A Mirror with a Memory

Ed in Chairs

2014-08-11T17:30:00.000-07:00

Well, we made it to Ohio.

(I'm posting about 7 weeks late. Sorry.)

The trip (about 5 days and 2,400 miles) and events that led up to the trip (getting our house ready to sell) and events after the trip (unpacking, and getting my lab/work set up) have caused a delay in writing this blog.

Anyway, instead of documenting our trip for you all like a normal person, I've decided to take a different approach.

Our dog, Ed, loves to sit in chairs. It's his hobby. Every hotel we stayed in (as well as at Tony's parents' home), I got a picture of Ed in a chair.

Here he is in his natural habitat (our home in California) while we were packing:

Don't mind me, napping in Mom's favorite chair...

Squeaky is just. too. far.

In Kingman, AZ. Ok, so technically, he's on an ottoman, but the girth of his rear end is pretty funny.

In Albuquerque, NM: "MOM. I don't fit!?!"

Much Better...

In some craphole in nowhere, Oklahoma.

At home in Missouri: Ah, finally reunited with Fwibbie.

Let's just stay here and play, okay?

The Happiest Place on Earth...

2014-02-16T17:34:00.001-08:00

We went to Disneyland for Tony's birthday this year, and it was a wonderful day. Tony's parents had bought us Park Hopper Passes (you can go to both California Adventure and Disneyland parks) back in 2011. Thankfully, Disney is all about customer service and the passes were STILL GOOD--we didn't even have to pay a difference in cost.

The day started off really well: no traffic on the way from San Diego, and as soon as we got to the park, people started wishing Tony a happy birthday :)

In fact, they even gave him a special birthday button. Since he was a good sport and wore the button all day, he was wished "Happy Birthday" about 50 times. He had such a big grin (pictured in ham-tastic fashion above) the whole day. It made my heart soar.

People watching in Flo's Cafe (Cars Land, California Adventure).

Cars Land was by far our favorite area in the parks--it looked exactly like the movie! The 50s era auto-centric architecture was beautiful.

Even at 9:30 AM, the park was starting to get busy...

Lighting McQueen made an appearance, and all the little kids went nuts. I was much more excited earlier in the day when we saw Mater :).

Above is my only picture in "A Bug's Land". It was also really interesting looking: the sidewalks were lined with these towering clovers.

Mad Hatter's Tea Party Lounge

In the Disneyland part of the park there were tons of characters walking around. I was a little creeped out by them, but I remember loving to take pictures with them when I was a kid!

Iconic, and especially beautiful with the trees in bloom!

Near the entrance of Tomorrowland

Tom Sawyer's Island

Mark Twain Steamboat. We went on a tour of the Rivers of America on this boat later in the day. There were so many people in the park, we needed to get away.

Birthday boy trying to figure out what to do next...

Jungle area in Adventureland...

Sculpture outside of Space Mountain (our only really disappointing part of the day was that Space Mountain broke down while we were in line for it--thankfully we'd only been waiting for about 15 minutes).

Matterhorn Bobsled Ride

Sleeping Beauty's Castle

Happy day!

It's a Small World...the ride was out of operation and Tony was thankful--apparently is scared the heck out of him as a kid.

Starting our Mark Twain River Cruise...

It was really crowded. Maybe it wasn't crowded for Disneyland, but it was definitely crowded for me.

Pirate's Lair on Tom Sawyer's Island

Gullywumper

Waiting in line for Indiana Jones--our favorite ride!

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride: I was SO scared of this ride when I was a little kid.

Right before we got into the car (Yes, we had Mr. Toad's car!), we saw a dad try and comfort his little boy as they were getting off the ride. The boy had the dickens scared out of him--I'm sure 5 year old Lisa looked equally as distraught. Thankfully, the ride is much less impressive as an adult...

All in all, it was a wonderful day. I'm so glad we were able to experience Disneyland during the last few months of our time in Southern California and celebrate Tony's birthday in such an exciting way!

The Hiatus

2014-01-01T16:23:00.002-08:00

Where have I been the last 6 months?

Everywhere--well, not exactly, though it certainly felt like it. Nowhere--working at my kitchen table, papers, books, coffee mugs and a cat spread out around me.

I applied for tenure-track positions this past fall at small, liberal arts institutions. I was incredibly humbled and encouraged by the process, which was simultaneously grueling and rewarding. I heard back positively (i.e., I was asked to do on-site interviews) from 70% of the institutions to which I applied, and received an offer I couldn't refuse early on in the process.

This summer we will be moving to Oberlin, Ohio, where I'll start my independent career as an academic scientist at Oberlin College. I'll be teaching undergraduates in biochemistry and chemistry, and I'll be starting my own laboratory and studying problems that I think are (really) interesting. I'm still in shock, and the idea seems very surreal. In fact, I feel like I'm writing a piece of fiction right now, but I'm not. I'm going to be on the tenure-track, which means I still have a bit more "uphill" to go. Academic curiosity, intellectual freedom and some ridiculously bright students are around the corner.

