A Peek at Karen's World

Hiatus

2013-06-17T10:54:00.002-07:00

Thank you all for the comments and emails in regards to my last post.

Things aren't better, I'm sorry to report, but I'm taking steps to fix that today.

I'm definitely going to be away from The Blog for a day or two, so try not to miss me too much.

Rest assured that I am taking care of myself and that everything should be fine in a few days. I'm surrounded by amazing and supportive friends and I'll get through this.

Thank you all for being awesome.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

This post has no title because my brain can't think of a good one.

2013-06-13T06:01:00.000-07:00

You know that feeling when you think everything's fine and then suddenly, you realize it isn't and it hasn't been for a long time and that you were just fooling yourself?

Yeah.

That happened to me the other day.

And, without warning, the little bit of depression I'd been feeling came back with a vengeance and knocked me right on my ass.

I can't talk about the situation here in this public forum. A million apologies for being annoyingly vague, because I know that sucks. But believe me when I say that writing about this here would only make the problem worse.

Besides, this post isn't really about that. It's about depression.

I am not even sure what I want to say about it. I've been stripped of the ability to put my thoughts into words. I spent half of yesterday staring at a blank screen because I couldn't figure out how to express this.

In the end, I basically just doodled in Paint and created a really lame illustration instead.

Pretty much sums it up.

I don't want to do anything. I just want to hide under the covers and avoid everyone and everything.

Or better yet...

I mean, there are worse things than getting hit by a bus, right?

(I'm not entirely sure because I've never been hit by a bus.)

(Although I was once run over by a Volkswagon Bus, but that's not exactly the same thing.)

Worse things. Like when people close to you lie.

Or when you are finally forced to accept the fact that if you disappeared tomorrow, the world would just keep spinning as if you never existed.

And while that's a depressing thought, it is somewhat comforting, too. Comforting to know that if something *did* happen to me, everyone I care about would be okay.

This will pass. It always does, eventually.

But for now, depression has a pretty tight grip. Please excuse me if I'm absent a lot over the next few weeks.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

The Summer of Karen Revisited

2013-06-11T02:00:00.000-07:00

A couple of years ago, I declared it the Summer of Karen.

It was the summer of a really awful break up and I needed to do something to get my mind off that failed relationship.

So I made a list. A Summer Bucket List, if that's what you want to call it.

And despite having some days and weeks of serious depression, I forced myself to get out there and enjoy the long, warm days. To be productive and to make some happy memories in spite of the bad ones.

By the end of the summer, I was feeling better. Not completely recovered, but functional. And in a much better place than I would have been had I spent the whole summer pining away for what might have been.

Anyway, long story short, I've decided that I need another Summer of Karen. To focus on enjoying the long days and my long weekends and finding reasons to smile again.

So, here goes, the Summer of Karen 2013:

Go to the AMPAS museum in Beverly Hills

Bonfire at the beach

Get a massage

Take a drive up the coast

Go to a movie or concert in the park

Decorate my office

Print and frame travel photos

Find my perfect summer song/soundtrack

Find my perfect summer outfit

Go camping

Read 10 books

There we have it.

It's gonna be a good summer.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Who doesn't like a deal?

2013-06-10T09:55:00.005-07:00

I had 51 missed calls when I walked into my office this morning.

And I think I pulled a muscle in somewhere in my abdomen. Which is better than last night when I started to convince myself I had appendicitis with my appendix on the wrong side of my body.

I feel a little sick and a lot tired.

And, to top it all off, we think there is a dead mouse hiding somewhere in my co-workers' office.

(That is not a misplaced apostrophe. I have two co-workers. They share an office.)

So, I hope your Monday is at least as awesome as mine. Though, really, I hope yours is MORE awesome because today already kind of sucks and all I want to do is go back to bed, pull the covers up over my head and not come out until Friday.

Anyway, sorry that I totally turned this into a whiny Monday post when that wasn't my intention AT ALL.

Instead, I wanted to talk about some good things.

Like, moving forward with The Blog.

Many of you know that I am spending four weeks in Honduras this winter volunteering with Honduras Child Alliance. I am super duper excited about this adventure and can't wait to get there and have some fun while doing some good for a little tiny corner of the world.

Of course, trips like this aren't free and I am definitely not rich by any stretch of the imagination.

So I've decided that, in order to raise some extra funds, I'm going to get more serious about advertising here in my world.

Are you trying to build up your blog?

Do you have an Etsy store or a home-based business you'd like to promote?

Selling a book, a product, or a service?

Blog advertising is a GREAT way to go because there is a chance to be seen by so many eyes across the internet.

And here at A Peek at Karen's World, there are hundreds of visits per day from all over the place. Hundreds of visitors that might just be interested in YOU.

For now, there are three different ad sizes to get you started:

Large: 200X300

Medium: 200X200

Small: 125X125

The ads will run for 30 days at a time, right over in the top of my side bar. This is premium blog space, yo.

And, the first 5 sponsors get 25% off any size ad by using the promo code: KARENSWORLD.

AND, all sponsors will be featured in a post right here on The Blog, too.

It's super easy, plus you're helping support a great cause. Just click here to go to my advertising page and find the links.

Any questions?

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Karen's Blog of the Week: Untypically Jia!

2013-06-08T12:36:00.001-07:00

I've been having a harder time keeping up with this feature than I thought I would.

There are so many blogs I really want to feature, but when it comes to the weekends, I just don't have the mental energy to think about blogging.

I really don't today, either, but I'm forcing myself because it's been, like, over a month already and I'm trying to do better. Really, I am.

The truth is, I've been doing everything I can think of to stave off another major bout of depression, and that's why I chose this week's featured blog:

Untypically Jia!

Jia is awesome. I mean, if the pink hair didn't already give away that fact.

She also deals with depression and anxiety, and a bunch of other health issues that would just make me want to cry if I had to face them. But she handles it all with her awesome personality and that winning smile.

Jia's blog is funny, sometimes heart-wrenching, but always relevant and inspiring. I love it and I know you will too. So please go over and say hello!

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

June is off to a good start...Maybe

2013-06-05T08:25:00.001-07:00

Another month has come and gone.

