A Lil Birdy Told Me...

Last day as a teenager

2012-01-10T00:30:00.001-06:00

I think the title really says it all. It's my last day, 24 hours, as a teenager. It feels so.. surreal. I don't know what to think. Does this make me old? Am I grown up now? Should I even be blogging after drinking this much? I think the answer to all those is "probably not". So really, all I have to say is this is my last day as a teenager. Maybe I'll feel different tomorrow. Maybe not. Hopefully I'll feel like blogging about it. For now, I shall celebrate.

xoxo,
the little birdy

PROVERBS 31:10-31

2011-12-11T17:52:00.002-06:00

10. The truly capable woman -- who can find her? She is far beyond the price of pearls.

11. Her husband's heart has confidence in her, from her he will derive no little profit.

12. Advantage and not hurt she brings him all the days of her life.

13. She selects wool and flax, she does her work with eager hands.

14. She is like those merchant vessels, bringing her food from far away.

15. She gets up while it is still dark giving her household their food, giving orders to her serving girls.

16. She sets her mind on a field, then she buys it; with what her hands have earned she plants a vineyard.

17. She puts her back into her work and shows how strong her arms can be.

18. She knows that her affairs are going well; her lamp does not go out at night.

19. She sets her hands to the distaff, her fingers grasp the spindle.

20. She holds out her hands to the poor, she opens her arms to the needy.

21. Snow may come, she has no fears for her household, with all her servants warmly clothed.

22. She makes her own quilts, she is dressed in fine linen and purple.

23. Her husband is respected at the city gates, taking his seat among the elders of the land.

24. She weaves materials and sells them, she supplies the merchant with sashes.

25. She is clothed in strength and dignity, she can laugh at the day to come.

26. When she opens her mouth, she does so wisely; on her tongue is kindly instruction.

27. She keeps good watch on the conduct of her household, no bread of idleness for her.

28. Her children stand up and proclaim her blessed, her husband, too, sings her praises:

29. 'Many women have done admirable things, but you surpass them all!'

30. Charm is deceitful, and beauty empty; the woman who fears the Lord is the one to praise.

31. Give her a share in what her hands have worked for, and let her works tell her praises at the city gates.

While I'm far from a straight-laced Catholic, though I do partake in many of the "stereotypes" that have come to be associated with Catholicism (not disgusting ones, mind y'all), this passage from the Bible ..warms my heart, you could say. Obviously everyone translate the Bible in their own way, but someone very special to me asked if I would explain it to him. Honestly I could have easily said "The perfect wife is a hostess in the living room, a cook in a kitchen, and a whore in the bedroom", but that's doesn't exactly cover all of the bases found in Proverbs 31:10-31. So here goes nothing.

[Side note: I'm no expert in this whole analyzing thing, so don't think I'm trying to deface the word of our Lord. I'm not doing that at all. If your opinions differ from my own, I ask you to please comment below and tell me what you think this means.]

I like to think that the beginning of this passage is basically saying that while sure there are many women out in the world, only a few are actually "gems". Perfect, wonderful, everything a wife should be. This woman will do everything in her power to please her husband, and give him beautiful and healthy children as well as a happy home to come home to. She'll do her best to keep him content and satisfied. She wakes early and goes to sleep late so the house is clean, and there's food on the table. She's a hard worker. Any dream she so desires will become her goal, and she will succeed. She's not afraid to get dirty to get where she wants. She cares for everyone, even those whom are not her family. Her husband is an important man, so her being perfect as a wife is always the talk of the town, but that's no matter, for that's exactly what she wants to be. She is strong and confident in herself and isn't afraid to let that be known. She's the best of the best of the best. She is God fearing, and she deserves just as much, if not more, than she has given.

This is something I strive to live up to, and will continue to do so long after I'm married. I firmly believe that every man should consider his wife to be a Proverbs 31 woman, but that isn't always the easiest thing to do for a man. It's the woman's job to ensure her husband's happiness. And maybe I'm old fashioned, but I truly believe that in my own heart.

The Best Kinds of Role Models

2011-12-03T13:11:00.000-06:00

I was just tweeting for fun today, not really expecting my role model (Courtney Kerr [@thecourtneykerr]) to EVER in my wildest dreams actually respond to me! But she did, as seen in the picture to the right of this typing. I actually have her blog being sent to my RSS Feed on my BlackBerry. I don't think that's weird, is it? I'm hoping that by reading her posts, some part of her fashionista abilities will one day be absorbed by my body so that I don't look like a bum on most days that I get up and get dressed to go do something.

This was like.. My most amazing dream come true. Well sorta. I never would have expected it to happen. I didn't even think about trying. Still, I was so excited. I don't know how much yall even know about Courtney Kerr, but she was on Most Eligible Dallas on Bravo (which, of course, I never missed an episode. I died to get to see her outfits every week.) What I love even more about her? She uses tumblr: http://whatcourtneywore.tumblr.com/. HOW MANY CELEBS DO YOU KNOW THAT DO THAT. AND OFTEN? I know zero. At least I never cared to find out if any did, cause for the most part "famous" people annoy the shit out of me. Courtney Kerr though? Hell to the no. I swear if I lived a few hours farther north and had a little tiny bit of any kind of fashion sense, her and I would def be biffles. I'd continue to talk about just how amazing she is, but I don't really want to share my role model with anyone. Go find your own.

There's so much WIN about this picture that I had to post it of her. I hope it's not too creepy that I did this. But, I really love it. Wavy hair [check], chunky necklace [check], three-quarter sleeves [check], and cow hide [check]. Yep she has the whole package, at least in my opinion. Something I strive to accomplish on most days of my life. Unlike today where I'm wearing a grungy tshirt and Soffe shorts. Who cares though, I'm not going anywhere. Just studying.. I rather be romping around in some fabulous place (maybe New York City...?) wearing beautiful clothes and killer heels. Alas, my day dreams will have to wait to become reality until I'm finished with school and have those kinds of opportunities. All I know is that when I grow up, I want to be just like Courtney Kerr. But keep my red hair, of course :)

Now for my next goal: retweeting this post that goes to my twitter in hopes that maybe Courtney Kerr will actually read it, possibly subscribe to my blog, and if God is being generous, following me on twitter! Keep your fingers crossed, yall! I will be one happy camper if any of these happen.

xoxo, the little birdy.

The Holidays

2011-11-25T22:53:00.001-06:00

First of all, I'd like to start off this post with HAPPY THANKSGIVING YALL! I mean obviously yall are thankful for me... right? Ha! Just kidding. You can't fool me. We all know most of our relationships are just a friends-with-benefits status and doesn't mean much except for a little entertainment in the wee hours of the night. No, I don't mean that in a dirty way. It's just, honest to God, the simple truth.

Now the holiday season is in full swing. It's officially Christmas time (or "Winter Holiday" if I must be politically correct, friggin liberals) and you know what that means: Spending way too much money on stupid things you don't like for annoying people you can't stand. Well and being around family too. Being thankful for them and friends and your dog. At least I am. Especially my dog. She's a real cutie. And a little cuddle monkey. But you know.. in dog form.

I'm kinda disappointed that the Thanksgiving break went by so incredibly fast. I'm pretty sure the hecticness of all that happened the last few days, and the next few days, is going to require my going back to school to be the actual vacation. That seems to be the general case when I have to involve myself in family activities for more than a couple hours at a given time.

Another thing has changed that usually isn't like me. I keep spending money. And not on things I need, which if you ask Thomas is okay but honestly, after growing up with my dad being a Jew (sorry) about money, spending money on things I just want is unacceptable. Of course my spending mood is perfect for my friends that will be receiving gifts, but my poor dear bank account isn't so happy. I'm doing my best to latch on to all the deals I can while prices are on the lower end, cause once they start rising again, the Bank of Robyn is shutting down.