We visited Missouri for Christmas (we go there every other year for Christmas--on the off years, we've stayed at home to try and save money). We had a nice relaxing time visiting with family and catching up on rest. I've included a boat load of photos from our trip to make up for my absence.

Here's to 2014 and all of the new, exciting things to come.

This is LT, one of their pups.

This ice-covered bush looks like something out of a science fiction movie.

The other pup, Shadow, is a curious, loving little fellow.

Everything was shrouded in ice.

Later in the week there was a thaw. The trees that were coated with ice caused what seemed like a rain shower.

Babbling creek bed.

I love this guy. I conveniently cropped the raccoon crap out of the photo (the raccoon decided the dock was obviously the best place to poop).

Which way is up?

Juniper berries

Playful Pups

2013-07-14T13:24:00.002-07:00

Summers in inland Southern California are waaarrrrmmm. And by warm, I mean blazing hot. And dry.

Normally we keep the pups down on the dog run during the day when we're at work--it's constantly shaded, cooler and we have a little dog-shanty for them there to help beat the heat.

Those boys love to play, though. Even during the brutal heat of summer, they are ready for a game of fetch! I, however, am a different story.

I try to humor them a little bit, all the while making sure they don't get overheated.

They love to play fetch with their "fwibbie". Side note: that is a name my husband calls their frisbee. My husband is not one for baby-talk, except when he's around Ed. Then he's all mushy. I would advise not bringing this up much as he will 1) deny, deny, deny and 2) give you "the look".

We also purchased a $10 kidde-pool so the boys could play a bit in the water while we are supervising them.

Yes, that is a layer of dirt on the bottom--don't judge.

Ralphie loves the water, but Ed...well, not so much.

Ed gingerly tries to retrieve the fwibbe from the evil water.

Ralph really gets in there...

I hope you all are enjoying your summer and beating the heat!

How does your garden grow?

2013-04-29T12:10:00.002-07:00

Spring arrived in early March to Escondido. I'd saved up a few photos to post here for when the time was right.

I suppose now is as good a time as any...

I like photographing nature more than people. Perhaps it's because I feel like I'm more likely to capture the depth of a leaf in a photo, while it's incredibly hard to represent a person (or even a part of a person) in a single photograph.

Plus, Nature rarely has a bad hair day...

Watering: an absolute necessity in the barren, arid climate of Escondido.

A few things I learned in grad school...

2013-04-22T16:49:00.000-07:00

Note: It's taken me several months to write this post. I started in February, and obviously I needed to do some processing before writing things down here. This isn't meant to be a sob story, and I certainly don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. These are just a few (big) things I've learned over the past few years and how they've changed me for the better.

In the weeds

I've had a few months to process the last couple of years of my life. A few months is not nearly enough time to really understand what changed in me (my personality, my emotional well-being, etc.) and what I did in reaction to what my life was during grad school. A few months is enough time to see the major themes that developed over the course of four and a half years.

Vasculature

1. Failure in life is inevitable. Most grad students in the chemical and biological sciences know this truth intimately. I failed all. the. time. Everyday, probably. Multiple times a day. This experiment wouldn't work (for the millionth time), so I would try for the 1,000,001th time with a tiny variation to one parameter. Graduate school taught me to be comfortable in failure, to harness my frustration and to know when tenacity alone isn't going to make the experiment work. Failure is no longer terrifying to me. I certainly try my hardest for those things that matter most in life, but I know if (when) I fail at those things, life doesn't end. Not fearing failure means I'm quite courageous when trying to do new things (both inside and outside of science). Now, that doesn't mean I just throw caution to the wind (I'm still a very analytical person), but I don't get hung up on things because I'm afraid they won't work when I try to do them the first time.

2. I can survive any nasty comment you throw at me--blatant or subversive. "Stick and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me..." I'd like to throttle the idiot who said that, and the people who decided to teach it to us while we were children. Words hurt. As an adult, words are your weapons. If one feels like someone is threatening him or her, words will be slung around like a machete--damn the long term consequences, because this person needs to feel better NOW. In the beginning (and the middle, and even towards the end...) of grad school cutting comments were a really big problem for me. In the beginning, when I was with my entering class, I noticed how mean some of the students could be, especially if they felt like their intelligence was being challenged. The reality is, most of us were the best-of-the-best as undergrads, and many felt like it was their duty to let everyone else know just how smart (and how much better) they were compared to everyone else.

For me, that nonsense gets old very quickly. That posturing becomes especially ridiculous when you perceive it coming from your superiors, which I did. I'd like to think I'm pretty unassuming intellectually (I tend to let people talk and think I agree with them, when in reality I think they're totally incorrect), so I was particularly saddened and frustrated when I felt like my intelligence and ability were constantly under attack.

