After being framed and banished to the Cold Palace, Yu Miaohua unexpectedly awakened her transmigrator memories and was bound to a palace intrigue system.
Palace Intrigue System: Host, don’t lost heart! As long as you diligently complete the tasks I assign, you can easily punch out the Imperial Concubine (Gui Fei), kick down the Empress, and become a virtuous empress in no time!
Yu Miaohua: Fight what fight? What’s the point of palace intrigue? It’s too terrifying! The Cold Palace is so much better—a tranquil environment, a detached villa, and I can even use the system to read novels and comics. It’s the kind of stay-at-home life I’ve always dreamed of.

However…

[You have completed the mission “Make the Emperor furious on account of your beauty, punishing his own uncle, and confiscating his property and titles,” reward: cotton seeds.]

[Congratulations on completing the mission “Frame the Imperial Concubine (Gui Fei) and confine her for three months,” reward: cement formula.]
[Congratulations on completing the task of going on a date the third-ranked (tan hua) imperial scholar, reward: corn seeds.]

Yu Miaohua stared at the automatically completed tasks, her face paling.

Something’s wrong. How did these palace intrigue tasks become complete on their own? Is there a bug in the Palace Intrigue System?
…One day, the emperor suddenly discovered that his concubine, Yu Miaohua, who had been banished to the cold palace, was bound to a palace intrigue system.

He sneered. “A palace intrigue system? What kind of evil spirit is this? It must be sent to a temple for purification.”

Until he saw the system’s mission rewards.

【Complete the quest “An unexpected encounter with the Emperor, and clear your name,” and you will be rewarded with Champa rice seeds that yield three harvests in one season.】
What? Three harvests in one season? And drought-resistant? He had to complete this mission! This wasn’t an evil spirit; it was clearly an auspicious gift from his ancestors!

Dedicated to the well-being of his country, he diligently helped Yu Miaohua with her palace intrigue, only to see a new mission.

【How can a female protagonist in a palace intrigue novel not have admirers besides the emperor? Host, look at that third-ranked scholar! Wasp waist, narrow hips, looks slim in clothes, muscular underneath—he’s definitely your type!】
The emperor: ???

Is he supposed to actively create opportunities for his concubine to have an affair? Such humiliation wasn’t unacceptable to him; after all, it was a crop suitable for mountain cultivation, yielding four shi per mu!

Soon, the emperor discovered that not only could he see Yu Miaohua’s palace intrigue system, but even the court officials could.

The Imperial Concubine’s Grand Tutor father, the Empress’s general uncle, the Consort De’s marquis brother… the entire court was diligently engaged in palace intrigue for Yu Miaohua.

One-sentence summary: How did the palace intrigue mission complete itself?

Theme: No matter the environment, always maintain your original self.

I’m late on my “tropetastic” TBR Challenge review for two reasons – most importantly, I had no idea which book would fit, and I only finished it this past weekend. Secondly, I hadn’t used my computer and I’m not about to try to write out a review on my phone. Anyway, the posted translation I read has the title as Slacking Off in the Palace, with Grand Scholars Vying for My Favor. Which, fitting. The tropes here became tasks for people to complete, and it was just a silly fun read. I actually hadn’t been interested in a book where the protagonist was attached to a “system” but then was like “whatever, easier reading something someone else has done.” And it was a total win!

I will say the title more should be translated as something like “I’m Going to Slack Off, Grand Scholars Will Vie for Favor On My Behalf” which yes – it’s not that scholars are vying for her favor, but are completing tasks that will make it seem like she’s favored. (Successful scholars generally became court officials.) And those not in the know think she’s the most precious beloved concubine.

Our heroine is Yu Miao Hua, and I love that she was so chill, and had a wonderful family. She’s not exactly a slacker salted fish … but kind of. She initially encounters the emperor while climbing a pear tree because she wants pear as part of her dinner, and he sees her thoughts/conversation with the system as text above her head. Miao Hua isn’t the brightest (which is a necessary component for the story to work), and normally that annoys me, but it’s well written here. Not only that, but Miao Hua is so principled that it counterbalances a lot of her silliness. Some of the tasks she’s eager to complete, but a lot of them involve some sort of (reputational) harm to others, and she wants no part of that. Miao Hua also has no interest in attempting to become the empress. For such missions, she’s like “no thank you[, you can fuck off]” but the emperor is desperate for all the rewards offered by the system. Which, granted, they’re truly excellent rewards that will benefit the people, and he’s a good emperor. There’s generally no critical thinking on Miao Hua’s part on how these tasks “magically” get completed, or why people are often staring above her head. It is addressed at times – she’s very beautiful, so both she and the system just think people are looking at her. (Granted, the system she’s bound to isn’t very bright either. In fact the times they subtly manipulate each other becomes cute.)

The hero … well honestly I’d say there isn’t one, but I suppose if we were to name one, it wouldn’t be the emperor, but the crown prince Pei Chi Yan. He’s the one Miao Hua ends up having the closest relationship with, and in fact he becomes one of her “divine consorts.” He’s definitely in love with her – willing to give up twenty years of his life for her health.

I believe he’s actually older than her, though I can’t recall his age ever being explicitly stated. Also definitely what I read was a machine translation, and there were some errors. He’s a bit of a sly fox, and woos our heroine subtly. It also definitely takes a while, because our heroine starts out with the identity of the emperor’s concubine, so technically his father’s woman. The emperor of course never touches her – thank god, especially since ew the emperor is 39 when the book starts, and our heroine is 16. The emperor quickly views Miao Hua as a divine maiden. Chi Yan’s parents and grandmother are the ones who keep pushing him to spend time with Miao Hua, and he has no designs on her whatsoever at the beginning. In fact he’s quite suspicious and uncomfortable with the fact that he’s pushed to spend time with his generational senior, especially as it’s deeply against the rules. But the more he sees of her, the more he likes her – and “hidden” in there is also the fact that they met as children.

Essentially, Yu Miao Hua is bound to a “system” – kind of like she’s in a living video game … but for this book specifically, it almost becomes like she’s the video game everyone else is playing, for real life rewards. The emperor of course wouldn’t know what a system is, but takes the words to be the identity of a god. I believe the first offering was high yield rice. There are other things like sweet potatoes, corn, cotton, how to cultivate it, crop mitigation, water works, cement and glass making, (unfortunately) weapons, so on and so forth. Basically a lot of things that would be developed hundreds of years later, or elsewhere. It would significantly increase the quality of living for the people, so the emperor is basically like “let’s goooo.”

As more tasks are completed, more people are able to see the system tasks. First it’s the emperor, then the Empress Dowager, the Empress (thank god), and then high ranking court officials. At one point the grand tutor helps the emperor frame his own daughter (who is also an imperial concubine) in order to complete a task. The empress does a lot of things that would otherwise be ridiculous in order to complete tasks as well. The fact that she can see Miao Hua converse with the system helps, and reassures her Miao Hua has no interest in taking her place as empress. It’s funny, throughout the story the Emperor comes “last” in terms of Miao Hua’s estimation. Definitely with the “if two of us fell into the river, who would you save first?” it’s never the emperor. And both the Empress Dowager and the Empress know it.

There’s a slight reverse harem – in that it happens, although there’s no romance. Miao Hua has essentially no interest in it. In fact she and Chi Yan have twins … but I’m not sure they even have sex. “How does that work, Lime?” you ask? Well, one of the system rewards is an artificial womb, and the system extracts their DNA and the babies are born of the artificial womb/a lotus. (Of course that works as another auspicious sign – that the “divine maiden” manifests children for the dynasty.) She can literally call rain and lightning (though for a limited number of times), guarantee good weather, gets treasure maps from the previous dynasty … and the tasks are ridiculous. “Have the emperor publicly declare he loves you most,” “get the emperor to confine the empress for you,” so on and so forth. Just thinking about one of the “auspicious signs”  just now made me snort laugh. “Hundred(s) birds paying homage to the phoenix” is one of the major signs in the empress, but the book turns it into “hundred(s) birds pooping” because someone had tried to create a sign to cause problems for the Empress (and Miao Hua). The author is gifted at turning tropes on their head.

