A Lifetime Learner

Make Small Commitments. Get Big Changes.

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 18:42:00 +0000

Compiled by Michael Dalton Johnson.

Taking Care of You

Drink plenty of water.

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.

Eat more fruits and vegetables, and eat less that is manufactured in processing plants.

Avoid eating food that is handled to you through a window.

Live the 3 E's - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.

Play more games.

Are You A Leader Or A Follower?

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 01:28:00 +0000

Do you consider yourself a leader, or a follower?

Let see.

A leader means someone who is leading others. A follower means someone who follows a leader.

A leader usually have a vision, while a follower follows a drawn out path.

A leader is not afraid to be opinionated, whereas a follower can't make up his mind without influenced by others' opinions.

Yet, here's the thing, we live as both.

During meeting, when you are just one of the attendees, and yet you come out with these brilliant ideas that make perfect sense, and others were drawn into you...you're being a leader.

On the other hand, when you are The Boss by-status, and you sit down and listen to your Floor Managers about what's working and what not in the company...you're being a follower. You are following your key staff's leads.

The same case of being a leader and a follower in everyday life:

When you teach a novice about something you've been good at doing your whole life, you're a leader. They will follow you, because they want to be just as good as you are (or maybe even better).

On the other hand, when you are the one who is seeking new experience in life, you would seek guidance from those who are already a few steps ahead of you. You're following their footsteps (the successful ones), and avoid some pitfalls (from the not-yet-successful ones).

So...rather than trying to live up to any kind of expectation, about being a leader or a follower, why don't we rather be the ordinary guy, who happens to be also a man of character?

The ordinary guy who is also a man of character.

The ordinary guy who likes what they like, doesn't matter what the 90% of population prefers.

The men of character who knows their values, and live by them.

The ordinary guy who is not a sheep.

The man of character who accepts themselves for who they are.

The ordinary guy, who is also a man of character, in possession of personal leadership and...living their purpose in life.

Are you that guy?

How to Take Care of Yourself

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 20:17:00 +0000

Do you take care of yourself?

If your initial respond is "umm," then the answer is no.

If you quickly said yes, let me ask you again, do you take a good care of yourself?

If you still can't figure out, answer these 3 questions below.

From the scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being least often, and 5 as most often, how often do you:

Do something that you don't really want to?
Do something with no good reason as to why you were doing it?
Wish you had said no, but kept it inside and continued on doing whatever it was you're doing?

If by now you had started figuring out that you:

Had not been good to yourself
Had been putting others first most of the time; and
Forgot when was the last time you really had a good time.

It's time, to start taking a good care of yourself.

How to Take Care of Yourself

1. Understand that it is not only okay, but also important.

If you go on the airplane often, you'll know this. In the case of emergency, it is required that you put on the oxygen mask on yourself first, before putting them on anybody else.

If you are not well taken care of, you won't be able to take care of others to your best ability. You owe it to people that you are taking care of, the best and most resourceful, happiest you.

Once you understand this, you will accept it. And that is the beginning.

2. Do things for yourself.

Learn to say no. Do things only when they matter to you.

No need to be a saint or the hero that always saves the day.

Unless you have all the free time in the world and unlimited resources of energy and money, figure out why YOU would do certain things that other requested. Or worse, others EXPECTED OF you. Why?

3. Be kind.

This will sound like a paradox to point #2 above, but stay with me and you will see.

Be generous. Be helpful. Give respect and earn respect.

Give, but don't expect a return. If you're expecting a return, it's business. Put it in writing.

Otherwise, give because it won't matter if you lose it.

Help, because it gives you joy. It = the act of helping or the activity itself. The joy = the look on your loved ones' face, cash prize, or even a recognition.

4. Recognize the differences between "must" and "want".

Everyone has obligation in life. More often than not, obligation doesn't consume 24/7 of your time.

Do what you must do. The rest of the time, do what you want.

If you had done what you must do, don't settle for what you want. You deserve it. As much as everybody else on this earth.

5. Maintain a positive attitude.

Like Mark Twain said, "The world doesn't owe you anything, it was here first."

And Trevor Jones' word, "Nowhere on your birth certificate did it say life would be fair."

Everyone has problems, every lives have circumstances.

Whatever problems come your way, you can make it through.

There is someone, somewhere out there, who were facing a much bigger problem than yours, and they made it through. And so can you.

6. Stay curious - stay humble.

If you need help, ask. Look for those who would benefit from lending you a hand, or answering to your questions.

Nobody knows everything. It is okay to ask questions. More importantly, be open-minded to the answers. Don't make up your mind beforehand, otherwise it's pointless to ask questions.

Ask for help, and if people refuse to help, don't take it personally. They're just taking care of themselves too!

That's why you seek for those who want to receive as well.

7. Maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Physically, and mentally.

Physically: Eat healthy food, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep.

Mentally: Do things that you're passionate about. If you're in relationship, maintain your identity and keep active on your passion. If you're single, enjoy the life without commitment. You are free as wind. That is something you will cherish a few years down the road.

Those are 7 basic steps to start taking care of yourself today.

It won't be easy, but start small, with baby steps, and keep sticking to it.

Once your mindset is developed, putting yourself first in every situations will become a habit.

And it is okay, to take care of yourself first and foremost.

When Is It Okay to Quit?

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 20:33:00 +0000

Quitting is not a high-achiever's favorite word.

