A Minute with Mo

Baby Steps

2012-07-13T16:01:00.000-05:00

There is an old Chinese proverb that says, "A journey of a thousand miles began with a single step.' and today I took that baby step...again.

Months ago, I was actively embarking upon a journey toward better health and a smaller waist and well.... smaller everything. :) Somewhere along the way after I lost about 20lbs I got the big head and started feeling really good about myself. People were complimenting me left and right and I was getting more and more attention than usual (some good, some bad) Nevertheless, I figured, ah, I can slow down a little now, and I don't have to hit it as hard as long as I don't gain anything back and maintain my loss, I'm good. That worked for about a month or so and then I stopped working out... I went from 5 times a week to 2, then to 1 and then figured I was too busy to make it to the gym.

Along the way, my mind started playing tricks on me and in addition to slowing my workout I began craving items I KNEW I didnt need to be eating and even if it was ok to have every once in a while, that 'moderation thing' was out of the window. For some reason I felt like I could no longer deprive myself of all the sugary goodies and treats that I felt like I was missing out on. I would scarf down a couple of candy bars and then feel crazy guilty and ashamed of myself.

As each day passed, I was like oh well, I've messed up now and its too late to 'fix it' and I could never give myself the right push I needed to get back on track. I realize now that if I had started BACK THEN it would have been so much easier to hop back on. But enough on the woulda, coulda, shouldas I have made up in my mind TODAY that I have to be the change that I want to see and DO SOMETHING. (Another 'wink': I started this post on 7/5 but never published it and today on this blog I follow, the author coincidentally posted about something strikingly similar. Motivation and encouragement from those around me will help push me to do more! We can get there together!)

Truthfully speaking (as always) after careful evaluation I've realized that I've slacked off in other areas of my life as well. I can tell because that full, fulfilling happy, floating feeling I normally have when all is right and I'm mentally at peace has been nonexistent. I think part of the reason is that I've put so much focus on my weight (gain) that I was beginning to be depressed. (wow, cant believe I really said that/typed that aloud). I've become content in my new position at work and stopped taking the initiative, I've stopped spending extra time with my daughter and taking those special moments to impart knowledge into her life, I've stopped going to church as much and being involved, and I've slacked on my business plan to become a serious entrepreneur (until recently, more about that in another post) and I had all but 'given up'. Today I have decided to take back control, I've decided to challenge myself to shake off complacency and to stop existing in life and to live again. Seek out new challenges, do something different and ENJOY LIFE. I want to use the time I have right now to make positive changes. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one so if you're interested in joining, come on, there's plenty of room for us all at the TOP!

~Mo

******Don't let what you can't do stop you from doing what you can do.*******
~ John Wooden

WOW... Where did the time go?

2012-07-05T15:36:00.000-05:00

April 11, 2012 - that's the last day I posted something on my blog... how sad... almost 3 months and I haven't had the opportunity to 'release'. I have so many things going on in my head and I have to get them out and written so I wont have to hold onto them anymore.... so, if you're interested...buckle up, because we're about to go for a ride. :)

~Mo

Little Life Lessons

2012-04-11T11:14:00.003-05:00

Hey!

So lately, I see these messages, pictures and quotes all the time that either inspire me or make me pause and think about myself and my life. I mean, some really good stuff. It might be things that we've heard before but weren't in the right season to really receive it and apply it to our lives. You read/see it and it just IS and it usually is very self explanatory. With that being said, I am going to start sharing them here on my blog in hopes that these "Little Life Lessons" inspire or help people that stop by as much as they help me. If you like it, share it with somebody else. :) I'm posting the first one below.

Little Life Lesson: "Don't try to stretch a season into a lifetime. Know when to let go."

Okay, I have to say something about this one, lol... Love this... and its so very true. I had a conversation with someone yesterday about the acceptance that loving someone doesnt mean you're meant to be or meant to be in each others lives even. Its difficult, but sometimes neccessary for our own groth. Whatever you needed to learn from them, that encounter or that relationship might be accomplished and the time is up. YOU (and me) not wanting to let it go or give up is only making you both miserable in the process. Sometimes you can try too hard... and realize later that you should have given in and accepted the inevitable a long time ago. You would have saved yourself some days that you can now NEVER get back and started the healing process a lot sooner before things got worse. Its like forcing a puzzle piece where it doesnt fit, sure it might be attached, but it looks crazy in the big picture because it isnt where it belongs and usually it creates some bumps and abnormalities in a picture (the puzzle) that should otherwise be smooth and clear.

~Mo

Food for Thought

2012-04-09T00:08:00.000-05:00

I strive to.......

1. LISTEN without interrupting.
2. SPEAK without accusing.
3. GIVE without sparing.
4. PRAY without ceasing.
5. ANSWER without arguing.
6. SHARE without pretending.
7. ENJOY without complaint.
8. TRUST without wavering.
9. FORGIVE without punishing.
10. PROMISE without forgetting.

Seems like a short list of 10 things but they arent all easy tasks... but these are great reminders that can make life so much sweeter. :)

~Mo

Thank you for No's and Closed Doors

2012-04-08T23:53:00.004-05:00

So, I grew up the ONLY girl with 2 younger brothers and was the first grandchild to both sets of grandparents so it goes without saying that I was just a little spoiled and pretty much got what I wanted because I was the only girl and the oldest. :) For me, it was always a matter of saying what I wanted and eventually it would be done. I think some of that poured over into my adult life and I thought that things would just 'happen' for me but I'm sure anyone reading this knows that life doesn't really work that way and I was in for a rude awakening, lol. There have been many times that I've been disappointed and let down when I felt like God didn't just grant me the desires of my heart WHEN I WANTED THEM. <--- problem was the when I wanted it and maybe, just maybe my timing might not have been aligned with God's timing so I was rejected or told No.

