Butterflyfish

And God bless the men and women serving overseas that they may come home safe to their families....

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Clownfish says this as part of his prayers every night. This morning I was flipping past CNN news on the way to whatever mommy-approved kid programming dreck I could find on cable when Clownfish said:

CF: "Are those guys serving overseas?"

CNN was showing some soldiers in Afghanistan, laying down some machine gun fire.

Me: "Yes. That's who you pray for every night."

Tonight, we were putting him to bed when he said:

CF: "Papa, I saw some guys serving overseas on television."

I briefly filled in the context.

CF: "That's where you were when I was two? You missed my second birthday party."

Bullshark: "Yes. When I left you were just a little guy... you couldn't even hold a spoon correctly. When I came back, you were a big two year old."

CF: "I think serving overseas is more important than going to parties."

______________________________
This happened on 11/1/09. I post-dated it for Veteran's Day because it seemed appropriate.

Edited to add: In light of the recent tragedy at Ft. Hood, maybe we'll have to change our prayer to protect service people everywhere, even when they're supposedly safe here in CONUS.

The amazing things I discover through Twitter...

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:54:00 +0000

Let it get to the first chorus at least... starts a little rough. I think this is absolutely amazing. I've played it like five times already.

Beat It by Pomplamoose Music

If you like it, they also do covers of

Single Ladies
and
Mrs. Robinson.

They do original stuff too which I'll check out after I finish checking out the covers.

MILP #123: "One, Two, Three... I love counting! Ah ah ah." ~ The Count

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 11:16:00 +0000

One! One scary wampire! Ah ah ah! Out Law Mama.
Oscar the Grouch. Rayne of Terror.
Cookies make everything better. COOKIES! Ohm nom nom nom nom... Legally Certifiable.
SUPer Grover has taken to protecting Boston pumpkins, obviously. Googiebaba.
I think Lag Liv wishes she could 'nest' like Big Bird.
I'll bet I can get Mr. Snuffleupagus to 'accidentally' sit on this guy. Jenny
Baby Bear! And you know what else?
LEO can teach Telly Monster a thing or two about anxiety.
Maybe she should try dressing up as Abby Cadabby? Fairy wings and short skirt? Cee. . . . . Wow, that was so wrong. So, so wrong. I am gonna stop now.

This post was brought to you by the letter B and the number 9.

Share your favorite Sesame Street moment in the comments!!

For example, anyone else remember Alastair Cookie, particularly Gone with the Wind? I had no idea how funny that was when I was kid.

And if anyone mentions the abomination that is Murray and that he gets an extended bit each episode in the modern Sesame Street era, I will go Kermit the Frog on you (skip to about 1:30).

____________________________
If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at our sites.Expecting Moms in law school are welcome! Hat tip as always to the “original” Roundup — Evan Schaeffer’s Legal Underground and his co-rounder-upper, Nobody!
Bah, the Kermit clip was not the one I wanted, but you take what you can get on Youtube.

I don't want to live on the moon

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 11:50:00 +0000

I was sworn at yesterday. No wait, I was sworn in. It was nice -- a little pomp and circumstance-y, but who doesn't like a little pomp and circumstance now and again?

I like my job. Every morning when I park at the garage and walk through the streets of the city to my office, I feel good. I feel good about the work I am doing, I feel good about the hours, I feel good about my co-workers, I even feel good about the coffee I am drinking. If you haven't been preparing for the apocalypse, by the way, you'd best start. Me drinking coffee is a sign of the end times. I am sure of it. My suddenly hating chocolate wouldn't be any more unlikely then my enjoying coffee. The Sesame Street Google pages make me happy. Things are good at home. Clownfish is as awesome as ever.

So it sounds like I'm happy, right? Well, its true I'm happier.

But I still suffer from depression and though I haven't been on meds in a long time, I have days that .... . You know, it was easier to write about this when life sucked more. It was easier to feel somehow justified in my feelings. Intellectually, I know how depression works, but in my heart??? In my heart I blame myself, in my heart I am a bad person, in my heart I don't deserve any of the good that has come my way recently or ever. . . . it was hard to write that and I don't want to write about this anymore.

I'll just end with this, my favorite song from Sesame Street, as sung by Ernie.

Well, I'd like to visit the moon
On a rocket ship high in the air
Yes, I'd like to visit the moon
But I don't think I'd like to live there
Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above
I would miss all the places and people I love
So although I might like it for one afternoon
I don't want to live on the moon

I'd like to travel under the sea
I could meet all the fish everywhere
Yes, I'd travel under the sea
But I don't think I'd like to live there
I might stay for a day there if I had my wish
But there's not much to do when your friends are all fish
And an oyster and clam aren't real family
So I don't want to live in the sea

I'd like to visit the jungle, hear the lions roar
Go back in time and meet a dinosaur
There's so many strange places I'd like to be
But none of them permanently

So if I should visit the moon
Well, I'll dance on a moonbeam and then
I will make a wish on a star
And I'll wish I was home once again
Though I'd like to look down at the earth from above
I would miss all the places and people I love
So although I may go I'll be coming home soon
'Cause I don't want to live on the moon
No, I don't want to live on the moon

The wisdom of five year olds

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:09:00 +0000

Me: Rawr!