So tomorrow is actually my cousin's wedding shower, but she's technically (by the government/court/whatever's law) married already. Some stupid part of my mind though it would be a good idea to volunteer to throw a bachelorette party. The hell am I going to do for that? She's married. I guess that means the plethora of strippers I had planned are out. Darn it. Maybe a spa day and getting drunk on mimosas. That sounds like my kind of fun. But the party, yeah. I was put on the invite as a hostess, which I didn't even know about until I got that invite about a week ago. Well that's awkward. I'll just look pretty and bring beer, what more could they ask of me? :)

As the temperature grows cooler, my demeanor may become slightly icy as well. I'm looking forward to the juicy stories that are bound to get shared as Christmas grows closer. Having holidays back to back to back like this is just.. detrimental to my psychological health. First Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then New Years, then my birthday. Last New Years Eve I got pulled over by a sheriff after giving myself a black eye. I ended 2010 with a bang, which only means that I'll have to top that this year. I'm up for it, as long as it doesn't end in a hospital visit. Bad omen.

Now I'm going to go divulge in some Bud Light Lime and Ghost Adventures.

Happy Holidays, my little love muffins.

xoxo, the little birdy.

C'est la vie...

2011-11-10T01:00:00.001-06:00

Personally, I've had quite a rough day. Of course I know that it could always be worse, but that doesn't negate the fact that sometimes I just want to come home and get drunk on wine because it seemed like everything that could possibly blow up in my face, pretty much did. [Author's note: No, I do not condone excessive drinking, alcoholism, or underage drinking, give me break.] So I'm writing this because I just don't even know what to write about on BBOS right now. I'm really enjoying getting to write for them though. It's quite nice to get to report news that's BRAND NEW AND RELEVANT. I can't express this enough.

However, I recently added an RSS reader on my BlackBerry, including a "Quote of the Day". Today's quote of the day was:

"Resolve to be thyself: and know, that he who finds himself, loses his misery."

- Matthew Arnold

Last I checked I was still female, but of course yall understand what I mean. And if you don't, get off my blog. I always thought it was a good thing that I'm so fiercely loyal, but I've realized today that while it is a good thing, it also is a bad thing for other people. Maybe it's just me, because I'm also stubborn and hate not knowing all the facts, that makes this loyalty problematic at times.

Wow. So I started looking for a job at a hospital after talking with my roommates and completely forgot where I was going with this. Kinda sucks.. And it's 1am. I suppose I should sleep though. But I don't really want to. Yet I'm painfully exhausted and barely away. Ahhh I should stop here before I make a fool of myself.

xoxo, the little birdy.

BlackBerryOS.com

2011-11-08T19:01:00.001-06:00

As some of my beautiful readers may be aware, I just recently became the newest (and youngest, and most female...) blogger for BlackBerryOS.com!!! Now this may not be exciting for all, but for those of you precious people that read my blog AND are the proud owner of a BlackBerry, this is fantastic news. I'll now be blogging for two, so that means more charm and sarcasm to go around!

I got to post my very first article today, and I have to toot my own horn a little bit and say that it was pretty awesome.

If you click on the actual picture (if I did my job right) you'll be able to go directly to the website where it was originally posted! Other click right here and that'll for sure take you.

Maybe I'm a dork for being this excited, but honestly, I've always wanted my writing to be "published". And suuure my personal blog is technically being published, but it's not a legit website. People don't come here to check out important information. I don't have 70,000 members or over 10,000 Facebook and Twitter followers. Nope, that would be BlackBerryOS.com. And I am so excited to get to be apart of that. If you go there and find robyntheginger, that's me. There's four other guys writing as well, then me, the girl. I was sorta dubbed "the BBOS girl" and I can most def dig it.

Now something for your enjoyment. Just seeing it brightened my day. For that I am forever grateful.

That's all I have for now, I'm afraid.

xoxo, the little birdy.

BLACKBERRY BOLD 9900

2011-11-06T17:46:00.005-06:00

As yall may be aware, I love BlackBerry. Sure I curse at my phone every now and then because I am about as impatient as humanly possible. But I love my BlackBerry none the less. I currently have the Bold 2 (9700). For those that didn't read the last few posts, the Bold 3 (9900) was released by AT&T today and I want it.

Yes, I went to the store. Yes, I played with the phone. Yes, I refused to let anyone else near it.

I also repeatedly corrected the sales rep who was falsely informed about the BlackBerry. He had the audacity to say that the Torch 9810 was the Torch 9860. Before he could even finish his sentence, I announced that he was wrong. And they were not yet carrying the 9860. Call that rude if you must, but I wasn't the one that didn't know the phones they had in store. If you ask me, that's far more distasteful. I mean hello, the 9810 is a slider phone, touch screen and has a QWERTY keyboard. The 9860 is just all touch screen. No keyboard. How in the heck could you mix those up? Seriously...

So for your enjoyment, I have gathered what I deem to be sufficient information regarding the stats of the 9900.
For the few people that will get butt hurt, no this is not my own information. I take no ownership of it. I will give credit to the websites from which they're found, I'm merely combining what I have found.

The above picture is proof that the 9900 is now available. The original picture can be found on the CrackBerry website.

This picture can also be found on the CrackBerry website. This is information on pricing at AT&T. And it definitely isn't as expensive as I had expected it to be. Not that I'm complaining.
Buy your very own BlackBerry Bold 9900 today!

Now for the geeky (and good) stuff...

BLACKBERRY BOLD 9900:

Size

115 x 66 x 10.5 mm, approx. 130 g
Personal note: IT IS SO THIN. Kinda wide across, but not uncomfortable.

Screen & Display

2.8 inch touch-screen display
640 x 480 pixels
287 dpi resolution
LED flash notification
Personal note: I'm not a big fan of touch screen to begin with, but the screen alone being touchable, yet still having the keyboard is refreshingly enjoyable. Much easier to zoom in on pictures and websites, as well as clicking open apps when I have the phone laying down and don't care to use the trackpad.

Keyboard

Good old QWERTY keyboard
Optical trackpad
Personal note: I personally like the 9700 keyboard better, but it's by no means a bad keyboard. Typing seems to be slightly louder than before. I'd consider the keyboard to be.. Bold 9700 keyboard + Torch 9810 keyboard + more sound when typing. Voila, Bold 9900 keyboard.

1.2 GHz processor
Personal note: SO MUCH FASTER. Lovelovelove. Which, it's obvious that it would be.

Memory

768 MB of RAM
8 GB device memory
microSD slot (supports up to 32 GB cards)

Camera

5 Megapixel
720p HD video recording
Face detection
Geo-tagging
From 3.2 MP to 5 MP, hell yeah it's an even better camera. I've been told people don't actually like the camera. But I've taken some of my best pictures on my Bold 9000 and that just has a 2 MP camera.

Sensors

Accelerometer (Orientation sensor)
Magnetometer (Digital compass)
Proximity sensor

Built in GPS & aGPS

Operating System

BlackBerry 7.0 OS

Battery

1230 mAh removable/rechargeable battery
Personal note: Smallest battery yet, which I'm not happy about. Which leads me to wonder if my current 1500 mAh battery will fit into the 9900...

Connectivity

Bluetooth 2.1 + EDR support
Wi-Fi 802.11 b/g/n at 4 GHz & 802.11 a/n at 5 GHz
Tri-Band HSPA+
Quad-Band GSM/EDGE

Credit for this information belongs to CrackBerry and Phones4u.

Honestly I could barely control myself just writing all of this. From what I determined, the new Curve 9360 is suppose to be better than the Bold 9700. I can't claim that this is true or not, but if it is.. Well. That only means that the Bold 9900 is just that much more fantastic. And on top of that, only makes me want it to be near Christmas time so I can finally get my hands on a 9900 to keep for my very own self. :) Once I do get my own 9900, I'll be sure to have a post dedicated solely to the things I discover about the phone. Obviously I was unable to truly submerge myself into the 9900 while standing in the AT&T store. I might scare the employees if I just stood there for hours testing out everything..

