A Pious Man

Die Hard is perfect, part 2

2015-12-22T06:02:00.000-08:00

This is a continuation of my post on why Die Hard is such a perfect movie. I suggest starting there.

Dialogue, Character, and Plot

Every line in the movie adds to the film. Nothing is wasted. And if there is something, I can't see it. Yes, there's a reason I'm not breaking this up, mainly the dialogue feeds into both the character and the plot ... and because character adds an extra dynamic to this plot.

The first scene alone does so much, it's stupid. Remember, the scene is John McClane talking to the passenger next to him on an airplane. It gives him a reason to be shoeless during the movie, and establishes his profession, and is already adding to his character by both giving us his CV in a smooth, effortless way. It establishes his anxiety about flying, giving him a cute character trait. Also, it already shows us just how much of a smartass he can be... McClane's shoeless wardrobe "choice" in the film leads into a brilliant, brilliant moment that deeply hurts him later on.

We've already covered how the Rolex adds to the plot, and that was all covered in three lines of dialogue -- it both underscores Ellis' pursuit of Holly, struts it before John McClane, and dangles this metaphorical gun in front of the audience's face without anyone realizing how integral ANY of it actually is. Ellis, who has few lines in the movie, serves many functions. One, his presence gives a counterpoint to McClane's actions throughout the film -- no matter how many gunman McClane takes out, he's still only one person. Ellis is one of the many realists in this film, but the only one who is among the hostages.

Ellis' strutting egomania, his coke problem, and his focus on Holly all culminates in the pinnacle of his arc. His egomania and his drug problem drive him to try and negotiate with Hans and company -- he thinks he can talk them down, give them what they want, and they can all go home. And while he gives them McClane's name and occupation, Ellis makes it a point to spin the story that he brought McClane to the party, and there is no mention of Holly. For such a minor character, Ellis provides a lot.... even though giving up John's name will eventually lead to Holly. And his death is one of the few things that hurts McClane.

And that's a secondary character. Maybe even tertiary.

Dialogue establishes a lot in this movie. It establishes Mr. Takagi's character and backstory with Hans' first speech, and adds an emotional blow to Takagi's death. The offhand lines about needing the FBI, and "it's all part of the plan" feed into the turning point of the film, and a mystery that is on par with any twist by Mission: Impossible, Leverage, or Jeffery Deaver. In fact, I would say that Deaver was warped by Die Hard.

A lot of things in the second half of this movie are almost perfect mirrors to stuff from the first half. The conversation between John and Holly in (what I think is) her private bathroom leads directly to a conversation that is the turning point of the film... which is also in a bathroom. McClane is at his lowest point. He's been wounded physically and emotionally. It's the flip side of the earlier conversation with Holly, and while it's depressing, it has a point, and also accomplishes much. McClane's relationship with the LAPD Sgt. Powell, outside of the building comes to a head, and it leads directly to the punchline.

Dialogue, and the Little Touches

And there are aspects that are not major, massive plot points, but are little things. It was Michelangelo, I think, who said that trifles make perfection, and that perfection is no trifle. In the case of Die Hard, it's the small things that add a surprising amount of character to people who serve some very basic functions.

Heck, just look at the character shown in Hans' merry band of killers, and the LAPD, who are most assuredly the most basic part of this endeavor.

For example, look at "Karl." He's the Bond Villain sidekick of this film. But the first time we see him is carrying a chain saw, about to cut the phone cables for the building...and he's competing against another gunman, who's trying to either bypass the alarm for the building, or cut the phone system via a more elegant, less brutal fashion, I could never tell. But you could tell from that scene alone that the two gunman are brothers, and that the death of the younger brother by McClane (the first gunman he kills), drives Karl throughout the film, giving him solid reasons for actions that are detrimental to Hans and his plans.

Then there's the terrorist who sets up shop in a confection stand, bringing out piles upon piles of gun magazines .... and grabs a candy bar.

Then there's Theo, the Hacker. Who gambles, likes sports and sports analogies, and takes his computer job seriously, yet treats everything else with a sense of levity. He's dour and serious about breaking into the computer and the building's vault, but cracks jokes as he coordinates the gunmen to shoot and blow up a bunch of cops.

And then there's the chauffeur, Argyle, whose presence in the film is almost comic relief -- whether we're laughing at his obliviousness to the situation, or his line to the stuffed animal to "shut up," and even his little victory over Hans' hacker.

Conclusion

Obviously, I can go on forever about this movie (as though I haven't already), but let's face it, it's a good film with lots of little things thrown in that make it a great movie. Notice, there are a whole bunch of things I didn't mention that are also writing moments.

Such as?

Hans and McClane, face to face, giving the audience a much-needed confrontation between hero and enemy...

Enough C4 to Orbit Arnold Schwarzenegger..."Heinrich had the detonators"... all feed into the finale...

Why Hans is possibly the most quotable movie villain ever. He's cultured, he's educated, he's well dressed, he reads all the "right" magazines, and he's such a cold-blooded, callous murderer...

How Die Hard also has elements of parody, going after both the media and the FBI.

There's a lot here, but this article is almost two thousand words long already. Though I think there's no denying that Die Hard could be used to teach writing classes.

Why Die Hard is the most perfect movie ever: A Writing Blog

2015-12-22T06:00:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to do this for a while now, but Die Hard is a perfect movie.

Seriously, perfect. From almost every angle. Writing-wise, it's a textbook marvel of how to write. Cinematically, it's perfectly shot. Acting wise, it's pitch perfect.

Let me show you what I mean. At least writing-wise. I'm not sure I'm good enough to do this for cinematography, but I may give it a shot later on. I started writing this expecting to go over everything I mentioned, but I may not be able to. There's a LOT to cover in one topic alone. In fact, I'm going to break up this blog into two parts. Maybe three. Also, there will be a Christmas short story launching today: Deck the Maul.

And obviously, spoiler alert.

