Stress. It’s all too common in today’s society. Sometimes stressful situations are thrust upon us and sometimes we put ourselves into stressful situations.

What do you do to help calm yourself down and motivate yourself when you are facing tough times? When you just have to plow through and get though to the other side?

There are many situations that we face where phrases or sayings help motivate us to take that first step into the unknown.

You know those stressful situations that everyone seems to go through as rite-of-passages?  Situations such as:

• The job interview where you desperately need the job.
• When you have butterflies in your stomach right before you ask out that pretty girl/handsome guy. Or worse, before meeting up with a blind date.
• Right before you walk into a room full of strangers. (Who you just know are going to be funnier, cooler and much better-looking than you)
• When you get up to give an important speech in front of a bunch of VIPs (or ANY speech in front of ANY one)
• When you go into salary negotiations or when you are ready to ask for a raise.
• When you go into the boss’s office and hand in your 2-week notice. (The butterflies are fighting with exhilaration here)
• Right before you go into the doctor’s or dentist’s office
• For some writers, right before you hit the ‘Publish” or ‘Send’ button on your first article.
• In any scary, stressful or first-time situation you find yourself.

Motivational sayings and phrases have power. They have the power to push you through your fears and calm yourself down in times of stress.

Inspired by this post at MetaFilter, here are some common motivational phrases from people who face similar stressful situations. They tell themselves:

• “Ok. Deep breath. Shoulders back, head up. You can do this. Go!”
• “Don’t panic. You can do this!”
• “Don’t fuck this up.”
• “They can’t eat me.”
• “I’m not afraid to die.”
• “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone-it! people like me!”
• “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.”
• “What’s the worst that can happen?”
• “Will this matter in 5 minutes, 5 days or 5 years?”
• “Help me Jesus.”
• “Time to put on your big girl pants.”
• “I am a river… I flow.”
• “Never give up, never surrender!”
• “C’mon, you can do *anything* for an hour.”
• “Millions of people do this every day. I can do this, too.”
• “What’s the worst that can happen?”
• “Let’s just get it over with. 3-2-1 GO!”
• “It’s gonna be alright.”
• “Proceed and be bold.”
• “Go ahead and kill me, but I doubt you will succeed where so many others have failed.”
• “No one cares about you.”

I had a pretty stressful morning at work the other day. You know the ones I’m talking about -  the one where it’s Monday morning and you had a hard enough time motivating yourself to get up to go to work and then something happens and you wonder why you just don’t walk out the door? The temptation is SO strong, but you know that while the momentary thrill of quitting on the spot would be SO wonderful, but you just have to tough it out because you have long-term plans and like to eat.

In those kind of situations, my go-to phrase is always “This, too shall pass”. I’m old enough and have had enough experiences in my life to realize that nothing lasts forever. This phrase helps me to put stressful situations into perspective. I repeat this phrase to myself and the feelings of wanting to walk out the door slowly dissipate. I can then manage to get through another day.

It would be so easy to give in to the voice of our fears when we are facing difficult or stressful situations.  The problem with giving in though is that if you give in and admit defeat, you start to let other fears creep into your life and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

In your own mind you are telling yourself that you are not strong enough to beat the fear back and you give in to it. You don’t ask the girl/guy out. You don’t ask for the job or the raise. In fact, you don’t even ask for the job. You have fears about giving that speech or going to the doctors and when you give into the fears, your life becomes just a little smaller.

Other fears start to surface and soon enough, you are fearful of any stressful situation and your confidence becomes nil.

That’s why it’s so important to have a couple of phrases that will push through your fear in stressful situations in order to motivate yourself and strengthen your confidence muscles.

If you don’t have a motivational phrase that works for you, use any of the one’s here or find one that really works for you. Have a couple for various situations.

Another one of my favourite motivational phrases, when I’m really scared to do something even when I know that I have to do it because it will most likely help me, is “I CAN DO THIS!” (Yes, I shout it out. You have to say it with passion and conviction. Clenching your fists also helps). I vividly remembering using this phrase the first time I walked into a nightclub where they were teaching salsa dancing. I wanted to learn how to salsa dance and no one would take classes with me. I also had to use it the first time I showed up at the nightclub to dance on a Friday night alone. Talk about a scary and stressful situation!

Depending on the situation, I’ll also say to myself  “I’ll handle it“. This one is really useful when you are lacking confidence and are scared of the outcome of taking an action. Knowing that I’ll handle, to the best of my ability, any result that happens usually calms me down enough to take the necessary step in spite of my fears.

