A Lifetime of Love

{Social Distancing: Week 11 (SDW11)}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 31 May 2020 16:47:00 +0000

This week brought about the end of the school year, cleaning out lockers and retrieving items from the kids' various schools, returning items to said schools, and lots and lots of rain. Like a lot of rain. Every day. :(

Seriously though, this week was a refreshing break after all the emotions of graduation from the week before, as well as the stress of Zoom meetings and school assignments from the weeks prior to that. I spent a lot of time reading (current read: “Unbroken” by Laura Hillenbrand), meal planning, time in my classroom organizing my lesson files, and preparing for the 4K Art Show at my school.

Every year, the preschool holds an event called Family Day. Families come and watch a performance put on by their child’s class and then enjoy a reception. For the 4K students, this also includes an art show. We spend almost the entire semester preparing for the art show. We study an artist and either replicate one of their works or create our own piece based on their style of work. This year, my class studied Dale Chihuly, Claude Monet, Jackson Pollack, Georgia O’Keeffe, Vincent Van Gogh, and Andy Warhol.

Family Day is a lot of hard work on all of our parts not just because of the time and energy spent in the art work, but also because we learn a special song for our performance. When schools were closed due to COVID-19, we were devastated; Family Day was scheduled for the following week, and literally all of our hard work was for nothing. Everyone- teachers, family, students- was so, so disappointed.

My director decided to hold the Art Show and to provide a sense of closure for the year. After much thought, a plan was devised as to how we could safely hold the Art Show. My class was assigned a specific day and each family signed up for a 10 minute time slot. During that time, they could view the artwork, take some pictures at a photo station, pick up a little gift from my assistant and me, and retrieve all of their personal belongings that were left in the classroom the day school was closed. It was wonderful to see all of my kids, and so very special! The Art Show was not at all as I hoped it would be in terms of normalcy, but this year’s version was still great! I am so thankful the pandemic was not able to take it away.

I hope you enjoy the photos!

{Graduation Pictures}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 24 May 2020 17:56:00 +0000

I think Thomas’ graduation was such a special event that it deserves it’s own post with pictures. Enjoy!

Before we left for the ceremony

Dr. Gallman, one of his favorite teachers

John Mugabe, a bright young man who is going to do great things in this world!

Gabby and Tatyana- 2 girls from Youth Group who also attended school with Thomas. Both of these girls are beautiful souls and great friends to Thomas.

The Calls- good family friends who are always so supportive of us!

His name on the big screen!

Receiving his diploma

A family from the school purchased fireworks for after the ceremony. It was amazing and such a thoughtful surprise for everyone. It was so touching as these Seniors truly had a memorable graduation ceremony.

{Social Distancing: Week 10 (SDW10)}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 24 May 2020 17:28:00 +0000

This week brought about a major life event, and truthfully I am still processing it.

My oldest child, Thomas, graduated from high school. He is officially an adult. My parenting journey with him is finished. At this point, I can only offer him advice. He is fully responsible for the choices he makes, as well as the consequences.

18 summers. That is what we, as parents, are given to influence, mold, discipline, and train our children so that when the time comes, they are responsible, contributing members of society. It is an arduous task that at times seemed not worth the effort. But, looking back, there really isn’t much I would do differently except perhaps cherish the time we had together. While the days were so, so long, the time has passed quickly! I look back at old photos and the memories they invoke seems like they happened just yesterday.

Homeschooling Thomas afforded me the gift of time with him, and if nothing else, that alone made the stresses of homeschooling worth it. The Lord knew what He was doing when he placed the idea of homeschooling Thomas on my heart, and the trials that we faced as a family over the years that we homeschooled provided opportunities to lean on the Lord and draw closer as a family. Would that had been possible if we hadn’t embarked on the homeschool journey? I can’t definitively answer that, but my gut tells me no. Homeschooling grew me in ways only homeschooling could; in no other way would I be with my child for the majority of the 24 hours in each day.

Thomas is young for his grade, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned for his well-being when he heads to college in the fall. But again, faith and trust in the Lord to protect Thomas and give him wisdom is what I am clinging to. When the times comes for TJ and I to say our good-byes as we leave campus, Thomas will be fully-surrendered to the Lord. That is a hard to pill to swallow. For now, I am handling things okay because our life is pretty much like it always has been, but I know when we say those good-byes, I am going to lose it.

So what is the point of this post, really? I’m not sure. I suppose it is just a means for me to express what I am feeling during this quarantine. The graduation ceremony was definitely different! It was held at a (semi-)local drive-in movie theater. The cars with graduates inside lined the first 4 rows, and all other family and guests filled the remaining. It was a celebratory time and I am ever so grateful to the faculty and staff at the school for allowing the graduates to gather together one last time before each one headed off to blaze their own path in life. The mood was joyful and fun as family and friends gathered around cars laughing, sharing stories, and making memories. My mom, Tanner, and some family friends, the Calls, attended graduation with us. It was a sweet time and honestly the best graduation ceremony I have ever attended.

Each passing week of social distancing causes me to be more thankful for the time spent with my family. I honestly expected to be tired of them, and sometimes they grate on my nerves, but overall, this is just one blessing from the Lord as He strengthens family bonds and helps us see the truly important things in life: time spent with loved ones and the memories we share.

SDW10 was bittersweet: bitter in that my time with Thomas is coming to an end, but so sweet in looking back on the memories I have as his mother. Looking forward to what SDW11 brings....

{Social Distancing: Week 9 (SDW9)}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 17 May 2020 11:30:00 +0000

Mother’s Day began SDW9. I woke up to Titus standing next to my bed with a Christmas-themed gift bag full of stuff. He begged me to get up and as I did, I could hear the other kids upstairs with TJ. When they saw Titus downstairs and me following up behind him, they started scolding him for waking me because they weren’t “ready” for me to come up.

When I walked upstairs I immediately noticed signs covering quite a bit of wall and furniture space, as well as the counters and doors. They were all uniquely different expressions of basically “Happy Mother’s Day.” Some were written as acrostics, some drawings, and some distinctly bore the words “Happy Mother’s Day.” I had to chuckle because my kids really know me- a lot of the signs made mention of my love of teaching and reading.

My older boys redid a flower bed for me. It had been ripped up years ago to get rid of the scraggly bushes that were trying to grow, but we had never replanted anything in their place. A friend of mine organized with the boys to have them come over and dig up some of her shade flowers to plant in the space. Then the boys decided to purchase some additional bushes and bags of mulch to complete the area.

Front flower bed completed by the older boys

Along with redoing the front bed, the older boys also purchased some ground cover for a new flower bed we have in the backyard. They also added additional mulch to the area and the finished product looks so good! They don’t verbalize their love for me, but “acts of service” is definitely one of my love languages so this gesture definitely conveys their feelings towards me.

TJ and the other kids bought me 4 hanging flower baskets to go around our patio area. They also purchased a hammock swing for me. I love to sit outside and read, and I know love it even more! I literally sit in the swing for a couple of hours every afternoon with my book. I have been researching a topic and was able to finish two books on the subject this week. The benefit is I can hear my children if they are playing in the driveway, and if they are in the backyard, we can swing together. It is one of my most favorite gifts EVER!

The hanging basketes and swing from TJ and the kids

Some big news this week was that I was accepted into graduate school. I began researching the steps necessary for me to renew my teaching certificate a couple of years ago. At the time, I decided I didn’t want to complete the requirements, and it was mostly because I was being lazy and didn’t want to have an added stress in my life. I researched the topic again last summer, and for much the same reason, decided to postpone it. However, now that I am only going to have one child at home with me during the day (outside of preschool hours), I figured now is a good time. As I began the steps to re-certify, I realized I had been out of school far too long and a refresher class would be helpful. That led to exploring options of working towards my Master’s degree. Once I learned I could both work and attend school at the same time, I decided to apply. I am super excited to begin this journey! I have always loved to learn and I definitely think taking more classes will have a direct impact on my teaching ability. I am hoping to begin classes soon!

SDW9 also provided some closure on the school year. I was able to work in my classroom to pack it up for the summer. I gathered all the students’ belongings and bagged them up for their families to retrieve. I took down art work and bulletin boards, removed the line-up spots off the floor, put away all my alphabet and lesson plans, emptied mailboxes and cubbies, and packed up the calendar. It was very surreal, particularly because I was by myself.

The day time stopped on traditional schooling

We had 112 days together

Cubbies emptied, floor ready to be waxed, and bulletin boards down

Bare bulletin board and reading area- ready for a new school year!

Closing up the classroom is something my assistant and I do together. We go through each cabinet and purge unnecessary items, toss broken manipulatives, and clean as we go. None of that happened this year. It felt as if I was walking into an abandoned house and was trying to process what I was seeing. There were evidences of life everywhere!

It just so happened, on our last day together in class we had a Silly String fight. It was totally unplanned and definitely out of character for me, but an urge took over and I just started spraying Silly String across the room. Mrs. Barnes (my assistant) picked up a can and it was an all-out war! The kids thought it was hilarious, and although messy, it was such a fun time! I am so unbelievably grateful that was our last time physically together. As I worked around the room, I found remnants of Silly String on cabinet doors and chairs. It immediately brought a smile to my face and memories of our year together came rushing back. It was a GREAT year!

SDW9 also brought a birthday for one of my daughter’s teacher. She is single and lives alone so Taryn, my daughter, planned a special afternoon for her. We picked up sandwiches and enjoyed a picnic with her by the river. We talked, laughed, and shared memories of their year together. Taryn loved every minute of it, especially being able to personally give her teacher her birthday, end of year, and Teacher Appreciation gifts. It was a sweet time together! Ms. Fuller has become a favorite teacher, for sure! I could write an entire post dedicated to my kids' teachers this year. They have all gone above and beyond to help my children (and their classmates) succeed this school year. And this behavior didn't start when schools closed due to COVID, it began on the first day of school.

