A Million Thoughts A Minute

Isolation

2018-08-12T10:21:00.000-07:00

Distanced from desire

Your touch unknown

Your company unfamiliar

Carrying no memento of shared promises

No marking of making you mine

Missed memories of togetherness

Nothing to nostalgically cherish

The pillow on the left always cold

No connection to your breath

Ramadhan Reflections

2018-06-19T13:40:00.000-07:00

Let go of the past and look towards the future.

You know that in the process of letting go of the past, the past will come knocking back.

That's okay. I'll acknowledge you and set you on your way.

Walk within your empowered self, the self who holds your true potential not your fear driven, critical, self-doubting self.

Listen to your inner wisdom. All experience has the potential to offer growth.

Treasure every breath. Every breath is a blessing.

Value the richness in life. Even the everyday monotony is beautiful.

Disconnected

2017-12-29T08:19:00.001-08:00

You were the first ones to come into my life

All you ever gave me was mixed messages

I accept you

You are deserving of love

You are deserving of care

You are good enough

You are lacking, deficient

There's something wrong with you

You are totally worthless

Authenticity

2017-10-27T09:45:00.002-07:00

You tore me down,

Put me on permanent alert,

What I should look like,

Who I should be,

How I should live,

I craved to hear my own voice,

Mirror

2017-09-17T00:24:00.000-07:00

She hadn’t really looked at herself in the mirror for a long time. She knew what she looked like. Every attribute, flaw was seared in her mind. Yet, she never just looked at herself in the mirror. Because, inside she knew she didn’t want to. She was scared of a truthful reflection. Yet, something strange happened, captured by a fleeting moment of curiosity, she took the plunge. Paused in an entire stillness, she really took a good hard look at herself. That bright, youthful glow in her face had dimmed. Upset by this, she held her face with a slight firmness-in wonderment of what she had done to herself. Closing her eyes to take a moment, she posed some questions: could I look at myself any longer? Would it hurt? Could I handle this?
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zara

2017-08-06T01:52:00.000-07:00

Leaning against the pillar at the back of the ballroom, I fully immerse myself into my surroundings. The gentle instrumentals of Bollywood music. The chatter and laughter of those catching-up with one another. The patches of confetti and flower petals signifying the bride and grooms entrance. The children running in between the tables, exploring their new- found playground. The vibrant colours and sparkling ornaments rightly infusing the couples’ cultural heritage into this very British ballroom. Amongst all these meaningful mementoes of celebration of this togetherness, I couldn’t keep my admiring eyes off my dear friend, the bride. There could be no greater happiness for me. To see the radiating joy from her and her beloveds face, as they shared this precious moment together. Even though my heart wasn’t too trusting of a mans’ love, I couldn’t help but love weddings.

Confessions...

2017-07-09T10:08:00.000-07:00

Being a second-class citizen started in my own home.

My brothers served before me.

Their needs put before me.

They were pushed in their interests.

If I wanted to try something it was dismissed.

As a girl, my interests were irrelevant.

Girls don’t do that!

Cook, clean, take care of the house, that’s your responsibility.

The kitchen, the home, is where you belong.

Difference

2017-05-21T02:03:00.000-07:00

You made up your mind,

My headscarf,

My skin colour,

My gender,

All spoke for me,

Her

2017-03-25T10:41:00.002-07:00

There was an innocence in her eyes,

A passion in her voice,

Her smile extended across her entire face,

Her touch,

Once experienced you didn't want to let go,

A calmness surrounded her,

Her heart so gentle,

I was afraid the slightest thing could break it,

Two Masks

2017-02-24T10:44:00.000-08:00

You wear your mask,

I wear mine,

You don't tell me how you truly feel,

Nor do I,

We both suffer in silence,

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Milestones

2017-02-19T01:49:00.000-08:00

I was never the one boys chased after,

My inbox wasn't at capacity,

Flirting, a mystery,

To be pursued, how did that feel?

#Foreveralone

2017-01-21T04:03:00.000-08:00

2016 is over and 2017 has just begun. In typical end of year fashion, social media became saturated with “being single” memes/posts and statuses. To the masses these posts are seen as light-hearted jokes but, in actuality they reflect bitterness and a deep seeded insecurity.

Hope

2016-12-29T11:44:00.000-08:00

I thought I was happy,

But, every time you come along,

You got me questioning,

Doubting,

Blurring my boundaries,

I’m done,

I can’t keep going on like this,

Self-Worth

2016-12-23T05:00:00.000-08:00

I thought you disliked me,

I thought you hated me,

All I wanted to do was to please you,

All I wanted was your acceptance,

I always believed It was my fault,

I was inadequate,

I was not good enough,

But, I am not the problem,

Nor are you,

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Unfinished

2016-12-18T07:50:00.001-08:00

Sometimes things remain unfinished,

There is no seamless ending,

No build-up to a final triumphant moment,

I'm Sorry

2016-12-12T00:27:00.000-08:00

Are you one of those people who often apologizes?

Do you find yourself always saying, “I’m sorry?”

If you reflect on them apologies, are they due to actions that truly warrant an, "I'm sorry?"

I’m guessing your answer is, no.

Autumn

2016-12-07T09:18:00.001-08:00

There she sat on the wooden park bench,

She was in no hurry,

She had the perfect company,

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Eyes

2016-11-05T02:52:00.000-07:00

When I look at you,

I see them eyes:

Real love

2016-10-30T09:37:00.000-07:00

I don’t want you to love me for the thickness of my lips.

I don’t want you to love me for the way my hair frames my face.

I don’t want you to love me for the colour of my eyes.

I don’t want you to love me for the contours of my face.

I don’t want you to love me for the curvatures of my body.

I don’t want you to love me for the colour of my skin.

I don’t want you to love me for how you perceive my external beauty.

In the pursuit of happiness

2016-10-23T10:28:00.000-07:00

In the journey of uncovering the depths of my self-awareness, I have come to understand that I have spent a lot of time chasing happiness. Happiness was always my end goal. Wherever I turned, be that real life or social media, I felt everyone was happy, but I was not. Experiences from the past, present or those anticipated for the future were on my mind. I felt they were the reason for my withheld happiness.

My biological clock is ticking

2016-08-28T04:36:00.000-07:00

Having children was something I always saw in the distant future. When fate decided I would meet the right person, leaving me with ample time to start a family.

So, what do you do?

2016-08-21T07:14:00.000-07:00

Over the years, I have noticed that a staple conversational point in meeting new people, catching up with acquaintances and friends was always education or career related. Majority of the times it would be posed in the manner, so, what do you do?

I have had enough with the double standards against the hijab

2016-08-14T04:10:00.000-07:00

When I decided to permanently wear the hijab at age seventeen I felt like I was taking the step towards taking my faith seriously. My hijab was a symbol, telling the world that I recognized myself as a Muslim; a submitter to one God. But, I soon realised that this act of spirituality would be subject to double standards.

#Nomakeup

2016-08-07T05:30:00.000-07:00

Make-up is marketed to be associated with what women consider positive; confidence, self-esteem, professionalism, beauty, sexiness, expression an art form. Women have internalized these concepts and use these as a basis for their love and use of make-up.

But, when I look beyond the surface of this ‘positivity’ I see something that is quite dangerous.

I am not ashamed of my period

2016-07-31T09:17:00.000-07:00

I remember being in year ten and complaining to my mum how nearly everyone I knew started their period and I had not. I felt like I was missing out on this crucial milestone. Then, weirdly, somehow, mother nature heard my frustration and gave me the painful gift of starting my period.

As, I matured in my period journey I began to realize how this natural biological process was painted as something shameful; something that should be hidden.