A Pinkdaisy Life

11 Random...

2012-02-11T19:33:00.000-08:00

I've been on an unintentional blog-hiatus! Life has been wonderfully full with play dates and field trips and family time, but I've been so "real world" busy that I haven't posted in almost two weeks.

Then my dear heart Leigh of Hopefulleigh tagged me in this post, and as I love surveys and interviews, and questions of all kinds, I can't NOT play along!

Here are the rules:
Rules:
1. Post these rules
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Let people know that you’ve tagged them.

11 Random Things about me:

1. I got stuck in the mud on my friend's farm tonight. Her wonderful hubby had to pull my minivan out with his tractor.
2. I have been one inch away from finishing my scarf for weeks now. {Working on follow through. Working on it.}
3. I am currently in the middle of several books. I also have 15 holds from the library all come in on the same day. I both love and hate when that happens.
4. On Monday I am going to the zoo to see a concert.
5. The concert? The Toe-Jam Puppet Band. {Jealous, Leigh?}
6. I am going to the concert with Shasha, Bunky, Sassy, and Bean. I need a cool nickname.
7. Two of my Borders co-workers {sometimes called Lady Baba and Lady Na-na} sometimes called me Lady Haha.
8. I was a tour guide in college and drove a golf cart for some tours. I miss that golf cart.
9. I used to live on the Cape. I miss the scenery and the access to the ocean {closer than 20 minute drive now}, but not the traffic. or the tourists.
10. I love home educating my kids more than I even imagined possible.
11. I am obsessed with Downton Abbey, Once Upon a Time, and Psych. I can pretty much do without the rest of television, except for the occasional 19 Kids and Counting. {Quite the combination, huh?}

Questions for me from Leigh:

1. Favorite book

That is a mean question. That's like asking me to publicly proclaim which of my children is my favorite! Uncalled for! Badly done, Leigh. Badly done. {Okay. Even though that was an Emma reference, if I have to chose, I'd say Pride & Prejudice.}

2. Would you make a good celebrity? Why or why not?

The paparazzi would be soooooo bored. But I'd certainly gush enough about all of the swag I'd be given. Grin.

3. One thing on your To Do list

See a Red Sox/ White Sox game at Fenway with Leigh.

4. The last time you treated yourself to something special

I will be soon treating myself to a Nook Color Tablet.

5. What is your perfect meal?

Cooked by someone else, foods that I've never tried, fabulous friends to share it with...

6. One thing you should do more often

Finish projects. {Working on it. Working on it. Grace grace grace.}

7. Most underrated band

Electric Mayhem {Watch the video, fortheloveofPaulSimon.}

8. Your plans for Valentine's Day

Not ON Valentine's Day, but hubs and I will go out for a movie and dessert.

9. If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Time and money are not a factor.

A beach vacation for two weeks with my bestie.

10. A good prank you pulled or that someone did to you

Oxymoron. No such thing as a good prank. Ugh. Bleck. Yuck.

11. Rain or snow?

Snow. Unless it's a very warm, spring rain and I can puddle jump with the littles.

My questions for my tagees:

1. Favorite t.v. show? Why?

2. Favorite social media outlet:

3. Favorite item that you own that is also your favorite color:

4. Person {or people} you've met online that you most want to meet in person:

5. Best vacation so far:

6. Movie you can watch over and over:

7. Book you read again and again:

8. Three songs on the soundtrack for your life:

9. Where did you go on your worst date?

10. With which t.v. character do you most identify?

11. Who would you cast to play you in the movie of your life?

My tagees:

Melissa @ Half-Dozen Mama

Suzannah @ So Much Shouting, So Much Laughter

Stacie @ Beautiful Things

Tammy @ Ticked Pink Tammy

Alissa @ Rags to Stitches

Friday Coffee Date and a Guest Post

2012-01-27T08:44:00.000-08:00

Welcome to everyone that is visiting from my friend Amy Carroll's blog!

{If you are regular reader-friend, would you take a moment to visit my guest post at Amy's today. It's a topic that's familiar to our regular Pinkdaisy Life community.}

It's Friday, which is our regular coffee date, and I have been itching to sit down and share with you this week. It's a rainy, cold day here in Massachusetts- a perfect day to come in and have a hot cup of Tazo while we catch up.

I'm so honored and humbled that my friend Amy asked me to guest post today. I had such a difficult time getting that post done. I want to tell everything there is to know about Trades of Hope, so I ended up with pages and pages of "outtakes" in my Evernote. Most of what I wrote can be found in the previous Trades posts here and here and here.

I'm also nervous because I overused the pronoun "they" which made it sound like the guests at our parties were had the satisfaction of helping me, when I meant it was the artisans. {eek!!} That's one of the things I love about Trades of Hope - it's a true partnership between the artisans and the Compassion Entrepreneurs. I hope that I have the honor of meeting several of them this side of heaven and tell them how grateful I am for their artistry and their bravery, but I digress.

I'd also share what an encouragement my friend Sarah has been to me in this whole venture. I am her "coach," but that girl brings me so much encouragement. I am so blessed to work with such amazing women.

Who has been an encouragement to you this week?

I've also been going to the gym regularly {ugh}. My friends promise I'll stop hating it soon and will actually start to like it. I'm not convinced, but I need to be healthier. I want to be a mom that can still be active when her grandkids are around, and I know that means making changes in my diet and lifestyle now. Sigh. I'd much rather sit and read.... so of course I read on the treadmill or elliptical when I'm warming up and cooling down. {You aren't surprised are you?} I'd love for you to share your health/ fitness motivation if you have any. *big sigh*

It's been a week of car repairs and stuck in the house and, although I love all four seasons, I long for Spring. We had a teaser earlier this week. Everyone in Starbucks was in a short sleeved shirt and sunglasses. How many weeks 'til warm weather?

I am still enjoying the Bible study I am doing on the book of James Mercy Triumphs and several of you were kind enough to comment or email letting me know your tips and tricks, or just to say that you'd be joining me on my memorization venture. I'm "officially" starting to memorize the book of James this week, but go and get a head start if you'd like.

My lovely friend Leigh will be running a series in February of stories of how her friends met their spouses. She's decided to embrace Valentine's Day as a single and rejoice in the love in her life and the love around her. I'm guest posting about how I met David, which is making me giggle like the sixteen year old I was when I first met him. *grin* I can't wait to read the rest of the stories, so why wait? Tell me: How did you meet your other half?

Well, I've talked a lot about myself, and I wish this was a real coffee date, with real conversation.
Until we can meet over a cup of tea, I love hearing back from you, so, tell me:
So, what's on your mind?

Pressing In Through James

2012-01-25T12:48:00.000-08:00

I've been pondering the spiritual disciplines as I re-read Jan Winebrenner's book Intimate Faith.

I'm still chewing on Chapter 2- which deals with submission and humility. There's a popular quote, attributed to Albert Einstein, that says, "If you can't explain something simply, you don't really understand it." Therefore, I will not even try to write about what I am learning about these topics. Maybe in a few weeks I'll have wrapped my brain around the material enough to at least share my thoughts. {Grin}

In my desire to have a more disciplined study time, I have started Beth Moore's Mercy Triumphs a study of the book of James. She's added a few new options to this study, including a chance to go deeper with some articles written by her daughter, Melissa, and a challenge to write out and memorize the book of James.

I'm doing it.

It's a seven week study, but Beth suggests that the memorization will take months, not weeks.

Can I be honest? I am so scared of failing. Remember, this is the ENFP talking. You know that ENFPs are notorious for their lack of follow through. I mean, that's most of the reason that I have FOCUS as my One Word. *sigh* But I am not going to let my fear keep me from having the book of James hidden in my heart.

No, God won't love me any more or less if I do or do not succeed at memorizing, but might it be possible that as I brood over His Word {more on that later this week}, I might fall in love with Him more?

I am a word girl. In fact, I'm not just a word girl, I am a Word girl. I love the Scripture. I love learning Greek roots and reading commentaries. {I do not like debate, though, I like nice, civilized discussions.} I love sharing my discoveries in Sunday school and Bible study and when I speak to women in groups.

The Sha'ma {Deut. 6:4-9} tells us to impress them upon our children, and to talk about them as we talk and walk and live our day. What a better way to have the Scriptures available to us than to have them hidden in your own heart?

Tell me: do you memorize Scripture? Why or why not?

Friday NIGHT Coffee Date

2012-01-20T19:09:00.000-08:00

Pull up a chair and grab a cup. It's Coffee Date Time!

Only it is 14 degrees outside... so mine is hot chocolate.

It's Friday night and it's been a long, full week. I want nothing more than to sit across the table from you and gab. It's been a week of hubby-not-home and ministering and mothering and tonight I just want some girl time.

I would point out that the lettering on my doorpost is still not done, because although I have it planned, I have so little confidence in my ability to size and center. I'd ask your opinion on the font and the size, and I'd probably ask you to spot me while I climbed up to finish this week's project.

