A Mother's Place

new goals or not?

2011-01-02T07:39:00.000-08:00

With the new year often comes new goals for people. I've never really been a New Years Resolution person, but I do like to check my life balance this time of year. What do I spend my time doing, where do I spend money, who do I spend time with, what relationships do I nurture (or not?), what am I learning in my walk of faith, etc. It's kind of a checks and balance thing for me and to some it may sound like new years resolutions, but I find it just an appropriate time to remind myself to double check what my life looks like. I usually do this in the fall too and typically the same things roll around in my head as I continue to prioritize my life, my purpose, and my calling for right now.

This year it's been a theme of community and family. Really, since I've had kids this has been my yearly themes that I spend much time being intentional about. The last few months though, I'm feeling very pulled to be at home as often, as much, as needed. I am a stay at home mom, but that doesn't always mean you are here physically and emotionally. As my oldest has entered school I have found this takes up more brain space then I expected... to be prepared, to help him succeed, to use the few hours I get a day to train him with life skills, God skills, and fill that love tank. It changes our daily dynamic and does require some new routines that include plenty of time for the listed above. It also makes a difference in my youngest child's life as I work hard to give him the opportunities and time that he needs at his young age at home. I'm also finding I need to be present to provide ample opportunities for family dinners, family nights, Bible teaching times, family fun, book reading, down time, emotional support, and just the bond you get from simply being available for whatever arises. That doesn't even include managing the daily duties of running a household and organizing meals and life for everybody!

Along with being present to provide strong family development, I am feeling the pull to be present within our community of people we've chosen to invest time, energy, relationships, and life with. The last few years I've felt a strong calling to be a part of community...for many reasons. I strongly believe God meant for life to be done alongside others. I'm slowly learning what this really looks like for us. I think community and families go hand in hand and I am trying to figure out how to continue to mesh the two into one.

So however you see these, goals or not, this year I am planning to keep my focus on my family and building community. I'm finding to do these well, I am needing to say no to more things...for this season. Time really flies by with these young children and we have to be very real, present, and intentional with how we spend our minutes... nobody is promised tomorrow after all.

New Year

2011-01-01T06:51:00.000-08:00

I am breathing a big sigh of relief today. It's a new year and I didn't realize how much I was looking forward to this. 2010 was a year of many blessings, but also many trying times. I feel like I aged 10 years this last year and my world has changed in a whirlwind of events. The things that happened didn't seem like a whirlwind at the time, but I found myself exhausted and worn out about a month ago and I think it had a lot to do with the months leading up to it.

Don't get me wrong, 2010 was filled with blessings in many shapes and forms. My family, healthy children, good marriage, friendships-old and new, vacations, lazy summer days, a new family dog, lots of family time, life changing experiences, a stable church, love, laughter... many everyday things that bless our lives here immensely.

However, 2010 also brought uncertainties, doubt, fear, sadness, brokenness, humility, and heartache. In 2010 I went through a small roller coaster ride of wondering if I had breast cancer... a few short weeks worth of testing and waiting and thinking. When you think you might have a life threatening disease you let your mind go to "what will happen with my kids"? At least that is what I went to right away, just in case. This question made me really think about how I spend my time, who is spending time with my kids, how well my kids know Jesus, how I spend my time with my family, and what I am doing with my gifts right now in this season. Everything came back okay and in the end I realized I cried a few too many tears over simply being scared and let my mind get the best of me a time too many. I felt super re-leaved and not at all too young to start getting my yearly mammograms (which aren't real fun, might I add, unless you like seeing your boobs smashed into a flat pancake!) None the less, I was taught early detection is smarter then ignoring something and that even if I did get positive test results, God had a plan all along. Trusting constantly has been my year long lesson on a whole new level.

Almost 2 months later I woke up early one Monday morning to a phone call from a dear friend. Unable to understand her on the other end I finally convinced her to breathe and just whisper to me... what I heard her say rocked my world. At that moment she was in the PICU with her baby boy, on life support. My hands shake just typing this again and I am not sure I can truly put into words how this started to change my life. Getting a phone call like that suddenly puts life into perspective. Community became so important to us as we had to depend on ours to hold us up while we went to be the community around our friends. Trusting our community of friends were taking care of our children so we could be with our friends and their children. Trusting God once again had a plan. Trusting even when everything seemed to be telling us we would not see the answered payers we wanted. As I sat with and cried with and ate with and laughed with (yes, we found times to laugh!) and prayed with and questioned with and hoped with and worshiped with and feared with these friends, I felt my heart shift to a place I didn't know I had. A place where God leaves empty until you decide to let Him in. I think this place shows itself though a tragedy like this one to help you feel what is happening and meet Jesus in a whole new way. In this place you need Jesus like you never had before, yet you are a bit afraid to just hand it all over knowing what He may still choose to give you. 8 days after that Monday morning phone call I found myself cleaning out the hospital room with a sweet still baby boy laying in his bed. Goodbyes had been said, songs had been sang, prayers given, and tears shed. I felt weak and small and useless and the only thing I could think to do was get my friend out of that room and clear it out so she didn't have to return to this place. That was a defining moment for me. In that moment as I bagged clothes from the last week, cleaned cupboards out, threw fast food containers away, took down art work from cousins, and set pajamas out for this sweet baby boy, I felt like I was going through motions but wasn't actually there. It was the most surreal moment in my life. I remember thinking "this doesn't happen, babies don't die, we are too young for something like this, this can't be it." Once we were finished cleaning and collecting and organizing I walked over and said one last goodbye. I held a cold little hand and whispered one last prayer and suddenly felt the strongest desire I've ever had to be in heaven with my family. The drive home that night was sad with my husband and I couldn't help but think about our friends driving behind us, 1 less boy in the van. This could not happen to them, could it? This experience in 2010 has been life changing... not just for me, but for many. The months since this have been different, yet the same. This doesn't just go away, yet we must live our lives. Our friends have been pillars of faith and I have so much respect for what they have honorably walked through trusting and faithful. It feels good to leave 2010, yet sad for what is being left behind. Something about the new year though feels fresh and clean and renewable.

