wrong with this situation, I don't even know where to start. My blood pressure is raised, I want to cry more and I feel pretty crappy, all from trying to make sure I was healthy. We live in a stupid world. I had really bad experiences with doctors were we lived before this. I thought that it was just the particular location, my "northern" accent, or something else- but maybe it's just me.

Given my past experiences, I had a lot of anxiety about even picking up the phone, which is why I waited so long to do it. This time, I did my research, my husband has been seeing this doctor, many of my colleagues have been seeing this doctor, so, I bit the bullet, called the number and said exactly what everyone told me I needed to say to access the services I wanted. Yet still, I'm not getting those services.

We don't have stellar insurance here, I work for the state, and there is a substantial out-of-pocket amount (~$2500 per person) that you pay before you get covered. They cover really big stuff, but not the stuff most people actually need in order to avoid getting to the really big stuff. That's sucky model, but at least it's something. I suppose something is better than nothing. Although until I actually see a doctor, I feel like actually I have nothing.

I'm rambling, I know, but there has been a lot of talk lately about "healthcare reform" and "access to healthcare". If you don't think that we need it in this country, if you don't think that it's important and that really it's only going to help poor people and screw over the rich, you are wrong.

So healthcare naysayers take this nugget of information: I'm a university professor in my mid-30's with a "good health plan" and it seems that even I don't have "access to healthcare".

World Kidney Day

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 00:48:00 +0000

Today is world kidney day.

This seemingly random fact turns out to be not so random in my world. Yesterday, my husband was diagnosed with kidney disease. Likely it's not too serious and it can be slowed down with some medicine or at least that's the hope. It's nice to finally have a diagnosis for the weird blood test results that have been coming back for several years, and we'll move on with our lives and a few more trips to a pharmacy.

Before today I didn't even know that there was an International kidney day. I happened across that tidbit when doing some research on the new diagnosis this afternoon, and so right now I think it's kind of important. I probably always will.

Here's the thing, we actually need a day like today. I don't remind people about national cancer day*. Everyone knows about cancer, everyone knows we need a cure. Until 24 hours ago, I only vaguely was aware that people had kidneys, and somehow just assumed since it wasn't something anyone ever had asked me for a donation about, that modern medicine could fix them. In the past 24 hours, I have become painfully aware that that is not true, turns out we actually need International Kidney day. Because really, when it comes down too it, we know squat about how to treat and prevent kidney diseases.

Hub has had weird labs for ~5 years. Just this fall this doctor decided it might be related to his kidney's and should be checked out. Doctors need to know about kidney health. Now that we know what's going on, there is very little information about what might happen. As a scientist I'm pretty shocked about how little we know about the diseases that effect this rather important organ, despite the fact that we've been able to transplant them for years, we don't actually know how to keep them healthy. The world needs to know about kidney health.

So there you have it, my bit to get the word out.

*I'm not anti-cancer day or anything. Cancer is horrible, and I've walked the walks, I donate, etc. I just think that cancer awareness has made it mainstream, so the need for a special day to make people aware is no longer strictly necessary.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 16:23:00 +0000

I think I got someone fired.

I hate the feeling that goes with that.

But, no matter what way I think about it, it needed to be done.

This is another one of those sneaky things that you don't really learn in grad school and just have to navigate through once you jump on the TT. You are a boss. I never wanted to be a "boss". I just want to do some science. I just want to teach my classes.

It's a bit different from the "real world" because sometimes you are directly a boss to student workers on a particular project, similarly technicians or other wage-based employees and sometimes you are indirectly more a boss/supervisor/mentor/teacher/advisor all-in-one combo to graduate students who you pay off of a grant or someone else pays them to TA or RA for you. Every situation is different and when everyone does what's expected of them the situation works out just fine.

But, sometimes it doesn't work out. That's where it gets sticky. When someone doesn't do their job they have to be let go. Conflict of this nature isn't in my personality, but when need be I try to confront it. These situations can get even more complicated, in large projects where there can be several PIs, several technicians, and multiple graduate students. Everyone has an immediate supervisor, but often you work for more than one person, or find yourself in need of the services of someone who your colleague "employs" rather than you directly, but still you are a "superior".

This is what I found myself smack in the middle of last week. A technician employed by a co-PI decided hat he was my boss and felt the need to advise me on how to run my field project, in a very disrespectful and passive aggressive email. I had to stand up and get a bit bitchy. In the end, I don't really know exactly what happened to him; I just know that he is now "out of the picture".

The objective side of me knows that a) he didn't do his job which is why there was a conflict to begin with and b) he was disrespectful and combative to a "superior" and that in a real world that behavior isn't tolerated.

The girlie side of me feels like crap.