As I letter, I'd lament about how starved we all are for connection, for someone to say, "Yeah, me too," and how hard it is to cross that thresh hold into that level of freedom in our friendships. I'd praise God that I've had the opportunity to steward the lessons I learned in the valley, and I'd ask you to pray that I would have the wisdom and discernment to minister to my precious, hurting friend. I'd share with you how Carrie posted the perfect verse at the perfect time, and I'd show you the frame where I have placed it. Since you don't know my precious sister in Christ I'd show you the frame, which reminds me to intercede on her behalf, but I would not share the barest of details, because some wounds are just too precious. {Would you pray for her even now, even knowing no details? He knows. He sees all.}

Then I'd show you my mug from Brookish and we'd laugh over the fact that I watched two versions of Pride & Prejudice and Emma Thompson's version of Sense & Sensibility (with and without the commentary playing overtop) and that I'm re-reading Mansfield Park because two of my Twitter buddies liked it so much more than I did and I want to know what I missed. I'd also giggle and show you this t-shirt and wonder out loud if I should buy it for my Hubby.

We'd laugh about the silliness of trying to clean a house while the littles are awake and the exhaustion that prevents us from doing a good job when they are not, and we'd wonder why we are so concerned. And then we'd share the actual whys of why we are concerned: our OCD friends with perfect homes, our relatives with too-loud comparisons, and our own hang-ups on balancing real mothering with the June Cleaver standard. And then we'd wonder what the home of the actress who played Mrs. Cleaver's home really looked like, and while I refill our mugs you'd comment that you're glad my house isn't picture perfect, but that's it's probably cleaner than I think it is.

I'd ask you to pray for the messages I'm preparing, and then I'd give you the chance to pour out your heart, because I really am willing to listen, and I consider it a privilege to pray for you, even if you can give very few details.

How about you?

Write Them on Your Doorframes

2012-01-18T12:53:00.001-08:00

My very talented husband and I have noticed a pattern.

Although we have a large list of DIY projects to complete {Some of our past projects have ranged from "Could you hand this homemade magnetic Scrabble board?" to "Huh, I'd really like to turn this pass-through window into a breakfast bar."} it seems that they only get completed under pressure.

Case in point: The door of the front entrance to our home, which until recently we have never needed to use thanks to the {now missing} back steps, was changed out a few months after we moved here in April 2006. The trim was removed when the door was changed, but not replaced until one half-hour before the open house I had last November.

{No. This is not a post on procrastination, although it very well could be.}

My husband created a framing for the door.

Before adding the Ancient Words...

When I looked at it, thanks in large part to my obsession with Pinterest and the influence of my friend Sharon, I saw a blank canvas...

... and my heart stirred towards Deuteronomy 6:4-9:

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord your God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

Last year my friend Suzzanah wrote about writing blessings on her doorframes. I loved the idea, and tucked it away in the "some day" piece of my brain.

The procrastinator in me wishes to wait until I have the perfect paint and the perfect font and the perfect verse and...

But the Heatherly that desires to press in close knows that there is no time like now. Do I need verses on my doorframe to press in? Of course not. Do I need to tie them to my hands and my forehead? No.

But as I study the holy habits, as I lean into the piece of my faith that has been lacking lately, I long for the very thing that is happening in these verses: a lifestyle of having the Ancient Words engraved on my heart so that everything I do is flavored by their truth. I don't believe that happens by miracle {although I would not put it past Him}, but by the slow, methodically courtship of practice and presence.

The Words on my doorframe are an outward sign of my desire, that I will truly love the Lord my God with all of my heart and soul and strength {and mind}.

Over these next weeks I will be studying the disciplines of Submission and Humility, Study, Simplicity and Sacrifice, Fasting and Chastity, Secrecy, Solitude and Silence, Prayer and Meditation, Service, Fellowship and Confession, and Worship and Celebration.

I'll be sharing the questions that are included in Intimate Faith as well as my discoveries. But I'm curious, I'd like to know:

Which of these disciplines are a part of your walk presently? Which ones are lacking? Which disciplines on the list took you by surprise? Leave your response below!

Pressing In

2012-01-16T13:08:00.000-08:00

My heart yearns for intimacy with God.

Sometimes that yearning wears many disguises, but at the core that empty place is always a craving for His whisper in my heart, a strengthening of my faith, a new insight into His character.

I want to press in close, to follow hard.

I remember the first time I ever really thought about that aspect of my faith walk. I was sitting at a campfire at a campground in NH with my friends Mike and Holly and many, many other friends {but it was Mike that made the biggest impact in this memory}. The lyrics to a popular worship song of the time came over the CD player,

"To know and follow hard after you

To grow as your dicsiple in your truth

This world is empty, pale, and poor

Compared to knowing you, my Lord

Lead me on and I will run after you."

I had heard the words, sung them, many times, but in that moment Mike said, "That's what I want. I want to follow hard."

And in my heart, my soul, my spirit, my mind, with every ounce of who I was, I thought, "Me too. That's what I want, too."

~~So much gets in the way of~~ I let so much get in the way of that pressing in, that following hard: to do lists, frustration, drama, boredom, frivolous distractions, but it is my heart's longing.

My prayer is that in this year of #focus, in this year of learning and attempting to live in Spiritual discipline, that my heart's longing will become my first instinct, that I will not default to self, but to His heart.

How are you learning to press in?

Coffee Date!

2012-01-13T14:14:00.000-08:00

Iced Caramel Macchiato {with an extra pump of vanilla}

I've been taking a break from Five-Minute-Friday-ing with everyone's favorite Gypsy Mama. I plan to return, sooner than later, but, as I am DESPERATE for community {always.}, I've wanted to really work on creating a conversation here at PDL.

But there's that follow through issue. {grimace}

My friend MK has a Wednesday Bible study... and I considered something like that here...

But what I really really really truly desire is plain old connection.

I love that I get to chat with so many of you on Twitter and Facebook and in the comments here{please remember that "blogger" comments don't show up bcs I use disqus, but if you do comment from your phone I always try to transfer it over...}.

But I want an opportunity for MORE. So, inspired by Alissa at Rags to Stitches, we are going to have a Friday coffee date for awhile, because if I could, I'd have you each over for a Mason jar of cold-brewed iced coffee or a mug of Tazo tea, and just share life with you.

This week I started really working on FOCUS. *sigh* It's hard work letting Abba get into this very extensive, very difficult place and work. I've started re-reading Intimate Faith, which details some of the most common disciplines. It's kicking my rear. In a good way.

We had our first "real" snow this week. Poor Bunky has been thinking it would snow every day since it was officially Winter. He was a very happy boy, even if it was mostly melted before lunch.

Bean always wants to "hep yoooou."

I love my kids even more now that I'm with them all the time. It's so fun getting to see them in the day to day and the mundane. Even on the days when I kind of want to poke my eyes out.

But that's what tea dates and friends are for.

I had two impromptu blessings in a tea date and a phone call this week. We are designed to be in community, and sometimes you just need to get out of your house and go "calling." Give me ten minutes warning and I am all yours. No. Seriously. {The ten minute warning AND the all yours.}

I'm knitting. My beautiful niece showed me this fun pattern to make a twirly scarf that even I can make. I'm also enjoying the camaraderie of being an amateur knitter with my blog/ twitter friend Mandie.

This week included National Human Trafficking Day. I am so blessed and proud to work with Trades of Hope to help one victim at a time, both here in the U.S. and internationally. {This is my affiliate link. I will get a small commission for each purchase made through this link.}

If you've hung out for any length of time, you know that I love books. {understatement of the year, methinks} Jane Austen is one of my favorites, and each winter I end up cycling through her novels, fan fiction and other Jane-centric writings and viewings {Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy? #yespleasethankyouverymuch} This year I have the pleasure of sharing my musings with two other Janeites: Sonja and Anne {Is it any doubt that with the blog moniker "Modern Mrs. Darcy" Anne with an E and I would become bloggity friends?}

I'm enjoying A Jane Austen Education. But I just started it, so don't take it as a recommendation. Yet.

Once Upon a Time and Downton Abbey have been filling my mind with happy thoughts {even with the dark Rumplestilzkin back story *shudder* and even though I watched this season of Downton while it was airing in Britain. I love the internet}.

So what about you?

If we had the chance, what would you share with us over a cuppa?

Have a blessed weekend!'
Make memories and choose joy.

Love, Het

Dabbler or Disciple?

2012-01-11T07:37:00.000-08:00

Years ago I bought a book, apparently in 2003 according to the code on the Borders sticker on the back cover. {Wait. I need a minute. *tear* Okay. I'm good. No. Really.}

Now, it is not surprising to anyone that I bought a book. I am a READER, a BIBLIOPHILE, a lover of books. I read quickly and retain well. I enjoy the feel of the pages and the surprises found in the library books that are always scattered throughout my home. There are ebooks and classics and childrens' books and magazines. There are journals and friends' Works in Progress {WIP} and Bibles and studies.