Taryn and her precious teacher

As week 9 comes to an end, I am reminded that the school year (for my own children) is wrapping up. I am grateful we have made it this far in terms of schooling at home. We have our routine and we have all adjusted to it. It was definitely challenging in the beginning, but we reflected, adjusted, and analyzed how things went each week (the true traits of a teacher). I am so proud of their diligence and ability to adapt and overcome so well. They miss their friends, teachers, and school routine for sure!

I have come to realize that our previous “normal” will never truly routine as social distancing is now an ingrained part of our lives. I don’t know what next school year looks like or if I will even be returning to teach (due to societal changes) because of social distancing requirements. How does one keep little children, who barely understand germs, separated from each other? Social distancing is for sure going to affect social development in these little children, for sure! I try not to think about next school for too long because my anxiety tends to take over. I know the Lord is in control and He will give the wisdom and grace needed when the time comes. Until then, I am going to continue to live in the moment and enjoy today.

If you need me, I’ll be in my swing enjoying the warm breeze and shade given by my favorite tree.

{Social Distancing: Week 8 (SDW8)}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 09 May 2020 21:00:00 +0000

8 weeks.

I can’t believe it has been 8 WEEKS since social distancing, quarantine, and COVID-19 became such common verbiage in my life.

This week brought about a broken air conditioner BUT God was so gracious to provide cooler temperatures outside. It was only miserable in the house one day (inside temp reached 85*), but other than that, we kept the windows open, fans spinning, and time outside to enjoy the beautiful weather. And, thankfully, it was not a terribly expensive repair.

Week 8 also brought on Teacher Appreciation Week. I love this week because it affords me an opportunity to sit down and write a note to each of my children’s teachers. This year it was no different, except that my children were unable to hand-deliver their notes and gifts. We boxed up everything and delivered to the front door of the school. They will receive their boxes when they come to the school to pack up for the year. It’s sad, but at least they will know how loved they are!

Teacher Appreciation Week also brought me tears of joy, especially since life is so different this year. A wonderful friend and parent of one of my students organized a parade for myself and my assistant. Many of my students and their families participated, and it was a sweet surprise that generated the biggest smiles and best hugs from some of the kids. They came loaded with a full meal, signs, balloons, cards, candy, and flowers, among other gifts. I loved seeing them all, and the gifts they brought were just a bonus!

My school also organized a parade for all the teachers at the school. The teachers all decorated a spot in the parking lot and the families drove through. It was a nice gesture and it was definitely fun to reconnect with my coworkers/friends. Some of them I haven’t seen since quarantine began! All the teachers were given potted plants and a gift card for ice cream from a local ice cream stand.

Overall, week 8 will be remembered for all the kindness and love displayed to me by others.

A student handing me flowers

Feeling the love!

And more love!

Tobias at the Teacher Parade after receiving his gift from his teacher

My assistant holding her "flat student" at the teacher parade

{Social Distancing: Week 7 (SDW7)}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 03 May 2020 11:00:00 +0000

Full acceptance hit this week. I didn’t cry (very much) and I didn’t get sad; rather, I just reached the point of acceptance. Acceptance that I am not returning to school this year, and neither are my kids. Acceptance that we will be social distancing for a long time. Acceptance that this is our new normal, and our previous normal will never return. I have come to realize that acceptance is a good thing.

Acceptance brought peace and calm. It also gave me time to reflect, analyze, and think about changes I want to bring about in my life as a mom, teacher, and friend. I was able to go back and look through photos of my year in my classroom, and seeing my little people brought some BIG smiles; we had such a fun year!

Acceptance also forced me to realize that there is no better time than now to pursue my goals. I want to be the best teacher I can, and in order to be that, I need to know more. When you know better, you do better. I enjoy school and learning, and I try to take advantage of attending teacher conferences and workshops to stay up to date on the current trends in education. So, I decided now is the time to go back to school and work on my Master’s in Education in Curriculum and Instruction in Special Education.

Basically this degree with enhance my knowledge of teaching practices and instructional methods for students with special needs. While I do not plan to teach in a special ed classroom, having this knowledge benefits ALL students because as studies show, there are MANY unidentified students with special needs in regular, general education classrooms. I have witnessed this in my own classroom, and I honestly feel if I didn’t have a background in Special Ed, my students would be labeled as behavior problems and underlying issues would have gone undiagnosed. Helping these students in particular is my passion, and I want to continue to do so as effectively as possible. Can you tell I am excited!?

Acceptance brought joy this week, and because the prevailing sadness was gone, I was much more mentally present with my family this week. My baby, Tobias, celebrated his 3^rd birthday. We celebrated him with a Chick-Fil-A picnic at the park with all of us, including Tanner and my mom, before coming home to have cake. Also, one of his teachers stopped by with a gift and to wish him a happy birthday. He was THRILLED to see her! Tobias is OBSESSED with lawn equipment like Tanner. He takes sticks to use as a weed-eater and an open dump truck to pretend to mow the grass. We decided to give him those items so he doesn’t have to pretend. He was ECSTATIC!!!! Thomas had him load his equipment onto Tanner’s trailer and he drove Tobias around the block to his “work site.” I wish I had a picture of the smile on that boy’s face- he was proud as punch!

I also enjoyed some time reading outdoors, and that ALWAYS brightens my mood. I am reading “Just Mercy” by Bryan Stevenson, a book about the (in)justice system in regards to minorities living in the South. Historically, black children face more difficulties in school because of lower socio-economic status, educational opportunities, single-parent homes, and racial bias by educators. Poor school performance leads to higher numbers of drop-outs, which leads to lack of good-paying jobs and higher crime. Stevenson focuses on the injustice people of color face within the justice system, but truly it starts at the foundation: education.

It is really heart-wrenching and just makes me all the more determined to better the educational system starting at the base, which is the preschool/early learning years. If I can share the love of learning and help provide equal learning opportunities in my classroom, I can help change the trajectory of some of these kids. My heart has always been bent towards those who are considered the outcasts of society, and it is probably because I have felt like an outcast my entire life. This has become my life's mission, and it excites me to use my gifts as a teacher to make a difference in others’ lives.

On a different note, this week we found out Thomas will still have a graduation ceremony. I can’t believe he graduates in less than 3 weeks! While it will be nothing close to a traditional ceremony, I am so thankful he will be able to celebrate this life achievement. We have been waiting for this moment his whole life! Most of the “Senior” milestones have been canceled so the fact this is still taking place will make it all the more special.

Surprisingly, I am looking forward to SDW8. It is one week closer to the end of the school year, but it also means that we have fell into a good routine with schooling at home and juggling the demands of family responsibilities. God has been gracious and loving towards us in so many ways, and reaching this point is proof! The best life lessons are learned in hardship and the way we respond. It isn’t easy, but it is so worth it to see from where and how far we have come.

Have a great week!

{Social Distancing: Week 6 (SDW6)}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 25 Apr 2020 11:30:00 +0000

*Sigh*

This week has been mentally challenging. I was officially laid off from my teaching position and began the steps to file for unemployment. That was heartbreaking, and it has nothing to do with money. When I was still being paid, it gave me hope that we might return to school before the end of the school year. However, the moment I received the news, my bubble was burst.

On Wednesday afternoon, the governor announced that no one would be returning back to school before the end of the year. That was expected, but again, knowing what my children are feeling makes it difficult to accept. I have been thinking about this a lot, and it seems to me like we are going through the stages of grief (all over again). I definitely had denial (no, school won't be canceled), anger (why can't we just stay until Spring Break), bargaining (we can at least go back for a day to see friends and say our goodbyes), depression (been in this stage far too long), and now acceptance. I get it- we are in it for the long haul and there is nothing I can do to change it!

I have been trying really hard to find the good and make better use of my time, especially since I know we will be doing *this* for several more weeks. Since being laid off, I have had to give myself some time away from my class in terms of lesson planning, etc. Yes, all this time at home and I have still been planning and sharing lessons with my students. Since it is 4K, obviously the work is optional, but I wanted to provide it for those families who needed something to do during the day. I will continue to do so, but this week I needed to not think about the students in my class for my own sake.

This week I decided to empty my attic of all my homeschool books and materials. I have taken photos of each set and listed them for sale. If quarantine has taught me one thing it is definitely that I will NOT be voluntarily homeschooling my children again, lol. Trying to juggle teaching a geometry lesson on angles to my 7^th grader while keeping the almost-3-year-old out of the snacks and the 5-year-old from climbing so high in the tree while in the middle of responding to Facebook messages on behalf of my 15-year-old who was selling his high-end lawn mower just proves that I made the right choice for my mental health when I went back to paid teaching. :) Anyway, I digress…

Working on taking pictures and posting curriculum has given me a project this week and kept my mind busy. I also made time for fun, and that included strawberry picking with the kids.

We had such a good time and the weather was PERFECT! There was a couple other families there when we arrived, but by the time we really started picking, the fields were empty. We just enjoyed the quietness of the farm and snacking on fresh strawberries. Tobias wore his rain boots (as he does every day regardless of the weather) so he thoroughly enjoyed jumping in the puddles and wading into the deep muck. The smile on his face and the joy in his eyes made me so happy! This mini-adventure was a blessing from God because normally our days would be too full to enjoy a simple family outing such as this.

Some other blessings this week were having meals delivered to us. One of my sweet students and her family brought over the fixings for a full taco bar. It was a HUGE hit as Mexican food is definitely a family favorite! Plus, it was so good to see them and I couldn’t refuse a hug from a 5-year-old, especially when she was running at me. It was precious and made me cry. She kept hugging me and didn’t want to leave- so sweet!!

Another evening my sweet neighbor texted and said she was having supper delivered to us. It was a feast of pork BBQ, mac and cheese, green beans, salad, mixed veggies, and dinner rolls. The kids enjoyed the change of menu as we typically don’t eat BBQ unless we are out somewhere. I loved the break from cooking and menu planning!