Which brings me to my next point: IF ANYONE KNOWS WHERE I CAN BUY A WHITE BLACKBERRY BOLD 9900 COMPATIBLE WITH AT&T, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I WILL FOREVER BE IN DEBT TO YOU. Of course, the phone has to be 1) a reasonable price and 2) actually legit. Because if it's not. You will feel my wrath. And I can assure you (as well as send references who will agree) that it will not be pretty, and extremely painful. Anyways, just post a reply to this blog post with a link to said phone and I'll be your best friend.

But enough about me! I hope someone likes my blog enough to comment on here and actually voice your opinions on the new Bold 9900. Or about the white 9900 that I want. Or just to say hi!!! I like when people say hi. It's really sweet. Makes me smile and stuff... Ahem. Well. I'm going to find myself a beverage and mentally prepare for my Sunday night shows.

xoxo, the little birdy.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2011-11-02T21:25:00.001-05:00

So I don't know exactly how many of my readers have BlackBerrys. Of course being a BB abuser myself, I'd hope everyone. But I know that isn't the case. HOWEVER. AT&T is finally bringing the new BBs into stores. I'm most definitely planning on being there when the store opens because I want to try them all out before they're destroyed by the 8 year olds with sticky fingers and the 80 year olds yapping about how "back in my day, I had to walk 10 miles uphill, in the snow, with no shoes to get a message to my Maw."

Right. I don't know who all knows this. Because I find I'm slightly more obsessive than most people when it comes to new smartphones (okay let's face it, when it comes to anything new in the electronics world). This is what I know:

On November 6, 2011, the BlackBerry Bold 9900 ($199.99*) & BlackBerry Torch 9860 ($99.99*) will FINALLY be in stores. Also, on November 20, 2011, the BlackBerry Curve 9360 ($29.99*) will be added to the AT&T BlackBerry family.**
¤*These prices will vary depending on your AT&T account and/or eligibility status in regards to upgrading your phone. The listed prices are for a 2 year contract only.
¤**I take no credit for gathering this information, it can all originally be found at http://bit.ly/us6kWT as well as a sort of "rating" of the phones compared to past BlackBerrys. However, the Torch rating seems to be linked incorrectly. It's 100% touch screen though, so I see no point in even bothering to consider it. Pretty sure there are much better options when it comes to buying a touch screen phone. And unfortunately I have to admit that none of them are BlackBerry phones.

[NOTE TO MY READERS: This is my very own personal opinion. I am aware that not everyone will agree with this. In no way or form am I intending to offend anyone or anything. Do not take my opinion personally. If you do, you're stupid.]

My mother has already started the annoying habit of asking me what I want for Christmas every 93 seconds. Naturally I have begun the process of fabricating a list. The List. So far it has two things. And over the next couple weeks it'll grow exponentially. If I can even find things I *want*.

_THE LIST_
1) BlackBerry Bold 9900 (duh)
--> http://bit.ly/tMCELL
» If you have to ask why, you don't deserve my friendship. Or to read my blog for that matter.
2) Burberry The Beat (for women, Eau de Parfum, ~3.3oz)
--> http://bit.ly/tR5wPV
» I have Burberry Brit Sheer, as well as a few others, but this one is just too good to pass up.

That's all I have for now. If you're judging me for using twitter to shorten my links, by all means continue, but that doesn't make it any less of a brilliant idea!!

I'm out of words for now.

xoxo, the little birdy.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Welcome to the fork in the road

2011-11-02T12:42:00.000-05:00

So I know it's been a while. I'm definitely going to be a little rusty blog-writing-wise. Which I'm almost ashamed to admit. It's disappointing. I really love writing. And editing. Well on my own terms. Not my profs telling me to write. I mean, sure the paper or speech or presentation or whatever will be amazing, but it won't be something I'm really capable of delivering.

I don't know where I got off track with the whole blogging thing. Maybe I finally got into a pattern that was suiting the life I had drawn out for myself, but that didn't leave an opportunity to write. But is that honestly okay with me? I really don't think so. But I'm not sure about that either. I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. I'm still young, I know this. I know I have plenty of time to change my mind six billion times (okay maybe not -that- many times..). So here I am questioning everything. All the decisions I've made are suddenly not 100% for me... What if I can do more? What if I'm not pushing myself? What if I'm not giving myself enough credit? What if I could RULE THE WORLD?!

Alright I got a little carried away there. But honestly. I planned on a Bachelors of Education & Human Development in Allied Health. Then a Bachelors of Science in Nursing. Then a Masters of Science in Nursing. I'm happy with this. I'm passionate about being a nurse. Because I don't like how disconnected doctors are towards their patients. But my friend got me thinking. I could change how doctors interact with their patients! Except how do I know that'll even be possible? What if no one accepts that and I'm fought against and considered a lesser doctor than I really am? What if I want to study immunology and cure diabetes or cancer or both? I love diseases. Of every kind. What if I could develop new vaccines? Am I capable of this? How do I decide what direction to go to if I don't even know I'll succeed...

So that was just a little insight into the shit that I've been thinking about for the last few days. Always getting on the topic with my friend slash roommate way late at night, causing me basically to lay in bed imagining what my life could be like if I go down different paths.

I have a lot of things to decide. And I'm awful at making decisions. Which means I'm going to be doing a lot of research and asking more questions and being overall annoying until I decide if being a Nurse Practitioner is really what I want. Sometimes I wish life was easier, but then I realized that if it was, the experiences wouldn't be worth it.

Also if you're reading this:
1) Go to http://www.twitter.com and either,
a) Sign into your account, or
b) Sign up for an account, then
2) Follow @rawbinnn. <--- that's me.

And yeah I am on twitter all the time. Mention me, and I'll reply. Ask me to follow you, and I will. I love interaction!! If you use your BlackBerry to tweet and I can see that, a few people may even get the opportunity to have my BBM pin! Woo. But no really, follow me on twitter to have a constant flow of thoughts crossing my mind. It's totally worth the 30 seconds it takes to make an account/sign in and then follow me.

I PROMISE.

xoxo, the little birdy.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Dear Insomnia..

2011-09-21T01:47:00.000-05:00

So it's about 1:30am as I'm writing this. I went to go shower at like 12:30am after having a lovely heart-to-heart with my roomie slash good friend Becca. I showered, crawled into bed, then realized my bestest friend ever would be waking up soon. I set my alarm to just wake me up in the 35 minutes I had until then. But of course I can't sleep, cause all I'm thinking about is that my alarm won't go off and I'll miss getting to talk to my biffle. So instead here I am waiting for him. Granted I can't even sleep anyways, otherwise I wouldn't have even stayed up this late to begin with (maybe). Ah well. That's the life of me. I do have a test this evening. Which sucks. I should be getting sleep. I have to go to four classes before I have go to the class with the exam. And lemme tell you. That sucks old man balls. At this point I'll be getting about seven hours of sleep, probably less, which I'm looking forward to even less. I am positive that it'll be worth it though. I actually just heard my roommate leave her room for some reason. I figured I could possibly go say hi but that might scare the day lights out of her, so instead I decided to just stay in bed and write this blog.

I really don't even know where I'm going with any of this. My mind is just sorta racing fifty gajillion miles per hour right now. Not the best state of mind to be in when you're trying to sleep the night before an exam. I sorta feel like this is my friend right now, just letting me talk and talk with no real thoughts or opinions forming in my mind. Just lots of random babble. I hope yall can handle that. Sometimes it turns into something spectacular, but in this case I wouldn't hold your breath on that happening.