{...and being an ENFP, I now want to stop writing and go read the new Jane Austen fan fiction that I got off hold at the library yesterday. Yet ANOTHER reason why my word for 2012 is FOCUS. Sigh.}

The problem with mt relationship with this particular book is that... well... it hurts.

I picked up Jan Winebrenner's Intimate Faith: a Woman's Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines because even then I knew that I needed focus.

I am a passionate person.

I love my friends, my kids, my hobbies, my hubby passionately. I can't NOT be passionate. I've tried.

But passion does NOT mean focused, and even in my pre-hubby, pre-children self I recognized, whether I wanted to admit it to the blogosphere- or even my closest friends, that I needed to be more disciplined in my faith walk.

I have to laugh at the fact that my notes and underlined portions in the first chapter are exactly what I need to hear now, as I begin a year of FOCUS. The necessity of discipline, the dangers of incorrect purpose with the disciplines...

In the past 18 months, I've had to had my brain retrained after receiving and believing some bad teaching on what legalism and grace-based living are and what they look like. That's another discussion for another day.

But I am sure, that having holy habits- a daily pressing in closer to God- is a necessary.

But, as Winebrenner writes:

"... if all we are doing as Christians, as disciples of Jesus Christ, is practicing a few habits in order to look like a Christian (whatever that looks like), or to satisfy a denominational standard for behavior, we are doing little more than dabbling with the idea of discipleship. And instead of reveling in the abundant life Jesus promised us, instead of experiencing increasing intimacy with him and an ever-growing confidence in his goodness, we can expect discouragement, disillusionment, and frequent failure."

Um.

Amen?

Have you been there? I have.

Because I didn't understand that reading the Ancient Words was not a item on my checklist, it is a pressing in to the heart of my Creator- a Creator that, despite the bad publicity we so often give Him, is loving and just.

And I don't want to be a mere dabbler- a faker, a poser, a fraud.

I want to be so pressed in to my Jesus that you can't help but see Him in me. I want to ooze grace like it's my job and I want to be a safe place for all in my life.

Unrealistic? Maybe. But maybe not as unrealistic as I've let myself believe.

How about you? Are you a dabbler or a disciple?

One Step at a Time... One Word 2012

2012-01-10T13:46:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Those of you that know me, or at least "know" me through my blogging, know that I have a hard time finishing strong.

My goal {which actually consists of many mini-goals} is to follow through, to have discipline, to finish what I've started. For an ENFP like me {for those of you who are not familiar with the Myers-Briggs Personality test, a typical ENFP looks like they have ADHD to the casual observer... ahem} that is a gap in my strengths. Doesn't that sound much nicer than character flaw? That's what it is though- a weakness, a flaw, that prevents me from doing the things I know I need to do, and some that I really WANT to do as well.

I've committed to allowing God into this piece of my life.

Sounds simple, but owwwwwww. It already hurts!

In the midst of this epiphany He has already revealed several things to me. I'll share some of them over these next weeks. Some, well, some of them I'll be sharing with only my tribe, as they are deeply personal and painful. Sigh. I'm so thankful for my tribe. {If you don't have a small, close group of same gender people you can depend on to pray, encourage, and kick you in the bottom, I highly recommend that you pray for one. In fact, I'd love to pray for one for you- just let me know in the comments.}

My first step has been taken. I called Leigh {Happy birthday!} and asked for and received wonderful advice and input in a project that I needed to make progress on. {Check}

My second step has been taken. I'm participating in the 52 week challenge... Week one is done and week two is in progress. {Check}

My third step is in progress. I am REstarting Tsh Oxander's One Bite at a Time thanks to an unintentional, but thorough, kick in the hiney by my newest {and quickly becoming one of my favorite} bloggity friends, Anne @ Modern Mrs. Darcy. I bought and started working through this great ebook this summer... and... well... um... I didn't follow through. I know. You are shocked and stunned.

I'll be digging into the spiritual disciplines also.

This sounds like a lot, but the reality is that cleaning and organizing my home, studying the Ancient Words, and creating are all necessary parts of my day. I just haven't done them with any discipline or focus.

Focus. I've been convicted and encouraged. And it's time to get it where it needs to be.

So... {drum roll, please} my One Word 2012 will be...

focus.

I encourage you to pray about choosing a One Word for this year. Once you choose let me know how I can encourage you as you learn to live your One Word.

It's beginning to look a lot like Epiphany...

2012-01-03T15:53:00.000-08:00

"The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been."
— Madeleine L'Engle

Sunni and I always had our Christmas celebration on Epiphany.

This was not for the amazing, deep, spiritual reasonings of others in my circle of influence, who celebrate the 12th day as thoroughly as the 1st.

I sort of wish it started out that way... ~~since we are all amazingly deep and spiritual now~~. {cough}

The real reason was because we became friends in college, so we shopped for each other over our break, where we had a plethora of places to shop and laugh... as opposed to Huntington, which at that point did not yet even have a WalMart.

Our presents ranged from handmade and hilarious {have you heard about the talking pear yet?} to the deep and spiritual {see. I told you.}. Now, we mostly celebrate on Epiphany because we are busy moms, with crazy kids that are hard to get in and out of the post office because we live 900+ miles away and we are ~~cheap~~ on a budget.

Epiphany- which is also Sunni's favorite word- means "illuminated discovery."

She is classy, and so she always defines it properly. I am a recovering middle school English teacher, so I explain it as "that moment when the light bulb would appear over our heads if we were cartoon characters."

While I don't make resolutions, per se {I'm more of a wish list/ goal-setting girl}, I've always used January as a time to look back, to reflect, to turn a flashlight {though NOT a miscroscope} on the past months, and sometimes years. It's my own brand of epiphany. My own illuminated discovery.

Over the past months I've read many posts about personality types {specifically from the Myers-Briggs personality profile}.

I am solidly, and without apology, an ENFP.

As I've learned more about the personality that has been knit within my person, I've made a lot of discoveries about myself. A lot of question marks have been explained. And more questions have been raised.

This one summary statement- from one of the many sites I've looked at-

"ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through."

has caused me to cringe. Not the first part. I'm okay with all the good stuff. Snort. But that last part? Ouch.

I am TERRIBLE with follow-through when I get tired or bored. It's embarrassing. If we take too long to do a study, my mind moves on. If we have the same routine too many days in a row, I get itchy. I am spontaneous to the core.

But somehow, I've managed to ignore the fact that this was a MAJOR issue in many areas of my life. Sigh.

As part of my reset button this year, I'm focusing on spiritual disciplines. I figured a good place to start when looking at these disciplines was the Source- the Holy Spirit and the fruit of the Spirit. Maybe- if I can master my ENFP-ness and follow through, I may even work through the Spiritual gifting here as well.

Plan on a few off topic posts as well, because, well, I'm Heatherly. And Heatherly is REALLY good at off-topic. {Just ask anyone who is in Bible study or Sunday school with me. Sigh.} I will also be giving away a copy of my friend Mary Snyder's new book God, Grace, & Girlfriends, of which her publisher has graciously sent me an extra copy to give away right here on my little corner of the blogosphere.

So, tell me: what "epiphanies" have you had in your own life this year?

On the 2nd Day of Christmas...

2011-12-26T13:22:00.000-08:00

Although I intentionally celebrated {almost} every moment of the Christmas season this year- from Thanksgiving to December 25th, I'm reminded today that the "twelve days of Christmas" are traditionally celebrated from Dec. 25th to January 6th, called All Kings' Day or Epiphany.

I'm feeling a pressing to focus in on the gifts of Christ these special days- to celebrate AFTER Christmas as I celebrated leading up to it.

And yes, I know that we do NOT know what date Jesus was born and that it is most likely that he was born in the spring and that many believe we celebrate His birth "now" because Charlemagne was trying to win over his pagan subjects by allowing their winter solstice festivals to continue but giving them a Christian focus.... but that's another story and NOT what I am talking about when I speak of celebrating Jesus' birth...

I'm also NOT talking about "celebrating Christmas EVERY day when we are believers" because although I know the intention is good and maybe even "correct," don't you think that when you celebrate a special, set-apart season every day it once again becomes the mundane? No? Just me?

I've been challenged this season, as I've read my friends' varied and beautiful perspectives on Advent- whether it was the practical, the emotional, or the spiritual pressing in of Advent, that there is a joy that comes from the quiet contemplation of the Advent. At least one tradition I know of spends Advent in contemplation- much like Lent- with the "twelve days" being celebratory feasts.

I struggle with the quiet and the still. I prefer the dancing and the joyful noise.

But there is a value in both- a balance and a dichotomy- the calm of contemplation and the cacophony of celebration blending together in beauty.

So today, in the aftermath of presents and paper, in sweets and treats, I quiet my heart.

