Editor’s note:   This is a guest article from Tonya Vrba.  Her work has been published in newspapers and blogs.  

At least once in our life, we have heard that love comes when one isn’t looking. The dawn of online dating has somewhat changed this idea. Now, even those who are desperately searching for love can try their chances online. Participation on an online dating site does not necessarily guarantee you a happily ever after. There are certain personality traits of a person who isn’t looking for love that simply make them attractive. If you are in a slump and want nothing more than to be in a loving relationship, take note from those who are not looking.

• Confidence

  Often one of the most attractive traits a person can have is confidence in themselves. Those who are happy and single tend to have a lot of confidence in who they are as an individual. Numerous failed attempts at love can have devastating effects on confidence and make a person feel they are worthless. Spend time with friends and family who value you just as you are. You are an individual… be proud of who you are.

• Find A Hobby

  Cruising dating sites is not a hobby. Most profiles on dating sites list hobbies and interests. There are plenty of obvious hobbies people can do alone, like watching movies or reading. To make yourself stand out on and off line, try to find a hobby that can be done solo and in a group. Indoor rock climbing can often be done alone if a facility has automatic belay devices. It can also be a great activity to do together. Ed. note:  This is very important, regardless of your relationship status… hobbies are often lost as a relationship goes along.  Your hobby should be something that you truly enjoy, not something to impress others or something JUST to be doing something (alone or with others).  Some people love reading, some love writing, some love drawing, wood-working, or cooking.  It doesn’t really matter what it is that you love, nearly anything can be a hobby, and working on your hobby can be one of the most effective ways at letting go of stress and finding peace.

• Discover Your Calling

  People are often attracted to those who have a purpose. A person who is not looking for love may be focused on their career, education or another passion they have. Drive, ambition and dedication are necessary components to reach a goal. Likewise, they are also very good qualities to have in a relationship. No one will fall in love with you for being desperate, but they may fall in love with your passion for helping others or ambition to start your own business.  Discover your calling in life and go for it. – Ed. note:  Passion is the EASIEST thing to fall in love with, especially if you either share the passion, admire it, or wish you had it.  In fact, I believe it’s difficult to fall deeply in love without it.

• Don’t Be Desperate

  No one wants to feel like your caretaker. This is often where people fail, even when dating online. Someone who is desperate for love will often bend at will to anything their date says. Desperation automatically erases the gains you made with the above three qualities. There is a lot of pressure involved in being someone’s only friend, only interest, and only source of confidence. A date is likely to feel he or she cannot provide you with all you need. – Ed. note:  Actually, sometimes people DO want to be your caretaker/parental figure, or your only friend/interest/etc., but those relationships seldom work out well, as they can be overwhelming to both sides.

Remember above all else that you are deserving of love and companionship. Don’t lament the characteristics you have that make you unique. Someday, those will be the very reason someone falls in love with you. The best part of relationships, especially in the beginning, is how two people can learn and grow with one another. If you are doing all the learning and none of the teaching, you will have a problem. Embrace and love who you are.

When you can find a reason to love yourself, others will start to love you too.

Editor’s note:  This is the second guest article in a short time… are you enjoying them?  Please let me, and the author, know what you think by leaving a comment below.

Image from www.sxc.hu

Editor’s note – This is a guest post from Leanne Royer.  If you have any questions, her email is at the bottom.

Hi, how’s it going?

Do you feel like your dates are kind of boring and you are doing the same old thing? Going out to dinner and a movie?

Are you ready to take your relationship to the next level? Do you want to add some excitement back into your relationship?

I have some good news for you. Help is here at last!  I am going to give you some tips that will help YOU “spice” up your love life and add some enjoyment to your life.

Relax And Have Fun

I personally love to go on dates. There is just something about the time “away” from life allows you to relax and forget those emails, the phone ringing (turn that cell phone off) and to just get away from people (maybe the children) demanding this and that of me.

Don’t Be Lazy

It is easy for me, and I suppose you as well, to let your relationship with your sweetheart get a bit “stale.” We are busy people. After all who has time for an hour or two to just focus on the two of us?

Tell Them You Love Them

We know we love each other and are here for each other.  Correct? I for one am a woman who needs to be told AT LEAST once a day that I am loved. My husband, well he doesn’t NEED to be told as often. So he says. I tell him anyway.