May felt really long, though. I haven't been wondering where the time went. Instead, I've been wishing it would go faster.

Just a little bit.

But, that doesn't in any way imply that I had a perfect month of goal reaching. Because, of course, I didn't. But that's okay. It's about the process.

May Goals

☺Go gluten-free for the whole month. (I'm playing a hunch here, and I'll explain more tomorrow.)--SUCCESS!
☺Start a half-marathon training program for the Tinkerbell Half in January. FAIL--But I DID start looking at programs, so that has to count for something...
☺Go to the (ugh) dance this weekend. SUCCESS
☺Go on a date. A real, actual date. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
☺Start the garden. NOPE
☺Attend graduation.
☺Finalize super secret travel plans.--They're finalized. Now I just have to buy my plane ticket.
☺Finish that manuscript! (Soooo close!) GRRR. No.
☺Go to an Angels game. (Preferably one where they win.) TWO!
☺Hold Marly's adorable baby boy. HE'S PERFECT.

June Goals
∞ Write my Summer Bucket List.
∞ Hang out with The Nephew.
∞ Finish watching Breaking Bad.
∞ Try one new GF recipe per week.
∞ Submit a post for syndication.
∞ Read 4 books.
∞ Clean my office.
∞ Clean my bedroom.
∞ Wash and vacuum the car twice.

Want to play along? Come on. You know you do....Here's how:

1. Follow all three hosts:

My So-Called Chaos

A Peek at Karen's World

Jennee Thompson

2. Write up your post re-capping last month and sharing your new goals for the next month.

3. Include our button on your post.

4. Add your post to the monthly linky.

5. Visit other participants to cheer them on/commiserate/whatever the case may be.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Karen's Tips for Surviving Summer Wedding Season

2013-06-04T10:21:00.000-07:00

Despite the fact that I used to have a plan the biggest, most princess-y wedding EVER, I am not a fan of weddings.

I have no problem with people getting married. In fact, I LOVE when people get married. I think it's wonderful and happy and exciting.

(Most of the time.)

I don't hate the bride. I don't hate the groom. I don't want them to be miserable or anything.

I just don't want to go to the wedding.

I love getting invited to weddings.

I do.

But it's the going to the wedding part that I don't particularly care for.

Sometimes, though, they're unavoidable. Like when it's a relative or one of your close friends, or someone tracks you down to make sure you get a personal invitation.

An invitation that I ALWAYS appreciate.

But that doesn't change the fact that I just don't want to get all dressed up and sit in a room full of strangers and gush about center pieces and how great the chicken is and aren't they just the cutest couple.

It's that whole social awkwardness thing that some people seem to believe I don't have.

(At my own brother's wedding, I spent half the night hiding in the bathroom, and the other half hanging out on the deck with drunk relatives.)

(And that was a wedding where I actually had fun.)

In the past two weeks, I've been to two weddings. Both were lovely and the couples are very happy and I'm sure their special days were very special for them. I even managed to have a decent time. Because I employed some very simple strategies that make it possible to survive just about any reception.

And I'm sharing them with you today.

Tip #1

Don't show up.

The bride and/or groom THINK they're going to care who came to the ceremony and who didn't, but the truth is, they will be so full of wedded bliss details and busy-ness that they probably won't even notice that you weren't there.

This, however, does NOT work with parents' second marriages. Apparently...

Tip #2

Be a Stage 3 Clinger.

Stage 5 is really going too far. But find someone you know, or at least someone who doesn't smell weird, and become their bestie for the duration. Chances are, they'll be glad for the company too.

But, seriously. Stage THREE. Not FIVE. Let them go to the food table and the bathroom by themselves. Otherwise, they will probably try to ditch you, which will make things even more awkward. Or so I've heard.

Tip #3

Practice the subtle art of avoidance.

If someone asks when you're going to get married, or worse, tries to console you with promises that your turn will come, pretend you're about to throw up and run for the nearest rest room. Works every time.

Allegedly.

Tip #4

Leave early.

An addendum to Tip #1. The bride and groom will be so involved with staring into each other's starry eyes that they aren't going to notice what time you left. Although, some of the aunts and uncles might have a thing or two to say about it.

This really works best for afternoon services ("Can you believe I have another wedding to get to?") or receptions with an open bar because then no one even knows what time it IS, and you can later insist that OF COURSE you stayed til the end. Who do they think took all the bird seed out of Uncle Chester's toupee?

Tip #5

Just go with it. Sure, weddings can be a miserable experience. But they can also be fun if you decide you're just going to let go and have a good time. It's really all up to your attitude.

And the food. The food is very important.When will Utah brides finally figure this out?

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Dear Netflix, Please complete me.

2013-05-30T15:20:00.000-07:00

For the past week, I've been pretty much completely obsessed with this show:

It's a show I always meant to watch when it was on, but I just never got around to it. Mostly because I could never remember when it was on.

My Facebook wall has been filled in recent weeks with the countdowns of enthusiastic friends who were excited for the new season that would be released exclusively on Netflix. Because Netflix bought the rights to produce new episodes.

Since my friends were all excited about it, I figured it was a good time to start watching from the beginning. So I started last Thursday. And finished the final episode today.

And you know what? I love it. Absolutely LOVE IT.

I really wish I'd watched the show years ago.

And those new episodes from Netflix? Fantastic. Brilliant and funny and a great way to bring some closure to fans of the Bluth family.

I have no idea what the numbers look like, but if my Facebook wall is any indication, this Netflix grand experiment has been somewhat of a success.

Which is how I got to thinking of some other great series for Netflix to resurrect.

Wonderfalls

A delightfully quirky show about a girl who works in a Niagara Falls gift shop and helps change peoples' lives by following the clues she gets from toy animals. It's hard to explain, but really fun.

Pushing Daisies

The (also delightfully quirky) story of a pie maker who can bring the dead back to life with a touch, and who brings back his childhood love, only to realize he can never touch her again. One of my favorite cancelled shows EVER.

Flash Forward

This somewhat strange drama that follows the aftermath of a global phenomenon in which the entire world blacks out and sees visions of themselves six months in the future. And one cop tries to find out why. It was awesome and left off on a HUGE cliffhanger.

