A Modern Wife's tale

CINNAMON ROLL WAFFLES

2012-04-03T17:54:00.000-05:00

So I read on a blog (via pinterest) about super fast, ridiculously good waffles using canned biscuits and your waffle iron. I tried it. WONDERFUL.... my mind then decided to one up this recipe and try it with Canned Cinnamon Rolls!

Step one- Place canned cinnamon rolls on hot waffle iron/maker and cook until light golden brown.

Step two- top with butter and syrup

I was feeling extra wifely so I made an Maple Syrup icing : using 1/8 cup Karo light syrup, 3/4 cup maple syrup and the packet of icing that comes with the canned cinnamon rolls (reserve just a slight amount) that came with the rolls. Combine ingredients and mix well! Use the rest of the icing to drizzle over the top of the waffles for company or that extra pop!

My husband could barely get out the word-YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! before the whole plate was gone and it took me.... 5 minutes. only dishes I had? 2 measuring cups, whisk, and hubby's plate! Now that is my kind of cooking!!!

~Modern Wife

Garlic and Herb-Crusted Lamb

2012-02-12T11:00:00.001-06:00

I love lamb. No other words, I just love me some lamb! Here is my version of a cooking light recipe.

Garlic and Herb-Crusted Lamb

YIELD: 20 servings (serving size: 3 ounces lamb and 2 tablespoons sauce)

COURSE: Main Dishes

Ingredients

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon thinly sliced fresh chives
1 tablespoon fresh thyme leaves, coarsely chopped
1 (8-pound) leg of lamb
12 fresh garlic cloves
1 1/4 teaspoons salt, divided
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
2 cups fresh sourdough breadcrumbs (about 4 ounces)
2 1/4 cups beef broth
1/2 cup Merlot or other dry red wine
2 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
Fresh thyme sprigs (optional)

Preparation

Preheat oven to 425°.
Place garlic, mustard, and oil in a food processor; process until smooth. Stir in chives and thyme leaves.

Trim fat from lamb. Cut 12 3/4-inch slits in lamb; Sprinkle surface of lamb with 1/2 teaspoon salt and pepper; rub heavily with roasted garlic paste mixture. Press breadcrumbs over surface of lamb. Place lamb on a broiler pan. Insert meat thermometer into thickest part of lamb, making sure not to touch bone.

Bake at 425° for 10 minutes. Decrease oven temperature to 325°. Bake an additional 2 hours and 10 minutes or until thermometer registers 140° (medium-rare) to 155° (medium). Remove lamb from rack; place on a shallow serving platter. Lightly cover with foil; let stand 15 minutes.
Drain fat from bottom of pan (do not scrape pan).

Place broiler pan on stovetop over medium-high heat. Add broth, and bring to a boil, scraping to loosen browned bits.

Combine red wine and cornstarch, and stir with a whisk. Add to beef broth, and return to boiling. Cook 1 minute or until mixture is slightly thick, stirring constantly. Stir in 3/4 teaspoon salt, and serve immediately with lamb. Garnish with thyme sprigs, if desired.

Nutritional Information: Calories: 211 per serving

My adpatation of a Cooking Light recipe featured in the APRIL 2003 'zine

BLUE HAWAII CUPCAKES

2012-02-09T16:28:00.000-06:00

You know... I am not quite sure when it started.... My fascination with cupcakes that is. I think it has to do with the splendid awe of a tiny cake iced just for one (me) and the cutest decorations that come on top. Then ... I discovered I had a extra yummy fascination with alcoholic cupcakes.... I mean WHO DOESN'T like a shot AND cake???

Here is one of the cupcake recipes that absolutely gets my mouth watering...

Ocean blue cupcakes that take your taste buds on an Hawaiian vacation with coconut, pineapple and blue curacao.

Ingredients

FOR THE CUPCAKES:

½ cup Blue Curacao Liqueur
½ cup Cream Of Coconut
3 Egg Whites
⅓ cups Vegetable Oil
1 box (18.25 Oz. Box) White Cake Mix
8 ounces, fluid Crushed Pineapple (with Juice)
Blue Food Coloring

Ingredients for Spiked Whipped Cream:

3 cups (1 pint) heavy cream, cold
5 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon Vodka
1 tablespoon blue curacao
Food coloring, if desired (for more blue effect)

Preparation Instructions

Preheat oven to 350ºF.