In the midst of all this we also have been trying to have another baby. This was a struggle before, so we knew we would have some time ahead of us before we most likely succeeded. 1 year of trying and 6 months of fertility meds and one hysterosalpingogram later we found out we were pregnant! I was thrilled and wasted no time getting excited! Knowing I had friends also just pregnant, I thought for sure this baby was meant to be. Sadly, just 2 weeks after learning we were pregnant I lost the baby. This was a sad time, but not near as sad as watching our friends say goodbye to their boy just a few months before. It still was sad though in a different way and with that sadness came other emotions I am not proud of. I felt annoyed with my still pregnant friends at times and jealous of teen moms and mad at my body. I felt guilt for running and thinking I needed to be in shape at the possible sake of my baby's life. I felt annoyed for spending thousands in fertility costs only to be let down. I know all the verses in the Bible that tell me about hope and God's plan and trusting and His desire for good for us, but for a little bit I curled up in a ball inside and just felt broken and weak and down. And I think that's okay, for a little while. I know God has good plans for me and I DO believe that... but for a little bit I needed to just let down after a long year of ups and downs... and you know what? It felt so good. When I started to come out from that curled up ball I could breath a little better. Like a breath of fresh air I didn't realize I needed.

So, here we are 2011. I'm so happy to be here and even though I come with some battle wounds, I am here and ready to trust God and let Him keep leading. I am breathing deeper again and fear isn't sitting on the brim of my heart like it did for so many months. I have learned God doesn't let things happen to us to paralyze us, but to energize us. I have and still am learning from the fly balls He hit to me this last year, but with some grace, love, faith, and trust I think I will catch them if I keep looking forward and trusting His plan, not mine. In this life hard things are going to happen, but I have hope in knowing that Jesus came to give us life! This is a promise, no matter what... lost lives, no money, bad health, whatever your trial is... God's son brings us hope, new life each day until the end. Happy 2011 to you all! May God bless you richly!

something I get to do

2010-11-19T22:50:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things in this season of life is being able to spend a little time in my son's classroom. He is only in first grade and I love the few hours I get each month to work with the kids in his class on reading or math or really anything the teacher has left for me. Part of what I love so much is just simply getting to know my son's peers. The kids he spends his days with, plays outside with, eats his lunches with, and learns so many new things with. As I sit with each child I always take the first few minutes to just talk to them. I ask about their day or comment on their cool hockey shirt or check to see that they are excited for the upcoming vacation or getting a good breakfast in the morning. Most the kids are always doing well and happy and love getting to come out in the hall for some one on one time. But, sometimes there are kids who seem a bit sad or worried or tired or unengaged. I had a lot of that today and I left the classroom today feeling so much sadness for these little lives that are tryng to be who God made them to be without a ton of help from home at times or too much distraction at home to fill these little love tanks up. Three little one's today told me about their parents not being together, 1 dad gone in the Army, and 1 very worried child that he was going to get yelled at when he got home because he lost his coat on the bus, becasue his dad likes to yell at him...he was sure of it and very worried.

One boy especially today brought tears to my eyes as he told me how much he missed his dad when he was with his mom and he really wanted to be with both his mom and dad at the very same time. He has the best smile and the sweetest dameanor and I just wanted to scoop him up and take him to that place where both his parents would be getting along and together and happy. If even for just a day.

I drove home today thinking about this little boy, William, and the other children who had hearts a bit on the heavy side today. Children of God already walking through some of this world's pain. That pain comes in different sizes and shapes for each one, but pain still the same. These are my son's peers, his friends. As they get older they will start to walk through these pains together, like friends naturally do. I felt so honored today to get to be in their world a little bit. To be able to offer a smile, a squeeze of the hand, an extra smiley face, or a very honest "hope to see you again soon, I love getting to listen to you read to me" on their way out the door.

My children will grow and make friends and start doing life with their own community of people. I am so thankful to have the time these days to start out in this world a little bit, hoping for even a window in the teen years :) These kids are important to me because they are important to my son and to God. I know the days will come when I've let my children down and I hope there is another person willing to ask them how their day is and offer them that extra pat on the back when I fail to. Today though, I felt God using me as my son's mom to just be that person for a few of his own people. My prayer is that our family can always be that for the people in our own little lives, whether we are 35 or 6 or 3 or 42. Lord knows we have had some amazing people be that for us.

