A New Yorker in Oslo

Don't waste your one precious life

2026-11-12T15:44:43.572+01:00

This pretty much sums up how I feel about life......

The narcissists among us

2026-11-10T15:31:15.332+01:00

You can sum up a full-blown narcissist, or at least the full-blown narcissists I've had the displeasure of meeting, in a few words--obsession with money and control. I first met a narcissist when I was young and inexperienced. When he wasn't worrying about how to control others (including me), he was focused on how to make more money. He was extremely judgmental, cold, and sometimes nasty in his comments and responses to others. There's nothing wrong with wanting to make money, but if it leads to envy and greed, it's wrong. If money becomes the focus of one's life, you're on the wrong path. The other narcissists I've known are women, and they were and still are obsessed with money. It is often the first topic of conversation. These women are driven by the desire for money, and they are envious of those who have money. They feel entitled to wealth, and if others don't give them the money they want, they will cut them off or shut them out and find a new sucker who will support them until that sucker wakes up. From the time they were children, they were beguiled by wealth--big houses and large expense accounts. There is never enough money to satisfy them, and their behavior toward others involves either manipulating them into giving them money by making one feel sorry for them, or blaming them for not doing so. They are fond of blaming others for their own failures and failings, but if they achieve some success, they are uninterested in crediting others who helped them in any way. In other words, if they are successful, they got there by themselves. They would never acknowledge that they got support or help in any way, and they are rarely grateful. They are haughty, judgmental, cold, self-entitled and often nasty. They have a complete disregard for others' feelings or experiences; you or someone you know could have been majorly ill and they'll never ask how you are feeling. They don't really care. They are quick to cut you down when they disagree with you. Their words are used like weapons, like swords. Their worlds revolve around themselves, and if others are allowed in, it is only because they are 'useful' to the narcissists. Narcissists need to control the narrative and they need to control others, and if they can't, they get angry. If you've ever been the recipient of the anger, you'll understand exactly what I mean when I say that you need to get over the fear that they instill, in order to deal with them and eventually detach from them.

Sometimes there are periods of years when the narcissists 'wake up' and see the world around them for how it really is. Sometimes they acknowledge their own failings and try to make amends. That is to be praised as a good thing. However, these periods are few and far between, and eventually narcissists go back to being, well, narcissists. Putting themselves first, telling themselves that everything revolves (or should revolve) around their lives and wishes. If you've gotten sucked in again to their world in one of the better periods, you'll find yourself on the outside again rather quickly when you don't behave the way they want you to behave. So again, it's best to not get sucked in at all by their narratives or attention. It involves being a bit cold and emotionless yourself, but it's the only way to survive. Narcissists are, as I said previously, shells of people. They are also emotional vampires and soul suckers that will suck the positive energy and compassion right out of you when they get into trouble, because then they need you to tell them what they want to hear--that it's not their fault. Except it mostly is. They have to be right. They will try to convince you that their view of life is the right one, the only one. Only we know that's not true, because they can offer no solid evidence for why it should be so. They are delusional because they live in their own world. Most of them, because they are cold individuals, have few to no friends. They then envy those who have friends.

Am I interested in knowing why narcissists became the people they are? No. I am interested in stopping narcissists in their tracks, and the only way to do that is to remove oneself from their lives. Perhaps hard to do if you are married to or involved with one. But if you can separate oneself from them as much as possible, your life will feel much easier, as though a weight has been lifted. You may have had compassionate feelings for these shells of people, but guaranteed, your absence in their lives will not lead to their missing you, unless you have been helping them out financially and suddenly stop the money flow. They'll miss that.

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All of us have some narcissistic tendencies that we tend to label as selfishness or vanity. But most normal people feel shame or remorse for their narcissistic behavior and apologize to those they have hurt. They don't behave like full-blown narcissists.

Full-blown narcissism is something quite different, and is considered to be a major personality disorder. If you'd like more information on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the following summary will give you what you need. It was copied from: Narcissistic personality disorder - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic

Symptoms

Symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and how severe they are can vary. People with the disorder can:

Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration.
Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment.
Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements.
Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.
Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate.
Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people.
Be critical of and look down on people they feel are not important.
Expect special favors and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them.
Take advantage of others to get what they want.
Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.
Be envious of others and believe others envy them.
Behave in an arrogant way, brag a lot and come across as conceited.
Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office.

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they view as criticism. They can:

Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special recognition or treatment.
Have major problems interacting with others and easily feel slighted.
React with rage or contempt and try to belittle other people to make themselves appear superior.
Have difficulty managing their emotions and behavior.
Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change.
Withdraw from or avoid situations in which they might fail.
Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection.
Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, humiliation and fear of being exposed as a failure.