This is a great one, too (if you have a good memory):

The Bene Gesserit (from Dune) Litany against fear:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

How do you motivate yourself? What phrases or sayings do you use to motivate yourself to push through your fears in stressful situations? Share with us by leaving a comment. Thanks!

Related Posts:

1. An Important Exercise To Help You Create The Life You Want
2. The Secret Stress Buster No One Dares Tell You About – Guest Post
3. From Homeless To The Infopreneur – Guest Post
4. Warning: Following These 5 Tips May Get You Out Of Your Rut
5. How To Stop Thinking And Start Doing – Guest Post

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How To Motivate Yourself In Times Of Stress is from A Meaningful Existence

I’ve been thinking more and more about what it means to be happy and think I’ve come up with 5 keys that are pretty universal to being happy.

“Don’t worry, be happy.” – Bobby McFerrin

1. Know that you deserve to be happy

“Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.” ~ Horace

You have to believe that you deserve happiness as a birthright and that any struggles that you are going through are momentary distractions. Of course, we can’t go around with the attitude that every day will  be JoyJoy day or walk around with a stupid grin on our faces. But, I do believe that happiness is a natural state for humans.

If you are having a problem believing that you deserve to be happy, I suggest writing as one of your goals in your goals book “I am happy and I deserve to be happy”. Writing this sentence down, even when you don’t believe it today, will focus your mind on being happy and away from unhappiness.

You can also do what I did and write down a list of things that make you happy so that you can refer back to the list when you think that you don’t deserve happiness in your life. Here’s my 100 Things That Make Me Happy. What’s on your list?

Let today be first day of the rest of your life has a happy person.

2. Take personal responsibility for all your choices in life

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” ~ Denis Waitley

Happiness is a choice. Everyone can choose to be happy or to choose to increase their happiness level. How long will you keep blaming others for choices you’ve made in your life? Anyone over the age of 18 is an adult and doesn’t have the right to blame their parents or their circumstances anymore.  You don’t need to waste the rest of your life or your energy being a victim. Take personal responsibility for everything in your life and trust yourself to choose those things that will result in your happiness.

Tal Ben-Shahar wrote in his book, Happier, that people often think something or someone in the future will allow them to be happy. Or they blame circumstances of their past. Ben-Shahar says that people must live in the now and “rather than allowing ourselves to remain enslaved by our past or future we must learn to make the most of what is presently in front of us and all around us.”

When you stop blaming others and take responsibility for all the decisions in your life, you free yourself so that you can be on your true path in life. One with happiness.

3. Increase your social connections

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Maya Angelou

Studies have shown that people who have close personal connections with other people feel happier with their lives. There’s something to be said for being able to be with people who make you feel good about yourself and your choices in life. Being surrounded by people who support you alleviates your stress levels and makes you feel like you can share your uniqueness with others.

Surround yourself with people who are positive influences in your life. Eliminate (or at least limit) the amount of negative people in your life. They’ll only suck the life and happiness right out of you. Be with those  who uplift you. If you are feeling lonely, try to increase your friendship circle so that you have close friends that you can count on when you need a boost.

4. Don’t compare yourself or your life to anyone else’s

“Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else” – Judy Garland

It’s very hard not to compare ourselves with others. People are consciously or unconsciously blowing their own horns all the time in an effort to be validated. I see the biggest egos on Twitter – tweets that people write in 140 characters or less how wonderful their lives are or what a wonderful adventure their live is. It must be wonderful to have such wonderful lives (rolls eyes). But, of course people are not going to write about the mundaneness of their lives. Who wants to read that? So, they blow up the most minute thing or event in their day. It’s all a mirage.

You will lose when you compare yourself to others. There will always be someone else who is getting more of <insert your comparison factor here>. No matter what you do, you can’t win every match. It will start to affect your actions in life because you are thinking how you can ‘win’ against someone else’s life choices.

It can be a vicious cycle and will only lead to unhappiness. In order to be happy, stop playing the game.

When you stop comparing yourself to others and start living your own life, your happiness and satisfaction of your choices will increase. You will realize that you are good enough as you are.

5. Expect good things to happen to you

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.” – James Oppenheim

Happy people are optimists and optimists are happy people. When we expect good things to happen in our lives, guess what happens? Good things happen because we are in a state of mindful expectation of those good things. Your optimistic beliefs will govern your actions. When you are feeling optimistic about your life and of other people in it, don’t you think it would result in happiness? Walk around with a scowl all day long, be in a bad mood while pushing people away because you think they’ll just hurt or disappoint you, and see if you can be happy. I bet you can’t attract happiness with that attitude.