Sweet little ones.... I pray you may feel both mom and dad's love even when you are apart from one, may you know how much dad misses you and thinks about you even when so far away, and may you find your warm little coat and feel a bit of grace even if you don't.

it's okay

2010-11-18T04:47:00.000-08:00

I've been staying home for almost 7 years now as a stay home mom and wife. When I made this transition I had about a year of serious transitioning. I loved being home, but had a hard time letting go of all my outside commitments. These commitments were good things and I really enjoyed them and I had a passion for their purpose. I thought to not do them would disobey God's purpose for my life, why He created me. I thought I would feel dead inside. From those first days of becoming a stay home mom I have slowly stepped away from the lie that I need to fulfill all passions I have through a purpose outside my home. Doing those things did not make me who I was, being who God made me is what makes me who I am. And I am finding that can happen solely in my home these days. I sometimes lose sight of this. I sometimes think I need to keep one toe in something just to keep my foot in the door of some really awesome things happening around me. I sometimes feel left out and just simply get caught in another lie that I need to do the really great things around me to really be a part of the Christian community around me. So, I let things go and clear my schedule and focus on home....for awhile. And then I find myself with a teeny tiny bit of time and think I should add something. Then I just find myself in the same spot... worn out, tired, and unfocused.

You see, I have felt the very real truth that this time with these young children of mine is so short. And so temporary. And I want to finish this well like I've never finished anything else in my life. The more into this parenting role I get the more I learn how much time, dedication, and focus it takes. Some days I can't even follow through with my new discipline for my oldest because I've had so much brain activity happen for little things outside the home in just 24 hours I can't remember that I started that new discipline! And the thing is I don't DO a lot out of my home. But, it doesn't take much to distract me and Satan will throw anything my way to keep me too busy to be completely focused on raising this family right now. I get mad at myself when I let this happen, frustrated with my family for not doing more around here, and frustrated that I am not strong enough to carry all that is on my plate. This last one is another lie I am facing in my life. It's not that I am not strong enough, but God, I believe, does not want me spreading my hands across a variety of little things PLUS my home and family. Being in the home is busy enough for my heart, mind, and body!!!

Bringing up my family is my sole purpose right now, hands down. As a family we surround ourselves with some community and some things worth teaching our kids about, but at the end of the day I need to be in my home...whole heartily, body, and mind. God is here, my family is here, and I need to stay here. For now. For this season. It's really very short and also very temporary. And truthfully, I love it.

It's okay to say no mama. It's okay to feel alone in this some days. It's okay to have nothing on my "volunteer list" for a bit. I am not a bad person because I can only manage my family and home these days. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

changes

2010-11-15T11:36:00.000-08:00

I always have a hard time writing on this blog. I thought I wouldn't. However, every time I sit down to type out some great thoughts in my head I start to doubt that what I have to say is worth sharing. Originally, I thought this blog would be a place for me to share the tid bits of wisdom I have found since becoming a wife and mom, as well as share my mistakes to learn from, and keep track of my good ideas to use for future use. Really though, I need a place I can go at the end of the day to just share what's on my heart and mind. A place to just be myself and get some of these thoughts in my head out so I can process life a bit better. I do enjoy writing and used to journal almost everyday. I no longer take the time to do that in my journal and find I like typing more. Not only that but I just like connecting with other women too. So i have decided to make this blog more like my own personal journal and you may enjoy reading about my sometimes unbalanced life or you may yawn and skip to the next blog. Either way, that's fine with me. I think this will be good for me and give me a sounding board when I need one at the end of the day. Someday my kids can have this and I hope they will know me better from reading about my life while I raised them.

So look for a little different postings in the days to come. I hope we still can connect and share like in the past and most of all I hope to find God at the end of the day as I process through whatever he throws my way.

VOTE!

2010-10-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

I am not going to use this post to hand out all my political views and what I think you should do on voting day. Rather, I want to simply encourage you to go and vote. As mom's I think it is our responsibility to practice this privilege we have. Our communities and our states and our nation are greatly influenced by those in office. As mom's we should carefully consider our options and what and who we want representing our voices, representing our kids. I am posting this today to give you a heads up that Election Day is TUESDAY! If you haven't yet, research some of your candidates and take your kids with you to the voting polls. What a great opportunity to show them you care about their community and to let your voice be heard through your ballot.

finger lick'in good!

2010-10-25T07:48:00.000-07:00

If I lived in a fall type atmosphere 365 days a year I would most definitely weigh 500 pounds. I love fall food! Especially fall treats! Pumpkin anything and warm apple anything makes me drool a bit just thinking about it. Yum! This is by far the best pumpkin bar recipe I have mastered in my decade of baking. I get so happy when I pull out that first pan of pumpkin bars from the oven each fall. Mmmmm, the smell, the taste, the cream cheese frosting. Too good! For a guaranteed mouth party experience try these this fall...

Mama's Favorite Pumpkin Bars

Bars:

4 eggs beaten slightly

2 C sugar

1 can of pumpkin

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1 C oil

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

2 C flour

Mix together eggs, sugar, pumpkin, cinnamon, and oil. Add remaining ingredients. Blend well and bake in jelly roll pan at 350 for 25 minutes. Cool before frosting.

Frosting:

8 oz cream cheese

1/2 c margarine (not butter)

3 1/2 c powdered sugar

2 1/2 tsp vanilla

Cream together until smooth (no lumps) and smooth over bars.

Be sure you share this pan or you will find yourself cutting little pieces off all day until you've finished it yourself! Enjoy!

what I do and don't do

2010-10-22T11:24:00.000-07:00

There has been some buzz around my group of friends lately about what we do and don't do. The lists are filled with anything from 'I do recycle" to "I do read my Bible everyday" to "I don't garden" and "I don't watch TV". I have been thinking a lot about this myself recently and it seems to be a good practice to just write down and help clarify what I do and don't do. Some of the things in my do lists are things I want to do better and don't necessarily do much of right now. Same as with my don't do lists. There are things I do right now that I hope to not do soon. (for example I wish I wasn't addicted to good TV shows!!!) So in at attempt to bring some clarification to my purpose right now here is part of my lists. I'm only sharing some of it because to be honest I am embarrassed to share it all!