Love this

2026-11-08T17:21:56.408+01:00

One of the best presentations of Democratic Socialism that I've read

2026-11-08T12:47:28.969+01:00

I know that no one man or woman running for political office will be able to solve the many problems facing the USA. But the key word is Hope. I now have Hope after the blue wave midterm elections. Hope that there can be some type of return to normalcy. Hope that sociopathy can return to its rightful place under slimy rocks. Hope for a better future for the younger generation. They're the ones who will be inheriting the mess that we've made. It's time for the elderly politicians to welcome in the younger generation. These midterm elections made that clear--that the younger generations are rallying around candidates who speak for them and their issues. That's as it should be. And there are many good candidates stepping up to the plate. Do I remain skeptical? Of course I do, and will remain skeptical. All the new candidates need to prove themselves worthy of America's trust. 47 had his chance; now it's time for others to take over. I'm liking Jon Ossoff and James Talarico for starters. And a huge thank-you to Bernie Sanders who has been preaching his message for most of his life. Much of what his faction of the Democratic Party stands for is summarized in the letter below, written by Mark NeJame.

It was enlightening to read the letter that this man, Mark NeJame, has written to his MAGA friends. According to his verified Facebook site, he is a renowned attorney, litigator, businessperson, legal expert, and philanthropist. He is not a politician. His letter is a decent, controlled, knowledgeable letter, written by a man who doesn't seem to be possessed by hatred. Many of his points resonated with me, and they are highlighted in bold print.

Mark NeJame

N͏o͏v͏e͏m͏b͏e͏r͏ ͏6͏ ͏a͏t͏ ͏7͏:͏4͏1͏ ͏P͏M͏

To my MAGA friends:

1. Sharia law is not coming to US. 

2. Democrats are not communists and we do not support communism.

3. The Socialist Democrats in the party are not supportive in any way of the governments such as Venezuela or Cuba. They do want expanded social services, for areas such as medical care and education, similar to Norway, Sweden, and Finland. We already have many forms of socialism, such as road building and repairs, street lights,  public education, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, etc. They want some of these expanded on.

4. The reason so many of us have attacked and challenged Trump and his acolytes is because we understand the Constitution and history. We believe he is a threat to democracy and our Constitution. He’s proven this time and time again.

5. That I and most others are capitalists , but ones with large social consciousness. We want health care and education for everyone, even those of you who need it most and vote against your family’s best interest.

6. We are not wanting to take your guns away. We simply want sane gun legislation that provides for maturity and knowledge for gun ownership.

7. We don’t want open borders. We want violent criminals removed. We do want a pathway though for the multitude of wonderful people wanting to make America their home. We also want the barbaric and non-compassionate treatment of non-violent immigrants to end. 

8. We are extremely patriotic.  We love America every bit as much as you claim to… most of us arguably more. We stand up for others who are marginalized and would otherwise be tossed by society. We believe that’s what love of America is about.

9. We will fight you on your culture wars. The Constitution provides equality for all. Women, people of color, Muslims, Jews, all religions, trans, LGBTQ community, and all should have equal rights and not be mocked or marginalized because you don’t agree with them.

10. Most of us agree that a male trans athlete who transitioned to being a female shouldn’t compete against biological women where strength and size matters. However, trans athletes shouldn’t be excluded from sports altogether and reasonable accommodations made so they can compete with those of their birth sex.

11. We think Trump is vile, criminal, bigoted, egomaniacal, self-serving, insecure, a liar, and profane. If our children behaved like him, we’d consider ourselves failures as parents. 

12. America is worse off because of him. Our world standing has plummeted. Our friends are now our adversaries. We are in bed with our enemies. Our debt is at record levels. Unaffordability is real.

There’s more but for those who name call, deny, and blame, I wanted to share some of my reasons that I have supported Democrats as I have.

Peace and hopes for a better tomorrow.
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My take on the midterm elections in the USA

2026-11-06T11:30:59.529+01:00

I wasn't sure what to expect before Election Day, but I know what I was hoping for. And as fate and the divine would have it, the Democrats won most of everything there was to win, bigtime. It's being called the 'blue wave' and the 'blue tsunami'. I was of course very happy with the outcome. My take on the elections is that most average ordinary Americans were fed up with being lied to, gaslighted, and forced to accept a version of reality that didn't align with their actual daily reality. They got tired of bad, crude, rude, aggressive, nasty, and vengeful behavior. They got tired of bigoted, white supremacist, misogynist leaders. Thank God.