I also feel quite conflicted, because on some level I believe that the whole fiasco stems from a false sense of chivalry - coupled with a little sexism. I'm a petite girl. It's a moderate size field installation. I say moderate, because it is larger than my collaborators have implemented before, but relatively simple by my standards (which is why they asked me to be on the project to begin with-oh the irony). But somehow, no one wants me to be in the field. I get a lot of "we'll take care of that", and then it's not ever done, so when I finally put my foot down and insisted on getting something done by a specific date - all hell broke loose.

In the end the project will get done. I'll likely not work with this particular team again for reasons that extend beyond just this incident, but I do wish I wasn't forced to be the bad guy, when really I was just using my past experience to get the job done.

In the meantime, I've just received a copy of "The Art of Being a Scientist" and by first skim it looks like it might have some good advice on how to navigate some mentoring waters a bit better.

Rediscovering my roots

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 01:18:00 +0000

I've fallen in love again. I feel a bit like I'm cheating, but I just can't help it. Please don't tell on me, I know my knitting will be sad, I've taken up with my crochet hook. We've run off together for a little tryst. But don't worry, it's only a fling, when I run out of yarn I will return....

WIP Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 15:00:00 +0000

Sadly I have no pictures to post today, so I'm going to infect your brains with something else. I'm making the Whale Watch Hat from New England Knits with some yarn that I had purchased to test out as sweater yarn for a hub's next sweater (likely you'll hear that story next week). In any case, it's super cute and I just finished the second row of whales. But every time I work on it this just keeps running through my head:

Ahh good memories. Hope you enjoy it!

the biggest lie - part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 22:18:00 +0000

I feel a little bit like I should apologize for that last post. It was...well....a bit angry. But, then when I think about that I get even angrier. Because the second part of the big lie is this: people make you feel like somehow it's your fault. Sure they express some sympathy, often coupled with some mumbled words of encouragement. But it's more then readily obvious that what they are really thinking...and likely what you are all really thinking is either a) this crazy ass-b**^$h clearly made some really bad choices, I'll nod and smile, but really she dug this hole for herself - that could never happen to me. or b) why is she whining so much at least she's the one who choose to move, really it's her fault.

Well world, stop lying to yourself. This could happen to you too. It was not our fault. In fact we were guilty of nothing more than bad timing. Actually there is a whole cohort of people who just happen to have bad timing. That's not our fault. We made the best decisions that we could. Based on this huge lie. A lie so big that most of the world holds it as truth - as I once did. The simple sad fact is this: we will never have it as good as we were raised to believe we would. We won't retire when we thought we would. We won't be able to send our kids to college like we thought we would. In fact, we might not even be able to afford kids at all. Straight-up we just got screwed. A whole damn generation of us. If you are part of my generation and you didn't get screwed, it's time to wake up and realize that you are just lucky. One different decision, one different perfectly rational viable choice and you could be me. It's just dumb luck, that's all. Dumb luck that I thought that maybe I would try to contribute to the world by teaching the next generation - so that they could find jobs.

And when it comes down to it that's what's really eating me. That universal belief that the lie perpetuates and the world or people I meet project right back at me: That I've done something wrong. Or if you believe in Karma or fate or whatever I must have brought this upon myself. Well I'll admit that I'm not a saint, but I'm certainly not the devil either. And if I get another life - man I'm going to whoop it up and make every bad, irresponsible choice I can think of, because it certainly doesn't seem to make a difference to keep making the rational ones.

So here it is:

Dear World,

I know that we all live with our choices, and I live with mine everyday. I don't regret them and 90% of you would have made the same ones in my shoes. Yes, I chose to become a professor and I knew that would require me to move. Yes, I chose to move again, because the financial nightmare of owning two houses is actually preferable to the horrid sexual harassment and all around just crappy treatment I received at my old job. I know what I've done to myself. Sometimes I get a little b*(%chy about it and for that I apologize. But just shut the hell up because I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

Thanks,
Dr. Rini

P.S. Just so you don't think I've lost my sparkling personality entirely - mostly I'm just all out of anything good on this particular issue - I leave you with this fantastic link found via ashpags on pinterest today. I'm trying to track down a way to buy it for my office - cause you know I teach all about air being "something".

The biggest lie

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 01:32:00 +0000

I've decided that the biggest lie that has ever been told to me is this:

"Real estate is always a good investment - you are building equity - rent is just throwing money out the door"

If you say this to someone, or something similar you are a Big. Fat. LIAR. Even if you believe this to be true - or by some miracle it was true for you - it is a LIE.

7 years ago we ventured into the realm of homeownership under this seriously misguided notion. The rent was going up, we were less and less happy with our landlords, interest rates were low, housing prices were reasonable. The conventional wisdom was that with 20% down you needed to stay in a home for ~3 years to balance it out and we were planning to stay in the area for at least 4 more years so it all made sense. I calculated it all out, we looked at a lot of houses and finally we went to the bank and gave them everything we had (and some we didn't) for the down-payment on a cute, little bungalow. Yea! - We were grownups! - Living the American dream. And if I'm going to be completely honest I loved that house - loved everything about it - it's old house quirks and tiny spaces - it was our home and it felt great to know that every penny I had saved during my working life was safely over our heads.