The Nine

Nine people are held hostage inside a bank when it is robbed. Fifty-two hours later, they are released. Only the nine know what really happened inside. They cancelled it before we could find out who was behind the robbery in the first place.

Firefly

Was there any doubt that this, one of my favorite series of all time, would be included in a list of shows to bring back to life? It's a western. Set 500 years in the future. And it's completely awesome. I want more.

So...what shows would be on your list?

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Let the Summer Reading Begin with a Giveaway!

2013-05-23T12:42:00.001-07:00

Photo credit.

Today's the last day of school for us here at The College.

Finally, the lazy days of summer can begin. Days of streaming Netflix movies and wearing flip flops to work and having Fridays off and reading for hours on end.

I love summer. It really is my favorite time of year. For so many reasons.

And to celebrate this, the last day of school, I'm having a little giveaway.

It's nothing super fancy because I'm broke, but it's still a little something to get you started on that summer book list. All the entry info is listed below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

"I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?"

2013-05-22T08:57:00.003-07:00

Name that movie!

I've been kind of overwhelmed with some big work projects, so I don't have the brain power to finish the post I've been working on.

But I just had to share this, for those of you who haven't seen it yet. HILARIOUS. And totally adorable.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Are you an Influenster?

2013-05-20T09:31:00.000-07:00

I started hearing about Influenster ages and ages ago. When a friend offered me an invitation, I took it, not really knowing what I was getting into, but understanding that I was going to have the chance to get some free stuff.

And who doesn't like free stuff, amiright?

Influenster is a community that connects trendsetters with brands, basically.

You get an invitation, you sign up for free, connect all your social networks, start showing off your areas of expertise, and get qualified to test out all kinds of products.

After I joined Influenster, it was months before I qualified for anything. The first thing I got was the Holiday Vox Box back in December, which came with some fun goodies like Kiss Nail Art, an awesome half-round brush from Goodie, some really yummy oatmeal, and a few other things.

I tried the stuff out, but I never really shared much on Facebook or Instagram or The Blog about it, because I just wasn't really sure what to say or do.

When I filled out the post-box survey a month later, I quickly realized that I really should have been blogging the heck out of the awesome stuff I'd gotten. Missed opportunity. I figured I wasn't going to get anywhere with Influenster now after dropping the ball.

But then I was invited to participate in a weekly Twitter party talking about The Taste on ABC. Participants had the chance to win all sorts of prizes. I didn't win anything, but it was fun to get more involved and learn more about how to really interact in this whole Influenster world.

And then I got a really, REALLY awesome invitation. All I had to do was drive fifteen minutes to one of the area malls, visit the Sony Store, and find their super cute little round bluetooth speaker, take a picture of it, check myself in, and have a chance to win one of those cute little speakers.

It arrived in the mail several weeks later and is one of the coolest things EVER. It's amazing how so much sound can come out of something barely bigger than a golf ball.

And while the Sony bluetooth speaker is the best thing that's come my way, the Influenster awesomeness didn't stop there.

A couple of weeks ago, I randomly received a couple of bottles of Palmolive dish soap to try out. One for me, and one to share with a friend.

And then last week, I got the Spring Vox Box with some more cool things to try out. ImPress Nails, and OsIs Dust In powder, and NYC Color Lip Gloss and Secret Deodorant and a TastyKake, which I couldn't eat but my roommate thoroughly enjoyed.

Influenster is cool. Really, really cool.

You have to be active over there to really get the perks. Instagramming and Facebooking and Twittering are all a big part of it. But when you do those things, you get the free schtuff and it's totally worth it.

Sadly, I don't have any invitations to send out right now, because I already distributed all of mine and am waiting for more.

BUT, you can go over to the Influenster website and request an invitation. Be sure to tell them Karen sent you.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Dear Gluten: The trial separation is over. I want a divorce.

2013-05-16T08:13:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago, I made the decision to give up gluten for the month of May to try to get to the bottom of this constant exhaustion and general feeling of ickiness that I've had for a couple of...oh, I don't know, decades.

It took approximately five minutes to determine that gluten was, indeed, the culprit.

Okay, okay, it was probably more like a day and a half, but still. The results were pretty immediate.

I had more energy. Like, I stopped fighting to stay awake on the way to work in the mornings.

The perma-bags under my eyes started to disappear.

I used to get headaches fairly regularly. Instead of getting them checked out, I just assumed that's how it was now. But they're gone.

Even some personal issues--the details of which I'll spare my male readers--have been so much easier to deal with. Especially considering I didn't even realize there was a problem.

Basically? I feel awesome.

More awesome than I dared imagine or hope I could feel.

Honestly, I thought I was just doomed to be a tired, bedraggled, slightly grouchy version of myself forever.

But two weeks in and I am sold.

The conclusion I've reached is that gluten was trying to kill me.

I thought it would be so hard to give up things I love. Things like bread and cereal and cookies and pizza and Chinese food and a million other things that you wouldn't even think of but that my body hates more than Angels fans hate the Red Sox.

But then something weird happened.

When I discovered how much better I felt and how fast I felt it, giving up that stuff that wasn't good for me anyway became SO easy.

Sure, I see a cookie and think, "Bummer, I can't have that." But it's easy to walk away. Because I know if I eat that cookie, my guts will rebel and I'll regret ever even hearing the word cookie.

That's not to say it's all been smooth sailing.

On Saturday, I was at a Miche party at Katie's house and the croissants just looked SO good. But I paid for that indiscretion later.

Plus, this whole gluten-free thing requires planning. And very, VERY careful reading of ingredient lists and menus.

It's been a learning experience.

And what I've learned is that there is gluten in just about everything normal.

Wanting to stay away from it is one thing.

Actually being able to is an entirely different matter.

The first night of my gluten-free life, I was at a grocery store, eyes wide, searching desperately for something, ANYTHING I could eat that didn't have the consistency of cardboard. I found a couple of things, but couldn't shake the dejected feeling that this was going to be very, very difficult.

The next trip to the store was a little easier, but still frustrating when I discovered that the gluten-free section was very small and that EVERYTHING costs $5. Bread? Five bucks. Quinoa pasta? Five dollars. A tiny package of gluten-free cookies that resemble Oreos? Cinqo. Every single thing in the gluten free section was literally five dollars. It was weird.