There’s a problematic foreign princess that enters the harem, rumors abound, scheming in the harem, a bunch of the usual harem issues – but the fact that people are able to see some of Miao Hua’s thoughts render them moot. In fact the other characters are often laughing to themselves at the secret conversations. Miao Hua also is quite lively mentally, but especially after establishing herself as the “divine maiden” she presents a stately “otherworldly” appearance.

There was a last chapter that wasn’t translated that I couldn’t find anywhere when I looked, so I’m going to pretend that offers all the sweetness between the “couple” and closure for the romance. But even as a not romance, it’s a very fun, lighthearted, delightful story. I literally laughed out loud nearly ever chapter. There’s very little angst, and it’s so satisfying to read the “bad” characters punished. I also loved that the heroine, Empress, and Empress Dowager all got along so well. Plus the heroine and her little sister. In fact Yu Miao Ping became a valiant female general. (Yes! Another trope!) It’s not a serious read, and sometimes you just need that. I definitely recommend this book, and I need to look for more by this author.

Grade: B+

• Stacy Hawkins Adams
• Rochelle Alers aka Rena McLeary
• Aricka Alexander
• Kianna Alexander
• Danielle Allen
• Kristen Alicia
• Jewel Amethyst
• Bridget Anderson
• Myah Ariel
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• A.C. Arthur aka Lacey Baker, Artist Arthur, and Sapphire Blue
• AshleyNicole
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• Chencia C. Higgins
• Donna Hill
• Cheris Hodges or Cheris F. Hodges
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• K. M. Jackson
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• Sienna Mynx aka T.A. Ford
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• Stephanie Nicole Norris
• Nicki Night
• Grace Octavia
• Tiffany Patterson
• Nikki Payne
• Kayla Perrin
• Nikki Prince
• Jamie Pope
• Nana Prah
• Aubree Pynn aka Cassandra B.
• Francis Ray
• Charish Reid
• Stacy Reid
• Erica Ridley
• Lisa G. Riley
• Vanessa Riley
• Farrah Rochon
• Kennedy Ryan
• Reese Ryan
• Blue Saffire
• Emma Salah
• Shae Sanders
• Tember Sapphire
• Patricia Sargeant aka Regina Hart aka Olivia Matthews
• Analeigh Sbrana
• Sabrina B. Scales
• Angela Seals
• J.L. Seegars
• Candace Shaw
• Johnni Sherri
• Toni Shiloh
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• Tiye
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• Jamie Wesley
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• Frances Mensah Williams
• Preslaysa Williams
• Synithia Williams
• Tia Williams
• Julian Winters
• Rita Woods
• Stefanie Worth
• Elle Wright
• Kenya Wright
• Pamela Yaye

As always, please let me know who else should be added to the list, or if anyone wants to be take off! Thank you!

The Jiang and Song families had been on good terms for generations, and Song Wan was betrothed to Jiang Xingjian before she was even born. The two were childhood sweethearts, but she was confined to the inner quarters of the house, and all her learning in her life was merely preparation for becoming a wife in the Jiang family.
The young man, dressed in fine clothes and riding a spirited horse, had lofty ambitions. Before he even reached adulthood, he went to the border to make his mark.
Before his departure, Jiang Xingjian personally put a white jade hairpin in her hair. With just one sentence, “wait for me,” Song Wan’s heart was touched. Even though he died on the battlefield, she insisted on marrying into the Chengyang Marquis’s mansion while hugging his memorial tablet.
She kept the boy hidden in her heart and remained a widow for six years, only to wait for Jiang Xingjian to return to the capital with his beloved.
The young man’s beloved was eccentric in her words and unpredictable with her actions. She made ice and firearms in the summer, helping the Marquis’s mansion rise to prominence.
Song Wan watched as he embraced the girl, showering her with boundless affection. She also watched as he personally snatched the power to manage the household from her hands, all for the sake of winning a smile from his beauty.
No noble family would divorce a woman, so Song Wan abandoned everything and left the Marquis’s mansion, only to be entangled by a rebellious and unruly man.
But Jiang Xingjian suddenly realized his mistake. Jiang Xingjian: Song shi was mine in life and will be mine in death. Even her ghost will be mine.
Shen Qianyu: You go find your dead ghost, I want my A’Wan…

​The prompt for this month was “Vintage” and honestly I (other than going by publication date) don’t know what in cnovel world would be “vintage.” Everything I read is “old school” in that it’s a historical setting. (Look, the escapism is real.) But I felt the book I read just before this last one fits perfectly, because it has a transmigrator as one of the major characters, and she definitely starts out as the antagonist. (I actually felt she was more the actual protagonist of the book, but the author had a premise in mind and insisted on following it despite not really wanting to … I’m also annoyed because I just finished another book by her but this one was … not good.) Anyway, what I felt specifically “vintage” about it, was the setting of the book is an ancient very conservative society. What was interesting also was generally in novels the transmigrator is the protagonist, and their innovations lead to success and winning. But here the transmigrator couldn’t fit in, didn’t understand things, and caused endless trouble.

So our heroine is Song Wan. I had a little bit of trouble with her because she’s a perfect matron of her society. Which of course is really hard for those of us with modern day sensibilities to understand. There was also a bit of a question as to the timeline. Sadly my notes I took while reading the book disappeared, and I can’t be bothered to try to dig up the details… but she’s anywhere from like 18-22 when the book starts. (He left when she was 12 I believe, and was missing for six years … unless it means he left, then she came of age, and got married, and was a widow for six years – so that would be different. It’s not a big deal what her age is though – however I think it’s that she’s 18 … based on other issues/the fact that her age later isn’t an issue and the hero was in his early 20s…) So anyway, despite all the bullshit and fuckery, Song Wan is willing to try to live a good life with her husband Jiang Xingjian. There’s the childhood affection, and also she fully expected him to take concubines so while of course she isn’t happy about Lin Jiayue (this random woman he comes back with), she’s willing to accept it. But he treats her like shit, his family is shit to her, and everything is a mess.

She endures over and over, but realizes it’s ruining her life, the Jiang family is barrelling towards ruin, and everyone is using societal rules to control not just her, but the people she loves through her. So as the book says, she breaks free. Even so, Song Wang is still largely a rule follower. She’s not out to try to change society or opinions. However she doesn’t abase herself and won’t look down on herself because of what happened to her, despite the attitude of others. (Note, this is clearly one of those societies where they consider you married even if you’re just engaged and the ceremony never happened. So despite the fact that everyone knows this guy left when she was 12, and died at some point after, so clearly she’s never gone through the ceremony or had sex, she’s got no choice but to live with his family. Breaking the engagement would cause extreme shame to her family, and she’d still be considered a “fallen” or “tainted” woman. Yes of course we think it’s ridiculous and stupid, but I don’t make the rules. What I liked is that Song Wan is very intelligent. It’s not that she can’t see a lot of the “rules” are bullshit, but that’s just how society is, and you can’t function outside of it, so she makes the best of her situation. She also does stop caring about some things, realizing what’s important is that her beloved family members are well. And that sometimes even family isn’t on your side and you truly have to look out for yourself.