Clownfish: You don't roar as big as Papa. Its cuz you're not a boy.

Me: Aww, I want to be a boy.

Clownfish: You can't change nature. Well, except trees. Oh, and for birthdays.

MILP #122

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:19:00 +0000

Tricks and treats at Atty Work Product.

Back here next week.

Getting lovey dovey

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:43:00 +0000

Bullshark, to me:

You're like a Slinky. It would give me great satisfaction to push you down the stairs.

Yep. Lotta love here. Lotta love.

The revenge of I love you

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 10:22:00 +0000

Magic Cookie's latest adorable post reminded me to post this. We still have the "I love you more than..." debates - planets, numbers, food. But sometimes, he loves me a little less than Jupiter.

Case in point:

Clownfish did not want to go to bed last night. He was obviously sad about it. I asked him how he felt. He stomped his feet a little and said:

"Mad. At YOU."
"Well, sometimes we feel mad when we don't get our way."
"Mad. Mad. Mad. You make me mad." * stomp stomp *
* Proceeds to get into bed doing his night-time routine as usual but with a little punch of mad-itude. *
"I love you. Hugs and kisses time."
* Proceeds to grab me and pin my head down into the mattress. Strong little bugger. *
"Ok, sweetie, time to let mommy go."
"Oh, Mommy... are you mad because you didn't get your way?" * Laughs hysterically *

MILP #121

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 09:53:00 +0000

PtLawmom had the Roundup, here.

Achievement

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 12:33:00 +0000

Clownfish can make it all the way across the monkey bars at the playground!

Edited to add, according to Clownfish: TWO TIMES!!!!

Stolen Lines #7

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:17:00 +0000

I think it is worst if you don't know whether it is a good thing or a bad thing which is going to happen.

*ring*

"Butterflyfish, [the boss] would like to see you in her office."

Umm. Shit. I didn't do a stellar job on that last memo. It absolutely wasn't up to my usual caliber. Why didn't I take another hour on it? This might not be about the memo at all though. What else could it be? Ok, if I know I am about to get my ass chewed out, I can brace for it. Imagine something happy so you don't get all red-faced. That look sooo doesn't suit you.

I just wish I didn't have to do this little walk of shame through nosy cubeville first.

"I'll be right there."

God she's scary. She's like a dragon lady in a pencil skirt. It's the long fingernails, the way she holds her hands and makes them *click*, the way she smiles with her mouth but not her eyes. The word intimidating was invented for her. And she's shorter than I am.

I think it is worst if you don't know whether it is a good thing or a bad thing which is going to happen.

She called [uptight co-worker] back there last week and [uptight co-worker] came back with a red blotchy face. Then again, she also called [punk in khaki's] back there last week and he was commended for not f**king up a simple procedural thing. Passing cubicles, hoping no one notices . . . no such luck.

"Lunch this early? Beating the thai food rush?"

"Nope, the boss wants to see me. Dun dunn dunnnn."

"Huh... that's either good or terrible, right?"

*thanks, asshole khaki boy* "Let's hope for good."

*doubtful tone* "Hmmm. Well, you know its bad when she tells you to close the door."

*doubtful tone* "Hmmm. Good to know." *She always has people close the door. Dipshit*

Ugh, the prairie dogging has begun.

"You going for thai food? I heard someone say thai food."

"No, she's been summoned to the lair."

"Oh, shit dude. Dun dun dunnn."

"Ha, she just said that."

*walking on*

"Butterflyfish, close the door please. Have a seat." *click click*

* * *

*Walking back through the cubefarm, still a little dazed, suppressing a smile.*

"Hey, [khaki boy]. You're next. Dunn dunn dunn."

NB: This story may or may not be true, people, places, and events may or may not have been changed to protect the innocent and guilty alike, and may or may not be how I found out I passed the bar exam.

_________________________________________
I stole this line from The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon. For more stolen lines, see Grace. This prompt has not been a huge hit so far, and my own post is kind of lame. Of course you know what that means. That's right, I picked the line.

MILP #120: M'm, M'm, Good!

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:30:00 +0000

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts. Next week is Pt-Lawmom.

This week's theme: Advertising slogans
The king of beers? The Un-Cola? Don't leave home without it?
Famous corporate slogans, the product of Madison Avenue, have a tendency to stick with us, sometimes long after we've forgotten to what products they actually belong. Today, I am appropriating some slogans and applying them to blog posts. Without further adeiu, I present a post that is Good to the Last Drop.