Time Out

Taking time out for each other strengthens our relationship and makes us happier, more content, and better able to handle the stress of life. There is plenty to stress about. When we do make (notice I said make) the time to spend together we give the children the realization that everything is going to be okay because dad and mom are connected. They are watching us. We also know that we are on the same page, working together to build trust,
stability, and confidence.

Kind Of Date

Guess Where We’re Going – One of my favorite dates to go on is “guess where we are going.” It is fun to surprise my mate and to keep him guessing just where we are going. Usually I leave it up to him to plan the date or we do it together.

Out Of The Ordinary - Sometimes out of the ordinary is the most exciting. If it is an overnight get away I pack his bag for him and hide it in the car, then I pick him up at work. It adds mystery and anticipation to the evening ahead. It is fun being the one in the know as well as the one doing the guessing.

It doesn’t have to be over night. Just a couple of hours, or even half an hour. I’m pretty sure your sweetheart won’t forget this date for a long time!

Observations

I have looked around a restaurant while waiting for my food (yes, on one of my dates) and I can usually pick out the married couples. It isn’t just because they have children with them or because they are on the phone, although those are good indicators.

What To Look For

The married couples eat their food and look around at others or out the window. Unmarried couples do a lot of talking and looking into each other’s eyes. Interesting, huh? I guess we married people have run out of topics to discuss. That is why we especially have to liven up our date nights and be a little more creative.

Working Out Your Differences

Did you know that 50% of marriages fail? Wow! That tells me that I need to work harder at giving to my sweetheart. Make him feel special. After all, why wouldn’t I try my hardest to impress the person closest to me?

The Meaning Of Love

Here is what love means to me:  It is being willing to give when I don’t feel like it, listening (even though I know I’m right), respecting my husband, and doing whatever it takes (within reason) to make him happy.  - Ed. Note: Figure out what it means to you, and what it means to the other person, and you’ve got a head start on a great relationship.

Keep Trying

We all know that life is not perfect, and neither are our relationships. Some people give up and run away when things get tough. We also know that doesn’t fix anything, and often times makes things worse.

Lasting Love

The one thing that most couples dream about (at least in the beginning) is a love that will last a lifetime. I know I have learned more about who I am since I’ve been married. The good, as well as the bad, has come out.

Work It Out

Working out the problem areas in my marriage has strengthened our relationship and can give us the life together we always dreamed of.  You can have the same thing too, if you are willing to give a little extra of your time.

Make Memories

I have a quote hanging on my wall and it goes like this: “Life is a journey, not a destination.” When you look at it like that, let’s go have some fun! Make some lasting memories! Get out the candles, turn out the lights! Tell your sweetheart what you appreciate about them today!

What Are YOU Going To Do

So now it is up to you. How creative and fun do you want your relationship to be? I am working on a project, and can keep giving you tips and ideas as we go along. To do this I need your feedback. So please send me an
email to DatingForReal@Aweber.com and let me know what you think.

There is no risk just fun and GREAT relationships to be had.

Ed. Note – How did you like this guest post?  Please let both the author and me know in the comments.

Image from www.sxc.hu

There is no “fix”.  There is no fast solution.  There is a path you can take out of that darkness, destruction, and brokenness, though.

The First Step Is Acknowledging The Relationship Is Broken

Once someone has done something that completely breaks your trust, whatever betrayal it is, from cheating to lying about important things to stealing to revealing private information, the relationship that you had is broken.  That specific relationship, with that specific person, is over.

That doesn’t mean that you can’t have a relationship with that person… you just can’t have THAT relationship any more.  You’re going to have to start over, and build a new relationship from the ground up.

The Second Step Is Placing Blame Where It Belongs

Once you understand that the relationship is broken, you can move to the next step, which is placing blame where it belongs.  This probably doesn’t mean what you think, or maybe even want, it to mean.  What I mean is that you need to understand, and acknowledge, that each of you is directly, and solely, responsible for your own actions.  Whatever it is that they did, they chose to do.  It doesn’t matter what you did, or didn’t do… what they chose to do is their responsibility.

This cuts both ways, too, though.  Anything that you did, or didn’t do, is your own choice, and therefore your own responsibility.  You may not want to admit this, either, but in any broken relationship, their is usually wrongdoing on both sides, though they may be in completely different ways… one person may have cheated, while the other simply didn’t share their inner thoughts and feelings, the things that matter to them, both good and bad (sometimes just because they don’t want to “burden” the other person).  Over time, however, not sharing can lead to you growing apart, which can lead to the relationship being mostly empty, which can lead to the cheating.  Each side is responsible for their own actions in this… not sharing doesn’t CAUSE them to cheat.  They choose to do that.