Maybe I'm doing it in the reverse order- celebrating during the solemn and contemplating during the celebration, but I'm doing it.

As I gaze at my own baby Jesus- faceless and carved and gifted to me in love- I remember that we have no photographs of His middle eastern face and that His appearance would not draw any to him, but that His Spirit calls to us; that we love because He first loved us.

As I watch my tired littles playing and giggling- I remember that my Savior came as a little one, and welcomed the little ones to him... {even the ones that run up the aisle at church during Christmas Eve service}.

As I consider the cleaning up after Christmas Day- I remember that I am washed clean, that I- in spite of my stubborn heart and my selfish spirit- have been washed clean by His sacrifice.

I am grateful-

not because of my presents or even the presence of my family-

but for the Joy and Hope that came to a cold, harsh world in dark days to give us reason to celebrate.

Preparing for Joy: The Sacred Stable

2011-12-21T08:26:00.000-08:00

I met Suzannah somewhere on the blogosphere on an otherwise typical day that changed my life and perspective forever. When she uses the phrase "practical theology" she isn't using some watered down version of Christianity that looks more like self-help. Suzannah digs in deep, to the painful, bare places and allows a communion there that most would shy away from- she can be raw in a way that does not cause her readers to cringe, she is generous with grace and encouragement, and she is constantly challenging herself and others to look into the deeper places that so many of us ignore on a daily basis. She has been a gift to me, and I know that your time visiting her at So Much Shouting, So Much Laughter will be a blessing to you.

I've been sick with a nasty cold-slash-head-fog for most of a week. Sunday I collapsed onto the couch after Lessons and Carols, fell asleep promptly and didn't wake for hours.

I've barely cooked, offering cheese and clementines for more meals than I'd prefer to admit. Baking isn't looking good for the foreseeable future. Merry Christmas! *coughhackcough* We made you these!

But hectic holidaze are overrated, aren't they? A forced slow-down can be good, especially during advent. I whisper library stories to cozy cuddlers, and my beloved brews tea. If Christmas cards arrive late, the world won't stop spinning.

I think about the stable: the silent night that surely wasn't and the mother pondering mystery in her Spirit-receptive heart. I remember that the first to greet Emmanuel were those who waited and watched. Those who rush do not see the sacred within a teenage womb or feeding trough. There is little space for rejoicing in a heart without room to receive. The prideful cannot recognize a glory which humbles itself among shepherds.

When a King makes his dwelling among us, there are no ordinary spaces. Ours is a visited planet.

I offer thanks for quiet pause and pray for eyes to see.

An Advent Prayer

Lo, in the silent nightA child to God is bornAnd all is brought againThat ere was lost or lorn.Could but thy soul, O man,Become a silent night!God would be born in theeAnd set all things aright.-15th century

Suzannah writes everyday poetry, practical theology and natural living at so much shouting, so much laughter and tweets @ShoutLaughLove.

Preparing for Joy As a Young Widow

2011-12-20T11:05:00.000-08:00

Leah and I initially connected thanks to our mutual network with Proverbs 31 Ministries through She Speaks, Made to Crave, and mutual bloggity friends. I enjoyed her writing her tweets, her devotions, her insights. As the title of this post alludes, Leah lost her beloved Chris this past year, and interceding in prayer on her behalf bonded her to my heart for all time. When we had the opportunity to laugh and cry together at She Speaks this past summer, I was blessed beyond measure. God has given her a special grace through this season, and I am so very proud of the way she is allowing Him to use her in this difficult, painful valley.

May I pray before you read Leah's Christmas post?

Father God, We know that You are Jehovah-Rapha, the God that heals. We know that You hold both Leah and her sweet girl in the palm of your hands, and we thank you that Chris is with You now. I pray that Leah's words will minister well to those who need to hear, and that we will each respond with a measure of the grace that she has been given. Thank you for your grace and mercy, and for your tenderness towards Leah. Thank you for the example she has been to me, even in her pain. Bless us through her words, Amen.

How do I prepare for my first Christmas as a young widow?

How do I endure the season that was once the most precious to my now deceased husband?

How do I possibly think about decorating a tree, buying gifts, sending out Christmas cards, visiting with friends and family now that my life has so drastically changed?

These are just some of the many questions that popped in my mind last August when I was only three months into my grief journey. Now, seven months later, I clearly see God’s hand of orchestration in this season of anticipation…anticipating the Christ child’s birth and yet anticipating my first Christmas without my precious Chris.

My husband loved Christmas! There are no words I could write that could remotely convey the child-like giddiness my man had over this holiday each year. He actually celebrated all year long in very subtle (and some not so subtle) ways, but it was December 25 he truly longed for! He loved the music, the decorations, the season of goodwill, the Salvation Army kettle bell ringers, the special programs at churches in our area, the caroling, the baking, and ultimately…the celebration of the birth of our Savior. His Savior.

Sadly, my husband died as a result of taking his own life on May 4. Our Savior…His Savior…was with him the entire time his muddled mind made that dreadful decision. How could he do this? More importantly, how could he do this to my daughter and me? The answers to those questions will never fully come this side of eternity, but one thing I do know…he loved Jesus! Oh…how he loved His Messiah! And, because of his love for Jesus, he also loved CHRISTmas!

As I began to ponder – in August – the upcoming Advent and Christmas seasons that are now suddenly here, I knew I wanted to honor my husband. I knew he would want me to fully enjoy the season, but could I do even begin to endure this time without him? Then, the answers began to come.

A Chris Tree – the Lord impressed upon my heart the desire to have a tree in memory of my husband (in addition to our regular family tree). The tree would contain ornaments related to all elements of Chris: his personality, hobbies, passions, etc. I sent out an “all points bulletin” on my blog, Facebook, and Twitter in hopes that others might feel led to help me fill the tree. I knew it would be difficult to do on my own. The Lord was so faithful… I now have a beautiful 9+ foot tree in my living room filled with over 175 ornaments from friends all over this nation (many of whom I’ve never met). The preparation for Chris’ memorial tree actually began in August, and to look at it now simply astounds me! It is a true reflection of God’s faithfulness among much pain.
Christmas Open House – when I was a little girl, my grandmother would always host a neighborhood Open House about a week or so before Christmas. She lived alone, and this was one way that she could combat some of the loneliness of the season. In my quiet time with the Lord each day, I pray that He would show me ways that I could focus on something other the loss of my husband this season. He reminded me of Grandmother’s Open House so many years ago, and I knew I had another answer. Many preparations were made, and my home was opened up to a wonderful group of friends that have been surrounding me in love and care since May 4. This was my way to thank them for all they’ve done for us and to also have an evening set aside to simply fellowship and enjoy each other’s company.
Christmas Eve and Christmas Day – preparation for these days puzzled me the most. How do I give my daughter and me a peace-filled day and yet see all of the family we would normally see if Chris were still with us? Once again, I believe the Lord gave us the outline of the plans, which includes visits with friends, Chris’ family, and my family. It will involve a lot of travel on Christmas Day, but we would be doing those very things with Chris if he were with us.

Regardless of how I actually celebrate this year, my focus is two-fold:

To keep Jesus the Guest of Honor and main focus and
To keep Chris’ memory alive and honored as well

Aside from that, nothing else matters. Jesus will have to direct my steps, because my physical strength is waning. But, if Jesus is obviously the guest of honor, and Chris’ memory is kept alive and honored, and I remain tapped into strength not my own – then I will have to say, in advance, that it will be a good Christmas indeed – even if it’s my first…as a young widow.

In addition to her full-time work with 106.9 the Light, a ministry of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, Leah is also a young widow (as of 5/4/11), a single mom to her beautiful, teenage daughter, Anna, and a woman passionately in love with Jesus.

Leah wants nothing more than to share her passion for Jesus and His desire to work miraculously through all of our lives, as witnessed through the tragedies in her own life. She does this through writings on her own personal blog:www.panthersandpetals4Him.blogspot.com and by speaking at churches and events both nationally and internationally.

Preparing for Joy: The Redemption

2011-12-19T07:37:00.000-08:00

I am proud to introduce you to today's guest post. My beautiful friend Chelsie Wehde has a way with words- she finds the delicate in the academic and the ethereal in the eternal. I hope that her beautiful Christmas post stirs your hearts towards our Hope and our Joy:

I love Christmas because it reminds me of a man who has a deep infatuation with my heart. With passionate force, God broke into history. To me, this is Christmas. This is no longer a heavenly affair, removed from the frame of earthly things. This is God getting directly involved into my story, my history and that is personal. Christmas is not a pretty nativity scene, decorated with tinsel and snow. Christmas is about a God who desperately wanted to keep his promise to us, so much so that he halts the world as we know it and enters right into it. God isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty.

This is the difference between our faith and the rest. No longer can one claim that God is an impersonal God. No longer can one claim that Christianity is a myth or a just a religion. No other religion speaks about God himself becoming fully man in order to save his creation from a fate they themselves chose. No, this isn’t just your run of the mill religious story. This personal touch transformed it into a love story. Christmas is not just a holiday. Christmas is about a God who will always come back for me.