Yet, unless you quit on certain things, you're banging your head into a wall.

When you bang your head into a wall, you feel like a failure.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."

So unless you allow yourself to feel like a failure, you are NOT a failure. Despite quitting.

So when is it okay to quit?

Before we get there, let's define the word.

When I typed "define:quit" into Google, the first definition that came up was: "To put an end to a state or activity".

When I used Thesaurus, one of the many definitions was: "To stop doing something".

One thing that neither source mention was the word "permanent".

With that in mind, let's agree that the word "quit" does NOT equal "stop permanently".

Now, when is it okay to quit?

It is okay to quit when:

a) You have an unachievable goal.

There is nothing more dangerous than setting up yourself for failure.

A big goal is good, so you know where you're going, and when you get there.

But it's not okay, to throw that big picture of winning on a far sight and start running towards it despite whatever rocks/cliff/fire are in your way.

When you knew you're going to crash and burn, as well as how they are going to happen to you, yet still taking that road without looking for alternatives, that's not bravery, that's foolishness.

When you knew you're going to crash, as every adventurers face at one point or another, and you do everything within your power to prevent it, and still, keep on going, that's courage.

So when you have a big goal, and half-way down the road you get beaten up, have no clue why you're doing it, and how long will it take to get there, it is okay to quit.

It's called revising the game plan.

b) You have an unrealistic time frame.

You are driving from New York, wanting to go to California. And you want to get there in 5 hours.

Let's not get too imaginative with James Bond's ideas. Let's keep our feet on the ground and honestly think, is it possible?

Let say, somehow, someway you say it's possible. And you have all the resources in the world to make this happen, right on your fingertips.

And if you don't do it, some catastrophe is going to happen. So you must make this happen, no other option.

3 hours in, you got as far as Louisiana, which is already a miracle in itself, and you realize your plan wasn't working. Is it okay to quit now?

c) You lost the drive.

Whatever it is that motivated you, it's gone.

The fire died. It's not there anymore.

Your effort is half-way done though. And now you're dragging your tail getting into the 3/4 of the project.

Is it okay to quit? And pay someone else to finish it, while you're off doing something that would make your effort worth your while?

People grow. Life changes.

If at this very moment, you're living it to the fullest, your half-done projects, or unrealistic goals, despite incomplete, are OKAY to let go.

It is okay to quit, as long as you know why you're quitting it, and have the answer to "What now?"

Go for it. Live for the sake of living.

Life is not always about in pursuit of something, 24/7, 52/12/365.

Life is about embracing the moment.

Can you feel the air in your lung right now? Do you feel the sun?

Do you feel alive? Then you haven't really quit. You didn't quit life. Congratulation!

Anticipation - The Good and The Bad

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 18:41:00 +0000

Anticipation is an emotion. And just like any other emotions, it can be good (serves us well), or bad (doesn't serve us so well).

When is anticipation good?

It is good when you are looking forward to something great. It creates excitement.

Anticipation is good because it keeps your happy feeling longer. Before the happy things happen, while the happy things happening, and even after the happy things are finished.

Happy moments pass, but the feelings and memories last.

It could also be good when you are looking forward to something not so great. It gives you a chance to prepare.

Anticipation is good because you are prepared for bad things that are coming. You are more prepared, either physically or mentally.

Would it make it less difficult to deal with? No. But it certainly gives you the opportunity for preventing them from getting to the worst.

When is anticipation bad?

Anticipation is bad because it is blocking you from enjoying the moment.

When you're talking with someone, are you waiting to hear what the other party says, before coming out with your own responds?

OR halfway through their sentences, you're already thinking of what you're going to say next?

Anticipation is bad because you hear what you want to hear, and not what the other person is saying.

Anticipation is ineffective because you see what you want to see, instead of what is really meant to be presented.

So when to anticipate and when to not anticipate?

This is a million-dollar question. No, I'm just joking.

Obviously, anticipate happy things, but set a time limit and schedule to do so.

A lot of times when we're excited and look forward to something, we miss everything else that's happening around us.

It is sort of keeping your feet on the ground.

Be aware of your own emotions. Recognize the feeling, and savor it. That way you don't take anything for granted, and yet, you're still allowing yourself to be excited.

Now, for unpleasant moments.

It's not fun to be in a situation where you don't belong, or you don't want to be. Or to deal with someone that you really don't want to deal with.

Yay! This is a true test of inner strength.

Are you able to prevent, yet not anticipating, to get the most out this encounter/situation?

Prepare your best, but when the time comes, leave your anticipation along with your preparation.

Once you get in the game, be in it. Don't anticipate, trust your plans, and trust yourself.

When the unpleasant moment is over, no matter how painful it was, you will be learning something new.

When you are in the middle of those not fun situations, and you were able to fully present, able to listen to what was being said, able to get the most out of the situations, you will come out a lot better than those who were just looking at the clock and keep rehearsing to themselves in anticipation to everything that was being said.

In the end, anticipation is good or bad, it all comes back to you. Use the emotion appropriately, at the proper place and time, and you will...make the best out of the situations.

How to Achieve Your Goals

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 17:47:00 +0000

How to achieve your goals is a simple question with an even simpler answer.

Sir Winston Churchill said:

It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.

How to achieve your goals is a big question. How to reach your weekly objective is the slice of the chunk of it.

So what's the difference between goals and objectives?