The Third Step Is Giving Yourself Room (And Time)

If someone betrays you, they often (if they still have feelings for you) want you to forgive them, and try to work things out, immediately.  It would be nice if it worked that way, but it doesn’t.

You need to take time for yourself.  If it is your significant other, make sure that you have time away from them.  That doesn’t mean you can’t see them, but make sure that you have time when you are not with them, as well.

This time is generally best taken in the evening, and it is usually best outside.  You can just go for a walk, or you can go to the park and sit on a bench, or whatever and wherever you want, just as long as it’s some place that you won’t be interrupted.  You need to just have time to get some mental and emotional distance from the pain.  It helps most people to be outside, and especially somewhere that there is nature around them… you can let yourself get lost looking at the stars, or a tree, or flowers, or whatever… just let your eyes lose focus, and then let your mind do the same thing.

The Fourth Step Is Deciding

The fourth step is deciding whether you want to forge a new relationship with the person who betrayed you.  You can’t really make this decision without a little mental distance.

If you decide you don’t want to forge a new relationship, then you are going to have to begin to separate yourself mentally and emotionally from the person.  This usually is not quick or easy… even if you feel like it is, the pain is often just buried (if that’s not the case, there’s a pretty good chance that the relationship wasn’t that deep, at least on your side, to begin with).  Continue to give yourself room and time, and the healing will come… you may sometimes take two steps forward and one step back, or simply fall down, but with a little room and time, you’ll recover.

If you decide that you do want a relationship with the person, you need to start over.  You need to get to know each other all over again, do things together, talk to each other, and build a relationship from scratch.  You are both going to have to give, and accept, a clean slate, or the damage from the broken relationship is going to interfere with the new one you are trying to build.

The Path Continues

The path doesn’t end after these four steps, no matter which decision you make.  It continues forever, in whatever relationship you build next, whether that’s with the person who betrayed you or not.  The path continues, with making sure that you have room for yourself being important for the rest of your life, and needing to share yourself in a relationship never goes away… the relationship can only be as deep as you let the other person inside you.

The pain from betrayal, from cheating especially, is intense… but it can be healed.  Taking one step, and then another, will lead you upward and out of the pain you feel.

That way is simple touch.

This can be as simple as shaking hands when you first meet someone… that initial touch forms a very simple bond, but it bypasses a little of the “stranger” alert system that sits in the back of our minds.  If you are greeting a friend and you hug them, it renews the bonds between you, letting you skip the little small talk ritual that otherwise might apply.

This goes all the way up to strengthening a marriage, too… any marriage that doesn’t involve frequent touch is nearly certain to drift apart.  This can range from holding hands to snuggling, from “footsie” to kissing and more.

People are all hardwired this way… touch releases oxytocin, which is a chemical that some scientists even refer to as “the trust hormone”.  It is part of the bonding between parent and child, between husband and wife, and even between friends… it can actually be the difference between being friends and being acquaintances or “friends”.

Touch, however, can also have negative effects, if the other person already has a negative view of you, even if that view is temporary.  It’s easy to understand what I mean… picture someone you can’t stand kissing you, and that revulsion you feel, that pushing away, is what I mean.

Just as oxytocin bonds you closer together, adrenaline can have the reverse effect, strengthening a negative association in the subconscious with that person.  The fact that is does it in the subconscious can make this even worse, as the association can affect things for a long time without the person even knowing why.

The take away here is that if you have a positive relationship that you would like to be stronger, reach out to the person… literally.

PS – Although adrenaline can have a negative effect on an already negative association, it can also have a strongly positive effect on a neutral to positive relationship… this is a major factor in the brotherhood that comes from dangerous occupations like firemen, police, or the military.  It’s also why things like amusement parks can be a fast way to make a relationship stronger, whether that is friends, relatives, or something else, as long as both people actually enjoy the rush.

Picture from SXC.

That’s where we’re wrong, though (and yes, I’m intentionally including me… I’ve been stuck in this mindset for a while now).  There is something that we can do… and we even know what it is.