And none of it looked that appetizing.

But I cheered myself with the fact that chocolate is gluten-free. And so is Dr. Pepper. And rice and potatoes, and meat and fruit and vegetables. I can eat ALL SORTS OF THINGS without getting sick.

And some of it is actually good for me too.

So, bonus, I've lost a couple of pounds without even trying.

And without even avoiding chocolate.

In other words, a diet that gives me energy for the first time ever, and makes me feel better, and helps me lose weight, and lets me eat chocolate? I'm sold.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Single Infertile Female, the Book

2013-05-15T09:41:00.001-07:00

“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage.” That’s how the story goes, right? We all grow up hearing the same fairy tales, and imagining the same futures. But what happens when the future you have always pictured for yourself, is ripped away before you ever even get the chance to pursue it? Single Infertile Female tells the story of a girl, still young and looking for love, who is hit with a medical diagnosis that threatens to destroy the future she always believed she would have. Faced with a choice between now or never, she has to decide if love and marriage should always have to come first. And if they don’t, can you still keep looking for them, even while actively pursuing that baby in the baby carriage?

As soon as I heard Leah Campbell was going to be releasing her book, I knew I'd snatch up a copy immediately. So when she offered to send me one in exchange for a review, I couldn't possibly say no.

Single Infertile Female is Leah's story. On her blog, she has chronicled her journey through infertility, and the book takes you even deeper into her difficult and painful struggle. What makes this story unique is that she battled endometriosis, infertility, and IVF without a partner by her side.

Because I've followed Single Infertile Female--the blog--for years, I wasn't sure what to expect from the book. Would it be just a collection of her best posts? Or something more?

While many of the experiences she shares in the book have already been written about on the blog, there is a greater depth and a continuity to the book. You really get to understand the whole picture of what she's been dealing with for the past several years and everything she has put herself through in her quest to be a mother. Not just physically and financially, but emotionally, too. She takes the reader through her mental process and you get the chance to really understand the choices she made and the reasons behind them.

The last third or so of the book deals with the aftermath of her two failed IVF cycles. Some have criticized this last section of the book as having nothing to do with infertility and only being about some dumb boy. But I think it has everything to do with Leah's infertility and how she tried to cope with her grief by launching herself into an unhealthy relationship that was all wrong from the start. While couples have each other to lean on or fight with during the process, Leah had only herself. It's this perspective that sets Leah's story apart from the many, many tales of infertility out there.

I can wholeheartedly recommend Single Infertile Female. Honestly. Whether you've read the blog or not, this story is powerful and important. It's an honest and well-written page-turner that will leave you wanting more, even if you already know about the miraculous ending that didn't quite make it into the book.

Single Infertile Female is available through Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

I know I'm not a mother. Please quit trying to convince me otherwise.

2013-05-13T08:14:00.002-07:00

As far as I can remember, I've never had a baby.

Never nursed a sick child all night, or changed a million diapers in a single day, or had the swell of emotion and pride the moment a little one first said "mama."

And I accept that.

Do I wish it was different? Of course.

Do I hope one day to be a mother? Absolutely. Whether my own or by adoption, or however it needs to happen, one of the deepest desires of my heart is to be someone's mom.

But that's not my life right now.

Which is why I get frustrated every year at church when Mother's Day rolls around and they give gifts to all the women over 18 who are "mothers in some way."

It didn't used to be that way. They used to actually single out the mothers, which made the non-moms feel incredibly left out and unimportant and I get that. I'm glad they actually include everyone now.

But we are not all mothers in some way and I wish They would stop saying otherwise.

I'm an aunt. (Even if my only nephew rarely actually calls me "aunt.")

I'm a teacher.

I'm a friend.

I'm a lot of things to a lot of kids and I love them dearly.

Some I probably couldn't love more if they actually were my own.

But they aren't mine. They will never be mine. No matter how much influence I may have in their lives or in who they will become, none of those precious children look at me as a second (or third or fourth or fifth) mother. They see me for what I am. An aunt. A teacher. A friend.

And instead of trying to ease my sad heart by telling me I'm a mother in some way, I'd much rather celebrate all the things I am. The person those kids know me to be.

It may not be the realization of all of my hopes and dreams, but it's reality. It's who I am. For now, anyway. I love being an aunt. I love being a teacher and a friend. There's no need to diminish those important roles by treating them like they aren't enough.

Because they are.

For now.

But keep the chocolate coming. Because aunts like chocolate too.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

"That's my purse! I don't know you!"

2013-05-10T02:00:00.000-07:00

The other night, I was hanging out with my dear friends Aaron and Marly.

Marly brought up the recent statements I've made here on the blog about being socially awkward.

"You're not awkward at all," she assured me.

I tried to convince her otherwise, but she was not to be dissuaded and kept maintaining that I am not an awkward person, that I'm social and comfortable in front of groups and all that.

But, as I pointed out to her, there's a big difference between getting up in front of a crowd that expects me to be in charge, and interacting with a group of strangers that already know each other.

I'm pretty sure she's still convinced I'm not as awkward as I claim, but then later that night happened and I wished she could have been there to witness it.

I was at the grocery store. Checking out at the self check-out so that I wouldn't have to talk to a chatty cashier about my odd collection of purchases.

(Gluten-free Rice Krispies, Ben and Jerry's, feminine hygiene products...)

(Because I can't write a post about being socially awkward without actually being socially awkward.)

The register was just spitting out my receipt when I felt someone watching me. I turned around and saw a guy next to the Red Box. He smiled at me. I grabbed my bag and ran out the door before he could grab me and throw me in the back of a van.

It wasn't until I was safely locked inside my car and driving away that it occurred to me that he was just being nice, and was not an axe murderer.

Sometimes, social interaction is really baffling.

Anyway, when I told the story to my friend Jennifer, she said it reminded her of this episode of King of the Hill. So I watched this clip and I AM TOTALLY BOBBY.

I may not ever get married, but at least I won't be chained up in some guy's basement either.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

I'm spending Christmas on a beach in Honduras.