Shen Qianyu is the hero. (I think we’re all pretty clear on the fact that Jiang Xingjian, her trash ass ex, is not hero material.) I really liked him. He’s an utter mess, which you don’t normally see in a hero. He’s of course got the requisite tragic backstory, a lot of it is glossed over though. He was named crown prince at a young age, but he’s the second prince. The only reason he was named crown prince is that the oldest prince is the empress’s son, and there was a rival nation that demanded a hostage – one of extremely high status. Had the first prince been named crown prince, he would’ve had to be a hostage – so it fell to Shen Qianyu whose mother I believe was simply a palace maid. Nobody cared about him. He was horrifically abused while a hostage, and was sent back about a decade later, crippled and near death. Everyone assumed he’d die basically any minute, and never considered him a factor. Because of that, Qianyu was able to move around secretly … but he actually wasn’t successful in truly building his own base because he could never reach the upper echelons of society, and thus never connect to the people who were the true power players. He often disguises himself, so he and Song Wan interacted a number of times before she learned his true identity. (In fact she originally thought he was a eunuch, which is why she was willing to speak to him, despite finding it not entirely proper.) She gives him advice a few times, thinking he would “convey it to his master” – the Crown Prince – and at one point he thinks of her as his teacher. He catches feelings pretty quickly, but doesn’t realize it until a bit later. Even so, he falls hard and falls fast, and is happy to love her despite knowing she doesn’t feel as strongly about him (yet). Because he never really had any sort of education Shen Qianyu isn’t constrained by the extreme rules and etiquette of the society, so he’s a nice balance and foil to Song Wan.

While I really liked both our hero and heroine, it was the various secondary characters that got my attention. (In fact at one point I definitely know I wrote the note “I think the author forgot about our protagonists …”) but one is Jiang Yan, Song Wan’s brother-in-law. He’s Jiang Xingjian’s younger half brother. They have the same father but different mothers. Xingjian’s mother is the legitimate wife, Yan’s mother is a concubine. (Remember having concubines is not just socially acceptable but even expected in this time. And a wife that doesn’t tolerate her husband having concubines is known as jealous and it’s literally one of the grounds for divorce. For the era women generally can’t divorce their husbands, they can only be divorced, and it brings not only the woman shame, but her entire family, and affects the marriages of all the women. It’s so unfair …) ANYWAY. Jiang Yan would be the protagonist in another book, upon rebirth. (Which he isn’t here, I’m just saying he deserves a second chance.) He has some dark undertones, but mostly suppressed them, because he wants to be a gentleman for Song Wan. He doesn’t want her attention or even anything from her – it’s just that when he was a child, she was the only person who showed him kindness. And it was only once! (She basically lived as a hermit shut in her courtyard in the manor since she was “a widow.”) But she told him to be a gentleman. And it’s what he strives for his entire life. He doesn’t want anyone to know of his affections for her because it’d bring her harm. He truly literally just wants to love her from afar, and for her to live the best life. He helps her a number of times quietly from the background. I just loved this complicated character. He’s also crucial because he was friends with the hero. In fact Shen Qianyu  (of course disguised as someone else) made fun of Jiang Yan. But became interested in Song Wan because of all Jiang Yan was doing for her in secret. (There’s more but I won’t spoil it, because you might read it, or it might show up in the drama.)

While I called him the trash ass ex… which he is, in his defense, Jiang Xingjian didn’t know that Song Wan had married into his family/his memorial tablet. He had only been in communication with his older sister while missing and presumed dead (which yes I’m judging him for that), and she didn’t tell him. His sister – Jiang Man -was one of the biggest antagonists of the books, and she was against the Song family. She ruins her own family because she’s awful and shortsighted. The reason she messed with her brother’s marriage? Song Wan’s aunt is an imperial consort with a nine year old son. Jiang Man had her eyes on the top of her head and insisted on social climbing, so in the book it says she “seduced” the emperor, becomes an imperial concubine, and has a son of her own – that prince is 3-5 when the book starts. I felt it was ridiculous she did all this for such a small child/set herself up for failure … but that was also kinda the point. Jiang Man lied to her brother and said it was the Song family that killed their father, because she didn’t want her brother to have any good feelings for the Song family, or his wife, because she’s competing for the throne for her young son. She’s truly a terrible person. (I was so angry and didn’t feel that bad for Xingjian because he never investigated anything. He just listened to his sister. Which on the one hand I get, that’s his sister who he’d always listened to. But on the other hand, BRO!)

I’ve kinda some to expect this in cnovels, but this book went hard on the “characters change, things aren’t as they seem.” For example, the horrible transmigrator Lin Jiayue actually basically becomes one of the biggest supports at the end. (Although the real end of the book is a bit strange and detached …) But! Song Wan’s father, for example. Like I couldn’t quite get a feel for him for a long time – whether he actually loved her or not, or truly cared for her. Jiang Xingjian wasn’t all bad either. And there’s a character I hated pretty much the whole time and yet they died a more noble and heroic death than the emperor. (Granted it’s a low bar in this case but … that’s still the emperor.) Based on the blurb I also knew Song Wan definitely separates herself from the Jiang family, so even though she had no thought of it at the beginning, I waited for it to happen. And felt that that was the *real* start of things.

What was lovely about this book is there were a number of the most unassuming, or even looked down on individuals that made major contributions at just the right moment. Also really nice was Shen Qianyu had the perfect harem. He basically found a group of misfits, and offered them a way out of their terrible situations. All of them were asked first if they were willing to enter his harem. The biggest public aspect was that each woman had the public reputation of being incredibly virtuous. (And they really were…) Plus he never touches them, I don’t think he interacts with them at all – but he was paving the way for Song Wan to enter his harem. (How could a divorced woman be worthy of the Crown Prince??!) So after all these women “nobody would ever want” are stuffed into the harem (they kinda trick the empress into doing it/she acts out of spite), who would pay attention to Song Wan (and a daughter of a general) later quietly entering? And at that point Song Wan actually lives the life of a “normal regular married couple” with him – a marriage “like the common people” not nobles. And then during the day she hangs out with this lovely group of girls who know they have no chance at favor, so there’s no competition or infighting. They’re happy to be in a safe space where they aren’t restrained or restricted, and have a bunch of friends to chat with and keep each other company. It was such a delight.

I liked the book enough to pick up another one by the author after finishing it. I’ll also be very curious as to the drama adaptation. Who is cast, what they’ll bring from the book (if anything), the changes, so on an so forth. I’ll also be looking for other books by the author as well. She definitely gets you emotionally invested. While I felt it was weak in the end, there actually was nice romance and character development.

Grade: C-

Shi Yuanxi was infamous in the capital.

She had ruthlessly secured three marriages for herself.

In order to climb the social ladder and gain favor with the powerful and influential, she resorted to every possible scheme, from associating with a notorious playboy to pursuing the esteemed heir of a marquis, and even nearly becoming involved with a powerful minister at court.

But as the saying goes, “the higher you climb, the harder you fall.” Three times she schemed, three times she failed.

After her last engagement was broken off, she became the laughingstock of the entire capital.

Her family couldn’t bear the shame, so they sent her to the countryside.

Originally, she was destined to live a life of poverty and misery, and die in despair. But by a strange twist of fate, she was unexpectedly transported to the world of modern society.

In the past, in order to marry into a good family, she worked tirelessly for years, mastering all the accomplishments expected of a woman, such as playing musical instruments, calligraphy, and painting. To cultivate a reputation for virtue and propriety, she diligently practiced etiquette, striving to become a refined and dignified young lady from a respectable family.

However, once she arrived in the modern world, she realized that there are countless ways for people to live a good life.
Therefore, she studied hard and strove for success, and in just fifteen years, she joined the Chinese Academy of Sciences.

On the very day she was awarded the highest honor, she was sent back.