Quotable Quotes

We all know that the dialogue is brilliant. If Die Hard is not the most quoted and quotable film out there, it's probably in the top ten list. Tell me you can't see the exact moment, or fill in the blanks of all of the following...

In German: "Karl, schieß dem Fenster."

".... and father of five."

"Happy Trails _____"

"Boom! Two points!"

"I'm going to count to three. ________ there will not be a four."

"Rumor is that Arafat buys his there."

"What kind of _____ are you?" "Who said we were ______?"

"No Relation."

"We're going to need some more FBI guys."

"I don't want ______ I want dead."

"HHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSS. Why'd you have to __________?"

"That man looks ________." "He's alive. Only John _________"

And, of course, "Yippie Kay Yay, _________"

We all know that. However, what I mean is how well the Gun in Act One is utilized. Don't know what I mean? Also called Chekov's Gun.

Chekov's Gun

Basically, if you're going to fire a gun in act three, you show the gun in act one. Conversely, if you show the gun in act one, you better follow up on it in act three. It's a basic plot point, and basic setting up said point. You take an item you show early on, and you whip it out as a plot point in the last round.

Agatha Christie did it a lot -- showing you something constantly, and revealing that it's of dire importance to the solution of the mystery.

In the case of Die Hard, small, little things impact the plot all over the place. Everything from the cocaine problems of Gary Ellis to a simple stupid Rolex watch. Don't believe me? Let's review a few things.

If you remember the story, NYPD officer John McClane heads over to LA to visit his separated wife Holly for Christmas at her place of business. Using the computer that runs the building, he has discovered that his wife is going by her maiden name. He also finds that she has a sleezy suitor, Gary Ellis -- Ellis has a bit of a drug problem, and is lusting after Holly. Then terrorists take over the building.

And every single sentence of that paragraph is integral to the plot.

Obviously, the terrorists and McClane heading over to LA are the plot, but everything else feeds into it.

Holly using her maiden name seems like a petty relationship problem, but using her maiden name keeps her alive, even after the terrorists find out who McClane is. In a fit of frustration, early in the film, Holly slams down her family photo ... which is a good thing, because the leader Hans takes over her office, and doesn't realize who she is until the last act.

The fact that the computer runs the building is the only way that the terrorists can take total control over an entire skyscraper.

Ellis' drug problem escalates as the movie goes on, making him take a risky chance with Hans that will cost him his life ... but at the same time, his desire for Holly keeps him from turning her over, and Ellis even makes it a point to stress that he didn't give Holly up. Before the terrorist takeover, Ellis shows off that he gave Holly a Rolex ... which became the second-to-last "gun" fired in the entire movie. If you remember the film, you might remember that Ellis' watch kills Hans, and saves the day.

If you don't remember how the watch saves the day, that's one thing I'm NOT going to spoil.

To be continued in PART TWO.

We Three Kings, Pianoguys style

2015-12-19T09:02:00.000-08:00

Christmas Music Blog!

Enjoy.

Lindsay Stirling's "What Child Is This"

2015-12-18T08:30:00.000-08:00

Christmas Music. After yesterday, I might only do these for a while.

Enjoy.

Christmas Music: Silent night

2015-12-08T07:30:00.000-08:00

In case you're wondering "Why are you doing yet ANOTHER music blog?" It's because I've been whacked by Jury Duty. Yay.

Hopefully, updates are to follow.

Be well all.

Coyote Christmas, a Story by Twitter

2015-12-05T08:30:00.000-08:00

So, what's going on today?

Today, on the twitter feed, there will be a new short story. It'll start at about noon, and end at four. At the end of the day, all of the story will end up here, but if you want to know about it first, you'll have to visit twitter -- the twitter link is at the right side of the page.

So, subscribe while you can. The party will start soon.

This story takes place in the twitter feed of Sean AP Ryan. A security consultant, a mercenary, and someone who is possibly quite, quite mad. He has faced people who are NOT Fred Phelps of the WBC. He has dangled someone off of the Empire State Building. He has bargained his way out of an LA jail. And this is just in the short stories that have appeared on this site. (Linked to in the left hand column.)

The story is finished! Read below the break

Coyote Christmas, a Story by Twitter

The following is from the twitter feed of Sean AP Ryan. Security consultant. Events occur in modified real time.

New client! Tiffany Stacker, Fullerton. She has $ and a problem with the neighbors. Sounds good to me. Muahaha

Humming Angels We Have Heard On High, mostly to keep from killing something. Tackiest gated community ever! Where are the pink flamingos?

Homes are pretentious. Big, trimmed in silver, columns in front of their doors … Drug dealers watching Miami Vice have better taste

Their gate has nothing No electrical shock, or motion sensors. If they think they need my expertise, they need to up their system.

Holy heck, is that a frigging coyote?

Yup, coyote. We had a brief stare down. I think we came to an agreement. Back to work

The door chime is a full orchestra Chorus of the Bells. Oh look, Christmas time, we have to show off who has the most toys. God save me.

Butler doesn't like me. Go figure. Can't guess how I infiltrated the community. after that supermax with the MS-13 guy, this is easy.

MS-13: Mara Salvatrucha. An LA / Latino gang that could give Al-Qaeda a bad headache.

This family has more dollars than sense. Foyer carpet too expensive to be near muddy boots / door. This may not be fun.

Jeeves looks like he wants to grab a can of Raid and spray me like the pest I am. Decided that would be uncouth. Gone to fetch his masters.

“His masters.” I would be better off if I cut back on the PG Wodehouse.

The client, Tiffany Stacker: bleached botoxed, augmented. Well past her exp date. She has as many original parts as 60s Disney animatronics

People outside the community are "picking on poor little boy.” Either TS spawned late in life, or hiding a middle-age loser in the basement.

Don't kill the client. I should charge her for gas mileage. Considering I basically drove an armored Hummer, that would teach her.

Calling me a rent-a-cop is like calling a mushroom cloud a really neat special effect.