In the end, I think I've developed some thicker skin, and I'm far less likely to let someone mortally wound me with their personal opinions. Also, I've realized I can stare down the best of them. Sometimes looks are more withering than words, and are effective weaponry when used in the proper context.

Weeds in bloom.

3. Depression is tangible and horrific at its best. I think many of us feel blue from time-to-time, and carelessly say "Oh, I'm depressed today." Depression is absolutely on a sliding scale, and one person's observation of depression may vary greatly from others' observations. I thought I knew depression back when I was growing up--feeling reclusive and down about the way I looked/presented myself. I'm here to tell that middle school/high school-Lisa that she was just fine back then, and feeling that kind of angst is akin to emotional growing pains.

Intangibly, depression was a wispy darkness that engulfed me, holding me hostage for a ransom that I can't begin to understand. It started out as a speck of black at the very center of me, and it manifested itself slowly, over time, creeping and seeping out into me with every unjust criticism and inexplicable failure. At one moment, it was too much to bear. The blackness vastly outweighed my light, and I broke. Tangibly, depression took away my eating, sleeping and ability to focus--3 main early warning signs I now pay attention to if I'm worried about spiraling downward again.

Truthfully, in the thick of it, I thought I was permanently damaged. I was so afraid for my husband and my family--what a burden I was going to be! But...I survived this depression. Through the intensive care of doctors and a gifted therapist, I was able to control the depression (mostly through medication), face it (mostly through talking with my therapist, family, and friends) and finish my doctorate. The damage wasn't permanent (both my psychiatrist and my therapist had a hunch that this was the case), though there are emotional scars here and there to remind me of the battle.

How did this change me? The real question is 'how did it NOT change me?'. The biggest change is my newfound ability to freely show compassion. My heart breaks for those with mental illness now, because I've walked in their shoes. My heart breaks for graduate students (and those with incredibly demanding jobs), because I know exactly how hard the gauntlet is to run. Surviving this depression forced me to be introspective, and to find out exactly what kind of substance I'm made of. Thankfully, I had an outstanding support system to get me through this battle, but I know that I have a lot of fight in me. While I don't think I could have made it through grad school all on my own, I know that my tenacity and perseverance were substantially influential in initially seeking out help, and also getting through this depression. I am powerful when I am determined.

Like I said in the beginning of this incredibly long-winded post, I'm not looking for pity. I'm good (maybe even great!) now that I'm in a new environment. I know what to look out for now in a professional environment, and I'm taking the lessons I've learned in grad school and moving forward. Drudging up the sad/terrible past is not productive (perhaps this is why it took me so long to write this entire post--I kept feeling awful and had to stop writing), which is why I'm so looking forward to what the future is going to bring.

Here's to these three lessons. May their positive outcomes help shape my life.

Guatemala, Days 3 and 4

2013-03-23T19:25:00.000-07:00

The final two days we were in Antigua were a complete whirlwind. Saturday was the day of the wedding, which kicked off with a ladies brunch for the women family members of the bride and groom and the bridesmaids. The brunch, and the room where we got ready in were all at the Hotel El Camino Real--a place I sure wouldn't mind staying if we ever travel back to Antigua.

At the brunch all of the bridesmaids wore traditional Guatemalan shirts called huipils. Each one was a different color and pattern, which represented a different region of Guatemala.

Brittni had zippers put in the back so that we could wear the huipils while we were getting our hair and makeup ready and prevent smudges from pulling a shirt over our heads.

With the lovely bride!

That's my girl :)...

Meanwhile, while the girls were spending time with B-bear and getting ready, Tony and a few of the other guys went on a walking tour of Antigua.

The tour started off in the Parque Central (apparently this is where the governor of Antigua lives?).

Volcan de Fuego? Agua? Sigh.

Sand sacrifice. These sand murals were also along the aisles of Brittni and Nick's wedding.

Ruins from an earthquake in the late 1800s

Entrance down into the catacombs.

This guy :). We chatted a bunch at the wedding reception--he came to the conclusion that Tony belongs in the South. He's probably right :).

Hermano Pedro's Hospital

Beautiful tiles in an old awning

Another volcano--I think these might be Acatenango and Fuego, but I really have no clue...

And here we have this guy!! This isn't Tony (look closely), though they do have similar facial hair color :). This guy was quite the dancer at the reception....

Macaws in the courtyard of a fancy hotel

An old Mayan market in Antigua

The church where the ceremony for Brittni and Nick's wedding was held: Convento de las Capuchinas

After all the bridesmaids and groomsmen walked down the aisle, the doors closed and the music changed. The church was lit with hundreds of candles, and everyone seated turned around in anticipation of seeing the beautiful bride. The doors (which are probably 15-20 feet tall) dramatically opened, and Brittni was escorted by her father down the aisle. Most of the bridesmaids (well, I can really only speak about those who were on either side of me) began to cry. I certainly wasn't able to hold back the emotion. Her entrance was such a powerful image, I don't think I'll ever forget that moment.