Is it real or is it [Lawyerdom]? Out Law Mama.
Celebrate the moments of your life. Atty Work Product.
Snap! Crackle! Pop! JD Wannabe.
Nothin' says lovin' like somethin' [in] the oven. Lag Liv.
Quality is Job 1. Magic Cookie
Just do it. Googiebaba.
No More Tears. Merits of the Case.
Where's the beef? Starting to Melt.
Let your fingers do the walking. And you know what else?
Something special in the air. Better together.
How do you spell relief? PtLawmom

__________________________________________________
If you’d like to have your blog added to the MILP blogroll for weekly review or would like us to consider a specific post, drop the hostess(es) an email or leave a comment at our sites.Expecting Moms in law school are welcome! Hat tip as always to the “original” Roundup — Evan Schaeffer’s Legal Underground and his co-rounder-upper, Nobody!

Companies, in order from the post: Campbell's soup, Budweiser, 7-Up, American Express, Maxwell House Coffee.
Bullets: Memorex, General Foods International Coffees, Rice Crispies, Pillsbury, Ford, Nike, Johnson's Baby Shampoo, Wendy's, Yellow Pages, American Airlines, Rolaids.

Balance

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 10:09:00 +0000

Not the usual kind of 'balance' we mommy lawyers write about. Karmic balance. Take for example, my friend. She found out she passed the bar exam and character & fitness, so she decided to hit a casino and walked away several hundred dollars richer. Winning streak ended when she broke a bone the next day playing a pick up game of basketball.

I have had a similarly good streak: I also passed the bar exam and character & fitness; I have a great job this year and a great job lined up for next year and I am pretty damn happy about that; I had a birthday last week and have an anniversary this weekend; and my son and husband are awesome.

So where's the balance?

I planned to have a Columbus Day like Magic Cookie's. Instead I ended up in the emergency room. Ridiculous pain in my back from an unknown source, unable to keep down food or pain medicine, etc. My only really good local friend and fellow mommy took Clownfish while I drove myself to the hospital at seven in the morning after two hours or so of suffering with pain and fear and nausea. Diagnosis: kidney stones. Same age my dad was when he got his first. Doc told me to stop drinking tea. I drink tea like its my job -- iced tea, hot tea, green tea, black tea. It is my go to beverage. I am completely fine, lucky, it could have been worse, etc. But no tea plus crazy pain?

I think balance has been restored.

Charlie Brown finally kicks the ball and other stuff you never thought you'd see

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 23:54:00 +0000

Lucy brought her best game, but he kicked it anyway.

Peanuts - Charles M. Schultz - © 2005, United Feature Syndicate, Inc.

I never thought when I started this arc that over a year later I would write this post. But here it is. Good news comes by phone, bad news by mail. I got the call. I am gainfully employed doing exactly what I had hoped to be doing this year... starting sometime next year.

There are downsides and challenges and I definitely feel conflicted in a huge way about aspects of this whole thing. But I will have plenty of time to worry about all that later.

Let's go with the emotions of the moment, other than conflicted, like: Jubilation. Humbled. Grateful. Happy. Blessed. Relieved. Satisfied.

Thanks, everyone, for coming along on the ride so far, and for being supportive and awesome. It means a lot to me.

And of course, thanks especially to my Bullshark and Clownfish and professors and "real life" friends and family who never let me give up on myself.

_________________________________________
If you're a new reader, you might think I have a really unhealthy obsession with the Peanuts gang. I don't. This moment has just been a long time coming and a little off hand comment in one post written long ago has turned into a bit of an arc, a thread running through a series of blog posts, that lead to today.
Also, yeah, I totally gave Lucy a black eye.

MILP #119

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 13:02:00 +0000

Proto Attorney had the round up.

Back here next week.

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

Passed

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 13:08:00 +0000

One bar down, one to go. Call me Esquire.

Image credit

Masters degree

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 00:14:00 +0000

Clownfish is starting ice skating lessons soon.

"Mommy, [friend] already knows how to ice skate. She's starting hockey."
I know honey. You're going to learn to skate this season and we'll look at hockey next season.
"But friend is going to be a MASTER hockey player by the time I start."
That's ok. People are good at different things and start them at different times. You are a master with your musical instruments, for example. And your letters.
"Papa is a master with his light saber."
True . . . so what is mommy a master of?
"Love."

Nice to know I have a fallback option if the whole 'passing the bar' thing doesn't work out

In my defense, I've never worked in a cubicle environment before. Also, I apparently never acquired common sense or basic social awareness skills

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:13:00 +0000

I had my first cubicle phone call today, and it was unexpected, and I had to argue with someone about something... respectfully of course. Followed with obligatory discussion about the other party's upcoming vacation.

I talked in my normal... oh, perhaps even a touch too loud... voice with the person on the other end. For about ten minutes. In a cube farm.