Private security means that I protect against actual threats; threats that I can touch and get my hands on … preferably around their throats

Outside the house and halfway down the block. Calm now. Few people had ever heard O Come, All Ye Faithful hummed angry.

Ask me to play “pest control,” will you? Fumigate your own bloody children. Grrr.

Annoying little yappy dog that thinks it's a Doberman. New York street rats could take out this little ball of fluff and fury.

Coyote darted from bushes, grabbed dog in jaws, and RAN. I knew I liked that coyote for a reason.

At car … found someone else's car trashed. 90's Japanese POS I wouldn't be caught dead in. It would be crap against bullets. That'll hurt.

Ran into old friend: Fullerton author. Still cleaning up after that visit. Not my fault some people just leave their explosives lying around

Trashed car happens “Every once in a while,” when momma cuts off guy's marijuana allowance. The guy? Spawn of Tiffany Stacker.

Author & Friends can't join up and beat this sucker so hard, they find him detoxing in the gutter. Two reasons: one "my soul'd get sticky"

Reason 2: Car owner a (legal) immigrant. If anything happens to Mommy's Precious Little Boy, author's friend will be deported

Hmm … Are these people big fish, or is this a small pond? Author's answer: “I wouldn't say we're a pond, really. None of us are very coy.”

Considering that this is a standard POS model older than me, thus author's friend isn't well off. Also, a crappy car with a shiny radio. Hmm

Yes, I am all kinds of perceptive.

My point: wrecking a car steals most of her food money for months. Author's friend doesn't have two nickels to rub together, & he stole one.

Yeah, I'm pissed off now. When I'm done, he'll wish that he HAD been left in a gutter somewhere.

Righteous indignation? No. I drove all the way out here, might as well do something fun. Yes, my "fun" is some people's "mass murder." Heh.

Author looked me up. Asked if I'd blow up the whole community, or just small parts of it. I must find those leaks and plug them

Stacker's 1st reply on seeing me? “Don't rape me!” Please, I have standards. Give her my "hostage negotiator" smile. See if that'll work

I'm a 5'6” in Hollywierd, she thinks I approve of bullies? I want her kid arrested, in jail, then rehab, and not the Lindsay Lohan plan.

Detcord around Christmas tree = awesomeness. And property damage. A Lexus and an Aston Martin dead. Score! She said do my worst ....

Saw author again. I ruined one of her takes A trailer for her book. "Actors" paid in tacos, apparently

I ruined her trailer filming because “That explosion was you, wasn't it?” Heh. I don't self-destruct. Don't believe the internet rumors.

Curses, video on Youtube. Damn, now I need to threaten someone who owns YouTube. Google, isn't it? Hmm, did they get my good side?

The author's answer: “Well, it was hard to tell. You were covered in ash at the time.” Ah, that one. Good times.

Apparently, it's not a Christmas tree. It's a 'holiday tree.' Gated communities have planning committees. Grr.

Oh look, cops. Gee whiz, I wonder what caught their attention.

I'm out. Payback time.

Author suggest cat treats. They are “coyote crack.” Good to know, but why is she telling me?

Her answer: “the more I help, the less property damage you'll cause.” Yeah, keep thinking that

Charlie Stacker (the son) looks like he's from an Occupy Wall Street rally: college age neo-hippie, all of his clothes bought from Old Navy.

The Son on one side of a fence, smothered in cat treats, bound in Detcord. Coyotes finally showed up. Time to chat

I “wouldn't dare” touch him. His' mommy'd sic the federal government on me. Maybe if I hadn't handed Israeli's a terrorist plot recently …

He doesn't want to go to jail, or rehab. I knew the family was stupid; but this is qualifying for a Darwin award. It's feeding time!!!

Darn coyotes won't eat him. Fun fact: coyotes don't eat the bodies of meth users. And, he has an empty house on his iPhone address book

Fourth coyote is staring at me while the others lick the cat treats up. Okay, he can tag along, but can't eat anyone unless I say. Period

Meth labs smell to high heaven, thus many are in rural areas, where other people can't take a whiff; and they can very easily be blown up.

A foreclosed house in the middle of a cluster of foreclosed houses = meth lab.

Found house. It has a guard. Tossed cat treat at guard's feet, and coyote won't go. Looking at me like I'm stupid. Thanks a lot.

Took out meth lab guard myself with the tactical baton. He has MS13 tats all over him. WTF have I gotten into THIS time?

Apparently, using illegal female sex slaves to make your meth cuts down on your risk of being blown up or poisoned by the gasses. #HulkSmash

Half a million dollars in property damage later. I feel better. Illegals cut a deal. Arrests soon now. Current tune: O Come All Ye Faithful.

The author likes my armored Hummer. She's taking notes. She's cute. Though I'm not in the market to train a new girlfriend.

Yes, I said train! Training someone to handle a gun proficiently takes work. I can rely on my girlfriend for cover fire.

Crap! People are shooting at me. MS13 has a good response time. ARs with barrel drum magazines. 200-300 shots per. God bless armored cars.

I have enough weapons in the trunk to level the surrounding area. I don't think I can talk my way out of a collateral-heavy counterstrike.

I hope this next trick works. Before you throw grenades, you throw rocks.

I tossed a bag of cat treats. Coyote jumped one gunman, I shot the other in the knees. Bad gangbanger. Sit. Stay.

FAQ: Yes, I threw someone off the Empire State Building, attached to a bungee cord. He's just lucky I remembered to attach it this time.

Hmm, apparently, a terrorist attack in Bethlehem – only a Palestinian Authority security guy had been killed.

Always nice to do a favor for someone.

Current tune: Angels We Have Heard on High, at max volume, to counter the noise of pounding from the trunk.

The MS-13 shooter in the trunk is getting annoying. When I find out who sent him, he'll be home for Christmas. In very small boxes.

Christmas Music blog: Cruxshadows, O Holy Night

2015-12-03T09:57:00.000-08:00

Yes, another version.

But it works.

Christmas Music Blog: Oh, Holy Night

2015-12-01T10:49:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again.

