. . A Misnomer for a Title . .

Moving On!

2011-10-03T19:31:00.001+05:30

Hello! I am moving to a new blog! This one was awesome! But it was becoming too crowded (not with people but with posts)! :)

Currently, I am using www.iamanujk.blogspot.com

Thanks for following!

Anuj Kumbhat

Just Go Away Now

2011-07-06T19:02:00.000+05:30

If you want to leave..

Just go away now..

And let me be..

You don't have to wait anymore..

For me..

Just go away now..

Just let me be..

Those times when I would have to wait ..

And you'd make excuses for being so late..

Then you would coax me..

And lie that I was sweet..

Those were the good times..

Those were the best times..

But if you want to leave..

Just go away now..

Those times are gone..

There's no point in waiting so long..

Just go away now..

Baby, let me be..

You don't have to wait anymore..

For me..

You took good of care me..

You'd been an angel..

But we both knew I wasn't good enough..

You gave me chances to overcome my flaws..

Cause you're the best thing..

Cause you're amazing..

So if you want to leave..

Just go away now..

I am a waste of time..

You were never meant to be mine..

Just go away now..

And let me be..

You don't have to wait anymore..

For me..

2011-06-14T16:30:00.004+05:30

Some nice songs :)

Madeline Peyroux - La Javanaise

Coldplay - Warning Sign

Coldplay - Sparks

Travis - Turn

John Mayer - Clarity

John Mayer - Your Body is a Wonderland

Barbarossa - Stones

Ryan Cabrera - True

Keane - Try Again

Keane - Love is the End

Keane - She has No Time

Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful World!

Louis Armstrong - La Vie En Rose

Jonas Brothers - Lovebug

Jonas Brothers - Little Bit Longer

Hoobastank - The Reason

The Killers - Mr. Brightside

The Killers - All These Things That I've Done

The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony

Badly Drawn Boy - The Further I Slide

Life in a Box

2011-04-22T21:08:00.000+05:30

All my phone calls have been diverted to a phone in China. When my parents speak to my Chinese friend Lao, I hope they realize that international call rates apply.

I can make phone calls, receive messages but anyone who calls me speaks to Lao. I have a deal with Lao. He now speaks on my behalf and in exchange I occasionally help him with his presentations. I have chosen to interact with people via messages only. Although, I have an option to make calls but I'll choose not to.

In the meanwhile, I have a sister in the U.S. who has some good advice for me.

' You'll need to come out of your shell. Sooner or later, they will come after you. Maybe you can avoid their phone calls. But when they find you, you will have to look them eye to eye and you will have to talk. '

Its been 2 weeks. And I am loving the silence. I moved out of my parents' apartment. And I moved here, a rented apartment. I took everything into account. I can pay all my bills online, thanks to internet banking. My salary gets directly deposited into my bank account. My income tax is deducted at source. Anything which I want to purchase, I can order it and that includes groceries and clothes. I just have to leave my garbage in 2 unique bags (one for recyclables and the other one for non-recyclables), outside my flat and the garbage collecter is going to come and collect it. I will never ever have to leave this apartment and there's no reason for me to have a conversation.

Aaaah! This is the life! No one can nag or irritate me. I may live inside a box but I am so free! Even if I long for human interaction, I have facebook. No matter how many times I say it, its never enough: thank you, Mr. Zuckerberg.

Now, my life is so simple. I don't have a T.V. but I can watch commercial free T.V. on the internet. I hate commercials. Every commercial encourages me to purchase something new. In order to purchase anything, I need more money. And money has made my life a chase. I am ok with not knowing what I can buy. And anything that I simply cannot do without, it will become a trending topic on Twitter.

Somebody mentioned the expression, 'thats the dream' ; yes, this is it. I am living it. I have the recipe for a good life. Its only fair I celebrate this day. I reboot my life today.

' Hello? I would like to place an order for a black forest cake. Would I like anything written on it? Well, yes. Happy Birthday. To whom? No. Just Happy Birthday. How do you take payments? Cash only? How about a self cheque? No? Ok. This cake does not contain eggs, right? Great! '

Well, eventually, I will run out of liquid cash. So a trip to the bank every month is inevitable. I will have to leave this apartment in that scenario. I will have to put up a fake smile to greet people. Once in a month, its probably ok. Its a glitch in the plan though.

The last thing I want to do is ACT sociable. But if I don't, people might misunderstand me, they might think I am hiding something. I am. But if they think about me, talk about me; the attention would make me feel uncomfortable. So to go out once a month and smile to the audience doesn't seem like such a bad idea.

And life is simple now. I have nothing and no one to worry about anymore. I have created my own world and I am God in here. They were wrong, everything can be perfect. This is perfect.

La Danse Inoubliables (The Unforgettable Dance)

2011-03-05T20:56:00.001+05:30

She always said she loved to dance. I was awkward; I kept looking at my feet. But she was graceful as I knew her to be.

' You're doing fine. ' she said with a smile.

' I am doing terrible! ' I replied. I felt embarrassed.

' Don't be silly! You just need a little more practice! '

' Maybe I should have practiced a bit more before tonight. '

' Its OK. Lets learn together. ' she said. She was an angel.

We danced. A bit awkward but yet her smile would not fade and that meant everything to me.

I held her as close to myself as I could. I never wanted to let go. But as we swayed to the music, I felt a wave of desperation pass through me.

'Is all this too happening too fast?'

The earth spun on its axis and completed one rotation every 24 hours. I know when its time for the sun to set and when its time for the sun to rise again. I know when its time for my favourite sitcom.

But this is so unpredictable. I don't know if its time to take another step.

'Its just a dance.' she said.

'It is just a dance, isn't it? Thank you for dancing with me.'

It is nice to have someone like her, someone who can tell me its ok.

I have met so many amazing people in my life. No one has made me feel so uncomfortable! While I am with her, I want to be at my best. I don't want to make any wrong moves. And everytime its time for her to leave, I want to hold on to her. I don't want her to leave. I am OK with feeling uncomfortable while I am with her.

' What do you think? Do we have a chance? ' I asked feeling a little less conscious now.

' Maybe. You're going to have to pull out all the stocks to get a girl like me. ' she said and then she giggled as girls do.

' Really? You seem too much of hard work. I am known to give up easily. Maybe I should reconsider if . . Ow! '

Oh no,she didn't step on my toe, she stomped on it!

' Oops! Sorry, about that! ' she said.

She's so confident. And it shows in everything she does. Her confidence rubs off on the others around her as well. Before I present myself to a hundred thousand people, I wouldn't feel nervous if she just gave me a thumbs up.

Me, on the other hand, I am not so confident about myself. I am insecure. I know that I have no achievements. And I don't know where I am going. I want to spend some time with her before its too late.

' Do you care if I am a nobody? ' I asked her.

' I do. I wouldn't be seen anywhere near a nobody. '

' Uhh . . ' we stopped moving. I looked at her.

' But you're not a nobody. You're somebody. '

' I meant I have nothing to look back at and be proud of. And I have no plan; I don't know where I am going. '

' Thats OK. Its not about who you are, its more about how you treat me. ' she said with a wicked grin on her face.

'Oh! So its not about me. I don't matter at all! This is all about you, princess?'

' Yes. Its all about me! You don't matter! ' she said. And then we both laughed. She had the most amazing laugh. ' Just keep dancing, you idiot! ' she said.

' You treat me in a way no one else does. You make me feel special. Thats enough to me. I mean that. ' she reassured me as we continued to dance.

The moonlight flowed into our hearts and our eyes twinkled like the stars above our head. A light breeze flowed and so she held me closer. The wooden floor was smooth underneath our naked feet. And the music was soft and calming.

But then as beautiful as this night is, it will be forgotten. Maybe a faint picture of this dance will last in our memories. But everything else will be a blur.

' Will you remember this night? Will you remember this dance? ' I asked.

' I will. It has been unforgettable. '

' But then why do I feel that everything will be blurred when we look back? '

' New memories will not replace old ones but they will be fresh like flowers in the spring and so their fragrance shall be stronger in our minds. '

' What? WOW! That was very well said. ' I said completely surprised.

' Thank You! ' she said with a big smile on her face!

' Maybe we ought to write that down somewhere! '

And then we both laughed. But she was right. We can't hold on to a moment because one moment passes for another. Memories last forever and there's room for so much more.

' Lets make beautiful memories. ' I said.

' Yes, lets. ' she said.

The Enlightened Man

2011-02-19T13:44:00.000+05:30

I don't generally write jokes. And its not a very funny joke if I explain it. But I am going to do both because its not a very funny joke anyway.

This joke is titled ' The Enlightened Man '

So there's this guy and he goes into an italian restaurant for dinner. He orders the Pasta and he patiently waits for a while for the Pasta to arrive.

After tasting the Pasta he decides, he loves it! He gorges and devours the Pasta and orders a second helping as well!

All the while, he praises and applauds! Attracted by all the cheer and applause, more people come in and order the Pasta.

' Isn't this just the best? ' he asks the others.

' Yes, it is. ' some say politely.

' Its delightful! I am surprised we don't come here more often! ' say others more cheerfully.

Once he is finished with his Pasta, this fellow asks if he can personally thank the Chef! He is let into the kitchen where he greets the Chef pleasantly.

' Chef, your restaurant is amazing! The ambience here is amazing! The service here is amazing! I just love it here! '

' Thank You, Sir! ' the Chef answers with satisfaction. Out of courtesy, he asks ' How was the food, Sir? '

' It could have been better! Much better if it had any flavour! ' says the man and he leaves the scene laughing heartily!

That would be the End. Uhh . . Yes, that was the joke! Its not supposed to be HAHAHA funny! Ok, Its not funny at all. But there's quite a lot to be observed about the protoganist.

1) Though he finds the food bland and tasteless, he seems to enjoy it thoroughly! This is the way of the Enlightened, they enjoy themselves no matter how dull and tasteless life may be.

2) His cheering attracts others to the restaurant as well! And they order the Pasta too! But whats more, they all agree that they like it! Similarly, the Enlightened attract others to their own path. And on the path of the enlightened, everyone is satisfied.

3) Though he found the food bland, he praises the Chef. Praising is a divine quality. It is a virtue of the Enlightened.

4) Only when the Chef himself ask does the man let him know that the food did not taste well. And then, the criticism has been put forward in a polite and gentle yet effective manner. Positive and effective criticism is very important as it helps people work on their faults and grow. And so the man does not hold back on it but at the same time puts it forward in a way which is not offensive.

How do we react to a similar situation? We either crib or complain about the food but eat it anyway or we just push the plate away. But an Enlightened soul is happy with what he has.

We would complain to the Chef and warn others about the tasteless food and see that no one else has food at the restaurant! But an Enlightened soul would not pull someone down but uplift.

Wherever we go, if we smile and if we are happy people will be attracted towards us. And a simple smile spreads like a virus.