Christ came as fully God, but also 100% man. He came so that I could be free. Free from religious rules. Free to live without fear. Free to appreciate sunrises and friendships and creation. Free to love wholeheartedly. Free to mess up. Free to laugh and dream and adventure. Jesus did not come to frown upon my sin. The whole purpose of Jesus coming to Earth was to show me that he is not distant, but here, and he will never forget me.

With so much stress on the divinity of Jesus, we sometimes forget the humanness our savior took on for us. How beautiful to know that God himself became like me. And you know what is even more special? Jesus did not come as a scholarly Pharisee, to teach me right and wrong and to discourage fun and laughter. He came as a carpenter, who hung out with the drunkards and the prostitutes. He went fishing with his friends, he played with children, he loved the scandalous ones, the heartbroken ones, he laughed with his disciples and cried for those he cherished. He sweat, he thirsted, he hungered. He was certainly human, just like me. He came to show us who God was. When I see that God laughed with his creation, rescued them, identified with them and loved them, I find the Christmas story to be the most romantic thing I’ve ever known.

Jesus created the beautiful things of this world so that I might find him within them. Jesus broke into MY history, so that he could prove what a personal God he is. My Jesus is intimate and he appreciates each human moment, because he was human. Why did Jesus make sunny mornings, chocolate banana bread, bittersweet melodies, breakfasts in bed, breezy afternoons in marketplaces filled with cultural beauty? Why does he make embraces so consoling, kisses so beautiful, the ocean so heart wrenching? If he was a boring God, why would he create my heart so adventurous, giggles so addictive, sunrise light so enchanting? If God is impersonal, then these things would have been a waste of time to create. But I delight so fully in each of these things, because Jesus does too. Why would he create something as small as a lilac, if not because in it’s ordinary quality one could find it extraordinary. Jesus finds laughter in the smallest moments and he specially wrote each ordinary moment so that I could find beauty in it too. These little intricacies show me a Jesus who smiles with joy as I live his small adventures out in a big way. These moments point me to a Jesus who knows what it means to be human.

Christmas is not just about a guy who died two thousand years ago. Christmas was the beginning of an event that proves to me the intimacy of God. It was God’s way of showing that no moment is too small, no price is too big, and no promise is ever forgotten. Because of that special day, I am free to fall in love with my rescuer who romances me and knows me completely. What happened on Christmas was the start of my redemption.

Chelsie Wehde is a college student and one of the co-founders of Trades of Hope, a missional business that creates opportunities for artisans through fair trade home parties. She is 19 years old, and wise beyond her years. In Chelsie's own words: "I want to be a world changer. Not going to settle for anything less. I am deeply in love with Jesus... He has romanced my soul and captivates my heart. Plus, he wins in the end ...so I pick his side, hands down." You can read more of Chelsie's beautiful words at www.Chelsiewehde.com and hear more about the work she is doing at Trades of Hope at www.TradesofHope.com.

Preparing for Joy: Adventus

2011-12-15T09:21:00.000-08:00

Carrie is, without hyperbole or any other form of exaggeration, one of my favorite people. We are kindred spirits- practically neighbors {2 hours as opposed to the many, many states that separate us each from our besties} that traveled to our college years in Indiana in order to meet. Reconnecting and growing with her has been one of the blessings of social media. And one of my Christmas presents to myself and hubby? Meeting up with her and her hubby at the Christmas Stroll mentioned below.

I hope you are as blessed by her thoughts on Advent:

I totally haven't been in the mood for Christmas this year. Christmas DAY, anyway. But Advent? The preparation? The enjoying? The journey? Sign me up. I've been visiting my farmhousey websites more than usual. If I can't find things in my price range to make my house like that (and can't go grab a 170-year old farm off of craigslist, even if they did list it for $180 instead of $180,000 like it should've been), I will happily peruse other websites and houses that can! I want my house to be more simple, more quiet, more expectant, more prepared. This year I seem to be interested much more in CHRISTMASTIME, rather than just Christmas Day.

My brain is in a one-gift-for-each-kid mindset. I don't want to go shopping. I'm not interested in making plans.

I want cocoa. And my lighted tree. And a fireplace. (A girl can dream.) And candlelight strolls through old houses with good friends and friends-to-be. And a Christmas story. (Not a punchline.) I even have a list of one thing to do each day of December until Christmas. Wanna see?? Thought so.

1. Deck the halls!
2. Take photos for Christmas cards.
3. Buy a new Christmas album and listen to it.
4. Make the house smell like Christmas.
5. Make Christmas Cards.
6. Read a Christmas Story Book.
7. Make a new Christmas treat.
8. Make a new Christmas Decoration.
9. Color a Christmas picture.
10. Build a snowman or hang up paper snowflakes.
11. Make hot chocolate and stir with candy canes.
12. Make a treat and take it to a friend.
13. Watch a Christmas movie and eat popcorn.
14. Go out for a Christmas treat.
15. Do something nice for someone.
16. Drive around and look for Christmas lights.
17. Take a winter walk.
18. Do service for someone in need.
19. Have a campout in front of the Christmas tree.
20. Call Grandma and Grandpa and sing a Christmas song.
21. Take gifts to teachers and friends.
22. Read a story or watch a movie about the birth of Baby Jesus.
23. Make cookies.
24. Read “The Night Before Christmas.”
25. Christmas!!!

I did not do #1 on Day 1. In fact, I haven't done it at all yet. The piano will need to be cleaned off first.

We did #2 about a week before - I'm using the kids' school pictures taken by a friend.

I did #3!!! Granted it was the Phineas & Ferb Christmas album. But it counts.

I did #4!!! I need to get a new candle that smells like pine, but for that day, it smelled like yummy cake and coffee.

I'm interested in the process. Not the end result.

I think it might have something to do with the lack of snow...and, quite frankly, the lact of sub-40 degree weather. (I'm pretty sure I still live in New England, but you'd never know to look at it right now.) So maybe I'm overcompensating.

But seriously...isn't this the better way to go?!?!

What have I done other years??

Raced through December.

Decorated the tree because it needed to be done, and it should be done on this day.

Pulled out Christmas and winter decor because I needed to make it BE Christmas right. now.

And I've spent too much money and not enough thought on Christmas gifts for family.

This year...

We put up the Christmas tree because it's December and we had the evening free.

I've waited on decorations because I don't have the place yet to put them. Why add more cluttery stress??

Spending less time but more thought on gifts because they're simply not the point, but should represent how much you think of and care about a person - enough to know their wishes and hopes and hobbies and longings.

And I've actually spent two seconds of thought on at least TRYing to do that 25 Days of Christmas list.

Because I don't want to go too fast through this season. This season wasn't created for rushing.

There's no way you can rush a pregnancy - as much as Mary might've liked to hasten her "days being accomplished." Especially in the days of no c-sections or scheduled births. Jesus was going to show up when JESUS decided to show up. In God's time. In Jesus' time. And Mary had to wait.

And wait Mary did. There were still things and responsibilities to be taken care of and tended to. Fires had to be started, meals had to be made, chickens fed, donkeys watered, sewing done, and censuses to be packed for, walked to, and attended. (Some of our December activities seem as lovely and exciting to do as an 80-mile trek to a very pregnant woman.)

But isn't it in the preparation? The word "advent" comes from the Latin word "adventus" meaning "coming." We are to prepare our hearts for Jesus's arrival. And that says CHRISTMAS to me way more than any shiny-shiny.

He's coming. He's on His way! See the star? He'll be here soon. Are we getting ready?

Not ready for Christmas...ready for HIM.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him." (Psalm 37:7)

Carrie has been described as "quite honest and inspirational" and "refreshing." {ed. note: I happen to agree.} Her writing comes from a desire to connect with other moms and wives in a very real, raw, everyday, Hot-Wheels-in-the-fridge kind of place. She hopes to bring encouragement that God still remembers them in their ministry inside the home. She and her husband live in Maine with their four collective children, several sets of parents, a big dog, a small hamster, and a white goldfish.

Carrie blogs at www.http://betterisalittle.blogspot.com/

Preparing for Joy: It's Not About Me

2011-12-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

Please welcome my friend Stacie Miller as we continue our series about preparing to CHOOSE JOY this Christmas season...

“Honey, in all the years your children are home with you, you will have only a handful of those ‘magical Christmases,’ where everyone is healthy, happy, and gets the perfect gift.”

Dad spoke those words to me eight years ago in the wake of a post-Christmas let-down. I had forfeited the Christmas Eve service to stay with my feverish ten-month old while everyone else went to church. My husband and I had spent the wee hours of Christmas morning washing the sickness off our baby and her pack ‘n play. We had lived four days out of suitcases, bouncing from house to house, and I was tired, grumpy, and disappointed. This wasn’t how I wanted my baby’s first Christmas to look. This wasn’t how I wanted my Christmas to look.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I thought Christmas was about me.