I also made it a point to be a blessing to others this week. I picked up coffee and a sweet treat for one of my neighbors and delivered it to her. She has 4 youngish children, one of whom was in my class last year. It was nice to surprise her, especially since she had said she had been having a rough day and had stopped schooling for the day. Boy, do I understand that!

{School's Closed}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 23 Apr 2020 04:27:00 +0000

When we took these pictures, I had no idea these would be the last pictures we took as a class. Looking at them brings so much joy to my heart! What else could the smiles, the laughs, and the fun of dressing up and being silly bring to one’s heart?

Today my heart is hurting. I miss these kids. I miss the hugs, the excitement of sharing in their lives, and the thrill of witnessing them master a skill. I miss my right-hand man (woman) who is so much more to me than my assistant. She is my friend, my idea-bouncer, and the peanut butter to my jelly. She is just as important to the success of the year as I am as the teacher.

We were only a few days away from Family Day, which is the day we sing songs and reveal the art work we have been secretly working on for the past 3 months. The stress of planning the artwork and executing the process was almost to an end, and I was both thankful and excited to reach that point in the year. I had already begun planning our next big thing, the 4K Circus. The Circus is our version of a graduation, only cuter. The children perform acts and then the entire 4K sings some songs. We were going to tye-dye T-shirts and sign each other’s shirts as both a reminder and a memento of our time together in class this year. It is such a bittersweet time as these kids cross over from preschooler to kindergartner.

I had more books to read, more songs to sing, and more dances to dance. I had more lessons to teach, especially in our study of the alphabet. Back in October when we started our letter focus, I collected the artwork we made each week that corresponded with the letter we were studying. I had planned to bind them into a personalize alphabet book for each parent and give it to them at the 4K Circus. We only made it to letter Tt. We had 6 more letters to go, yet we will never reach Zz, at least not as a class.

But more than anything, I had more love to give and I wasn’t ready for goodbyes. I wasn’t ready to walk out my classroom door and not return. It’s kind of ironic, but I had the children’s faces on some penguin cutouts for our Winter bulletin board hanging in the hallway. It was literally just their face- no human body, no neck, just a smiling face that was attached to a penguin. When I switched to the Spring bulletin board, I couldn’t bring myself to throw the faces in the garbage, but I didn’t know what else to do. So I hung them up on the cabinet above my sink until I could think of something. Each morning I would come in the classroom and set up for the day, and those faces would be smiling at me while I worked. I couldn’t help but smile back. If I had known on March 12^th that I wouldn’t be back in my classroom or able to see those faces again, I would have brought them home to hang in my house. I miss those little faces so unbelievably much!

I had completed Winter assessments on my students at the end of February. I was so proud of all they had learned this year, and I looked forward to seeing even more growth between Winter and Spring. Some of my students were just beginning to read, and we were going to work on building those skills. Some of my students were still struggling with number and letter recognition, and I had lots of fun activities planned to help them continue to learn. Some of my students were ready for simple addition, and I had a game for that, too.

I know the Lord has a plan for this time in our world, and I know good will (and has already) come from it, but disappointment is a real thing and it is okay to feel it. I mourn for what we are missing out on, and what my own children are missing out on with their teachers and classes. I mourn for my own high school Senior who has no Senior prom, no time with friends in his final semester of high school, none of the experiences that most of us have in our Senior year. It hurts. I hurt. The parents of my students hurt. The kids are hurting especially because most don’t understand WHY we can’t be together at school. As much as I try to teach them, the concept of germs just isn’t something kids grasp until they are older, and even then most don’t care.

So for all the teachers out there who teach because they are passionate about what they do and who they influence, I see you. I feel your pain. I know your heart, and I know your heart is hurting. We spend so much time with these kids (usually more than our own children) and they leave each year taking a piece of our hearts with them. But that also just means that we love them, and love is the greatest gift of all. We love because He (Jesus) first loved us. I am so thankful to know what love is, and to know that I am loved. Stay strong, and use this time as a reminder to cherish the wonderful opportunity teaching (and parenting) affords us: to love and influence a future generation for good.

{Social Distancing: Week 5 (SDW5)}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 20 Apr 2020 05:08:00 +0000

Phew! This week was hard for so many reasons, especially since we are coming off Spring Break, but the reason that stands out the most is simply me missing my "old" life- the life prior to social distancing and coronavirus- and the many things (and people) I took for granted.

I walked a lot this week, which was good because it gave me time to clear my head and focus on the beauty of the world around me. A really bad storm passed through parts of the city late Sunday night, and when I walked early Tuesday morning, the devastation seemed just as bad as it had the day before. But, there were so many beautiful parallels to what we, the world, are experiencing that it sort of took my breath away.

Huge trees were uprooted or even split and broken in half. Branches and leaves were everywhere, covering the roads and yards. Power lines were down and some parts of the city were without for several days. As I walked and saw the devastation, I also saw the flowers which continued to bloom and flourish. The squirrels and birds who carried on life as usual. The worms (and there were plenty of them) who wiggled their way back to the safety of the dirt and grass. All these sights made me realize that despite being knocked down, I didn't have to stay there, and I shouldn't. I needed to get back to life as usual, or at least as usual as it gets during this time.

So, what does that look like, exactly? Well, I'm not really sure. I know I need to spend more time focusing on my relationship with those around me. My children have been thrust into this just as much as I have, and we all terribly miss our schools, our friends, and our routines. Homework just doesn't have the same meaning when you do it all day long!

Along with my children, I need to focus on my relationship with my husband. We have been having virtual "date nights" with friends of ours. It is actually quite funny because all we do is play with silly filters on the video chat and take screen shots of them. But it's in those times of silliness that I find the joy in all this. It is so, so good to laugh as it definitely lightens the mood. I have found that I look forward to our weekly video chats as we sit on the patio by the fire. The simplicity of it all is actually rather comforting. Knowing that just being together is enough, more than enough, actually.

We went fishing this weekend at a friend's pond. We were the only ones by the pond and only talked to our friends from the distance of our vehicles. As we sat by the water, I watched some of my girls as they tried to catch tadpoles. There were a few close calls with tumbles in the water, and after a while they just decided to risk it and simply stepped into the muck. While they were busy catching tadpoles and hanging onto tree branches to support themselves, the little boys just talked, cast their poles a few times, and mostly caused mischief. They tried to "free" the worms a few times, wanted to play with their older brother's bait and tackle, and snuck sips of my drink while I looked the other way. This family fishing trip was stressful at times, peaceful at times, but a lasting memory for sure, just as this pandemic is and will be!

I have fond memories of going there when my oldest son, Thomas, was little. I don't remember exactly how old he was, but somewhere between the ages of 4 and 6. He, like the girls had been doing this time, was trying to catch something near the surface of the water. Thomas slipped and fell in! Thankfully it wasn't deep water and he was mostly muddy and completely wet. It served a good lesson on being careful around water and always watching where you step. He was so embarrassed when it happened that we had to leave.

As I sat at the pond this past weekend, I thought about Thomas and that particular day. It seems like it was only yesterday when in reality, it has been at least 10 years. I have learned through all this time at home, away from the distractions of life, that time is something that cannot be stopped and is definitely limited.

I plan to make better use of my time, and I am thankful for this opportunity to do so.

{Social Distancing: Week 4 (SDW4)}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 13 Apr 2020 00:30:00 +0000

SDW4 was so nice! It was Spring Break week for my kids so we were all able to take a break from school and the stress that goes with it. The kids enjoyed beautiful weather and lots of time outdoors. I did, too. I took several walks around the neighborhood or sat outside in the sunshine. It was glorious!

This week we also went on a picnic at a local park. We were isolated and enjoyed watching the ants working around us. The fresh air and change of scenery did wonders for grumpy moods. As a family, we ended Spring Break by roasting hot dogs and marshmallows over the camp fire. The girls attempted to camp outside on the trampoline, but it was too cold at night. They were all back in their beds by 3am. ;) TJ did take the kids fishing a couple of times. They LOVED it, especially the boys!

Our dishwasher has been opening mid-cycle so TJ ordered a new latch. I am hoping it will be an easy fix and it won’t need to be replaced. We just had to replace our dryer last week.

Easter was today and we celebrated all weekend by painting wooden eggs, dyeing hard-boiled eggs, had an outdoor egg hunt, a virtual church service, and of course a big ham with all the sides. For dessert, the kids decorated Easter cookies that I surprised them with. The kids enjoyed these new experiences, and hopefully they will become a new tradition for us.

I am not looking forward to starting back to school tomorrow. I have enjoyed not waking to an alarm and not having the added stress of making sure everyone is doing what they should. Although I didn’t complete any tasks on my personal To Do list, I did enjoy just being still. I listened to a couple podcasts and rested in the patio chair. I am definitely longing for lazy, summer days!

{Social Distancing: Week 3 (SDW3)}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 05 Apr 2020 20:51:00 +0000

Week 3 has been better in many ways. School was easier to complete, I was able to "talk" to friends while maintaining social distancing rules, and I got myself on a more "normal" schedule for our morning routine.

Schooling with Ruthie, my 1st grader, went a lot better since I assigned my older 4 girls specific times to play with/entertain my little boys. We tended to finish her school work by noon each day. Ruthie was also able to Zoom with her Spanish/math teacher one-on-one a couple of times throughout the week. Seeing her teacher and receiving individualized instruction was so good for her emotionally and academically. Ruthie was also able to Zoom with her class and both teachers for a little bit one morning. This is really the first time she has seen her friends and had an opportunity to talk to them. I think it was the highlight of the week for both of us!

Ruthie talking with her class

A couple of mornings this week I met a friend in a parking lot to drink coffee and chat. We maintained our distance by both staying in our cars and talking through the windows. It was nice to have real face-to-face conversation versus through a screen. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for technology and the fact that we can see each other, but sometimes human contact is necessary for mental well-being.