That's right. It's CHRISTMAS TIME.

Or at least it will be when Cyber Monday is over.

Black Friday Book Shopping list.

2015-11-16T09:21:00.000-08:00

Once again, Christmas decorations went on sale in August. August! ARRGGHH.

Anyway, black Friday is coming, and we must be prepared. This is yet another list to make your shopping lives easier -- for Black Friday, or for the upcoming Cyber Monday. I've reviewed some of these books (links attached), and others are new even to me, but have come recommended to me. You might want to try some of these items below.

A Pius Man: A Holy Thriller -- of course I'd start with my own novel. It's surprisingly well reviewed, no one hates it (yet, give me time), where I take the war to Dan Brown, and every other nimrod who thinks they can write bad history in a thriller and get away with it.

A Pius Legacy: A Political Thriller -- The villains who survived A Pius Man have decided that some payback is involved. Step one? Kidnap the Pope. Then the fun really starts. Surprisingly, this one had better reviews than the first.... also fewer. Anyway, please buy the book already. Thank you.

A Pius Stand: A Global Thriller (UPDATED, yes, this wasn't here last time.): The end of the trilogy. Saving the Pope has consequences. And army. A war. And no quarter given. It's time to finish the fight.

And, while I"m doing this.....

Codename: Winterborn .... the "other" novel, also strangely well reviewed. Genre: character-driven scifi espionage. While on a mission to the Islamic Republic of France, Lt. Kevin Anderson's team is betrayed by the politicians who sent them. As the only survivor, Anderson must stop the senators involved before the next team is slaughtered on the altar of political greed. He's certain he won't survive, but he will make this sacrifice, for his Codename is Winterborn. I recommend this for all fans of Baen novels -- like John Ringo, David Weber, and even your straight up thriller writers, like Vince Flynn, Brad Thor, et al.

On with everyone else.

Several of the following books you may have seen before. Trust me, there's a reason they made one of my top reading lists.

Murder in The Vatican: The Church Mysteries of Sherlock Holmes -- if you've been reading my blog for a long time, you know that I loved this one, and I can't possibly recommend it enough.... and then there's The Watson Chronicles, which is even better. The only books I will recommend over my own, and I'm told my books are pretty awesome, so, yeah...

The Book of Helen -- dang, this was a kickass little novel. The West Wing meets the Trojan war, this novel goes beyond the "they all lived strangely ever after" of Helen of Troy, and follows the rest of her life after she came home from Troy. Yes, Helen did have an "after Troy." You know the mythology, and now, this is the rest of the story.

Ordinance 93: I've reviewed this book, I've interviewed this author, and I somehow still haven't mentioned her on the blog yet. Ordinance 93 is a thriller that sort-of centers around abortion. It's not really a pro-life book, despite how I referred to it in the Examiner posts. It's a very long story, but if you're interest, check out the review. It would take too long otherwise.

Mind Over Mind -- The short version? "No, he's not crazy, aliens really are messing with his brain." Then there's Mind Over Psyche, which feels like CS Lewis' science fiction trilogy. Then again, Karina was already involved with a scifi-anthology, so, yeah...

Greater Treasures -- Imagine the Maltese Falcon with dragons. Nuff said.

Stealing Jenny, by Ellen Gable: After 5 miscarriages, Jenny is about to have a pregnancy come to full term... until a psychotic woman kidnaps her and chains her in her basement with the intention of taking the child for her own. I liked this one.

Amy Lynn: You can read my review right here.

Night Machines by Kia Heavey .... this one was interesting. Almost Doctor Who-ish by way of Rod Serling.

And, of course, there is an endless list of books I can recommend, which happen to be a different tab at the top of the page -- includes Flynn, Ringo, Weber, Thor, etc, etc.

Now, as far as books I haven't looked at yet.... [Below the break.]

Tears of Paradox, by Daniella Bova.

In the not so distant future, Michelle hides in the shadowy cornfields of rural Pennsylvania, waiting for her unborn child, targeted by the untouchables who have assumed absolute power . Michelle’s husband, Jason, remains in their hometown, struggling against overwhelming odds to keep his wife and child from being found.

The blue-collar Catholic couple have already endured numerous losses, including that of a baby son, born under mysterious circumstances. This pair of childhood sweethearts and their family and friends have always stuck together, but the storms of transformation turn everything upside down. Friendships disintegrate, fathers and sons become enemies, and trust is a thing of the past. The ways of traditional America have gradually become what those in power term evil. What used to be evil is now the law, strictly enforced by the bureaucracy, and for ordinary people there is no middle ground; you either play or pay.

Deviation from government policy will land you in jail… or worse. Media figures who aren’t part of the power structure begin slowly disappearing, and Jason must depend solely on God to help him save his wife and baby.

Fast Cars and Rock & Roll -- American Graffiti, the book.

The Boys Upstairs: A jaded cop needs to save three homeless children a few nights before Christmas, with temperatures below zero and falling, but the only one he can ask for help is his estranged brother, a crippled priest.

From Roundheel To Revolutionary: Linda Franklin After "Campus Sexpot" by Susan Kaufield

From the author:

Set against the civil rights, antiwar, and feminist movements of the 1960s, From Roundheel To Revolutionary: Linda Franklin After Campus Sexpot follows Linda Franklin as, having in a previous novel renounced the promiscuity of her teen-aged years, she becomes a prominent advocate for women's rights.

She does not have an easy time of it. Her husband, who loves her steadfastly, is nonetheless unconvinced that women need "liberating". When she then publicly rejects U. S. involvement in Viet-Nam, he and his father, who work for a company benefiting from Defense Department contracts, are especially upset.

She is also opposed by some feminists for her focus on individualism, and must contend with the mockery of those in her hometown who remember her wayward period.

The novel is 65-66 thousand words long. It is set in the fictional town of Wattsville , California (near Sacramento ). The book is written in the voice of Susan Kaufield, the older daughter of one of Linda's "conquests" -- the affair which, in the earlier book, was the catalyst for Linda's metamorphosis. There are a few interjections by Betty, the younger daughter.