Oh, I knew it wasn’t about receiving presents or getting things; I’d learned that long ago from the Grinch. But a subconscious part of me thought Christmas was about my experience—my blanket-of-snow, fire-in-the-fireplace, carols by candlelight, Mom’s-homecooked-ham, healthy-happy-family, perfect-Courier-and-Ives magical experience. I rated the goodness or not-so-goodness of Christmas by how well it met up with my expectations; I used my circumstances to answer the question we all ask each other after the festivities—Did you have a nice Christmas? And I made it about me.

Then came real life and the imperfection of real life that doesn’t pause for Christmas. Sometimes the holiday imperfections were little things—cranky kids, snow storms, strep throat, or stomach flu. Sometimes, they were big things—chronic illness, depression, or strained relationships. No matter the circumstance, the temptation was, and is, the same: to turn my eyes inward and think about me. To think of my disappointment rather than my hope, my happiness rather than my joy, my comfort rather than my character.

I’ve known Christmas is not about the presents, but maybe I’m just now starting to understand it’s not about the presentation either. Real Christmas is about apparent imperfection—a birth that went awry by human standards and was perfect anyway. So, this year, whether there is warm-and-fuzzy or chronic pain and the smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, I want to remember Christmas is still Christmas—the birth of Christ, a celebration of hope.

And that hope is always good.

Stacie has been married to Danny, her college sweetheart and best friend, for over eleven years. Over the past three and a half years, she and her husband have been on a bittersweet journey battling his chronic pain. She is a stay-at-home mom to a beautiful seven-year-old daughter and wild four-year-old twin boys, and she writes some freelance on the side. Blogging reminds her that she is surrounded by beautiful things, and the ash that surrounds her only waits to be turned into beauty.

Stacie's beautiful words can be found at beautifulthingsoutofus.blogspot.com .

www.beautifulthingsoutofus.blogspot.com

Preparing for Joy: Who's Mommy Kissin' Anyway?

2011-12-12T20:49:00.001-08:00

I "met" today's guest writer long before I had the chance to sit and visit with her at She Speaks, before she became one of my encouragers. I am so blessed to share her with you today. Please welcome Shannon Milholland!

Love is kind…It does not boast. It is not proud.

1 Corinthians 13:4

I saw Mommy kissin’ Santa Claus… I don’t remember the precise moment of my revelation but it was only a few years ago when I grasped the implication of this phrase. It’s embarrassing to admit but my mind had compartmentalized the husband as a distinct and different person from the one Mom was kissing.

Recently I heard that song and its’ phrase taunted me. Why did I think for so many years Mom was smooching the actual Santa?

{Why did I think the husband got left in another room all together?}

Perhaps because there’s a piece of my heart that still wants to keep all the Christmas glory to myself. After all, aren’t I the one who makes the lists, checks them twice and then buys gifts for both the naughty and nice?

But I don’t want my hubby to be kept out of a piece of my heart; I want him to have all it.

Maybe it’s time for a new Christmas tradition.

One where I don’t avoid discussing Christmas purchases out of a desire to avoid conflict.

One where I don’t secretly revel in the children knowing I did it all again this year.

This will require surrender of control. A healthy dose of humility will also be required. But I once stood not under mistletoe but at an altar and pledged my love to a man whose:

Sleigh is a beaten up old Yukon

Love is sacrificial every day

Job requires tireless work all year long

This year I’m opening the sack of my heart and taking out present tagged “Hubby” wrapped in kindness – my heart wholly his. That way when my kids see Mommy kissing under the mistletoe, they’ll have no doubt what man is honored in my home and heart every day of the year.

Shannon is the author of Jesus & My Orange Juice, a fresh-squeezed oasis for ordinary life. She finds joy among miles of carpools and piles of laundry and delights in leading others to this place of contentment in life. Join the conversation at Jesus & My Orange Juice and download her free eBook, PrePrayed.

As Social Media Director for Southern Writers Magazine, she writes articles both for their magazine and blog about blogging and building a platform as an author. Southern Writers exists to nurture and encourage writers and fits perfectly with Shannon’s uplifting personality.

When not writing, you can find Shannon speaking to audiences with a message of hope and encouragement. Straight forward about her own struggles, Shannon is a compassionate advocate fighting for victory in the lives of her audience. Read more at www.shannonmilholland.com.

You can also connect with Shannon on Facebook and Twitter.

My Hope {a visit to Jesus & My Orange Juice}

2011-12-12T11:55:00.000-08:00

I hear them whispering.

I don't dare join them- in case they are right- but it is hard not to hear their gossip, their questions, their accusations.

"...only pledged, not married..."

"...angels spoke.... that's likely"

"...should be ashamed..."

"...surprised he stayed..."

When she left town to visit relatives- suddenly and without a word- we all wondered, but it's not unusual to visit one's cousins. Then the whispers traveled back towards town, "Elizabeth is with child."

We were shocked beyond speech- it was rumored Zechariah was too, if the gossips could be believed.

It seemed unlikely that the story was true. Whispers of Abraham and his Sarah echoed, truth entwined with the obvious fabrication of wives and mothers with nothing better to do than to speak of others'
concerns as if they were a children's tale. And then...

Please join me as I visit Jesus and My Orange Juice to share a peak into another side of Mary's story.

Five Minute Fridays: Color

2011-12-09T11:17:00.000-08:00

a la The Gypsy Mama:
{It’s Friday.

Let’s do it. Let’s just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Won’t you join me?}

Pink.

Today is pink.

Even though the sky is a hazy blue-gray and the unraked leaves are brown, today is pink.

December 9th will always be pink, because that was the catalyst to my becoming pinkdaisyjane instead of a generic, gray, washed out, whiney "Debbie Downer" of sorts.

16 years ago {love the love of lloyd dobbler, 16 years, really?} our friendship was cemented with brownie mix and leftover Pooh hats, a foray into spontaneity that formed a covenant friendship- a bond too deep to tell, it can only be seen and felt.

At Nobska Point, ca. 2000

The freshness of a new friend with a bright spirit and a hard-won faith walk, a perspective-widening, get over yourself, but I still love you the way you are, you can be anything: you need to write more, sing more, get out more, travel more, don't be afraid more kind of friend. Goofy and deep, spiritual and silly.

A friend that grounded me and gave me the confidence to fly, who always cheers for me, even when I'm being ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS.

2001 at Barkafella Center

Sunniface, if I've been even a percentage of a fraction of the blessing you've been to me... well, I don't know what. I'm just grateful. Grateful beyond words that neither of us had plans, and we both wanted brownies. Because I can't even imagine who I'd be without my bestie beside me, even from 900+ miles away.

Happy Friendaversary, Tink! Love, DaisyJane

Preparing for Joy: Blue Christmas

2011-12-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

Please welcome my dear friend, Mary Kathryn. We are soul sisters, and this post proves it. If you have ever suffered from anxiety or depression in any form, or even just the holiday blues, this post is for you.

i hate christmas.

sometimes i love it.

mostly i hate it.

but that's not even true.

because i love it.

here's the thing: from the time the thanksgiving turkey goes into the oven until the ball drops on new year's, one might find me holding my breath.

the whole time.

all 38 days, from beginning to end.

because the holidays, while joyful on all the important levels, fill me with so. much. anxiety.

i am already the daughter who is uncomfortable in her own skin {only} around her family. i feel 3, 13 or 23, always. i clam up. i get glares and stares for saying a thousand wrong things. i am temperamental and i feel a little bit crazy. i am awkward. i throw tantrums. i am not myself, not at all. not one bit. try as i might, i somehow always manage to disappoint or hurt someone.

usually my mom.

because i am The Queen of Awesome.

(seriously. can i come spend christmas with someone else's family? please? i’ll bring cookies? anyone? no? crap.)

one of the only reasons i might (not that i do, but i might) like to have a family of my own one day is just so i can create new traditions of my own. we're having christmas at our house, i will boast. y'all can come if you want, we'll be here. and by 'here' i will mean my very own happy home.

(and i will be secretly relieved that no one comes.)

(because, again. Queen of Awesome.)

in the meantime, at 34 and still single, i am resigned to my younger, more awkward self among my family of origin. please, oh please, just put me at the kids' table. i fit better there and prefer it, actually, if it will just keep me out of the way of my always-uncomfortable less-adultlike moments.

UGH.

dread.

christmas.

when het sent an email to a group of us asking to fill guest-spots about 'preparing for advent' my honest reaction was,

oh, holy night, het. (see what i did there? only that's not what i actually said.) seriously? you really want me to tell our friends that my depression only worsens around the holidays and that i ‘prepare the way’ for the newborn king by hiding under my covers from thanksgiving to new year's hoping that i can make it that long without breathing or saying the wrong thing?