No matter how much wealth or luxury or fame or success; there is no higher prize than Enlightenment. And yes, I always think big and so I intend to experience Enlightenment before I turn 30. There's still quite some time in hand though.

Here, I conclude the story of The Enlightened Man.

In Motion

2011-02-04T03:40:00.001+05:30

With my eyes closed, finally there is some rest. Finally, there is no movement. There is rest.

Hours earlier, with my eyes open, I saw that everything was in motion. Nothing stood still. The cars racing on the street at full speed and the noise they brought along with them at full blast. As they passed by, the blue sky turned grey and then red. The sun set and I knew that the Earth was in motion; rotating about its axis and revolving around its Star.

But with my eyes closed, finally there is some rest. There is some stillness.

' I have one fear. ' I told her.

' What is that? ' she asked.

' Maybe, I am just too slow. Maybe everything is moving too fast for me. '

She held my hand and caressed it. She looked deep into my eyes, into my soul. She smiled.

' You're not slow. '

For a few moments, I closed my eyes to see myself outside. I could have been on a playground sliding down the slippery slide, swinging on of the swings, or spinning around on the Merry Go Round or hanging on the Jungle Gym. But wherever I saw myself, whatever I did, I was with her. I could feel her squeeze my hand and yet my dream simply grew on me.

' Are you tired? ' I heard her voice ask me. I opened my eyes to see her soft face looking right into me.

' I am not tired. I am just sleepy. I don't want you to leave. '

' I'll stay. '

' Thank You. ' I answered. It is always polite to say Thank You. I know, I used to do so many favours for my friends and they always took me for granted; they never once thanked me for all those favours.

' You don't need to Thank me. I want to be here with you. ' she said.

We looked at each other. She was always smiling. It wasn't always welcome; this smile. Sometimes I felt she thought she knew more than I do. Maybe she did know something which I didn't know.

' Do you like chocolate? ' I asked. There had been a long pause and the silence made me uncomfortable. Its so awkward when we don't say anything. Strangely, she seems completely at ease even when we do not speak. She'll smile.

' Everyone loves chocolate! ' she replied positively.

She was positive in every way. It made me uncomfortable sometimes. She wasn't being honest now and then. She loved almost everything.

' Thats not true. ' I said, ' Everyone doesn't like chocolate. My brother did not like chocolate. He hated it. He would say it would give him a bad stomach and he would say I'd lose all my teeth if I ate too much of chocolate. '

' So you don't like Chocolate? ' she asked.

' Now when did I say that? My brother did not like chocolate. I like chocolate. '

' Ok. Do you eat a lot of chocolate? '

The birds were singing a song which was flooding in through the windows. I could also listen to the sound of the traffic outside and the sound of the air conditioner. These sounds dulled the sounds of the birds. I longed to go outside and listen to the birds sing. Outside, the sound would be much clearer.

Often sound helps me calm down. Nothing angry though, only soft sound like the sound of the Piano, or the sound of the Flute. I can hear the sounds ring in my head for a while even after it has ceased. But slowly the sounds dull away in my mind. The effect of these beautiful sounds don't last forever even though I wish they did.

And as everything is in motion, one sound dulls away and makes way for another. Sometimes these sounds are unpleasant. But then they dull away too.

' What are you thinking? ' she asked softly. Her soft voice brought me back into the room.

' I am thinking that life is so inconsistent. ' I said.

' It is. Does that bother you? '

' Not so much. I know it is. And there's very little we can do about it. '

' Is that how you feel? That things are beyond your control? '

' I wish I could slow things down. Its all too fast. I am afraid everything is moving too fast. There's no stillness here. Everything is in motion. '

' That worries you? You would like some stillness? '

' I would. I would like a moment to breath. '

' Then sit with your eyes closed and you will be able to experience the stillness. Outside, everything was, is and will always be in motion. Inside, there is a vast infinite space to be experienced. ' she said.

Their imposing figures loomed above my shoulders. They didn't smile much. But they were kind and honest.

' Oh! Is it time already? ' she said looking already.

One of them nodded in agreement.

' Time for what? ' I asked.

' You were saying you feel sleepy. So maybe you should take a short nap. ' she said as positively as ever.

' I should go and take a nap. I'll go but we were talking. '

' Thats alright. We'll speak later when you aren't so sleepy. '

' We'll talk later? OK. You don't mind, do you? '

' I don't. Your friends here will escort you back. '

' Thank You. '

One of the two held my hand as I got up.

' He'll be Ok. He is much better now. Just escort him. '

' Yes, mam. ' he told her letting go of my hand.

Hours have passed now. Finally, there is some rest. There is no movement. There is rest. With my eyes closed, there is stillness. I feel much at ease now. I am better now. I'll be Ok.

Daily Liquor in Life

2010-12-16T11:08:00.000+05:30

Hi. It’s me.

The sky isn’t blue anymore. It’s dull and gray. I would blame pollution. People are inconsiderate. Why do people who can’t afford cars buy them on loan or on instalments? Everyone hates traffic and nobody likes having debt. But to have a car of their own, they overlook everything. Nobody considers pollution before buying a car. Would they even buy a car if they understood the consequences of pollution? I don’t think so.

I have to die early because of these jerks. Ma says it’s not a good idea to blame others for something for which we are equally responsible. I am not responsible. I don’t own a car. I don’t even use public transport. I walk.

“Hello, Ram.”

“Hey . . .”

“I have to meet some friends today. You are on your own.”

“Ok.”

I work for my Uncle. I like saying I work for him. He doesn’t pay me. He owns a grocery store. He likes thinking I am learning from him. He doesn’t do anything.

“Which hair oil should I buy?”

“We have many varieties here . . .”

I sometimes wonder why people bother asking. I am going to sell them the most expensive one.

“Hi, Ram.”

“Hello.”

Occasionally, Niki comes to visit me at the store. She’s irritating. But something is better than nothing.

“Did you watch any new movie?” Niki will ask. And this is precisely why she irritates me.

“I have told you before. I don’t have time to watch movies. I have to work.”

“Well, you could take a break, you know!”

“Will you watch the store while I am gone?” It’s a way of saying. I would never trust her with the store.

“If I watch the store, who will you watch the movie with?”

“With my Ma.”

“What?!”

She generally storms off leaving me in peace. But I admit, sometimes her company can be comforting. It can be lonesome sometimes. This store is located in a quiet and isolated area. And the usual customer is a moron.

I have had the same idiot come in again and again asking for cigarettes.

“We don’t sell Cigarettes”

“Well, you should.” I can beat the crap out of that guy. But he’s usually dead drunk and I pity him more than I detest him.

Some years ago this man sold ice cream. He was a jovial man. He was kind and caring and I had often seen him give away ice cream for free to poor children. Then he won the state lottery. Since then he’s been a drunken nuisance and people want to get rid of him.

“Have you got any cheese?”

“Yes.”

The man scratches his chin for a moment. And then the man walks off. I am not very surprised. I have had customers like these many times before.

“Brother! Party!” Every evening I have Karan coming over. He’s a friend.

“Hey.”

“I am so psyched about this party tonight! There’s going to be sugar, spice and everything nice! And then you and me, we’ll bring in the chemical x.”

“Great. But I can’t come. You enjoy yourself.”

There’s no party. Every evening Karan comes over to the store so that he can take me along with him to the local pub so that if he gets too drunk I can carry him home.

“What? Why can’t you come? It’s after this store closes for the night!”

“I have work at home. My Ma is all alone too.”

“Excuses Excuses Excuses! When will you stop giving these ridiculous excuses? You need to lighten up. You need to enjoy this lifetime. You only have this one lifetime.”

“It’s boring enough.”

“Yes, it’s boring enough. Because you are stuck in this store. But look at me. I have an awesome life! Because I don’t shy away from partying.”

“I am glad that’s so.”

“Oh! C’mon! Are you sure you are not coming?”

“No, thank you.”

“Ok. We’ll go tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sure.” We won’t.

All these people pretend to have an ‘awesome’ life. He’s not going to any party. He never gets invited to any party.

A car is a luxury. People think having a car affirms their social status. It materialises the growth a person has made. Today, it only creates an illusion in the minds of people that they are growing. They haven’t grown. They buy cars on loans and instalments. And somewhere down the line, they’ll be flooded with bills but they won’t have any money to pay off those bills. Sad, but true. Hours spent in a traffic jam getting irritated and whining about the state of affairs in the country only to end up in debt. And then there’s pollution. But no one cares about the pollution.

“How were sales today?”

“Usual.”

“Maybe, we need to work on our marketing.”

He won’t do anything. Every night, my uncle comes around drunk and his mind is buzzing with ideas on how we can increase sales. Next morning, when he’s sobered up, he forgets everything.
Every night I go back home to find my Ma and Pa asleep. I try not to wake them up.

Life kind of sucks the enthusiasm out of everyone. When I joined my Uncle’s store, I would be excited to see Niki. Niki’s pretty. I would want to sell something to the drunk. Maybe he’d like potato chips instead of cigarettes. I would want to party with Karan. Maybe Karan had been invited to a party and maybe my Uncle would like to look after the store for a while. I would believe in my Uncle and his ideas and I believed we’d do something new together for the store. Maybe we could expand.

I wanted to buy a car. But I guess, pollution kind of sucks the fun out of having a car. Good Night.

Separation

2010-11-29T01:24:00.006+05:30

At the end of a rough day, all I want to do is crash on my bed. I want to forget everything, open my eyes to a new morning and start afresh. Kind of like being reborn every morning.

Sadly, it’s not that easy to let go.

I have grown accustomed to your face . .

Now I believe, that light begins to fade . .

Without you, I feel so alone . .

Been a long time since I have been on my own . .

Now I just want you to know . .

It’s hard to let you go . .

Colours of the rainbow,

They seem so dull and gray . .

Everything will change . .

But I know you would stay the same . .

I still wish

You’d walk in through that door . .

Now, I just want you to know . .

It’s hard to let you go . .

“ Hey ” I said, as she neared our table.

“ Hi ” she replied.

“ You look stunning! ”

“ You look good too! ”

“ I didn’t think you’d come. ”

“ I couldn’t leave without saying Good Bye! ”

We would part. But she was taking a piece of me with her.

“ Are you done with your packing? ” I asked.

It was a dumb question. No one can ever be done with packing. It’s impossible to pack in all those memories. We have to leave some behind.

“ Yes. ” she replied.

We had a lot of memories together. I hoped she had packed in all the beautiful ones.

“ So your flight is tomorrow? ” I asked.

“ Yes. It’s a long journey. It’s going to be tiring. But I guess, it will be worth it. ”

Those long walks. The endless journey, she’d call it. But we would never tire. When you are with the one you love, an endless journey seems to be short lived.

Truth is, she never knew. I never told her that I was in love with her. I was afraid I’d lose her friendship too.

I couldn’t risk losing her.

But unfortunately, I have lost her.

I see now, that she was never mine. She was a dream. Sometimes, I felt, knowing her was like knowing a celebrity. She was and will always be an angel.