2013-05-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about wanting to spend my Christmas break volunteering in another country.

I didn't know where to go or what to do, mostly because so many volunteer organizations cost boat loads of money that I don't have.

And then I read Adam Shepard's One Year Lived. The one where Adam Shepard goes on a trip around the world and talks about his adventures?

Well, in the book, he writes extensively about volunteering for two months for an organization called Honduras Child Alliance.

As I read about his experiences in El Porvenir, Honduras, I thought, This sounds like exactly what I've been looking for.

But there was a little bit of a snag.

You see, they usually require a minimum of six weeks from volunteers, especially at that time of year because it's when the kids are on their school break and the group runs, essentially, summer camps.

The website DID mention that they are sometimes able to work with shorter schedules, though, and since my availability is very definitely maxed at four weeks, this news was a relief. So I submitted an application and got a response the next day from the director. She wanted to set up an interview via Skype.

So a couple of days later, we talked and she asked me some questions about myself and my experience and she told me a little more about what they do and the types of projects and how a lot of the volunteers spend New Year's Eve on an island in the Caribbean, which just sounds like such a big sacrifice. I think I'm up to the challenge.

At the end of the interview, she sent me a form and asked me to have it completed and sent in by three references, so I immediately texted three friends that could vouch for my awesomeness and they all agreed to help me out right away.

I knew it was going to work out. I mean, the director had mentioned the possibility of using my tutor training experience to put together a workshop for the volunteers, and we had pretty much mapped out what my four weeks would look like. In my heart, I just knew this was going to happen.

So I called my mom to tell her--

(Headline: She wasn't thrilled.)

--And then I posted it on Facebook. And started telling practically everyone who would listen, and even a few who wouldn't.

But I was hesitant to talk about it here because there was still the possibility that I wouldn't be selected.

Then the email came and it was all official.

So...yeah. I'm heading to Honduras about six hours after our fall semester ends, and staying for four weeks, coming back two days before the spring term.

And I couldn't be more excited.

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Singles Dance: The Mormon Equivalent of Bar-Hopping, Without the Getting Drunk.

2013-05-07T04:00:00.000-07:00

It is a truth universally acknowledged that all single, Mormon, 30-somethings must be in want of a dance.

Honestly, I will never understand why it is that every activities committee in the Mormon singles world seems to think the only good way to get people together is to organize a dance.

I didn't like them when I was 16, and I don't like them any better at 36.

There are multiple problems with the whole Dance thing.

For one, there is the simple fact that some people simply don't like to dance in public. I mean, they aren't necessarily Elaine Benes or anything, but they just don't feel comfortable showing off their awesome moves in the company of strangers.

GIFSoup

For another, there is always a disproportionate number of men to women. ALWAYS. And when you account for all the creepers and the ones with bad breath or BO, the ratio gets even more lopsided. SOME people don't want to get stuck with the weird guy, even if he IS the only one who will talk to us--er, them.

Nevertheless, we are Mormon and we are single, therefore, we must dance. I'm pretty sure Brigham Young said that in his first General Conference Address.

So, it was with this winning attitude and charming demeanor that I agreed to go to the Orange County singles' dance this past Saturday. My roommate's band was playing in the Listening Lounge and the thing was being hosted in my own town, so I felt like I should just show up and see what happened.

But by Saturday morning, I had myself worked up into such a ball of anxiety that I was ready to skip it. In fact, when Laura got home from work that afternoon, I told her I wasn't going and she told me I was. So I popped an Ativan, got myself dressed and fretted some more.

Just as we were leaving, my married friend Rebecca made a joke about going with me. I jumped on it, telling her I needed a "chaperon." Still a bundle of nerves, I downed a quick Xanax to go along with the slow acting Ativan and headed out the door to pick up Rebecca.

We arrived before the crowd. Which was just...awesome.

Laura's band was setting up, so we sat and chatted with the wife of one of the band mates. But when they still hadn't started playing a few minutes later, Rebecca and I decided to wander around and see what else was happening.

There were a few ~~old~~ people on the main dance floor. Everyone was technically welcome there, but it was really intended for the over 50 crowd. And since none of them looked like geriatric billionaires, I quickly moved on to the mid-singles (30-45ish) dance floor where exactly three people were dancing.

I had no intention of being one of them.

That was when we wandered into the karaoke room.

Oh, that was the place.

Spoiler alert: I did not sing. Sorry.

But we watched. We watched the tone deaf lady with all the rhythm of Oprah Winfrey as she tried her best to belt out some great songs. And we watched the guy who thought he was awesome and trying to impress the empty room. There was also the lady dressed in this weird vinyl dress who was quite obviously determined to snag herself a man before the night was out. And we watched one guy who was having a great old time, laughing at himself, and actually had a pretty decent voice.

But that was it.

There wasn't much mingling. Pretty much everyone only talked to people they already knew. Or they talked to Rebecca, probably because she was wearing a wedding ring and was, therefore, "safe." And also because she was friendly and chatting people up.

Even on way too many anti-anxiety meds, I could not bring myself to be as social as she.

That's not to say that I was a grouch the entire time. In fact, other than my determined refusal to sing karaoke or dance, I think I had a fairly not awful attitude most of the evening.

But it was still a dance. And I'm very socially awkward. And I really think there is nothing that will ever make me want to go to one of these things willingly.

I haven't had fun at a church dance since I was 17 and my friend Lisa and I were the last of our age group stuck at the end of the year dance waiting for our younger siblings to be ready to leave. Devoid of dance partners our own age or height, we picked up folding chairs and spun ourselves around the gym like it was the best dance of our lives.

And at every dance I've been to since, I would much rather have danced with a folding chair than find myself standing awkwardly against the wall because I couldn't bring myself to speak to strangers and my friends had all been snatched away by eager singles seeking partners.

I've never been the girl that gets snatched up.

Which is fine.

Except for that persistent feeling that this just isn't the setting for me.

If I am to meet my hypothetical future husband at a church dance, it will only be because he happens into the wrong restroom and finds me hiding from any and all social interaction.

Can't we just all go bowling?

Or to a baseball game?

Or watch paint dry?