Goals are broader, objective is narrower.

"Goal" contains the word "go" which means a direction you're heading, and "objective" contains the word "object" which means something concrete.

Goal is the big picture, objective is the milestone.

If you had gotten some ideas as to how goal setting works, it's now time to set your objectives.

How to achieve your goals, is by meeting your objectives week in week out.

When you lay out a game plan to achieve your goals, there are specific objectives along the way that you must reach; in order to keep moving, and keep moving forward.

Sure sometimes you stall, or get sidetracked, or even tripped over a couple times.

Sometimes you get tired and take too long of a break, sometimes you don't feel like keep going.

Eventually, when you don't quit, when meeting your objectives is not a matter of "if" but "when," and you finally get where you're going, you would understand that achieving your goals is a by-product of all smaller successes you've had along the way.

So what are your weekly objectives and how are you going to meet them?

Are You Good Enough?

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 17:57:00 +0000

Are you good enough to do something new? Or be someone better?

So you had just learned this new skill, and you know it's time to practice, yet...you hadn't.

Why?

For various reasons. One of them being "I'm not ready yet."

And the root of that is, "I'm not good enough. Yet."

Well, here's the cold hard truth: You never will. Be ready, I mean.

The key is to start doing it. Sure you'll screw up. But unless you screw up, you'd never learn.

Almost like when you learned to ride a bike.

Almost like the Catch-22 when you applied for your very first job and they asked for experience.

Almost like the paradox between chicken and egg.

Here are 3 steps to genuinely understand that you are good enough to do something:

First of all, get over yourself.

Seriously, do you honestly believe the whole world is watching you? And thus, will catch a glimpse of when you fall?

Nowadays people are becoming more and more self-full with their own life. They have their own problems, challenges and concerns that they need to tend to.

Watching you crawl, and fall, is really not on top of their list. If they happen to see your blunder, oh well, have them try to do it, and see how well they pass that exact same stumbling block.

Of course, you won't necessarily challenge people like that just to make yourself feel better. You're bigger than that.

Second step, do it for the sake of doing it.

What I meant by that is, don't worry about the results on your first few attempts.

When you learn how to play music with an instrument, you study the notes, you play the scales, you grade your progress, and then you go up on level.

The big picture of learning process is like that. No matter what you're learning in life.

You honestly don't expect after the first 3 sessions of learning how to play piano you can perform in Carnegie Hall, do you?

So you wanted to learn this, just do it. If you're good enough to try it out, you are good enough to collect the end result. Whenever it is.

Finally, collect your mistakes in your mind and cherish them.

When you learn, and fall - and yes you will - enjoy the moment. Sure it's painful. Sure it's annoying. But believe, just believe, that with every flub, you are moving one step closer to become masterful.

Just like when you're a kid, when you learned to ride that bicycle, remember your first crash? And the second one? And the third one?

If you're good enough to be on that bike, you are good enough to learn how to not fall the same way ever again.

So next time you catch yourself saying, "I'm not good enough yet," remember how you got on that bicycle for the very first time. Remember...the feeling.

Now, can you do this?

How To Be Unique

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 20:36:00 +0000

First of all, why would you want to be unique?

Wait, do you? Or you just think you do?

If you want to be unique for yourself, because you feel different from others, from the society, from the world around you, than it's okay. Good for you.

However, if you feel the need to be unique to gain someone's attention, don't waste your time. It's not going to work, and even if it does, it won't last.

Ultimately though, the only person you will be disappointing is yourself.

So now that we have concluded that you want to be unique FOR YOURSELF, let's get started to ease up that discomfort.

First of all, accept your imperfections.

Accept them, whatever they are.

Everyone has them. Yours just happen to be more obvious.

If anything, you're not a hypocrite. Not a pretender. You are a genuine human being.

In your intro with others, new acquaintances can be assured that you're walking your talk when you say, "With me, what you see is what you get."

Next step, be yourself.

Show up as yourself. Don't hide anything.

It doesn't mean show off your imperfections. Just let them be.

No need to draw attention to them, but no need to hide them as well.

Accept others' reaction as they are. Factual, not judgemental.

Accept that weird stare from people as you walk by. Accept that people say "huh" at least twice every time you open your mouth.

Just accept it.

This is you. You're walking in front of them. You're talking to them. If you're doing any of these differently, then they're interacting with a ghost.

Don't worry about their reaction. Be aware of how you're feeling.

Are you feeling relieved? Are you feeling light? That's what matters, right?

You feel good. For being yourself. That's important.

Last but not least, don't try to turn others into you.

I'll let out a secret, when you are comfortable with yourself, you are attractive.

You won't have to turn others into you, they would probably be unconsciously influenced.

People around won't realize, but soon they would start talking like you. Using your sentences. Raise their shoulders the way you do, and imitating your body language.

And unless it bothered you, enjoy that pure innocent sense of pride.

Now, not only you are appearing unique, but you ARE unique.

What is Your Learning Style?

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 21:45:00 +0000

What is your learning style, do you know?

There are 3 different learning styles recognized out there: Auditory, visual and kinesthetic.

I always thought I'm a bit of everything. In fact, let me rephrase that. I am everything.

To begin, I need to listen. Listen at least once, and then I need to write it down.

To start memorizing it, I need to read, memorize and finally rehearse.

In practicing, I need to do it. And I know, the first few times, I will be doing it badly. But then, only after doing it badly, I figure out what NOT to do.