(have i mentioned i was a theatre major?)

but here's the honest truth: if i can get out of my own way, i really do love christmas.

my little apartment is way, way, way, way, way too small for a tree (or even a bush, for that matter; plus, i kill green things). i have little room to decorate my shoebox, but it is one of my very favorite things in the world to do and i'm pretty certain party-throwing is my spiritual gift.

since my niece was born, i pull all of my christmas decorations down from my sister's attic and turn her house into my own winter wonderland. hannah grace and i are always looking for a reason to party, so i decorate for her sake if not a little bit for my own, because what is christmas if not a chance to be our tackiest, brightest and gaudiest only to blame it on a creative child (or creative child within, as it were)?

and then this weekend i had an idea. an epiphany, if you will.

(wait. ha! no pun intended. i really didn’t mean to do that, but it’s funny, no?)

see, i've been sort of stuck in a rut lately.

at the time i received het's request, i immediately thought i would appeal to everyone else like me pulled asunder by seasonal depression, let you all know you're not alone, but let's praise little baby jesus from beneath the sheets, anyway, and pray we all make it through. blah.

and then i remembered that, as much as i have to fight through my depression as it is, the holidays are no exception. in fact, it's usually worse. which is why i have to constantly guard against it and do things differently if it means i won’t fall into the hole. and if it’s worse at christmas, then i must be especially vigilant in this season.

you know, like a shepherd keeping her watch by night.

(that one didn’t work so well, did it? oh well.)

~~i have to - we get to - choose joy -~~

sweet friends,

WE MUST CHOOSE JOY,

ESPECIALLY AT CHRISTMAS.

because isn't that what this is all for? didn't little baby jesus come at christmas so he could grow up and make things with his hands and heal people with his touch and breathe life just to die for our depression and awkward moments? this is our holiday, brothers and sisters.

we don't have a choice, friends. i don't have a choice. i can't afford not to choose joy at christmas and, quite frankly, our lost and dying and hopeless world can't afford for us not to, either.

and so, this year, i commit to making this The Best Christmas Ever. not for anyone else but myself, because i don't think the 'anyone else's' in my life can be pleased by me. and that's okay, though slightly disappointing and depressing but whatever because this is going to be THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVERRR!

(you have to promise to say it like that, too. okay?)

i will joyfully, if not begrudgingly, accept all two of my christmas party invitations unless i have a prior, real (not fake) obligation.

i will hang up on my fridge all of the christmas card pictures i receive and i may -may- send out one of my own. (well, by valentine's day, anyway. maybe.)

i will play christmas music even when -especially when- i feel like a grinch. (even now, i am listening to my 'fun christmas' playlist.)

i will find out when all of my old favorite christmas specials are airing and commit to watch all of them.

i will thoughtfully pick out my family and friends’ christmas presents because i really love giving perfect gifts and i will wrap each one with care and excitement, without expectation that they will meet some need in me with an equally thoughtful gift or over-the-top reaction to their perfect present.

and if i must hide beneath my sheets this christmas, then i will crawl into the trough of my manger-born savior and listen to his heartbeat.

and i will celebrate - this year, i will truly celebrate - the birth of the one who makes all of this worth it.

every day, in every way. the reason i live, sleep, eat and breathe...

i will celebrate with and for and honor you, all of you, our blessed guest-of-honor. you are our reason, our everything.

happy birthday to you, oh magnificent jesus the christ, whom we praise and offer our lives; to whom we lay down our gifts of tears and depression, of frustration and exhaustion, as we behold the throne of our king of kings and lord of lords. we receive in exchange your gifts of goodness and peace, justice and mercy, kindness and love, forgiveness and grace. all the reasons you came to live and to die, we receive. thank you, thank you, oh precious savior, for these gifts we do not deserve but you were born to the earth to give. it is you, you alone, whom we love, worship, and adore, now and always. happy birthday, baby jesus.

i am writing this post on november 29. in this moment, i don't have a plan for the after-party at my blog but will be sure to have something fun prepared by then to continue the celebration for the rest of the month upon publication of this post, so make sure you head – nay, skip, run or jump – over there to find out all about it. (it will be a surprise to us both, to be sure.)

as i wrap this up, mariah carey is singing jesus, oh what a wonderful child. and if that song won't throw joy on you, then...well...

well then, maybe you really should crawl under your sheets this year.

next year can be your year, friend. (thinking of you.)

merry christmas, y’all.

xo

ed. Note: almost two weeks have passed since writing this post and the author would like you to know that she is, in fact, taking necessary steps toward joy this season. she has said 'yes' when she has wanted to say 'no'. she has received doses of the 'christmas spirit' and is hoping one day soon it will take more permanently. stay tuned to her blog for an upcoming post about further progress.

mary kathryn tyson is a still-single 34-year old who has learned the hard way she cannot live without the grace of god. she blogs daily (except when she doesn’t) over at beauty for ashes and tweets at random.

mostly, she just loves.

Preparing for Joy: Eggnog and Anticipation

2011-12-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

Leigh is an incredibly talented writer and one of the bravest people I know. She moved states away for a fresh perspective on life, but that means starting the holidays far from her home. Read on about how Leigh is preparing for Christmas this year:

A day or two after Thanksgiving, my family gathers to decorate. Furniture is moved about the living room or removed altogether. Frames and knickknacks stowed to make way for their holiday brethren. We procede to the basement, hauling up the large tree box and bin after bin of goodies.

This project brings out the complementarians in us. Dad and my brother put together the fake Christmas tree, then wind the lights around. Meanwhile, my mom and I hang stockings, resurrect nativities and snowmen, and dot Christmas cheer throughout the house.

But first, always first, I bring down the Precious Moment nativity figurines and assemble the wooden creche. At times, I'll move Mary and Joseph to the side of the babe sleeping in the manger. Maybe place the wisemen outside the stable so they look toward the star in the “sky.” This has been my task for so many years, I'm not sure anyone else has ever done it.

And yet, this year and last, someone else has. Since moving to Nashville, I haven't made it home for Thanksgiving and so I've lost out on our Christmas preparations.

I miss out on hanging ornaments and traipsing down memory lane with each one. I have to wait until I'm home for Christmas to admire the stockings my Mom sewed for us way back when. I don't get to experience the relaxed familial environment that arrives when the Christmas decorations come out.

And I especially miss our tradition of sipping eggnog and eating cheese and crackers once the house is decorated just so. The velvet cream of the eggnog soothes as we talk about this season. What are our hopes and fears this Christmas? How will we remember Christ's birth?

These traditions settle us and center us. I have decided this is something I must carry forward in my corner of Tennessee.

There's something about the music, the ornaments, and twinkling lights that lends itself toward anticipation. But anticipation for what? Now that I'm older, it's not about the presents anymore. Though, to be clear, I very much enjoy the presents.

No, I remember the reason for gathering and why the carols were inspired. “O holy night! The stars are brightly shining, it is the night of the dear Savior's birth.” The music swells and we are carried with it, experiencing a bit of the holy in our day to day.

I may miss out on the eggnog and decorations with my family this year but there's no reason I can't raise a glass of my own here. After I hang the wreath and arrange ornaments in a hurricane vase, the poor woman's version of a Christmas tree, I'll drink eggnog and ponder what this season holds.

This year I've thought a lot about anticipation, expectancy, and hoping for the best in all situations. 2011 has seen me through some exciting ups and horrible downs. Yet I still trust that God has His hand in all of it. He will work all things for the good of those who love Him, redeeming the tragedies of life. Isn't Christ's birth proof of that?

There's no greater hope or anticipation than in the birth of a child and here was a child born to die for our sins and save us. This is an awe-inspiring truth.

Our traditions may change but the wonder of Christmas does not. No matter what 2012 brings, I pray my heart will anticipate the best.

In May 2010, Leigh Kramer intentionally uprooted her life in the Chicago suburbs by moving to Nashville in an effort to live more dependently on God. She writes about life in the South, what God has been teaching her, and her ongoing quest for the perfect fried pickle. You can follow her adventures on Twitter (www.twitter.com/hopefulleigh) and her blog HopefulLeigh (http://www.leighkramer.com).

Preparing for Joy: Moved By Music

2011-12-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

Last month, I put out to the call to my writer friends to help me write a series on preparing for Christmas. I love reading my friends' blogs. Their styles, the walks, their convictions move me, make me think, and shape me each day.

Carey's down to earth advice about preparing for the holiday season- and thriving in it- has given me a "go to" plan for when the "grumpies" and the "busies" hit.

Enjoy!

Moved By Music

Music moves me.

From the Rat Pack to the 80’s big hair bands to Gospel hymns to Christmas tunes… music affects my mood.

Does it have that same power over you?

One of the things that my family does to usher in Christmas is to break out the oldies but goodies holiday tunes. We have them playing in the house and in the car 24/7.

I love to listen to my kids sing the songs that hit the charts before they were even born. Heck, some of the songs are even pre-me! Regardless, they know all the words… we all do.