That is what you do. This is what we condition people to believe they are supposed to do. You by a "starter home" and "start" your life. "Real estate is always a good investment - you're building equity and not just giving you money away to some landlord"

5 years later, two PhDs in hand, we had to move, and we put our house on the market. About 30 nanoseconds later the news broke that there was a "global financial crisis" created by some a-holes somewhere. Turns out real estate was not a good investment - prices were down - way down. But we were so stupid that we just kept believing the lies the world kept feeding to us. Over the next 9 months we heard it all:

"starter homes are keeping their value" - LIE.
"small homes are still selling" - LIE
"it's picking up this month" - LIE

And so, still being brainwashed by that mantra "rent is a waste - your building equity" and believing the lies, we did what was quite possibly the stupidest thing ever and bought another house. The house we were going to live in forever - I was going to get tenure - we were going to have a baby - it had a spare bedroom for people to come visit. We were making this move in good faith and thought that we were on our way. It seemed important on many levels to have a real home - rent was more than the mortgage payment unless we wanted to live in a ghetto and the people at the bank gladly gave us the mortgage - "oh you're small house will sell soon - that part of the market is doing fine - you have so much equity in it that it's no problem"

Six months in, two mortgage payments became a burden, and this was turning out to be a giant disaster. These were the worst times of my life. The stress was unbelievable and somehow people just kept telling us this was our fault. Our fault - we did what we were supposed to do - we had 20% down - we made all of our payments - we weren't flipflopped - but if you were having housing trouble somehow you were part of the problem and not just a victim. Turns out the world really does love to lie to you.

Finally, we threw in the towel and reluctantly became landlords - we kept "building more equity" - in both our homes. Since we were still just starting out, equity in our multiple houses was really all we had, savings were quite limited and we were contending with that damn two-body thing so they weren't growing at any rate to speak of. But it was ok, we were building equity in real estate! I was optimistic that it would all work out. We were just investing our money someplace else, some people invest in stocks and bonds and mutual funds. We were investing in real estate (reluctantly) but "real estate is always a good investment", "real estate is how all the rich people got rich" LIES! LIES! LIES! They are all lies.

So here we are - 6.5 years after buying our first home. We own two houses - we don't live in either of them - in fact we are living in someone else's house -essentially we are squatters. We are two people who are addressed as Doctor on a regular basis and we don't even have a home of our own.

For most of you this is not really news, so why am I bitching about it. Well, our renters are leaving, so we're putting the first house back on the market and trying to find a renter for the second house and to be honest, I am officially out of optimism. I'm no longer beleiving the lies, and you shouldn't either. Real estate is not a good investment - we were not building equity - and I've run the numbers - 6 years of rent just about equals what we stand to lose by selling our two homes at "fair" market value. That is if we can find someone to offer us "fair" market value. If we took the last offer we would lose even more because it was so low we wouldn't even be able to pay of the mortgage - it would cost us MORE money. Building equity my butt. Yup you read that right. I would have more money in the bank if I had just "thrown it all away" to rent.

Many of my older acquaintances have said - well that just the way it is - cut your loses and run. Which is likely what we'll end up doing. That, however, is a very hard thing to swallow. I know that everyone is losing money - investments are shrinking - retirements are being delayed. But here's the thing - we made our "start" by giving it all we had. We're not talking about losing some money on paper - or retiring a year later - or not taking a vacation. We're talking about losing everything we have. We'll be better off then some, I know that and I'm grateful. We'll find another roof to put over our heads - likely an apartment smaller than the one we started off in years ago - We'll put food on the table - and we'll start all over and save every penny so that in a year or two - in our mid-30s we can buy another starter home. Maybe. Right now the only benefit I see to home ownership is that you can paint the walls - so I'm not so sure I want to do it again.

But one thing is for sure - I'll never ever again believe that "real estate is always a good investment - that we're building equity or that rent is just throwing away money".

Maybe our luck will change - maybe in 6 months I'll be doing what I'd like to be doing and settling into a home - a home were we can think about having a kid and living our life and growing old. But for now all of those things are on hold. So, I think the whole world should do the next generation a favor and JUST STOP LYING. I know I not singing that song anymore.

I don't regret my choices, I made them in good faith and I believed at the time that I was making the right ones. I'm just hoping that someday I'll no longer be haunted by them.

ETA: I almost forgot the best part - a few weeks ago it looked like we were going to have renters in both houses - so just out of curiousity we called a bank to see what the possibility of getting a third mortgage would be given the other two essentially become investments. The kind lady told us they would approve us for a loan up to. Wait for it.

$400,000. That, my friends, is more then we paid for the other two houses - combined?! A loan of that value - the purchase price would be higher. So all that BS you hear about no one giving mortgages and that's killing the housing market...it's a lie too.