So that's how I learn.

What about you?

If learning style is a rather new concept to you, type in "learning style" on Google, and you will find all kind of information.

Some learning style info are rather scientific, some others are opinion, and only a few that are based on research.

Regardless, this matter is so practical, you would know that it is what it is.

So to summarize it for you, these are some common characteristics of people with all 3 different learning styles.

Auditory Learner

You learn by listening.
You remember best of what is said, not shown nor seen.
You speak while you write.
You are easily stimulated by noise.
You sometimes find it difficult to follow written instructions, until after you read the instructions out loud to yourself.

Visual Learner

You write things down.
You remember best of what you saw.
You need to see the person you're talking to.
You are distracted by clutters.
When you have charts, graphics and colors, you 're taking in information more easily.

Kinesthetic Learner

You need to move while learning, whether it's chewing gum or doodling.
You need to feel by touching something in order to understand it.
You remember things that you'd done, instead of said or seen.
You get distracted when you sit or stand still for too long.
You could sometimes be (or were) mistaken as having symptoms of ADHD.

So what is your learning style?

Feeling Overwhelmed - Take Actions for The Instant Cure

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 21:01:00 +0000

Instant cure to feeling overwhelmed is taking actions.

So you say, you don't know what to do or where to start, how are you supposed to take actions?

That's it.

Take actions on something.

You are overwhelmed because you have too many things going on.

Do one thing, just 1 amongst 20. Even if it's the simplest thing, even if it's the least important thing.

Just do something.

When you take actions, you don't feel anything. You're like a robot. You're doing it.

Your mind is focusing on that very thing you're doing. So you don't feel overwhelmed, let alone be bothered by it.

Sure that easiest thing only takes 30 seconds. So 30 seconds later, you're done, and back to feeling overwhelmed.

But that's okay. Because you got 1 thing done. Taken care of. Over with. Period.

Now instead of 20 things, you only have 19 things left.

But if you just sit there, pulling your hair out, biting your nail off, yelling at everyone and making everybody's like miserable...it does not cure your overwhelmed.

20 things will remain 20 things. Now, or 5 minutes later, or 5 hours later.

Start taking actions.

Do it. Do something.

And it's okay to feel overwhelmed, as long as the tension goes down along with your check list.

Is it okay to take care of the menial stuff first? Not really. But it's more okay, than not doing anything.

Is taking actions without considering the most efficient way to do it solve the problem? Not really. But neither is not doing anything, and be all stressed out caused by feeling overwhelmed.

Here's the thing...when you start taking actions, you get on the roll. And that is what you need to start moving forward.

We all, in everything, overwhelmed or not, have to start somewhere.

When you get to half way, I bet you feel less overwhelmed now than when you started.

So start taking actions now, for an instant cure to feeling overwhelmed.

What to Write When You Do Not Know What to Write About

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 02:03:00 +0000

I'm not sure what to write. I really don't know what to write about.

I have 6 minutes to come up with today's blog, and I have absolutely no idea what I am going to talk about.

So what do bloggers do when they have to write but don't know what to write about?

I have a few things I have in mind, which none of them I would have enough time to write.

When I do, however, have at least 30 minutes to an hour to write, these are some of the topics I'd have written:

How-to
Personal experience
Environment observation
Comment on other blogs
How today went
Short-term objectives
Long-term goals
Dreams
Failures
Meaningful conversation
Helpful strangers
Love
Disappointment
People in general

So there you go. Some topics to help you with what to write when you don't know what to write about.

Just make sure you have at least 45 minutes at your disposal.

I know this one post would help myself tremendously in the future, when I have more than 6 minutes, and I happen to not knowing what to write about.

Key to Excellence in Everything That You Do

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 22:54:00 +0000

The key to your excellence, in any endeavor in life, is repetition.

Why repetition? Because the more you do it, the better you get.

It is practically impossible to be doing something over and over again, over a long period of time, and not be good at it.

However, to reach a certain level of excellence in everything that you do, the key is in the heart.

If you genuinely care, you would want to do it better every time.

Another important key to excellence in everything that you do is, patience.

Sometimes you don't get it right the first time, or the second time, or even the third time.

Sometimes when you finally get it right, the process was such a struggle once you got it, you just don't want to have anything to do with it anymore.

This is when a pursue of passion turns into a nightmare.

When you don't get it right the first time, you get discouraged.

When you get discouraged, you start caring less.

When you care less, you would rather do something else.

When you start doing something else, whatever skills you'd gotten up to that point are risked to be gone.

When you start feeling better because you walked away, and try to go back to pursuing your passion, it almost feels like you're starting from scratch again.

And then you start getting discouraged again.

Do you see how the cycle goes?

To wrap this up: The key to excellence in everything that you do are 3 steps - determine what it is, repeat doing it, and be patience until you get a hang of it.

So what is it that one thing in life, that you would like to unlock that key to your excellence?

Take One Step Back - To Move Two Steps Forward

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 01:53:00 +0000

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt the need to take one step back, only to realize that because you did that, you managed to move two steps forward?

It's almost like the reverse of one-step-forward-and-two-steps-back.

Taking a step back is a lot easier to do when we are in the face of situation of others. When we are not in it, somehow we're able to see the bigger picture.

Yet, the most needed time for us to take a step back is when we, ourselves are facing a situation.