By this time, she had been banished to the countryside for three years, and the political situation in the capital was turbulent. Her former acquaintances, unable to restrain themselves any longer, were all extending offers of support.

They all assumed that she would once again try to secure a good marriage for herself.

Unexpectedly, what she sought this time was power and wealth.
It was the power to control her own life with her own hands.

What she desired was no longer the affection of a single person or the protection of the entire clan. Instead, she would ascend to the imperial court, enter the high halls of power, and be granted titles and high positions!

She sought not marriage, but power, and in doing so, she plunged the entire capital city into turmoil.
Even more so, there were those who, simply to earn a glance from her, tossed and turned sleeplessly night after night.
They were willing to sacrifice everything to stand by her side.

Note: The male lead is not any of the previous three fiancés.

Content Tags: Courtly Romance, Time Travel, Thrilling Read, Lighthearted

Theme: Your life is in your own hands. – My translation from the site blurb

The January TBR prompt is “Still Here” and I feel that on multiple levels – first of all, ALBTALBS, especially after the server/behind the scenes fuckery. (And I was still paying for everything ) And the heroine of this book. This had a really unique premise, one I hadn’t read before, where the heroine was from the world of the book, but transmigrates to the modern world, then is brought back. It was interesting also that the timelines differed; in her actual world, she was only “gone” (or not mentally there) for three years. But she spent 15 years in the modern world. She’s brought back to the capital by her utter shit family, and friends she’s here and better than ever.

Before I read the book I wasn’t quite sure what a “black moonlight” was – I didn’t know if it’s just a term I don’t know, if it’s something the author made up, if it’s the opposite of a “white moonlight” as in she’s not the one that got away, or that she’s not the “pure perfect first love.” And I think it’s layers of both – previously her three former fiancés all abandoned her for power. And they were the ones who broke things off with her. The last one there actually was mutual affection, and he had thought he could run his schemes and just bring her back … but he still never thought much of her, or how any of that would impact her. And didn’t care or do anything when his new fiancee he immediately acquired ruined the heroine’s reputation. The heroine’s resilience in coming back also is another aspect of “still here.”

Note in ancient China a woman’s reputation was (unfortunately) everything. In some eras a bad one is nothing like what we’d think today – it could mean forcing a person to her literal death. Either suicide, or her family would straight up kill her so as to not affect the other family members. Awful, I know. (And ridiculous. Fuck you, Confucius and Mencius.)

Our heroine is Shi Yuan Xi. Her parents are pretty much useless and nonentities. Her aunt and uncle are the people who largely (used to) control her life. Her uncle has the higher official position, her aunt is more assertive and has a more noble family background. And it’s super gross. Her eldest cousin stole her first fiancé. Yuan Xi’s aunt (and uncle) told her fiancé “hey if you marry our daughter instead of Yuan Xi, we’ll help you with your career.” And so he broke off the engagement and married the cousin who never treated Yuan Xi well. Worse, the family brings Yuan Xi back from the countryside to be this dude’s concubine to try to make married life better for her cousin. You’re probably thinking are you fucking kidding me?! And … no, no I am not. Satisfying for us, the guy is useless and hasn’t accomplished anything. Yuan Xi is basically like “if you make me be his concubine, well, he’s still in love with me, and I’ll blow your daughter’s marriage up.” Hilarious. Her family then tries to force her into becoming the concubine of her second ex-fiance, as he’s a general and the heir to a marquisdom. Yuan Xi is of course still uninterested. She gets out of her situation by going to school, determined to become a female official, and work for the court. She’s able to think of this and do this because when she transmigrated to the modern world, she realized how many more options there were out there than just “get married,” and focused her studies on Ancient China and Classical Chinese. (And then unfortunately, guns. I know others might not feel as strongly about it, but I just … do not love guns. And sadly it’s a huge part of this book. Honestly other than the slightly weak romance, the guns and weaponry are what kept this from being a 5 star/A(+) read for me.)

Yuan Xi is also very “fuck your feelings.” For example when her 2nd ex tries to come find her, this is how it goes:

But she said, “Young Master Pei is overthinking this.”
“I have always valued cleanliness.”
“I never share men.”
“Also, I don’t follow conventions. Men, if they’re not up to the task, can be replaced. Do you want me to be a concubine?” she said expressionlessly, “I advise you to give up on this idea.”
“Otherwise, when I enter your household, I might bring you a few good brothers, and that wouldn’t be pretty.”
“Wouldn’t you agree?”

Iconic.

Our hero is Xu Jing He. He’s a bit of an agent of chaos. His older brother (although this is a bit of a secret/nobody talks about it) was the biggest support of the previous emperor prior to him taking the throne, and made him a fortune. You could say he’s the one that funded the empire and the reason the then prince could become emperor at all. However the brother was wrongfully accused and executed. So Jing He honestly wants to burn everything down. He comes from a rich, powerful noble family, and controls a navy … and is a rather high ranking court official especially for his age. The only reason he doesn’t tear everything apart is because he realizes Yuan Xi really cares about the country and the people, and he’ll do anything to help her and support her. In a way he’s the most developed hero I’ve read by this author. (After I read this book I picked up three more books by this author, so yes I’ve read/am reading four in a row by her.) In a way it’s because – it’s not that Yuan Xi gets a bad vibe from him, but that she feels something is “off” and she can’t see through him so she doesn’t trust him. (And the same for him … at first, but he also falls first and falls hard.) It was a little bit I wasn’t sure if he was helping her initially to more just promote his own agenda, or if he’d already fallen for her and didn’t even himself know it … or both. (For example my note for chapter 83 was just “XJH has caught some feelings – does he know?!”) He a little bit resists it/pretends he is until 113 until he “propositions” her … but with forever. So. But by 134 it’s:

He said firmly, “In everything else, I’ll follow your lead.”
“Your heart belongs to the world, not the inner chambers. I’d never clip the wings of a phoenix.”
“As long as I’m in your eyes.”

This was such a satisfying “see our heroine overcome and win at life” read. And all the villains were so infuriating but not ridiculous. What I mean by that is I was so angry and I hated them – but I wasn’t like “this is so stupid.” I think it’s batshit the Wei family was able to do so much, but also understand/it made sense that their decades of control had led to this situation. The current state of affairs is that the previous emperor (the guy Xu Jing He’s brother helped) died young and childless, so the Empress Dowager and her family (the Wei clan) found a young prince – one of the newly deceased emperor’s brothers – to take the throne. So the new/current emperor is only three years old, and the country is essentially being run by the Empress Dowager and her brother, along with their followers. The emperor’s birth mother was a lower ranking concubine and she’s sent to a temple. It’s a bit of a mess, and you’d think “why wasn’t she made Empress Dowager?” but it’s because Empress Dowager Wei is still there, and she’s technically the current young emperor’s legitimate/legal mother … and even if she wasn’t, when she and her family control the court and all the power, who would say otherwise? Contradicting them literally means death.

Xu Jing He wants to tear it all down … Shi Yuan Xi wants to eradicate the corruption in the court and build a better, stronger, thriving country. Yuan Xi allies herself with the emperor’s birth mother. As the current people in power are the Weis and other corrupt officials, Jing He and Yuan Xi’s interests often align. Yuan Xi is also quite cheeky and often borrows Jing He’s authority, and leaves him her messes to clean up. It’s a good amount of “the enemy of my enemy is a friend.” She even has the gall to say “look I’m helping you!”