Whatever it's called, I hope it results in real change down the road. I hope it leads to a new president whose goals are to really help the average American and to support the working class. I'm heartened by the number of younger people in politics now. There are simply too many elderly people in politics, hanging on by their thumbs to positions that rightfully should belong to the upcoming generation. Their tenacity is not admirable, it's selfish. I hope that the incoming politicians vote for the following:

term limits for political positions (no more than eight years)
age limits for political positions (age limit should be 72)
money out of politics (make it illegal for wealthy oligarchs to buy candidates)
universal healthcare for all citizens
more compassion toward illegal immigrants. Yes, they're in the country illegally, but if and when they're deported, treat them like human beings. Those who have made lives for themselves, who work and pay taxes, should be distinguished from those who do not. They should not all be treated the same way. Remember, the USA is a country defined by immigrants. We are a huge melting pot, for better or for worse. The Statue of Liberty says it best: “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
we do not want oligarchs and kings to rule us
focus on infrastructure--repair roads, bridges, and tunnels, and appropriate money for schools,
rebuild alliances with Europe and with NATO. Support Ukraine in its fight against the aggressor Russia (this does not mean sending American troops to fight)
end the (undeclared) war in Iran
undo the nonsense that the current president has foisted on the nation (changing names of bodies of water, messing with the Kennedy Center, etc.)

We need new, younger, fresher leadership. We need leaders who don't slap derogatory labels on people, who don't speak badly of their opponents, who are willing to meet the other side halfway, but who have the strength of their convictions to make the unpopular, morally-based choices. We need more ethical behavior in politics. We need leaders not motivated by greed and vengeance. We need moral visionaries to move the country forward.

Quotes about cowardice and complicity

2026-10-26T00:00:00.000+01:00

I think that cowardice and complicity often go hand in hand. If we accept injustice toward others and bullying of others in silence and do nothing to counter these behaviors, we are complicit in the behaviors via inaction. It's easy to look the other way, to excuse ourselves from taking a stand, out of cowardice and fear. Fear of retaliation, fear of getting involved, fear of having to take a stand, fear of sticking our heads 'above the radar', fear of stepping outside of our comfort zone and giving up a comfortable life generally. Complicity is fueled by moral laziness, as is cowardice. If we don't take a stand against injustice, we are complicit in that injustice and also cowardly for not taking a stand. But it's not easy to stand up for what is right and no one ever said it would be. There is a lot to lose. But living with yourself as the years go by becomes harder and harder, when you are faced with your moral laziness. I often think of the apostles who followed Jesus; they acted cowardly when he needed them to be there for him. We are more often like them than unlike them.

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The seven deadly sins should be updated. We should add an eighth sin: Cowardice.

--Gad Saad

Moral cowardice that keeps us from speaking our minds is as dangerous to this country as irresponsible talk.--Margaret Chase Smith

Alas, nothing reveals man the way war does. Nothing so accentuates in him the beauty and ugliness, the intelligence and foolishness, the brutishness and humanity, the courage and cowardice, the enigma. --Oriana Fallaci

Cowardice asks the question, is it safe? Expediency asks the question, is it politic? Vanity asks the question, is it popular? But conscience asks the question, is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but one must take it because it is right.--Martin Luther King, Jr.

The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.--Rollo May

Fear has its use but cowardice has none.--Mahatma Gandhi

To be silent is to be complicit.--Richard Edelman

If you're governor of a state, and you have nothing to say when the president attacks the people that you represent, you are complicit.--J. B. Pritzker

I learned about injustice young. That I had a duty to not be complicit, to not turn the other way.--Ashley Biden

While admiring the pleasing evidence of wealth, we become complicit in - or, at the very least, recognize the extent to which we, too, are beneficiaries of - an economic system we routinely deplore.--Geoff Dyer

Reminders that the world around us is not just chaos, aggression, and meanness

2026-10-25T17:16:11.444+01:00

Complainers

2026-10-24T17:52:17.849+02:00

I can relate to Goat in Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis. I so dislike that people complain and have no solutions to the problems they're complaining about. The reality is that some people just like to complain, to hear themselves talk. The worst thing about it is that they often manage to rile up everyone around them about the problem at hand, while they go on their merry way, as though they had never complained at all.

Taking a break from the world's insanity and inanity

2026-10-24T11:03:27.272+02:00

The current world situation is often unbearable to witness and to listen to. One gets tired of listening to the same hot-air clowns lecture the rest of us each day on some topic of little to no importance except to them. And they are clowns, make no mistake about it, except that their stupidity is a danger to us all.

How to deal with the malignant stupidity around us? Sometimes we need to take a break from it all. The insanity and the inanity of the world will be there when we get back from our break. But we need to prioritize our physical and mental health.