Happy people want to be around other happy people. When you have the expectation that most people are good and that life can be great, you’ll be on the lookout for good things to enter your life. Your consciousness and attractiveness will then lead to choices that will result in feelings of happiness.

Expecting good things to happen to you becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you expect good things to happen, the more good things happen to you. Don’t you think that will result in more happiness to you?

What are your thoughts? Are you ready to adopt some of these keys so that you will have more happiness in your life?

Related Posts:

1. 50 Inspirational Quotes
2. Stop Lying To Yourself
3. Do You Need To Let Go And Forgive?
4. Are You Being Your True Authentic Self
5. What Are You Waiting For?

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The Five Keys To Happiness is from A Meaningful Existence

It’s been a while since I had one of my Friday’s Links articles and I thought it was about time that I shared some great articles that are definitely share-worthy.

First up is Glen Allsopp from ViperChill who wrote a pretty in-depth article called Living Self-Employed Online: The Manual They Forgot To Give You. In this very extensive article, Glen provides 13 lessons from 18 months of self-employment. Glen has been a master at his marketing and niche website craft for several years now and provides so much fantastic information on blogging. I  have learned a lot from his articles and if you haven’t discovered his site by now, you owe it to yourself to check out his writings. I always learn something new every time he deems to write an article, which is usually one per week. He’s a very busy guy and is one of the people who is definitely walking his talk online.

Next is Henri’s article from Wake Up Cloud who wrote on a similar theme to Glen in his article Debunking Myths: 13 Untruths About Being Successful Online Destroyed. Henri has been making a living on the internet for a few years now and certainly has a way with words. I really appreciated this article because it shows you what some of the myths that Henri and others have debunked to make a living online. Henri is also someone who is definitely walking the talk, too.

I loved this quote from Raam Dev at his site, Raamdev.com:

So ask yourself, what have you failed at recently? If the answer is nothing, then you’re probably not pushing yourself hard enough. If you haven’t made any mistakes or learned any big lessons lately, then you’re probably playing it too safe.

This quote was from Raam’s article called Fear of Failure as a Barometer for Success. I love articles like these that make me think about how I’m living my life and what I can do to take some risks in my own life. I have taken some big risks is my life lately, but the fear of failure is always there lurking in the corner of my mind. We shouldn’t be coasting through life being scared of failure. Without failure, we wouldn’t have a chance for success.

Speaking of fear, Tim Brownson (actually Tim informed me that it was John Strelecky who wrote the article) from A Daring Adventure wrote a very powerful article called It Should Never Come To This about the choices we have in life. It may seem like we don’t have choices and that our present circumstances will always be the same, but that’s a fallacy. We all have choices, if we can only see them. While the article is definitely not one of Tim’s more uplifting ones, it’s very thought-provoking and motivational. I feel such sympathy for people who are left after their loved one’s have taken their own lives.

And now for something completely different, Jean over at Virgin Blogger Notes had a special guest post from Arvind Devalia who wrote 12 Reasons Why Bloggers Make The Best Lovers. I had to laugh at the reasons and I’m sure that you will find them pretty humourous (and true), too! I thought that this was pretty cheeky:

And if you are single and looking for a lover, surely it’s high time you hooked up with a blogger?

Of course it’s all true. Oh, by the way, in case you don’t know, I’m single

Go check the articles out for this week and let me know what you think of them by leaving a comment. Thanks!

Related Posts:

1. 4 Best And Worst Things About Being An Entrepreneur – Guest Post
2. The Secret Stress Buster No One Dares Tell You About – Guest Post
3. From Homeless To The Infopreneur – Guest Post
4. Succeeding Means Loving Yourself – Guest Post
5. How To Stop Thinking And Start Doing – Guest Post

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to my feed to have all the future articles delivered to your feed reader. Thanks!

Friday’s Links is from A Meaningful Existence

The title of this post was inspired by Steve Jobs. When I’m looking for inspiration, I like to check out difference sources and found this video on Youtube that really made me think. 

It’s always interesting to read the biography of people like Steve Jobs, who overcame so much and has made such a difference in people’s lives.

I remember oh-so-long-ago working on obtaining my Geography/GIS degree in university which required hours and hours in front of a Mac (this was the Mac Classic).  That was my first real introduction to computers. It’s hard to believe how much 0f my life energy I’ve spent in front of a computer.

It interesting to find out that perhaps we owe the aesthetics of the Mac’s typography to Steve taking a calligraphy class during his college days.

Here’s an excerpt of his Commencement Speech at Stanford which I think is pretty thought-provoking:

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

Don’t settle. Keep looking.