Not only does Yuan Xi do well in school, which allows her to enter officialdom (though of course her journey isn’t smooth), she also gains merit by (sigh) submitting a blueprint for a newer more powerful gun. What minutely made things better for me is that guns existed in the world prior to her first transmigration. So at least she didn’t entirely bring them in – but just … she made a much more destructive version. And an assault rifle, which I … basically tried to ignore. (And some bombs … thankfully she keeps those pretty secret.) The weapons are important because the country is often at war. Plus this is a time(line) where rich and powerful families all have their own secret guards, which depending on how wealthy a person is could amount to a small personal army.

Beyond everything else (and there’s a lot, what with our heroine taking on an official career in the court vs. doing business or anything else), two things really stood out to me as being unique in this book. For one, Yuan Xi always has an excellent relationship with the young emperor, and his birth mother. No later suspicion or broken relationship. That made me so happy – I was literally worried the whole time. In fact she largely maintains a good relationship with his daughter who later takes the throne too. The second, is I think that Yuan Xi and Jing He never get married. The author is a bit vague – and the “extra”/”after” is told via a look into a modern day web forum of people discussing them … so it says they had a kid but I couldn’t tell if it really was theirs or one of her nieces or nephews. It’s not really important – but just … they never formalized things which is scandalous. I think the whole point was to underline and maintain how unconventional Yuan Xi is. And how accommodating Jing He is. He’ll do whatever she wants – he just wants to be with her.

The supportive secondary characters were also excellent. Some of Yuan Xi’s classmates, who are in a way Jing He’s students. There’s a group of really good guys. The emperor’s birth mother, the little emperor once he gets to have any sort of say. The righteous ministers of the court who care about the people. Some literally stick their necks out to protect the people. You can meet them when you read the book.

I needed a read like this too – where we have a selfless heroine who is willing to risk herself for the common people, and the country. A story where corruption is punished and eradicated. Where good wins. (I just wish guns weren’t such a huge part of the story! *sigh*) There are so many twists and turns I’m not going to get into because I already dropped enough spoilers. (Although not ones that would affect your reading enjoyment, at least in my opinion. And going in with peace of mind is important, especially with a cnovel!)

I can definitely see myself re-reading this book, and I’ll be reading more by the author too. As I said, I read four books in a row by this author – every single historical romance she’s written. (I started this review a while ago and finished it later.) I gave it four stars on GR – seriously – so many guns. But I rated it …

Grade: A- –

After more than five weeks, ALBTALBS is back!!! The site was down for all that time and it was a mess and please God may it never happen again. (I fully expect it will, because of course. )

Maybe the site was down for seven or more weeks, because I know I meant to post my November TBR Challenge review but … couldn’t. And so my New Year’s gift to myself is for now, just … not doing it. Maybe later or one day it’ll happen.

I’m hoping to do a favorite reads or at least a recommended reads list though.

And thanks to everyone who has been with me on this long ridiculous journey. It’s been 15 years!

I tried to win over Zhou Jingxu’s heart five times.

Each time, I appeared in a different form.

Each time, I was a beautiful woman.

And the last time, he looked down at me, distant and above it all, and said, “Zhao You’en, stop fawning already. Even if you turned to ashes, I’d still recognize you.

“Let me be honest with you. Even if I jumped from here, I still wouldn’t choose to be with you.”

I resigned myself to yet another erasure by the system.

When I awoke again, the system asked, [Host, would you like to choose a different target to pursue?]

The prompt for this month is “do the hustle” and honestly I think the task through five lifetimes is enough to be considered a hustle. I’ve noticed a trope that’s pretty common in cnovels is a protagonist who is “attached to a system” where you’re given a task you must complete – I tend to read historicals so I generally see it with transmigration stories … but anyway this was a rare read for me as it was set in modern times – I’m more willing to do that with these short shorts that are almost more like vignettes. This was broken into six parts … I think each “chapter” was only like a paragraph or two – they were so short I didn’t even clock them. Anyway the entire premise is in the blurb. Unfortunately I couldn’t find a cover or publisher site/couldn’t find it on the site the person listed.

Our heroine is Zhao You’en – who transmigrates into a different body and identity each life … but her target Zhou Jingxu never falls for her … or never admits it anyway. (Asshole.) The sixth life … she switches to Cheng Xingye, our delightful hero. Each lifetime Zhao You’en is a gorgeous woman and she did love Zhou Jingxu for the first three lifetimes … what’s interesting (and sad) is each time she fails her mission she immediately dies in an incredibly violent and tragic way. Oof. Aggressive cancer, getting shot in the head, hit by a car, literally run over by a truck … and she remembers each time. I mean, it’d be enough to ruin any love. Especially since he’s such a fucking asshole about his rejections.

What’s equally sad is … Cheng Xingye has been in love with Zhao You’en each lifetime as well, and he always recognizes her. (She keeps a number of the same likes and habits – e.g. little movements when she’s reading or in thought, liking the same manhua – graphic novel – same ringtone and taste in music. Which of course makes sense since she’s the same person just … different bodies/identities. You get hints about his feelings for her – the times he’s helped her, their (few) interactions … which she didn’t notice at first but this lifetime she realizes … maybe there was something.

Another thing that I loved was how welcoming his family is to her. Immediately his grandmother and parents are like “live here! Stay with us forever! You’re so pretty and sweet!” They’re so excited their son/grandson “finally” has someone he likes. (And they think she’s delightful too.)  We first have slightly awkward then sweet interactions between Zhao You’en. Obviously she recognizes Cheng Xingye, but he doesn’t recognize her at first. He’s also a bit cold because he’s almost afraid to hope – and you can’t blame him, watching the girl he loves die over and over again – once literally in his arms.

I don’t imagine you’ll read it – though I hope you do! You can probably get through it in like an hour! So … spoiler! Anyway, I absolutely loved that his sincerity moved “the system”/the powers that be to give the two their next five lifetimes together in blissful happiness. And we all know that I’m a petty vengeful bitch, so I also loved that Zhou Jingxu actually eventually fell for Zhao You’en but she’s like “fuck this trash ass man” – and then he gets stuck with a system and even gets a choice of targets … and always picks Zhao You’en and fails. Continuously. Suffer, asshole.

I’d love to read more by this author and am super crushed I can’t find anything at this time. Hopefully the translator that first found this short story posts more by [her]!

Grade: A-

You can read the story here. Or a direct link here.

Lianxi transmigrated into a novel she read—

Strictly speaking, as a tragic side character with a gruesome death.

Lianxi cried bitterly. Rather than meeting such a miserable end,

She might as well take matters into her own hands—at least it would hurt less.

Thus began her hilarious journey to seek death…

The tyrannical and ruthless emperor who only loves killing: Noble Lady Lian’s brain…???

The harem beauties: She’s insane!!

Ok first of all, this is one of the funniest books I’ve ever read in my life. Also, I have to say I really love the wide variety – and hilarity – of cnovel author pen names. Some are poetic, some are clever or hopeful, and some are absolutely silly – like this one. I think I’ve explained “salted fish” before – but basically it’s someone who doesn’t want to do anything. As in even too lazy to turn over when lying down. I believe it originated as an insult, but was quickly adopted by overworked (millennials) and became “goals.”

The prompt for the TBR Challenge this month is “back in my day…” which … look 99.9% of my reading are historical, and it’s all cnovels all day, so this is what we get. I don’t recall if it’s set in a real or made up dynasty – that’s not the important part, but it’s definitely set in Ancient China. As I mentioned, it’s one of the funniest books I’ve encountered. I was laughing so hard through almost the whole thing. It pulls back dramatically on the humor near the end, but goes harder on the romance.