Kitbull--a little pearl of a film

2026-10-23T17:37:42.322+02:00

I discovered this short animated film from 2019 only recently, and I fell in love with it. Kitbull. Sad story but with a happy ending, just the kind of stories I like, especially in these times. These are the kinds of films children (and adults who need a crash course in how to behave) should watch, because they go a long way toward creating empathy. Thank you to the creators at Pixar who made this little film.

https://youtu.be/-hOYcTfEbGs?si=eGFwPLOpGX8iIxfC

Curiosity

2026-10-21T17:34:16.910+02:00

The word 'curiosity' makes me curious about the actual word. What is its derivation and what does it mean? Curiosity derives from the Latin cūriōsitās, from cūriōsus "careful, diligent, curious", akin to cura "care") (Wikipedia).

When we say that someone is curious, we usually mean that he or she is eager to know something about, to learn about, an object, person, or happening in his or her life. When we say that people have curiosity, we mean that they are interested in and invested in the life around them. They are eager to learn, to know, to explore, to experience. They want to know the whys and the hows involved in certain processes. They want to know why people behave in certain ways. They want to understand the meaning of this life, even though they know that this is the most difficult challenge of all. They don't shy away from the unknown; they investigate it and make it a part of themselves. They expand their inner lives, their spiritual lives, in order to do so.

Curiosity is held up as a positive thing as one gets older. There is a lot of talk about retaining one's enthusiasm for learning and for waking up each day wanting to experience all that the day has to offer. Curiosity provides a meaning and a purpose for a well-lived life, whether it means picking up a new book, finding a good film or tv series, going to a concert, discovering a new hobby (like gardening), trying a new recipe, finding a new travel destination, finding out how to be of service to others. The list is long.

I think curiosity is whatever 'sparks' you. It's what keeps you motivated and what gives you the desire to keep going. Because each day is different, unlike the one before, even though people who say they are bored say that all the days are alike. They aren't. Bored people are missing the opportunities that each day has to offer. There are a myriad of possibilities for things to do and experience in the course of a day. I think I learned this as a scientist; a scientist's job is to explore and to test the unknown. Rarely does a scientist start an experiment knowing what the outcome will be. Curiosity is part of being a scientist, and when I look back on my career, I am very glad that I chose to be a scientist. I may no longer work as one, but scientific curiosity is a huge part of who I am and is likely to remain so.

I can truthfully say that I am rarely, if ever, bored. There is simply too much to do and experience in this life, and I know that I will never experience all of the things I want to experience. I have a list of books that I want to read that is a mile long. Ditto for films. There are travel destinations I will never get to. I don't live my life anxious about any of this. I look forward to exploring a new city or country. I know that each day is something to look forward to, and I plan ahead in a realistic way. My brain enjoys multitasking; it can savor each new day and plan for a trip or a social event or meet-up with friends at the same time that I am making breakfast. I look forward to the planning and the trying-out of new experiences, and they can be as simple as making a new type of bread. I am grateful for life in all of the ways it presents itself.

Two really cool recent dreams

2026-10-17T12:42:55.304+02:00

Two of my recent dreams have fascinated me, if only because I have never dreamed like this before. Of course I was interested in their interpretations. I have been interested in dream interpretations since the early 2000s, when my friend Gisele introduced me to the writings of Edgar Cayce, a clairvoyant who examined the hidden meanings in dreams. Normally I dismiss such things since I am a born sceptic. But there was something about Cayce that intrigued me enough to not dismiss him as a quack.

My first dream took me back to college days and to a large party with many unknown people. My husband and I were there. As always in dreams, you are suddenly someplace else, and I ended up in a long hallway in one of the college buildings. I was in a seated (yoga-like) position, but not sitting on the ground. I was rather floating/gliding along the hallway. I remember looking at my hands, and there was light flashing from my fingers. The sense of amazement that I felt was tangible. I had no idea where I was headed, but the experience was very relaxing and not at all frightening. I searched online for an interpretation of this dream, and this is what was returned from the AI overview, which in and of itself is just as cool as the dream:

AI Overview

Dreams about gliding down a hallway while light flashes from your fingers are rich with symbolism, often pointing to a surge in personal power, transition, and spiritual or creative awakening.

Here is what these powerful dream symbols typically mean:

🌟 1. Light Flashing from Your Fingers (Manifestation and Power)

In dream psychology, hands and fingers represent your ability to manipulate your reality, create, and take action.

• Creative Energy: Flashing light suggests you have a powerful spark of inspiration or a breakthrough idea waiting to be expressed.

• Personal Power: You are realizing your own agency. It symbolizes a feeling of being "electrified" or capable of directing energy, solving problems, or bringing clarity to a situation.

• Spiritual Awakening: Light emanating from the body often represents heightened intuition, consciousness, or a deep alignment with your higher self.