And this one comes from my acqusitions editor at Damnation: Anarchy Zone Time Yarns

Fatal Rhythm: Latino surgery resident must determine the cause of suspicious deaths to salvage the career he thought he wanted, but in the process must re-examine his religious and ethnic heritage

Chasing Liberty: Chasing Liberty is a dystopian fiction that explores a future where the government has grown too strong. The traditional family is nonexistent, human life loses value, and the earth is elevated above man. It is meant to encourage reflection on what we have, what we stand to lose and why it's worth fighting for.

Hijacked:

Pilot Lannis Parker’s carefully constructed, sterile life is upended when her small plane is hijacked before dawn on a wintry Louisville morning. Her captor does more than force her to fly him to the Appalachian wilderness, though. He resurrects memories she’s tried to bury, memories of a brutal attack she’d survived four years earlier, an attack she didn’t report and tries to pretend didn’t happen.

Wounded, and losing strength by the minute, Ben Martin knows he has no choice but to commandeer a plane before he’s set upon by a ruthless band of drug dealers intent on wiping him out, along with the information he’s acquired. He’s horrified to discover the pilot is a woman—but once his plan is launched, there’s no turning back.

During a week in the wilderness, Lannis learns her hijacker is fair and honorable, compassionate and insightful—strange attributes for a criminal. And when he discovers her secret, he vows to be the friend she desperately needs but refuses to accept.

Will she come to terms with her past? And will he be part of her future?

And a collection by a friend of mine.

Trusting God with St. Therese: Are your fears, weaknesses, doubts, and anger keeping you from intimacy with Christ? Do you struggle with despair? Let St. Therese teach you perfect trust. Learn how Therese of Lisieux trusted God through tragedy, scruples, spiritual darkness, and physical suffering. Connie Rossini pairs episodic stories from the saint’s life with memories of her own quest to trust. With Sacred Scripture, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, and insights from psychology, Rossini leads readers to surrender their lives completely to Jesus. Practical and accessible, Trusting God with St. Therese includes questions for reflection that make it perfect for book clubs and faith-sharing groups. The Catholic Writers Guild awarded it their Seal of Approval

A Special Mother is Born: Parents Share How God Called Them to the Extraordinary Vocation of Parenting a Special Needs Child ... yeah, I think that explains itself.

In Name Only: also by Ellen Gable. It's historical romance... which means you're already interested, or moving onto the next entry.

End of the road, by Amy Bennett: This looks like a fun one, a straight up, old fashioned murder mystery......Corrie Black, owner of the Black Horse Campground, hopes for a successful start to her summer season but the discovery of Marvin Landry, a long-time guest, shot dead in his own RV, along with $50,000 in cash missing, does not herald a good beginning… especially since the victim’s handicapped wife and angry stepson seem to have little interest in discovering who murdered him. Was Marvin’s murder planned or just convenient? And is the appearance of a mysterious biker with a shadowy past that includes a recently deceased wife merely a coincidence? Despite opposition from former flame, Sheriff Rick Sutton, Corrie is determined to find out who murdered her guest. But will she find out who is friend or foe before the murderer decides it’s the end of the road for Corrie?

Palace of the 12 Pillars -- Short version: YA Christian fiction. The long version .... is really long, please follow the link.

Fools, Liars, Cheaters, and Other Bible Heroes... I think the title is self explanatory, don't you?

Hope for the Workplace - Christ in You by Bill Dalgetty. Drawing from extensive experience in business and workplace ministry, Dalgetty examines the challenges faced by Catholics seeking to live out their faith in today's workplace. Readers will discover practical tips for:

Dealing with a difficult colleague or boss

Maintaining integrity and ethics in business decisions

Seeking Excellence in one's work

Balancing family and career

Caring for co-workers

Relying on Scripture, Church teaching, the writings of both Catholic and Protestant leaders, and fifty real-life stories of people in the workplace, God's solutions to these common workplace issues are set forth in a straightforward, conversational style. The author shows how we can accept God's offer to dwell in us and allow the Holy Spirit to empower us to bring hope and transformation to our workplaces. "A very readable and inspiring book for busy Christians who need to overcome a compartmentalized life." Dr. Michael J. Naughton, Moss Chair in Catholic Social Thought, University of St. Thomas Christmas Special Price of $12.95, $2.00 off the regular price of $14.95 on www.zacchaeuspublications.com.

The Life I Dreamed is a Catholic, pro-life novel about a young family living out their faith and their beliefs despite many challenges. It is a story about the struggle to live out one’s faith and values, and about the importance of standing up for them as well. It is truly Catholic and truly pro-life, but at the same time it is a story that mothers the world over can relate to. The Life I Dreamed has been featured in Catholic Digest, on Catholic Lane, and has received the CWG Seal of Approval. This uplifting, yet realistic tale of living an authentically Catholic life in a harsh, difficult world is the perfect gift for any mother in your life. It is a story that entertains and at the same time builds up women in their vocation by honoring and valuing the true blessing that mothers are to their families and to the world.

White Seed. What really happened to the Lost Colony? One of the most haunting mysteries in American history - The Lost Colony of Roanoke - comes roaring back to life in White Seed!

By the Hands of Men, Book One: The Old World. As the Great War rages around them, wounded Lt. Robert Fitzgerald falls in love with Russian nurse Charlotte Braninov. Torn apart by illness and betrayal, they pursue separate quests that take them across a world convulsed by change. From the trenches of France to revolutionary Russia, they learn that hands of men can create a hell on earth – or, through the redemptive power of love, a heaven in which to truly live.

If you have something you'd like to suggest for gifting opportunities, please feel free to mention it below.

Good luck with shopping, everyone.

Who would Norman Osborn Vote For? Election special, the Villain's edition

2015-11-05T06:30:00.000-08:00

Last week, I posted an article that suggested who various and sundry superheroes would vote for.

This week, I think it's time the villains got a shot at it.