I do...read to my kids everyday. exercise fairly regularly. connect with friends, deeply and often. garden. spend time in my child's classroom. prepare good meals and has my family sit at the table for at least one of them a day. read the Bible with my family. read books almost everyday. grocery shop with organized meals in mind. send cards to people in my life. pray for others often. check in with family members. hug my kids everyday. kiss my husband everyday. spend time with families and their kids. give money to those with less then me. spend time outdoors.

I don't... recycle (I wish I did but I'm just not at that place where I can make it work yet). waste time on the Internet (and getting better at limiting email and blogging time :). make homemade things. don't sew.volunteer outside of my home much right now (more on this topic in another post). have a clutter free home. attend every mommy group I'm invited to. lead much of anything other then my household (this came off my do lists a few years ago when I used to lead a lot of things). work outside the home. make a lot of money.

This is just a handful of things on my original list. As I wrote my "I don't" lists I often had to have a reason or an excuse as to why I don't do it. So many of us mom's think we need to do it all. It's just not so. We are not made to do all things and part of what makes us uniquely made is that we each have our own set of skills and gifts that we get to use. I have found this list making freeing in some ways and also humbling. It helps me really focus on what I believe to be my purpose right now, this very moment in life. Sure, I wish I did some of the things in my "I don't" lists but it would take away from my "I do" lists if I tried to do all these things. My "I do" list helps me know what I am doing right now and what I need to be doing well today. There are things I hope to add to my "I do" list and know there are some things about myself that I can do better to make such new things happen. By looking at my 'I do" lists I also remind myself of what I need to do to be me.... even the little things like spend time outdoors. I connect to God so much through nature and not taking time to do this, in my opinion, takes away from the way God created me to be with Him.

What's on your lists? I started off just jotting a couple things down and the last month or so have gone back and added more and rewritten some things. I feel a pull for what other's want me to do and this list helps me say no when I need to and to really stay focused on what's needing to have my time, energy, and commitment. Give it a try.... write some I do's and I don'ts down and see how your heart reacts.

those ahead of me

2010-10-03T15:55:00.000-07:00

You know, as I have lived life it seems I have always had someone just a little ahead of me in life whom I have been able to kind of walk behind. These people have touched my life in so many ways and I have learned so much through them. Some have actually been named a mentor in my life and others have been just going about their own lives without even knowing that I was watching, listening, learning from them. I think as mother's it is really important that we have some older mom's who we can watch, listen as they speak, and learn from. It is even biblical... Titus 2:4 says "These older women should train the younger ones to love their husbands and their children."

I recently watched one of my "unknown older mom's" in church with her family. I have been watching her for years, but this day I saw her showing love to her grumpy and moody father-in-law. She sat on one side of him and as her husband sat on the other side of this man I thought "Wow, I want to be able to love the unlovable in my family the way she does." We all have them don't we? People in our life that are hard to love or difficult to be around. I think God puts these people in our lives on purpose, to really teach us what it means to love at times. Loving shouldn't be easy. Love's depth isn't fully filled until we choose to love the hard ones.

I know I have not loved certain people in my life the way God would want me to. I even justify myself at times saying these people are too grumpy, too mean, too opinionated, too this, or too that. They don't DESERVE my love, right? Well, guess what? I don't deserve God's love. None of us do. And He loves them all. God loves the grumpy, the mean, the judgmental (oh, wait, that's me!). When I see someone like this little bit older mom loving her very moody father-in-law I think to myself "I want to love like that, I want to TRY to love like that." Because here is the thing... not only does God love me and yes I should pay that forward the best i can, but there may be another younger mom watching me. Or even better yet... my kids are watching me. I want them to love people. I want to love people, even the hard ones. So today my friends, my goal for the weeks to come is to show love to those in my life who make it hard. I have my elder mom to thank for inspiring me to love like God more and like me less. As the Bible says... teach the younger generation.

Good Neighbor Day

2010-09-27T07:33:00.000-07:00

September 28th is national Good Neighbor Day! What a great reason to celebrate in your own community. What a great opportunity to teach your kids that it is important to take the first step in being kind to your neighbors. At our house we like to bake goodies (pumpkin bread this year) and take them to our neighbors. I think this year since my oldest can write I will have him write a little note to attach to them. We live in a really great neighborhood and I am so thankful for the friendly atmosphere our chunk of homes offer. For the most, we are surrounded by elderly and retired. I love it and my kids do too. My kids have been invited over to help wash a car for 10 cents, to help feed pets, to go swimming in a neighbor's pool, and just over for ice cream or cookies. I love the relationships my kids have with our neighbors and mine too. I can always go next door to borrow a wheel barrow or an egg or even a truck to load stuff away! We are blessed with our neighbors and I am happy to thank them on Good Neighbor Day! Take a few minutes to walk across the street tomorrow or next door, if even to say hello and drop off a candy bar or a flower from your yard. Good neighbors make great communities!

Here are some suggestions for celebrating the day:

Help your neighbors in some way
Offer a smile and friendly hello to your neighbor
Have your neighbor over for a meal
Hold a block party
Get to know your neighbor a little better

I could really use...

2010-09-25T15:38:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we just need a little something to get us over a hump... it may be something radical or something very small. Today, my somethings are small...I could really use a date night with my husband, a laundry fairy (did I mention I have done 6 loads today and still have about 5 left? ahhh!), a good hair-cut, and a movie night on my couch with a good chic flick. (Maybe I can make the husband thing and the movie thing happen at the same time tonight? :) These things are small and not super life shattering, but all the same, it would be nice!