Why does it HAVE to be a dance?

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

"I promise you dis, dat, and de other ting."

2013-05-06T08:32:00.002-07:00

If you can guess where THAT quote is from, you get to be King or Queen of my world for an entire WEEK.

(No fair googling it, either.)

Anyway, I thought I'd just share a few random thoughts with you this beautiful, rainy morning...

• I can't wait until plans are finalized so that I can finally share where I'm traveling and why. My Facebook friends already know, but I don't want to commit it to the blog until it's really, for real official.

• I heard Mariah Carey's new single, "Beautiful," this morning. I hate it.

• It's only been five days, but I swear I feel a million...er, maybe just a thousand times better now that I've gone gluten-free. Better enough that I'm pretty sure gluten was my problem all along.

• That said, going gluten-free is not easy and I'm going to write a whiny post about it this week.

• I wonder how many people that think they're excited to see The Great Gatsby this weekend are going to be disappointed. I mean, I'm super excited about it, but I understand Baz Luhrman and love his films. And they are definitely not for everyone.

• The Angels continue to disappoint me, but I am not giving up on them.

• I went to a singles' dance this weekend. Look for a post on that adventure this week, too...

• Did you hear about that limo fire Saturday night with the girls going to a bachelorette party? So sad. I can't even imagine what that fiancé is going through right now.

• I hope the Jodi Arias jury finishes deliberating today and that she gets what she deserves. She's a bad seed.

• I think I'm going to color my hair pink again. I really loved it and kind of miss it.

• I'm going to start learning Spanish and I'm super excited.

• Last night (or this morning) I couldn't sleep, so I turned on the TV. Cloak and Dagger was on. Have you ever seen it? Totally cheesy, but I loved it when I was a kid and it was just as fun at midnight.

• Functioning is going to be really interesting today since I had a total of...about...maybe three hours of sleep last night. And I'm supposed to be going to a DVD release party and screening tonight. Long. Day.

• What's on your mind??

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

I have a brain cloud.

2013-05-02T02:00:00.000-07:00

BONUS POINTS if you can NAME THAT MOVIE.

I'm tired, y'all.

Exhausted.

Sometimes beyond sanity and beyond all reason.

This isn't a recent development, either. I've been tired for years. In fact, feeling wide awake and completely alert is such a rare experience that it becomes noteworthy whenever it actually happens.

I've been to doctors. Three or four, in fact. And each of them has run all the standard tests.

No, I'm not anemic. Usually.

Nope. Not diabetic. Not even a little bit, which is actually sort of a miracle with the amount of crap I eat.

And my thyroid? Works like a champ.

I don't have any elevated anythings that would signify a need to check for cancer or autoimmune disorders.

I've gotten healthy with diet and exercise, but that mythical extra boost of energy never manifests itself.

I can sleep for hours and hours and hours and still be tired and ready to go back to sleep. And not in a "I slept too much and now I'm groggy way." I mean, it's like I never slept at all.

Sometimes I literally feel like I haven't actually slept in YEARS.

Then there's the anxiety and depression that have been steadily worsening over the past three or four years.

And the night sweats.

And the hot flashes.

(No, I'm not menopausal.)

And there's that constant feeling like my brain is stumbling through fog, trying to put together coherent thoughts.

When Marly went gluten-free a couple of years ago, she said her exhaustion and mental fuzziness went away quickly. I was skeptical. That couldn't really be my problem, could it? I mean, gluten-free dieting is one of those fad things that will just die out and go back to belonging solely to Celiac patients. Right?

Except that the problem has gotten steadily worse.

Last week, I had one of those rare days when I was met with an unexpected burst of energy.

The weird thing was, I hadn't even eaten anything yet that day. And it was the middle of the afternoon. I should have been slower than a slug.

A day or two later, I was feeling all right. Nothing noteworthy. And then I ate a peanut butter sandwich. And I was really hungry, so I ate another one.

And was almost immediately exhausted beyond belief.

Which is when that little voice in my head whispered what I'd long tried to ignore.

The time had finally come to check into this whole gluten-free thing.

With a sigh, I went online and found a self-assessment quiz thing where they list, like, 30 or so symptoms and you mark the ones that you have. I only marked about 12, so not even half. Which I assumed meant I was maybe on the borderline, but not quite there.

Except that this particular website suggested getting officially tested if you marked more than 4.

FOUR.

Crap.

So, naturally, I looked for another online quiz to prove that first one wrong. I mean, what do those quacks at the Mayo Clinic know, anyway?

But, after a second assessment, Dr. Oz gave me the same result. And we all know Dr. Oz knows what he's talking about.

I decided to call my own doctor and schedule a blood test. Because there is NO WAY I'm giving up chocolate chip cookies if I don't HAVE TO.

Except that I kept reading stuff at Dr. Oz's website and learned that blood tests are unreliable when you're talking about gluten sensitivity. They only usually get a really accurate result if you've got something like Celiac Disease, which I most definitely do not. Thank the heavens!

The suggestion was to eliminate gluten for 2-4 weeks and just see how you feel. If you feel better, you're probably sensitive to gluten. If you don't feel much different, then it's probably something else.

(Like cancer.)

(Kidding.)

(Kinda.)

So I decided I would start on May 1 and just plan on going gluten free for the entire month. And then I went to the grocery store to buy some stuff and get ready for this new culinary adventure.

The gluten free "section" of the grocery store made me immediately depressed. Everything was expensive, and none of it looked or sounded delicious. In fact, it all sounded pretty gross. Grabbing some quinoa pasta, I sprinted away before resolving into sobs about all the things I would henceforth need to avoid.

Making the rounds about the store, I found a few safe things and tossed them into the cart. Potatoes. Cheese.

And then I got to the section that restored my will to live.

Ice cream.

Maybe this gluten-free thing won't be ALL bad.

Have you done the gluten-free thing? Did it help you? What did you eat because I'm seriously starting to worry that I'm going to starve to death. Apparently you can't live on ice cream alone...

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

April Showers Bring May Flowers, Right? Right?

2013-05-01T06:36:00.000-07:00

So, April was a big, fat fail. But I totally don't care because I have an entirely new perspective on just about EVERYTHING and I feel more optimistic/good/happy/mentally stable than I have in a very, very long time.