Alright… enough build up.  If you want to make your life more the way that you want it, all you need to do is pick one area that you want to change, one goal you want to reach.  Now figure out one small step you can take to move in that direction.

When I say small, I mean small.  I’m talking about a step small enough that you can do it today, and have it take less than an hour.  If you feel alone in your life, your one small step might be to reach out to one person today… it could be someone you know, or a stranger.  If you don’t like your job, your one small step might be to figure out what job would make you happy.

Even one small step forward makes a huge difference in your mindset, your mental state.  It can start to change your whole outlook, not just on the one area, but on life in general.  It can start to relieve stress, depression, and being overwhelmed… with just one step.

If you keep taking small steps, one step per day, you’ll soon find yourself a lot further along than you expected.  You’ll also start to teach yourself to approach life, and problems, that way, and you’ll begin to notice that your life is a lot more positive, happy… more the way you want it.

This article, by the way, is my one small step for today.

PS – If you subscribe by email, you can also find A Miracle A Day on Facebook, and as of yesterday, A Miracle A Day is on Google+, as well.  Feel free to connect with me in either place (though I spend more time on Google+), and interact… I answer any email, Facebook message, etc., that I see.

Image from SXC.

Do you remember the actual way things looked, like a photograph or video?  Or do you remember a description of what happened, like a journal entry?

Memories form a huge part of who we are.  They are, after all, your history… all of the events that have led you to where you are today (all of the ones that you can consciously remember, at least).

The way that you remember your past has a huge impact on how you act and react to other people and the world in general.  It is often easier to attach emotion to already existing images, whether photographs, a movie, or visual memories, for instance.  At the same time, however, the depth of emotion attached is often greater with images generated from words.

It is easy to come up with examples.  You are far more likely to feel an emotional reaction to a story about a natural disaster when there is a picture or video of the aftermath.  Your connection with a character, or a story in general, however, is likely much greater when you read the book than when you watch the movie.

These are not universally true… the depth of emotion from a picture of your wedding night, or your baby’s first steps, or something similar may be as great or greater than the picture formed from a description of that.  You can also easily attach emotion to a story about a parent who lost their child without needing a picture.

These exceptions do more to show the general truth of the rule than they do to contradict it, however.

The two ways of remembering have an impact on the way we think, as well.  A person with a visual memory is, in general, considerably more likely to be able to deal with small details well.  The person with the verbal memory, on the other hand, likely finds it easier to do a quick analysis of large amounts of information.

Even more than ability, though, the two ways of remembering have a great impact on our preferences.  A person with a verbal memory may have plenty of ability to deal with small details… but is highly unlikely to enjoy it.  A person with a visual memory may be able to analyze large amounts of information, but not want a job that requires them to do so regularly.

The two forms of memory are not completely exclusive, either.  A person with a visual memory can still remember words and descriptions, and a person with a verbal memory can still remember pictures, and even more so, generate pictures from the words they remember to describe whatever it is.

Those of you with a visual memory may want to look closer at the second image in this article to better understand… that is a picture formed entirely from letters.  While this is not literally what people with a verbal memory do, it can make the idea a more concrete concept for people who do not remember in words.

The way you tend to remember things is not something that can be changed, though you can explicitly remember specific things in the other manner, if it is important.  I have a verbal memory, but I’ll never forget the way my wife’s eyes looked at our wedding, or the sight of my baby a few days old at home, or a few other of the most important moments in my life.  I’m certain my wife, who has a visual memory, could name a few things that she will never forget, verbally (though she may have a mental image of the words… I’m not entirely certain).

If you were to attempt to constantly remember things in whichever way is not natural to you, however, it would take so much ongoing mental effort that you would basically be unable to function at a normal level.  You would find yourself constantly mentally exhausted.

It is difficult, even when you know that someone thinks and remembers the other way, to truly understand.  It is somewhat like a blind person and a deaf person trying to communicate to each other the things around them.  The deaf person can try to imagine what sound would, well, sound like, and the blind person can try to guess what things would look like, but the concepts are so foreign that they are likely to be wrong more often than right.

That doesn’t mean that they can’t find a way to communicate, though.  It’s just that a large part of the way that one perceives things is missing from the way the other experiences them.  That means that things that are perfectly clear to one person may be confusing or completely misinterpreted by the other.