Looking back through slightly more mature eyes, I'm learning to be grateful and not bitter or angry for every closed door and every 'No' I received when I thought something was good for me. I now realize that a lot of those rejections were God's way of protecting me from myself. We always think we know best but God knows better than our best guess. I saw the second picture below posted on this awesome blog I follow and it was like that 'aha!' moment that Oprah talks about and I was like YES!

Sometimes it takes something that triggers our thought process and allows us to look at things from another angle or even to just remind us to be grateful for everything, positive and negative because its all for a reason. I personally feel like I'm in one of the best times of my life; I have a great, supportive family that loves me, unbelievably amazing friends, a job I love that's fulfilling and I'm certainly on my way to financial security and it feels darn good to have things fall into place... however, I shudder to think about where I could possibly be if God gave me some of those things I wanted way back then.... whether it was a certain job, a relationship with someone I thought was 'the one' for me or anything. They say things are always clearer in hindsight. I'm just glad that God knows what's best for me even better than I do and HE knows and see's the big picture when I can only see a small part. The hard part is that you have to always be in a position to trust God and know that what He's doing will all make sense later. It might be diffiicult to understand or comprehend right now, but usually a day/time comes when you think back and you're like Man, I'm glad I didn't__________________!!!! and you see the good that came as a result of the No, the denial, or the rejection.

We cant forget that even though we think something is good for us right now, maybe God doesnt see where that fits in our future (since He CAN see the whole) so we have to be willing to let go, and let God and trust that he knows better than we do. Know that everything happens for a reason and it might not make sense right now but it will and that time is now for me. Things are becoming so clear and I'm humbled and grateful for God protecting me and rejecting the things that were not for me.

~Mo

Something in the water....

2012-04-02T22:27:00.003-05:00

So, lately I've found myself daydreaming (a LOT) about having another baby. I don't know WHAT has gotten into me. Years ago, I had this carefully thought out plan about how my family would be constructed, how far apart my children would be in age, a list of baby names and everything... but its funny how life doesn't always happen exactly the way we plan it. *Go figure*

It probably doesn't help that my family has grown quite a bit in the last year and a half or so too, as I welcomed my first niece and two nephews into the world so babies have been all around me. I love everything about them, their sweet little fingers, and soft little toes, the way they snuggle up on you and my all time favorite - just holding them and putting them to sleep. :) Even though my big baby is 9 years old now I still love for her to crawl up in my arms and the way she hugs my neck makes me smile inside and outside. I love the innocence of children, their inquisitive nature and their curious little personalities and their interest in wanting to learn and soak up any and everything around them.

However in all this daydreaming and reminiscing about when my baby was still a baby, I'm reminded that now she is very mature, super independent, and pretty self sufficient. There's not a WHOLE LOT I have to do for her that she cant do for herself and I enjoy that. It gives me the ability to do what I need to do most of the time since she entertains herself. And the thought of having another little person in the house that's totally dependent on me freaks me out a little. (actually a whole lot.)

Even still, my baby fever isn't going away (not even a little bit) and this weekend I couldn't help but notice that every time I turned around my eyes were zeroing in a baby bump or a major bun in the oven. I don't know if that was some kind of 'wink' or a coincidence but it was scary to say the least and I'm curious to see what the future holds but I know I have to be patient and wait and see what happens... I know it wont be anything going on anytime soon since me possibly wanting another baby is a really, really small piece of the equation - and I'm clearly still missing a few important factors, lol

In the meanwhile, I don't know about other places around the world, but right now, today, in TEXAS, there has got to be something in the water that everybody is pregnant and apparently has baby fever too.

Random: Cheer Mom!!!!!

2012-03-27T18:11:00.002-05:00

Soooo my daughter has her first official cheer leading competition this weekend at Cowboys Stadium! I'm super excited for her and her rec team (North Dallas Divas). So fitting, for anyone that really knows her. They've been working really hard lately. I'm excited about being there to support her doing something that she loves and enjoys and ready to see that big kool-aid smile on her face! I'm wondering if I'm going to turn into this super crazy cheer mom traveling with her team to different competitions and what not, there with my makeup and bows and cooler in hand. I'm hoping it doesn't get out of hand like some Toddlers & Tiaras type mess, but I am excited about it. I wanted her to play sports but she is just tooooooo prissy for all that and this is as good as it gets.

I've enjoyed watching her confidence in her abilities build. She surprises herself doing things she thought she wouldn't be able to do and as a parent its a great feeling to witness your child coming into their 'own' and believing in themselves.

Cant wait to let everyone know how she does! I might even post a video of the performance. I'm so excited so I had to tell someone!!!! Stay tuned, I'll let you know how it goes.

~Mo

Just when I thought.... (venting)

2012-03-17T02:29:00.001-05:00

Have you ever cleaned up your house/apartment, real good, I mean real good and sit back and admire your handy work you notice/realize you left something out or missed a spot and now you have to go back and clean it up after you thought you were ALREADY DONE? Makes you feel some kinda way, doesn't it... **Sigh** That's how I feel right now.

I've worked really hard to clean my life up... pick up the pieces of my broken heart from a failed relationship, allow my emotional scars to heal, and just press forward and move on.... and every once in a while there is a reminder or something that happens or something that is said/done, something I hear/notice that triggers my emotions all over again and I realize... I've made progress but I'm still not there yet, and I still have some cleaning to do.