Our heroine is Lian Xi – we don’t really get details but it felt like she was a college student or just out of it, and she transmigrates into a cannon fodder character in a novel she read. That’s the reason she’s so desperately seeking death – she’s a vicious supporting character who schemes against the protagonist of the novel (fails to set her up and get her raped …) so then the truly vicious hero – the emperor – to vent his beloved’s anger, has Lian Xi’s character tortured, raped, then dismembered via being pulled apart by five horses. She keeps dreaming the punishment, which makes her desperate to die on her own terms, and go back to modern times. She’s a delight but not the brightest, so she doesn’t really try to think things though, she just wants OUT. (And you can’t really blame her…) Hence her hijinks.

It. Is. HILARIOUS. If she wants to come for you she absolutely doesn’t care if you drag her down with you – in fact that’s what she’s hoping for. One phrase she uses that stuck with me is “come on, let’s hurt each other.” Ironically her life is saved a few times at the beginning when she asks the emperor for death. Obviously it’s not a normal thing, and everyone is constantly horrified by her antics. Then there’s the fact that she’s a transmigrator and doesn’t know or remember all the rules. (One being looking directly at the emperor isn’t allowed. So she does it, and everyone just thinks she’s bold and “flirting” – not that she’s clueless.) It’s the perfect mix and she’s a chaos muppet already so …

For our hero … well I felt it wasn’t really clear when the emperor fell for her. Definitely he first thinks there’s something suspicious about her, then that she’s interesting … He’s twisted because he was horrifically abused as a child, and his mother was truly insane – and punished in the way Lian Xi dreams that [her character] dies. So … that’s his beginning. He’s incredibly cruel and scary … though very tolerant of Lian Xi. (And his younger sister.)  He also sees that Lian Xi does make good points – she’s willing to say what others aren’t (why bother? What’re they going to do – kill her? Yay!), and that she actually often tries to protect the innocent. So he’s not all bad. He’s not good to his harem, but he is an excellent emperor and very good for the people.

Literally like the first sixty chapters (they’re short) are all Lian Xi running around seeking death. The first few chapters she figures out she can’t kill herself. So she quickly tries to instigate others into killing her. Of course she doesn’t consider other and outside factors.

It’s of course not all fun and games – I mean the reason behind Lian Xi desperately seeking death is dark. There are some timeline switches too – where at one point she [almost] dies, but instead of going back to her own world she’s thrown into the original plot of the book (a lot of things had changed in what we were reading/the transmigration timeline).

There were some plot holes, but I felt it wasn’t too serious – this obviously isn’t a book that takes itself that seriously, and it isn’t to be taken that seriously. I was vastly entertained, and know I’ll absolutely be re-reading it in the future. I even already started another book by the author. (Alas it wasn’t as good.) But I read The Harem Supporting Female Has It Too Hard in a day.

I didn’t love the ending, and felt there was a bit too much “bathroom” humor for my taste … but those honestly were my only complaints. (And it wasn’t that bad, but there were like … five mentions of ear wax and that was five too many for me. (… I also think the author has a very unique kink, but I’ll leave that to you to find out/decide.) I also felt there wasn’t quite enough to establish the relationship, but I was willing to go with it, as I almost felt that wasn’t really the focus.

If you want an unconventionally humorous read, you absolutely have to give this one a try.

Grade: A-

It’s one of the best slice of life historical cdramas out there. I recently saw it on one of those “most watched dramas” lists, and I have no idea how accurate those things are, but wouldn’t be surprised about this one being on the list. The lead actor, Sun Li is an absolute queen and one of my favorite actors in the world.

I tried to find an official trailer – it’s been quite some time since it aired in 2017 – but there’s this which is low-key seems to be a summary of the series:


Or this:

And this which is in Chinese and subbed in Thai

So I picked this as my “Road Trip” pick because even though it was a [triple] rewatch, it’s one where the characters travel all over China – and in fact to other countries as well, and it’s a series I want to talk about because more people should watch it!

Nothing Gold Can Stay is set in the very late Qing Dynasty. It’s historical fiction – our protagonist, Zhou Ying was a real person. However, the actual person differed from the character – she’s mentioned at the very end, and they say she was from a prominent family, basically the “ideal woman” and was incredibly impressive in running the business of her husband’s family – which she had to take control of when she was widowed and there was nobody else to step up. (Or willing to step up…)

Anyway, the series hints at it, but she never goes and looks into her background. (That actually disappointed  me, but alas. And there was enough other stuff going on.) So in the drama, she’s a purported orphan, raised by her foster father who is basically a trickster. He tells her about her “origin” using a different story each and every time. One of his common “quick money” schemes is selling Zhou Ying (often under a made up name) – and once he has the money, he has her stay for a few days, then they run away and move to a different place. They perform street performances and trick people out of their money with something of a crew.

Basically at the beginning, he sells her yet again, but then disappears. Her new “master” (Shen Xing Yi)  is a young asshole. You’ll hate him. He’s abusive, and she runs away by hiding in a visitor’s (Wu Ping) palanquin. In order to save her life, he lets her stay with him as a servant. He develops feelings for her, but knows nothing can happen between them. There’s a lot of drama, and the situation arises where he’s on the verge of death, and his family decides to rush a wedding to “bring joy” to heal him. (It was a whole thing, I can’t think of the term and am not sure if that was a practice in the western world.) Anyway, his fiancée – there’s been an arrangement since childhood – doesn’t show up, so Zhou Ying steps in basically on a whim. It works out! So since the Wu family has integrity, they decide “she married our son when it was unclear whether he would live or die, so we’ll let her stay as the legitimate wife.”

The Wu family is quite wealth, and is an imperial merchant (a family that provides goods to the palace or for the court). That means both status and money. There is a huge learning curve, as Zhou Ying was basically an unruly girl that lived on the streets. And now she has to act like a wealthy young miss, essentially noble-adjacent. This is also a time and society when women weren’t even supposed to show their faces much less be in the street. (Don’t yell at me, I don’t make these stupid fucking misogynistic rules.)

Having both watched a lot more costume cdramas and read a LOT more cnovels, I picked up a lot more cultural things and loved how great of a slice of live series this is. The acting is good, the costumes gorgeous, the settings fantastic. I really miss these big budget dramas that give the story time to cook. I have no idea where this was filmed but it really does show the vastness of a large established family – their “residence” was basically a neighborhood In and of itself.

We have Zhou Ying struggling to learn etiquette, (and in general – she’s barely literate, which impressive enough she can read anything), then running the business – both convincing the Wu family and the people she has to do business with. The jealousy of the other family branches, schemes, political upheaval … an extremely corrupt prince who makes everyone’s lives miserable … a magistrate who first dislikes her for being so “unwomanly” but then falls in love with her …

I’m not getting to the travel part, but Zhou Ying does have to go all over the place to establish connections and acquire goods. She goes far west and establishes relationships with foreign merchants. Later (much later), she goes to Shanghai for business. I believe she does business with both British and French merchants. I believe the equivalent period would be the Edwardian era, and it was so interesting seeing those dresses in a cdrama (a good amount of them were in Shanghai).

I watched it on YouTube here:

And I checked some random times – it seems the subs are pretty good. Yay!

Definitely an A.

… I realized I didn’t talk about the romance. Her puppy love with with her husband, but he dies quickly. I suppose some people would say the hero is Shen Xing Yi, but he’s such a brat for so much of It it. Also they’re a toxic awful mess, generally. And their ending, well … I don’t want to talk about that either. (Idiot. Him. Although I guess at the very end he does something … slightly noble.) Anyway, I had long liked Zhao Bai Shi for our girl, and I get why she wouldn’t marry him (she made this horrible vow basically like “may I be struck with lightning and never be able to reincarnate if I remarry in my life” – because her asshole uncle [in-laws] made her do it in order to be allowed to take over the family business… but anyway in my head they get together, whether with “formal status/legally” or not and fuck like rabbits and are quite happy, the end.