My dryer died this week so that was a challenge I had to overcome. Thankfully it was towards the end of the week AND the weather cooperated so I could hang up the clothes to dry. I don't have a clothes line so I had to make do with what I have- patio furniture. The clean clothes weren't so clean once they were dry because of pollen and little children constantly touching them, but they were clean enough. We are back-logged on laundry because the clothes wash faster than they dry, and I didn't have anywhere else to hang wet clothes. We were only to wash one load in the morning and then another load before bed. The clothes were able to dry in between, and I brought in the patio chairs at night so the clothes could dry in the house since it was warmer than outside. Thankfully TJ was able to buy a dryer at Lowe's and it was delivered yesterday. We are playing catch up today but it is definitely going quicker than air drying.

Clothes drying outside

The kids played outside a lot this week. This is nothing new or different, but I did allow them to play with the hose. They adapted the familiar "Dunking Booth" game and it was really funny. I enjoy seeing them play together, especially when they get along. I am thankful they have each other to play with as some of their neighborhood friends don't have siblings to play with. I know that has been difficult for those families.

Dunking Booth

When school was in session, I woke up at 4:25am to go to the gym. After my workout, I would come home to shower and get myself ready for the day. The kids would get up and get their day going, as well. It worked well for us, and I thrive on routine. I decided I needed to get back on my normal schedule, albeit I didn't wake up QUITE as early. The gym I belong to does a live Zoom workout in the mornings at 6:30am. By joining those live workouts, I had accountability and support from friends and the trainer. It was a great feeling to feel "normal" and definitely contributed to a positive mindset for the day!

I feel a sense of purpose and accomplishment in teaching, and I definitely miss that. I think that is why getting up early and following a similar routine has helped me so much mentally. I have received countless texts, video messages, and emails from parents and students sharing how much they miss me, and it is difficult for everyone to be away from each other. I am planning a little surprise for the end of the week and hopefully my students' days will be brightened. My own children greatly miss their school friends and teachers. They have received postcards and letters in the mail from their teachers which put smiles on their faces.

My class Zoom call

As we head into Spring Break and SDW4, I am looking forward to taking a break from school and the stress that comes with teaching my kids and ensuring all their work is done. I have a couple of projects for my own class I would like to do, and honestly planning and preparing for my class is a stress reliever for me. I LOVE teaching and lesson planning as it forces me to use my brain in different ways than I typically do.

Happy Monday, and do something outdoors this week!

Tobias playing in our backyard

{Social Distancing: Week 2 (SDW2)}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 29 Mar 2020 18:37:00 +0000

This week was somewhat better than last in certain aspects, but it also brought its fair share of difficulties.

TJ wasn’t feeling well most of this week so that meant I was a single parent for 90% of the week. Let that sink in- 9 kids for 90% of the day, 24/7. There were a few times where I was able to get some time to myself, for which I am thankful, but I am ready for this entire situation to be done and over. Trying to balance schoolwork, housework, cooking, sibling squabbles, and children is challenging and often overwhelming for me. I cried daily in the shower, sometimes in the middle of day, and even before bed depending on the day I had.

I realize I am sounding very negative so let me add there were a few bright spots in my week. The first was on Tuesday when I got to see most of the students in my class. Let me share the backstory (since there really isn’t much else to do these days): prior to all the school closures, my class was writing a book together to be published. We had all the writings completed and were planning to do the illustrations the week of St. Patrick’s Day (so, during SDW1). Obviously with school closing that didn’t happen. It made me sad to think that our school year was ending so abruptly and with so many unfinished plans and projects. I decided to email the parents to see if they would be willing to meet me to get the special book paper so each child could complete their illustrations. All the parents agreed, which thrilled me! Tuesday afternoon we met at the school parking lot and I was able to see and talk to those who were there (from a safe distance, of course). Everyone was thrilled to see each other! Friday, I collected their pages and I was able to see some of those who weren’t there on Tuesday. The best news is that our book is complete, and I sent it off to the publisher!

The second bright spot was Thursday evening. I put my children to bed and was able to video chat with other moms. I ended up staying on for 4 hours! It was nice to share struggles and ideas with other moms. I have missed outside interaction despite taking walks around my neighborhood. My friend Vanessa said it best when she said she never knew it was possible to be surrounded by people (our families) yet feel so alone. I couldn’t agree more! Thursday’s video chat allowed me to get some much-needed connection.

Another bright spot was on Friday. After I picked up all the book pages at school, I had a video chat with my class. We all talked about the various ways we have been trying to keep busy and pass the time. Some showed off some new skills and others just sat and listened. The best part was when one of my students asked me to read a story. I wasn’t prepared so I quickly grabbed the first book I could find in my stash of school stuff. Ironic, but the book was about friendship and the importance of having friends. It was a great opportunity to discuss why we couldn’t all be together in school, and I reassured them I loved them, and we would be together again at some point. When I hung up, I had to take a few minutes to cry because I just miss those kids, our class and routine, and the mental relief teaching school brings me.

Friday evening, again after I put the kids to bed, I was able to video chat with some more friends of mine. We are used to seeing each other every weekend so SD has been hard, particularly in that regard. We had fun just hanging out and talking, taking silly pictures using the filters on our phones. I hope we make this our new Friday night routine just to give me something to look forward to.

What I learned during SDW2:

· The snack bag idea was wonderful! The kids loved it, and I loved that I didn’t have to make another decision regarding approved snacks throughout the day whenever various children asked. I am definitely doing that again.
· Schooling my 1^st grader is still a challenge despite having activities for the little boys. A lot of my tears this week were due to the stress of schooling during the day and trying to keep up with assignments, video chat times for all the kids, video chat codes for all the kids, and checking progress on the middle- and high-schoolers. I never was able to catch up on the 1^st grader’s work so thankfully the teacher gave us Thursday and Friday as make up days. We had a solid 3 hours of school each of those days just to catch up because we had gotten so far behind. I think this week I am going to assign the older kids to 30-minute time slots where they must take a break from their schoolwork to play with the little boys to allow me to focus on Ruthie’s schoolwork.
· I need an hour each day to myself. I need to be able to not have any responsibility for at least an hour for my own sanity. I have been on the verge of a mental breakdown a few times this past week and honestly, I am struggling. Trying to keep the kids quiet during the day while TJ works is challenging, schooling, and all the other “stuff” I do to keep our household running is taking its toll. I am hoping now that TJ is feeling better, things will be a little different.
· I need sleep, and I need to figure out a way to get it. Tobias has not been sleeping well and as a result, I have not, either. I have been getting between 3.5 – 6 hours of sleep depending on the night. I am physically and mentally tired.
· The kids need to leave the neighborhood, even if only for a drive around town. The change of scenery does us all good, and a surprise treat from the drive-thru is just icing on the cake. This is something I will do again, probably at least twice each week so long as we are permitted to go out.

This wraps up SDW2 in our house. How is everyone else managing? Am I the only one struggling so much? I see pictures on social media of smiling, happy kids and adults and wonder what I am doing wrong. My kids miss their friends, I miss my friends, and we are sick of being together. There are only so many places one can go to get away from others, and that is part of the struggle. I would love to hear how others are doing and activities or ideas that are helping you/your family as you isolate yourselves from others.

{Social Distancing: Week 1 (SDW1)}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 22 Mar 2020 18:37:00 +0000

I haven’t posted in a couple weeks, and I always process my thoughts/feelings better through writing, so this blog post is going to be somewhat lengthy. Stop reading whenever you are tired or bored, lol!

A week ago last Thursday my sister, who is the District Nurse for a district in OH, called me and told me her district was closing beginning Monday by order of the governor. I was a little surprised, but I understood. Fast forward to last Sunday afternoon. The governor of SC ordered all schools here to close, effective Monday, also. I was not surprised as between Thursday evening when my sister called to Sunday afternoon, several states had shut down schools.

While I wasn’t surprised, I also wasn’t prepared for what that meant. Schools closing have effectively turned my world upside down. And not just my world, but everyone’s. I am going to chronicle each week as we employ “social distancing” from our friends, classmates, and even family members.

Week 1: 3/16-3/22/20

I woke up early Monday morning with a fever. I had been experiencing horrible back pain all weekend and thought perhaps I was coming down with the flu. I had no other symptoms except the fever and back pain. I emailed my primary care doctor at the VA clinic and she referred me to urgent care to make sure I didn’t have a urinary tract or kidney infection. All basic testing came back normal so I was told to go to the hospital for more in-depth. I declined and went home instead.

Tuesday morning I felt 100% better. Distance learning (or E-learning) began for 3 of my kids. I got them going on their work and worked on some projects around the house that I had been putting off. The weather was beautiful outside so the kids were outside for most of the day. I did not allow any friends or neighbors over, though, because I had been sick the day before.

Wednesday I had to go pick up the other kids’ schoolwork at their school. We came home and worked on a little bit of it with my first grader, but the kids mostly played outside. I still did not allow friends over. By Wednesday I was really missing my class and was very emotional as the reality of the situation sunk in. I guess I thought at first it was going to be like a school break, but as the week went on, I realized there really is no end in sight. A parent in my class suggested everyone download a certain video chat app so everyone could see each other. We did, and seeing those sweet little faces brightened my day.

Thursday was the first day everyone had schoolwork to do. The kids all went to their respective work spots and Ruthie, my first grader, and I did her work together. It took us a couple of hours, but it wasn’t terrible. By lunch time everyone was finished so I let them play outside again. I did allow them to play with their friends later in the afternoon, but no one was permitted in the house. I spent a lot of time video chatting with the parents and kids in my class. It did my heart good to be able to “talk” to everyone!

Friday was a rough day. Ruthie’s schoolwork was taking us a long time and I was very discouraged. I had some things I wanted to do personally and couldn’t because she is not fully independent with her schoolwork. Also, my littlest guys (ages 5 and almost 3) would not play with each other well. They kept fighting and disrupting us as we tried to work in the kitchen. By 12:30pm I was so stressed with schoolwork we stopped for the day. She still has some work to complete, but I needed to quit. I did have an emotional break down but after spending some time outdoors, I felt better. I did allow my kids to play at their friends’ houses and allowed friends to play outdoors here, too. It was good for everyone to get some fresh air and to just “be kids.”