Norman Osborn aka: the Green Goblin (Marvel).

One of the most evil bastards in the Marvel universe, Norman Osborn, by day, is a seriously big big business Wall Street CEO. He is a vicious psychopath and merciless killer. Norman Osborn mostly resides in New York City, which makes him a definite shoe-in for a Democratic voter, no matter who the candidate is.

Also, keep in mind that a lot of Wall Street tycoons are supporters to the Democratic party -- John Corzine, Robert Rubin (Goldman Sachs), Citibank, and George Soros (Democrat and Obama's biggest supporter), Brookfield Asset Management, Lehman Brothers (who now work for the Obama Administration).

And can you imagine what Osborn would do with a stimulus package?

VOTE GOES TO: Obama.

Wilson Fisk aka The Kingpin (Marvel)

By day, he is a businessman, though not as big as Norman Osborn in the business world. He is more local in his business interests and his crime. And, in his personal life, he left the crime world and moved to Japan, mostly for his family. He actually stayed out of the crime business for his wife. Only when his family was threatened, and his wife lost to him that he reentered the world of crime. Add to that he spent a lot of time in Japan learning philosophy, martial arts, etc. While you can say many things about the Japanese, their traditional culture is very, very conservative. And, between that and his [relatively] small business interests, Fisk probably comes out as both an economic and social conservative.

VOTE GOES TO: Romney.

Poison Ivy, aka Dr Pamela Isley (DC).

A radical environmentalist, heavy on the mental, Poison Ivy is the ultimate eco-terrorist. She also happens to be bat-guano insane, taking monomania to a whole new level of crazy. A one issue voter, she cares nothing for the "War on Women," since she has already declared the human race something worthy of extinction, and only about environmental issues. Since she makes current Left-wing ecofreaks seem reasonable, she'd probably find the most hard-line environmentalist she can. Barring that, she might actually approve of standard contraception and abortion, since it means fewer people to trample her precious flowers.

VOTE GOES TO: Obama

Harley Quinn, aka Harleen Quinzel.

A former shrink, Harley Quinn went quite mad a while ago, falling for the Joker. She has a long history of tolerating abuse and putting up with whatever his narcissism and whimsy dictates. However, she also had had enough at one point, and shot the little bugger. Her mind would hear the phrase "War on Women" and think "War? What War? Who's shooting?" Her sources of information would rely on either her precious "Mista Jay" or her best friend, Poison Ivy. And, let's face it, Joker would enter a polling place to gas everyone to death, and then vote for Ron Paul.

VOTE GOES TO: Whoever Joker tells her to vote for (see above), or whoever Ivy tells her (see above).

Catwoman, aka Selina Kyle.

A professional thief, Selina would not be the type of person to complain about the 1%. She loves the 1%. After all, without them, who else would she rob? She is also a single mother (or she was, pre-nDCU), so she's not exactly the pro-abortion type, assuming she even dwells on the matter. And, let's face she, she has a tendency to jump the bones of the richest person in town. However, would this make her a Romney voter? Not necessarily.

However, Selina has also occasionally worked as a thief for the federal government, and if she voted, she would vote her paycheck, and go for the guy most likely to invest in defense spending and funding the Company she works for.

Also, Romney might remind her of another rich white conservative she occasionally sleeps with.

VOTE GOES TO: Romney.

[More below the break]

Two Face, aka Harvey Dent.

Harvey has a split personality, in more ways than one. Before he went crazy, Harvey was a prosecutor, which makes him a perfect shoe-in for a Republican voter. However, after he was disfigured with acid, he has a serious problem of making up his mind on anything at all. Almost all binary problems are solved with a flip of a two-headed coin, one side scarred.

VOTE GOES TO: It's a toss up. A coin toss you might say

Penguin, aka Oswald Cobblepot.

The Penguin is a white collar criminal who dabbles in the occasional violent crime. He owns his own bar, deals in information, and assorted (usually) non-violent felonies. This wouldn't come down to policy, but it would boil down to personality. To start with, Penguin smokes, drinks, and is usually in various levels of obesity -- the Michelle Obama health craze would seriously piss him off.

Not to mention, as a white collar criminal, the Penguin would be in the business of tax evasion, and he would probably vote for anyone who threatens to cut taxes.

VOTE GOES TO: Romney

Mister Freeze, aka Dr. Victor Fries.

Victor puts the "mad" in mad scientist, as in "mad as hell and not going to take it anymore," with a touch of "madman" thrown in. A cold personality, Victor has only one real passion in his life, outside of cryogenics, and that is his wife Nora. His entire life is dedicated to restoring her to full health and getting her out of cryogenic suspension. This would probably qualify as being, at base, conservative by desire (shooting for family values of a warped variety), however, his love of his wife has turned into a mania. When love turns into psychosis, it's one of the worst negatives.

On the other hand, Freeze occasionally ends up as an protagonist, sort of, on Batman's side when the situation warrants, so maybe he hasn't been completely warped. So, if we presume that his values haven't been completely distorted beyond all recognition, the psychotic bits may not be that important.

Also, Freeze is also European in background, so we can probably figure him for either very left wing or very right wing, there are no real middle grounds in European politics. So, figure him for more right wing.

VOTE GOES TO: Romney? Maybe?

Nonstarters

These are nonstarters in general, and I couldn't really scrounge up enough of these folks for their own entry. They are both heroes and villains. And, while I would have loved to title this post "WWJVF: Who would Joker vote for," well, he's not really that complicated.

Joker -- As noted, he's probably kill everyone in the polling place, and vote Ron Paul.

Lex Luthor -- Would vote for himself. He was President once, after all.

Wonder Woman -- won't vote, since both candidates are men with no military service. Maybe if Hillary ran......

Thor -- Not a citizen, and therefore, can't vote. Can I can see him voting for Paul Ryan .. not Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan.