However, when we're in a situation, often time we're not able to see straight, let alone the big picture.

Without the ability to see the bigger picture, it is very difficult to spot what the roadblock is, and where the possible detours are.

Furthermore, without being able to go through the current challenges, we won't be able to move forward.

Once we figured out how to get around what's ahead of us, then we're taking two steps forward: the challenges, and the next step.

An ability to take a step back in order to move forward is not something that comes naturally to a lot of us. That's why we need to practice.

If your life is so smooth it's almost boring, learn something new. Do something different.

You will find challenges, because everything new is estranged from our current operating systems, yet...new means excitement.

When you are excited, you're more likely to deal with the challenges as if you are playing a game.

When you're looking at your game as if it is a board game, and you're looking from above, you would easily spot where you need to take a step back, so you can move two steps forward.

Try it.

When you are able to start making it as a habit, in the face of more serious situations, the calling to take a step back and move two steps forward would no longer be a stranger to your operating system.

How Curiosity is Bad for Productivity

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 00:54:00 +0000

I recently learned how curiosity is bad for your productivity.

Let me re-word it, curiosity is not necessarily bad, if you have a strong self-control.

Let me explain its correlation with productivity.

If you are naturally curious, you don't give up easily when you can't figure something out. You messed with it. The more tricky it is, the more curios you get.

It is almost as if the feeling of: "This thing can't beat me, I'll figure it out."

Now, that type of curiosity is not a problem, if you have all the time in the world.

When you have nothing else on your plate, except messing with that one thing that's bothering you.

Unfortunately a lot of times, it is our subconscious mind procrastinating.

We are in resistance of doing something, and our mind seems to find an excuse to mess with these little things.

For example, jammed shredder, broken stapler, or whatever happened to be acting out at that very moment.

More unfortunately, when these little things that are supposedly our way out from not having to deal with any unfavorable task at hand, giving us a hard time as well.

So from an excuse to distract ourselves, now it turned into having to figure something out, and doing whatever we have been avoiding to begin with.

So here's what to do when you are so annoyed because you can't figure something out: WALK AWAY.

Take a shower. Get some fresh air. Walk around the building.

Do anything that completely takes your mind off whatever thing was bothering you.

When you come back, do that very thing you're resisting first.

When you're done with it, get it out of the way, then...go back to that little thing that thought they were smarter than you.

When you do this, productivity is resumed, and you get a fair chance of fight. With no obligations hanging over your head.

How to Pay Attention to Everything

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 01:16:00 +0000

How to pay attention to everything? Or, at least, to the things you need to be paying attention for?

There were times when you should be paying attention, but distractions were too intense.

Or there ought to be some other times, when there is no outer distraction whatsoever, you mind just happened to wander.

How to fix that situation, so next time you need to pay attention you can do it easily?

Provided you don't have ADD, paying attention is a habit. A habit that can be learned, and master.

Yet, like every other new skills and habit in life, it takes time, and effort.

Effort especially, because for the first few days (or weeks) things are going to be tough.

So here are some starter tips if you'd like to start paying attention:

1. Be Present

Be there, body and soul.

If it's a person you're paying attention to, look at them in between their eyes, while you listen to e-v-e-r-y s-i-n-g-l-e w-o-r-d they're saying.

If it's a task you're paying attention to, focus on that one thing right before your eyes. Look at it, almost try to count how many dots above the "i"s are there, how many punctuation marks are there, and so on.

2. What's In It For You

Count on the result. Why is it important for you to pay attention to this?

Is it because if you can get this task done right the first time you can leave early? Or maybe so that you don't have to worry about fixing it over and over again?

What about this person, what would benefit you greatly if you pay attention to this person just this one time (it's not necessarily just one time you're dealing with this person, but for this very present moment, you just have to focus this one time)?

Is it getting this person out of your hair? Is it getting bonus? Is it getting noticed?

What's in it for you if you pay attention?

3. Be Aware

Count when you catch your mind starts wandering. Stop right there, and take a step back.

Get an idea what caused your mind to wander.

Is it because the task is boring? Is it because this person doesn't stop talking? Is it because the quiz is too easy? Or is it because of this person keeps repeating the same thing over and over again?

Whatever it is, once you start being aware every time your mind wanders, you're already progressing a step forward for trying to stop it.

4. Make a Checklist

Checklist, or to-do list, is a classic method that always works. Even if you're not a checklist person, try it out until your new habit of paying attention is formed.

Once you have no problem paying attention, you can get rid of the checklist.

However, remember I mentioned above the effort is going to be the tough part?

Just imagine how much smoother days would go if you know how to, and do, pay attention all the time.

Certainty Sells - And It Shines Through

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 02:47:00 +0000

Certainty sells, because it shines through.

I scored 90% of my job interviews.

Let me give you the definite number. In total I had attended 8 jobs interviews in my life. 6 of them I was hired on the spot.

The other 2 job interviews that fell through, one was because they couldn't afford my rate.

The other one hit a roadblock because I had a prepaid and pre-planned vacation and they couldn't give me that time off. I'm guessing because the mess left by the old position holder was pretty bad, which is not uncommon.

Anyhow, last week I was offered a side gig. I went and met this lady, everything went well. I started the next day.

After the interview with the lady, I came home and my husband asked, "How did it go?"

I wasn't even sure why I said this, but I did. "It went well, how else would it could've gone? When was the last time I went to an interview and didn't succeed?"