2. Gliding Along a Hallway (Transition and Flow)

Hallways are classic symbols of transition, moving from one phase of life, mindset, or project to another.

• Effortless Progress: Walking suggests labor, but gliding implies that you are moving through a transitional period with grace, ease, and a sense of detachment from standard limitations.

• Lack of Grounding: Sometimes, gliding or floating indicates you are relying heavily on your intellect, spirit, or imagination, and might need to bring your focus back down to earth.

• Exploration of the Subconscious: Passing doors in a hallway can represent exploring hidden memories, untapped talents, or future opportunities.

🔄 Putting It Together

Your dream suggests that you are navigating a period of transition with immense creative energy and confidence. You aren't just walking through this phase of life; you are moving through it smoothly, carrying a powerful force of insight or creation right at your fingertips. You have the tools and the clarity within you to light your own path forward.

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The second dream was equally fascinating. I was standing in a large open field and there was an atom with orbitals (shells) floating near my head, Using my index finger, I was able to touch the orbitals, thereby distorting the circles. They were fluid-like, so that touching them with my finger induced waviness. I remember the amazement at being able to do that. I studied physics and quantum chemistry for one semester each in college. This picture of an atom with orbitals is about what I remember from both courses. It's safe to say that I do not understand either field.

The AI overview of this dream was quite intriguing. This was the answer I got:.

That is a fascinating and deeply visual dream! Dreaming about using your finger to distort atomic orbitals blends the subatomic world of quantum mechanics with a powerful sense of personal touch and manipulation.

In physics, atomic orbitals—like the sphere of an $s$ orbital or the figure-eight of a $p$ orbital—are not solid objects. They are mathematical probability clouds showing where an electron is likely to be.

Here is what your subconscious might be playing with in a dream like this:

🔬 The Symbolism of the Dream

• Bending Reality: Orbitals represent the fundamental building blocks of matter. Distorting them with a single finger suggests a subconscious desire for extreme control, influence, or creativity over your environment or a complex situation in your waking life.

• Making the Invisible Visible: Quantum mechanics is famously abstract and impossible to see with the naked eye. Your dream brought the microscopic world into the macroscopic realm, meaning you might be trying to grasp, visualize, or solve a highly abstract problem right now.

• The "Observer Effect" Made Literal: In quantum physics, the act of observing or interacting with a system changes its state. Your dream took this concept literally—your physical touch directly warped the quantum state of the atom.

🌌 Visualizing the Distortion

If you were to actually warp an orbital, you would be changing the energy states of the electrons. In a macro-world visualization, it might look like pulling and stretching a glowing, fluid-like cloud of neon light, forcing the electron probabilities to bunch up where your finger pushes, creating beautiful, irregular geometric ripples.

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So there you have it--two equally fascinating dreams with symbolism that is entirely new to me. Neither dream was unpleasant, rather, both intrigued me and made me curious about what they could mean. Of course, they could just reflect the abstractness of the workings of the mind, but in any case, I'd love to dream more about being able to glide along a hallway, to fly of my own accord (I've had dreams that I could fly since I was a child), and to change the course of direction with a single touch. Almost like magic.

Well-said

2026-10-13T14:31:59.376+02:00

I couldn't have said this better myself.......

Self-absorbed people

2026-10-11T00:00:00.000+02:00

Apropos my last post, I got to thinking about people who are very wrapped up in themselves, totally self-absorbed (narcissistic), oblivious really to the goings-on in others' lives. These are the kinds of people who rarely ask you how your day went, how your trip abroad was, what you think about this or that. They listen only superficially to what you have to say. And they are rarely able to show any sort of gratitude for a gift, advice, or moral support. They react casually to most things, dismissive almost. When you are together with them, you feel unimportant and excluded at the end of an evening together. Obviously these are not good friends or family members and it would be a mistake to think of them in that way. Mostly you can choose not to deal with them or to avoid them. But not always, for example, work situations where such people are your leaders and/or colleagues.

These people don't understand the meaning of generosity of spirit, of warmth, of kindness, or of civility. They don't understand themselves and their own needs, because if they did, they'd be warmer and kinder because they would want to be treated with warmth and kindness. Some of these kinds of people are just plain stupid; they lack the self-introspection that would allow them to see their own shortcomings. They're not interested in changing or acquiring an introspective spirit. These are people one can choose to avoid in personal and social situations; it's more difficult in work-related situations.