“ Tonight, we celebrate good food and great company! ” She said.

“ I am great company, eh? Nice. So what is the best thing about us being here together? ”

“ The best thing about us being here and together is . . . umm . . I don’t know. I wouldn’t
rather be anywhere else. ”

“ Neither would I. ”

“ So what would you like to have? Pizza ?? ” She asked smiling.

“ Yup. And you’ll have the same ?? ”

“ Yeah. ”

That she knew me so well wasn’t a co-incidence. That I knew her so well wasn’t one neither.

“ Do you remember the first time we came here ?? ” she asked.

“ Yeah. We met each other here. ”

One revolution around the sun, then two, then three and then two more. And years passed by. But we hadn’t changed much. The restaurant had changed its appearances though.

“ We didn’t talk much back then, did we ?? ”

“ No. No, we didn’t. ”

“ What was your first impression about me ?? ”

“ A girl who can eat Pizza as passionately as I do, you were a dream come true. ”

“ Well, I thought you were jerk. ”

“ What ?! Really ?! Why ?? ”

“ I don’t know. You looked arrogant. Like you owned the world. ”

“ But I do own it !! ”

“ Nope, you are a co-owner !! ”

I was young and I was arrogant. And I did believe the whole world was mine. I would say that I had all the time in the world. Nothing can keep me. I would say that I was the biggest idiot in a room full of idiots because I chose to walk into a room full of Idiots.

It was all about “ I, me and myself ”.

“ So how can I help you tonight ?? ” said the waiter.

“ Pizza !! ” We said together.

I still believe the whole world is mine. Only I know I’m hers.

“ You know what ?? ” she said.

“ What ?? ”

“ Leave it. I won’t tell you. ”

“ Uh . . What ?? ”

“ Ok. I’ll tell you. But you have to make a promise first.”

“ Uh. Ok. ”

“ Leave it. You believe promises are meant to be broken. ”

“ Ok, fine. Don’t tell me !! ”

“ Alright, I won’t tell you if you don’t want to know. ”

Promises are not meant to be broken. Sometimes, they are just hard to keep. A promise gives strength and courage. We become weak when we break a promise.

“ Ok. Promise me, you’ll come visit me. ” She said.

“ Of course, I will !! ”

Its a promise I’ll keep.

“ You may be leaving. But that doesn’t mean you’re never coming back here neither !! ” I said.

“ Yup, I’ll visit too. ”

“ You know, the places we’ve been and the people we’ve met, they are all memories. Sweet
memories. And some bitter ones too. But nothing is as beautiful as us. ”

“ Awww !! So true !! But you know, we’ll have more memories together. So what if we are parting today? Its not forever. ”

“ Nothing is forever. ”

“ Excepting us. ”

“ Yeah. ”

It’s not easy to let go. We want more. And then to lose the little that we have. It’s not easy.

A child will cry and bicker for a toy but his parents will buy him clothes instead. We may or
may not get what we want but we will always get what we need.

But we don’t need goodbyes. We don’t want it.

“ The Pizza here is as good as ever !! I love this !! ” she said as she bit into a slice of her Pizza.

“ I know. But in Italy, they have a lot more options for Vegetarians. ”

“ I know !! We always wanted to visit Italy, didn’t we ?? ”

“ Yeah. But I wanted to visit Italy for the food and for the people. I wonder if there’s
anything worth seeing !! ”

“ Are you kidding me !! They have the leaning tower of Pisa there !! ”

“ I don’t see the attraction in a tower which could fall over anytime !! ”

“ See, this is how it works. It’s a tower which is bowing down to you !! ”

“ That’s the lamest idea ever !! ”

But the whole world bows down to the one it loves.

Imagine a world which is celebrating as its beloved is walking away. The fireworks in the sky, the colours all around. The structures come to life and dance and sing and smile and laugh. The very Earth beneath our feet heaves in celebration. But don’t be fooled.

Just smile and be happy every moment. The whole world is working towards one smile.

“ So, what is it that you wanted to tell me? ” I asked.

“ I don’t know. Should I tell you ?? ” She asked, smiling.

“ You should !! Or I’ll reconsider keeping my promise !! ”

“ Ok. You should know . . I’ll miss you. ”

“ I knew that !! I’ll miss you too. ”

“ It’s weird. I never thought we would part ways. ”

“ Yeah. I guess it was inevitable. Somewhere down the line, life urges us to move on. Maybe, so that it can mark the end of one wonderful story and the beginning of another. ”

“ You always speak like a storyteller. ”

“ And no one listens to my stories better than you. ”

Life is a story. It’s a comedy, it’s a tragedy, it’s romance, its got a bit of everything. But every story has a beginning and an end. The progress from start to finish is life.

“ Well, Goodbye. You take care of yourself. And call me. ”

“ You too. Update me on what’s happening. ”

“ Yeah. I will. ”

“ Don’t forget, you promised you’ll visit. ”

“ Yeah. You have to visit too. This is your home. You know, home is where the heart is. I am
sure your heart will always be here. ”

“ Yeah. It always will be. Goodbye. ”

We waved to each other and moved on. Our paths were different, our destinations in opposite directions. I felt heaviness in my heart. There was something I couldn’t hold on to forever.

So I turned. And I ran to her. It felt kind of like being reborn again !!

The whining of an irritated CA student

2010-10-03T06:22:00.000+05:30

This is about A & B (the two most important people in the world).

A and B are partners. They share profits and losses equally. A and B are a lot like the couple who live right above my room, i.e., they make a lot of noise. These bastards don't maintain a double entry system of accounts. Why ?? They maintain accounts as per the single entry system because they want to die, rot and go to hell.

Terribly, on 31/03/2005 (the last day of the financial year, for my convenience) a little fire occurs at their warehouse. Do they die ?? No (but that would be a beautiful end to the story). Sadly, all the stock is lost and uninsured. Sure, they are screwed. But do I care ?? No.

And then out of nowhere, C pops into the picture for a third in the share of profits. And guess what C brings in stock equivalent to the value of stock lost (AWW !! MY HERO !!) and Rs. 15000 (WHEEEEEEE !!) worth of investments (OH . .). And they live happily ever after.

Ooops, no wait. There's more.

A, B and C decide to hire an accountant (Praise the lord !!)

2 candidates are short listed (for the sake of convenience, only 2) for a personal interview session. Though you may find unemployed losers at every turn, D and E are today's participants. D is highly qualified and has letters of recommendations from the nations highest ranked personalities (Gee . . I would have liked to be a politician and not an accountant if I were in his shoes). E on the other hand is an idiot. But E is a girl.

Here comes the tricky part. B has a private arrangement with E (eye brows raised, suspicion arises). ~~E agrees to sleep with B if she gets the job.~~ ( My tutor tells me to scratch this line. He says, this is only to confuse the students. B is awesome. But A is noble.

The interview begins :-

D comes in first.

A : Ten years earlier, I was thrice as old as B. Today, the difference in our age is of 10 years. So how old are we ??

D : (First sticks his tongue out like an idiot) Obviously, You are 25 and B is 15 ( B is just 15, WHAT ?!?!?)

A is happy. Its the right answer.

B (sympathetically) : Do you smoke ??

D (thinks) : Maybe he wants to test my honesty ?? (says) Yes sir, I do.

B (makes the sound "pcch" with his tongue) : Do you regret smoking ?? Didn't you ever try quitting ??

D accepts both.

D is asked to leave.

B to A : You can't possibly hire this guy ??

A (baffled) : Based on the answers he gave to the questions which you asked ?? Those were pretty irrelevant, you know.

B : They were perfectly relevant. Let me tell you all that I have deduced out of his answers.

(And he begins with the list)

1) He smokes. He is a man of immoral character. He might defraud.

2) He regrets smoking but he continues smoke. He is likely to repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

3) He tried to quit. But he couldn't. He is a man of weak resolve.

4) Smoking has no benefits. However, it is injurious to health. Knowingly, he is entering into a loss making venture.

A : WHAT ?!?!? You deduced all of that. Those aren't concrete deductions at all. I asked him a question on his subject and he answered quite confidently.

B (sticks his tongue out and then looks away) : Well, lets call in the next candidate.

So E enters the room and she's looking hot !! B is seen drooling. A can see she's a dumb girl (:P).

A : What is 2 + 2 ??

B : That's a little unfair. You are asking her tough questions because she's a girl. This discrimination is uncalled for.

By now, E has found the solution to 2 + 2 on her calculator.

E : 4.

B is happy : Bravo !! Bravo !! Now, that's brilliance. She may not have all the answers but she sure knows how to find the answers.

A (irritated) : WHAT NONSENSE !?!?! She's an idiot. We can't hire her.

A and B end up in a fist fight.

C intervenes.

C : I am the silver hand of justice (he plays a paladin in WORLD OF WARCRAFT).

Now, it is up to C to decide who should be the new accountant for ABC ltd. If you were C, who would you hire ?? Keep in mind, C has heard all the arguments which B has put forward and has no idea about the arrangement between B and E.

WHY IN THE WORLD ARE WE WORKING FOR THESE TYRANNICAL SATANS : A, B and C ?? THESE FOOLS ARE ALWAYS GETTING STUCK IN COMPLICATED PROBLEMS AND ULTIMATELY ASK US FOR A SOLUTION. I HOPE I NEVER MEET THESE GUYS. I'LL KILL THEM. I'LL STRANGLE THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS. I HAVE HAD IT !! I QUIT !! BAH !!

__________________________________________________

Some pathetic alphabet jokes :

A for Apple. They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. My wife is a doctor. I eat tonnes of apples every day.

B for Ball. Hehe . . Balls.

C for College. A guy jumped off the college building. Last thing they heard him say, " Whoops."

D for Doll. If only Barbie was real.

E for expensive. Just about everything I want.

________________________________________________________

Slowly the alphabets steal my brain . . D'Oh !!

Be Confident !! Say I love YOU !!

2010-09-22T16:13:00.003+05:30

Down at the side lines.

" Dude, you look a little drunk. Are you ok ?? "

" I am fine. "

" You don't look fine to me. You sure you want to go out there ?? "

" I am fine. I can handle myself. "

" They are calling out your name. Now you go out there. And make men out of those sissies . . "

" Men ?? No girls out there ?? "

" Its a boys college . . Go Go !! "

I have been up on stage hundreds of times. Never been so drunk before. Never been in front of the guys only. In my job, I come in hearing gentle applause. Just some light clapping and a very dull audience. But I walk out with cheers and applause which sounds more like an uproar !!

They are just a bunch of freaks. Every last one of them. I know better than anyone here. Whatever I say, they feel good for a while. But then they go back home, go to bed and forget that I exist. Those who do remember, don't care.

When the applause silenced, I took a moment. I took a good look at the people in the audience. A big bunch of losers.

And then I said . .

" Hello. How are you ?? "

Another moment, to see if they would boo me off stage.