As soon as I heard my own voice saying that, I was amazed by that awareness.

I had so much certainty, and it came right out.

So I stood there for a while, and thought of some facts that I laid out at the beginning of this article.

Is that why, because I am certain in what I'm doing? Because I know for sure what kind of value I am offering people in exchange of my rate? Because I have no doubt that they get it?

That's a pretty amazing discovery if you ask me.

Next time you are getting ready to face a challenging situation with people, ask yourself this, "How can I be sure about what I am offering?"

When you get the answer, repeat them over and over again. Repeat them out loud, if you're in the car. Repeat them in your head, or download your own voice into your iPod so you can listen to them if you're taking public transportation.

If you can be sure, and you know you are sure, it will shine through. Try it.

Remember, genuinely believe that you ARE sure.

Certainty shines through. Certainty sells. I know it for fact. Now use it to YOUR advantage.

How to Handle Challenging Projects Successfully

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 22:48:00 +0000

When we work for other people, there will always be circumstances when we must handle challenging projects successfully.

When I said "must" I actually meant it literally. When passing the buck isn't an option, and nobody cares what you need to do as long as it got done, you just have to do it.

Challenging projects are challenging to us, because of 2 reasons:

We don't like it - for whatever reason.
We don't know how to do it - and we don't care to know.

Sure there is always a caveat such as, "It's not I don't want to know, I just don't have time to learn it," etc.

It doesn't matter. Bottom line is, it feels challenging because something is in your way of getting it done and be happy at the same time.

The downfall about challenging projects at work, is the fact that it has to be done. Period.

So here are 2 things that you can do when you come across this situation:

1. Make the Object Interesting

Do yourself a favor, swallow the pride and resistance. Accept that you have to do this, and make it as a game.

How can you treat this task as an individual challenge, instead an obligation?

How can you shift from "I have to do this because this is my job," to "I want to do this because this is good for me. One more thing to help me become that indispensable employee."

Get a reward for yourself. If you manage to complete this task half way done at least, you deserve a quick 15-minutes break to make a phone call. If you manage to complete this task entirely, you can have some gelato tonight.

2. Get in The Zone

Yesterday I spoke about the ways to focus, is to get in the zone, and be in the zone.

Apply it here. When you manage to do this, time will fly by, you won't feel as much annoyed, and in the end, you made a progress. In fact, you might even get it done in a timely manner.

I'll let out a secret, you might not want to hear it now, but in the end, you might discover that this project isn't so bad. You might like it.

If you don't, well, you got it done. That's all that mattered, right?

Now go collect your rewards. And come back another day for another fun day in the office.

How to Get Things Done - It Is in The Zone

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 00:33:00 +0000

If you sometimes wonder how effective people get things done, no matter how much stuff they seem to have, the key is in the zone.

Get in the zone, and then be in the zone.

Fact is, no matter how many tasks one must accomplish, or how thick the piles are on one's desk, eventually things have to be done one at a time.

Even multi-tasking means one thing at any given second.

Unfortunately, no matter what your employer or supervisor is trying to tell you, in the end multi-tasking reduces productivity.

Effective people know that to complete loads of piles, the first thing NOT to do is, get overwhelmed.

After accepting reality that this needs to be done, no matter what, next thing is to start taking actions.

How to start taking actions? Get in the zone.

How to Get in The Zone:

Have a clear picture of the end result.
Have a perfect idea of how to get it done.
Set the stage (have drinks nearby, cell on vibrate, in the drawer, stationary within reach, etc)
Close your eyes, count to 3
Open your eyes
Start doing it

Once you're in the zone, stay in it. Here's how to be in the zone: Eliminate Distraction.

Prepare a punch line when you get interrupted, i.e. "I'll get with you when I'm finish with this." Try not to even look at the person, or you'll get your mind distracted.
Close your door, if you have one. Or, make a little folded carton at the edge of your desk, written, "Will be with you in 10 minutes."
Put an incoming bin at the end of your desk. Let everybody know you have a lot to finish today, so anything that needs your attention please leave them in your bin, with a red sticky note for urgent papers, so you know your priorities even though they're in the middle of a pile.

Now what if the interruption comes from your boss?

Let them know. You have A, B, C to finish, they all due at the same time, and it's pretty soon. Which one would they like you to handle first, A, B, C, or their current request?

The importance of finishing up tasks is, to take care of them one thing at a time.

To take care of every single thing in the most effective manner is, to get in the zone, and be in the zone.

Do it for each and every single one of your daily tasks. For 2 reasons: Time flies by, and you're doing exactly what you're paid to do.

The Importance of Momentum

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 23:31:00 +0000

Anyone who is familiar with sports knows the importance of momentum.

What most people left out is, to apply the same principle into achieving success in life.

Just a brief clarification, momentum is that key point of time when you're right in the game.

When you're in the zone, just playing and not focus on anything else. Not because you don't want to, but you're not even aware that the world exist sometimes.

When you have that momentum, what exist is only you, and that exact movement you're doing. Right at that very second.

Like everything else in life, momentum could be positive, and could be negative as well. Right now, though, I'm talking about the positive connotation of it.

When you have the momentum, it's hard to stop. When you are still, it is hard to start one.

So when you are aware that you have it, DON'T STOP. Unless in the case of emergency, don't pause, because you'll lose it.