When I start feeling or thinking this way I sometimes start to think about other people and what might they really need at that moment. I usually am surrounded by my healthy family, in a warm cozy home, and in comfy clothes when I have these thoughts. It makes me feel pretty darn blessed and the "somethings" I think I need are just icing on the cake for this life I get to live.

The days I get to have that hair-cut at that nice salon or a night out with my hubby or the remote all to myself for a night (and lets just be honest, there is no laundry fairy) become really great moments in an already great life. Are we not spoiled at times? Even better, I love spoiling my mommy friends when I can because I know under their already really blessed lives and totally awesome families, that they are very hard working moms who often put themselves last. And you know what? They deserve a little something every so often. So, what is it for you? What could you really use today? How about your pal? Maybe you could treat each other a bit?

I think us mom's should all tell our mommy friends to take a little time this week and do a little something for yourselves. I think we're better mom's for it!

Do you have space?

2010-09-23T19:56:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have been thinking hard about how I live my everyday life. I am feeling like I want to live a life that has space for life to just happen... instead of trying to make my life happen all the time. I want to have my heart ready for what life brings us, my head able to be in the present moments, and my home available for life to just unravel here. Space. I am feeling a lot lately that in order to live daily filled with joy and peace that I need to allow for space. Leaving room for my heart to be filled and my head to be challenged and my home to have lots of possibilities requires me not being too bogged down to miss or over plan for these chances. Chances of a life time. These are short but important thoughts for me tonight. I want to start waking up in the morning feeling available for what God has planned for me and my family that day. Hmmm.... space for God to work and for me to follow. I think I need more space...

tip #2

2010-08-27T10:47:00.000-07:00

Still plugging away with my book, The House That Cleans Itself. So far, so good. There is some serious thinking and habit to put into this, but I am liking the end results, so it is worth it so far! My next tip I have found helpful...

Do a 5 minute walk through of your house every day. Yes, every day and ONLY 5 minutes. Set your timer if you have to. This is when you will pick up those socks, hang up and straighten those towels, and put last night's newspaper into recycling. During this time do only light straightening and no heavy cleaning. Don't let your mind wander, don't get distracted by the wet clothes in the washer or the Internet pulled up with all your emails. 5 minutes of quick straightening. It becomes a habit after a couple weeks and a pretty good one if I don't say so myself. I have even added this to my kids list of chores they help with. Often it is the kid's toys or blankets thrown around on the floor. It's good for them to offer a hand for 5 minutes and return things to their home.

Wa-la! Tip #2 worth trying! Straighten away!

Today

2010-08-20T11:55:00.000-07:00

Today I began my morning convincing my toddler that he needed to go back to sleep when I found him standing beside my bed at 4:30am. It was a day to get up and head to the gym with my girlfriend and I strongly thought about texting her and bailing. By 5:45, little one was finally back to sleep, but I was now wide awake even though I felt exhausted. I half walked, half slugged to my bathroom to slip into my gym clothes, pull my hair back, and try to stick my contacts into two half open eyes. Needless to say my work-out was about a C average and my body just kept trying to convince me to run straight to the nearest coffee shop and then find a place to nap. And soon. Days like today, I am so thankful for an accountability work-out partner!

After the gym I headed home to find two boys hungry and a husband off to work. 4 pieces of toast, 3 glasses of OJ, and 2 bowls of cereal later we were all three planted on the couch reading books and petting the family dog. Mmmmm, life felt good. Shortly after this and getting dressed and picking up toys from last night and cleaning dishes from this morning and of course finally drinking a cup of coffee, we were out the door. You see, my oldest is headed back to school soon and today I had all the time in the world with him and I wanted to do something fun.

After a quick stop at a little shop we made our way across the bridge to check out the "cool water" as my toddler calls it. Next was a morning of surprises. And even better, with my ever so faithful work-out buddy and her sweet toddler full of great comments to keep us laughing and blue eyes to warm anyone's heart. We spent the next hour playing at a fun little park across town that we never take the time to trek over to. After swings and slides and a sweaty game of "You're it!" we surprised the kids with lunch. Not that getting lunch is a surprise for our kids, but what was on the menu sure was. Today, like no other days we indulged in ice-cream for lunch. It tasted so good and I am now sitting here a bit jittery after ice-cream for lunch and my second cup of coffee for today, but oh well...we only get today's like today every so often.

Now here I am with my sticky faced toddler napping soundly in his bed, while I listen to the rain drop softly outside, and my big boy is having a last minute play-date with a friend from school. My cup of Vanilla Raspberry tastes especially yummy today (you know, since I am going off little hours of sleep) and I can't help but think about how my day could be going so much different.

There are days I choose to not get out of bed and go work-out, I don't take time to read books and snuggle after breakfast so I can clean the kitchen, I turn the TV on so I can "quick" do some laundry, I don't add any ridiculous idea to my agenda ( AKA ice-cream for lunch), I don't take time to just have my kids hang out with our friends or myself even, and so on. You get the picture... well, I like today. And I am thinking more often then not, if I would just choose the more relationship building, physical healing, time pausing, ridiculous idea implementing, and the good cup of coffee (always the goof coffee, always) that my today's could be an awful lot like this one.