Choose wisely

2026-10-09T13:05:41.611+02:00

The FB page Buddhism has suddenly appeared in my feed. Normally I don't pay much attention to extraneous sites, but this one caught my eye because it feels 'real'. Or at least it presents truthful content to which I can relate. I especially like any content that advises you to walk away from toxic situations and/or people. Always a good reminder. There's no changing them and it's best to care about yourself in the sense of keeping your sanity and moral clarity. Someone asked me recently if you always choose to walk away from such situations or people, if that will lead to not caring about them at all. I answer no. You can always make the decision to care about toxic people, but you do not need to subject yourself to their toxicity. You can wish them well and go on about your own life, unencumbered by their negativity. And by negativity, I mean extreme negativity, the kind that demoralizes and immobilizes you. That type of negativity is soul-crushing and ultimately life-crushing.

The top 1% and wealth

2026-10-08T11:01:11.575+02:00

Another good one from my favorite cartoonist.

Food for thought.......

Why is it this way, and how did it get this way?

Visiting the Ramme Fjordhotel

2026-10-05T09:55:03.201+02:00

Our autumn trip this year took us to the Ramme Fjordhotel in Hvitsen, about a forty-minute drive from Oslo (Ramme Kulturdestinasjon og Fjordhotell | Unike Hoteller Hvitsten). Hvitsten is a small coastal village located on the Oslo fjord. We arrived mid-afternoon on a Friday and left around noontime on Sunday, so we had ample time to explore the grounds, which include a beautiful Baroque-style garden (Havlystparken), cafe and giftshop/farm shop that sells eggs and seasonal vegetables, restaurant/bar, and Edvard Munch's villa down by the water. The latter is a short walk from the hotel. As luck would have it, we had lovely weather the weekend we were there, conducive to walking around and exploring.

What impressed me most was the garden; it was one of the reasons I wanted to visit Ramme Fjordhotell. It was dotted here and there with intriguing sculptures, ponds and fountains, and lovely arrangements of flowers and trees. There was also a vegetable garden that had an entire patch devoted to the cultivation of asparagus. I finally got to see what full-grown asparagus plants look like (I've planted three in my own garden). They grow quite tall and feathery, and they spread out. I can't wait until mine look like the ones I saw in the Havlystparken. We've decided to visit the garden again in the spring when the many rhododendrons are blooming.

Some photos from the Havlystparken:

asparagus patch

Photos from my September NY trip

2026-09-27T21:02:02.491+02:00

Display in front of DeCicco and Sons in Tarrytown NY

Tarrytown lighthouse

harbor in Kingston NY

Kingston-Rhinecliff bridge

Esopus Meadows lighthouse

the Culinary Institute of America (CIA)

Burrito

Manhattan skyline at night

Statue of Liberty

statue near the Warwick Hotel

another statue near the Warwick Hotel

Hertz rental and PlatePass--not a good experience

2026-09-27T20:06:17.379+02:00

I normally rent a car via Hertz when I am in New York. For one thing, it's easy to pick up and drop off the rental car at the rental office in North White Plains. The office is located right across the street from the Harlem Line train station. I've been renting a car at this office for many years now, after I decided to stop picking up and dropping off the car at Newark airport. It became too stressful to drive from and to the airport and stressful to find the drop-off location at the airport.

My rental experience this time around was not completely problem-free as you'll soon see. A few days before I was to travel, I was informed in an email to pick up the car at the Westchester County Airport rather than the North White Plains office due to Labor Day (September 7), which meant that the North White Plains office would be closed for the holiday. This was fine except that I had to first take a train to White Plains and then take a cab to the Westchester County airport instead of just getting off a train at North White Plains and walking across the street to the rental office. This was an extra incurred cost of approximately $30. The service agent at the airport was friendly enough. I picked up the car in the parking lot and drove out, only to notice that the gas tank was 3/4 full, not full. I was already on the road by then, so I pulled over and took a photo of the gas tank indicator on the dashboard. I had already paid $67.46 for the Fuel Purchase option. When I returned the car on September 21 and talked to the agent at the North White Plains office about this, she told me to take it up with Billing. She was not very helpful. My definition of good service would have been that she could have deducted the price of ¼ of a tank of gas right then and there. But no.

The rental price for the car for two weeks, booked through Booking.com, was very reasonable. But lo and behold if I didn’t get a bill via an September 25th email for $475.86. This was the charge for using ‘Plate Pass’. This was the email message I received:

Hertz utilizes a service called PlatePass which allows its customers to use cashless lanes or all- electronic tollways without using a personal transponder or paying the toll authority directly. Our records indicate you declined the PlatePass All-Inclusive tolling option at the start of your rental, but during your rental you activated the transponder device affixed to the car windshield and incurred tolls. As a result, you owe the PlatePass All-Inclusive rate as applicable to your rental period. With PlatePass All-Inclusive, you will not be charged tolls and no additional charges will apply if new tolls are received from toll authorities relating to this rental agreement.