If you understand that the other person thinks and remembers in a way that is actually foreign to you, it can help you to figure out better ways to communicate with them.  It can help you to better understand and connect with them.  It can even help you to forgive them if you understand that what they did simply didn’t have the same meaning to them that it did to you.

Pictures from Flick – here and here

PS – I have not conducted a scientific study, but based on the people I have known, visual memory is more common than verbal memory.  This seems, again from the people that I know, to be even more true for women than for men, though men still seem to more commonly have visual memory than verbal.

All of which makes me curious… which way doyouremember?

When I say blame, I mean whether you truly believe something is the person’s fault or not.  You might say, for instance, that little Suzie shouldn’t have pushed the other child in her class… but if you are truly thinking “He must have done something to deserve it.”, you don’t truly blame her.

The change in the rules for whether or not you blame someone are pretty easy to predict when it comes to other people.  The closer you feel to them, the less likely you are to blame them for something.  If someone you love does something bad, you will look for circumstances and related evidence that shows, at least to you, that it is not their fault.  If someone you dislike does something good, you will look for circumstances and related evidence that shows, to you, that they had selfish motivations for doing so.

When it comes down to your own actions, the same sort of thing appears to apply, at least on the surface.  If you love yourself, you will look for excuses to not blame yourself for your own actions.  If you dislike yourself, you will find reasons to not even credit yourself for the good that you do.

In my experience far more people fall into the latter category.  They blame themselves for things where they would not blame anyone else for the exact same actions.

Part of this comes from the fact that we know, for certain, our own thoughts and motivations.  Few people truly have completely pure motivations when they do something, even something that seems completely selfless to others.  When you look at your own actions, then, you have all of that to associate with the action and take away the goodness of the action.  The same sort of thing holds true for bad deeds, as well… not only do you know what the action was, you also know all of the bad thoughts, feelings, etc., that went with it, making it even worse.

This is a vicious cycle, too… the more you blame yourself for everything you do, the less you like yourself, and the more you look for things you can blame on yourself.  You often even start blaming yourself for things that are outside your control… for the happiness of those around you, for instance, or your lack of talent in one area or another (you can gain skill, but not talent… to others skill may appear as talent, but talent is innate ability, without training).

Mostly this happens at the subconscious level.  You don’t even realize that you are blaming yourself for things that you would never even consider thinking was someone’s fault if the same thing happened to them.

This has a huge impact, but it comes slowly… it is an ongoing injury that only bleeds a few drops at a time.  There is no noticeable impact for weeks, months, sometimes even years.  It’s so gradual, in fact, that you often don’t notice it at all… you just get more tired, more easily overwhelmed, or angered, or other negative emotions and reactions.

Even if you only bleed a few drops at a time, you will eventually bleed dry.  Infusions from positive things happening in your life (finding your soul mate, having a baby, getting your dream job) can help out, but if you don’t stop the bleeding, even the strongest man will fall.

How do you stop the bleeding?  You can learn to focus on the positive things in your life, and that will generally slow and maybe even stop the bleeding.  If you really want to heal, though, you have to learn to take a step back from your life, mentally, and look at your self the way you would look at another person.

Would you blame your best friend for the fact that they had not fulfilled all of their dreams?  Would you blame your brother or sister if they occasionally fail?  If you wouldn’t blame someone else in the same situation, then you need to let go of the blame you are laying at your own feet.

It is hard to do this, and it is easy to slip back into blaming your self for everything.  It does become easier with time, though, and the peace that accompanies releasing the guilt and blame is nothing short of amazing when you first experience it.

Broken dreams, like broken toys, cannot be fixed while you cling to them.  You have to let go first… then you may find that they can be restored, sometimes better than they ever were.

It’s just sitting there, giving no indication of direction, no hint of meaning, no hidden answers.  Often even the question isn’t there… or even the beginning of the question.

I solve problems.  I answer questions.  I fix things that are broken.  I see patterns in things, and seeing those patterns allows me to see what needs to be done.  A lot of my sense of who I am, of self, involves those things.

Sometimes, though, there’s just the blank wall to stare at.  There is no pattern to see.

This isn’t just that I haven’t figured out which thing to do next, but truly have no idea even where to look.  It all just looks blank.

I can solve nearly any computer related problem.  I can solve most relationship problems.  I can even figure out how to fix broken toys.  Even when I’m staring at that blank wall, I can solve all of these things for other people.

Sometimes, though, when it comes to me, I find myself staring at a blank wall.