I can and try to do what I can to minimize confrontation with my 'triggers' but what happens when you have no control of the things that could potentially affect you? How do you deal with that, really? Its hard and I just got slapped in the face tonight with just how difficult that can be. How do you keep your distance when the distance between you has gone from several miles to less than 2. Yes less than TWO, 1 POINT 2 to be exact..... I have this really unsettling feeling in my stomach right now about how the whole situation was even handled and when I even think about it and I want to get angry all over again, but that means they WIN...

I've been okay... I've been in a good place, a great place actually and I know that things will come up to 'test' my progress. So, with that being said, I'll try to take this one in stride and keep it moving...It's hard sometimes to take control over your feelings, demand then to stay in sync with what you want them to be. I think another thing that bothers me is that NO ONE ELSE can push my buttons like this person can. Like they know exactly what to say and exactly what to do to set me off... I don't think its always intentional but its really annoying nonetheless, stirring up drama, emotions, feelings and thoughts when its really unnecessary.... When I started writing this blog, I was angry and now I've calmed down quite a bit and it might not be as bad as I originally thought, but I still feel some kinda way about it. #kanyeshrug.... I'm just going to pray about it and leave it alone... and remember not to allow other people to kill my mood, upset me, or engage me in their unwarranted mess and foolishness....

**wooo-saaaah**

~Mo

The Ugly Truth

2012-03-08T18:45:00.002-06:00

Have you ever been in a situation where you keep trying and trying and things just don't work out, you get frustrated and want to give up? I have... and its frustrating to no end. As children we are taught to try and try and try again. We've heard our parents, teachers, coaches, religious leaders and others always encourage us and say "Don't give up!" so we naturally take on this negative connotation to giving up. Shoot, I do the same thing with my daughter, I don't want her to not try so I'll keep pushing her because that's what people did to me and FOR me.

However, when it comes to giving up on people, I'm starting to see things a little differently. Like the image above says... sometimes you give up on people because you realize they don't care. Its really unfortunate that you would have to 'write someone off' because they aren't putting forth the same effort as you, but its necessary sometimes. It's also very hurtful to realize that someone you are close to or love and care about might not really feel the same and kinda been 'fakin it to make it. In a previous post, I talked about friendship and how its necessary for the relationship to be mutually beneficial. I think the same should go for all relationships, including family. I don't think its fair that we sometimes give our families a free pass to do and say what they want to us, disregard our feelings and expect all to be okay cause 'they're family'. I always say if people aren't adding to your life they are taking from it, family included. Last time I check, God only gave me one life and if I'm not going to make the best of it, its going to be on me, I'm not going to let someone else help me do that. Now, I'm not saying you have to be ugly, but I am no longer in the business of putting forth the effort to help, build relationships or friendships if the other person isn't. I might for a while but eventually I'll wake up and realize this is a one way show.

The older I get (and I'm really not that old) I'm definitely learning and accepting the old cliche 'everyone comes in your life for a reason or a season' (something like that) and as bad as that might hurt and as hard as it may be hard to accept, its the ugly truth. Sometimes you just have to accept it and move on. *kanye shrug* It is what it is....

~Mo

The Single Life

2012-02-28T18:08:00.004-06:00

Everybody's fairy tale life is different at least in the beginning (how it might start), but the endings usually boil down to the same thing. Happily. Ever. After. - Whether its the husband and wife with a white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a dog, or a family consisting of a loving same-sex partnership with someone who adores you and your children, its the thing that makes you happy and makes life beautiful that create your happily ever after for you. Love and all that other mushy stuff. I think as human beings we all (to some extent) long for a loving relationship/partnership with someone that we are compatible with, that loves us, complements us and that we 'click' with. Relationships can be a real safe haven and a place of comfort, love, support and encouragement. But until we get to that point...what do we do? Can we have a happily ever after without all those things? (Its not a test, so I'll tell you now the answer is yes, lol) When my 5+ years relationship ended almost 2 years ago (Wow, cant believe its even been that long) I was in a foreign place... I didnt know how to be by myself, I didnt like to be alone and I just didnt know what to do.

However, in the last couple of years, I have taken this time to learn more about myself, experience some things in life, enjoy living life by myself or trying to learn to anyway, putting myself first and its been really hard, hurtful, yet refreshing at times and very revealing. Things I didnt see before (about myself) were much more recognizable when I became single and I had to accept that it was truly MY issue, especially since there was no one else here to place the blame on. :) Being single has given me the opportunity to work on those issues, heal from emotional scars, REdevelop my self esteem, get rid of my insecurities, tear down some emotional walls I've built, and learned to trust people again. Yes, it gets lonely sometimes, but I definitely see the benefit in using the time productively and allowing yourself to heal as opposed to jumping into another relationship or 'be on the rebound' too fast. We usually wind up carrying all of these issues right into the next relationship.

I came across this article entitled "9 Reasons Why Being Single is Good for You" and thought it was...well interesting. I've summarized the main points below.. but click the link for more in depth info or to read the full article.

1. Being happy alone is a prerequisite before we can have a successful marriage or serious relationship. 2. Singleness gives us the ability to have all our attention on God. 3. Singleness is our opportunity to develop character and heal from deep emotional wounds before we get married. 4. Singleness is where you learn to become an asset and not a liability.5. Singleness is where we learn our Godly roles for being a husband or wife and develop relationship skills .6. Singleness is where we determine our value system. 7. Singleness is where you become financially stable and learn to be a proper steward of what God gives you.8. Singleness is where you prepare yourself to be what you are expecting from a future mate.9. Singleness is where you learn to manage your emotions and not allow emotions to be your decision making tool.