Loki -- As a demigod of chaos, you can almost lay money that he would have organized Occupy Wall Street. But, again, not a citizen

Peter Parker, aka Spider-Man -- as a New Yorker, he would vote Obama, but it wouldn't matter, because he would approach the polls, hear sirens, and webswing away to the rescue, and remain busy until the polls closed. He would then walk home in a slump because he couldn't do what he wanted to. He would then retire from being Spider-man for five minutes, or five issues, whichever came first. Then he makes a deal with Mephisto so that the last few decades of voting never happened the way everyone remembers.

Music blog, Batman: Evolution

2015-11-03T13:01:00.000-08:00

The Catholic Geek: Fred Hembach on Alternate History 11/01 by We Built That Network | Books Podcasts

2015-11-01T15:19:00.001-08:00

The Catholic Geek: Fred Hembach on Alternate History 11/01 by We Built That Network | Books Podcasts

Music blog: All Soul's Night

2015-10-30T23:13:00.000-07:00

This was is just perfect for Halloween. Muahahaha.

Catholics, politics, and the world.

2015-10-22T09:45:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm going to do politics again, but probably from an angle you wouldn't expect. You might even enjoy it, because it's a trip into the twilight zone.

I know the American populace has been credited with the memory retention of your average house fly, but still, you'd think there have to be limits. For example, does anyone remember when Mitt Romney was considered way too liberal to be nominated for the Republican presidential nominee? Now, he's being cast as an evil, right-wing psychopath that makes George W. Bush look reasonable. What alternate reality have I fallen into?

Now, granted, Romney is different from the moderate we got last time, Senator John "Mumra" McCain, who was perfectly moderate, and perfectly boring. Romney's only real conservatism seems to lie in his being fiscally conservative, and that's on a good day, but that's still more than John McCain had .... and Romney also looks like he has a pulse, though that is a more recent development.

Now, keep in mind, I'm a New Yorker. If I'm not in the most Left-wing city in the United States, it's in the running for the position. So, I get daily reports and updates about why people are voting for who they're voting for, even though I really would rather smother them so I can be left alone.

However, since no one will leave me alone, here are some thoughts.

#1) Romney is not going to be touching abortion, contraception, birth control, in any significant way. Sorry, but it's the truth. No one is going to, no one can, and therefore it is an irrelevant issue. At this point in time, you'd need an act of law to alter the way any of that is currently functioning, and I can't see any congress voting that way, do you? Even if Republicans took over the entire house and senate, please realize that there are such things as pro-choice Republicans, even if there is no such thing as a pro-life democrat.

#2) You have the right to tell no one to shut up. Everyone has a right to their opinions. You may not share that opinion, but may not like their opinion, but you have no right to issue death threats. You can do what everyone else does, and walk away. Insults are also a waste of your time. A friend or mine has basically declared "every woman who votes for Romney is stupid!!!!" Now, since the candidates are tied for women voters, that is a really bad move, and will alienate all those who you could have won over. You lost them, kiss the votes goodbye.

#3) Considering that the key issues this year seem to be about the economy or foreign policy, making a play for social issues is a fairly obvious play at changing the subject. That was a problem I had with Rick "I believe in the Devil!" Santorum. Most religions believe in devils, demons, what have you, but to make a public statement about your belief during a Presidential run is just so irrelevant, and boils down to "What does that have to do about anything?" And, now, that seems to be a running theme -- ignore everything else that is taking precedence, or taking place, and focus on something shiny over somewhere else.

Can you tell that I'm tired of living in spin?

Maybe we can have an honest debate where everyone tells the truth, no one interrupts each other, and the audience can shot the moderator if they become too annoying.

And maybe pigs will fly.

I Have an Evil Plan, with Zahn, Ringo, and David.

2015-08-27T08:10:00.000-07:00

Holidays are generally not great days for my blog traffic. This upcoming labor day, that's a good thing, because I'm going to be at DragonCon.

Yes, DragonCon, in beautiful downtown Atlanta, Georgia. You can check out their guest list here.

I intend to enjoy myself, and unleash my evil plan.

Okay, it's not necessarily evil, but it should be interesting.

For newcomers, It Was Only On Stun! is a murder mystery at a science fiction convention. And, since I've published this bloody book mostly through my own stubborn efforts, I'm going to try selling as much as possible, and one thing that would help would be blurbs from authors, giving me positive reviews. Really positive reviews.

In short, I hope to give a copy of my book to Peter David, Timothy Zahn, and John Ringo. Why these authors? You mean aside from the fact that they are all kick-ass writers, and popular in the science fiction community?

Peter David and John Ringo have a similar sense of humor to mine ... or I developed my sense of humor by reading them, pick one. I find Ringo inspiring, and David usually entertaining, when he's not putting his politics into it.

Timothy Zahn is "only" an amazing author, and most likely responsible for resurrecting Star Wars as a franchise (sadly, the book franchise might be the only reason Lucas felt comfortable trying the prequel trilogy. Bonus: Zahn has gone everywhere that Lucas has, and has outperformed the little sot.)

Right now, my major hope for the convention is that I don't have security sicced on me for trying to hand an author a novel. Signed, of course.

On the plus side, I know Peter David has out-and-out advocated this procedure, so I can at least tell him that I'm only following his own advice.

On the other hand, if Zahn found it creepy, he could call the 501st Imperial Stormtrooper Legion (see my Sean Ryan Trailer.).

And John Ringo ... well, he's ex-82nd airborne, and legions of his fans are military vets. I really hope he doesn't mind. And that he likes the book.

It's going to be amusing.

SFCS -- Strong Female Character Syndrome.

2015-08-19T06:30:00.000-07:00

I believe it was Stuart West who told me in private correspondence that he appreciated how many strong female characters I have. I was a little thrown there because it took me a moment to figure out what he was talking about.

In my novels, I have Manana Shushurin, who's a spy that's more James Bond than George Smiley. She reads, likes music, has a degree from Wittenberg university .... has no social life, and technically, lives with her mother (technically, I say, because she really lives in her office). She also has a secret that's eating a hole in her life.