I am an asshole.

MILP #118

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 10:12:00 +0000

PtLawmom had the Roundup. Proto Attorney will have it on Sunday. Check back here in two weeks.

Meanwhile, I had a birthday yesterday. I'm officially in You kids turn down your music and get off my lawn territory.

Currently reading: Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss. (Late to the party, I know).

The Weekly MILP (Moms In the Legal Profession) Roundup is hosted on a rotating basis between PT-LawMom, Butterflyfish, and Attorney Work Product blogs. We originally rounded up just the moms in law school, but then discovered that those women eventually graduate. Who knew? So now all the moms in the legal field (heh) are represented. We aim for Sunday posts.

That bitch Lucy better get a face mask. The train is coming through..

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 23:18:00 +0000

Long time readers may remember last fall when I had an interview that I described like this:

And I kind of feel like Charlie Brown kicking the football... the happy running part when he deludes himself into thinking maybe, just maybe Lucy won't pull the ball away this time. Maybe.

It didn't end up working out. Then I ended up in the job I have and I am so very happy, so very blessed. But this gig isn't permanent, and I'll need a new plan next fall.

So I applied for the football job again. And I have an interview lined up.

I am in a much better place than I was last year. Because now I really do believe that sometimes when things don't work out the way we want them to, they still work out the way they are supposed to. So I'm going to try again.

Bring it, Lucy.

Hi fellow bloggers, readers, and anyone else passing through...

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 10:29:00 +0000

My bloglines has a category I called Substantive Law filled with the "serious" law blogger & law prof posts. It is always the only one unread.

I'd much rather read my webcomics, and the blogs from the 1Ls, who aren't freaking out yet, at least not sufficiently. It is October, kids!! Get your panic on!! I'd also much rather read the other MILPs and the other law school/lawyer blogs that I follow.

I haven't found a way to write about work in a way that won't get me fired, so that's off limits. I spend less time with Clownfish, so I am short on cuteness. In my draft folder, I have several posts that I have begun but not posted because they're all memes, shameless comment whoring, random movie quotes, and the like. There is one of substance in which I wonder about my career path, but I am happily taking my job one day at a time and am not reflecting too much on where I want to be in two or five years... so its not done.

Feeling short on inspiration, but I imagine it is only temporary.

Irony

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:47:00 +0000

"I look forward to a world where I am judged, not by my placement of commas, but by the content of my brief."

I wrote that on this blog sometime during 1L, quoting a classmate.

In my current job, improper comma placement is a capital offense.

And now I actually enjoy the Bluebook... in that Stockholm-syndrome way.

MILP #117: That's What I was Thinking Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:39:00 +0000

I believe you, Dakota, really... I'm not at all *twitching* here either... Outlaw mama.
Contracts is probably a lot easier the second time around. Proto Attorney.
That feeling never really went away til after I took the bar. Newlawmom
This is hard but I imagine the alternative was worse. JD Wannabe.
"You're a cookie monster! I'm a cookie!!" Magic Cookie
I wish I really could be a lawyer and a princess. Mom and Law Student
Carnie bitch needs to get kicked by a carousel pony. Starting to Melt.
Purple tushie! And you know what else.
Dogs and cats living together mass hysteria. Legally certifiable.
Smile! Rayne of Terror.
Unsmile. PtLawmom.

"So maybe I made up the law...but I applied the hell out of it."

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 03:29:00 +0000

Waiting on bar exam results sucks.

______________________________
Also, so this post isn't just one sentence long, advice I recently gave my friend about bar review:

I signed up for BarBri in 3L spring after the public interest auction because I bought my course there. (I didn’t save much – probably what I would have paid had I signed up as a 1L, but I was happy to see half my money go to the auction and only the rest go to the anti-christ). I wanted to have the balls to say NO to BarBri ... taped lectures, huge books, awful pricing practices (we raise our rates annually even though the market doesn't demand it!), evil additional fees adding on to every service that should absolutely by included... but in the end, I chickened out and went with BarBri. They’re good at what they do. I didn’t do any of the “extra” lectures or “extra” essay grading they try to lure you in with, and I don’t think it hurt me at all. But I can’t imagine having done it without them.

The problem with praise

noreply@blogger.com (Butterflyfish) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 11:20:00 +0000

Boss: I tried to find something wrong with this memo. I couldn't. Excellent job.

So now I am thinking, great, there is no way I can avoid disappointing her with my next memo. And she probably didn't mean it. And remember that citation error she found in the last memo? I am making a horrible impression and I am going to be the one they talk about for years to come about how horrible she was and I fail at life.

Ok, some of that is an exaggeration because I am in a much better place than I have been in a long time. I am trying not to be a person who only believes the negatives and never the positives about herself. I find it very difficult to break a lifetime of negative internal dialogue.

But I am trying.