Some of the things I agree with and some I have my issues with but I'll tell you now, I definitely agree wholeheartedly with number one. But I'll hold my commentary on the rest until I hear your feedback on Mr. McCall's list and then I'll post my thoughts... maybe in the comments.. let me know what you think! Do you agree or disagree? Why? Why not? :)

~Mo

Dont Know What You Got til Its Gone.........

2012-02-28T00:45:00.003-06:00

Hey you! I hope you've being progressive thus far in this new year. Its been amazing for me in so many ways and I'm just grateful for each day and the new opportunities presented. :) I've been in a really 'reflective' mood here lately and saw a picture with the old cliche 'Dont Know What You Got Til Its Gone' and it got my wheels to turning and made me think really long and hard about some of the things that I no longer have... and if I truly recognized them for what they were, now and then. In a lot of ways I agree with the statement and I've used it before but I'm curious what type of lens people are looking through when they say it, whether they view it positively or negatively, cause I think it can be used both ways. Frankly, more often than not, I've heard more people use the phrase negatively, meaning they are sad or down about the particular thing or person that they have lost and could have some regrets. It seems as though people looking at it this way didn't appreciate what they had while they had it and now a case of nostalgia has set in and has them considering all the shoulda woulda, coulda's of days past. Trust me, I been there too.... But just to play devils advocate and look at it the other way around what if we looked at the things we no longer have as God's way of preparing us to receive something even better? Sometimes, its not the good thing that's always gone, it could be the bad thing that we needed to get rid of all along. What if we pondered about what's now gone and how it impacted our life (mostly negative or mostly positive) and consider if it was adding to our life or taking away from it, I wonder how differently we would feel about it...

Lately I've found myself thinking about things that have come and gone in my life... people, stuff, jobs, friendships, not just talking about romantic relationships here, just in case you were wondering... and I thought about all these things I selfishly wanted to hold on to, for whatever reason, (sometimes knowing it wasn't good for me) and when I finally let go of what I thought was sooooooooo GREAT; I eventually came to realize that it was actually not really good for me at all (or at least not as much as I thought). Looking back, there were friendships, relationships, people and things in my life, I had ALLOWED to begin altering who I knew myself to be and making me someone I wasn't so proud of and half the time didn't even recognize. It wasn't until I LET GO, or got away from certain situations that I could truly sit back and see from the outside looking in and see all the things I had originally missed with my blurred and biased vision.

Letting go isn't the easiest thing to do... its one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn. I've had to let go of friendships I thought would last until I was old and gray, I've let go of relationships with people that I loved more than I loved myself that were hindering me more than they were helping me, and I've given up jobs that wouldn't add any real benefit to my life or teach me anything, and it all hurt, every single time...it doesn't get any easier the more you do it either.... BUT the peace and joy I found in giving those things up were so much more worth it than the stress of trying to hold something together that was clearly broken. If we find ourselves too busy holding on to the stuff that doesn't mean us any good, or isnt good for us, what happens when the good thing (person, thing, relationship, etc) comes along... will your hands be too full holding the other stuff that you won't be open to receive something better?

Just food for thought...

Checkin In

2012-02-26T20:17:00.002-06:00

Hey world! Its been a while... I've had so much on my mind and in my thoughts and just not enough time to get it down on paper or the computer rather... but I'm making the time in the next couple of weeks. My goal is to publish all of the things I have saved as a 'draft' :)

Its been hard for me to write because I think I started becoming worried about my readers too much. Wanting to make sure I posted something 'good enough' that people would enjoy and through that I stopped using my blog as an outlet as it was intended to be. I dont always feel up to blogging a profound paragraph or lenthy lecture ...maybe just a simple sentence every now and then and something cool I saw that I want to share... I'm going to vow that I wont overthink things to much and post whatever I want. :)

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend (I surely did) and look forward to a productive week!

Mo

The Father Factor: Mo's Version

2012-01-10T00:48:00.000-06:00

When I was little, I thought my daddy was the KING! I mean, he was the man... he was powerful, something like a superhero, he took care of his family and he could make things happen that would make me say 'WOW' and make me think, "How did he do that?"...my dad could do no wrong and I thought he had magic powers... As I grew up, the more I learned about my father I realized that although he was a great father to me and my brothers he wasn't always the best man or husband to my mother but, nevertheless, I cant deny the impact my fathers presence had on my life - both positive and negative.

Now, as a mother, each day I'm faced with the issue of the occasional presence and frequent absence that my daughters father has in her life and it makes my heart ache...seriously. Like my chest gets tight, and I can barely breathe sometimes because I'm overcome with emotion. *oh goodness, I can feel my eyes welling up as I type* As her mother, I feel responsible for the choice I made in choosing her father and so many times I feel like I failed her. Like I said before, although my dad wasn't always 'taking care of business' I have a good relationship with him, we can talk about just about anything and I've gotten to experience being 'Daddy's Little Girl' - shoot I'm his only girl and I still feel special around my daddy and I feel like my daughter won't ever get the chance to experience that and I cant help but feel responsible for the poor choices I've made. Now don't get me wrong, I know he isn't without fault but I cant change him, all I can do is worry about me.

Conversations and visits with my daughters father are random and sporadic...there's no real consistency and I can tell that she's getting to the point where she just doesn't care anymore. If he calls and she misses the call and I ask if she wants to call back, she's like nah... because they don't have a relationship. He doesn't know how to talk to her...and granted lately he's been trying...but she's 8 and so much time has passed. He just doesn't even know her. He couldn't drive to her school without having to ask me the name of her school and then looking up directions, he doesn't know her favorite foods or that she prefers mayo over mustard on her sandwich, or her favorite TV show, or that she likes Pretzel M&M's and has Beiber Fever.