Melia Alexander
Bella Andre
Brittany Arreguin
Tessa Barbosa
Ruby Basu
Paulia Belgado
H. Bentham
Talia Bhatt
Suleena Bibra
Halina Cabrera
Grace Callaway
Jax Cassidy
S.A. Chakraborty
Gloria Chao (YA)
Jeannie Chin
Mary H.K. Choi (YA)
Azalea Crowley
Sylvia Day
Kali Decker
Catherine Dellosa
Sara Desai
Six de los Reyes
Sonali Dev
Piper J. Drake
Pintip Dunn (YA)
Liz Durano
Mina V. Esguerra
Vicki Essex
Hafsah Faizal (YA)
Eilis Flynn
Jen Frederick
Maan Gabriel
Elizabeth Galit
Carina Gaskell
Georgette Gonzales
Jeanette Grey
Carla de Guzman
Jenny Han (YA)
Karen Harbaugh
Farah Heron
Helen Hoang
Mia Hopkins
Amalie Howard
Ariana Jade/Arizona Tape
Uzma Jalaluddin
Julie Kagawa (YA)
Soniah Kamal
Coleen Kwan
Thien-Kim Lam
Laura Kung Jessen
Ruby Lang
Jackie Lau
Loan Le (YA)
Emery Lee
Jade Lee aka Kathy Lyons
Jayci Lee
Lyla Lee
Hudson Lin
Jeannie Lin
Lisa Lin
Dominic Lim
Marjorie Liu
Agay Llanera
Gennita Low
Jasmine Luck
Maida Malby
Arlene Manocot
Tif Marcelo
Chris Mariano
Nicola Marsh
Sandhya Menon (YA)
Courtney Milan
Anj Miranda
Bianca Mori
K. M. Moronova
Tara Pammi
Suzanne Park
Namrata Patel
Sajni Patel
Farrah F. Polestico
Cindy Pon
Tara Quan
Alisha Rai
Ashish Rastogi
Amara Royce
Jaime Ryanne
Kate Sebastian
Dhara Shah
Annika Sharma
Nisha Sharma
Mona Shroff
Nalini Singh
Sophia Singh Sasson
Royaline Sing
Camilla Sisco
Suleikha Snyder
Jesse Q. Sutanto
Cecilia Tan
Lianyu Tan
Cara Tanamachi
Marian Tee
Sherry Thomas
Melanie Ting
Julie Tieu
Gita Trelease
Jay E. Tria
Jen Trinh
Celestine Trinidad
Jen Trinh
Mia Tsai
Neely Tubati Alexander
Nisha J. Tuli
Lillie Vale (YA)
Grace Wen
Fortune Whelan
Preslaysa Williams
Ekaterine Xia
Ines Bautista-Yao
Cathy Yardley
Teresa Yea
Jennifer Yen (YA)

As always, if there’s anyone I should add (or anyone who wishes to be removed), please let me know! Thank you!

Ning Jinhua and Lu Hanxiao are a match made in heaven. One is a daughter of a noble family, the other is a prince of a vassal state – childhood sweethearts, a young couple, but they ended up with a tragic ending.

Perhaps even the strongest feelings cannot withstand the erosion of time. After marriage, the young couple spent less time together and more time apart, and each felt that the other had changed. She disliked his coldness and indifference, and he disliked her indulgence and willfulness. They quarreled countless times, quarreled and made up, made up and quarreled again, and broke up and got back together, becoming a famous couple in the capital.

In the sixth year of their marriage, Ning Jinhua packed up her belongings and moved out of the mansion, while Lu Hanxiao left the capital and returned to the vassal state of southern Yunnan to tend to his father, the old prince. The couple were thousands of miles apart and had not exchanged a single letter.

Ning Jinhua thought, let it be, the young man who once held a lantern for her may have disappeared long ago. Rather than getting further tired of each other, it is better to break up. When he comes back, she will legally separate from him.

*

A year later, Lu Hanxiao stepped on a pile of corpses and became the new King of Zhennan, dominating the area. In the same year, the Ningguo Mansion in the capital was involved in a treason case and the whole family was exiled.

By the time the news reached southern Yunnan, it was the coldest month of the year. It was snowing heavily outside, with the snow was already above the ankles.

Lu Hanxiao was silent for a while, then he put on the fox fur that Ning Jinhua had sewn for him and rushed to the capital overnight.

The theme of this month’s TBR challenge is “older couple” – I’m a bit amused by how much my journey into cnovels has changed my perspective when I’m like “… sure yes a 23 year old fits.” Heh. LET ME EXPLAIN. First of all, in the time period, women/girls come of age at 15. (It’s set in made up dynasty in ancient China.) Then also, they’ve already been married for seven years – and the book goes much further, taking us well into their 40s. Anyway, they’ve also known each other for nearly eighteen years at the beginning part of the book. I did try to think of other cnovels I’ve read where the older couple would fit our current modern standards too – I know I’ve read a few, but my sieve mind has totally blanked … and more I really want to talk about this book. I have mixed feelings here, and am not entirely sure how I feel about this book, but the fact that it made me think so much will stick with me for a long time.

The universe tends to play with me – and I inadvertently pick books with similar characters/themes/tropes, entirely unknowingly. (Different authors, written at different times, so on and so forth. After reading this book I happened to pick up another with a very similar yet different heroine – so the comparison was even more stark.) Anyway, a lot of people will truly dislike this heroine. Ning Jinghua has largely had a life all of us would practically kill to get. She’s been loved, spoiled, and pampered her entire life. Her biggest blow was when her natal family was exiled … but other than losing that not entirely necessary support system, not much changed for her. (I’m over simplifying things – she had a lot going on, not the least being a secret pregnancy …) A single bowl of soup she has daily basically costs more than what an average family could live on for a year.  She makes little personal improvement, and honestly she’s never lacked for any food, shelter, or security. She is incredibly immature, and I thought it was interesting that the author actually wrote that. Most heroines in cnovels are 15-20 (or oh god, younger – though definitely not married before then …) – and they’re largely capable, often over powered. I get that’s what a lot of people are looking for and want in their leisure reading. That’s something I really enjoy as well. However, Jinghua is absolutely her age, and in fact falls far behind her peers. I’d like to note though, that it is absolutely not all her fault. Her brother bent over backwards to keep her naive, and her husband even more so. In fact at one point she realizes he likes her a bit stupid – that way she can’t and won’t interfere with what he’s doing. At that point I was like “yes ok and what do we do about it?” … but with her? Nothing. It was nothing. So what bothered me about her is that every time I thought she was finally growing or about to change… nope. Not only did she not progress it often felt like she regressed.

Not to say she’s all bad. She’s incredibly generous (though, it’s not hard to be when you’ve never had to worry about money and can basically demand endless sums … *coughs* anyway.) She rescues all the female members of her family that she can, and even provides for them. She also tries to save other acquaintances, just because she feels it’s the right thing to do. At one point she has her friend managing her dowry shops, and gets a windfall of grain and circumstances would allow her to obtain a mind blowing amount of wealth … and she tells her business partner to donate it all to her husband to feed his army because getting food in this drought has been so difficult. In fact she and her business partner friend have a falling out because of it.

Our uh, hero is Lu Hanxiao. I’ve been thinking about his character a lot, and I don’t think he’s malicious. At least, not to our girl. But the issue is … he – well it’s hard to explain. He both does and doesn’t treat her well. In part, it’s that he doesn’t know how to. He was sent to the capital as a hostage, alone, at age 8. He had to care for himself, navigate the awkwardness of his father being a vassal king, and then the mess in his own family. While not the imperial family, it was basically the same. So he’s got no real connection or affection to his father or brothers, and in fact kills most of them. (This is a very common theme in cnovels – kill or be killed. So we don’t blame him for that either.) He spent very little time with Jinghua after they got married, but he was busy trying to literally just stay alive. Not only that, but he had nothing, and has to wrack his brain to get money and resources to provide for her incredibly lavish lifestyle. That’s not to say he’s blameless – he’s incredibly controlling, I’d even save abusively so, and they are an absolute mess. Emotional support doesn’t exist for him, and he doesn’t understand the need for it. He shows his love through material things. He also can’t comprehend her insecurity in the marriage, so there’s that too.