Today, I feel connected to my kids so much, my heart is warm from doing random things with my dear friend, my body is feeling good from even a C average work-out, and my brain is even a bit clear....even off little sleep. We never know how many today's we get in this life. Today has been good. I could have chosen differently at 5 this morning, but it has been good. I hope I choose to have more today's like this. Life is filled up with today's, some just become old and some are yet to come. When I look back at my life I hope I feel like I spent my today's right where I was at and not thinking back at old ones or worrying too much about new ones. Live your life for today while those little ones are around and those friends are free to make it the best days of your life.

roots & wings

2010-08-15T13:57:00.000-07:00

Being a mom is a BIG job! We all know that, don't we? It requires a lot of work, time, and energy. Doing this mom job though is much more then changing diapers, feeding their bellies, washing their faces, and car pooling to soccer. As mom's we have the opportunity to give the world little people who grow up to be positive, influential, serving, loving, and faith centered adults. These little one's we are molding will shape generations, near and far. They will set the bar for your great grandchildren and beyond.I truly believe this and strongly believe as mom's we have such a task ahead of us of doing our job to help get our kids there. I am sure you have heard the words "roots and wings" used together before, but as a mother it holds so much understanding as we are child rearing.

Once our little bundles of joy arrive we begin our journey of giving them solid roots. Roots that will help them stand tall and firm when life gets hard for them, confusing, or difficult to get through. Roots will give them a place to be landed on the ground and not blowing aimlessly through the winds of life. Roots will give them a secure place to make mistakes. Roots will guide them as they go on and try to fly on their own. And that time will come. We want it to come for them, hard as it is at times, but God intends for these little ones to fly away someday. By giving them deep roots, we also give them wings. Wings to try new things. Wings to see the world from a higher place. Wings to speak up when they need to, be humble when it's right, to reach bigger goals, to love better, to have the confidence to try and succeed, to be a positive, influential, serving, loving, and faith centered adult.

As mother's we can be a great disservice to our children by not taking the time now to help them plant their roots deep into a healthy, loving, faith filled, grace filled, encouraging, patient, kind, and hope filled ground. Roots planted deep in this kind of rich soil is the building ground for helping our little ones fly when the time comes.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I am doing now at home to help my kids dig deep into their roots. I want them to be able to fly someday, on their own. That means I have to work hard now to set the foundation for having a rich soil for their little roots to dig deep into. I only get this chance once with them. Not only do I need to help my kids get grounded with long, strong, deep roots...but I also have to be able to keep my roots planted deep in rich soil. Lately I am finding I need to be planted deeper in God's word and with God. Time away from both of these only make my roots wilt a bit. I want to see my kids fly away someday, but I won't get them there without keeping my own wings afloat. I am challenging myself to do what it takes to keep my roots planted deep in God's rich soil. Along the way, I have a feeling I will be pruning my kid's roots too.

absent in one way or another...

2010-08-12T17:26:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed I have been a bit absent lately from this blog...or maybe you haven't. I have no great excuses other then this simple one that I let roll around in my brain weekly...

"Do not give away what you have not given at home first."

I read this when I first became a mother and it has sunk deep into my soul. I think of this often when I'm trying to choose between saying yes or no to something. I think of this when I think about sitting down to blog too. I enjoy blogging and writing and connecting, however lately my days have been filled with summer fun, my boys, cooking, getting ready for school, listening to my husband, chatting with friends, cleaning, and just being here...in my home...head, heart, and body. It's been good and even though I've let up a bit on some "outside" things, it's been right for all of us here in this household.

This does not mean I will always be absent! I've just had a period where I needed to really be at home...all of me. So this blog has seen a little break :) Time is priceless and lately I've been using mine up on who and what is in my home. More posts to come.... soon, I promise :)

tip #1

2010-07-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

If you've been reading you know I am working my way through the book "The House That Cleans Itself". Loving it, but man is it some serious leg work to get to where I want to be! At any given time right now you may walk into my house and see hoards of "things" in one room or the other. Tackeling every square inch of my house, while ridding of some, and reorganizing of others makes for a bit messy looking home. It's temporary I keep telling myself. I know all this hassle right now is going to be worth it once I get things in a functionable order for our living arrangements here and now.

So, here it is... tip #1 I want to pass on! Set up "cleaning stations" in every main living area of your home. A cleaning station consists of Windex easy wipes and Clorox or off brand wipes. So far I have 5 stations. Upstairs bathroom, downstairs bathroom/laundry room, living room, family room, and kitchen/dining room. When I have 5 mintes to clean a room my basic supplies for a quick clean are right at my fingertips tucked away in cute baskets unseen to the human eye. And lets not kid ourselves...5 minutes is pushing it for time I have to clean rooms most days! For example, I sneak away into the bathroom to do my morning deeds and without my kids even noticing I'm really gone yet, I quick clean the mirror, wipe down the counter, toilet seat area, and bathtub. It's not "deep cleaning", but it is maintaining until I take advantage of my main cleaning time scheduled on it's own bathroom day. 5 minutes tops and I'm back playing Candyland and painting choo choo trains. Easy enough!

What I like about it? I don't spend those first few minutes walking over to get my cleaning tub with all my supplies, cleaning, and the putting everything away back in the downstairs closet. It's quick, simple, and done! So far the only negative I've noticed is buying the wipes can add to cleaning expenses, but it seems to be worth my sanity for this season of life. My family room has never stayed so clean since I added it's own cleaning station!!

Try it out! Set up a few stations and let me know how it goes! More time for playing with our kids! Whoo-hoo!

really...only 5 minutes?