It hurts me to think that I'm there when they have Mom's & Muffins, but no one is there with her when they have Dads & Donuts at her school, I cry when I think about her not having a genuine bond with her father, and worry about her perception of the role he plays in her life or lack thereof. I shudder when I read the statistics about girls without fathers in their lives (even though some of it is just numbers to me, cause I clearly defied the odds) but still the hate that 'statistics say' she has an increased likely hood of promiscuity, failed relationships, poor decisions when dating, lack of self worth, etc. (Father Factor Article) So I try really hard to make sure she knows she's loved, smart, and beautiful. And although I strive to give her the world, the one thing I wish I could give her the most, I cant... and that hurts. *Sigh*

Thankfully, I have wonderful male figures in my life that step in and step up and are there for my daughter no matter what and I truly appreciate them for that. My brothers have been there from Day 1 and I love them so much for the active role they have played in my daughter's life. I'm equally proud of them for being there for their own children as well. I applaud them for being available in their children's lives and supporting their families and just being the men my mom and dad raised them to be (kinda, lol). For every mother that has a man/father there willing to be active and involved in their children's lives; be appreciative, support his efforts and be grateful that you have one less battle to fight. Cause this fight is not fair and the children are usually always on the losing end....

I pray constantly for him, to be who God wants him to be, to step up and be present in all of his childrens' lives... I pray for my daughter that the effect his absence is minimal, I pray that one day she experiences the true love and protection of a father, and I pray for all the other mothers going through struggles similar to mine...and I pray for the day that every TV show, or picture or dad and child walking through the store doesn't bring a tear to my eye thinking about what my daughter may be missing.... one day....

~Mo~

New Year....New Approach on Life.....

2012-01-07T18:11:00.000-06:00

Hello World (Wide Web) and Happy New Year! A new year is upon us and I'm excited about it; new goals, new opportunities, new accomplishments to celebrate and the whole nine yards. I actually started working on my 'new goals' before the 'new year' got here but just like everyone else, I'm renewed, refreshed and energized and ready for another year, there's just something that gives you a 'fresh start' feeling when the beginning of a new year rolls around.

My last post wasnt very happy... Actually I was kinda sad, maybe even a little drepressed about my holidays 'being different' when it turned out to be the same as it had always been. Kinda... funny thing is - that didnt make me happy either. I mean I enjoyed Christmas and all with my family and people I love and care about, but it didnt give me THAT feeling I was looking for.

So with that being said, I've thought about my goals and things I want to accomplish in this new year and ME making ME happy is at the top of the list. I don't want to to look to people, sitiations or anything external to make me happy or give me that "ahhhhhh" feeling. I want to be happy within myself. I dont normally make resolutions but this year I want to challenge myself.....to make this year different than the others. I want to take the initiative more often and make things happen in my life instead of procrastinating and waiting for things to come to me. I want to be whole all the way around - spritually, financially, educationally, emotionally, family, health and career-wise too. So I've created a list of goals in all of these areas that I am setting out to accomplish and I'm excited and a little anxious about it!

But all in all I'm hopeful for a fresh start... a new beginning.... starting over.... with wonderful new opportunities. Life can only get better from here... :) What are you looking forward to in the new year? (Well, other than me blogging more often :) LOL)

Looking forward to your comments!

~Mo~

Bah Hum Bug!

2011-12-15T00:02:00.001-06:00

I am normally very into the whole Christmas spirit and holidays but I'm just not feeling it this season. *Shrugs* I've got to get it together because I don't want to be a Scrooge or Grinch when I have so much to be thankful and grateful for. This is the time that everybody is supposed to be happy and cheerful and I'm feeling kind of sad and alone...First holiday season in a long time that we've had to spend alone and I think that has a lot to do with it. :( All I can hope for is that it gets easier with time and I come around.... on the bright side at least I put up a tree, no? Ah well, I tried.

What about me?

2011-11-16T22:35:00.001-06:00

Just needed to vent a little tonight... and this was the result of my little rant to myself.... I didn't finish it cause I might wanna come back and add more but this is what I have right now....

So frustrating to talk and not be heard

How could they listen so intently and not hear a word

I'm saying I'm frustrated, confused, maybe even upset

What part of any of that is so hard to get?

I know people rarely see me, naked, exposed, and not wearing my smile,

But I, just like you, get down every once in a while

When I'm cut or hurt I bleed blood, just like you do

I promise you that I go through stuff too

Aren't I entitled to have a bad day too

To hurt, to sulk, and cry just like you do.

Eventually at some point the strong will become weak

But rest assured I'll eventually land on my feet.

I know people count on me for the laughs and the smiles

But like I said before, I too go through things every once in a while

I wont be there long, I can guarantee that

Just give me a minute and I'm sure I'll bounce back.

I know I make it look easy, like everything is always so great

Truth is, its just me not wearing all of my emotions on my face

I was taught that you don't have to look like what you go through

And the world doesn't have to know whats REALLY going on with you.

Unless you choose to share

If you think some would genuinely care

Be there and try to understand

And not force your hand....

In times like these: Be patient with me, be gentle, be kind

Sometimes I just may need a little time

Please don't get frustrated, push, pry or force your way

Or you'll notice that I may just start pulling away

I know you want to help, and I know that you care

May not always be something for you to fix, but its comforting just knowing you're there.

Its not always easy when the tables are turned

To go from the motivator and encourager and become the subject of concern

All I ask is that you don't forget

That even if it doesn't happen often, my feelings are legit.