Make sure to line 2 cupcake pans with cupcake liners.

For the cupcakes- combine blue curacao, cream of coconut, egg whites and oil. Blend together with an electric mixer. Add cake mix and beat until well combined. Stir in pineapple with juice and blue food coloring.

Pour batter into lined cupcake pan, filling cups 2/3 full. (Be sure not to over fill) Bake for 15-20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the middle of a cupcake comes out clean. Allow cupcakes to cool completely or frosting will not set.

For the Spiked Whipped Cream: Beat cream and sugar until stiff peaks form. (if mixing with electric mixed use on highest setting, watching constantly- do not over mix) Next, Gently fold in liqueur with a rubber spatula. Color with a few drops of food coloring. Makes about 3 cups.

After the cupcakes have cooled, pipe/ spoon on frosting on cupcakes and decorate with umbrellas, straws, pineapple, gummy sharks, crushed graham cracker (sand) ect. and lastly bottoms up!

.... just in case you are wondering what the real deal is? I present to you...

The Blue Hawaii

Recipe courtesy Food Network and The Cookworks

Serves:

1 serving

Ingredients

1-ounce vodka
1/2-ounce blue curaco
1/2-ounce coconut flavored rum
2 ounces pineapple juice
1-ounce fresh lime juice

Directions

Combine ingredients in a shaker with ice and mix vigorously. Stop when the shaker is too cold to hold. Strain into a chilled martini glass and garnish with a lemon twist.

Actual cupcake recipe is my own twist/version of a few found on the Internet. Blue Hawaii drink recipe is from the food network.

I would like to thank- http://www.easy-birthday-party-ideas.com/luau-recipes-3.html and http://www.flickr.com/photos/vjarymow/2634590266/sizes/m/in/photostream/ for taking better pictures than I could.

9-11 WE REMEMBER

2011-09-11T13:00:00.002-05:00

I was eating breakfast, pregnant with my (now 9 year old) daughter when this happened. I remember the sick feeling in my stomach that had nothing to do with pregnancy. I remember the dryness in my throat and just how completely unreal it seemed.

9-11 We will never forget.

Since then, I have gone on to read a book about flight 93, and marvel at how brave those people were. But, in some way WE ALL were brave. Every single American that the attacks effected was brave that day. Some much more brave than others... I mourn the price that was asked of many that day.

Today, the story of Peter Negron was so touching. He was the little boy (11) who read a poem at the tribute ceremony that happened 10 years ago. He is all grown up and trying to fill the shoes of his father to his little brother. My heart breaks for these family 9-11 effected and cost.

Then and Now...What an amazing son he is, what an amazing person he is.... please take time to read his story.
Peter Negron 10 years Later

Arnold Palmer

2011-09-07T10:08:00.006-05:00

Arnold Palmer-An Arnold Palmer is a beverage consisting of 1/2 iced tea and 1/2 lemonade named for golfer Arnold Palmer.^[1]^[2]^[3] It is often called a half and half.^[4]^{[5] (source wikipedia)}

First of all, I have to thank my husband for discovering this by happy accident. He brought it home to us one day and now? My family LOVES to drink Arnold Palmers! It has brought out the mixologist in all of us! We are drinking all kinds of crazy concoctions mixed with tea. My favorite? 1/3 ice tea, 1/3 lemonade, 1/3 cran-apple juice. I wonder if I will rue this day when my children go to college and become the popular kids who invent drinks!

Apparently there are some variations on the recipe-I saw a variation that used blackberry lemonade and my tastebuds begged me to go grocery shopping! We also have- a Mint Arnold Palmer, Peach Tea Arnold Palmer, Green tea AP, I am sure your imagination could be endless.

Historically the drink was named after a pro-golfer (Arnold Palmer). In researching one variation that happened (pre-scandal) was the "Tiger Woods" which is 1/2 lemon-lime Gatorade (haha) and 1/2 ice tea! Which BEGS the question- Can you get the "tiger woods" at Perkins or no?