NINE MINUTES TO GO

I'm pretty much counting down right now. He'll know how to calm me down enough so I can attempt sleep again. I love that about him. Just one of the many things, really. He'll probably read this after class today or maybe before. I doubt before. Since he'll be getting ready for school. Which leads me to question if I should tell him when I talk to him in a few minutes or what until I wake up for my own classes. This is such a complicated decision, ehh. Okay not really. Of course I'm going to tell him. But also alert him to the reality that this really has no point to it at all. And now I'm being creepy because I'm just sitting here talking about him about what I'm going to tell him? Does that even make sense. Probably not. I don't even care.

Something funny did happen today though. I made fun of some people, a very broad spectrum of people, on twitter today, and a few hours later a person whose twitter name basically has to do with the group I was making fun of started following me. That was definitely a lol moment, if I may be so bold. I really don't think that could possibly be a coincidence but heyyy it's my twitter, it's my opinions, gtfo if you don't like or agree with what I've got to say. Those of you that do, more power to you. You've got a good head on your shoulders.

And Jesus, Facebook! Could you give me any more reasons to hate you and not want to you use? I didn't think it was possible. Oh but it is. I saw some statuses on my BlackBerry Facebook app, and I couldn't get the regular site onto my phone browser so I went to go try on my laptop, which was completely dead, because I let my roommate borrow my laptop charger. That may have been another reason I decided to just get up. I needed to charge my laptop and figure out what all the nonsense was about. It really is ridiculous. But apparently if you change your language to "English (UK)" everything goes back to normal. No surprise there, don't want to confuse those English folk with another new design. Just kidding. Sorta. Fights probably have just broken out of me saying that. Ah well. I've got that big pond thing that they call it to protect me, right? Plus I live in Texas. We don't like outsiders much. Especially when they threaten a good ole Southern Belle like myself.

THREE MINUTES.

Does this make me even more creepy that I'm counting down as I write all of this? Maybe. I don't care. That's how excited I am. Cause I am pretty exhausted, and I know I will be by the time I hit my fifth class for that exam tomorrow. It's going to be a long day. Thank the good Lord for caffeine.

Finallyyy one minute to go. I really am going to cry or something if he doesn't get on msn since I did say that I wouldn't be awake. But knowing him, he might try. Since I did ask for him to just leave me a cute little message. I mean, it'd be a nice surprise having me be here when he woke up, right? Why am I asking questions like I'll get a response? There I go again. Fantastic.

I'm seriously all but bouncing in my seat right now. It is officially 1:45am, Texas time, and 8:45am Netherlands time. Now just to wait for that little beep and red light flashing that signals my BlackBerry connecting me to my favorite person ever.

I know it's been barely a minute, but I definitely just messaged him on Facebook to make sure that he knew I was awake and available to talk. Which means I should wrap this up. I'll be passing the heck out immediately after our brief conversation.

xoxo, the little birdy.

THIS JUST MADE MY DAY

2011-09-20T15:44:00.002-05:00

I have reached over 1000 followers. Even better, 1111 followers! I love it! I may have sorta peed myself a little when I saw this from excitement. But don't tell anyone.. >_>

:\ this is how I feel for neglecting my blog

2011-09-20T15:40:00.000-05:00

So many of yall may know that I actually started school about a month ago. And it just came to my attention that it has been almost a whole month since I've written to yall. This saddens me greatly. But the way I see it, I'm in such a constant state of stress and frustration that if I seriously sat down and wrote about something, I'd either bore you all to tears, make your eyes bleed, cause yall to hate me, or all of the above. So obviously the only solution I could come up with was to just stay far away to keep as many readers as I can while I take a leave of absence from entertaining people I don't know across the world. I am actually feeling great comfort in writing this right now. Every few days I have a panic attack of wondering if my blog babies hate me now for lacking in the reading material department. I just want you people to know that I haven't forgotten about you! I'm always looking for fun things to write about that might give yall a good laugh. I don't know how many people follow me on twitter (@rawbinnn) which I do recommend, but if you do, you'll have noticed that it sorta seems like I mildly lost my mind in the last few weeks.

Anyways, I actually have to go study. I have two more exams the next two days that I need to study for still. Just remember that I'm determined to make yall laugh, so I will find funny things and tell you about them, but with my own spin of course. Well okay maybe not just funny stuff. But you know, things I like to write about. Humor, making you think, angry and sarcastic. Everything and anything.

However, once again I ask yall to comment below and tell me some things you'd like to hear from me!! I might not want to write about those things, but they may give me some inspiration in another way. So comment away, I'll be waiting for my BlackBerry to beep their arrival.

xoxo, the little birdy.

Wanna hear a joke? College football.

2011-08-21T16:50:00.002-05:00

Anonymous said...Write about your opinions on the scandals in NCAA football lately, and whether you feel it is endemic or a series of isolated incidents.August 18, 2011 5:42 PM

Unfortunately, I don't actually know that much about this topic. And I'm definitely not going to claim to be an expert on football, college or professional. Mostly I just dress up to support my college and scream until I cannot scream any more in the stadium and at the television in my home. I also got trapped into participating in Fantasy Football which I'm horrified to even admit, but what can I do, say sweet words and how could I ever say no?! However, my first initial opinion and reaction to this question is that they need to grow up, put their big girl panties on and get the heck over it. I'm sorry, that may be blunt, but they're being ridiculous and this has lasted just far too long.

I wouldn't say this was isolated incidents, but they're all acting like children. I guess it's hard to blame them really, football players aren't exactly the most manly of men in my opinion. Sure they're sexy and have hot bodies but they're so incredibly high maintenance! I don't even take that long to get ready. It's pretty sad.

Basically, this is what I know. [I'm sorry in advance for the excessive sarcasm.] The term I heard for this first thing is the "Ponzi Circle". Basically, one person claims to promise a 20% return, if $1,000 is invested. The person agrees, and that money is taken. Then the same thing happens to another person, but this time the money received from them is partially given to the previous person. Basically, this circle will end and it will end badly. Eventually someone will say no and then there won't be new money coming in. Retards.

Then there is the whole Florida thing. Is it just me, or does Florida just ruin everything? Apparently some college football players are being paid to play football for a university? Cool. Again: retards. Must we bribe and corrupt them so early? Can't we at least wait until they're drafted into the NFL? Like really, as if the world isn't sucky enough. Now we've got college football players being all cocky cause they're getting dirty money. NFL players are plenty bad enough with their scandals.

Now to my home territory. Apparently Texas A&M is threatening to get into the SEC because t.u. [yes, it is t.u.] is getting its own channel. This I find hilarious. Completely. Hilarious. Since there's no way to fill that channel 24/7, people are going to end up following around the players for that awful school in Austin. I'm pretty sure Mack Brown has enough issues to deal with regarding his players. I'm quite sure he doesn't want paparazzi following them around and recording their every move. Sure, it'll be a real knee-slapper to watch, but that's going to be a bitch to cover up all of the crap they do. It's bad enough as it is, remember?

Finally, I'll end this blog with saying: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not ruin college football for me. I love it. It is my life and soul during the fall. While I sadly will probably not get to go to every home game at my university, I'll still be clinging to my phone for constant updates while I'm away from the television. NFL has long since been a constant stream of fail in my opinion, so why not keep college football the way it is, instead of allowing it to follow in the professionals' footsteps. I swear I'll beg if I have to.

I hope this answers you thoroughly. (: Thanks for the question! I really appreciate it.

xoxo, the little birdy.

Bad blogging D:

2011-08-18T12:37:00.000-05:00

I'm so sorry I haven't been around as of late. It's been far too long since I wrote a blog and this depresses me slightly.

Basically I've been at my parents' house for the last week. (lol) So I'm mostly trying to keep my sanity. Plus I was at the ranch this past Saturday through Monday and lemme tell you, there's hardly any reception, let alone Internet to hook compy up to. So I'm sorry for that. I should be back soon enough. Once I'm back to my own home and in my comfort zone. I've also been lacking in any real inspiration for a blog. Which sucks right? So pleasee!! Help me out, leave a comment, something you want my own spin on? I'd appreciate it. Let's get the creative juices flowing, folks. I could use the help right now ): Hopefully once school picks up, a lot will be happening and I'll need to get back to this outlet. But we'll see. Love you, blog babies!!

xoxo, the little birdy.