Saturday was spent hanging around the house and just doing odds and ends. Friends were outside here, and my kids were outside at others’. They enjoyed some sprinkler time and again, it was nice to just “be kids.”

Sunday, today, we socially isolated ourselves again. Pollen is bad and two of my kids woke up with headaches and sore throats. I texted their friends’ parents and informed them we were isolating ourselves again and shared why. I picked up some flowers for Tanner and me to plant together this week. Since we are isolating ourselves, I need something to do to keep my mind busy.

Things I have learned this week:

I don’t like doing school at home. Believe it or not, I find first grade to be challenging. Not so much the actual work but knowing how much support to give my daughter. We struggled with me helping too much or not enough. I still don’t have an answer.
We are going to be home for a while. No school, no eating out, no practices or lessons, nothing. I must find reasons to get dressed because it is not good for my mental state to stay in pajamas all day. I am going to shower, dress, and put on make-up just to give me a sense of normalcy in this very not-normal world.
I already didn’t like cooking, but now I must be more creative in my meals due to meat shortages. I have had to incorporate more meatless meals, which has proven to be difficult because of a gluten-allergy.
I must plan for this week and hold my kids to a schedule. Last week wasn’t terrible, but again, since we are in this for unforeseeable future, a better planned day can only benefit all of us. Things I need to plan out include daily snacks and snack time, a set lunch time, and a set time for their schoolwork to be completed. It will help all of us to know when each day’s work will end and give us a goal to work towards each day. I need to also plan activities for my little boys to do while we are doing schoolwork to help keep them out of trouble.
I need to set up a time for me to cook and bake. Even though I am home all day, I have found myself avoiding the kitchen. I do enjoy baking but keeping my kids out of trouble has proven more time consuming than I care to admit.
I need to take time to get outside each day, even if it’s just to sit and enjoy the sunshine. It is good for my mental health and the fresh air will help rejuvenate my attitude.

So, this has been our week in a nutshell. I am looking for the blessings in this whole situation, and there are several. As a social person I need to remind myself of this truth. It is easy to focus on all the negatives and ignore the positives.

I hope you have a great week as we enter Week 2. I am sure I have more lessons to learn this week and will share those accordingly next week. For now, I am off to make supper and prepare for the week ahead!

Fully Funded!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 28 Feb 2020 22:18:00 +0000

So I shared in my last post that I went back to paid teaching 2 years ago. I am teaching 4K at a local preschool and LOVE it! I wasn't sure what to expect with that age group, but I teach academics along with social and behavioral skills and it is a perfect match for me.

I applied for a grant last November to fund a project I wanted to implement in my classroom. I want an indoor tower garden that grows plants hydroponically so we, as a class, can grow our own fruits and veggies. There are so many learning opportunities in this project including nutrition, biology, literacy, and communication skills, among others. Each of these learning opportunities imbed academic, social, and behavioral skills and definitely fits into the overall goal of my classroom environment.

I am thrilled to say my project was fully funded, and hopefully by the end of March we will have everything in place and can at least explore the science behind the way it works. We will not be planting anything this school year because the classroom will be vacant over the summer, but as soon as the new school year begins, we will start our class garden. I will have the summer to think about and plan out specific lessons on the various stages: introducing the concept, starting our seedlings, observing the growth, and collecting data throughout the process.

Along with the tower gardens themselves, I also used the money to purchase power cords, indoor grow lights, the other necessary equipment for the garden, seeds, and several children's books on gardening. I am so excited and very proud of my accomplishment in winning this grant! I put a lot of thought, effort, and time into writing my proposal and the fact that others see the value in my idea is very affirming to me. It is a boost to my confidence and I am appreciative of both the funds and the support behind the funds.

Until next time....

6 years in 10 minutes

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 21 Feb 2020 20:41:00 +0000

It has been almost 3 years since my youngest was born, and about that same time, my life drastically changed. My older children at the time were 14, 12, 10, 8, and 7. My oldest was finally old enough and responsible enough to babysit. Now, to be clear, I didn't leave all of the children with him, but it was nice to be able to run errands and not have to take EVERYONE. That little fact was seriously life-changing. Additionally, my older children had acquired more responsibility at home in terms of life skills: they did (still do!) their own laundry, keep up with their rooms, can prepare full meals, and a host of other skills 100% independently. It took so long to get to that point, though, and the time between me being 100% responsible to them being fully responsible was the hard part. Like seriously, if you read back through my previous posts, you will see the struggles I openly shared as a mom and wife. Life ain't easy!

And that brings us to now. 2020. My oldest is now 17, a high school SENIOR, and has been accepted to Clemson University (Go Tigers!). I stopped homeschooling him in 2017 at which time he started at York Prep Academy. However, he does dual enrollment so he actually doesn't go to the high school at all. His classes are all through our local community college and it has been a perfect fit for him/our family. He is earning both high school and college credit (hence the term "dual enrollment") but more than that, he has taken 100% responsibility for his education. I have no idea when his papers are due, when he has a quiz/exam, etc. He just knows if he fails a class, he doesn't graduate high school (since he needs the credits). This is his second year doing dual enrollment and so far, he has made As and Bs.

My second child is turning 15 in 3 weeks, which means he will start driving. I CANNOT WAIT! This boy has had his own lawn business since he was 7. Seriously. It started with mowing/blowing neighbors' yards, but over the years, his business has expanded to basically all of Rock Hill. Between us (his parents) and his older brother, he keeps us running him around every weekend during the school year and every day during the summer. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely proud of his work ethic and determination. He has saved up, purchased, and sold several commercial mowers over the years, and he continues to upgrade his "fleet," as he calls it. When he gets full driving privileges (next fall), there will be a celebration at our house, for sure! :)

To save time and so as not to bore you, I will briefly share the current ages of my other children as well as introduce you to the youngest two.

Tristin-Grace is now 13 and in 7th grade, Teagan is 11 and in 5th, Annie is (almost) 10 and in 4th, Taryn is 8 and in 2nd, and Ruthie is 6 and in 1st grade. Titus is turning 5 on the same day as Tanner and will start kindergarten in the fall. He is so much like Tanner it's crazy! Tobias is the baby and he will be 3 in April. He has completed our family and I seriously cannot imagine life without any of my kiddos. Like I wrote above, life ain't easy, especially with kids and all that comes with them, but it sure is sweet!

Now, a little about me now that I am no longer homeschooling...

I am in my 2nd year teaching 4K at a local preschool. I was a little apprehensive about teaching this particular age group, but I LOVE it! I can totally see God's hand in putting me where I am today, and I am so thankful. Paid teaching has provided me an outlet that I was missing for so many years. Being a SAHM can be very isolating, and for me it was (again, read back through my posts and you'll see what I mean). But also, having a large family is also very isolating- who wants to have a family of 11 over for dinner? Not many are willing, and I don't blame them. So that put the burden on me to entertain if I wanted to have friends over. And that added more to my "plate" which produced more anxiety. The anxiety led to be not wanting to do it because of the added work load, and that lead to depression. It was a viscous cycle that I was in for so.many.years. Too many years.

Going back to work allowed me to have adult interactions, time away from own kids, and most importantly, time to do what I love, which is teaching. I am happiest when I am at school as I love my job, my class, and all that goes with it. Don't get me wrong- I love my family and enjoy them, as well, but it is different. I eat, sleep, and breathe teaching. I enjoy researching best-practices for certain challenges in the classroom, I love planning and implementing fun lessons, and most of all, I love to see the growth the children make over the course of the year. My brain is challenged differently at school than it is when I am at home.

So, that's the past several years in a nutshell.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 21 Feb 2020 18:33:00 +0000

Wow. It feels so weird to be writing again. It has literally been YEARS since I typed a blog post. Like, I've had 2 more kids since the last time I wrote anything.

So why am I writing now? Well, several reasons.

First, at the urging of a friend (thanks Vanessa!), I thought it was time. I went through a tough season of life where finding time to blog just wasn't possible. And not blogging isn't what made that season tough, to be clear. Rather, it was just impossible with the demands of my family. 9 kids in 14 years. Let that sink in.

Second, I think when people are truthful about their experiences, it makes them more relatable. I have shared openly about my struggles as a mom and wife pretty much from day one of starting this blog. Having so many children in such a short time span, I definitely understand the fears and frustrations that come with mothering. The times when sleep deprivation and potty training and wanting later curfews all blend together. I.get.it.

Third, I want to encourage others, and that has always been one of my main motivations to sharing so openly and honestly. The Lord has given me a heart for moms, particularly those who struggle like me. There is something about knowing you're not alone that gives strength and lends support.

Finally, I want to see how far the Lord has brought me and my family over the years. Looking back on those early years, I honestly don't know how I did it other than Jesus in my life. Without His hand upon my life, I shudder to think what my life would be like. I have walked some dark roads (some shared here, some over the period where I wasn't writing) and I do not want to forget them. That may sound strange, but looking back at what I have had to overcome encourages me to keep going when I face more difficulty.

I am not sure how often I will get to blog, but I do plan to do so more frequently. Writing has always been a way for me to get outside of my head and sort out my thoughts. I missed it, but again, I knew it was simply not my "season" to do so as much as I wanted. Until next time...

{A Good Idea?}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 28 Jan 2014 20:59:00 +0000

For many years now, the Lord has given me a burden for moms. A burden to encourage them in their mothering journey and share what I have learned in my own (good and bad) experiences. I cannot begin to count how often I hear the comment, "I don't know how you do it. You are amazing." While I don't necessarily feel amazing, the comment just solidifies my heart's desire to share with others.