As far as I can remember, the Plate Pass was pulled out once during my two-week rental to pay for the toll going over the Tappan Zee Bridge, by a passenger in my car. Do you mean to tell me that I am to pay $475.86 for using the transponder once? Is this company insane? This is highway robbery and I am planning to report Hertz to the Better Business Bureau. Of course I will gladly pay all the tolls incurred during my two-week rental, but I am hoping that Booking.com will take this up with Hertz to get this charge dismissed. This is the craziest and greediest behavior I have ever experienced--pure unadulterated ripoff. The sad thing is that I have been renting via Hertz for many years. This is the first time that I have had problems with them or experienced poor customer service. It’s very unfortunate and does not bode well for future rentals with this company.

New York in my heart, for always

2026-09-27T17:38:14.230+02:00

My annual trip to New York this year started in Manhattan, where I met Cindy, a college friend, on the first weekend of September (5-6). We stayed at the Warwick Hotel in midtown, one of our favorite hotels in NYC. As luck would have it, the weather cooperated with our plans, which included a jazz cruise on the Hudson River (leaving from Chelsea Piers) and attending the musical Schmigadoon. The jazz cruise was quite enjoyable, and moving--especially when we drove past the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. This at a time in the USA when it doesn't seem that immigrants are particularly welcome anymore. I thought about my paternal grandparents who came from Italy in the early 1900s and who made a life for themselves, first in Brooklyn and then in Tarrytown, New York. They never returned to visit Italy, which must have been quite sad for both of them. Cindy and I also got tickets to see the musical Schmigadoon which spoofs on other musicals like Brigadoon and Oklahoma, but that is also quite touching in its own way. I can recommend both the cruise and the musical.

The following week included visits with my sister Renata and her husband Tim and their new dog--Burrito, as well as visits with good friends Maryann and Gordon from my Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center days, and with Stef, a good friend from childhood. The weekend of September 12-13 was spent with Judy, my good friend from high school, and her two sisters Betty and Joan. We drove up to Hyde Park, NY on Saturday to visit the Culinary Institute of America, where we ate a very good lunch and enjoyed a food tasting event and a tour of the institute. On Sunday, we managed to visit Springwood, Franklin D Roosevelt's summer home on the Hudson River, and Val-Kill, Eleanor Roosevelt's place of business and eventual home located a short distance away from Springwood, across the main road. Both are national historic sites. I've written about FDR's home before in a 2016 post: A New Yorker in Oslo: Making memories--two weeks in the States Visiting Val-Kill 'completed' the story of the Roosevelts for me. FDR and Eleanor were a good political team; their marriage endured a number of infidelities, but they supported and defended each other and had each other's backs. On Monday, the four of us took a 1.5 hour boat trip on the Hudson River that departed from Kingston, NY. We had lovely weather and managed to see the Esopus lighthouse as well as some Gilded Age estates along the Hudson River.

I then visited with Jola, another good friend from my Memorial Sloan-Kettering days, and we spent our time together talking, catching up, eating some good lunches and dinners, driving around Tarrytown, and visiting Untermyer Park and Gardens in Yonkers, NY, which I have written about before (A New Yorker in Oslo: Two gardens worth visiting--Untermyer Gardens and the New York Botanical Garden). And then I made my way to Jean's house (I call it my second home), where I always end my NY vacations. Jean and I go way back to high school; we have a lot of shared history and are very close friends. Maria, another close friend from childhood, came down for the four days I was there, and we hung out together, eating, talking up a storm (Jean calls it incessant gabbing), and having fun. We've settled on a visit to St. Augustine in Florida for this coming winter's annual trip. St. Augustine has history, culture, and relaxing beaches. Our trips together have become something to which we really look forward. The major consideration is the weather, so we are keeping our fingers crossed that snow and/or bitter cold won't throw any major wrenches into our plans.

Of course, no trip of mine would be complete without a snafu here or there! This time it was a major circuit break/cut in the cables that control the air traffic control grid for the NYC airports. All flights were cancelled at Newark, La Guardia, JFK, Teterboro, and Philadelphia airports on the afternoon of Monday September 21. My flight back to Oslo on SAS was cancelled, but SAS did manage to rebook me on a later flight (United) to Brussels (they worked quickly and efficiently to rebook me). Their hope was probably that by the time the plane left for Brussels (8:30 pm), that the circuit would have been fixed (it was). But nothing was certain and I booked a hotel room at Newark Airport just in case. A shout out to the Howard Johnson hotel at the airport for kindly refunding my money; they could have been sticklers for the regular routine of not allowing customers to cancel unless it was 24 hours prior to arrival. They made an exception for me and I thank them.