No one wants to die. At yet, no one escapes it.

Death is life’s change agent.

Right now, the change is you. Your time is limited so don’t live it living someone else’s life.

Enjoy the video (if you can’t see the embedded video, use this link):

Related Posts:

1. My Top 5 Secret Success Factors
2. The Only Words You’ll Need To Overcome Your Fears
3. 10 Things You Can Do Right Now To Improve Your Life
4. Do You Need To Let Go and Forgive?
5. Are You Being Your True Authentic Self?

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to my feed to have all the future articles delivered to your feed reader. Thanks!

Avoid The Trap Of Thinking You Have Something To Lose is from A Meaningful Existence

It’s finally here! I’m finally ready to send out into the world my first ebook, Just For Today Challenge – 31 Days To A Better You.

Many of my oldest and most loyal readers will recognize the title of this book as it formed the basis of a series of posts that I did back in January. For 31 days, I wrote an post about what you can do Just For Today to make a change in your life.

I had such wonderful feedback from so many people telling me how they absolutely loved the Challenge and what a difference it made in their lives.

The Challenge was in contrast to New Year’s Resolutions (we all know those never work) and I wanted to give people the confidence that they could make a change in their lives one day at a time.

Everyone can stick with a change for one day.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and know that you need to make some changes in your life, but you don’t know where to start, this ebook is written for you.

There are 31 actionable (but relatively easy) tasks that you can do each day to start making changes in your life. When you see yourself checking off each day’s Challenge, you will be building momentum in your life to make more changes.

I’ve updated, expanded and provided 9 templates to help you complete the Challenges.

By completing the 31 Days of Challenges, your confidence will soar. You will have been exposed to things that you might not have ever thought of doing before and you will be filled with confidence that YOU can make a change in your life.

These Challenges will be minor tweaks that you will be able to build upon for the entire 31 days, day by day. The idea is not to overwhelm you, but give you something that you can accomplish Just For Today.

How long will you wait until you start taking action to make a change to A Better You?

The ebook is 100 pages long and it’s only $27.  You can buy the ebook through Paypal by clicking here to buy now for an instant download.

Even if you only adopt one change and make it lasting in your life - if that change makes you feel better about yourself, then it’s worth it.

The best time to start making last changes was yesterday, the next best time is now.

Just For Today Challenge – 31 Days To A Better You eBook Launch is from A Meaningful Existence

There are so many different reasons why I blog, but I wanted to highlight the Top Five Reasons Why I Blog:

1. To create something meaningful

It would be so easy to just come home from work and just sit in front of the TV each evening. It takes A LOT of work, sacrifice and dedication to start and continue with a blog. But, I receive a sense of personal satisfaction knowing that I’m creating something meaningful with my time and energy. There is a lot of other things that I could be doing with my time and energy, but I choose to blog because it is more meaningful to me to write and share my experiences and knowledge with others. I look back at how far the site has come and it’s been an amazing growth experience. Knowing that I’ve also touched people’s lives and have helped them has given what I do with my time more meaning.

2. To meet people from all over the world

Bloggers are an amazing bunch of people. Of course, everyone has their own personal reasons for blogging, but overall the sense of community is fantastic. I’ve met some absolutely wonderful and amazing people online from all over the world and have been exposed to things that I wouldn’t normally be exposed to. Some of the emails that I’ve received from readers have blown me away with their insights and the life experiences that they are willing to share with me. Being able to connect with others and learn from them is a major reason why I continue blogging.

3. To share what I’ve learned in my own life with others

I’m not here to solve everyone’s problems, but to share those things that have worked in my life or the experiences that I’m struggling with in the hope of inspiring and motivating others. If something that I’ve written has helped someone else not to struggle like I have in my life, then it’s all been worth it. Of course, there are things in my life that won’t translate to someone else’s circumstances, but there are other experiences that are universal. I love sharing my knowledge and experiences with other people who can use that information to change their own lives for the better.

4. To increase my skills and learn new things

I’m a firm believer in continuous education, whether that’s formal or informal. I love to learn and try new things. Since I had blogged for about a year back in 2005-2006, I thought I know a lot about blogging, but things have really changed technology-wise since back then. Not only is my writing skills increasing, but I’m also learning so much more – programming, design, SEO, marketing, communicating, analytical thinking, etc. I’m learning so much on my own and from others – the community spirit is amazing because of course there’s too much to know for one person. It’s amazing what new skills you pick up without even realizing it. My writing skills have increased tremendously from blogging and I’ve noticed the difference from when I first started to today. Of course, I’m always learning so I’m always improving, too.