The vows were said, communion was taken, a worship song was sung (in both English and Spanish!), and then, the covenant was sealed with a kiss.

The reception was also a blast--there was a great dinner, a flash mob dance to Hall and Oates "You Make My Dreams Come True" (Tony was a critical part in it--so proud of him!), salsa dancing and general merriment.

With Suzi, a friend and fellow Trinity alum. We had on a LOT of makeup y'all. Where are my freckles? Also, you can totally tell I had been crying. Super :).

This photo and the one above it were taken directly from Suzi's blog--check out her full post for her Guatemalan experience!

With the beautiful bride!

After many laughs and tears at the reception (y'all should ask me about the soup incident if you have the chance...funny in retrospect, not as funny when I was all worked up and emotional about the wedding ;)...), we headed home for the evening to pack our treasures (COFFEE!) and belongings and get ready for the last day of our trip.

Sunday morning Nick's granny hosted a farewell brunch that was a delicious, traditional Guatemalan breakfast of eggs (an omelet), black beans, cheese, salsa and fruit. The view from the patio where we ate was magnificent.

A view of 2 volcanoes. Fuego is on the left, and it was chugging out smoke all morning (and throughout most of our trip). See the smoke?!? Awesome.

Sweet Julie. We nearly died in a Tuk Tuk together :)...

Sunday was a hard day for me. I had to say goodbye to Brittni not knowing when I would see her next. Oof, just typing that put a lump in my throat. Being an adult is hard. I'm sure that we'll continue to walk through life together (albeit long distance, at least for now), but it's still hard not having a set date to look forward to seeing each other again.

Going to Guatemala was such a fantastic and memorable trip. I was so delighted to see Brittni walk down the aisle and to meet Nick in person. Here's to many, many years of marital bliss for the newlyweds!

Guatemala, Day 2

2013-03-21T17:49:00.000-07:00

Day 2 of our Guatemala trip found me and Tony parting ways. He went on a day-long excursion to the Iximche ruins, while I spent the day with the rest of the bridesmaids getting pampered. I didn't take any photos that day, but Tony did! (Be thankful I didn't take photos, because most of them from the morning spa-portion would look like photo #11 in the last post. Lots of bonding happened, that's for sure!)

I can't take credit for the composition of these photos, which I think is absolutely outstanding. Tony is naturally talented in many things (fixing any machine of any kind that breaks, heavy (and not-so-heavy) lifting, etc.), but I wouldn't have guessed that photography is a natural talent of his. All that to say, I think these photos are spectacular and he did a wonderful job!

On the way to the ruins:

These colorfully decorated buses would travel from Guatemala City (and probably other parts of Guatemala) to Antigua. Guys would hang out the door yelling "GUATE, GUATE, GUATE!!!" This is what Tony and I so inappropriately called "chicken buses". I bet you can guess why...

The Iximche Ruins:

A ball court

A sacrificial altar.

A moat surrounding the ruined temple

Shamans performed a ceremony for the tourists...

A beautiful Sacrifice.

After the ruins, the tour guide took Tony and the other guests to one of the oldest (if not the oldest) church in Guatemala. Tony said the church was established in the mid-1500s, and has not succumbed to any of the numerous natural disasters (earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, etc.) that plaque the area.

Later that evening we all got together after the wedding rehearsal for a wonderful rehearsal dinner at the Welten. After a great meal and many heartfelt speeches, we were all escorted out to the street for a special fireworks show.

I was able to spend time with a friend from Trinity and fellow bridesmaid, Suzi. I was so happy to hang out with her! You can hear about her experience in Guatemala here!

This, my friends, was the fireworks show. El Torito Loco. This man basically wrapped a towel around his shoulders and shot BIG ASS fireworks off of his back. Not just dinky roman candles...like big "BOOM in the sky" fireworks. OFF HIS BACK, y'all!?!?! It was a pretty scary thing to watch, but quite memorable :). There's no way that man can hear.

Stay tuned for the photos I have of Tony's walking tour on the day of the wedding, a few shots from the ladies's brunch and the wedding reception. I didn't take too many the day of the wedding--I was unexpectedly emotional, and every time I took a photo of (or in) something that had to do with the wedding, I'd get all worked up.

Also, I'm planning on making online photo albums of ALL of the photos we took while in Guatemala to those who are interested (family and friends). I'll let you know when those albums get made :).

Guatemala, Day 1

2013-03-20T15:27:00.000-07:00

Last week, Tony and I were in Antigua, Guatemala for the wedding of my best friend from college. It was an amazing (and very full) few days, and I was so happy to be there to share that milestone in her life with her.