I have been thinking about how to do this and I came up with an idea. I would like to get together with a group of moms (stay-at-home, working, older kids, younger kids. If you're a mom, you're invited!) on a monthly basis for about 2 hours. During this time, we would discuss a topic related to mothering, being a wife, running a household, etc. We would study in-depth what the Scripture has to say about the topic, and practical tips and ways to apply it to our lives. Of course there would be food because (I love food!) no gathering can be complete without it.

So what do you think- Is this something you (or someone you know) would be interested in participating? If so, when is good- day or night? If day, would you be willing to pay a small fee ($2-4) to help cover the cost of childcare so we could meet without the interruption of children? Remember, it would be a monthly event....

Please join me in praying about this. My heart is burdened for moms, particularly mothers with young children. I know how difficult it is to get a shower let alone leave the house by a reasonable hour. Just today a friend commented on this very topic to me. Let me encourage you, it DOES get easier. But, in the midst of it, it can be very isolating. I think this would be a great way to not only learn practical mothering tips/skills, but fellowship and encourage other moms who may be in desperate need of it.

{Happiest of Birthdays}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 24 Jan 2014 21:44:00 +0000

Last Friday was my 35th birthday. Although not a "milestone" birthday by any stretch of the imagination, I have been dreading it secretly because it means I'm closer to 40. For years I have been (jokingly) telling my kids I am 29....and the young ones still believe me because they simply don't know any better!

Late Friday morning, a friend of mine picked up the boys so they could do some work around her horse pasture. Tristin-Grace went with them since she had the day off from school. My friend keeps another little girl who is Tristin-Grace's age. The girls met at Vacation Bible School last year and got together frequently over the summer. Since school started, this has been their first opportunity to get together (the girl lives in a neighboring town and attends school in another district. Their days off don't always coincide).

I decided to take Teagan, Annie, Taryn, and Ruthie out to lunch for a treat since it was just us "girls." We rarely eat out for lunch, and since I've been doing my once-a-month-cooking, we hadn't eaten out for supper in a while, either. I phoned TJ to see if he minded, and he agreed to meet at McAllister's Deli (a yummy favorite of mine!).

Over lunch I questioned TJ about the plan for dinner that evening. Earlier in the morning I mentioned to Thomas that I wanted to go eat dinner at a favorite Japanese restaurant. He responded in a strange way, saying we had to go to the Olive Garden. He quickly recovered, giving reasons to support his claim. But, I was suspicious. My suspicions were dropped, however, when TJ said we could go eat wherever I wanted.

The girls and I went home after lunch and the afternoon went on. I did my usual routine of laundry, dishes, etc. The boys and Tristin-Grace arrived back home about 4:30p, and Tristin-Grace asked if my friend was here. I gave her a puzzling look while Thomas got really angry. I quickly told her to stop talking and tried to defuse the situation with Thomas. Although I had no idea what she was talking about, I began to again think they were planning something. I asked Thomas if I needed to change (I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt- not exactly "nice" clothing). Without saying a word, he nodded his head yes.

About 10 minutes later, I was getting the kids ready to go. I had just sat down to feed the baby when my phone rang. It was my friend Chelsea (from Ohio) calling to wish me a happy birthday. While I was talking to her, one of my kids exclaimed that my friend, Valarie, was at my house. I quickly hung up with Chelsea and tried to process what was going on. I didn't think a whole lot about Val being at the house because we had been texting back and forth earlier in the day. I knew she was going to be dropping off her son at church for a campout. I had invited her to come to dinner with us since it was just her and her husband. Although she never responded, I figured she was stopping by to either say hello or go with us.

She came inside and mass chaos broke out. Taryn had a dirty diaper, Annie had just awoken from her nap and wanted "Mommy Cuddle Time", and I was nursing the baby. Val offered to change Taryn for me and Tristin-Grace went about helping her to do so. After that was done, the kids took turns talking to Valarie and whatnot. A few minutes later I realized I hadn't seen Taryn since having her diaper changed. I called her, and at that exact moment, TJ phoned. As I was explaining to him that Valarie was at the house and that I was trying to locate Taryn, Taryn came downstairs. She was covered in body lotion. Everywhere. I hung up with him and went upstairs to bathe her.

In the meantime, TJ arrived home. I have no idea what was said between him and Val since I was up in the bathroom with Taryn, but when I came down, he sent me off to dinner with her. I was again suspicious of a (family) party because I heard TJ tell Annie we were going out to eat. When Valarie and I left the house, she drove me to Target. We shopped for about an hour (which was so nice because I didn't have the kids with me- I could actually look at stuff). As we left the parking lot, Val asked me if I minded going to the Olive Garden for dinner since it is located just across the street. Of course I said "No", and I was extremely suspicious.

As she pulled into the parking lot, it was PACKED! She circled the lot 4 or 5 times looking for a parking spot. I carefully looked too, but not for a spot. I was looking for my truck. I was expecting TJ and the kids to be inside waiting to surprise me. I never saw it. I began to think they parked somewhere else so I wouldn't see the truck. Finally Val suggested we park across the street at another restaurant and walk over.

Once inside, she spoke to the hostess and we were told to go back. I knew then something was up because there were so many people in the lobby area; the wait was probably an hour or more. Walking back to our table, I fully expected to see TJ and the kids. I was pleasantly (overwhelmingly!) surprised!!

It has been a long time since I've celebrated my birthday with friends, and this year TJ and Thomas planned me a HUGE surprise party. At the table were close to 20 women, each special to me in her own way. Some I have known for years, others I am in the process of getting to know better. My eyes filled with tears immediately because I know what a sacrifice it was for each of them to be there that night. Not just in terms of money, but in arranging for childcare with their husbands, planning a meal for their families' in her absence, and of course of time spent away from their family. (One friend who was there hadn't seen her husband all week because he had been out of town. He had just arrived back in Charlotte that evening. Another friend was invited to a get-together at another church member's home. She explained the situation and decided to come to dinner with me. In a wheelchair because she is recovering from foot surgery. Driven there by her husband because she can't drive yet. A third only stayed for a short time because her son was coming to visit for the night. She needed to get home to make a late supper. It is this kind of friendship that brings tears to my eyes). We all enjoyed each other's company and yummy food.

One friend did attend the dinner at the church member's home. (TJ unknowingly scheduled my party this same night. I am grateful for the understanding of this church member as there was obviously a conflict of interest and some guests were forced to "choose"). She had already committed to attend the dinner, so we made plans for lunch on another day. She and I "celebrated" my birthday this past Monday. I am secretly glad she wasn't able to attend because we were able to sit and talk over lunch, uninterrupted, for more than 2 hours. Had she been there, neither of us would have been able to have that kind of conversation simply because of the number of women who were there.

For me, this birthday will always be a cherished memory. I spent most of my life feeling alone, like the "odd man out" whenever it came to friends. I moved around so much and cliques had been formed long before I arrived to a new city or town. I had friends, but I didn't allow myself to get close to them because I knew I would probably be moving away soon enough. Although I stayed in the same town from 8th grade through high school, it was difficult for me to really find my niche. I did, but in some ways I was still an outsider. When I joined the Air Force, I worked in aircraft maintenance. That is not a typical "woman" job so there were few women for me to befriend. Of the couple friends that I did make, one moved away and we lost touch, and the other now lives in Hawaii (hi Andrea!!). It's rather difficult to maintain a close friendship when the distance is so far apart.

Looking back, I should have known TJ and Thomas were up to something, but my mind is so consumed with other "stuff" on a daily basis that I didn't think much of what I noticed. For instance, I caught Thomas putting away our church directory a couple of weeks earlier. I questioned him about why he had it, but once he answered me, I forgot all about it. Another time, I wanted to see an invitation to a birthday party my boys were invited to. He was being weird about letting me hold it, and TJ stepped in and said Thomas had written down some birthday gift ideas for me on the back. Again, I didn't push the issue and let it drop. Later I found out Thomas had really used the back of the invitation to write down RSVP's for my party.

As far as a family celebration, we went the next evening to the Japanese restaurant.

It was a multi-day, multi-way birthday celebration that will never be forgotten. To those who celebrated with me, you will never know how precious you are to me. I love you all!

{Closer to God}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 15 Jan 2014 21:25:00 +0000

God desires to have an intimate relationship with His children, and ashamedly I found myself too busy and distracted to take time for Him. As a mom of young children, including an infant, sleepless nights are par for the course. In the past, I didn't have any trouble waking early to spend time alone with the Lord, reading my bible and praying. However, the past 18 months or so, I find myself tired all.the.time. I go to bed with good intentions, setting my alarm to ring well before the children wake. But, after waking 2, 3, or even 4 times each night, morning comes too quickly. I sleep until the last possible moment before having to wake up to get the kids ready for the day. Alone time with God will have to wait until later....

When I participated in my church's Ladies' Bible Study, I would find time to complete the weekly assignments, albeit most were rushed and more to "get them done" than to learn and grow as a Christian. This (school) year, I decided not to participate simply because our lives are busy enough. Although Bible study is good and I enjoy participating, I had to simplify my life in order to be a better wife, mom, and home manager. However, I missed learning about God through the various weekly lessons and discussions. I bought a devotional to do on my own while my kids were napping. The problem: as soon as I would sit down to do it, I would either A) fall asleep or B) the baby would wake up and I'd be trying to feed her while flipping through my Bible and holding my spot in my devotional book. Good intentions, but I constantly felt defeated.

My resolution for this new year was to grow closer to the Lord and to make my relationship with Him a priority. Years ago (10 now!) I participated in a MOPS group. I received encouragement as a wife and mother through many of the publications put out from MOPS International. A friend of mine shared Known & Loved: 52 Devotions from the Psalms by Caryn Rivadeneira, a new devotional that her MOPS group was doing this year. I decided to try it since it was available in an electronic format. I figured that I could read the devotional on my Kindle and use the bible app (through Blue Letter Bible) to read the scripture reference, all while feeding the baby (if my quiet time corresponded with her feeding time) and without having to flip through multiple pages of multiple books. It's been wonderful!