Lu Hanxiao loves Ning Jinghua from the very depths of his being though, and wants to give her everything good in the world. He wants her happy, worry free, and to have the absolute best. (He also thinks they can live happily and wait to spend time together once he gets done with his pesky little business of you know, taking the throne.) The issue is he doesn’t listen to what she actually wants (his time and attention). And he is ten million times next level possessive. (Another common cnovel trope…) At one point he essentially puts her under house arrest, and honestly I was as upset as she was.

At this point you’re probably like “… uh, what the fuck, Lime?” And yeah – THAT’S EXACTLY IT. This was so interesting because it’s an incredibly toxic book. I was so irritated with the author, and mad at [her] for all the melodrama and angst. Had I not read another book by her that I really enjoyed not long ago, I’d probably have DNF’d it. I also kept expecting like “ok well now things are going to change for the better, right? It’s going to happen any minute!” … And nope. Not until nearly the very end. What’s wild though is chapter 122 is where I got my “yay” and after finishing chapter 124, the final one, I literally threw my head back and yelled because “THAT’S IT?! WHERE’S THE REST?! I WANT MORE!” So it was impressive in and of itself the author kept me reading.

The book actually starts basically right after the set up from the blurb. These two damn people could’ve solved so goddamn many problems if they’d just communicated. They’re both incredibly proud though, and immature – so here’s where I say the author was realistic with the age. Even though they’ve been married for seven years … they’re both still young, just in their 20s. For her, early 20s. She’s never had to face “real life” – and everyone has been telling her how great her life is, how well her husband treats her. The thing is though, they’re basically living as strangers, and she feels isolated. One of the major themes in the book is you can’t know how a person is living, or whether they’re content or not because you aren’t that person. The author takes it both ways – with everyone first thinking Jinghua is ungrateful, to then later people wanting, even hoping she steps away … but her being happy in her situation.

Like I said, this relationship is incredibly toxic. But what really hit me is … even some books you’re like “they’re toxic, and even though they love each other and are in love, they’re better apart.” Here… that’s not the case! They both want to be together! Despite the toxicity! They’re happiest in their situation! Apart, neither would be okay. He only wants her – she’s more important to everything, even the throne. She … is okay with being controlled by him. She loves him, supports him, and wants to be in this situation. I think it was eight or nine years into their marriage (they spend a lot of time apart prior to that …) they do finally talk and he makes changes – instead of unilaterally deciding things, he explains himself or the situation. It helps a lot. She also grows up a bit and realizes the universe doesn’t actually revolve around her and money does not magically appear out of thin air, and he has important things to do. (She also has three children, so that takes her time and attention. Though the holy shit twists and turns with these children.)

Spoiler (lol but I don’t care since I don’t expect any of you to read this … and if it gets adapted into a drama … welp whatever. They’ll probably change it anyway.) One of their biggest points of contention, is that Jinghua thinks Hanxiao took their oldest son away from her when he was just born to curry favor with one of the imperial concubines. She’s very jealous of that person – and the bitch is also awful and prevents her from seeing her son in all the subsequent years … – ANYWAY. She’s incredibly angry with her husband for taking away their son. And at first you’re like “yeah guy, what in the actual fuck?” But then you start getting hints like … there’s more to the situation there. So why doesn’t he just fucking tell her? … and then when you find out the ins and outs, you’re like “… well… shit. Ok, I get it now.” And since none of this makes sense, let me tell you the what and why.

Jinghua (we’ve established she’s no brain trust), wasn’t having a good time after getting married. She felt neglected, and also instigated by shitty people around her, thought she’d fix her marriage by having a baby. (Yeah, we all know how that goes. But she was very young, and this was ancient China.) Anyway, she was too young. And alone. She had an extremely difficult birth, and while the book doesn’t explicitly state it, I think she had severe postpartum depression. So much so that she had a psychotic break. Further instigated by shitty family, she decides everything is hopeless, so she plans on a murder-suicide for her son. She tries to stab her infant son in the heart with a hair pin, and is about to commit suicide. Thankfully the baby cried and someone heard the fuss and ran in to stop her in time.  (She’s also entirely blocked this from her memory – so she thinks her son’s birthday is 20 days later than it actually is. When they finally reunite just before he turns six, she thinks that imperial concubine is the one who caused his horrific scar, and that’s … a whole other thing.) Anyway, her husband actually brought their son to the imperial concubine because she’s a gifted healer, and was the only person who could save him. He also leaves their son with the other woman because he’s afraid of Jinghua having a relapse, or doing something to him, and honestly he doesn’t really care about or for the son because of all these problems he’s caused and the harm done to his wife as she nearly died in childbirth. (Look I’m not saying these relationships or reasons are healthy, it’s just what it is – and I might be stating it a bit badly.)

Jinghua does eventually figure/recall out what actually happened, and feels very sorry about it. She wrongfully hated her husband for nearly six years. But … you see why he didn’t simply tell her the truth? How do you say “well I let our son be fostered elsewhere because you lost your mind and tried to murder him. You just happened to think she’s the other woman but I don’t care about her.” He’d rather her hate him and misunderstand him than upset her, or possibly set off a relapse. A good chunk of the book is like that. (And truly, fear of another psychotic break is … a good reason to not clarify things. Especially in a time when psychology basically was an unknown.)

We also have people facing the consequences of their actions. Jinghua is selfish and spoiled, so even when she’s not the one causing problems, a lot of the time Hanxiao thinks she is/was the issue. (Actually most of these things never truly become problems, because he’s so indulgent, that even if she’s wrong, he’s like “my wife is never wrong, and even if she is … no she isn’t” and sides with her.) There’s one such instance where he doesn’t believe servants are mistreating her because in his mind they’re all just subordinates, and even he defers to her ~always, so how would his underlings ever even dare to not treat her with the utmost respect? Which . Guy. But there are a lot of times where he did so much for Jinghua, and never told her, so she just doesn’t appreciate it. She does truly love him though, and is willing to give him her everything, and would never leave him. Prior to the start of the book there had been a time where she might have, but that window closed quickly.

Honestly, my most favorite character in the book is Jinghua’s older brother – but unfortunately he’s only in a tiny fraction of the book. (He offers to take her away …)

Seven Years is a really compelling story, and it really pushed my “who are you to judge” boundaries. We have a few couples where the inside and outside perspective is totally different. (And they all resolve nicely too, so I appreciated that.) A common line or variations of it was “You are not a fish, so how can you enjoy the fish’s happiness?” And I found it interesting that these various characters would urge the other to change or leave, but the other person wouldn’t, because they were where they wanted to be in life.

It’s not an easy journey of growth and relationship development, with a lot of difficult outside factors and obstacles too. He becomes the emperor in chapter 107, and there are some cold wars between them that take place that finally get them to talk and change. As I said, when the book ended I was like “noooooo.” I’d definitely be willing to read more books by this author. I actually liked the other book (Years After the Substitute Marriage) by her more, but I’m not mad at all I read this one. So much food for thought! A toxic book that … works. What a ride.

(Oh erm I feel like I should note I read this book via google translate so there’s that too. I’m pretty sure I caught any errors, but, you know.)

Grade: C-