Since I was a part of the bridal party, most of the days we were there I spent doing various (fun!) bridesmaid-y things. The first day of our trip, however, Tony and I explored Antigua and a nearby coffee plantation (Finca Filadelfia). Below are some of the pictures from the first day of our trip--enjoy!

Iglesia y Convento de Nuestra Señora de la Merced

Tones :)

Floats of the stages of the cross

Santa Catalina Arch, Antigua

Cathedral in the main square in Antigua

Fountain in Parque Central, Antigua

CAN I PLEASE JUST TAKE ONE NORMAL PICTURE OF US, TONY???

Breakfast at Cafe Condesa

Tony really wanted me to stop taking pictures of the food. I guess he was hungry...

Fountain in Cafe Condesa

Other buildings surrounding Parque Central

Now, for a few photos of the coffee plantation Finca Filadelfia. It was an amazing tour that ended with incredible coffee (in my opinion, this is how all tours should end).

Sweet Tones.

Baby, grafted coffee plants.

Sweet children that hang out on the plantation while their parents work to pick ripe coffee. They were so happy to be around us, and they really liked to ham it up for photos :).

This guy--what a sweetie!

What is this kid in the middle doing?

Special trees (can't remember their names for the life of me--some are avocado trees though!) provide the appropriate amount of shade for maturing coffee plants.

Ladies picking ripe coffee berries

Drying the coffee beans on the roof of the processing plant

One of the three volcanoes that surround Antigua. I think it might be Volcán de Agua, but it very well could be Volcán de Fuego (which we saw chugging out smoke many times throughout our trip!).

Drying coffee berries.

Coffee beans with their "berry" part removed

The current owner of the coffee plantation, and the name on all of the coffee shipped out from the plantation. It's exceptional coffee, for those of you who are interested.

Our last stop (before our tasting) was the roasting and packaging facility. I could have just lived in that room--the smell of freshly roasted coffee was absolutely divine!

That evening we attended the welcome party, where many of the guests began the weekend of celebration with a traditional dinner (roasted meat, vegetables, handmade tortillas--all so delicious!), a hot hibiscus tea drink and homemade cake.

Stay tuned for Day 2 of the trip, where Tony visited ancient Mayan ruins in Iximche, Guatemala!

Sweet animals.

2013-02-20T17:05:00.001-08:00

Eddie is the adventurous, chubby, sock-eating, and Frisbee-wuvin' cuddle bug.

Ralphie is the contemplative, nervous, eager-to-please, and slightly less chubby comforter.

Kee is the indifferent, attention-seeking (only when SHE wants it), snugglepuss.

They are family, and I am thankful for them every moment.

Pupapalooza

2013-01-04T12:41:00.000-08:00

Someone I love dearly mentioned that there was a dearth of photos of my dogs.

We're here to correct this injustice.

I'm an ISTJ (Myers-Briggs--look it up, y'all). We NEED JUSTICE.

So, without further delay: my puppers.

"GET THE FRISBEEEE!!!"

Ralph: "I love you, Momma."

*Bonk* Slight miscalculation, Eddie.

Suspicious Ed.

Sweet Ralph.

I imagine Ed making one of those old, ninja-movie noises "Wooaaa"

They see each other from afar...

Ed: "CHAARRRGGEE!"

Chomp.

Ooooh. Someone's in trouble...

"QUIT IT ED. I'm tryin' to smile for Momma!"

"What? I didn't do anything..."

Defended.

2012-12-23T08:05:00.000-08:00

Well, it's official: I've got some letters behind my name saying that I willingly dragged myself through hell and made it out alive (barely).

To me, the whole thing is becoming a blur. I'm guessing I should be grateful for this memory lapse--that I shouldn't take for granted how my body is doing me a favor by wiping the slate clean. I will say that I'm sure glad writing my thesis and defending it is over. I will never have to do that again, and I am resting in that hard fact.

My mother and father traveled from Ohio to see my public seminar, and support me during this final step. Tony's family was also planning on attending, but due to some emergency medical issues, remained in Missouri and sent their love from afar. I felt like a marathon runner whose buddies carried him the last few hundred feet. My feet were skittering on the pavement, while they gripped my waist and ran for me. I would have not made it without the direct support of my husband, family and close friends. I had my faith in God restored during these last, grueling moments as a graduate student. I believe He worked in the hearts of people I would have not expected to encourage me (people from my past, who I have not had contact with for months, and in one case, years).

There were so many tears and mini-breakdowns in the last couple of months. In retrospect, I'm actually impressed that I made it through. My favorite analogy, which is adapted from a coworker, is that I was like a balloon in a cactus patch. Any sudden or slight change in the wind would make me "pop" and question my ability to finish.