Now....If I could invent a beer version for golfers... I might just be modern and FAMOUS.

Arnold Palmer

Prep Time:15 min

Serves:4 to 6 glasses

Ingredients

4 English breakfast tea bags
1 tea kettle filled with boiling water
1 cup Simple Syrup, recipe follows
1 cup lemon juice
1 lemon, zest
2 cups ice cubes

Directions

Tie the tea bags together attach to the handle of a large pitcher. Pour the hot water over the tea bags and into the pitcher. Set aside to steep for 5 minutes.

Lemonade:

To a blender, add the Simple Syrup, lemon juice, lemon zest and ice cubes and pulse to puree. Place the mixture into the freezer until the tea has finished steeping.

Add ice cubes to a large glass and top with the tea. Using an ice cream scoop, scoop the "lemonade" into the glass.

Simple Syrup:

1 cup sugar
1 cup water

Add the sugar and water to a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil and allow to simmer until the sugar has dissolved. Remove from the heat and set aside to cool completely.

Recipe courtesy Tyler Florence, 2008 http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/cda/recipe_print/0,1946,FOOD_9936_213530_RECIPE-PRINT-FULL-PAGE-FORMATTER,00.html

Belly Days

2011-08-31T13:47:00.002-05:00

My belly days are coming to an end. Our precious little gift will arrive in less than 30 days.

As ready as I am to meet her, know her, and see her……I am going to miss my husband talking to our princess, feeling her kick and the games that they play together. Where daddy pushes on my tummy and she kicks back. I know we are moving on to meeting her which is exponentially better than belly days- but I will never forget the hugs, the love, the kisses, and the time my husband has spent at my belly talking to and building a relationship with our little girl.

You know interneters....They often say that motherhood starts at conception and fatherhood starts at delivery. I am in awe of my husband who started building and paving a relationship with his daughter, close enough that inside of ME, she knows and recognizes his touch.

Seeing that bond between them build across belly lines is something I will cherish and admire for the rest of my life. These incredible memories will be tucked away in a secret place in my heart forever.

Found on craigslist

2011-08-24T10:21:00.003-05:00

Jedi Needed To Induce Labor:I am nearing towards my due date and I am miserable. My child is about 9 lbs now and I still have 2 weeks to go.
I was hoping that tonight's full moon will do the trick, but this child is as snug as a bug in my uterus.
I'm looking for someone who possesses Jedi powers to use their mind tricks on my child to convince him to come early. The sooner the better.
If you are a master in the way's of the Jedi please help me deliver this child! Many thanks and may the force be with you!

SOURCE: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wma/2442771514.html

I had an all out head on the desk, belly shaking laugh moment at this craigslist posting.

Boy do I know how this MOMMA feels! With 30ish days left I am ready!!!!

You have no idea the problems you face when preggers... The other day my husband and I were in the car and were going to switch drivers. I told dear husby that I would just hop over the center console into the passenger seat no problem!! (LMAO) Half way through the process I was like, UM I need to check myself before I wreck myself.......WTPREGNANTFARK was I thinking??? Self did you really forget you are 9 months pregnant and this isn't as easy as it was when you weighed 150lbs??????? I felt like a turtle trying to flop over with it's big shell in the way.

Ahhh and yes.... Let's not forget the 7+ times in the middle of the night FUN of waking up to pee. You know it is bad when you annoy the DOG. He too, is showing signs of sleep depreivation and now sneaks coffee from the pot in the mornings.

Now I don't mean to sound ungrateful for our precious gift. She is already a blessing and even in the womb has such a little personality! I am just simply saying that if she chooses to come a week or two early or a Jedi wants to help me out too, this momma has no objections at all!!!! :)

An angry sea, and the emotions of steplife.

2011-08-22T10:20:00.000-05:00

I quietly observe from the sand as she tosses him to and fro on the waves of emotion that come out of her. The waves are as enormous as tsunamis and you can feel the enraged energy harnessed in them from the beach.
Mother-ocean lifts him up only to rip the promises away. I watch as the wrathful surf crashes around his innocent face. He swims and swims trying to make sense of where he is and where this relentless tide is coming from. He is flailing in desperation and then fails, he tires in the surf unable to swim against the lashing any longer.