So give me my moment and give me my time

And I'm sure when its over I'll be just fine

Even behind my smile, I'm not exempt from hurt or pain

I'm sure we all experience some level of it just the same

I may show it differently if I even show it at all

And its great to know I have people there and just have to make a call.

Being human, we all will have highs and lows

Just don't forget about me or count me out when life has dealt me a blow....

Me....

Keeping it Real......

2011-10-26T21:24:00.000-05:00

Hello world, its me again. :) Did ya miss me...? Life has been good, life has been busy...thats about it for me. I've missed writing and so I'm here to get my fix.

Lately I've been noticing a growing and pretty disturbing trend. I'm all for social networks and what they represent when they are used the RIGHT WAY. What I don't like about social networks is the ability it gives people to hide behind the guise of a profile picture or a username and enable them to believe they can 'create' the person they want to be. More often than not I've seen the players portray themselves as the most faithful partners, the heathens (as my grandma would call them) are the most saved and spiritual you've and the perpetrator is always the victim, the person living paycheck to paycheck is balling out of control and sadly the deadbeats are parents of the year (men and women) and the list goes on...seriously...and no im not making this stuff up. I'm sure you've come across your own... The worst part about it is the people that are choosing their 'persona' of the day are always talking about how REAL they are... and infiltrating their comments or updates with "Real talk" or the worst "RNS" (consult your FB acronym list if you dont know what that one means, lol)

So, I'm a little annoyed and thought I'd blog about it, just to get it off my chest and all.... All of the people constantly advertising and promoting their REALness are the ones that live in their own REALity inside of their head apparently. If you're real and a genuine person, people will see that just from interacting with you and getting to know you and its not something that has to be advertised. Its my opinion that people that have to advertise how real they are and how they keep it 'one hunnet' (hundred for the more seasoned readers:) are the very ones that omit, tell half truths and arent being real with themselves. Now thats been MY experience and it might not be yours.

I think a lot of people have the intention of being real, being honest, being upfront and transparent. In reality, however, its not that simple. To be completely honest with others first means being completely honest with yourself, which isn't always an easy task. I talked about my own struggle with that in this previous post . You have to accept who you are and where you are and be okay with that before you can be open and honest with others. If not, its easy to project something that you aren't or may not be true to other people because its something you DESIRE even if you arent quite there yet... I think its in our human nature to look at someone elses life and feel some type of emotion, be it jealousy, inspiration or happiness but the important thing to remember is to not get caught up in admiring someone else's journey that you forget to be REALLY present in your own. Everybody loves to say "I'm doing me"and if that were the case they wouldn't be trying to recreate what someone else has or try to be something that they are not. I came across these quotes that kinda help drive that point home...

TRUTH: Don't fake it to make it; because however you make, it is how you'll have to maintain it. Be real.

TRUTH: You know, life is ironic. Sometimes, you want to have pieces of someone else’s life, but there are people out there who would love to have yours. Yeah, it’s true: the grass seems to always be greener on the other side….however, it just depends on which side you’re actually on, and who’s looking. To someone else, the grass YOU’RE standing on, IS greener. Blessings ALWAYS cover us. Appreciation…

Bottom line is.... even online, being the person you think someone would want to see or being something you may desire to be yourself (but really aren't yet) is still a form of deceit. It's lying to other people and lying to yourself and its a clear indication that there may be some things that you may not like about yourself. Those are the things people should focus on...work on changing those things and focus on making yourself happy as opposed to being someone you think people want you to be or the person you think people will like and stop looking for approval and validation from others and get it from yourself FIRST.

Just my thoughts....

Back on track...

2011-10-26T15:23:00.000-05:00

Whew, its been forever (AGAIN...) I feel like I really do say that on each post, lol... this time being back on it is referring to my commitment to healthIER eating and a more active lifestyle. I really started hitting it hard back in July and it wasn't easy because I have always started and just as quickly stopped working out and eating right. But I hung in there for a little longer this time and in just a couple of months: VOILA! I was 20 lbs lighter. (Talk about excited, lol!)

No sooner than I lost the weight did I get comfortable with my new 'look'. I know you're thinking but it was only 20 lbs, well apparently that made a huge difference, lol... I got comfortable and complacent and stopped trying as hard. I had told myself "See, you could do it and now you've done it." and that was almost enough. Enough for me to slow down, stop even and say well if I need to lose it now I know how and know what I need to do.

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT I'm getting my MOJO or MOBO (corny right, lol) back and I'm back on it. New focus and determination and I'm going to get it done. I'm proud to say that even with the lackluster efforts on my part I maintained my weight even though I was no longer losing so I still have to pat myself on the back that I didnt go in the other direction. That would have been just enough to make me give up, again.

I'm learning to not be so hard on myself, I'm learning that these things take time, and God am I EVER learning how to have patience. I'm excited about this journey I'm on. I think I have a balanced life in many areas, family, home, career, etc. but I struggle with ME. Making sure I'm whole and balanced - all the way around - physically, mentally, sprititually and emotionally and I'm working on that... and right now its time I get the physical part our of the way so I can move on to the next one! Let's get started! Wish me luck guys!

Truths

2011-10-09T16:46:00.001-05:00

Here we go with the latest edition of "Truths" I've compiled that I want to share with you- just a little food for though...