" I think the Mr. Principal has introduced me already. So I'll skip the introduction. I was asked to motivate you all. All of you look motivated enough. Can I go home now ? "
The crowd remained silent. Not even one guy spoke up. Not even the annoying cooing sound they make when they get bored.

" If you let me go home, I can have some Pizza and maybe get myself a nice cold beer."

The silence was eerie.

" Ok. So you won't let me go. Fine. "

I felt these boys need something else. They are looking for something else. Something which will make them feel like a man.

" So you know what you are all looking for is a woman ?? "

Now I get a response. The boys start looking at each other. A guy winks at a friend (which is just so gay). Most smile to each other. At the side lines, I hear " What ?!?!?! "

“ You know how this works, right ?? You see what under confidence is ?? Do you see it ( I say turning to the side line ) ?? You can't tell a girl how you feel. And why ?? Cause you know what she is going to say, how she's going to react. You know for sure. You are not unsure. You just know. I used to rate women. Someone nice could be a 7 or an 8. The perfect girl would be 10. The average ones would be 5 or 6. You get the point, right ?? I wasn't into these women. Heck, these were eye candy to me. The girl I fell for was way out of my league. How did in my league ?? Deep in my heart, I had a rating for myself. I was a 10, by the way. And she was way over 10. You know for sure, that there are guys out there, guys on her list who are just about perfect. Giving yourself a low rating. Now that's not confidence. That's under confidence.

" Look around and you'll find a lot of douche bags in here. Too cocky for your own good. Too sure, know it alls. You see that perfect girl and you are so sure what she's going to tell you. You know, it won't sound nice. Your best friend is going to push you as much as he can but you won't budge an inch. Why ?? Cause you already know. You are so damn sure about it. I KNOW IT, huh ?? You don't need a guy like me to motivate you. I mean you know it all. And you aren't just confident. You are over confident. You went way past it.

" You know what confidence is ?? This. Talking to you guys and not giving a damn what about you will think about me. But knowing that some of you will rate yourself better and some of you will maybe see how stupid you sound every time you say you know. Because you don't know. I mean, you could be someone fantastic. Not you though (I said pointing to the short skinny guy with glasses on). You remind me of myself, you are a total loser. But some of you, you could do with being unsure about a few things. Be unsure, ask yourself AM I REALLY A TOTAL LOSER ?? Be unsure, tell yourself IT CAN'T BE !!

" Hey. You love a girl ?? You have to go and tell her that you love her. You can't sit around being sure of something you can't be sure of. You know, I walk out I always see losers. I had one nice quote in my arsenal. Be a loser who can put the winners to shame, be the loser who makes the losers look good. "
I turned to the side lines. He stared at me wide eyed. And with a gesture of his lips he said, " that was ridiculous. "

" HAHA !! I don't know why I took up this job. I could never tell the girl I love how I felt. I wrote a poem for her. A very short one. I would like to share it with all of you. "
I reached into my pocket. I glanced at the sidelines. He was telling me to cut it there. His hands saying NO NO NO !! His mouth wide open, his eyes wide open. He seemed more awake than ever.

" I am just kidding you all. Thank You. Thats all I want to say. Have good day, all of you. Enjoy yourselves. Bye Bye. "

I waved goodbye and walked down to the side lines.

" YOU'RE FINE !?!? YOU CAN HANDLE YOURSELF ?!?!? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT CRAP ALL ABOUT !?!?! "

" Some motivational talk. I think the boys needed it. "

" GO HOME. AND SOBER UP. "

" I am fine. "

Our Last Day Together :D

2010-08-26T03:52:00.003+05:30

' It could have been different. ' I said.

' How ?? ' she asked.

' We could have been at home. Watching Inception together. And order some Pizza. An extra large Pizza. '

' Extra Large ?? For the two of us ?? '

' If you are my girlfriend, you better have an appetite for Pizza. '

She giggled. Then asked, ' So why this surprise ?? '

' I had a dream last night. I saw that I was leaving. I was going far away. And you couldn't come with me. And when I woke up, I thought, what if today was the last day I had with you ?? '

' Where were you going ?? '

' How does it matter ?? '

And we were silent. We were lying on a soft grassy floor. Looking at the stars above us. My arms around her.

' If we live our lives, just as if we had one day to live. Maybe we'd live our life fuller. Maybe we'd live it 100 % ' she said.

I looked into her eyes. She was right. She was always right. If I had one day to live, I would choose to make that one day special for her.

' If we had one day to live . . ' I whispered.

' Do you think we'd sit at home and watch The Simpsons ?? ' she asked.

I have to admit. ' Yes. ' I said.

' What about Criminal Minds or Lost ?? '

' No. We'd only sit at home to watch the Simpsons together. '

' Well, I like Criminal Minds too. ' she said sounding offended.

' Yes, but it isn't quite as romantic as The Simpsons, is it ?? '

' You have one day to live and you'd watch The SImpsons instead of Criminal Minds . . ' she sighed.

We fell silent again. The stars were shining brighter than ever before. Why can't we have these stars all for ourselves ?? Why can't they be ours and ours alone ?? The most wonderful things in life are available for free. But sometimes I wish I could buy them for us.

' What would you want to do ?? If you had just one more day to live . . ' I asked.

All I want is to be able to fulfil her every wish.

' I would like to ride the most intense roller coaster in the world. ' she said after somewhile.

' Huh ?? Aren't you afraid of getting on roller coasters ?? '

' Yes. '

Wow !! The things people want.

' Ok. ' I said.

Roller Coaster. Our life is like a Roller Coaster ride. Up and Down, Spinning around. The fear of a crash, or maybe we'd fly out of our car but nothing goes wrong. And at the end of the ride, you want to do it again. If you are afraid, and you ride with your eyes closed then it will be over before you know it. But it if you yell and scream or maybe even sing like a fool, keep your eyes open and enjoy the ride, it would be so much more worthwhile.

' You know, no matter how intense a roller coaster ride is, it can only be 5 minutes. But you have 24 hours to live. What else would you do ?? '

' Well, its not just 5 minutes. We'd also have to wait in a queue for a pretty long time. '

' Hahaha !! ' We both laughed.

' I don't know, honestly. ' she said after a while.

Isn't it strange? Whenever you enter a shopping mall, you forget everything else. You are left totally mesmerised. There are so many things which you'd like to have. Whenever you browse through your selection of songs, you say this should be my ringtone or that should be my caller tune. The moment you walk out of that shopping mall, you hardly remember everything you wanted. You remember only that something special. And you know you can only have one ringtone or one caller tune.

There aren't so many things we'd like to have. But we go nuts when we don't get those few things which we do want, isn't it ??

' I know what . . This is what I'd like to do . . Like today . . I'd like to be with you . . Do everything you think we should do. ' she said.

And I'd like to do what she wants to do. I think we're perfect for each other. Neither of us know what to do. Its like when we were in school. We didn't want to spend too much of money, me and my friends. So we'd always go to the mall, to the food court. We had nothing to do but ogle at beautiful girls and talk. Then it got boring. The same girls and the same conversation. And none of us had any new ideas. So we stopped meeting up so frequently.

What if that happened with us ?

' What if we become a boring old couple ?? The wife sits at home taking care of the kids. And the husband spends all his time outside. '

' No. That couldn't happen to us. '

I looked into her eyes. ' What do you think we'll be like when we grow older ?? ' I had to ask.

Suddenly, her eyes began to twinkle.

' We'd make all our friends jealous cause we'd spend all our time together. We would do something special together. Like take care of orphaned kids like Angelina Jolie does. '

' WHAT ?!?!? Hahahahahaha !! '

' What's there to laugh about ?? ' she said sounding upset.

' Well, I can't imagine you being a mother to so many children. You know how it works, you have to feed them, give them baths, change the diapers . . '

' Oh no. You'd do that stuff. I would just love them and play with them. '

' Hahahahahaha !! Ohkay. You take care of me. Thats quite a difficult task in itself, you know. '

' Yeah, I know. But seriously, we'd something cool together, something big. People should remember us. They should make a movie about. They should write our story. People would read and love our story. '

' You know what . . I think some one out there is writing a story about us. And that someone knows, we are something extraordinary. '

She smiled. I smiled. And we spent the night lying on the soft grass, underneath the moonlit night, under the star- spotted sky. This is how I want to live, knowing that there's just one more day to live.

My Love Story

2010-08-24T21:16:00.004+05:30

( Firstly !! I am sorry !! I am stuck in this mediocre writing form !! Exams are on !! What to do ?? )

I think she knew I had a crush on her. It might even be that she had known since a long time. All the guys in class knew about it. Somebody might have told her or she might have overheard someone gossiping.

I had been getting those awkward vibes from her. And between friends, it can get so weird. Yesterday we were chatting casually, today we're all awkward to each other.

How does a guy know what to do and when ?

' Hey ! You want to have lunch with me at the mall ? '

' Um . . ' this um is actually the awkward I was telling you about. In normal circumstances she would say Sure. But now she says ' I don't know. '

' Uh . . You don't know ? '

' I don't know if I am free right now. '

' Not now. I actually mean tomorrow. ' I actually did mean now.

' Uh . . Not sure . . Might not be free then. '

' Oh! If you have other plans thats okay with me. ' No its not. That sucks. ' We could have lunch together some other time. '

' Um . . Okay. '

And she walked away. I felt at that moment that the lunch I had with her a week before that moment might be the last lunch I ever have with her.

' Too bad. You both would have looked together.' said a friend of mine. When I was having lunch with him.

' The awkwardness. Where did it creep in from ? '

' Yeah, the awkwardness. Today awkward. Tomorrow you would be running out of the room everytime she came in. '

' You think so ? '

' Yeah, and . . ' he would have said more but a girl entered the canteen and the moment he saw her he jumped out the window and off.

I spent the entire first year of college wondering , ' This guy is so gay. Or is he ? ' And this mystery of whether the college Professor was Gay or not was the only thing which kept bringing me back to college.

But on that particular day all I could think of was losing a friend. I didn't want to lose my friend.

I was wondering how things got so weird. Just a small infatuation couldn't hurt the whole deal. And I wanted to know who told her about it ? I could take the fire extinguisher and bang it on his or her head.

I think the teacher came up to me and said, ' Ever think of studying rather than thinking? ' but I didn't pay so much attention cause I was lost in thought.

I went back home in low spirits. I came in and my mom started yelling at me as usual. But I didn't even have the spirit to fight with her. So I took a photo frame and threw it on the floor just so that she knew that I cared about her. And I went into my room.

I lay down on my bed and I took a good look at her picture. This was what I stood to lose. When I got bored, I fell asleep.

Zzzzzzzz . .

I woke up in high spirits. Then I realized : Crap, its 4 A.M.

So for the next 2 hours I lay there on my bed. My eyes were tearful. I was in great pain.

' Why ? WHY DOES IT ONLY HAPPEN TO ME ?? WHY , GOD , WHY ?? ' I mourned aloud.

My parents woke up late.

' So you hurt your little toe ? ' asked my Mom.