In my own life I don’t always know what to do, or even who to ask or where to look.  It makes me want to look all the harder, but sometimes that is not the answer.

Sometimes you just have to admit the wall is blank… Sometimes you just have to accept that you don’t have the answer.

Sometimes now is a good time to start.

Oh, and if you recognize the feeling that I am talking about, here is one more thing for you… You are not alone.

Picture from Flickr.

Two of those choices will lead to that relationship fading away, maybe slowly, maybe quickly, but it will eventually be a thing of the past.  Only one choice keeps your relationship together, moving forward.

This is true in any relationship, whether it’s business, family, friends, and especially your significant other.  The more you interact with someone in a positive, active way, the closer and stronger your relationship with that person will become… that’s why businesses with great customer service also tend to have highly loyal customers, but if that service drops off, so does the loyalty.  The couples with the strongest relationships are also usually the ones who find things to do together that they both enjoy.

Here’s how each of  the choices affect your relationships:

Love (Actively Moving Closer)

The very act of choosing to do something actively with the intention of strengthening your relationship opens you up more to the other person, forming new lines of connection that provide more ways to become closer, more of a foundation to build yet more lines upon.

There is an extremely important phrase in that last sentence that many people will pass right over… with the intention of strengthening your relationship.  If you do something, even something that seems right, for any other reason,  it will be at best passively letting it sit, and can even be actively pushing it away.  Other reasons include everything from feeling obligated to pity to trying to do the specifics of a guide to “getting closer” without understanding the meaning behind the words and actions.

Choosing love can be easy or hard, but it has to be your choice to truly work, long term.  The choices that you make have to have meaning to you… you have to desire to build the relationship, not just follow a set of instructions.

Marriage counseling, for example, can fit into any of the three categories… if you are both choosing to do it as a way to strengthen your relationship, it is choosing love, and it will strengthen that relationship.  If one of you is doing it out of obligation, or to avoid fights, it is passive, choosing apathy, and does nothing.  If one of you thinks that it is a waste of time (or money), it will actively drive you apart.

Customer service is very similar… if your customer service person actively likes helping people, and identifies with the customer, it will strengthen that relationship.  If they are following a script, like most first level call center employees, it is at best neutral, and does nothing to strengthen the relationship.  If the person resents the job, even if they do the same thing as the first person who loves the job, they are likely to have a negative effect on the relationship between the business and that customer.

The choice of love, of actively strengthening the relationship, brings you closer.

Apathy (Passive)

As the Rush song says, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”  That’s as true in relationships as anything else.

The thing that most people don’t consciously consider, at least not very often, is that all relationships naturally grow apart over time.  That’s because you get close as the people that you are at one point in your lives, but as your lives go on, you change.  You become different people, and without actively forming new bonds, those people are less and less connected… you simply shed some of the pieces of you where the bonds between you are anchored.

This is true in personal relationships from marriage to friendship, and in business.  How strong is your connection to someone you last saw five years ago, compared to someone you saw five days ago?  Which one are you most likely to think of?  Or for business, how much easier is it to sell something new to a customer you are actively involved with (in a positive way, of course) than someone you last spoke to three years ago?

The choice of apathy, or passively not doing anything, leads to weakening relationships over time.

Rejection (Actively Pushing Away)

Unfortunately, it’s very easy to actively push someone away without consciously deciding to do so.

You can do this when you are upset, hurting, or overwhelmed by things that have absolutely nothing to do with the other person in the relationship… you just act defensively, keeping them outside the “safety zone”.  You push them just far enough away to keep them from hurting you, which happens to be far enough away to start the whole relationship moving down the path to being history.

It can be from things like being resentful of where you are or what you feel like you are being forced to do. It can come from things not going right at home (for business) or at work (for personal relationships).  It can come from grief when someone close to you dies, or from simply feeling overwhelmed at all of the things that you feel you need to do (feeling like you are so far from where you “should” be, looking at the end point rather than the path to get there).

Rejection, in fact, is more often unconscious, or subconscious, than intentional.  You are far more likely to “take it out” on someone than you are to choose to push that person away from you.

The choice of rejection leads to relationships weakening quickly… so quickly it’s hard to believe when you look back.

Every day, in every relationship, you make a choice… did you choose love today?  What will you choose tomorrow?

Picture from Flickr

Picture from Flickr