TRUTH: Sometimes, it is better to not get what you want, so it won't distract your vision from what you need.
TRUTH: We must understand that whatever we give the power to make us happy, we have also given the power to make us sad. Make it worth it…
TRUTH: Sometimes, it's harder to forgive than to love; but true love, will never find it hard to do both.
TRUTH: A person playing a role, will soon forget their act. Pay attention.
TRUTH: To have high self-esteem, you also need to love your bad qualities - it's fake to love only the good ones. Only by totally loving yourself, can you hope to love anyone else and their bad qualities.
TRUTH: Everybody lives, but not everybody learns. Make sure you are growing thru life, and not just going thru life.
TRUTH: Nothing can drag you down, unless you are holding on to it.
TRUTH: The biggest hurdle in life is getting over yourself. Get over yourself so you can really get moving!
TRUTH: Loving someone isn't about giving the best of your greatness. Loving someone is about giving the best of your weakness.
TRUTH: Many miss the diamond in the brown bag, because they fell for the cubic zirconia in the Tiffany box.

Are you Guilty? LOL

2011-10-09T16:44:00.000-05:00

So, I get the 97.9 the beat newsletter and they had this topic about Texting Rules and some of the offenses and no-no's, just thought i would share these for a good laugh. This is hilarious because I’ve done most of these things…smh

Avoid One Word Answers – If someone texts you a sentence, it is not polite to respond with “K” or “LOL”, its kinda rude, and in fact, it’s stand-offish. At the very appear that you are least interested in the conversation you’re having and instead of saying “K” say something more like “OK, I’ll do that now”. See what a difference a few extra letters make?
Response Time Is Everything – If you’re carrying on a text conversation it is very rude to leave a person hanging by taking hours to respond or not responding at all. If you are busy, feel free to let the person on the receiving end of your conversation know that response time will be slow or to give you a minute.
If you can say it all in 1 message, please do – Although we don’t want you to write us a novel, if you can fit whatever you have to say in 1 text, please do. There is nothing more annoying then having your text alerts going off over and over for something that could have been said once. Take some time to gather your thoughts before sending out a text.
Say No To Mass Texts – Nothing more annoying than the mass text. The worst type of mass texts come from those who take it upon themselves to send generic holiday texts at 8am in the morning. It’s annoying, don’t do it!
Pay Attention To Who You’re Texting – The most embarrassing thing you could possibly do is text something personal to someone you didn’t intend to. When sending texts, be mindful of who you are attempting to send the text to.
Cursing someone out is meant for phone calls – Don’t be THAT person that goes around cussing people out via text. Be a grown up and make that phone call.

There are so many more things I could think of but I want to see what you got, so post your comments below with your most ANNOYING text habits. :)

Honesty Is the Best Policy

2011-09-22T23:24:00.000-05:00

Hey! I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack, lol - why do I feel like every post starts this way? I have got to get it together. Sorry I haven't been posting lately...no reason for my absence really other than being lazy and not really knowing what to say, rather where to start cause I always have plenty to say... LOL

Lately, I've come across people or situations where the honesty and integrity of people have been called into question. You'd think since everybody was taught to 'tell the truth' that being dishonest was a non-factor but it just doesn't work like that. I know first hand because I used to do it (lie) and be good at it too. (Not something I'm proud of) I know people have their reasons for being dishonest and withholding the truth, shoot I had mine, (non that made it okay, might I point out) but can I relate to the thought process, in SOME cases anyway... For me, many times I didnt want to tell the truth or how I truly felt about something because I didnt want to hurt someones feelings, I was afraid of how they would react, I wanted to hide something I had no business doing, or I embellished to make my life seem like it was more 'exciting' than it really was (that was back in high school/early college days) but either way it wasn't right.

In my adult life, I've truly come to learn the importance, value, and benefit of being totally honest and have really gained a respect and appreciation for it. I've also had to accept that not everyone is not there yet because it takes a certain level of maturity to be honest (regardless of what the situation entails) and not everyone can do that. To be totally honest with someone means you have to be totally honest with yourself first and for a lot of us that's the hard part. Accepting and realizing things about ourselves, coming to terms with it and having to share it with others <-----not always an easy task. I read this quote and was reminded again today why we all should strive to be honest...period.

Building upon a lie, no matter how comfortable you have become living with it or how concrete it may seem, will never bring you any closer to the truth and only expands and deepens the wound...

You know the old saying, "the truth shall set/make you free..." its true... Although being honest is not always 'easy' per se its the most liberating thing you can do for yourself and for someone else. Once you put it out there, its there and the other people can make their own decision based on the facts given. When people lie, or are dishonest, or not telling the whole-truth, whatever you wanna call it (its all the same), it takes the option away from people and forces the liar to make a decision for them or for the person being lied to, to make a decision based on something other than, well, facts (true statements.) That's really unfair and its manipulative if you really think about it. If you truly care about someone, and you're being considerate of their feelings, give them the truth, they deserve at least that much. Do you realize how much MORE their feelings would be hurt to initially accept the lie that was given only later to find out you were intentionally dishonest with them - THAT'S not cool and will probably cause waaaaaaaaaaaay more pain that the truth would have. Don't put salt in the wound... Half the time people already know that you're lying when you do it, they are just giving you the opportunity to be honest with them. *yeah...shocker, right?*

All in all, the best way to handle each and every situation (large and small) is to speak the truth, be open and be honest. Even as painful as it can be sometimes, its liberating, its mature and its just the right thing to do and you'd want someone to give you the same courtesy. So keep the golden rule(s) in mind and know that Honesty really is the best policy and treat others as you would want to be treated....and maybe we'd have less people hurting each other in the world...

~Mo

Law of the Garbage Truck

2011-09-20T11:54:00.000-05:00

Received this in an email and thought i would share... I've seen it before but thought others may enjoy it as well. Not sure who wrote it, but I cant take credit for this one... enjoy!