5. To inspire and be inspired

Before blogging, I was somewhat satisfied with my life. I thought that I knew what I wanted out of life and what I was willing to do in order to get it. Blogging and writing about personal development (something that I’ve been interested in for over 15 years) has inspired me to demand more from myself and not to be satisfied with the status quo. I am so inspired by reading other people’s blogs and what they are doing with their lives. Things that I thought were out of reach for me, now seem absolutely possible. We never know what life has in store for us, but until we strive to reach for something, we won’t know the possibilities out there. I just hope that my writing has inspired people as much as I’ve been inspired. It’s the circle of inspiration.

What about the reasons that I don’t blog for?

Here are 3 Things I Don’t Blog For

1. Money

I don’t blog for money. Sure, it’s wonderful when someone buys my product or an affiliate product and I earn a few dollars, but I’m not fooling myself into thinking that blogging will replace my current salary. With the amount of time and energy devoted to this site, I would be better off working a minimum wage job somewhere. Blogging is hard work and it is definitely not easy money.

2. Fame or Celebrity

I could care less about being famous of being a celebrity blogger. That’s not to say that it’s not nice when people think of you and link to you, but I don’t aspire to be famous for blogging.

3. Status

You can tell who are the bloggers who are really wrapped up in their ’status’ as an A-lister or wannabe A-lister. I blog for personal satisfaction and not to gain status. Having 50,000 followers on Twitter, or 5000 ‘Friends’ on Facebook, or 25,000 connections on LinkedIn doesn’t really matter to me. I value quality over quantity, every time.

Your turn. What do you blog for? What do you not blog for?

Related Posts:

1. Top 5 Reasons To Leave Your Job
2. My Top 5 Secret Success Factors
3. Invest In Your Most Important Asset – Yourself
4. 10 Things You Can Do Right Now To Improve Your Life
5. Are You Being Your True Authentic Self?

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to my feed to have all the future articles delivered to your feed reader. Thanks!

Five Reasons Why I Blog is from A Meaningful Existence

This is a guest post from Steve Scott.

Even though we’re living in a world of uncertainty and the economy is worse than it’s been in ages, most people assume that in order to be happy and successful they have to conform to society’s unwritten rules.

You know the rules I’m talking about, you might even be guilty of believing them yourself: go to college and get a good job, get married and start a family, buy a house, etc. Sadly, that little routine is drilled into our heads from childhood on, and most of us are afraid of somehow winding up with the word “Failure” tattooed across our forehead if we go against the grain and do things differently. Why are we so scared to fail??

I recently read online that college students are going into such extreme debt in order to pay for school, it’s unlikely that they’ll ever be able to make their loan payments after graduation. Grim news, but a college degree represents a golden ticket to success for most people, so it’s a risk they’re willing to take.

Sadly, college doesn’t always equal success.

A few months ago, Karen asked me to write a guest post that described how I got to the point in my life where I walked away from the rules I just described. The reason this story is important is because it shows how it IS possible to move away from what society wants and move toward what YOU want.

Here’s my story…

Inspiration from “Raiders of the Lost Ark”

When I was a kid, my favorite movie was Raiders of the Lost Ark. Why? I wanted to be like Indiana Jones so I could explore the world, too. I’ve probably seen that movie more than ten times, but it never gets old.

If you haven’t yet visited my blog, the SteveScottSite.com, you might not be aware that as I write this guest post for Karen I’m traveling through Europe. So far it hasn’t been quite as adventure-packed as Indy’s experiences were, but I’m having a blast and I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.

I’m a lucky guy because I’m honestly able to say that I’m happy with my life. There’s a reason that self-help books and advice columns are as popular as they are—most people aren’t happy with their career and their life.

My friends and family back home in New Jersey had mixed reactions when I told them I was leaving the country for a few months. Well, okay, let me be honest— they didn’t have mixed reactions, most of them thought I was downright nuts.

Personally, I don’t see what the big deal is. As long as I have access to a computer and an internet connection, I’m able to run my affiliate marketing business from anywhere in the world, which is why I see nothing wrong with travelling if I’m able to. Most of my friends back home, though, are the type of people I described in my opening paragraph—people with “normal” jobs who think success is defined by their occupation and the type of car they drive.

Inspiration from “Office Space”

I’m still a fan of Indiana Jones, but another movie I absolutely love is Office Space, because it reminds me why I used to hate my life back when I was stuck in the 9-to-5 rat race the way most of my friends are. If you’ve never seen it, you should. The movie takes a satirical look at a guy who absolutely hates his corporate job and all that it has to offer.