Mouth says this, brain thinks otherwise.

2011-08-07T17:30:00.000-05:00

Okay gentlemen reading my blog, and even ladies reading it who will probably agree with most of what I've got to say. You know those little comments girls make that are just ..loaded? awkward? hard to respond to? Yeah, I'm here to explain why girls say them. I may be breaking some female version of the "bro code" [whatever the f that is.. if it's even real] but I'm not really into the whole girly friendship thing, so I'm not worried. Come at me, bitches, I can take you. I posted the link to the article I got this list from under the title, so feel free to click on that to find out what the original author said about why girls shouldn't say these things. Ha.

#1. "My ex did the exact same thing!"
lolz? Yeah okay this kinda sucks to say. Depending on what it follows. If you just did something stupid, and a girl says that, it means you better not do it again if you know what's best for you. That guy is her ex for a reason, you know. This is kind of a difficult one. It really is all situational. Sure that may not be a word, but it is now. Now if the girl said it because you did something good and she looks excited, then keep doing it! That guy was lucky enough to be her boyfriend in the first place, you know.

It's probably confusing, yes. But you're going to have to go off of her emotions and facial expressions and whether or not she slaps you. I'm sorry to say fellas, but you're going to have to do a little work when it comes to this one. Good luck! [hahaha]. It may sound like she's just strictly comparing the two of yall. Why is that a bad thing? Guys look a other girls all the time and talk about them when they're with their buddies. Some guys are stuck on their exes too. Just take it with a grain of salt, and be a better guy than the last one. Aka, don't be a douche.

#2. "Helen's pregnant ..Shhh!"
Riiight. What's the big deal? Would you rather a girl never told you anything that was going on with her life or share things that were troubling her? I would rather be kept in the loop rather than awkwardly walk in on a telephone call where your girlfriend immediately starts babbling loudly about her period or her split ends to try to confuse you enough so you don't think something is up. Even if that is so incredibly obvious.. Do girls really even talk about that stuff? Possibly. I mean, okay. Just ask for the basics, not the details, especially if one of your guy friends is dating this girl. We both know yall shouldn't go and tell your friend about this if you wanna sleep in the bed tonight, so just go with that.

[I'm skipping some of these cause they're just dumb and I don't really know how to explain them. I'm bad at this whole girl stuff. It's disgusting, okay.]

#4. "Do you think she's pretty?"
Oohhhh this is a toughy. But don't freaking lie. If you think she's pretty, say so. "She's attractive..." BUT FOLLOW IT UP WITH A COMPLIMENT TO YOUR GIRL. "...but no one could ever compare to you." Who the heck cares if it sounds retarded and your guys will laugh at you. Lying would be worse. Your guy friends aren't the ones that you go home to, boys. Once you say it, stick with it. Don't change your compliment, especially. That just makes it sound like you're lying and just trying to cover up for the fact that you think the person is ball busting hot. I mean, of course you think that. We know that. We wouldn't ask that if we didn't agree. Same goes with if a girl says "Ohmygosh this girl is so hot." Go ahead and agree mildly, and throw in a compliment to her. Girls are taught to hate themselves because of all the model/celebrity/movie star fake hotness. Sometimes we just need the reassurance that our natural bodies are better looking than their air brushed perfect ones that we see daily. Because seriously, we are compared to them every day. We're taught that if we don't look just like them, no one will like us, etc. Blah blah blah. Mildly agree, then compliment. Don't use "hot, sexy, gorgeous, beautiful" on the girl we're asking about, use "attractive or nice". It's for your own good. Your girlfriend should be the hottest,, most gorgeously beautiful girl you've ever seen (in our eyes, even if it's not true).

#5. "I'm fine" or "Never mind"
JESUS FREAKING CHRIST. If a girl says this, she does not want to talk about it right then. If you keep asking her if she's okay, she'll become increasingly agitated at you. Let her calm down and realize that it's not that big of a deal, when she wants to talk about it [if she's sane..] she will tell you. If she finally gives in and tells you what's wrong when she's still fuming, it'll turn into something far more serious than it needed to be. It's easy to tell if something is seriously bothering your girl or if she's just being an uber bitch. Did she get quiet, is her face red, is she looking down, does she look sad? Then something is wrong. She'll say she's fine, and of course she's not! But she doesn't want to cry in front of you. Something is upsetting her, but she needs to calm down before she can answer you otherwise she will cry and probably make no sense. We know guys don't like that. Now if a girl is shooting daggers at you with her eyes, looking full of herself and says she's fine, she probably just has a stick up her butt and needs a little while before she'll pull it out. Next, "never mind". Once you get her explaining what's wrong, it is not going to make sense. I recommend waiting to ask questions until she's completely done. If you start saying you're confused, or ask questions during her explanation, she'll become more upset and tell you never mind. Then things are worse. So just wait. Take it all in. Once she's done, more likely than not it will be mostly understandable. If not, well just pretend, tell her you're sorry and ask how you can fix it.

#6. "I just let one go."
Kay this is just dumb. NEWS FLASH, GENTLEMEN, girls poop. Get over it. Yall do too. She's being funny. It means she's comfortable with you. Not that she's disgusting. Unless she is obviously disgusting and you can tell by looking at her, which means that you probably shouldn't even be dating her in the first place. But if you are dating her and she's openly disgusting about everything, there's something wrong with you.. But yeah, if she's your girlfriend and yall are comfortable with each other, don't take it like she's gross, take it as she's comfortable with you. It's not a big deal.

#7. "I'll try anything once."
Of course she's going to say that. To make you happy. If she never brings it up again, it's not going to happen. If she brings it up once, your chances have increased. If she brings it up numerous times, you've hit the jackpot. Don't bring it up before her though, that'll decrease your chances.

#8. "Are you sure you're okay?"
This goes along with the "I'm fine" and "never mind". Just like girls don't want to admit something is wrong for fear of scaring you off with tears, girls are stubborn enough to want to fix things when we know something is wrong. If something is wrong, don't keep saying you're okay. Calmly say you're not okay but you're not ready to talk about it yet. It's not that difficult. Emotionless guys are not attractive. We like knowing yall have real feelings. Something you're doing is obviously making her think something is wrong though, even if you're actually okay. So if she keeps asking and you're fine, man up and act normal. You may feel normal, but she'll be able to tell something is off faster than you can.

#9. "I hate my thighs."
If she says this, it's for one of two reasons. She actually hates her thighs or she just wants a compliment. Either way, compliment her. Tell her what you like about her thighs, or whatever other part of her body she isn't comfortable with at that moment. Once again, we've grown up in the day in age where we're "supposed" to have a certain kind of body to be considered attractive. It sucks, remember that. If you want compliments in bed or about how amazing you are, you best make her feel like a freaking princess. If she feels ugly, she's definitely not going to be nice to you. Please also remember, what you see when you look at your girlfriend is more likely than not what she sees when she looks in a mirror. Unless she knows/thinks she's attractive in which case this will only happen because she wants you to acknowledge what she already knows/thinks. [Side note: I do "knows/thinks" because some chicks think they're hot, and they're sooo far from that.]