' Yes. ' I wailed in pain.

She was merciless. She told me to wear slippers to college and sent me off.

Once in college, all the girls gave my slippers an admiring smile. These were expensive slippers I am talking about.

Then my best buddy came along.

' Nice slippers, man. ' he said.

' I know. ' I said.

' Lets have something at the canteen. Am hungry. '

And I said ' OK. ' I had no idea I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life.

We ordered 3 Samosa's. 10 bucks each.

I took the first bite turned to my buddy and said,' 30 bucks for this ?? This is the biggest mistake of my life. '

' I second that. We should have . . ' he would have said more but a girl entered the canteen and he was out the window and off.

I stood there staring at his 2 Samosas and I wondered, ' I can't eat these. These are horrible. '

And then she came into the picture. It was divine intervention. The moment she came in I knew the mathe.

' Hey fat chick !! You want to eat these Samosa's. My treat. '

' I am not fat !! ' she replied. Then she pounced on the plate of Samosas.

In class . .

' This guy is so gay . . '

' I know. He was hitting on another Professor. ' said the fat chick.

We kept observing our gay professor for a while.

Then something clicked. This girl had finally solved one of the greatest mysteries to my being. Maybe she what I was missing, that someone important that I was missing in life. And here was my chance.

' Fat chick. I think I love you. ' I told her.

' It could never work out between us. '

' We will make it work. '

' I can't be seen with a man who wears slippers to college. '

' These are expensive slippers. '

' I would have loved to be with you . . But . . '

' But what ? '

' My best friend is in love with you. And I cannot break her heart. '

' Who ?? TELL ME WHO ?? WHO IS IT ?? ' I yelled out loud in class.

' Take a guess. ' said the gay professor.

I looked at him. He knew ?

' Its Adam Smith , silly. The father of all Economics. '

After class I decided to walk home. Yesterday, she said she won't have lunch with me. But today she's walking home with me.

It was still awkward.

' So . . '

' So . . '

' mmm ? '

' nnn . . '

' uh . . '

' um . . '

We had never made such meaningful conversation in our life.

' So you know that fat chick ? ' I asked.

' Yeah . . '

' Do you , by any chance, know who her best friend is ? '

' I hope its me . . '

' Yeah, I know that . . I mean she's pretty cool but . . '

' No . . I know its me. Me and the fat chick have been best buddies all our lives. '

Awkward.

We decided to take an autorickshaw home.

In the autorickshaw, it hit me !! She was the best friend who was in love with me. That's why she was behaving so awkward around me. ( For the first time in history a story where the girl likes the guy too !! )

It was all too perfect. Only one thing from my dream love story remained.

I put my arms around her shoulders. I turned to her with a smile. And she smiled in return revealing all of her beautiful teeth as well. It was perfect !!

The auto driver stopped the auto. He turned around. He looked at us. We looked at him.

He reached for his pocket. Then he revealed a very high tech phone with an 8 MP camera and he said, ' Say Cheese !! '

' Cheese !! ' we both said with all the love in our hearts.

That was the day. And today is another day. We still have that picture hung on our wall. But since its not a very good quality picture we hang it in the store room wall. We have had some 20 years of beautiful married life and some 16 very handsome kids.Thus I conclude this simple love story.

The Good Bye Story

2010-08-24T21:14:00.000+05:30

Its about two characters named Shreya and Karan.

They were friends in school. Good friends. And like most of school boy characters , Karan had a crush on Shreya. But nothing materialized.

Then 8 years later, Karan met Shreya at a cafe by coincidence. They spoke of old times and how life has changed. Shreya revealed that she had just broken up with her ex boyfriend. Karan had been single since college. They had a great time together.

Then they met each other at the mall. They had a good time shopping. Karan was enjoying the company and Shreya was enjoying the shopping.

Then they decided to have dinner together at Shreya's place. She lived alone since her parents had moved back to her native city. They ate and joked and had fun. Karan discovered the music system at Shreya's place. He turned on the radio station and beautiful romantic song by Maroon 5 was playing. He asked her dance with him. Slow dancing and great music. Somewhere down the line they started feeling closer to each other. Karan moved forward to give her a kiss. But she backed. And then the melodrama followed where she revealed that she was still into her ex boyfriend. He consoled her. And then he went off.

To break the awkwardness, Shreya invited him to have lunch with them. And he agreed. They tried to avoid the topic but she couldn't help but explain why she missed her ex boyfriend. And they ended up talking about the ex boyfriend. Again he was left consoling her.

They spoke to each other on the phone and on the internet in the scenes which followed. They met each other once or twice for coffee and parties.

Then one day, Karan revealed he was leaving. He was moving to America. They decided to meet one last time. They met at a club.

At the club, they spoke little with each other. They were sad. They ate silently, just glancing at each other. Then a guy came up to Karan and revealed that Karan was part of the band in his college days. So he invited Karan to sing a song on the club stage. Karan was reluctant. He said he wasn't prepared with anything. But the guy insisted. And then so did Shreya. Looking at her Karan remembered something. And then he agreed.

He went up on stage and took a piece of paper out of his pocket and decided to sing a song he had written just recently.

He kept looking at the piece of paper. Then he went impromptu on the last paragraph which actually came out of him naturally. And he sand out what he really wanted to say.

He took a guitar and this is the song he sang.

" Not worth a rupee . .

So don't you baby . .

Shed another tear . .

Not worth the crying, or maybe . . .

Am just a jealous guy . . .

You tell me of another man . .

Some jerk who broke your heart . .

And inside of me a voice said " take a chance " . . .

That little voice in me . . . It doesn't understand . .

You're not the joy I am looking for . . .

You're just a girl who has lost hope . . .

Maybe I could be some support . . .

But baby I don't know if I could keep my heart in control . . .

Not worth the mention . .

So don't you mention him again . .

But you won't listen . .

Not worth the crying . .

But you'd still think of him . .

I hate this other man the most . . .

He must be jerking off in some alley with a fucking whore . . .

And my heart can't help but bounce . . .

But you're not the Love I should have found . . .

You're not the energy I was looking for . .

But just a girl who was lost, wet and cold . . .

Maybe I could be some support . . .

But baby I don't know if I could keep my heart in control . . . .

Now you've found your smile again . .

And you found your way once more . . .

Now those tears have stopped flowing . .

So now I should go . .

Cause I am needed no more . .

( UPTIL THIS PART OF THE POEM WAS PRE WRITTEN , FROM HERE ITS ALL SPONTANEOUS )

Stop me if you see me go . .

Cause I need to know that my love was real . .

I could have been some support . .

But I was in love , and I couldn't keep my heart in control . . .

So please don't let me go . . . "

The end of the song. Shreya didn't understand the meaning of the song. And they both parted.

Random Poetry

2010-08-24T21:09:00.000+05:30

You Don't need to Tell me Why !!

You don't need to tell me why . .

You pulled me up when I was down . .

You held my hand when I was all alone . .

You gave me a hug and held me tight . .

You don't need to tell me why . .

Just be with me . .

Be here with me forever . .

We should be together . .

You don't need to tell me why . .

You fed me with your hand when I was hungry . .

You knew when I was in need of love . .

And you were there to see me smile . .

You don't need to tell me why . .

Just be with me . .

Be here with me forever . .

We should be together . .

You don't need to tell me why . .

The chaos seems to fade when you come close . .

The conflicts of my mind get resolved . .

Everything is ok when you arrive . .

You don't need to tell me why . .

Just be with me . .

Be with me forever . .

We should be together . .

Lets Do Everything You Want Us To Do !!

Not quite the most dynamic, am I ??

But you take me with a smile . .

And I can only wonder why ??

Not quite the most interesting guy . .

But you're okay with it . .

You say its fine . .

Did you notice, we stay at home all the time ??

And I force you to come bowling with me . .

And you always give in . .

Cause you're just too sweet . .

I feel so stupid . .

When I think about it . .

We haven't been doing anything new . .

Lets go out and do something different . .

Lets do everything you want us to do . .

Not so extraordinary, am I ??

But I know, you will always be mine . .

And there isn't the slightest doubt in my mind . .

You take me just the way I am . .

That’s cause you're awesome . .

Like flowers in full blossom . .

Did you notice we eat the same food everyday ??

And I force you to eat the food which I make . .

But you always give in . .

Cause you are just too great . .

I feel like an idiot . .

When I think about it . .

We haven't been doing anything new . .

Lets go out and do something different . .

Lets do everything you want us to do . .

Broken Toys !!

I wasn't sure before . .

Cause I didn't ever know . .

I never had the chance . .

To sit down and think of you . .

They say that things you miss the most are things you lose . .

And now I know thats true . .

Now I am waiting for you at home . .

And believe me , should I have ever known . .

I would have never let you go . .

Those broken toys in the top shelf . .

They won't mend themselves . .

I didn't know before . .

Cause I thought I knew more . .

Now that I know that I was wrong . .

I can't go back and fix things . .

But you know I would . .

If I could . .

I am waiting here at home . .

And I'm feeling so alone . .

Had I known, I would have never let you go . .

Those broken toys in the top shelf . .

They won't mend themselves . .

We can mend them together . .

And we'll make everything better . .

Secrets Unfold !!

Going by the look of things . .

Something has to be done . .

Before its too late . .

If I don't tell you soon . .

If we don't do something quick . .

We'd both be at home, blaming our fate . .

Why is it a rule ?

For a boy to become a man ?

He has to make the first move . .

Why can't it be so ?

That nothing has to be told . .

And yet the secrets unfold . .

We can't be just friends forever . .

I try to pick the right flowers . .

But I don't know what you'd like . .

Chocolates are only good for Valentines . .

A picture of us together in a frame . .

Or should a simple confession be made . .

But I can't tell what would make you smile .

It just can't get any harder than this . .

To pick the right words .

And choose the perfect gift . .

Why is it so ?

That something has to be told . .

So that the secrets unfold . .

We can't be just friends forever . .

Songs for Selena Marie Gomez

2010-08-24T20:54:00.000+05:30

This song is dedicated to Selena Marie Gomez ( born on the 22nd of July, 1992 ).

So now we're in a place of our own . .

A place we call home . .

A place where only you and me . .

Are meant to be . .

An hour its been and two and more . .

But the smile just won't let go . .

So special a day . .

There's never been a day like this one before . .

Happy B'day, Selena !!

Today, you turn 18 . . Its a whole new chapter . .

Soon enough . . You and me . . We'll be together . .

We'll hold hands and lie underneath the starry sky . .

We'll dive deep into our dreams . .

And we'll flow in the into each other's eyes . .

Pretty eyes . . The whole world in them and more . .

And the whole world has come together to celebrate . .

So special a day . .

There's never been a day like this one before . .

Happy B'day, Selena !!

This song is dedicated to everything which Selena loves. Her name, by the way, means the Moon.

Here's to you . . .

And to the moon . . .

And to the love that is waiting to be found . . .

Here's to you . . .