More often than not, an ability to holding on to your momentum throughout the course of the entire journey will determine your end result

When you're in a pursue of a rather big goal, momentum is your key. Hang tight when you have it, don't let go, and your prize is getting closer each step of the way.

Working Alone at Home Could Get Lonely

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 23:49:00 +0000

Stop working and relax could be a challenge when you work out of your home. Especially if you are a solo-entrepreneur.

If you'd never done it, it would sound like the best choice of a lifestyle. However, once you start doing it, while it felt great at the beginning, after a while you would start realizing all its imperfections.

When you work alone, at your home, there are 2 things that could happen:

a) You'd feel lonely

b) You're slacking off

Right now I will be talking about feeling lonely part. I'll leave the slacking-off part for next time.

It Could Get Lonely

If you're a self-driven and creative individual, you'd find working alone is a blessing. Nobody interrupts you, things are done on time, tasks are accomplished efficiently.

However, after a while, you would get lonely. You'd soon realize, there's no one to talk to. There's nothing to vent about.

Sure time flies by. Before you know it, you keep taking more and more projects (because you can) and after a while you'd realize something is missing.

It could be that warm conversation with your best friend, or the afternoon radio show that you used to listen to on the way home. It could also be as simple as the lunch menu at a specific restaurant.

Here are some important things to remember when you are working alone from home:

1. Set Your Operating Hours

Don't work 24-hours a day only because there's no lunch break and you don't have to clock out.

Set your Operating Hours, which is different from Working Hours, and stick with them.

2. Take Your Break and Go Out

Go out and meet friends for lunch. Or even make a sandwich and take to your neighbor. Anything as long as you get out of your home-office.

3. Surround Yourself with Other Solo-Entrepreneurs

Connect with people in the same situation online. See how they do it, what works and how you can do it too.

Those are the basic thing you can do to keep loneliness away from your exciting endeavor as a successful solo entrepreneur that's happily working from home.

How to Learn Foreign Languages

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 22:31:00 +0000

Learning foreign languages is very intriguing to some people. Not only they sound oh so cool, but also gives you a sense of adventure in a way.

Every time you hear people speaking foreign languages around, it almost feels like you are at a different world. In a different country, amongst expatriates.

Have you ever thought of learning foreign languages?

If you do, you're in luck, because I am about to share some tips to get you started.

Here are basic step-by-step method to get your learning foreign languages experience started:

1. One Language At A Time

I'm sure French and German sound just as cool, but you do have to choose one to start with. Chinese and Japanese could look similar, especially to foreigners, but they are not the same.

It's great if you would like to learn more than one foreign languages, but for the process, let's do it one language at a time.

2. Why This Language

To the least, figure out why you want to learn this particular language. What's the reason? Anything special? Anyone special?

Learning foreign language could be challenging, especially if you aren't born in family with diversity, and have never been in touch with the use of this new language in reality before.

Figuring out the reasons will be your fuel, to keep you going when things get tough.

3. Buy Books/Audios

Get materials where you can do self-study. Resources like these would help tremendously with your reading and writing.

To help with Reading: Get 1 beginner handbook, and read the entire book from beginning to end in one sitting. Sure you will skip a lot of pages, in fact it should be like you're just flipping through it the first time.

Do it over and over again throughout the next few weeks or months. Do not move on to the next book until you're able to read the the entire book in a fraction of time compare with the very first time you did it.

To help with Writing: Re-write the entire text book. This is especially true if you're learning foreign languages with non-Latin alphabets, such as certain Asian letters. If your new language is using the Latin alphabet, pay special attention to improve your spelling and grammars.

5. Befriend Native Speakers

Nobody speaks better than native speakers, even if they don't always use proper grammar.

Make new friends with native speakers, preferably those who are interested in learning your language.

This is to help your Listening and Speaking skills.

If you live in the city, hang around the areas of town where these native speakers hang out.

While you can always connect and communicate via web cam, when you communicate face-to-face, their body language helps getting you 'connected' to their language.

6. Get a Tutor

If possible, get a tutor. For a beginner stage, get local tutors, who are able to connect the language to you better.

When you get to the more advanced level, try to get some tutoring from native speakers.

7. Practice Over and Over Again

Practice is the key word. Don't get tired of it. Don't think you're incapable. That's why you're learning!

This is a big thing: DON'T BE EMBARRASSED TRYING OUT SPEAKING.

If native speakers laugh at you for humiliating purposes (not many of them would, by the way), but, just in case they do, ask them to speak your language, and see how well they do. At least you have the courage to learn, something that they don't.

The willingness to learn new things is a blessing.

Taking a step to start learning foreign languages will not only play to your courage, but also getting you one-step closer to that feeling of a boundlessness universe.

Are you feeling that energy yet?

The Beauty of Traveling

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 00:14:00 +0000

Do you love traveling?

How often do you travel?

I love traveling. When my husband and I got together we made a commitment that every year, we're going to visit different state. Priorities are for states that both of us never went to before.

The idea is, after 50 years we're together, we'd have already visited all 50 states. Turn out, we might get that travel mission accomplished earlier.

Last year alone we visited 3 states in adjacent, CT, MA & RI. Do you see how that works?

Anyway, here are the reasons why we love traveling:

1. It's Refreshing

It's a total vacation. It's a different place, different people. You don't see things that you normally see everyday.

You don't drive on the same roads. You look around and everything is different.