#10. "I hate your mom."
Or sister, brother, father, cousin, any family member. Are you scary attached to them? Are they mean back to her? If it's something like this, she's probably worried that you're going to listen to them about yalls relationship. That you're bringing them into your relationship. Like those evil moms that try to control how things go? Yeah, girls hate that. Dear Mommy, we're the main girl in your son's life now, shove off. Love, Girlfriend. So don't bring your mother into every little thing that goes on. Don't share every little detail with your mother. Your mother isn't dating your girlfriend. She has no opinion in your relationship, at least she shouldn't. If you and your girlfriend are serious, you need to set your mom down and tell her that, so she realizes your girlfriend [or eventually wife] will be around for a while. Your mom needs to realize that she's not the only woman in your life now. But on the same front, your girlfriend needs to realize that your mom was once the most important woman in your life. There's got to be an equal balance. They both need to respect each other. Make them both feel like they're important and they'll get along great. Most of all, don't bring up your mother in bed. Ever.

I may be wrong on some of these, I'm not afraid to admit it. I know I skipped one, maybe two. But ehhh. These are the ones I had opinions on. If you don't agree, cool, throw me a comment so we can further educate these silly boys. Hopefully these helped some guys understand the way the female brains works, at least a little bit. But please do not take this all to heart. Not every girl is exactly the same. I'm only answering these based on how I feel when I say these things. Well, if I would say them. Some I do not.. Regardless! Happy reading, blog babies.

xoxo, the little birdy.

I really love potatoes.. SWEET.

2011-08-06T22:16:00.005-05:00

I don't really know what else to say about this. It pretty much sums up the amazingness that are potatoes. I'd take a cool heart-shaped potato like that over a dozen red roses any day.. <3

xoxo, the little birdy.

Blog babies!

2011-07-30T03:01:00.002-05:00

Should you feel the need to be incredibly amused by the constant arbitrary thoughts that race through my mind, PLEASE FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER!!! @rawbinnn

I'm determined to find satisfaction in this because I'm starting to hate Facebook with the burning passion of fifty billion suns.

Remember: @rawbinnn

xoxo, the little birdy.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

ACHOO Sorry. I'm allergic to bullshit.

2011-07-29T15:48:00.005-05:00

Everyone knows about the Mean Girls. No, not the movie that everyone and their mother can recite by memory. But those girls in high school that liked to make life a living hell for anyone they considered to be beneath them. Appearance, [daddy's] money, intelligence, you name it. Everything. Of course the Mean Boys never got really mentioned. It was easy to hate girls when you're a girl. But generally, if a guy was a jerk, it never was talked about. It happened and just as quickly it disappeared like it had never happened. Personally I hated that, it was pretty shitty that that happened, but I wasn't at the top of the hierarchy to make those kinds of laws.

Now that I've been out of high school for a year, I started to realized that I'm extremely grateful to have turned out like I did. Ten years from now, the only thing those Mean People will have in more quantity than me is STDs. I didn't spend all of high school doped up on drugs and chronically drunk and/or hungover. My body still likes me. I actually paid attention and put effort into getting into college so that I'll have the money and the degree to live a comfortable life that just can't be supported by a high school diploma and a McDonald's 'salary'.

I mean really. Ten years from now, I'll be looking back at my high school classmates (not all of them mind you, just ..a lot of them) as I'm standing around at our class reunion. I'll have the life I was determined to have because I worked my ass off to get there. They'll have the life they never thought possible and looked down upon daily because somehow they thought sitting around and doing nothing was okay. News flash, daddy can't buy you everything. I may have not been the prettiest (even if plenty of people will give me hell for saying this) or the most social or slept around for attention in those four years, maybe earlier than that for some of the people, but I'm okay with that. I'm proud of it. I didn't get wrapped up in what wasn't important, and never would be. While those kids were absorbed in being popular for the time being, I read books and planned out my life so that I had an idea of how to get it, as well as how long it would take. The mere though of mentioning that I would be in school for eight years after high school would probably terrify them beyond words. Not that even that takes much.

So thank you Mean People, for making my life hell. For making me hate going to that awful high school. For making me wish that it was over already. Yall helped me realize that I am so much better than that. So whether it be those actual people that put me down or just the few that wish they could have been in that group, you can tell me that I'll never be smart enough to accomplish my goals, because you know what? The fact that you're stupid enough to believe that just proves to me that your opinions really have no merit.

This is slightly off topic, but still relevant. A few days ago, someone all but told me that there was no way that I could have gotten into the university I did (one of the best in Texas). He claimed that my dad must have bought my way in. I actually laughed at this. Granted, he's one of the most hypocritical and idiotic people (and one of the few that wanted to be apart of the 'in' crowd but just never was) but the fact that he said that was just ..crazy. I was furious, but it was hilarious. I had to calmly remind him that I'm actually smart enough to get into the best university straight out of high school without my daddy buying a library or a building to help me. I didn't need the help. So dumbass, while you go continue to work at department stores (just like I predicted) I'm going to go on to do my very best without having to bribe anyone.

So look at me now. I'm happy, healthy, my body isn't failing, I'm going to school full time to work towards the life that I deserve, I've met someone that makes me happier than I ever thought possible, but most importantly I am everything yall said that I could never be. I'm flipping off the system of the Mean People. May the whole thing crash and burn. Since some of yall will be brought to the hospital I'm working at, you should be lucky. I will be the best of the best. And even further than that, I'm going to take care of yall like nothing horrible was ever said and done to me. I'm above it all. As much as I hated it back then. I don't ever want to be that kind of person who yall seemed to think was some sort of god.

Wow this was so frustrating to write. I'm glad it's over. I'm more glad my real life is starting though.

xoxo, the little birdy.

The glass is half full, not half empty.

2011-07-27T13:27:00.005-05:00

I'm hesitant to even tell anyone about this site, because I've basically fallen in like with it. Maybe even love. And the last thing I would ever want to happen was for it to become corrupted with bullshit. It's called Makes Me Think. And it does just that, makes me think. Part of me is kinda disappointed when I go to the site every day and there's only one, maybe two new posts for me to read. But then I realized that it's not like My Life Is Average, Texts From Last Night, or even F My Life in the fact that it's not .. what's the word. Fake? Posed? Lies? Yes, all of those things and even more than that. It actually makes you think. It's actually real life stories (and I hope it stays that way).

As much as I would love to get to read fifty or more posts a day, that wouldn't have as much affect on a person. I'm sure not everyone can appreciate these kinds of stories. I've come to realize that there are a lot of people in this sad world that are incapable of feeling any real emotion. For those that may be thinking that I once said, "I don't like showing emotion", so I must be unable to actually feel emotion, that is so far from the truth. It's really pretty hard to explain, but I'm going to try. I have such a diverse range of emotions that I feel every day. Happy, sad, sarcastic, tired, angry, rinse and repeat. Normally it isn't gradual changes in mood. My aunt once explained it to me how she sees it while we waited for a train in Boston, she said that there's a green, yellow, and red zone for every [normal] person. Green is good, red is bad, yellow is in between. She told me that I do not have a yellow zone. There's no buffer zone for me. It's instant. The littlest things affect me. Which is also part of the reason that I do my best to not show anything at all. It's really easier for some people to understand that, then for them to realize that I'm ... sensitive. I (dontyoudarerepeatthis ..even if I'm putting it on the Internet) actually get choked up during some songs on the radio. For reasons I still to this day do not understand.

Sometimes these posts on MMT hit closer to home than others. I've had a few make me tear up. A few I didn't even understand because I couldn't possibly imagine how I would feel. A few make me happy in a weird kind of way. Some just give me goosebumps. But they all cause me to feel and most importantly, think about something other than myself and that's what some people need. To get their minds off of their own lives. A lot of people tend to get so absorbed in their own situations that they forget that sometimes there are actually people that are worse off, or had really terrible things happen to them, that when you sit back and evaluate your own life, you realize that getting a B on a test or missing the bus really isn't that big of a deal. Just remember, when you think your life is hard, there's probably someone else nearby that has it even that much harder. When life seems bad, don't forget that it could always be worse.

xoxo, the little birdy.

I've got an extra hand

2011-07-18T14:15:00.004-05:00

I want to start this post out by saying I may sound slightly bitchy, but I really am not trying to be. Only saying what happened, how it happened. I wasn't offended, I'm not upset. Just stating the facts.