2010-07-17T15:53:00.000-07:00

I read today that getting outdoors can really brighten a person's mood. Do you know how long it takes to be outside to do this? FIVE minutes! Wow. Who doesn't have 5 minutes each day to step outside and breath in God's creation? As moms, we have many days that feel long and hard and never ending. We typically love these long days with our little one's pitter pattering through our homes, our minds, and our hearts... but for the days when you get a bit crabby, yell at your kids too much, spill your coffee, get no laundry done, and forget to take the video's back... step outside. Five minutes to take in your surrounding, see some green or some white depending on the season (around here anyways), and just listen to nature. Ahhhh, I feel more peaceful just visualizing it.

Today it is 94 degrees here and humid. Stepping outside sounds.... yuck a little bit. Unless of course I can step out into this....

...but I can't. So, I settled for the community pool instead and came home just as refreshed! It's amazing what being outdoors does for one's spirit. Next time you need a little something to help your day go better... take 5... and you know where! Get outdoors!

sweet corn time!!!

2010-07-14T17:01:00.000-07:00

There are many things I love about the Midwest. There are also many things I love about living surrounded by farmers and agriculture. I have many memories as a little girl, following my dad up and down corn rows in my bare feet as he rips off ear upon ear of sweet corn. We would then sit on turned over 5 gallon buckets and husk sweet corn all night and throw the fresh ears of corn into a tin bowl that my mom would come and get every 10 minutes or so. As my mom worked to boil and freeze corn, we would eat multiple ears of corn dripping in butter for dinner. Mmmmmmm, so good!

I love sweet corn and I'm not sure if it has to do with the fond memories of the project it was for me with my parents or because it taste so darn good! Either way, summer and sweet corn go hand in hand at our house. I made a call today to a local farmer and was thrilled when he said I could bring my boys to come pick our own corn and take home with us. What a great trip it will be to have my own children follow me up and down the corn field as we work together to gather our own yumminess. Some childhood traditions are sure worth passing on!

laugh a little

2010-07-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

Children laugh 146 times a day... adults laugh only 4 times a day... no wonder so many adults are unhappy! Find a little humor in your life today!

Moms- your family will thank you!!!

where to start?

2010-07-08T11:30:00.000-07:00

Sitting in my living room with a new mommy the other day brought me so much joy. I love hearing how women transition into being mother's. It is such a precious moment that women who are blessed with children get to experience. What isn't joy filled about that?!?! As all new mom's know... there are many happy joy feelings, but also can be overwhelming, tired, and hormonal feelings. For some mom's who decide to change lifestyles and become a stay home mom it can be a big transition! As we chatted about this and she asked for some advice from a mom who hasn't figured it all out yet, but has been in the home for a handful of years, I came up with just a few things. Mostly things I learned along the way or read from some great author in a book!

I know this blog has mom's reading it! Please share your greatest tips for becoming a stay home mom or even a new mom!

A few from this ole mom...

Have a schedule or at least a routine. Kids and schedules are hard to keep, but routines can be followed. I think children function better with routine, as do mommy's!

Get up before your kids if possible. You will be much more ready to tackle your day with a little time for yourself and you won't start behind! Trying to catch up all day is one heck of a long and tiring day.

Schedule in some Bible time when you are making your new schedule! While you are at it, try including some rec/play time for you & your kids (you'll be amazed how easy it is to get the kids playing and then do your own thing- make time to just play with your kids. You will go to sleep at night much easier knowing you did :)

Pray. Pray for your children, your husband, yourself, your home. Big believer in prayer! Amen!

Teach your children. As you look for new purpose in your new position as stay home mom, add teacher to your list of responsibilities. Teach them about everything. The Word of God, bugs, plants, numbers, making friends, cooking, playing, sharing, just everything.

It is a great time in your life when that bundle of joy arrives and you have a new path to walk down. A bit scary too. Where do you start? Where did you start? Like most mom's say... follow your heart and you can't go wrong.

a first

2010-07-05T16:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had a non-traditional July 4th kind of day. It was raining cats and dogs here, so we opted to not go ahead with our picnic and firework party plans. Instead, we had a movie date :) For the first time our entire family headed to the movie theatre! We are kind of picky about what we let our kids watch, but Toy Story 3 was rated G and had good reviews and our boys love Toy Story 1. So off to Toy Story we went! To begin this beautiful date we all napped on the huge couch in our family area. I LOVE napping with all of us piled into one area. We woke up in time for the matinee, packed a few essentials in a bag, and took off! Holy cow, apparently everyone else in our town had the same idea! We stood in line outside of the movie theatre doors and by the time we got up there they told us we could not sit together because they were so full. Rats! We decided to drive to a nearby town showing the movie an hour later.

Turns out, this was the best thing yet! Pulling up to an old theatre with the magical movie lights and sign gleaming was so fun! The kids loved it! (okay, so did I!) It had a small town feel inside... first names between most of the people inside, best customer service at the concession counter, and the small cozy theatre. Sure, we missed the stadium seating and the surround sound and the super duper big screen with a picture perfect clear view... but, we got a quiet, cozy, laid back, friendly, old time feel for the movie scene. I was so happy we came here with our kids for their first movie together as a family! It proved to be a great back up plan!

The movie was cute and our 2 year old even sat through it (happy!!). There were only 2 times I cringed when they used the word "idiot" and the rest was a wonderful story about growing up, friendship, serving one another, and fun adventures. We highly recommend it! But, you must watch the first 2 before you see this one!! At first I was a bit bummed we didn't do our July 4th festivities. But by evening I was totally thrilled with what our day had become. What a great surprise!