Law of the Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!'

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so ... Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Simple as that. Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it!

Have a garbage-free day!

The Roller Coaster

2011-08-30T01:13:00.000-05:00

Hey people! Soooooo I said I was going to try to blog at least once a week and I already messed that up, didn't even keep it up for 3 weeks....SMH... I've been writing but haven't published anything cause I wasn't sure I wanted to 'share' what I was feeling with the world. I'll catch you up, but I guess I'll start here....

I used to be terrified of riding roller coasters. And although in a natural sense I looooove them now, metaphorically speaking they suck, at least the emotional ones......I've heard people say all the time about how they are on an emotional roller coaster, shoot, even Vivian Green wrote a song about it, but it hasn't been until now that I can fully understand exactly what they were saying....

I've been on a roller coaster of emotions this past couple of weeks and I'm so over it. Well let me say I'm ready for the ride to be over. Ever get on a roller coaster, and have that slow, creeping ride to the top, while you're laughing and talking and getting ready for the 'thrill' and get to the top and pause... RIGHT THERE that place, that moment, that time is where I wish to stay. If I could I would pause my thoughts and my emotions and I can rest in the 'highs of life'. But unfortunately, life doesn't happen that way. On a real roller coaster ride, the next thing to come is a sudden drop where your stomach feels like its shifted up to your throat and your whole equilibrium is thrown off. THAT is where I am right now and its not a good place to be. Feelings of uneasiness and uncertainty are settling in and I cant control it (and that's extremely difficult for someone whose normally in control.)

I'm trying to shake it off and regroup but the reality of it is, its easier said than done...when my mind and heart try to run ahead of me, I have to find a way to reign them both back in and gain control of the situation and I'm trying, I really am. Its just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo doggone hard.... you feel like you take 3 steps forward only to be pushed back 2. Well I wish someone could please point me to the emergency stop or could activate the brakes so I can stop this ride and get off immediately cause I'm ready for this to be over.....

~Mo~

How Long Are You Gonna Hold It?

2011-08-15T16:34:00.000-05:00

I received an email that I have read several times before and thought I would share it with my friends and blog readers and random visitors too...

A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience; with a raised glass of water, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, 'half empty or half full?'...but she fooled them all... "How heavy is this glass of water?," she inquired with a smile.

Various answers were called out, from 8 oz. to 20 oz. She replied, "The actual weight doesn't really matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "and that's the way it is with worry and stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we just won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden - holding our concerns longer and better each time practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night...pick them up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment. Relax, pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it and the now 'supposed' burden that you've conquered!"

My favorite part out of all of this is Life is short. Enjoy it.... because ultimately thats what we are supposed to do. God wants us to have an abundant and joyful life. Its not meant for us to just exist and not live and truly enjoy our lives... As the passage stated, if we carry our burdens all the time sooner or later we wont be able to carry on. I've been found guilty of carrying a burden that I wasnt willing to let go of, and its almost like a weight attached to your leg, and you're having to DRAG yourself forward. You cant move freely with too many things attached to you and weighing you down. I'm trying to let go of some things so I wont feel like anchored down and cannot move forward. I want to be able to skip freely through life, taking time to stop and enjoy the scenery along the way, smell the roses, so to speak...

Dont allow life and burdens to weigh you down so much that they began to defeat you. At the end of the day, our CHOICES are what determine what burdens we have, which ones we hold on to, etc. So if we, (myself included) can learn to make better choices, maybe we can take some of the weights off, and rest even if for a moment and pick them up when we're refreshed and rejuvenated and better yet, not have to pick them up at all. As long as your hands are free, may as well fill them with something thats more pleasant than a burden to carry around.

~Mo~

Just my 2 cents.

SMILE!

2011-08-12T00:08:00.000-05:00

Hey! I know I've been out of commission for a little bit. Lets blame that one on Time Warner and this old janky cable/internet installation...ugh...anyhoo, I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Just wanted to post this video and remind you to SMILE... no matter what. I LOOOOOOOVE this song and I LOOOOOOOVE to smile... just ask anybody that knows me, lol.

Smiles truly are infectious so if you wanna give people something that doesn't cost anything, but is so precious and valuable...give them your smile, they might even smile back! Some of my favorite parts of the lyrics are posted below! ~Enjoy... Mo.

Kirk Franklin- I Smile Lyrics

Today’s a new day, but there is no sunshine.

Nothing but clouds, and it’s dark in my heart

and it feels like a cold night.

Today’s a new day, but where are my blue skies.

Where is the love and the joy that you promised me

tell me it’s alright.

(I’ll be honest with you)

I almost gave up, but a power that I can’t explain,

fell from heaven like a shower now.

(When I think how much better I’m gonna be when this is over)

I smile, even though I hurt see I smile,

I know God is working so I smile,

Even though I’ve been here for a while

I smile, smile..

It’s so hard to look up when you look down.

Sure would hate to see you give up now.

You look so much better when you smile, so smile.

Today’s a new day, but there is no sunshine.

Nothing but clouds, and it’s dark in my heart

and it feels like a cold night.

Today’s a new day, but tell me where are my blue skies,

where is the love and the joy that you promised me

tell me it’s – alright.

(the truth is)

I almost gave up, but a power that I can’t explain

fell from heaven like a shower now.

I smile, even though I’m hurt see I smile,

I know God is working so I smile,

Even though I’ve been here for a while

I smile, smile.

It’s so hard to look up when you look down.

Sure would hate to see you give up now

You look so much better when you smile.

I just want you to be happy..

I want you to have joy ’cause can’t nobody

take that away from you.

I see you.. SMILE!!