2. All Good Mood

When people are on vacation, they want to have fun. They're in a good mood. Probably in the best mood they've ever been all year long.

The same things that can get you ticked off when you're in everyday situation, feel a lot more tolerable when you're on vacation. You brush it off, you just don't think about it.

3. It's Fulfilling

If you're like me, traveling fulfills your curiosity and sense of adventure. Just by being elsewhere, doing things that you won't normally do, or won't do otherwise.

When you travel you would take chances and do some risky activities, just for the fun of it. Sometimes it could feel like you're a different person, in a different world.

4. It's Temporary

This one is probably personal too. I love traveling, FOR FUN. Once or twice a year, being away for a week or two. After that, I get tired, and start missing home. So I return.

Home sweet home in its original sense. Traveling makes that possible to appreciate one.

Traveling for work is no fun. You're limited to what you can do, how much you can spend, how long you must stay. It's work. Not play.

So why do you like to travel and when is your next traveling date?

How to Uncover Your Natural Talent

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 01:38:00 +0000

Scott Ginsberg is a whiz kid. At age 29, he'd written a few books, featured on TV and radios, and he's truly a bottomless resource in term of marketing and being approachable.

Following is the excerpt from one of his famous articles, 16 Questions to Uncover Your Natural Born Expertise.

I had recently used this list, and found it to be very helpful. Anytime I had a doubt about what I'm doing, who I'm doing it for, and why I'm doing it, I referred back to this list.

So here are 7 out of 16 ways to uncover your natural talent, according to Scott:

If someone paid you $5000 to sit down with you for one hour, what would you tell him?
If someone was going to pay you $1000 an hour, what are the questions they've got to ask you to get their money's worth?
What are you recognized as being the best at?
What can you speak forever at the drop of a hat?
When you wake up in the morning, what is the one thing you can't (NOT) do?
When you work, what is the one thing you can't (NOT) do?
Why are people picking you?

So, what are your natural talents?

Impatience is Not a Problem

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 19:59:00 +0000

Impatience is a character that could sometimes kills desire and decapitate objectives before it gets even close to being accomplished.

I am impatient.

Yet, I always manage to complete tasks, finish projects on time, and accomplish any big goals I set my mind for.

Am I proud for being an impatient person? Not really.

Do I want to change and have less impatience? Maybe, someday. Not right now though. We all have to pick our battle, one battle at a time.

Being less impatient is in a very low of my priority list right now. Why should I, if it had never effected my accomplishments all these years?

There are many ways to get around your weaknesses. Right now, I'm going to show you how to handle impatience.

There is only one word. Sorry, two words actually: BABY STEPS.

Here comes the big words: Chunk down your goals. Draw your project as a big triangle, with the final outcome at the peak.

What steps would have to be taken in order for the big goal to be accomplished?

What sort of things must have happened first? And then? Next? And lastly?

Here's what happen when you take baby steps: Every time you manage to move forward, you feel accomplished. Great you! Next.

Feeling accomplished is a big thing, especially if you have a rather big goal.

If you get discouraged early on, you wouldn't have known, but unconsciously you start giving up.

When you start giving up, the further steps become heavier and look bigger than they really are.

From then on, every step is a struggle, and every move is a huge drain to your already low energy level.

See why baby steps?

True you might need to take more steps that it is necessary. But is the ultimate outcome to get there faster painfully, or steady but sure?

Not too mention when you try to take bigger steps and trip over yourself, not only your timing that is getting bruises, but also your ego.

It seems like a paradox that when you're impatient, your plan takes longer to accomplish because of the amount of baby steps you need to take.

Yet, isn't life in and of itself is a big paradox sometimes?

At least I can tell you it works, impatience ---> baby steps.

How to Rest Effectively

noreply@blogger.com (Jean Kurniati) — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 20:41:00 +0000

How to rest effectively varies for each individuals.

I'm not a big fan of one-size-fit-all solutions. Everyone is unique, and thus, should be treated as such.

What works as a method of rest for someone might not work for others.

Some people like reading as a form of relaxation. To others, that's a torture.

Meditation works magic for some people. To the rest, it's a waste of time.

One can find argument to any methods of rest, but one thing that's for sure, we're all wired differently. And that's okay!

If you don't enjoy walking in the park as a form of relaxation, find something else that's the opposite. Maybe do some workout at the gym. Or go to a busy place and socialize.

There are a few methods that work very well if you can't figure out the best way to relax for you:

1. Sleep

That's not an argument. Our body needs sleep, and so does our mind. How long do we need to sleep, that's a different story. Some people will do fine with just 5 hours of sleep, others need 7.

2. Do the Opposite

Do the opposite to your routine. If you work in front of computer all day, take a break by doing something that's completely unrelated to computer stuff, i.e. read a book, talk on the phone or even run to the store.

If you work outside all week long, take a break by staying inside the house over the weekend. Maybe catch a movie, or do things that require you to stay inside.

If you're on the road all the time, the effective rest would be staying in. Enjoy your home. Do things or buy things that would help you be more comfortable staying in.

Bottom line: To rest effectively is a choice. True as well for taking a break or intend to relax at the first place.

If things are NOT going to fall apart if you take a true 10-minutes break each day, or an effective 12-hours rest every week, you would only come back refresh, rejuvenated and ready to tackle whatever may comes your way.

Wouldn't it be more beneficial to put in that effort to rest more effectively?