All this to say, I'm done! I have a doctorate in chemical biology. I've proven to my peers and my mentors that I'm pretty smart, and I'm capable. I'm looking forward to the next chapter of my life, and being in a different community of brilliant people. I'll certainly miss the majority of the people I worked with in my lab and my friends in the graduate program, but it's time for me to move on to something new. I feel electrified with excitement for what is to come.

I've put together a few photos from my defense, and the mini-shindig I had the day afterwards. Thank you so much to those who carried me those last few feet. You are forever my heroes.

A few photos were taken with my title slide. I wasn't profusely sweating yet...

Mom, Dad and Me!

Sweet Tones. I just love him so much.

In the thick of my presentation! This was the last photo Tony took, as he noticed the flash was bothering me :)...

My lab had a sweet celebration after my committee was done with me. I was gifted an awesome bowling shirt with "Doc" embroidered on it from one of my mentors!

Our little pavilion in Kit Carson Park was a nice (but chilly!) place to celebrate with a BBQ!

Amber made me a picaken. I made one for her defense, too! For those of you not familiar with a picaken, it's a pie baked inside of a cake. And yes, it is incredible.

Sweet friends and family--so thankful for all of them!

Glue

2012-11-05T16:48:00.000-08:00

Tony, my puppers (pictured below) and Kee (not pictured) are all helping me hold it together.

24ish days until my thesis is due. 38ish days until my defense.

Yikes.

Still Here. Kinda.

2012-10-07T15:21:00.004-07:00

I don't really have a whole lot to say, nor do I have a lot of time to say it.

We're in the home stretch now--my thesis defense will be in about two months. I'm excited, overwhelmed and anxious. There's so much to do, and it feels like there's not enough time.

Anyway, here are a few photos from my garden. I pruned my tomato plants because they were just too much for me to deal with right now. What really happened was a strange cathartic destruction of the plants involving me hacking away at them and then sitting in my front yard, sweating and crying. The next day I came back out to look at the damage (not that bad, just nicely trimmed back plants, really), and I brought my camera. No, you may not see a photo of the plants. THEY'RE FINE.

There is such an astounding amount of life outside of our air conditioned, concreted world. The outside vibrates with life, and here I am, struggling to feel alive in the depths of finishing my graduate work. The irony is not lost on me, folks.

No color modifications here. This guy is really this bright.

Strawberry leaf.

Rushing, rushing, rushing.

Eye sees you.

5 Year Anniversary Caravan Safari: Part 2

2012-08-19T08:02:00.004-07:00

Ah, the rhinos.

Huge, lumbering beasts.

They act like me before I've had my coffee...but they do so all day long. Poor things.

"Hey, what are you lookin' at?"

Big ol' horns.

"Hey! Hey guys! Wait for me!"

Lazy Asian Rhino. We were allowed to feed these guys some apples if they came up to the truck. Too bad they were too preoccupied with being lazy lame-os.

Two lazy females. Wait...is the one on the right stirring?

Nah. She's just opening her mouth to smell us better. This world is pretty weird.

There were lots of these deer pictures. I got bored scrolling through them, and I figured you would too.

A great morning spent at the Safari park!

5 Year Anniversary: Caravan Safari! Pt. 1

2012-08-05T09:19:00.004-07:00

It's hard to believe Tony and I have been married for 5 years. It seems like that number is too big and too small at the same time.

I'm blessed to have him as my husband, and I'm thankful for him everyday.

We decided to stay local for our 5 year anniversary, mostly because I'm desperately trying to finish my PhD and I can't afford to take a week off right now. Romantic, no?

So, we took a trip down the road to the San Diego safari park (about 5 miles from our house) and went on a special, 2 hour photo caravan safari. There were about a dozen of us on the truck total, so it was a nice, small group. We traveled around Africa and Asia, all while staying comfortably in Escondido :).

I took about 300 photos, and I didn't want to cram everything in one blog post (read: I got tired of editing), so here's the first part of our journey--namely feeding the giraffes!

Before the safari begins...

Oh hey! It's the ice cream truck.

"Wait up guys!"

Tony made a friend...

The giraffes really liked Tony's head. They kept sniffing and nuzzling it. I was dying laughing...

Well done, Lisa. Very photogenic.

"You guys come back soon with some more Acacia leaves, K?"

Up next...RHINOS!

Puppers

2012-07-08T21:13:00.000-07:00

I love my buddies. They bring so much joy (and energy) to our household.

Lazy buddies, watching me garden from our deck.

Golden Ed, galloping towards Momma.

Sweet, loyal Ralph, sitting by my side.

Grinning Ed.

"Hey Ed, you gonna finish that?"

"Yes, Ralph, you hog."

CHOMP.

Retaliation.

Dandelion Puffs

2012-07-02T17:01:00.001-07:00

I'm hanging on for dear life.