I'm also glad that I arrived and departed New York when I did. This weekend would have been a messy affair to put it mildly--storm, wind, rain, and flooding. A Nor'easter that traveled up the East Coast of the USA, wreaking a bit of havoc and leaving a real mess in its wake. A lot of rain and flooding as far as I can see from the news reports. There would have been no boat trips and very few outdoor activities had I been there this weekend. So the weather gods were with us earlier in September!

Although traveling can be tiring and sometimes unpredictable, I love it. I love the expectation of new adventures as well as the emotional constancy of visiting with close friends and family. I have said it before but I'll say it again--I am forever grateful for the wonderful friends who grace my life. I will continue to travel until I am no longer able to travel. It would have to be poor health only that would stop me from seeing those I love. In my next post, I'll include some photos of the places we visited on this trip.

Never forget

2026-09-24T23:42:39.666+02:00

I remember where I was on 9/11 in 2001. I remember a colleague running into my lab to tell me that there had been an attack on the World Trade Center in NYC. I was beside myself after hearing that news. I was not in the USA at that time, like I was this year. I’m glad I was in NY State this year to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the attacks on the Twin Towers. This video of the drones recreating the Twin Towers brings me to tears every time I watch it. It is incredibly beautiful and poignant.

https://youtube.com/shorts/2CDs-Vt9wUA?si=2192fUaX83YHpb_r

Rest in peace, Wendell Berry (1934-2026)

2026-09-06T00:00:00.000+02:00

More about Ad orientem

2026-09-01T11:06:45.867+02:00

I have looked further into the Ad orientem issue and understood that it has been quite controversial for quite some time. Apparently the Ad orientem format is traditionally preferred because it forces the congregation to focus on the actual celebration of the mass and not on the priest who is saying the mass. It is supposed to be more reverential. I had never thought about this before and in truth I've never particularly focused on the priest who says mass except when he steps into the pulpit to deliver his sermon.

I'm including some links in this post so that you can read more about it if you are so inclined.

Facing the People, or Facing the Altar? | Catholic Answers Magazine

Ad Orientem – Immaculate Conception Catholic Church

Why is Ad Orientem worship so controversial?

I retain my opinion--that I prefer the Versus Populum format of the liturgy, where the priest faces the congregation while saying mass. I understand that Ad orientem is the historical and long-practiced way of saying mass. It doesn't change my viewpoint.

If we are first going to choose tradition and take up this priestly orientation again in order to promote reverence and avoid distractions, then my suggestion is to go further and ban the use of guitars and all other musical instruments except the use of the organ in church. I would also ban the singing of modern songs/hymns and focus only on the time-honored traditional hymns that we grew up with (and that many people got tired of--not me). I would ban musical groups from performing in church at Easter and Christmastime. I would ban singing altogether with the exception of church choirs that sing only traditional church music. We did not have musical groups performing prior to Vatican II, so they are not necessary to the celebration of mass. Nor did we have liturgical dances on the altar (as was the case at times when I was a teenager). They are distractions. We have one Latin mass (the high mass) each week on Sundays here in Oslo at my church. If we are going backward in time, then all the masses should be celebrated in Latin as that is the language of the early church. Why focus on changing only one aspect of the mass?

It has become quite silly in my opinion to focus on changing only one thing--how the priest faces during the celebration. I have never focused on the priest except when he faces us to give his sermon, which we could also do without since most of the priests simply regurgitate the gospel that can speak for itself for the most part. We can return to my childhood days when my mother would attend weekday masses that were quiet, short, and without sermons, just the celebration of the mass. And while we're at it, remove most statues and the accompanying small chapels that honor the saints. These can also be distractions.

I realize that I sound quite harsh (some of what I write is of course a bit satirical). But if you are going to choose tradition, then go all the way and return the church to pre-Vatican II times. Streamline every aspect of the mass and boil it down to one predictable format. If that's what the Vatican thinks is going to draw in more of the faithful, then let them try. I'm not sure that the lack of attendance at mass has to do with these things. But I don't know. Perhaps there is a backlash against all things modern. For those of you who think that I am planning to leave the church, I am not. But I am voicing my right to have an opinion.

Time Passages--Al Stewart

2026-08-31T20:12:26.906+02:00

Time in a Bottle--Jim Croce

2026-08-31T20:11:22.935+02:00

This song was running through my mind today, as I thought about holding on to time. How quickly it flies by. "Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives"--the opening line to the soap opera Days of Our Lives, a soap opera that my mother used to watch a long time ago. The days of our lives are fleeting. They are like sand that we pick up in our hand, only to have the sand flow through our fingers. It's hard (for me) not to be melancholy at times about the passage of time. There's no stopping it or changing its format, so there's no point really in feeling sad about it, but nonetheless, I do sometimes.