Some of what I am sharing below are paraphrases from the book, but most are my own realizations as I learn more about the character of God. Think of them as my "notes in the margin." The "Thought for today" portion is my own summary of the actual devotion written in the book. By summarizing the day's reading, I am able to meditate on a specific attribute of God all day long.

I am crediting the author, Caryn Rivadeneira, because it was her writing that prompted my thinking and helped me apply the truths behind what I was reading. More importantly, I want to thank the Lord for His word and all that He reveals in it. This study and study method has proven to be life-changing, and already my relationship with Him has grown stronger as a result of me better knowing Who God is. My hope and purpose in sharing is that these daily "thoughts" and bits of scripture will bless and encourage someone, just as they did me. Print them and hang them on your refrigerator as a reminder of the PERFECT attributes that make up our great Creator, God the Father.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 1-

If I say, "My foot slips," Your mercy, O LORD, will hold me up.
In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul. ~Psa. 94:18-19

Shared about my crazy anxiety a couple of weeks ago, had a Sunday School lesson about it a few days after that, and read these verses today during quiet time. Coincidence? I think not...

Thought for today: God is with me, even when I am feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

Day 2-

I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustained me. ~Psa 3:5

Thought for today: God sustains me. He carries me when I do not have the strength or ability to do so on my own (for whatever reason- exhaustion, illness, heartache, loss). God sustains me.

Day 3-

I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry. ~Psa. 40:1

The LORD has heard my supplication; The LORD will receive my prayer. ~Psa. 6:9

Thought for today: God hears us. He hears us even when we can't put the words together to speak and only tears fall. And not only does He hear us, He listens.

Day 4-

For You are my rock and my fortress; Therefore, for Your name's sake, Lead me and guide me. ~Psa. 31:3

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father's hand. ~John 10:27-29

Thought for today: God protects us. As The Good Shepherd, He protects us from harm, the storms of life. God protects us.

Day 5-

My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness And Your salvation all the day, For I do not know their limits. ~Psa. 71:15

Thought for today: When we tell others our stories- our blessings and hardships, our successes and failures, our fears and doubts- we share the many ways God has worked in our lives. Our stories share, and our lives show, what God has done for (in) us.

Day 6-

For the LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations. ~Psa. 100:5

This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. ~Lam. 3:21-23

These verses are special to me. After I miscarried the twin, I seriously doubted God's goodness... and love to me. God used these verses, and many others, to prove to me otherwise.

Thought for today: God is good and He is faithful to His people. Even (especially!) in the difficult times. God is compassionate by giving us new mercy EVERY day. We are not consumed (overtaken) by our situation because of God's mercy on us.

Day 7-

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. ~Psa. 139:13-14

Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father's will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. ~Matt. 10:29-31

Thought for today: The Creator of it all knows us: our thoughts and fears, our hopes and dreams, our strengths and weaknesses. When you pull the loose strand of hair off your shirt, God knows exactly how many remain on your head. God knows us, and we are valuable to Him.

Day 8-

...I am with you always, even to the end of the age. ~Matt. 28:20

...I will never leave you nor forsake you. ~Hebrews 13:5

Thought for today: God is with us. Whether we are moms who stay at home, dads who work and travel, or anyone in between, God Himself has promised to be with us each and every step of the way.

Day 9-

My son, keep your father's command, and do not forsake the law of your mother. Bind them continually upon your heart; tie them around your neck. When you roam, they will lead you; when you sleep, they will keep you; and when you awake, they will speak with you. ~Prov. 6:20-22

Thought for today: Our faith, most notably the ways we display it, affects not only our own lives, but the lives of those around us. Especially as a parent.

Day 10-

Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city,

the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep. ~Psa. 127:1-2

Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall. ~Matt. 7:24-27

Thought for today: Unless Jesus is my foundation, all I do is in vain. God has used motherhood to change me, to strengthen my foundation in Him.

Day 11-
I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old. Which we have heard and known,
And our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, telling to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done. ~Psa. 78:2-4

For the enemy has persecuted my soul; he has crushed my life to the ground; he has made me dwell in darkness, like those who have long been dead. Therefor my spirit is overwhelmed within me; My heart within me is distressed. I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your works; I muse on the work of Your hands. ~ Psa. 143:3-5

Thought for today: When we share our experiences, both the good and the bad, we help others (and ourselves in the process) to see God's hand and purposes unfolding in our lives. It should strengthen our ability to better trust Him and increase our faith.

Day 12-
Your hands have made me and fashioned me; give me understanding, that I may learn Your commandments. ~Psa. 119:73

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. ~Psa. 119:105

Thought for today: Keep on keepin' on. You don't know who God has ordained for you to meet or how He is going to use your experiences, even the seemingly mundane ones, to encourage those who cross your path....

Day 13-
I thought about my ways, and turned my feet to Your testimonies. ~Psa. 119:59

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ~Rom. 5:8

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. ~Rom. 8:28-29

Thought for today: God created us with the ability to make choices (called free-will). In spite of our bad choices, He still loves us, will forgive us, and will use our mistakes for good. To loosely quote Jim Berg, "Even though we may choose to go against God's revealed will for our lives, we can never go outside of His sovereign will."

{Once A Month Cooking}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 12 Jan 2014 03:37:00 +0000

If you are like me, you eat the same meals for supper on a regular basis. I call this a "dinner rut." I have been in a dinner rut for a while, and I posted on Facebook that I was looking for new recipes to try. In response to my plea, my amazing sister shared that she was preparing to do a major cooking spree. She shared her plan and gave me some tips, and I decided to research the idea to see if it was something I could do, too.

I began by checking out the book Once-A-Month Cooking by Mimi Wilson and Mary Beth Lagerborg from my local library. I read the first chapter to understand the premise behind the book, and I was hooked! The book was a huge help because it provided two 1-month meal plans, two 2-week meal plans, shopping lists, recipes, and cooking day assembly instructions. I originally planned to start with a 2-week cooking cycle to get a feel for doing so much cooking at one time, but decided to go ahead and extend it to a 1-month plan.

As suggested in the book, I did all of my shopping in one day and spent the next morning chopping vegetables.(I love that the recipes include LOTS of fresh veggies and herbs- something I don't use nearly enough but have started using more as a result!) The biggest change I made from the book was that I prepared the meals for freezing as I could fit them into my schedule. If you follow the book, the cooking day is almost an entire day spent in the kitchen, preparing meals and assembling them in a specific order to maximize cooking/prep time and minimizing time wasted. That is a fabulous idea, but with 7 kids and homeschooling, it surely isn't feasible for me! It took me about 10 days to prepare 30 meals. After including a night for leftovers each week, I ended up with enough meals to last for 6 weeks.

I loved the book so much that I bought my own copy from Amazon. I love that the meals are already planned out, the shopping lists are included, and the recipes are easy to follow. Speaking of the recipes, they include instructions for preparing up to the point of freezing, and then for preparing on the day it's to be eaten. The book also includes additional recipes for breads, side dishes, and more.

As we consume meals, I have been preparing other meals to replace them. None have been from the book but rather recipes I've been wanting to try. By preparing meals strictly to freeze, I've gained some knowledge on how to freeze meals and what types of meals freeze well. I have made an additional 2 weeks worth of meals. It has been so nice knowing not only what was for dinner, but that I had the meal made already. It has eliminated the last-minute scramble of trying to prepare something from a hodge-podge of ingredients or planning a meal only to find out I was missing an ingredient in the midst of preparing it. But, the best part is that I am cooking more from scratch as opposed to semi-prepared foods with added *stuff* like preservatives and unnecessary sugar.

I am looking forward to our next break from school so that I can do some more marathon cooking days (when I say marathon, I mean prepare 3 or 4 meals in one day, not 30 like in the book!). I want to try the next 1-month cooking cycle for some more new recipes. It has been fun to try new recipes and improve my skills in the kitchen. I have made homemade bread and yeast rolls, pizza dough, a version of "Shake-n-Bake", lots of soups from my own chicken stock, marina sauce, and so much more! As I have gained confidence in my cooking (based on the ease of the recipe and the response of my family after eating it), I have expanded my "freezer recipe" search to include other sources. There are so many options that I have opened myself up to, and it all started with this little book...

I hope it blesses you, too.....

{Some Kind of Crazy}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 28 Dec 2013 20:36:00 +0000

Do you see this? It's a tent my kids made in the back half of our playroom. You are probably thinking, "Oh,that's fun. I remember doing that when I was a kid" or "My kids [used to] do that!" And for them, it is fun. It's a critical part of their development- they learn about creativity, teamwork, and some of the laws of physics. But for me, it induces feelings of anxiety to see it. My heart beats a little faster and I can feel my blood pressure rising. I hate every second it's up, and it takes every ounce of self-control I can muster to not make them tear it down and clean it up.

Why do I feel so overwhelmed and out-of-control whenever the kids build forts or even get all of their toys out at one time? It's not because I'm a "Neat Nick" or anything like that, because I'm not; I have my fair share of clutter. I just cannot stand messes, and at the risk of sounding all "psychological," I think it goes back to my childhood.

If you know me personally or have followed my blog, then you know I had an unusual childhood. We moved a lot, actually seven times between grades 3-8 (ages 8-13). We moved a few times before that and a couple of times after, but the main bulk was during my elementary and middle school years. Each move meant packing up our house and unpacking in another. If you have never had to make frequent moves, then you cannot relate to the feeling of knowing that you MUST start over: new town, new house, new school, new friends. It can be difficult and scary, especially for a kid. Don't get me wrong, I clearly see the Lord's hand throughout my life, but as a child, moving was a dreaded task.