When you were a kid, did you ever blow on dandelion puffs? I used to get scolded for it, because then dandelions would be everywhere in a few weeks.

Now that I'm an adult, and I have to take care of my lawn, I definitely get why I was scolded.

But...

When no one is looking, sometimes I'll pick one and make a wish.

Can you guess what my most recent wish was? I'll give you a hint. It has something to do with graduate school. And having it end :).

Maintaining Radio Silence

2012-06-06T16:58:00.001-07:00

Well, it's been a while.

There are lots of reasons for my absence, but the overarching theme is this: work (i.e. graduate school) is getting in the way.

Until I graduate, I will probably not be the best at maintaining this blog (or any of the other ones, for that matter). Since most of the people who read this blog know me well outside of the internet, I'm not feeling too guilty about not updating.

Sometimes, life just gets busy.

I took pictures today for the first time in a month, and enjoyed doing so for the first time in many months. This week I'm at home writing. I've extracted myself from the environment that causes me so much grief on a daily basis, and let me tell y'all, it makes a difference.

So here are a few photos from today:

My front flowerbed is a jungle.

This picture makes me yearn for lazy days in August. Someone: make that (laziness) happen.

My ridiculous-ass tomato plants are here on the left. Sorry for the foul language--there's just no other way to describe them. They are taller than me (5'9") and show no signs of slowing their growth. Tomato jungle.

My neighbor's lovely purple tree.

Meet Smitty. He's our 1967 Ford F100. He fits in with our family better than any of our other cars, strangely enough. To me represents everything classic, hardworking and American.

Sometimes it's okay to keep just the little things in focus in order to hurdle the big things.

KeeKee

2012-03-25T16:27:00.001-07:00

I wish I could stay home and play with Kee every day. She's so curious and loving. Couldn't you just smoosh that pretty face!?!!

"Hey, you. Get that camera outta my face!"

There is one person who would probably rather go to work than hang out with Kee all day...

Her nemesis...

Tony.

A Place To Call Their Own

2012-03-11T15:31:00.002-07:00

Last weekend Tony and I spent an grueling amount of time and energy constructing a dog-shack for Ed and Ralph.

The finished product is actually kind of cool!

Down on the dog run, they have lots of shade from our neighbor's pine tree and bougainvilleas.

I hope they are happy even when we're not home. I hope they run and play and have adventures. I'm so thankful for my boys and their unconditional love and joy.

Treading Water

2012-03-04T16:51:00.001-08:00

There are weeks when I feel like I've really got a hold on things--I'm able to balance work and home, I feel connected with my friends and family, and I've got a steady personal relationship with God.

Then, in contrast, there are weeks (days, months?) that seem completely out of control. During these times I'll work 7 days a week, compulsively, frantically, in the early morning, and normally without much more progress than I would have had, had I worked a "normal" 55 h week.

Guess which type of week has consumed me for the last 3.75 years?

Exhaustion. I'm beginning to realize that I feel less than good over 80% of the time. That is just ridiculous, people. Why am I doing this to myself? Is a Ph.D. really worth it?

Maybe. I keep thinking I'll magically defend in the beginning of this December, and then the Mayans will be laughing in their temples' antechambers as the world purges itself of humanity on December 12. What good will a Ph.D. in chemical biology do when there's a zombie apocalypse? After a nuclear holocaust?

Oh, right. That's all bull honkey. Sorry, in an attempt to carve a great mind, I've managed to lose mine.

I found this awesome glasses manufacturer, Warby Parker. They send you 5 pairs to try on at home for free. I liked 3 out of the 5. Sigh. Decisions.

I also goofed around some, which was medicine for my soul. Hopefully, some of my goofiness will rub off on you...

Frame 1: A blond tortoise-shell that matched my hair color

Frame 2: Much bigger (which I thought would look better because my eyes are muy grande)

Frame 3: (My top choice), Just big enough to be eye-catching, but classic enough to last for many years.

Hey. Get back to work.

A Very Funny Story: When a beach isn't just a beach

2012-01-29T17:24:00.000-08:00

As I grow older, I seem to be less aware of the world around me. Granted, I am very focused right now (must. get. Ph.D.), so I will give myself a break. Once I am a professor (I hope I hope I hope!), I'll just write it off as normal, along with the rest of the world. This obliviousness, however, translates into some pretty funny tales to tell around the water cooler.

Here is one of my favorites that happened not too long ago...

It was a dreary day in lab. Experiments weren't working right, labmates were stressed about their own predicaments, and there was a general cloud over the day. Luckily, living in San Diego, that cloud was only metaphorical, as the sun was brightly shining and the weather forecasters were jubilantly crowing about 15-22 foot waves in the surf report.

I had my camera in my car (I try to bring it with me just in case I need a quick break from lab and want to be reminded of the beauty of the outdoors), so without any hesitation, I jumped at the opportunity to photograph some big swells and extract myself from the general grumpiness of lab.