Which is saying A LOT.

My goals for May are a pretty good representation of where I am right now,

April Goals

♦~~Finish 4 chapters of my manuscript.~~ Nope. I almost finished 1. But that's okay because I just joined a new writing group and we're going to kick some manuscript booty.
♦ ~~Go to the gym 4 times.~~ Nope. But it's okay. Because I'm making a plan...
♦ Find and follow 4 new blogs. Totally did this, but do I remember which 4 I found this month? Nope.
♦ New blog header... I did it all by myself! So proud!
♦ Write a post about the awesomeness of Bloglovin'. I did. Click the button at the bottom to follow me.
♦ Plan an awesome year-end party for my students. Working on it, and it's gonna rock.
♦ ~~Clear out the flower beds~~. My roommate ended up doing one of them, but I never got around to the other one...Yet.
♦ ~~Plant flowers!~~ Not yet, but I'm gonna.

May Goals

☺Go gluten-free for the whole month. (I'm playing a hunch here, and I'll explain more tomorrow.)
☺Start a half-marathon training program for the Tinkerbell Half in January.
☺Go to the (ugh) dance this weekend.
☺Go on a date. A real, actual date.
☺Start the garden.
☺Attend graduation.
☺Finalize super secret travel plans.
☺Finish that manuscript! (Soooo close!)
☺Go to an Angels game. (Preferably one where they win.)
☺Hold Marly's adorable baby boy.

Want to play along? Come on. You know you do....Here's how:

1. Follow all three hosts:

My So-Called Chaos

A Peek at Karen's World

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

In Which I Realize I'm Sick of Being a Single, Mormon, 30-Something

2013-04-28T22:00:00.000-07:00

So the Orange County LDS Singles decided to have a special quarterly church service for all the over-thirty single Mormons living between Los Angeles and San Diego.

For some strange reason, I decided it would be a good use of my time to go and check it out.

I blame it on the fact that I forgot to take my medication once or twice this week. Temporary insanity makes you do crazy things, yo.

After getting up before the sun to go to my Ward Council meeting--

(Where all the "leaders" of the ward get together and talk about people.)

(In a totally loving and constructive way.)

(And "leader" was only in quotes because it still doesn't make sense to me that I'm counted in that group.)

--and sacrament meeting, and then two hours of hanging out with the Primary kids and teaching them a song and then chasing around the 2-year-olds and attempting to keep them from falling off of furniture, I was ~~completely exhausted~~ totally ready to go sit through three more hours of church in the company of a bunch of single adults.

My roommate went with me. I think she was actually looking forward to it because she used to be a big part of that scene and had the chance to catch up with some old friends.

I wasn't going to know anyone but her.

But I went with the right attitude. With the attitude that I wasn't there to find anyone anyway. That I only wanted to feel uplifted and to learn something and to sit in a Sunday School class for the first time in almost two years.

Which is exactly what I got. Besides that short little nap I accidentally took while one of the speakers was at the pulpit.

There were great talks during the Sacrament meeting and a really good lesson in Sunday School. Laura and I skipped out after that because we were both so tired and also she had a birthday party to get to.

It turned out I did recognize a few faces, mostly from choir, but I didn't really get around to talking to anyone much because I turn into the world's worst introvert in situations like that.

One thing I definitely gained from this experience was the realization that I have zero interest in being part of the singles scene in Orange County. Or anywhere, really. Not because there aren't great people and not because there's anything wrong with it. But, because...well, I just don't want to be single anymore.

It's easy to fall into habits and patterns and getting set in your ways when you've spent years not having to compromise on linens or household chores or milk fat percentages. There's a certain comfort in routine. In knowing what to expect. In not having to constantly worry that today could be the day that it all falls apart.

It would be so easy to just stay single. To just be that lady with all the bunnies who never got married and whose house all the kids flock to on Halloween because she gives out the full size candy bars and who never has to share the TV remote with some man who only ever wants to watch Top Gear and Lakers basketball.

Spinsterhood has some measure of appeal to it.

But I realized today that I'm tired of it. I'm done. I'm through with just accepting the single life. Through resigning myself to be one of those people at the Singles Ward who've been there for years and years and don't seem to be in any hurry to leave.

Of course, I have no idea what to do about it now.

But I think being open to the idea of dating again is probably a good start...

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Karen's Blog of the Week: Best of Fates!

2013-04-27T12:47:00.001-07:00

It's that time again! Time for a new Blog of the Week! Yay!

Best of Fates!

Megan is the super funny, self-proclaimed awkward girl at Best of Fates, which is one of my favorite blogs.

She never shies away from telling stories that would embarrass the heck out of other people. She shares funny pictures, the progress of her Project Life, and tales of awkward awesomeness.

Best of Fates is a blog you SHOULD NOT MISS. Megan is a blogger you CANNOT MISS. So go over there and check her out. Er...uh...check out her blog. Because you will love it.

Hope you're having a great weekend!

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

The Buttersmith's Gold

2013-04-24T02:00:00.000-07:00

Guess what, folks?!

I have another exciting book to announce and this one should appeal to all of you that have kids who are at reading age.

A little bit of info:

The Buttersmiths' Gold

BATTLES. BLUEBERRIES. BOVINES.
TORBJORN AND STORFJELL’S HISTORY UNFOLDS IN AN EPIC EVERTASTER NOVELLA.

Everyone knows the most coveted treasure of the Viking Age was blueberry muffins. Blueberry muffins so succulent that if you sniffed just a whiff, you'd want a whole bite. If you bit a bite, you'd want a batch; if you snatched a batch, you'd stop at nothing short of going to war just to claim them all.
Young Torbjorn Trofastsonn comes from the clan that makes them. He's a Viking through and
through – he's thirteen winters old, larger than most respectable rocks, and most of all, a Buttersmith. That's what he thinks anyway, until a charismatic merchant makes Torbjorn question his place among the muffin-makers. When Torbjorn lets the secret of his clan's muffin recipe slip, he calls doom and destruction down upon his peaceful village and forces his brother Storfjell and his clansmen to do the one thing they are ill-prepared to do: battle for their lives.