I watch from the dunes as my husband calls to him from the water’s edge like a lighthouse for a boat. The bitter ocean doesn’t allow him passage and the waves become even more complex and gaudier, in the confusion and surge the child starts to believe that it is the beach, the safe haven that is his enemy. He swims twisted and confused and looking angrily on to the beach, definitely pushing himself further out to sea. The depths erupt in a laughter that sounds like a hurricane. The wind and waves pick up and His father crumbles at the water’s edge, he can’t save him from this. The father would cut his arm off and jump in the shark infested waters but he cannot.

The child finally makes it on to the beach, every other weekend. He isn’t the same child he used to be for the salt and the surf and all the weathered storms have made their mark and he is changed. On the beach He is comforted, he is held, he is washed and cleaned, he is kept safe and fed morals and values, kind and good hearted things. He never wants to go back but yet it is time. His father, bleeding from the inside, sees as he is mercilessly called back to the tide, in mounting horror all he can do is look on as his son is swept away by the sea- innocence taken and lost, and feared lost forever.

I am in step-life. I wrote this poem to let my emotions bleed out so to speak. I think it would have been more fulfilling to have written it with a fountain ink pen, as the physical sight of seeing the ink bleed onto the paper would properly dispose of the emotions inside of me.

I am not sure if any of you that follow my blog know that I am a step mom to a great little boy who has a really rough go of life. His parents aren't able to co-parent and it really is hard to watch him be tossed around. My husband has tried everything he can to work with "the other side" and it doesn't work... The other side hates my husband more than she loves the child in this situation. I am sick over it today. I want to plead with her: what is wrong with her- let it all go, start loving the child and doing what is in his best interest.

Our system has failed. I truly believe that our court system (at least in my state) has failed to truly grasp the step life aspect that is thrown into people’s lives when a divorce happens with children. I realize some children are fine, but others are truly hurt and damaged by parents who refuse to do what is in the best interest in the child.

If you have to take a training course and then a test to drive, because they want to make sure you are responsible enough of a driver to hold a license, you should have to do the same when you get a divorce with children.

After all, in both instances people’s lives are at stake and injuries could be permanent.

That sounds dramatic doesn’t it? But it’s true. Children of biological mothers and fathers that PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) to me can be equated to the parent in a car and driving under the influence. Injuries happen, emotional damage and things a person can never forget.

I am personally watching this happen to my stepson. I am watching his situation destroy him. When we seek an attorney to remove custody we are told, the mother isn’t doing enough to have the child removed completely. We are told at best we will have 50/50 custody. In our situation having 50/50 custody would be like trying to co-parent with a rabid dog in a psychotic ward.

It is enough to make you crazy. The lies for no reason, the harmful and hateful things she "tells" her child about his own father that have ZERO ounces of truth in them. My step-son's life is not dictated by a loving mother who does what is best for her child, who sacrifices for her child and who knows what true love is and lives that out every day for her child. No. My stepson’s life is dictated by manipulation, hate, bitterness, immaturity and worst yet convenience. I shudder typing that out.

I wish I had a happy ending to this, some inspiring words to share, but the truth is, this is it.

I pray for my stepson every day and I love him the best I can when he is here. We strive to be the one consistent loving force in his life. No child deserves to be put through what he is going through and I will never be able to wrap my head around what he is put through. We feel helpless. Everything we try and do to help is all for not. You can't co-parent without one of the parents. It simply doesn't work. I am heartbroken for my stepson.

Thanksgiving post in August

2011-08-19T09:17:00.002-05:00

Fall and Christmas (not winter as I hate the cold after Christmas) are my favorite time of year! I decorate like crazy for fall, thanksgiving and Christmas. I usually take time out in November to thank everyone, it is kind of a big deal to me.

However my heart couldn’t wait for leaves and chilly weather.

I am thankful for my faith, God is good all the time. Even in the trials and tribulations!