Now, normally I have a spot where I love to photograph the ocean, but on this day I had ants in my pants to try something new. Back when I was running all the time I often ran by the Torrey Pines Gliderport, and I recalled that there was a hiking trail near there that descended the 200+ feet down the cliff from the gliderport to the ocean.

The view was breathtaking--none of my pictures will do it justice. There were a few other hikers around me, all giving me odd looks (was my fly down? mascara running? hair doing a weird cockatoo thing that it sometimes does without warning? Nope. Well, that's strange...), but I just wrote it off as them being shocked by my pale skin, as most of them were bronzed.

I found a spot, sat down, and happily snapped away. Then, I decided to change lenses for a different perspective. I hauled out my gigantic telephoto, popped it on, and decided to start to try shooting some of the wildlife and beachcombers below.

Then, I became aware.

There's really no other way of phrasing the mental onslaught of horror, extreme embarrassment and disgust that washed over me.

Allow me to back up a bit.

I was shooting away, when I saw a man on the beach, running. Now, people run on the beach all the time. Men will often show off their lean (or not-so-lean) physiques while jogging on the beach. This guy, however, was oddly all one color. Wait, WHAT? It looked like he was jogging in a skin suit.

Oh my holy word. The telephoto doesn't lie. HE WAS ONLY WEARING SKIN. He was "NEKKED"!

I suddenly became aware. Aware of my surroundings: I'm standing on the edge of a cliff. Don't freak out now. Aware of how I looked: "20-something disheveled redheaded lady with a telephoto lens overlooking....Oh no...BLACK'S BEACH!"

For those of you non-San Diegan dwellers, Black's Beach is a nude beach. Yep, they have those here in the States. Nope, curious readers, there wasn't a damn sign about it anywhere that I looked. I could have used some warning.

I scrambled, throwing my camera in my bag, turning tail and hauling butt back up the 50-odd feet I had descended down the cliff. Now folks, I do believe if I had been timed, I would have set the world record for scaling that path faster than any other mammal alive or dead. I finally made it to the top, wildly looking around me to see if anyone had watched me. The only people I saw was a startled group of Chinese tourists, taking a family photo at the top of the cliff. Here I was, sweating, bleary-eyed with fear, red-faced from my exertion and embarrassment, hair definitely doing that cockatoo thing, and they started to motion as if they were either A) going to help me (how, I don't know) or B) ask me to take their family photo. Before I made solid eye contact with any one of them, I sprinted off to my car, camera bag awkwardly bumping my butt with each pounding step, reminding me of the naked old man butt I just saw.

So to recap, beautiful view, prune butt (not a beautiful view), self awareness, scared tourists, and a renewed passion for knowing exactly where I am at all times, and whether or not that place may be near naked old guys.

Where's Waldo? Don't worry, Momma ('Cause I know you are). The image is too pixelated to even see butt crack ;).

Christmas 2011 Part II: Rural Missouri

2012-01-08T17:46:00.000-08:00

Here are some photos I took around the places we visited over the Christmas holiday. Most of them are pictures from Tony's grandma's farm, but there are a few scattered about the state of Missouri.

I've included a few quotes I've found particularly meaningful in the past few months, as any words I use to describe the pictures would only sully their beauty. Instead, I'll leave it to the professionals.

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

The Problem of Pain, C.S. Lewis

"We rejoice not in the fact that we are suffering, but in our confidence that the pain can be transformed."

Where is God When it Hurts?, Philip Yancey

"We never know in advance exactly how suffering can be transformed into a cause for celebration. But that is what we are asked to believe. Faith means believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse."

Where is God When it Hurts?, Philip Yancey

Christmas 2011 Part 1: Family

2011-12-31T14:59:00.000-08:00

We had a lovely, quiet Christmas in Missouri this year with Tony's folks. I took over 200 photos of people, places and pets while I was there, so I figured I'd milk my recent rekindled love of photography for all it is worth, in a blogging sense.

Part one of this series is called "Family" and consists of, you guessed it, pictures of people and family pets.

Tony's Mom and Dad, in some mighty fine crocheted hats.

The family pups, Shadow and LT. They're the cutest little fellas east of the Rockies.

Did you know Tony's dad is an artist in his spare time? I've gifted him several blank canvases with the selfish intention of having them on my own walls in the future.

Tony's Grandma Smith. She's such a sweet, gentle lady.

Christmas morning with Tony's dad's side of the family was a whirlwind of kids, waffles, pancakes and presents!

Grandma, in complete bewilderment of how the matriarch of the family could possibly get so many gifts! We all kept telling her she must have been a really good girl this year!

Tony playing with his sweet second-cousin!

Boop your nose!

Would you look at that sweet face!

Coming up next: Christmass 2011 Part 2: Rural Missouri