It’s a hilarious movie because it makes fun of every aspect of working in a cubicle all day— everything from rush-hour traffic to a boss who writes memos about memos and hand-delivers them to ensure that they’re read— without really trying too hard. It’s actually simple to make fun of things like that because they’re pretty pointless, and if you’ve ever worked in an office you’ll start cracking up because you had to deal with the same stuff at work.

I’ve been running my own business for several years now, and as I mentioned earlier I’m able to work from anywhere I choose. For the most part, things have gotten to the point that they’re almost completely automated—aside from the blog posts I write each week, of course—and I no longer have to spend forty, fifty, sixty hours a week chained to my desk. I can make my own schedule and actually get out there and enjoy my life.

Don’t mistakenly think that I live a life of leisure a la Paris Hilton or someone else who was born into millions. It took a lot of effort for me to get this far; I worked my butt off for several years. I just think it’s sad that so many people in the world hate their careers so much that they assume anyone who enjoys life must have been “lucky” somewhere along the line.

I receive a lot of emails from people asking me how I’ve gotten to the point I’m at now: working for myself and running a pretty successful business, so let me tell you a little story.

I Simply HATED My Life…

About eight years ago, I had a breakthrough moment. I was pretty much a living example of the Office Space guy, and one day while I was stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home from my “professional” job I realized something: I was sick of it all. I was sick of everything.

Looking back, I now realize that I always hated the idea of being confined to an office all day long and doing what someone else told me to do just because they were my boss, but I tried my best to conform to those “rules of society.” I didn’t want to be a failure and I wanted to make my Dad proud, but I couldn’t stand it.

I had always done everything I was supposed to do, and where had I wound up? I had graduated from high school, gone to college and graduate school, and I spent a few years in the military … looks good on paper, but even the military wasn’t as impressive as it sounds. I was in the Air Force and sometimes I was “tapped” to be a temporary augementee for the police, which meant that I got to direct traffic all day long in the 90 degrees-plus Mississippi weather.

The Day that Changed EVERYTHING

I can still remember sitting in my car that day, the day it all happened, that one specific moment where I made one of the biggest decisions of my life. It happened in an instant. I had just spent the last nine hours doing work that a trained money could have done for me, and now I was looking forward to a pleasant hour stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic, crawling home only to wake up and do it all again the next day and the day after that.

I realized that this was what I had to look forward to for the next forty years of my life, and I got furious. Normally I’m a calm, rational person, but at that very moment on that typical day, I got so angry I yelled, “Why does my life suck so much? I did everything I was supposed to do, and look where it got me!” I’m sure the people in the cars around me locked their doors and felt a little scared, but that moment was the catalyst that made me want to change my life.

Inspiration from My Favorite Book

I love to read, but of everything I’ve read in my life, my favorite book is Replay by Ken Grimwood. I’ve probably read it twenty or so times in the last decade. The premise of the book is simple: imagine if you woke up one day and got to live your life over? What would you do differently? What would you change?

In Replay, the main character, Jeff Winston, gets to live part of his life over and over and over. Every time, he chooses to do things differently.

I recommend this book to everyone I know because it makes me think about life. We can’t rewind our lives and take back the past like Jeff does in the book, but we can control our futures.

We only get one shot at getting what we want out of life. That’s why I decided to quit pretending to be someone I’m not – a corporate professional – and take matters into my own hands.

We shouldn’t have to do what society tells us to do, and a lot more people are starting to realize that.

How to Get Your Personal Freedom

Okay… by now you’re probably wondering why should care about MY journey towards personal freedom. What I’m hoping is you’ll see that it IS possible to change your life and do what you want.

I’m saying you have to travel the world like I do. Instead, personal freedom might be about having more time with your family, or simply being able to have time to enjoy your hobbies.

In my opinion…personal freedom starts with a simple decision. You can either choose to do what you’ve always done OR make the commitment toward change. I can’t promise things will be easy. But I will say that it will be worth it when you choose to follow your own path to personal freedom.

Another technique is to find one reason why you want more freedom. Then hold on to this image whenever things get difficult. I call this a catalyst because it’s usually the driving force that makes us want to make a change.

So as we close this article, I have a few questions for you: What is the catalyst in your life? Is there an event or circumstance that’s caused you to want to change things? Where do you find inspiration when things get difficult?

I’d love to your thoughts in the comment section below…

Steve Scott writes about Lifestyle Design, Internet Marketing and Personal Growth at his site Steve Scott Site.

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How to Get Your Own Personal Freedom…Starting Today! is from A Meaningful Existence

Who are you really?