I am thankful for my husband. We may not be perfect people but somehow we are able to give and take enough to have the perfect marriage (for me). His love and companionship are my better half.

I am thankful for my children. They touch my heart and are turning into the most wonderful little people. I am thankful to have one more gift coming soon (in fact she should arrive in about 30ish days). I feel so blessed to have children who are beautiful from the inside and out.

I am thankful for my life. It may not be the crème de la crème to some people but it feels amazing. I am giving birth in 36 days and I get to stay at home with my little girl, in our brand new house and neighborhood where my children have already made friends with children and we really like our neighbors. We have lots of couple friends and my husband and I get date nights very regularly! Life is such a blessing!

I am thankful for the rest of my family who love us like no tomorrow. I am thankful for my husbands job, I am thankful for the flowers in bloom in our backyard, I am thankful to have a puppy dog who is loved like another child in our family. I am thankful for the opportunity to spend more time with my children at their school this year. I am just thankful for a good life! Today my heart is full of thanks!

"It isn't what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful, but what you have in your heart."

a Work Funny

2011-08-16T10:08:00.003-05:00

My very best friend in the whole world has a boss named Richard.

I realized how amazingly lucky my best friend was when my BFF was telling me a story where said boss was being a jerk about some vacation time.

BFF- I wanted to notify you of my vacation on X date through Y date.
BOSS: (condescendingly)-Well... I mean.....if you have to take vacation I guess that is what it is here for. If you really feel like you need to take it off.

I piped up and asked best friend if- when told that BS by the boss, did Best friend say- THANKS DICK! and add a little the finger gun BANG

I realized my amigo could call the boss DICK without calling him a dick, because his name is Richard and he DOES go by that name. This to me was the epitome of a WORK peanut butter and jelly! ( you know that childish treat you never grow up from) Seriously.... This was awesome.

Does it make me a big-time jerk if I wish MY bosses name was Richard, Harold (harry), or some other legal way to have a vent moment while properly addressing them? It would be like having warm apple pie and ice cream delivered to your desk or like winning the lotto.

Well... maybe not.....at least it made me giggle and .... it would make me feel really warm and tingly inside when I need to blow off steam!

Small Pebbles on a Parenting Mountain

2011-08-02T21:23:00.002-05:00

This weekend my son was playing around (he is quite the jokester) and got a bit carried. It wasn't a huge deal, in fact it felt tiny, but then again it was significant enough that I could not overlook it... I say it was tiny but significant because I knew where he was coming from was innocent (and joking) but he was in trouble for not respecting an adult. Unfortunately for him the timing couldn't have been worse... we were literally walking out the door to big, fun plans for the kiddos.
I hate when that happens- you are right on the cusp of something fun/fantastic with the fam and BAM you are hit with parenting and it isn't at the most opportune time either.... you are stuck between sticking to your guns (which is my parenting MUST) or laxing a bit because in this case the adverse joke came at a bad time.

I am the self proclaimed GI JOE of mothers, a real hard-ass in mascara, so you know I went with sticking to my guns. My son had to sit out while our other two children enjoyed themselves at our local entertainment Haas.

The whole time we were there He cried, he had a horrible time, I wanted to cry and didn't have a great time either. Outwardly I was mother GI JOE but inwardly I was hating it for him and cursing motherhood, probably not the wisest thing to do while 3rd trimester pregnant by the way. I hated to see my little boy miss out on all the fun but knew it was for a good cause, I just wondered if HE would see that and if he was indeed learning a lesson from it. So- I sat myself down and gave ME the speech about him needing to be taught the lesson of respecting adults, authority, etc. How this was bettering him as a person and sometimes lessons came at a hard price.

At dinner (our next stop) he said something I will never forget- Thank you for taking us to NAME OF REALLY FUN PLACE. Thank you for thinking of the us, kids and letting us have fun. I really appreciate that. I said- but you didn't get to play. You had to sit out because actions have consequences (gearing up for my whole prepared mom speech-see above) and he said- I know but that doesn't matter you still took us there and I appreciate it. He went on to apologize for his actions and told me he knows that all actions have consequences. Even if you don't mean them bad, it can turn out bad.