Sometimes, the back up plan is better then our original plans. Often times I think I have the ultimate plan for my life and become frustrated when it doesn't pan out. If only I'd let go from the beginning and let God show me His plans... maybe I'd find another cozy classic old movie theatre to snuggle into!

where have I been?

2010-06-30T11:10:00.000-07:00

Anywhere, but at my computer apparently :) Wow, it's been 3 weeks since I posted something! Time flies when you're having fun! Oh yeah, and when you are chasing kids, cleaning house, making meals, vacationing, sleeping, and enjoying summer too!

Being it's been so long you are going to get my random ramblings today...

First, ever since my last post I have gotten a couple great suggestions for "cleaning lady" experts. I googled a few and found one I LOVE. My newest project is this: The House That Cleans Itself. I am studying this like a college student (okay, maybe more like when I was in high-school since I worked harder then :) If you haven't come across this gal yet, check. her. out!!! Serious organizing and making sense of my house cleaning routine. I do have to say my house is getting more messier right now then cleaner, but it is temporary while I complete the process that Mindy suggests. Stay tuned!
http://www.mindystarnsclark.com/house.php

Second, I have decided that all mom's no matter where they are at at 2pm should get a 20 minute power nap everyday. I think it should be a law or something. Seriously.

Third, my husband and I are celebrating our anniversary this month and I need a creative idea for him. These are my guidelines: free or cheap, can happen within 2-4 hours, guy friendly, something different. Suggestions may be dropped off in the comment box :) Thank you.

Fourth, I love sleeping in a tent with my kids. That first breathe of fresh air in the morning is amazing and their cute little faces all conked out are pretty cute too.

Fifth, I can't stop eating Nutter Butter's lately. Dang it.

Sixth, summer goes waaaaaayyyy faster then winter. What's up with that!?!?

Seventh, I really want to make more time to chase fireflies and sip on lemonade this month with my family.

Eighth, my laundry is almost totally caught up!!! Hallelujah!

Ninth, I really, really love my friends. A lot.

Tenth and last, I hope you do something fun with your family for the fourth. Even if you just eat a picnic in your backyard, go for a bike ride, take naps together, blow bubbles, or watch fireworks on TV. Happy Fourth of July Folks!!!

More ramblings next time :)

a cleaning what?

2010-06-08T11:32:00.000-07:00

This is the response I got from my mom once when I told her I had a cleaning schedule.

"A cleaning WHAT?" she said.

"Yeah, you know... a cleaning schedule." I responded.

It sounded normal in my head, but when I said it out loud I got an opposite response. Oh well. I don't mind being a bit non-normal from time to time. For my sanity about 5 years ago I made myself a cleaning schedule. And I love it! I was going crazy trying to keep up with my house cleaning. I decided having little ones in the house was going to cause me to stay in this crazy stage at least for the next 10 years until we were done with the little kid stages. 10 years is a long time to feel crazy. Part of what was so stressful was feeling like I was never going to find time to get to a certain chore. They just piled up on me and I would go to bed feeling very defeated in the "proverbs 31 woman" area of my life. Not that she only keeps a tidy and efficient running house, but it is a big part of her duties I assume.

Finally, I decided to try a schedule. Sounds a bit much, but it worked! I sat at my computer and typed a little trial schedule of when things needed to be done. As I tried it, I tweaked it a bit and now I have what I like to call my "mama's master house schedule"! Beautiful!

What do I love so much about it? Well... let me tell you! I love that I wake up each day and know what needs to be done. I love that when it is a Thursday and I see my weekend is full and I know my bathrooms need cleaned really bad, I can relax, because bathroom cleaning day is just a few days away and I have already carved time out to do this task. I love that I don't have to feel overwhelmed cleaning a bunch of rooms all at once. I love that my oldest knows when it is bedroom cleaning day and he just does it now. Awesome. I love that random cleaning things get done... like baseboard cleaning, window washing, and getting cobwebs down...without having to stress about when the last time was they were cleaned or if ever? I love that when my husband is bored on a Saturday I can look at my last week's cleaning list and see what may have been missed due to a sick kid, a field trip, or doctor appointments. And then I love giving them to him when he can't possibly think of anything to do :) I love knowing my house is running in a somewhat organized chaos mode. It's still considered organized even if no-one can tell but me, right?

Yes, my Type A cleaning schedule has made me a bit more sane for a few more years. Thank goodness, because we all know there is more important things to stress about then whether or not our homes are clean!!!

Mama's Master House Schedule

Sunday :: Day of rest
Monday :: Bathrooms
Tuesday :: Floors (sweep & vacuum/mop every other week)
Wednesday :: Dust
Thursday :: Bedrooms
Friday :: Basement
Saturday :: Catch up day from anything not finished during week

:: Do laundry daily as needed
:: Clean & change sheets on bed every other Thursday

Wash Windows :: Inside every month, outside in May & October
Baseboards :: Clean in January & July
Cobwebs :: Feb, May, August, November
Outside :: Care for as needed

"...a good dad!"

2010-05-30T18:45:00.001-07:00

As my husband left to run the dog my oldest was getting ready to get into bed. Dad ran up the stairs and my 6 year old yelled up at him... "good night Dad! You've been a good dad today!" Needless to say we cracked up laughing, even though our son was being serious.

Oh...what smiles we would bring to others if we so freely yelled out the obvious good things happening around us. The honesty of a child can be a bit scary at times (hee-hee) or so ever complimenting. So go ahead... start your week yelling out the great things happening around you and be sure those doing it know it!! Happy Memorial Day and enjoy your week!