And to the shine . . .

And to the blossom which is all around . . .

Here's to you . . .

People call me a fool . . .

People laugh at me these days . . .

But they don't know . . .

True love Waits . . .

Thinking of you all the time . . .

Listening to your songs always . . .

Switching the wallpapers on my phone . . .

Is just another excuse to look at your face . . .

Here's to you . .

And to Everything good . . .

And to a love that is waiting to be found . . .

Here's to you . .

And to your smile . .

And to the blossom which is all around . .

People say I am stupid . .

Tell me I should keep my head beneath the clouds . . .

But they don't know . . .

That I dream out loud . . .

A plate of chocolate chip cookies . . .

And some rock n roll on play . . .

You could dance with me . . .

Together we could have our way . . .

Here's to you . .

And to your converse shoes . .

And to a love that is waiting to be found . . .

Here's to you . . .

My dear Selena . . .

And to the blossom which is all around . . .

A Wedding Invitation

2010-08-24T15:50:00.000+05:30

Hey,

So how are you doing? I am sure you got the invitation to my sisters wedding. You know, you just have to come !!

It will be great to see you after such a long time. Hope you have been taking care of yourself !!

I think its time I should get married too. You can't believe me, right ? But honestly, I have found someone special.

I am thinking of going over to meet her family and telling them. We have been in love for quite some time and we have kept it a secret from our families so far. Because its a secret, we have maintained some distance from each other. But love can't tolerate distance, can it ??

I guess, I would like it if your best wishes were with me.

My mother has been worried about me for a while, ' What are you thinking about ?? '

But there's been quite a lot on my mind. There is this longing to be with her. But as you know, I am not completely financially independent yet. The house still runs on my father's income. This is what concerns me. I get the feeling her family may not accept me until I am well established.

My parents didn't consider boys who weren't qualified enough and didn't have a fat enough salary for my sister. Though I don't feel a person's salary or his educational qualification determine that how qualified a groom he is. But its a natural concern parents have. Though my sister would have my full support if she chose to marry someone who wasn't very highly qualified, provided I felt the someone had noble intentions.

It brings my mind to this wedding. So many people are going completely nuts over it !! There's excitement at home most of the time. These long lost relatives keep coming in one after the other and sometimes in groups to congratulate my sister and my family. Some activity or the other is always happening. The kitchen is always off limits. The decorator are always around.

I see being the brother of the Bride has certain perks and advantages but there's a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. Despite so much being on my mind, I have to be at my best with people. I never have any time. ' Go get these ' or ' Go and give these to ' or ' Go hire the ' . . Something or the other keeps coming up. Somedays, I don't even have sufficient time to think.

I feel alone. And knowing that my sister is going to leave me as well makes me feel lonelier still. My sister and I share a special bond, as you do with your sister. My sister never said No for anything and I couldn't ever say No to her as well. She'd stand up for me when I would need her and I'd stand up for her when she would need me. Even if it meant arguing with our parents. She would know when I was feeling low and she knew how to make me feel better.

But her wedding day is coming. And we don't get to spend enough time together.

I have found someone special now. My desire to be with her is the reason why I can't be happy anymore. I can't eat. I can't sleep.

And though my sister is getting married, I have to fake a smile.

By holding on to my desire and not doing anything about it, I have killed my own happiness. I cannot be happy as long as I desire . . And when I am happy, I would not desire anything . . So I must do something now.

After my sisters wedding, I am going to meet her parents.

I hope you would support me when I ask for your sister's hand in marraige.

Your Friend

A father wrote to me :)

2010-08-21T01:00:00.005+05:30

Another anonymous letter. Now I wait eagerly for these.

My dear friend,

I have some upsetting news. My son is not keeping well. His late mother would want me to by his side. Let me put it this way, she wouldn't want me to leave him alone, even for a second. I wouldn't

dare.

Today, was different. I was reading him a book. Oliver Twist. What else do I read to young boys of his age? He fell asleep half way. Not particularly to his interest, I assumed.

My son is very ill. The doctor doesn't seem so optimistic. Apparently, he has contracted some new disease which isn't so easy to recover from. I haven't been able to recover from the shock yet, I

must admit. Its so hard to believe.

Just yesterday, he was so full of joy !! He was so bright and cheerful !! Who would have thought ??

Yesterday, we spent some quality father-son time. A simple idea can do wonders, eh? My son has these wonderful ideas. He is so very creative !!

He began toying with the idea of becoming an actor. He spent the entire day, imitating the famous actors. And you would think thats too much for a little boy who isn't physically 100 %. But that

isn't so, he spent a substantial time reliving our favourite moments. He's just 14. And he's so lively.

When I was as old as him, I never had time. I was a good student, no doubt. But I was always busy with some study or some sport or some activity. It always meant serious business. I am glad my son

isn't an absolute fool.

I am not doing so well myself. I spend most of the time at the doctors. And they keep prescribing new medicine to me.

I am getting older and I am not as active as I used to be.

My doctor is a funny man. He says, ' You know, all your life you were careless with your health. No, you destroyed it. And why ?? To make a bit of fortune, eh ?? Well, look at what you are doing

now. You are spending a fortune on your health. What a waste !! '

I saw the wisdom in what he said. But then I thought. Look at my son. He is much more jovial than I was, thats for sure. He is treat to be with. And he spends most of his time at home. So why isn't

he physically 100 % ??

And then it strikes me. There are so many reasons.

They are so young and tender. And they contract diseases much more easily at this age. The environment isn't the same as it used to be as well. There's noise pollution and air pollution. Our water

supply isn't clean. The food we eat isn't as nutrious as it used to be. Then there's that fear of the competition out there. Their minds are over stimulated by T.V. and the Internet. Naturally,

they are more prone to diseases both mental and physical.

And as a member of the society, I can say, we're neither taking any strong action nor are we setting a very good example.

I have to take care of my son. The wife would take good care of the both of us as long as she was with us. Now I am responsible. But I have taken responsibility for more than just my son. I want to

make sure that children as old as my son don't suffer as he does.

Consider Oliver Twist. Then consider the plight of those poor children who are much worse off. And then I question myself, what can I do?

I am going to visit a free hospital tomorrow and make a small donation there. And I say the more the merrier. So I am taking my friends along with me. In the meanwhile, my sister will be coming

over to take care of my son. I'd appreciate it if you came as well. I am not pushing you to make a donation.

But it would be lovely if you came.

Well, my son's woken up. I have to be by his side. My wife would want me to be by his side. She'd hate it if I left him alone. I wouldn't dare.

The address and other details about our trip to the hospital is provided in the mail attachment. I hope to see you tomorrow.

Good Bye.

This was more like an invitation. But hospitals and marriages are two places where I feel excessively uncomfortable. Anyways, this mail was meant for someone else. Probably.

I hope his son regains his health.

The Knowledge which I have Gained

2010-07-13T12:34:00.001+05:30

Life has been throwing challenges at me. And only by facing these challenges can someone grow as a person. And so I am truly very fortunate that after 2-3 years of hibernating at home, I am finally getting to learn something.

THIS IS NOTHING

Last week when we were returning from Bangalore, we experienced how it is to journey back home without a ticket and sufficient money in hand !! There were no arrangements for food as well. But I am at home today, and I am safe and sound. One piece of knowledge which my teachers have been sharing with me from day 1 : KNOW THAT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US IS BEING TAKEN CARE OF. This one piece of knowledge is relevant in every situation.

If we observe the positive in any experience, nothing can take our smile away. Not only did we enjoy our journey back home, we learnt some valuable lessons as well. I know how to handle such a situation if it arises again and I know that I need to take certain precautions beforehand so that such a situation does not arise again. I know that there are a lot of cool games we can play when we get bored and we will enjoy any game no matter how lame it is if we be enthusiastic and play. And we shouldn't repeat the same game over and over again. If we overdo something then it is natural, we will lose enthusiasm. And of course I am definitely not a good pictionary player. I definitely need to improve my communication skills.

But there was one lesson which I just couldn't miss. In one of his super cool knowledge sheets Guru Ji (His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Ji) has said that after every experience you are left saying, ' This is nothing. ' And truly, should you put me in that same position once again, you will hear me saying, ' This is nothing. '

When I came back from Bangalore, my intention was to work as a volunteer and go all out after it. I came back with all these beautiful ideas on what we can do to improve the city's health.

When I came back I told everyone that I am always available for the next 6 months. I told everyone : just tell me what is to be done and I will do it. My sole attention is on organising courses and there is nothing else I have to do. This I let everyone know, even my parents.

My parents paid particular attention to this statement and they want me to concentrate on my studies.

CAREER HOPPING

I realised something very important today. When I was in the 8th grade, I was very inspired by Indian Idol. I wanted to become a singer and an actor like Kishore Kumar. So I sung away to glory till the 11th grade when someone told me : you are a horrible singer, you croak like a frog but you are a good writer. So then disappointed, I moved to writing.

Now I wanted to become a writer. I struggled for 6-8 months to get a readership for my weblog. And when I had just made $6 at the end of the term, I decided there was no money in writing so I couldn't take it up as a profession.

At that time there were these various law school students coming to school to promote law as a field of study, and I was in awe of how cool and rewarding the job of a lawyer was. So now I hopped to law.

But my parents were totally unsupportive of the idea. Lot of battles took place between my parents and me but I ultimately lost the war.

School got over and I was still hell bent on doing something unique with my life, something no one else is doing. So I thought I want to study MBA. So from law I hopped to MBA. There was a lot of money in this field of study as well though it wasn't such a unique choice.

But my father has always wanted me to study Chartered Accountancy. And my view of CA since an early age has been such that I believed, ' that the profession of a CA is a hell hole. No CA is ever recognised. And nobody, not even a CA knows who the auditor and comptroller general of India is.'

So my dad, he played an ace. He took me along with him on one of his bank audits. Now, audits are fun. Especially bank audits, where CA's are pampered by the Bank Managers and the CA has absolute control of the situation. This lovely experience led to another hop : now from MBA to CA.

I sat for my CA entrance. I did OK. Got through. Now, CA intermediate is 108 times tougher than any other professional exam. So I didn't do so well.

So now there was doubt. Why am I studying to become a CA? With much lesser effort I could earn a lot more money by going for an MBA. I am passionate about writing so why should I go for something I am not passionate about?

So here, all the hopping stopped. But here, I was stuck with ' I don't know what to do. I just don't want to do CA. ' Decidedly, my teachers and my friends want the best for me. So they encouraged me to go for that MBA. But I would say : my parents won't let me. And then reminded me ' you are a good writer '. But I said : my parents won't support me.

At home my parents would tell me to study and I wouldn't and I would tell them ' CA is a hell hole. You pushed me into it. I don't want to do CA. ' Finally, today, irritated my dad says, ' if you don't want to do CA, then what ? ' and I say that I would prefer going for an MBA.

' So then why didn't you go and take admission in some institution which will gear you up for the entrance exam ? ' he asked.