About The Buttersmiths' Gold
The Buttersmiths' Gold is a spin off novella in the Evertaster series that tells the story of two Viking brothers and their adventurous past. The Evertaster series (Book #1 released June 14, 2012) is about Guster Johnsonville, who goes searching for a legendary taste rumored to be the most delicious in all of history. Along the way he meets a slew of mysterious characters, including two Viking brothers Torbjorn and Storfjell. The Buttersmiths' Gold is their story. 124 pages. By Adam Glendon Sidwell. Published by Future House Publishing.

You can watch the trailer here:

The book is available at Amazon by clicking here.

And that's not all!

You can enter to win a copy of Adam Glendon Sidwell's The Buttersmith's Gold AND a $50 Amazon gift card. Just follow the instructors below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

Dreaming of a Far Off Place

2013-04-23T02:00:00.000-07:00

Ever since my last trip out of the country, I've been dreaming of my next one.

Exploring the museums of Italy?

Dog sledding across the Yukon?

Wandering through the "Shire" in New Zealand?

So many possibilities in this great big world of ours. And endless list of places to go and things to see and I want to do every single one of them.

Okay, okay, at the moment, I have ZERO desire to visit Tehran or Pyongyang.

But that still leaves 195 or so other countries and adventures and exciting opportunities.

During this most recent Christmas, I really struggled with something that has bothered me for years but that I never admitted until my therapist dragged it out of me in an early December session. Even at 36 years old, I feel like I'm forced to choose between my parents during the holidays. Like no answer is the right answer because either way I'm abandoning one of them.

Last Christmas was especially difficult, probably because I finally put words to my feelings and made them real.

And I got to thinking about the true meaning of Christmas, and how I would love to spend the holiday if I could spend the holiday however I wanted.

To me, Christmas is all about others. About being there for other people. About celebrating my Savior and the gift He gave to the world. And the best way to do that is to serve.

I thought perhaps the time had come to start planning for another Habitat trip. Since the last one was so amazing and I've been wanting to go again ever since recovering from the last one.

So I've been stalking the Habitat site like crazy, waiting for an awesome trip to show up on the list. Preferably something that would have me celebrating Christmas somewhere far away.

So far, there's only been one trip that spanned the holiday itself and it has long since filled. Which is okay, because I wasn't completely sold on Sri Lanka anyway.

But then I read Adam Shepard's book, One Year Lived, and I haven't stopped thinking about Paraguay. Not just building the house with my habitat team, but something else we experienced while we were there. We visited an orphanage.

An orphanage full of children whose destitute and hopeless parents had abandoned them to life on the streets. Children ranging in age from 5 months to 17 years.

There are so many places to serve all over the world. It's not just about Habitat for Humanity, even though that has been one of my favorite charities for a long time.

I started exploring some other options.

Working with kids in India.

Working with lion cubs in Africa.

Digging wells in Tanzania.

There are so many opportunities out there to serve and so many organizations that get volunteers together to do great work. And I've started getting excited about the prospect of spending my holiday vacation doing something meaningful and life changing.

Except I started looking at those different organizations and they ain't cheap. Some of them are crazy expensive. Like, $3000 to spend two weeks in South Africa. (Excluding the flight to get there. Or the visas.)

Do you know what kind of luxury, non-servicey vacation I could do with $3000??

I kept thinking about that orphanage in Paraguay. That tiny little orphanage run by the humblest of women. Someone who saw a need and uprooted her family to help children who had nowhere else to go.

There are so many places like that out there. And I just keep thinking there has to be an easier, more accessible way to serve than through a money-making corporation-type volunteer group.

So this is where you all come in. Because you all know people. And the people you know know people.

So my request is simple. If you have any ideas of some far off place where I can go and spend two weeks or so around the end of this December, could you let me know? I'd prefer a place that American women can travel alone with relative safety, but I'm open.

Bonus points if you can put me in contact with an actual person that can help me get started.

This is something that means a lot to me, and any help/suggestions/ideas you have are totally welcome and appreciated.

Thanks! Y'all rock!

And don't forget about Adam's book. You still have a day to download it for FREE!

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!

One Year Lived

2013-04-22T10:19:00.000-07:00

I am super excited about today's post.

Like, ridiculously excited.

One thing I love to do is help promote other people and their awesomeness. It's why I do the Blog of the Week. It's why I love book reviews and giveaways and all the rest. Because I love helping spread the word when I think something is cool.

Which is why, when Adam Shepard contacted me about his new book, One Year Lived, I immediately jumped on it.

For as long as I can remember, one of my biggest dreams has been to drop out of my regular routine and go travel around the world for a year, exploring, enjoying, living.

That's just what Adam did.

In just one year, Adam Shepard went out to see the world. Not as a tourist, but as a traveler, a distinction he makes quite clear as he talks about adventures in "the wrong Antigua" learning Spanish and traveling on the chicken bus; and while volunteering with kids in Honduras, exploring Maya ruins and running into trouble at the border for a misunderstanding with his visa.

Adam is a good writer and while reading, I found myself feeling like a mesmerized kid asking him to "please tell that one about fighting bulls again."

Bull fighting; elephant riding; bungee jumping and koala hugging. Adam has a long list of things he wants to do and sets out to accomplish every one of them.

This is a fun read. And it only makes me want to hop on the next plane SO BAD.

You can learn more about Adam Shepard and his adventures at his official website.

And you can watch him fighting bulls in Nicaragua here.

One Year Lived goes on sale today. BUT. Here's something excited for all of you.

To get the word out about the book, Adam had a great idea. What if he gave it away to some awesome people for free.

But this isn't a regular giveaway where you sign up and hope to be randomly selected.

Nope. This time, everyone has the opportunity to get their hands on a copy.

Between today and Wednesday, everyone who posts about One Year Lived on their blog, Facebook or Twitter and sends me the link will get the code to download the book for free.

You only have til Wednesday, so get on it. But this is a great chance to spread the word about an awesome adventure, and to read it for yourselves.

So...get on it!

And a question...if you could spend a year traveling the world, what would be your first stop?

You are awesome. And if you share this post, you'll be even awesomer!