So I got out of class and walked to my bus stop, it's about 11:36am. My bus shows up about 11:42am. Suddenly I hear this sound. It sounds like a banshee. Literally. I'm so engrossed in my book, that I look up confused for a moment, trying to figure out who had the nerve to interrupt my reading so rudely. Eventually my reading haze clears and I spot this lady laying sprawled out on the ground. In the road. With her bike tangled in her legs. She's still hollering like she's bleeding out. So I slap my book shut and fling it in my bag as I'm walking quickly over to the lady. I'm trying to take in what's happened before I get there so I don't have to ask too many questions. It seemed to be pretty straightforward. Her purse got caught in her wheel and the bike flipped over.

The guy sitting a little ways away from me had gotten up to follow as well, just as a man had crossed the street and another student had jogged over to her. This is what we do. We're kind. It's the kind of people that we like on our campus. Some places you would find people that didn't even stop to try to help her. But a few of them have gone out of their way to help her. I, personally, along with the other guy sitting near me, are taking the chance of missing the bus that only comes every 30 minutes to help her out.

I'm standing there, trying to calm her down. She keeps repeating herself, but eventually we get her standing. She says she's calling her supervisor to tell them that she won't be able to work. I'm thinking this is a bit of an overkill, but I'm not saying anything to her just yet since she might be worse than I realize. However, she kept saying her leg hurt. Then limped on her other leg. Now I'm just frowning. So she calls her mom, instead of her supervisor, to get a ride. Even as I'm asking her to just please walk slowly over to the bench so she can sit down. I swear she's ignoring me. But I'm patient, and slowly cross the street with her bag, while two guys help her walk and another rolls her bike. A nice man also backed his pickup truck to us to see if he could help, for which I was grateful. So I explained what happened and he watched as we took as best care of her as we could.

Unfortunately, our bus showed up about then. I walked as slow as I could after setting her things down where she would be put, but eventually I had to turn and walk quickly to my bus. The guy and I both felt awful for leaving her. But she had a ride, she wasn't bleeding, and there were other people. I still feel bad. I don't like doing that.

Even though she didn't thank us, or even really acknowledged that people were helping her, being there and having the choice to go to her aid made me feel amazing. That's the feeling I long for in life. Being able to help someone once again shows me that it is my passion to be a nurse.

Maybe what I'm trying to say is this. Just because you don't get anything in return for helping someone, does not mean it doesn't matter. While the lady didn't know who I was, what I was studying, why I even helped her, just the fact that I did do something for her may have an affect on her one day. Maybe she'll do the same thing one day and help someone in need. On and on. The cycle continues. I hope so, at least. So I'm going to keep on helping even if it's only giving and I'm not getting anything back. Or rather, getting anything back from that person. Because I always get something back. Whether it my own feeling of doing something right, or seeing the happy faces of the person's closest relatives and friends, or better yet, seeing the bewildered faces of onlookers who were too afraid to help. It all matters.

No matter if I get thanks, I'll know I did something in a world where no one cares about anything but themselves. And that's the biggest gift of them all. Next time someone needs a hand, lend them yours, you never know when you might need help of your own.

xoxo, the little birdy.

Definition for happiness: state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

2011-07-18T13:16:00.003-05:00

You may know that I'm Polish, Irish, and Catholic. Or in other words, I'm more than built for having a huge family to continue on the string of eating, breeding, Polish/Irish Catholics. This isn't something I'm ever going to fight. It's what I want. A huge family. I want to be able to surround myself with people that I will unconditionally love because they are my own flesh and blood. This has always been a big deal to me. Being the dork I am, I've done some thinking and decided between three and seven kids would be appropriate for my desires. Yeah, you're thinking "Seven kids?!" And I'm thinking "Only seven kids?!" That's what makes me different. That doesn't even seem like many kids to me. Because that's what I want. Getting married to my best friend and the love of my life. Having kids. Watching them grow up together. Becoming grandparents. It's my goal in life.

I've always been the nurturing type, hence why I'm going to be a nurse. What better way to keep from suffocating my children and friends with care then to care for other people's kids and friends. My friends always called me 'Mommy' whenever I'd start asking questions to help figure out what's wrong with them and the best way to fix the problem. I use to find this insulting. I even tried to stop caring so much. But it felt wrong to do that. So I just decided to wait until I found the person that let me do that and have it not be a problem for him. Anyone that lets me ask a continuous flow of questions and answers them without a second thought has to be good for me.

Now to kids. Children. Pregnancy. The whole thing gets me excited. Just the thought of being pregnant and I'm bouncing in anticipation. I'm not even taking into account the pre-pregnancy ritual. I always seem to completely forget about that (I get reminded of that on occasion..). Which is funny. And I then feel bad when I do remember. But babies. Feeling a baby move inside you, bringing life to the world. What greater gift is there in the world? None that I've ever been able to find. Not that I've actually had a baby of my own (yet), but it's just a feeling I have. It seems so right. Like this was the reason I was brought to earth.

Currently I'm reading Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult. When I got the book, I must not have read the cover or something. The most I took from the synopsis was that it's about music therapy. I think my aunt just told me that that's what it was about, and didn't tell me anything else. I started reading it and it starts out by going through Zoe's struggles with pregnancy. It's actually killing me a little to read this. The thought of myself not being able to have children has scared me from a young age. But I will continue to read it. I need to know how it ends up. So far it's been predictable, just based on what I've seen in the past from books and real life. But I do not know how she'll end up. I wonder if reading it may make me appreciate having kids more, or scare me more that I may be just like her. But I do know that if I don't read it, I'll always wonder, even if the book ends in a way that causes me tears.

I know this was a lot of personal information that wasn't really "necessary". But it was. In a way. The way I see it, I'm going to live life the way I want. I'm going to cherish the moments I have, and love with all my heart. Some things may not go as I plan, some things may hurt me so much I think the world will surely crush me where I stand. But what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger.

Recently I got a new charm for my James Avery bracelet. The Serenity Charm. It's a symbol of many things for me. To keep going. To be happy even when it's hard. To fight for what I want. To appreciate the things I do have. But most of all to not try to change things that I have no power or control over. I know Alcoholics Anonymous uses this poem for their meetings to help the members, but I've always loved it. For myself.

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

I've always been so serious and high strung and tried to change things that I can't. I'd feel out of control when some thing goes wrong. But I realized that there's something that are out of my hands. It took years to do this. But it's so much healthier to live life how it is, accept it the way it is, and not be unhappy if one thing goes how I did not expect it. Be grateful for what you have every day of your life, don't wish for things that aren't possible. You'll be happier. You'll be healthier. You'll change your life and see things you never saw before. So open your eyes, smile, and don't be afraid to want what you want or to be scared.

While I'm terrified of not being able to have my husband's children and bring life into this world, I know that I'll get through it. With my husband. There might be a chance he leaves me because I can't have his children, but I'll know that if he does, he wasn't right for me in the first place and maybe that's why I couldn't conceive. I just know, if it's right, it'll happen. I've learned not to fight what scares me. There's no point. Someone will get hurt. I will get hurt.

So feel. Whether it's happy, sad, angry, confused. Just feel something. That's the best thing. Show your emotions. Let people know how you feel. Remember there are some things that can't change. Some things you will never have control over. Make best of what you've got at the moment.

Be happy. Live. Love. Laugh. And do all those often. For you. For everyone around you. It'll spread. You could change someone's life. Just the way I hope I've shed some light on one of yours.

xoxo, the little birdy.

Easy enough to remember?

2011-07-16T21:54:00.006-05:00

While I take no credit for this, I find it so .. moving? I'm sure that's not the right word. I mean it to only one person. But I find it could help someone explain their thought process better by sending it to the person that matters most in their life. I'm hoping it worked for me. Cause I tend to be quite the piece of work. A handful. Hard to handle. Even if he doesn't think so. Still, maybe I'll make a little more sense to

my world.