A little taken aback, I asked, ' would you have sponsored it ? '

' Of course. ' he said sounding totally dumbfounded. ' Did you think I wouldn't have ? '

I was left with my mouth open and my eyes wide open. So now I can go for that MBA. But now suddenly I lost all interest in it. I didn't want CA. I don't want MBA anymore. So then what do I want ?? Its not ' I don't know what to do. ' There's nothing which I want to do !!

Here I was reminded of something the master had said during my advance course. A guy asked him, ' Guru Ji, please choose a career for me. ' and the master replied, ' You can do anything you want to. You can become an engineer, doctor, or lawyer, or entrepreneur, or CA. It doesn't matter as long as you are making good money. Anyway you would get bored of whatever you do. So choice is yours, blessings are mine. '

Here I realised what I was doing. I was avoiding CA because I can't handle the pressure which is increasing everyday. Its not so that a CA's job isn't fun. One of my fellow volunteers is an articled apprentice. I think he loves doing his job. I always say I am a creative writer. I can't go for writing as a career because I have pathetic G.K. and I never research before I write. The most important reason should be this : I think writers are pseudo intellectuals who write non sense without a clue of what they are writing. They sit at home all day long, have no experiences of their own and talk about everything. I really do believe that its the scientists, and the lawyers, and the politicians who are really intelligent.

I have been running away from taking a stand. I became a part of the most amazing organisation there is after I heard an introductory session at my CA tuition's. I wouldn't have been here if I hadn't chosen to do CA in the first place. And I can't be successful in anything if I don't put in time and effort. CA may require a lot more time and a lot more effort, but the kind of knowledge which I can gain here, I can gain no where else. So even though people may come and slap me for just playing around, wasting their time and mine but I should become a CA ( and of course later on I will go for that MBA as well ).

Now, I knew what I am going to do in life.

TEAMWORK AND SERVICE

But now could I say ' I have nothing to do for the next six months and I am always available ' ?? I got an answer to that as well.

We organised an AnR. All the while I busy allocating ' you do this and you do that ' and saying ' I will take care of everything '

But at the end of the week when nothing was materialising I thought, ' nobody is as committed to this as me. ' And I complained about my partners and I fought with them and I literally decided I don't need them I will do everything on my own. So much so that I backed out of playing games with them as well !!

And when it happened, it was I who had done the least and them who had done the most. They got the venue, they got the people their, they got the music and mike system arranged for. All I did was take tension. And so I felt truly grateful. I saw then that I am a piece of the best team one can put together.

I spoke to them with an intention to apologise. Needless to say they all rejected my apology stating it as unnecessary !! But when I sat down to listen to them patiently they explained to me what I had been doing. I would tell them to do this and do that but I wouldn't let them do anything. I made them feel as if I was solely responsible and so they lost interest. They would ask me ' has this been taken care of ?? ' and I would say ' Yes. ' I would say so without having any idea myself !! So I totally broke out of the group and then I was complaining, the group isn't committed !!

When my team mate mentioned all of this, I wondered why I acted that way ? I thought maybe its because I am totally free for the next six months so my focus is on one thing. And so my expectations from my teammates had gone 10 folds. And as they expectations reduce joy. They have more to do than I do and so they cannot dedicate as much time as I can.

Here, once again I got a slap across the face. One of my teammates made me see that I did have other things to do but I wasn't doing them. I had to study for my CA but I wasn't and I have other things to do as well.

She was right. Why wasn't I doing anything else ?? And then I see what the mind does. THERE IS SOMETHING WHICH I HAVE TO DO ON MY OWN, BUT THEN I DON'T WANT TO DO IT AND THERE IS SOMETHING WHICH I CAN'T DO ALONE, WHICH ONLY A TEAM CAN DO, BUT I WANT TO DO IT ALONE.

Its like those guys who ought to do meditation on their own at home but they don't do it but when you invite them for group meditation they feel, ' I can just do it at home on my own. '

But why did I do it ? Why did my attention shift completely to one thing and one thing alone ? Only when I went deep inside and looked for an answer did I see it. Its doesn't feel good to accept it but the truth is that here I have been getting more attention, more care and more praise. And so my attention hungry spirit went into overdrive. I wanted to do everything on my own, wanted more attention from both my teammates and my teachers.

The focus shifted from selfless service, from the master to greed for praise and attention. And so things did not work out as well as they could have. Knowing this now, has brought my focus back to the master. Knowing this now makes me see that I do have a lot to do and that I am not always available !! And it is because of my teammates and the master that I see it.

FAITH ON THE MASTER

In one of his knowledge sheets, the master says ' The only thing you must do is know how fortunate you are. ' On my trip to Bangalore, twice I had an opportunity to interact with the master but both times I was ignored. But as I look back at all these experiences, to all that I have gained through them, I see how his attention is completely focused on me. Who other than the master could be throwing these challenges at me ?? A while ago I was at home doing nothing. But since the presence of the master has entered my life, I have been learning something new every day. Am I not the most fortunate ?? To have complete undivided attention from my master, to have the best team in the world, to have best teachers in the world, to have the most wonderful family in the world. Lets not forget friends who listen to me.

The master says if you run after fun, you will be miserable but if you run after knowledge then, fun will chase you.The master says find comfort in conflict. Even through these weeks of mental turmoil and physical toil, as I observe all that I have gained, I am left amazed. I can smile through the worst knowing, this is for the best.

Keep throwing these challenges at me so that I may continue to grow and so that our team grows together. Let us all come together and grow together. Let us grow strong together.

Awakening to A New Reality :)

2010-07-11T22:40:00.009+05:30

Today, I experienced the much talked about session known as an " Awakening to a New Reality ".

Since I had never been to one, I didn't know how to explain what this session is all about to anyone. And everybody would like to know: What is it all about? At this I would show them my left hand and tell them, " This is your perception of reality " and then showing them my right hand I would say, " This is reality. " Nobody bought this. And I was stranded with a hundred passes to an event which was scheduled to take place in the evening.

I was perplexed, to say the least. " What should I do now, What should I do now " I kept wondering. It turns out I had to do nothing. Sitting with my eyes closed for 25 minutes did the trick. An hour before the event, I called up my friends and I said, " There is a party happening."

And at the exact time scheduled, my punctual partyholic pals showed up !! So people care a wee bit more about partying than " Awakening to a New Reality. "

They carried resent on their faces as they walked into the hall. But they walked out with a bright cheerful smile !! It truly was amazing. Just a glimpse into what the YES+ course is all about but there could be no better way to spread awareness about what people are missing out on. Am possibly the most satisfied visitor myself; though it shouldn't be the case !!

There was an observation I made about myself. Let me share it with you all : There was a bowl of chocolates on the table. And these chocolates were reward for being participative, for being enthusiastic and smart. But there was this one toffee lying on the floor. My sight was fixed on this one toffee. There was a whole bowl full of chocolates lying on the table but my attention was on that one small toffee lying on the floor.

Our rocking, smashing, beautiful speaker moved about a bit. All eyes were fixed on her beautiful face but my eyes were fixed on her golden slippers. I could do nothing, but I silently hoped she wouldn't step on that one toffee lying on the floor.

And when it all got over, when we were all done laughing till our tummy hurt, I just left. I didn't do anything about that one toffee lying on the floor. I knew it was still there. I was still concerned about it. As you can see, I still am otherwise I wouldn't be writing so extensively about it. But I didn't do anything and I don't know why.

At this moment I am sure something is to be learnt from this observation : about the way the mind works, about the way we are. Due to my lack of clarity, I cannot clearly say what I have realized. But it truly is amazing how our mind works.

On the success of the AnR, let me just say " I am the happiest man alive today ". This morning, I was totally disheartened and I felt I was channelizing my efforts into a totally unproductive and yet monstrous task. The experience has definitely strengthened my faith on my team. I am grateful to have my teammates. It has strengthened my faith on my own initiative. I am sure I have the best teacher in the world ( No DOUBTS about it ) !! And I see once again, the master made it happen just the way it should have happened. Now my intention is to have one AnR every month. And with a bigger crowd for sure. And I know exactly how to invite people, " ITS AWESOME !! " :)

The Leap _ Making a Choice

2010-07-11T14:22:00.002+05:30

So now what? Toss a coin. Heads, do it. Tails, screw it. Here I am, on the edge. Parachute ready, ready to jump. ' Heads. ' he yells. I fly.

To be honest, now that I know people better : I think everyone is loony tunes. No, no. They aren't bad people. They're just loony tunes.

People who can't control their laughter. People who can't control their tears. People who'd say anything and then warn you, ' that's a little too much. ' People who seem wise one moment and a clown another moment.

I haven't been with people like these before. The people I have dealt with all my life were simple in one sense and complicated in another. They would have those little moments where a sudden outburst of emotion would reveal some bits of their true nature. And that's when you'd look at them and wonder ' do I know who these people are? '

And then you meet these people. These loony tunes. You can't doubt them. They live in the moment and every moment they are who they are.

And here is where you question your very nature. Am I who I thought I am or am I someone else? Someone like these guys?

Maybe I am and maybe I am not. And the answer to this question is in the present moment.

Maybe the grass isn't greener on the other side. Maybe the grass is better on this side. The only way we can find out is by going to the other side. And nobody ever said we can't come back.

So now what? Toss a coin. Heads, do it. Tails, screw it. Here I am, on the edge. Parachute ready, ready to jump. ' Heads. ' he yells. I fly.

The ultimate decision you take is always made in a split second and is as random as the result of the flip of a coin. You can choose to be who you are or be someone else. Its just a matter of a split second, a matter of the present moment. :) :)

Sharing with you one of those rare fortune cookies you stumble upon !!

2010-07-07T23:35:00.000+05:30

Wow !! Where reason and season become meaningless : there it is !! Joy !! Honestly, WOW !! We look for a reason to be happy. We don't need one !! What we have is sufficient . . obviously there is no harm in having more.

You know, Heath Ledger's legendary " Joker " described himself as follows " I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. " HA HA !! The Joker is so common !! Most of us are like the Joker !! And I was a Joker !! We are all chasing achievements and success and money and all the stuff that we chase. But when we get it we want something else.

Only when we realize that our spirit is Joy itself and we accept happiness as a way of life, only then can we feel happy.

Obviously, this spirit has certain side effects.

I was in a train the other day and a fellow who quite bald was standing in front of me. His bald head immediately led me to a poetic mood. " WOW !! What a beautiful, clean scalp. Its as shiny as a mirror. His wife can do her make up on the go !! Wow !! "

A really fantastic experience made me see how I was wasting my life !! And that experience was YES+. The Youth Empowerment Seminar (for adults only !!).

You must check out this video. And YES !! The people going crazy are not actors. I didn't believe it myself. But then you should have seen me after my YES+ !!

Do YES+ or not !! You ought to be happy now !! Keep Smiling !!

The Little Things Which Matter

2010-06-05T22:18:00.001+05:30

After a rough patch in our lives we always seem to appreciate the little things in life a little more.