Are you a Mother, Daughter, Niece, Sister, Aunt, Daughter-in-law, Girlfriend, Best Friend?

Are you a Husband, Son, Nephew, Brother, Uncle, Brother-in-law, Boyfriend, Best Friend?

Are you a teacher, chef, lawyer, writer, fireman, clerk, designer, landscaper, speaker, analyst, dentist, CEO, CFO, VP, SEO expert, marketer, entrepreneur, mechanic, banker, coach, actor, comedian, doctor, blogger, developer? What do you call yourself? I think you realize that these are just temporary titles that can be taken away very easily.

Who are you really? When you go beyond these titles, do you really know yourself? Or are these labels that other people have put on you?

You are more than a name. More than a title. More than a label.

If we strip away your wealth, your intelligence, good looks, youth, health and all that is transitory from you, would you recognize yourself in the mirror?

Have you ever spent enough time by yourself to ask if the real you is showing up? Are they still there inside of you, but are scared to come out?

What’s stopping the real you from appearing?

The world is waiting for you to take the time to find out who you really are and for the real you to show up. It takes a lot of self-love and courage to be who you really are.

Who are you, really?

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Finding Out Who You Really Are Takes Love And Courage is from A Meaningful Existence

What would you do over again in your life? What would you stop doing today, knowing what you now know?

I’ve been re-reading Brian Tracy’s exceptional Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life book again and came across a great exercise. It’s using the concept of zero-based thinking to reflect back on some of the decisions you’ve made in your life that have impacted your current and future life.

Zero-based thinking which comes from game theory in which the participants gains are off-set exactly by their losses, so that the total score is zero.

Tracy asks us to list all the activities that we are involved in. This could include your social, business, personal, financial or any other activities that takes up our energy, time, commitment, or emotional energy.

Now, looking at each of those activities ask yourself “What I know now in my life, would I not get into this activity or start it today if I had to do it all over again“. Your answer to that question will determine your future actions.

What do you have on your list?

What activity is no longer serving you?

What can you cross off your list and say good-bye to that activity?

Even if you’ve been doing something for the last five, ten, twenty years – if it fails the questions “Knowing what I know today, would I do it again if I had to do it all over again?” you should get rid of it. It’s no longer to your benefit to keep doing that activity. If there is no future in that activity, then why are you spending your precious energy with it?

Would you go into the same career, knowing now what you know?

Would you get and stay married, knowing now what you know?

Would you buy that business or develop that product, knowing now what you know?

If something is costing you more than it’s worth, it’s time to let it go.

What would you do instead?

You need to stop doing what no longer enriches your life so that it frees up time to start doing that gives your life meaning.

It’s never too late to draw a line and start over again. After all, the score is still zero.

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How Zero-Based Thinking Can Help Your Future is from A Meaningful Existence

This is a guest post by Thu Nguyen from Blogging For dot INFO.

Life is pretty much a big wheel of wants. As we grow older, spinning that wheel will take you on many different challenges. Part of that journey involves an element called Chance. We don’t know what chances and opportunity we will encounter during our life.

You may be familiar Monopoly board game. As you set up the game, there is on one side of the board cards called Chance and on the other side, you’ll find the Community Chest cards. Everyone wanted to get the Chance cards but Community Chest cards led the numbers. Most players learned that Community Chest cards were the ones giving you fines and while the amount may have been been minor, you ended up losing more than what you could have gained.

This is very similar with our reality. Chances are we’re given few opportunities to understand anything profoundly. There are constant distractions that are  limiting our lives from taking one step forward. It’s learning how to get out of your comfort zone that provides us with a definite goal towards our future.

I’m going to give you a scenario to illustrate the chances in life. In a sense, the price of your actions is one key towards your life changing. In another, it’s how many chances you’re given to understand what it is you want to do in regards to your ideal life. I have used this script many times to see how my chances have helped me progress in my own life.

Let’s start the game.

The First Spin

The first spin is quite harmless because it’s an experimentation of the things that we find interesting.

We’re only testing things out and we don’t know if what we land on is what we want yet. Our energy level and optimism at this stage is at it’s highest. We have no complaints yet.

However, let’s spin the wheel again. Chances are, even if that’s what you stick with, the weight that comes with it will evolve to carry on the baggage of emotional rollercoasters. Then you’re going to find that in seeking betterment, there’s a little bit of greed, neglect and even selfishness overtaking your desires.

Naive ones will see these adventures as nothing wrong. It comes with the territory and as long as we’re doing something, it really doesn’t matter the consequences. It’s just plain fun. At least for now.