We'll see :>

xoxo, the little birdy.

Read between the lines.

2011-07-15T16:25:00.005-05:00

I did not write this, nor do I take any credit for this next segment of blog (in italics). I do however find that this relates very closely to me. I do read a lot. Okay a lot is putting it lightly. Books are my passion. I can fall into the unreality of them and get lost in them. Then when they're over, sometimes it takes me a moment to come back down to Earth and realize it wasn't real. Sometimes it makes me more sad than it does other times, it depends on the book. This next passage is the best way to get to know me, I think. It's not exactly right but the principles are all there. I hope this helps my readers get a little closer to what's near and dear to my heart. From wanting to give my kids strange names, to getting lost for hours in an author's made-up world, to having my coffee go cold because I forget about the world outside of my pages, to asking for book money more often than clothes money, and especially not being happy when I'm interrupted, this is me. Even if it doesn't begin to fully cover it :p

xoxo, the little birdy.

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve. Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow. She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book. Buy her another cup of coffee. Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice. It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does. She has to give it a shot somehow. Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world. Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two. Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries. If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype. You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads. Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

On a slightly different, yet related note. My fellow Harry Potter and all around book lover friend, Bailey, has started a YouTube channel where she will be giving book reviews. It's only recently started (yesterday), but I know it'll be amazing. She's the first person I turn to when I need another book idea (which happens frequently since I burn through them so quickly). I hope you'll find her reviews as beneficial as I do. Even if yall's will be far more formal than mine are. Here is the channel where you can find her reviews: http://www.youtube.com/baileyspazztia !

I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good.

2011-07-15T12:05:00.002-05:00

For those that do not know, I have a mild (okay fine, all consuming) obsession with Harry Potter. I know the most random of trivia about the books and movies. This makes me happy. In ways most could not begin to fathom. But I'm alright with this. I've accepted it. I always knew I was different.. I still say I should have gotten my letter when I was 11, life is so not fair.

Anyways! The last two days I have spent my time at the theater watching the hp movies for the last time on the big screen. Sadly I missed the first and fourth because of class and a test I had to study for. Then I saw the midnight premiere of the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (in 3D). It was magical. I cried like a baby. The end.

Hhahaha yeah right. Basically the issue I seemed to continuously be faced with was the fact that people in this marathon felt the painful need to laugh and cheer and such. I know most of yall have seen these movies before. Calm the f down! I know it's hp and I love the books and movies, but this isn't new! Save your energy for the final movie! Christ's sake. I just wanted to overdose on hp after my fish died and instead I'm faced with the overwhelming urge to punch people in their throats. By the sixth and seventh movie, where people have cheered like maniacs and acted like all around fools, I was terrified that people were going to be that obnoxious during the final movie.

Now yes, they were annoyingly loud and yes, I did miss far too much of the movie because I couldn't hear over all their noise, but at least people were silent when silence was deserved. The only sounds were the faint movements of fingers brushing away tears and sniffles. This included everyone. Men, women, children alike. In tears. Now I have never in my life shed actual tears in a movie, but I did. Then I'd calm down. But right after I'd start crying again because I realized hp was done! No more book releases (though those ended a while ago), no more midnight premieres, no more dressing up, no more dorking with my friends about hp. Life as I know it has ended. What else is there to live for but HARRY FREAKING POTTER.

Now that I'm done with the melodramaticness of that.. I should tell yall about my experience with this lady in the theater that was obviously a poser hp fan. I'm being lazy and copying this from my fb conversation with the lovely Bailey (whose tumblr is linked conveniently on the right side of this page). A little boy ran across the aisle in front of me, proclaiming that he had seen a Death Eater in the lobby. She quickly asked if he knew the appropriate spell to defeat them. This lady told a boy the wrong spell saying "Expecto Patronus" would get rid of a Death Eater. I calmly looked at her and told her that was a dementor. I should have told her that a Death Eater would laugh in your face if you did that. ): I then had to tell her what the "wand wave away flick thing" was Expelliarmus. And no, that wouldn't do much for you against a Death Eater because you're no where near as amazing as Harry James Potter. People these days! Know your Harry Potter or gtfo.

I miss Harry Potter already. Of course I'm going to go see the movie again. How could I not. My children will one day read the books that I grew up with, will appropriately be Sorted into Slytherin (though I won't love them less if they go into Gryffindor or Ravenclaw, probably a little less if it's Hufflepuff though.. I mean all that comes out of Hufflepuff is sparkly vampires!), and most importantly love these books! They'll never die. I'm going to make sure of that. As are many of my fellow hp lovers out there.

Now that this is all said and done, the only thing left to say is: Mischief managed.

xoxo, the little birdy.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Stop requested

2011-07-13T21:18:00.003-05:00

I would just like to start this blog by giving a small eulogy to my late betta fish, Chuck. I had him for nine months. It was a good nine months. He was very spoiled and such. Alas, I left him to go on vacation for a few weeks in hopes that I would return to him in the same condition but that was not the case. So, he died last night. Probably painfully, but I'm going to hope that that was not what actually happened. So here's to you Chuck, I love youuu. RIP. <3

Now to the point at hand. PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. I know, I love it, but I also hate it. Like why does it change depending on the season. Well on my university campus, at least. How confusing. I'm sitting at the stop just waiting for the bus to get there. When, 35 minutes later, after three buses were supposed to have stopped there, one shows up. I'm so upset at this point because it would have been faster to just walk to the garage where I parked my pickup, but no, I was determined, so I waited. That night I'm hanging out with my future roommate (who also got us tickets for the Harry Potter Marathon and the midnight premiere in 3D, which should say a lot), when I asked her about the buses that run on campus. Here is when I find out that the schedule is actually completely different over the summer.

SIGH.

However, I have a good quote that my lovely friend Thomas said while I was growing increasingly frustrated over the fact that a bus had not yet arrived to take me to the closest stop to the parking garage. He made me giggle like a mad woman when he said, "Welcome to the world of public transportation, where being late is more a rule than an exception." I knee slapped for far longer than necessary, but nothing bad about a nice laugh after being so perplexed about the tardiness of my bus.

Luckily for my, my prof seems to time her lectures based on when the bus comes (every 30 minutes), so I have yet to have to wait for half an hour. Bite my tongue, I probably just jinxed my self. KNOCK ON WOOD OR A VIRGIN'S HEAD. Derp. Hopefully this continues. I really don't want to walk in the 100 degree Texas heat for 20 minutes to get back to my pickup when I can easily hop on a nice air conditioned bus to take me there instead.

Here is where Thomas makes some joke about how lazy I am. D:

So yeah. I've even become accustomed to actually pulling the little cord thing to announce that I would like to be let off the bus. I was a hot mess of anticipation the first time I might have had to pull it because no one else was going to. I'd get all hot faced from blushing and awkwardly look around. Now, however, I get so mad if someone pulls it before I do. I guess that's how these things work. Or I'm just insane. You take your pick.

OHOHOH, awkward eye contact with the bus driver? I am sooo good at that. It's like an art form.

Okay random thoughts are done, I'm going to go back to my Skype call where I've been rudely ignoring Thomas for the length of time for which it took me to write this.

ADIEU, MES AMIS.

xoxo, the little birdy.

PS: I am overdosing on Harry Potter tomorrow, you have permission to be jealous.

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THIS JUST MADE MY DAY

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Bad blogging D:

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I really love potatoes.. SWEET.

Blog babies!

*ACHOO* Sorry. I'm allergic to bullshit.

The glass is half full, not half empty.

I've got an extra hand

Definition for happiness: state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

Easy enough to remember?

Read between the lines.

I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good.

Stop requested

ACHOO Sorry. I'm allergic to bullshit.