Like your best friends little baby girl. She was always there. You always thought she was cute. But only after those hot tiring days, when you come home and she comes crawling to your feet, do you fall in love with her.

I was looking for a new room and a new job. For the moment, I was living with my best friend, Prachi. I quit my last job and I got booted out of my old room.

I know, you have lots of questions on your mind.

Why didn't I move in with my parents? Truth is I had an ugly fallout with my parents some 2 years ago following which they broke all ties with me. I could do no better than reciprocate the feeling.

Why did I move in with Prachi and what about her husband? Prachi and I had been best friends since Junior School. I am more comfortable with her than any other person. Her husband ran away with the maid leaving Prachi with her 8 month old daughter. She was having a rough time juggling jobs as a fashion designer and a mother. I came in as a helping hand as well.

Why did I quit my job and why did I get thrown out of my old room? Let’s just say . . Time can get rough on you . .

Friends, never make these 3 mistakes at your local Ice Cream place.

1) If there is a hot girl sitting near you do not buy green ice cream unless she has something in purple.

2) If you decide to take a picture of this hot girl so that you can take it for guys show n tell make sure you keep the flash off.

3) If a hot girl wants you to give her a missed call you do not say, ' I don't have any balance, right now. '

And there's a fourth rule. But you all know what it is. Its this. If a girl is sitting all alone in the Ice Cream place and she gives you clues that she's all alone, go and talk to her.

What are the clues? Let me tell you what I observed.

1) She has already ordered Ice Cream.

2) She is talking on the phone. Loud enough for you to hear. Eaves dropping is a bad idea but if you overhear a few things by no fault of yours, it’s okay. Don't miss the part where she says she's all alone at the Ice Cream place.

3) You smile. She's smiles.

Of course, you don't want to end up wondering.

1) Is she single?

2) Is it weird if I go and talk to a girl here?

3) God, what is a girl like her doing at an Ice Cream place all alone ?

4) Should I go and talk to her?

5) What if she is waiting for someone?

6) Could it be that she works for the ISI?

7) Is she a Ninja?

By the time, you reach an answer its too late. She's already gone. Your green ice cream looks like a dirty green lake, and those chocolate chips look like rocks at the bottom of the lake.

You want to take the clues and go for it.

The reasons why I am telling you all of this is because on the same night I lost my job and I lost my room, I made all of these mistakes.

I was miserable. It wasn't a new feeling. Lost my job, lost my room, lost an opportunity. I felt like a total loser. Just like I felt in high school. I was tired.

There was nowhere to go. I did consider my parents'. But then I trashed the idea. I couldn't go back home a loser.

' Hey, I'm back.’ I said when I got back to Prachi's.

' Hey, where'd you go ? '

' To the Ice Cream place. It was hot day so I figured why not go for an Ice Cream. '

' You went and had Ice Cream all alone. That’s so selfish of you. Why didn't you ask me ? Me and baby could have come along. '

' Nah, the Ice Cream sucked anyway. I just wanted some time on my own. '

' So you feel better now ? '

' I ate an Ice Cream which tasted like mint. No. I feel worse. '

' Pchh . . You don't need to worry too much. Everything will get okay.'

' I know. I just don't know how much time it will take. To find a job, to find a place. It will take a lot of time. '

' You have all the time in the world. '

' HaHa !! I wish. '

' When Gautam ( her husband ) left I was pretty down myself. I had to look for a job. Had to find a way I could take care of Baby and a career. It was hard. But I survived. '

' Mind if I ask how ? '

' Drugs. Heroine. '

' What ? No way . . Really ? '

' No, not really. Knowing that I had someone else to take care of gave me a lot of strength. And now I had someone who loved me unconditionally. That love made me stronger. '

' Wow. So no drugs, huh ? '

' A lot of coffee though. '

She went off to her little kitchen. I dropped my head back. I had no idea what next. The whole picture was an ugly mess for me. No job. No place of my own. I was being a burden to my best friend who was already under a lot of stress.

And then I felt a tug on my pants. It was baby and she was trying climb up on the sofa. I picked her up.

For the first time in my life, I realized how beautiful, how angelic baby was. All the stress was gone. I was smiling once again, playing with her.

Its then that I realized. Life is an absolute surprise. Sometimes the big picture is beautiful but finer details disappoint you. But if you look even more closely the smallest of things make life worth living.

Snake Deluxe

2010-06-02T20:13:00.000+05:30

The snake. A reptile. Its reputation is unmistakable. As per the bible, it was a snake who tricked Eve. Venomous and dangerous : the snake can make a fat woman jump in fear.

We know more or less everything about snakes.

So lets take about Snake, the game. You know our old favourite game. Earlier we used to play snakes on a handheld videogame players. Later, with advancement in technology we began playing Snake on our Mobile Phones. And today this game Snake is the pride of all human kind. God might have created everything but he sure wasn't the one who thought of this ingenious game.

Snake, such simplicity and yet such authenticity. You don't want the snake to bang its head against the wall, nor would you like the snake to bite its own tail. And thats the whole game.

I remember how desperate I was to reach the very end of Snake. I bet the World Chess Champion or even that kid who could solve the Rubik's Cube blindfolded would find it hard to win Snake.

On a bright sunny day, some one gave me Snake. After 5 losses in a row, I couldn't bear it much longer. I decided I had to win this game.

To hell with everything else. All that mattered was Snake. I had successfully mastered the art of avoiding the wall. They tried to make it harder by introducing a maze but I was above that in no time. The problem was I kept biting my tail. After some 68321 points and into level 48, the snake just got too big. And everytime it bit its tail it started all over again ( in level 48 ofcourse ).

My Mom asked me to buy some bread from the market. I heard and I ignored. Then she began talking to herself about how irresponsibile kids these days were.

And my Daddy, he wanted me to go out and play cricket.

' Son, play some outdoor sports. These mobile games will only mess up your brain. Outdoor sports are healthy like cricket. '

' Damn it !! ' I yelled. I bit my tail again.

He went out of the room.

My girlfriend called home. My mum said she had been trying to reach me on the cell but it was switched off. It wasn't. It was on flight mode. Nothing would interrupt this game. Nothing.

' She's on the phone. ' my mum said.

' Tell her, I'll call her. ' I told Mum keeping my eyes on the phone.
' She says its important. ' Mum replied after a moment.

' Tell her its over between her and me if she persists. '

' What ?!?!? Do you want me to come over there and slap you ? ' Mum asked angrily.

' Yeah, sure. Whatever. '

Nothing could take my attention away. But the devil persists with his devilry. I was on level 50. The last level.

Snake was huge. He was no longer a baby rattle snake. He was a gigantic Anaconda now. And not one of those realistic Anaconda. The big one from the movies. He was vicious, vile and wicked.

And there my family conspired against me. My moment of glory was about to come when I heard :

' Pizza's here. ' my mum yelled.

I paused the game. I turned and glared at my mother. It was intentional. She smiled.

' Come and eat it while its hot. ' she mentioned with a smile.

' Oh look. You're still busy with your game. I think I'll eat your share of the Pizza. After all, its no use eating it after it gets cold. ' my sister. She was in it too.

' Why ? ' I asked completely shocked.

They smiled.

Here was the dilemma. A descion had to be taken. Should I go and eat my Pizza while its hot and safe from my evil sister's evil intentions and leave the game paused ?? My first love, Pizza - it was waiting for me on the dinner table. But if I leave for Pizza and return to the game, I will lose my flow. And I only had 2 more lives.

It was a choice between pure bliss and neverending glory. I could only stare at the blinking image of the snake wondering what now?

The blinking of the snake made me realise how I often blink and miss opportunities. Momentary pleasure shall not sway me. It shall not guide me off my chosen path. I choose glory over all else.

And I played. While my sister danced around me making funny noises about how she was eating my Pizza, I played. While both my parents damned all the youth of the world, I played. While my girlfriend texted me a message that she was dumping for my best friend ( and ofcourse I only got that text after I turned on my phone ) , I played. But I played and I played like no other man. And by God, I won. My snake was longer and better fed than any other snake in the world.

Those fools. Someone overstuffed herself with Pizza. Someone lost me. Someone lost faith in all the youth in the world. They lost something. And I won.

Snake.

Loose Change

2010-06-02T19:57:00.000+05:30

Change is unavoidable. Change is the only constant.

But this isn't about that sort of change. Its about loose change. You know where Rs. 10 is in 10 Rs. 1 coins. Thats the type of change I want to talk about.

From shops to cabs to the subway, nobody seems to have any change.

Today people say I have no time. ' I can't. I have an exam in a week. I have no time right now. '

Tomorrow people will have time but no change. ' I want to. I have nothing else to do anyway. My mom and dad want me to. But I have no change for the Bus fare. I only have one Rs. 500 note. '

My friend asked me to buy him a Kit Kat. A Kit Kat is worth Rs. 12.

I had Rs. 100 on me.

Visit to the supermarket proved fruitless. Neither did they have change for a 100 nor were they willing to arrange for it. In fact, they made me feel as if an offer of a Rs. 100 note for a Rs. 12 chocolate was a religious crime.

Next, I gave the small stores a raid. Most of them did not have Kit Kat's. The few who did merely gave me a hateful look and silently muttered ' Get Out. I don't have change. ' One fellow didn't have change but was willing to arrange for it. He took my Rs. 100 note. And then after 20 minutes came back disappointed with a black eye.

I thought I would be able to buy a chocolate at the medical store. They were sure to have some change. But I was wrong. They yelled at me and told me to come back with change. I could only wonder : so many people would have walked into the medical store without change. These many people wouldn't have been able to buy medicines for themselves or their loved ones. So many must have died because they didn't have change.

I couldn't buy my friend a Kit Kat. And so he broke friendship with me and vowed never to speak to me again.

Its not just there. I wanted to go to another side of the city. I decided to take the subway. The subway tickets are worth Rs. 4 whereas I had a Rs. 20 note. I stood in a queue for 20 minutes. They said they didn't have change and asked me to wait a while. I stood beside the counter for 20 minutes. When I enquired at the counter if I could buy a ticket. They told me to wait and queue !! I got irritated. But I waited in queue for 20 more minutes. And they still didn't have adequate change.

1 hour lost.

I decided I wanted to take an autorickshaw. I didn't intend to tell him that I didn't have any change. I got on. Some lady yelled ' Auto ! Auto ! I have change ! ' Since I was sitting beside the driver he quickly pushed me out of the auto. Before I could get back on the auto, he had already taken the lady and sped away.

I sustained some injuries.

I took the bus. It dropped me all the way . . for free. They didn't have change. So they let me go, though there were some very violent verbal abuse thrown at me.

The root cause of all of our countries miseries and that of all the world need to be identified and respectively adressed. Throughout the world there is a lack of change. People lack the understanding of the importance of change. Some like me take it too seriously. Others take it too lightly.

The government needs to bring change. Don't just tell me, there will be change. Show me change.