How does moving relate to my insane inability to tolerate messes? Whenever we moved anywhere, I never had a say in it (not that I should have, just to be clear). But, after a while, it got really old. Since I couldn't control the situation I was facing (moving), I tried to control what I could (organizing my stuff). To this day, whenever I am feeling overwhelmed or anxious, my gut reaction is to get organized (wash the dishes to organize the kitchen, fold laundry to organize the living room, have the kids clean up their rooms so they are organized). I make my bed at least 28 out of 30 days in a month, even if I am running late. It calms me. It probably seems crazy, but again, if you know me well, you know I share my struggles in hopes that it encourages another (or at the very least normalizes the feelings others may be experiencing).

As Christmas approached, I began to feel anxious about the ensuing mess that happens after opening presents. I'm not talking about the wrapping paper, but with "stuff" cluttering the floors of the living room because it hasn't found a place to be put. It happens every year, but this year it was worse. I think there are a couple of reasons for that.

First, I spent almost a month from mid-May to mid-June purging every space in our house, including the attic. TJ knocked down walls in our living/dining room and had to install a huge load-bearing beam in the attic. In preparation for that project, he emptied the contents of our attic into our bedroom to remove some of the weight on the trusses. He then re-did our floors in our main living space, so all the furniture was moved into the playroom. (As a side note, I left with the kids and spent a week in Ohio. There is no way I could live here while my house was upside down during the floor project!) Before putting everything back, I went through to decide if it was something we needed or wanted. That purge was the catalyst behind doing the rest of the house. We donated boxes and boxes of items to various people and places. I seriously could have filled a moving truck full of stuff! Items included clothes, toys, games, gadgets, electronics, and more. The thought of bringing items back into the house, although in the form of Christmas presents, caused anxiety.

Second, the shear number of gifts we all receive is overwhelming. That is a good thing- it means we are not lacking in any area! But again, trying to find space to put everything so it's not finding a permanent "home" in my living room is a daunting task. Some gifts the kids can only play with if they are supervised (contains small pieces, is permanent marker, etc) so I can't simply say, "Go put this away in your room." Other toys the kids deem as "special" and want to keep them for themselves. That entails finding a special place to keep it where no one will bother it (mainly Annie & Taryn). That, too, can be a time-consuming task.

So now that I've shared my insane need for organization, don't judge. We all have our little quirks and this one is mine. I have a feeling I am not alone.... :)

{A Worthy Walk}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 10 Dec 2013 19:16:00 +0000

I will admit I don't spend as much time in my bible as I should. However, I make it a point to pray as soon as I am alone with the Lord in the morning, which is usually while getting ready for the day. I try to pray through scripture because it helps me to meditate on verses I already know and is more than just "asking" for things to be done.

One of the verses I pray through each day is Ephesians 4:1-3.

It says,

"I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

As I was praying that the Lord would help me to walk worthy of my calling, I began to think about what exactly my calling was. The verse is speaking to brothers and sisters in Christ, that we walk (act) in a way that pleases Jesus and honors His sacrifice on the cross. But it goes deeper than that, I think. I personalized it even more to mean my calling as a wife, and of course as a mother. Am I treating my husband and children in ways that please Christ? Am I really living up to being a godly wife and mom? There are women out there who were not called to be wives and mothers. Am I cherishing my roles as I should? Ashamedly, not all the time! What about my calling as a daughter, friend, sister, and neighbor? Am I doing my best to fulfill those roles in a Christ-like way? Again, I fall short.

I sat down and wrote out a list of things that I could do/change to truly walk worthy of my calling. The first thing was to "put off" my desires and "put on" the Fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-24). While I also pray those verses each day, it is very easy for me to live in the flesh and not rely on the Lord's strength for patience, endurance, gentleness, etc, particularly at the end of the day when I am tired and ready for a break from the kids. But, as I often tell my kids, doing the right thing isn't always easy...

I won't go into the details regarding the rest of my list, but I am sharing this so others will perhaps examine their own hearts regarding their calling. Christmas is approaching, and with it means celebrating the birth of the Savior, the One who gave me my calling in the first place. I can think of no better time than now to reflect on and implement changes. Christ was born to die so that others could live freely in Him. If I do not crucify my flesh and live for Him daily (hourly!), then what was the purpose of His suffering on the cross?

{A Thanksgiving Blessing}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 30 Nov 2013 02:49:00 +0000

This Thanksgiving we broke tradition and hosted friends at our house instead of spending the day with family. The idea came about when our original plan of traveling to Ohio was scrapped and we heard that a family new to the area was going to be spending the day alone. It immediately brought back memories of our Air Force days, when holidays were spent gathered with close friends who felt like family. TJ and I knew breaking tradition might cause some riffs, but the Lord worked it all out for the best!

I planned and prepared in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, and when I bought the turkey, I chose the largest one I could find. We were feeding 13 people so I chose one that was 15 pounds. It would be enough for the day, but I wasn't expecting leftovers. Our guests were bringing side dishes and desserts, and I was making additional sides and desserts, so I knew we would have plenty of food for the 13 of us.

A few days before Thanksgiving, I ran into a long-time friend of mine. Our Thanksgiving plans came up in conversation, and when I heard that she and her family were planning to eat at a restaurant, my heart-strings were tugged and I invited them to join us. She accepted and we worked out details of what meal items she would contribute.

Adult table all set and ready for guests

When I informed TJ that I had invited another family of 6 to join us, he was immediately concerned about having enough food, particularly turkey. He suggested I buy a ham to go with it. I went to the store to buy one but could not bring myself to pay $1.99/lb (10 lbs was the smallest ham I found) so I returned home empty-handed. Thanksgiving day arrived and as I was putting the turkey in the oven, TJ again shared his concern over having enough food. I assured him that I had faith the Lord would work it out.

Panoramic view of the "big kid" table

I am so blessed that I was able to see the Lord work that day! The fellowship was sweet and everyone left feeling refreshed, encouraged, and genuinely thankful for a wonderful day together. But most importantly, the Lord showed His providence and presence by providing more than enough turkey for all of us! I had enough leftover for 2 additional meals for my family of 8 (since Ruthie isn't eating solids yet)! It truly was the Lord's doing!

Some of the kids before the start of the scavenger hunt

This is a Thanksgiving I will never forget. I shared this story with my children in hopes that they, too, will remember this day and see how God took care of us. He blessed us greatly not just in the physical sense of providing enough food, but in encouraging our spiritual walk with Him.

Wow!

{Relying on God}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 19 Nov 2013 21:40:00 +0000

Yesterday during our history time, the Lord allowed me to have a glimpse into my son's heart. We were learning about the prophet Amos. Although he was from Judah, God called him to go preach in the land of Israel because the Israelites had stopped relying on the Lord. As we were discussing the reasons why (wealth, peace with neighboring countries, surplus of food and supplies), he casually mentioned that he didn't rely on the Lord, either. When I questioned him further, I learned that my son (who will remain anonymous) responded that he didn't have any reason to- he didn't fight in battles (against other countries), he wasn't wandering in the wilderness, waiting to enter the Promised Land, he wasn't being ruled by a harsh king who was a direct enemy of the Lord, etc.

How did I interpret his response? Like this: he didn't know how to rely on God. I put the brakes on our history lesson and had a wonderful opportunity to explain to him what relying on God looks like. For him, as a child, it looks different than it does as an adult, but the principles behind it are the same. When he is outside playing, and comes up with [what he thinks is] a brilliant idea that involves using his dad's tools, he needs to stop and ask himself, "Is this what God would have me to do? Am I to use my dad's tools without permission?" I continued to give him similar examples and with each one, I could see the understanding show on his face. Relying on God means that you trust in His way and in His plans, knowing that they are perfect, even if God's way doesn't make sense at the time. Finally he confirmed his understanding and resolved to apply it.

Our conversation goes much deeper than just a simple dialogue at the kitchen table. It caused me to examine my own life, my own dependence on the Lord. Do my children not know what true dependence looks like because I fail to model it? When my kids are going in 7 different directions and each one has a need that has to be met at that exact moment, do I pause to pray and gain my strength from Him in order to respond in the right way, or do I respond in my own strength in the wrong way? That was a humbling thought, and one that I have not taken lightly.

As the days pass and my time with my children at home shortens, I pray that I do model my dependence on the Lord in all areas. I am not just influencing my children, but their children and all their future generations to come.

{Bread, Anyone?}

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 20:38:00 +0000

We go through between 9-10 loaves of bread (just bread, not buns) in a month and I pay about $.97/loaf. That's a great deal but I am always looking for something better. About a month ago or so, a friend of mine shared with me an article about buying "feed trays" from bread outlets. I inquired a couple of weeks ago at my local store and to my delight, they took my information and said they would contact me when they had extras. Today they called and said they had 10 extra trays, and I agreed to purchase one tray.

I loaded up the kids and we went to the store. I went in and paid for my purchase, not really sure of how much bread I was buying. The cashier told another employee in the back of the store that I was there to pick up my tray. She told me to drive around to the first bay door and I could load it up from there. I was beginning to get nervous, still quite unsure of what I had bought.

I couldn't open both doors on the truck or the bread would have dumped all over the driveway.

This is what I bought!! It is a mix of white bread, wheat bread, hamburger and hot dog buns, bagels, and sandwich rounds. It is called a "feed tray" because the bread, all of which is still fresh and within the date stamp, is smashed and deemed "unsaleable" by store standards. The bread outlet won't even put it on their shelves and instead sell it to people to use as feed for their animals. As the boys and I were loading up, one of the employees came over and asked what type of animals we were feeding. I smiled and kindly answered, "9 humans, 5 chickens, and 2 dogs." The look on her face was priceless!

I plan to freeze as much as I can. The loaves that are really smashed we can keep in a Rubbermaid container outside to supplement the feed for the chickens and dogs. The cool weather will help keep the bread from molding, and the animals won't care about it's freshness. I also foresee lots of bread puddings, homemade croutons, and stuffing mixes. I also plan to share with others (so if you need a loaf or two of bread, let me know).

The best part- I paid a whopping $10 for everything!!