But to be honest, my very favorite songs are those I grew up singing in church… the ones that point to the birth of Jesus. Songs like:

Silent Night
Joy to the World
Away In The Manger
The First Noel
O Holy Night

I cannot sing them without tears streaming down my face.

These songs speak to a deeper place in my spirit. They immediately bring me into His presence, and I find myself… once again… in awe of the humbling events surrounding the birth of Jesus.

Are you tracking with me?

So when I find myself (or my family) getting too wrapped up in all the world has to offer during the holidays, I play these songs.

When we begin to think it’s about what’s under the tree or what decorates our house, I turn up the volume.

The words of those songs refocus me… they refocus us.

Listen, friends. It’s important that we are intentional in preparing our hearts for Christmas. While music helps me center my attention to what matters the most, it may not be what speaks the loudest to you.

So tell me… what prepares your heart to celebrate the birth of Christ?

A passage of Scripture that recounts the story?
The unpacking of your favorite Nativity scene?
Reading a holiday book that’s been passed down through the generation?
Decorating your Christmas tree as a family?
Baking those holiday treats and delivering them to friends?
Purchasing gifts for those in need?

Whatever it might be, don’t allow this season to pass you by without connecting your heart to the holiday.

For Christ-followers, this is a very important celebration. Why? Because without the birth of Jesus, we wouldn’t have been able to experience the power of the cross.

It’s a big deal.

Friends… do whatever you need to do to prepare your heart. This is our season to shine.

About the Author: Carey Scott is an inspiration speaker and writer honest about her walk with the Lord stumbles, fumbles and all. Her passion is to challenge women to be real with themselves, others and God. Carey lives in Colorado with her husband and two young kids.
You can learn more about her at websitewww.careyscotttalks.com or subscribe and follow her blog – “Let’s Get Real” (http://careyscotttalks.wordpress.com)
Twitter:http://twitter.com/#!/careyscotttalks Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Carey-Scott-Talks/158675720819009

Preparing for Joy: Less Is More

2011-12-05T00:00:00.000-08:00

I have gleaned a lot about choosing joy from the writers that I read- Sarah Markley encouraged me to make a list, Ann VosKamp encouraged me to make it a lifestyle, Sara "Gitz" Frankl challenged me to make it my legacy.

Choosing Joy infiltrates everything I do- and when I don't choose my choice- it is an absence keenly felt. Christmas has often been a time that I have, in the past, allowed the chaos to steal my joy. I'm learning through that and choosing differently this year.

Part of doing that is allowing you the blessing of being blessed by some of the influencers in my life, and how they prepare for a Abba-honoring holiday season.

To start off our season, please welcome one of my favorite writers, Teri Fitch Johnson:

Less Is More

It was traditional and customary to receive many gifts for Christmas in our family growing up. I can remember my mom saying many times, “This year will be different, less gifts.” BUT, that never seemed to happen – I remember opening many gifts Christmas Eve and having a stocking overflowing with gifts when I woke up on Christmas Day.

In additional to the gifts we remembered the “Reason for the Season” – we were involved in church, the Christmas musicals, concerts, services and after our family dinner on Christmas Eve, before we opened the bulk of our gifts, we would gather around and read the Christmas story as a family. It was special. We had our tradition.

Of course, I wanted to carry that tradition into my own family, once I was married and had my own kids. I did for the first 5 years of my oldest son’s life – but then there was a hiccup. Divorce. The tradition became no-tradition and an opportunity to discover something new that would work for my “family.”

That’s when I made the decision we could be un-traditional and traditional.

Un-traditional: We would celebrate when we could. It’s not about celebrating on the “day” – sometimes, we were not all together on Christmas Eve/Day. One year we pretended that New Years Eve was Christmas Eve and New Years Day was Christmas Day since the boys were with their dad for Christmas. We improvise.

Traditional: Less is MORE. Christmas will always be about the true reason, celebrating Jesus’ birth, and we {give} receive 3 gifts…just as baby Jesus received from the 3 wise men.

“They entered the house and saw the child in the arms of Mary, his mother. Overcome, they kneeled and worshiped him. Then they opened their luggage and presented gifts: gold, frankincense, myrrh.” - Matthew 2:11

I love our un-traditional/traditional Christmas – it’s been working for us since 2006.

It’s stress-free. It’s meaningful.

It’s not about a lot of GIFTS – Christmas is about the ONE priceless gift that God blessed us with, Jesus.

Teri is the President and Founder of Keeping it Personal (www.keepingitpersonal.com). She is a writer, a published author of the book, Overcoming the Nevers, a speaker and sought-after personal growth expert who enjoys great conversations while sipping coffee, photography, and soaking up as many sunsets as she can. Teri is passionate about helping others as an encourager and a cheerleader to many. The author lives a joy-filled life, deeply devoted to her husband, her two boys, and her relationship with God. Connect with Teri at www.terijohnson.com or socially on Facebook:http://fb.com/keepingitpersonal http://fb.com/terijohnson.writes Twitter: http://twitter.com/keepitpersonal

Preparing for Joy: Choosing My Choice

2011-12-01T07:41:00.000-08:00

Choosing Joy among the Christmas Craziness:

1. Tree hunting with my family
2. Charlie Brown Christmas {even on repeat}
3. Mt Bestie is only a phone call away
4. Fisher Price Nativity Set
5. Warm Sugar Cookies

It's 10:30 a.m. where I live, and even among the boxes and piles and chaos and screaming laughter of my playing children, I have found JOY. Because I'm looking for it. I choose to look for it and I find it.

I've believed for quite some time that stress begets stress: if you are "stressed out" things look worse than they really are, and you find more and more to be stressed out about.

What if we woke up each morning purposing to choose joy?

Would our lives be easier?

I propose that yes, the would.

Our problems will not disappear, but they WILL be put in perspective.
Our children will still be...well... kids, but in choosing joy we will find {somewhere} the sense of humor to deal with them with grace and kindness... and maybe even laughter.
The tree won't put itself up, but we could smile and remember, reflect on the origin of the ornaments and the ghosts of Christmases past that seem to embed themselves in the tissue and tubs, releasing a fresh wave of precious memories.
The bills may make things tighter than tight {as too many warm sugar cookies may make our pants} but if we are searching for JOY the amount of our spending might just change, shift, to gifts of creativity and heart, rather than the "latest thing" {and maybe you won't feel you "need" that extra cookie}.

What Christmas chaos do you hope to lessen {or at least change your perspective on} by CHOOSING JOY?

6. Guest posters
7. Kids' giggles as they play well together
8. My kids home together
9. Remembering each time I type it that C.S. Lewis "hated" the word "kids" used for children, though he used it himself, and imagining Jack scowling at me over my casual use of it.
10. Laughing at loud when I realize that you all know I think of such things... on a regular basis
11. Terri and Susan and others who are purposing to fill their Facebook statuses will JOY {will you join them... us?}
12. My first Christmas card in the mail- from the woman who introduced me to the Christ
13. My blog friends that send me notes and leave me questions and encourage me along the way- You are a blessing!

What brings you JOY?

Preparing for Joy: Untangling Christmas

2011-11-30T11:30:00.000-08:00

I love the holidays. {I'll say it again.} I LOVE the holidays.

But my ENFP brain gets very easily distracted, and so all of my amazing plans become an overwhelming to-do list and a cluttered half-decorated home. Two years ago only half of my cards were sent out because I kept forgetting stamps. Last year we didn't put up half of our decorations... Oh wait. That was because of Hurricane Grace. Seriously. Have you MET my daughter?

She's cute, but she is TROUBLE in all the best ways.

Earlier this year Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice released Untangling Christmas an ebook from the Queen of Organization {Karen} and the Queen of Hospitality {LeAnn}.

Filled with practical tips, spiritual inspiration, and printable charts {!!!!}, Karen and LeAnn take the mystery out of having a simple, organized Christmas. Their plan? To help you be "blessed not stressed" this Christmas.

From UntanglingChristmas.org:

This practical go-to guide will empower you to:

-Evaluate your current seasonal strategies (or lack there-of!) and identify re-occurring holiday hassles.
-Set up a simple Christmas Planner designed to enable you to be on top of the holidays, rather than the other way around!
-Acquire fast and frugal decorating tips and creative, but simple, gift-giving ideas.
-Whip up delicious holiday foods – both the “from scratch” sort dear Grandma would have made and other simple, short-cut recipes for when time is tight.

Untangling Christmas is available on Kindle, Nook, as a PDF download for $5.99 and as a spiral-bound book for $14.99.

Whether you are trying to turn over a new leaf in the way you celebrate, or are looking for some sanity in your holiday preparations, this easy to use inspiring book will make you laugh, remind you to reflect, and provide you with the tools you need to have an imperfect, but untangled Christmas.

*I have not been compensated for my honest review, but I have been entered to win a Kindle Fire.*