Time After Time

Let’s fast forward ourselves to a couple of years later. You’re a little older now but still spinning that wheel and still taking on new chances. But you’re not really fulfilling anything yet in your life. That doesn’t really sound enticing, does it? All the chances you’ve been given have been wasted in minor interests and there is no real purpose in anything you wanted to achieve.

Only the temptation to spin the wheel agin allows you to give up project after project and dive into another nice and exciting chance (project). What happens then is the wheel becomes smaller. There are less chances in life. This time there’s a new element called responsibility that has been added to the game.

So you need to make a decision.

Do you:

a)  run away?

or

b) work on how you see your wants?

Notice that I didn’t ask what YOU want but HOW you want. There’s a difference. Look at HOW you’re processing your wants.

You Through A Medium

One of the things that defines your HOW is the medium you will use. This will be different for everyone because we all work in our own unique way.  This is something you’re going to have to stick to and master.

This will be your medium. I’ll give you some ideas so you’ll understand better what I mean when I say medium.

Do you work better through Listening?

Watching?

Creating?

Writing?

Talking?

If you can answer at least any of the questions above, you’re one step closer to finding out what works for you.

Use this medium every time you need to find an answer to a certain question you may be having. Surround yourself with the tools which will let you understand better.

Personally, I prefer the medium of writing. I write every day because it allows me to weave my thoughts into words and present it through my blog. Over time, I noticed not only am I communicating better but I’m more aware of the people, things and actions in my life. I find myself creating my conversations over these wonders so I know it works. It fulfills a part of me which allows me to be transparent with society.

The point is that if you’re comfortable in a certain medium, you’ll find that’s where your answer will most likely lie. Many bloggers consider this their passion. Why not instill that into helping you become a better person?

That’s going to be your reality so why not play with it. It’s so much better than muddling in the gloom and uncertainty of failure. You’ll find plenty of room for that down the road.

Life is full of challenges. The difficulties you’re facing now might not be as bad as the next ones. Keep in mind that every chance unravels a series of steps and while you’re being warned that there may be landmines along the way, the shock that comes with triggering emotions is endless. But, don’t let that hinder your life. We all have to face these landmines sometimes.

Shed Your Armor

There’s no right or wrong. It either works or doesn’t work. Shed your armor and learn to walk forward naturally. From here, you’ll start to see if what you wanted is worth the price of your time. You’re going to attract a lot more people who will appreciate what you do. It is these challenges you face that your later chances for understanding is greatly influenced.

When you put it in terms of strengths, while you are still strong, you can take on the adversaries of your actions. Remember the Middle Ages when men fought for faith and identity?  This was a great stage in world history because the battles which happened here united many lives. In the end, the alliance of many different people brought us to later see the Renaissance where trading and industry prospered.

You’ll find yourself getting personal with your projects and the need to share yourself publicly. Another term you may be familiar with that defines this is burning desire. With burning desire comes disappointment, anger, envy and even greed. The emotional rollercoasters mentioned earlier are now side-effects of your wants.

These side-effects are okay. They are meant to ignite the human side of you to try to understand life through humility and experience.

Overall, the price which comes as a matter of spinning the wheel of chance will depend on how much humility you’ve experienced but most importantly, how much better you’ve become.

Living Out Loud

I’m surprised at how much I progress every day. There’s so many different minds to connect with and much to learn beyond my own four walls. The  chances I take towards understanding the world around me comes from my ability to share life through my medium of writing. As I shed the armor which has protected me, I find support through other people who have also went beyond the first spin to find their medium and who have shed their armor.

It really makes life much more louder. Sometimes I find that I can’t even turn down the volume anymore. Even when I actually have the courage to, I begin to miss the signals which has taken me towards spinning the wheel in the first place. It was a chance I took and now it’s the reality spinning me. How ironic.

But I don’t let that bother me. I understand now what it is I want. I understand now who it is I am.

I also understand the chances which comes as a result of being challenged. I see them as opportunities for more chances in my wheel of life.

I think that’s a fair trade. Besides there is no luck. Only that which you create.

How about you? What keeps you spinning the wheel? What chances are you taking? Please share your thoughts.

Thu Nguyen blogs over at Blogging For dot INFO daily where she is tracking her interests in blogging, marketing, self-development and performance through penning them online into digestible bytes.

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4. Succeeding Means Loving Yourself – Guest Post
5. How To Stop Thinking And Start Doing – Guest Post

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to my feed to have all the future articles delivered to your feed reader. Thanks!

Understanding Your Chances In Life – Guest Post is from A Meaningful Existence