I was speechless. He was getting it. He learned and I could feel the happy tears sting my eyes! Sometimes we don't see immediate results as we parent and we wonder if all the blood, sweat, tears, and speeches are getting through. Mom's & Dad's It's working! Today I was struck by this quote because it seemed like it fit this situation most of all.
Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.

Shoe plan solves national debt AND crop circles

2011-08-01T21:55:00.000-05:00

Do any of you have those moments where you look back and wonder what the heck was I thinking?

Tonight my husband came to me for advice about the yellow and dry spots in our front yard. He wanted to know my opinion on man-territory. I felt honored and prized. I dawned my yard-heels and joined him in the crisis zone. The problem seemed simple enough our water bill was ungodly because in this summer drought we simply can not keep up with the demand of our yard in these conditions.

Upon further calculations I realized the severe drought that my state is in this summer has cost my husband and I more than two pairs of Jimmy Choo heels. Really. This problem now had my full attention.

Three facts about me you might not know about me. One, I like green grass. Two, I have a slight designer shoe fetish. Three, I cannot stand to look like an idiot

I said the first thing that came to my mind, a silly solution that I hoped would make my husband laugh, I reasoned that if we made crop circles in the dead spots that would keep the neighborhood association at bay, and the money we would save money on watering I could spend on designer shoes, it sounded like a win/win for everyone! I mean I might be able to sell photo-ops and admission and get a matching PURSE for my shoes too! It was perfect, I even plotted out a soundtrack to my plan- express yourself by Madonna.

When he didn't laugh, deep in thought I realized that I might have been insensitive to him seeing this as a real and major problem and me making light of the situation would only serve to hurt his feelings. So I had two options- one of which, must be chosen fast as I was literally in the weeds. I could sell this silly idea or admit I was kidding and look like an insensitive wife in standing in 106 degree heat and yard heels....for nothing.

As I started for the house to put my plan on paper and started to talk details with my husband.... I realized that while the brains and great heels of the operation had a good initial plan, the brawn of the plan, husband who actually knows how to operate a mower, doesn't have a creative bone in his body. My plan was unraveling quickly.... and I needed an out that wouldn't make me look like an idiot to the one man on the planet I am still trying to impress......Hey wait a minute.... Humans don't EVEN make crop circles! YES! That's it! DEFLECT!

It was only common sense, hard won out of the sheer agony of seeing my shoe plan unravel and the threat of idiotic labels that it came to me -Crop circles can't be made by people! They are really teenage aliens. Yes crop circles are graffiti and these teenagers should get a city fine for "tagging". Of course you would add a county, state, and national fine also and wallah debt solved! Think of the gang problems we could break up in other galaxies!

The look from my husband that I was from mars? Doesn't stop me from posting here on day two of my blog that while saving face has gone horribly wrong I managed to solved the national debt AND crop circle mysteries! Where is my martial credit for THAT?!

The busy girl's guide to looking great

2011-07-31T21:48:00.001-05:00

My maiden voyage in the land of blog and I don't feel quite ready. I don't look the part of the modern wife- I am 7 months pregnant in mis-matched pajamas and I need a haircut. I have also been thinking about some highlights er...maybe..... low lights (since its the end of summer here shortly). However I type disappointedly because I haven't a clue! I should know exactly what to do with my great hair predicament, because I was modern enough to buy a book called "The busy girl's guide to looking great"

I bought the book while rejoicing the fashionista saints who were looking down on me with pity and highlight hints from above. Imagine my further success when I was finding this book on the clearance table.(while running an errand at the bookstore and in a hurry).

The back cover says it's a fabulous book and I bet that the tips for make-up, hair (highlights) and diets are incredible. The problem is... I am too busy to read it! I would laugh at the cliche of it all if I didn't feel victim to a marketing ploy! Preying on the weak-minded busy moms/wives hoping this book would make them feel like they had a personal stylist in their back pocket. . Yep haven't done anything but dust the cover of the book on my nightstand.

One for the ad execs and Zero for the modern wife......At least the cover looks great.