I also have Maureen McGrail. She's an Interpol detective, local Dublin cop, relentless, tenacious, and she knows about three martial arts. She's also pining for a guy who came into her life, swept her off of her feet (just by being himself, really) and disappeared, without showing even a hint of romantic interest in her.

Then there's Wilhelmina Goldberg, who is 4'11", computer nerd, daughter of two esoteric languages nerds. She likes science fiction and fantasy, programs her computer to talk like characters out of Lord of the Rings, and has a subscription to Security magazine.

In context, I should point out that Stuart was using the strong female character comment as a segue into a completely different point, an issue he found in my writing. (Apparently, I shouldn't be putting in bust size as far as describing a female character. I neglected to tell Stuart that if I knew anything about clothing, I would probably include men's jacket sizes to paint a clearer, more accurate picture of them, too. But I don't know any men who are the sizes I need. Me? OCD? Nah....)

In any case, the SFC term struck me, and stuck with me.

And then there was this article, entitled I hate Strong Female Characters. If you read through it, you might find a few points to agree with, and a few problems.

Now, I agree with the author on the initial point. I also have problems with the SFC label. I really do, because it tends to detract from, oh, the point. In the example they used of Buffy-- she was smart, witty, with outside the box solutions to non-vampire problems (shall we start with the fertilizer bomb in the high school, or the rocket launcher?). But "Strong" is the only descriptor one can come up with?

In my own work, I spent so much time on developing characters like Manana and Wilhelmina, their quirks and habits and hobbies, that I feel a little awkward if the best description anyone can come up with about them is just "strong."

Though you want my problem with this author?

1) "I want good complex characters!"

.... And then, let's focus completely on Buffy, because she's the STRONG character.... and ignore Willow, who saves the day repeatedly, but is physically as strong as your average anemic? Faith, who's as physically strong as Buffy, but a broken character? How about Cordelia, who starts out a vacuous California mean girl, and becomes more interesting within the first half of season 1? Anya, who goes through a fairly strange character arc of her own?

And, while they're talking about complex characters, they boiled Buffy down to only "SFC." How about witty? Smart? Creative? The example used in the article was the end point of a two-episode arc exposing just how vulnerable Buffy really is. Yes, she's got superpowers, but she's still a teenager, with all the problems that comes with it, in addition to waging a constant war against everything that came to kill her, swallow the Earth, etc. The author managed to ignore the entire point of a two-part story!

Who demands good complex characters! and then ignores them when s/he gets them? If this article had said that the "SFC" label shoved a character into a box and left them there, then I could agree to some degree. But this author seems to be guilty of doing just that.

2) I want a 1:1 ratio of complex characters, male and female!

The author prattles on about Peggy Carter of Captain America: The First Avenger, complaining that she was unbalanced and cartoonish, making a lot of assumptions.

The author mentions that Peggy Carter shooting Captain America's shield is a temper tantrum that no guy would have gotten away with. Obviously, this person never saw the 100 generic Stupid People Tricks that are on cable, and mostly male. The author assumed that in firing, Peggy had been too stupid to not be listening to the toymaker Stark prattle on about his cool toys for however long she'd been in his general orbit. The author also assumed that no one in the entire room knew that the shield was bulletproof-- which is kind of like people in Q's lab not knowing to duck on a regular basis.

The author then insists that this "over-the-top" reaction is because she's one of two women with a speaking part, and there be more women on screen to counter stuff like this. (Which is odd, since I counted four -- which included a grandma with a tommy gun, and a SHIELD agent at the end of the film).

My real problem? First, the author makes these above assumptions and then kvetches that they could have shoe-horned in more women. Why? Just to shoe-horn in more women. So we could have a 1:1 ratio of women in the film. Really?

Hey, maybe we could have put in more cardboard cutouts. Besides, if you really want equality, then Captain America: The First Avenger, was perfectly equal. There were only two complex characters in the whole film. Tommy Lee Jones was playing....Tommy Lee Jones.... Zola was Mad Scientist #2 ... The Red Skull was Psycho Villain #6 ... Eskine was "Dr. Littleoldmun" from Mel Brooks' High Anxiety. And Stark was very much "Howard Hughes Carbon Copy #1." Outside of the sidekick Bucky (Plucky Sidekick #9), are any of Captain America's team referred to by name?

In short, Carter and Rodgers were the only two characters of any substance in the film. This isn't a complaint. I'm sure they were plenty deep in character design, but there was little enough of it on the screen. Not to mention-- it's a movie. If you're Peter Jackson, you get nine hours of films for develop all of your character. If you're a Marvel film, you have, at most two hours and thirty minutes. If you have two well-written and developed characters, you're ahead of the game. I feel fortunate to have one, some days.

But for the 1:1 ratio this author wants?

Maybe this author would have liked more 2D characters. As she suggest, let's gender swap.... Dr. Zola? So we can have a weak, simpering little woman be bullied by Tommy Lee Jones? Dr. Erskine? So we can have a little grandmother figure play the martyr? Hey, we could gender swap Tommy Lee Jones, and have him played by Kathy Bates! Why not have the Red Skull played by Angelina Jolie?

Now, a reasonable argument I got from Karina Fabian is from the point of view that, there were certainly a heck of a lot more women in the WW2 military than were seen in the film. There were secretaries, WACs, women who transported planes, codebreakers, nurses, etc. That way, we could have had a lot of women.... but they would have been in the background, and probably would have completely boiled away this author's argument.

3) Women are at the back of the bus...um, movie poster, like Black Widow.

"Strong women are supposed to kick ass and keep their mouth shut." Really?

How about, oh, that Black Widow WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO OUTSMARTED LOKI? IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE! GAAAHHHH!!!

How about that BLACK WIDOW WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD CLOSE THE PLOT DEVICE DESTROYING NEW YORK?

How about the fact that there were maybe five deep moments in the entire film, and Black Widow was in two of them (The five moments were Stark and Banner in Lab, Stark and Rodgers reconcile, Coulson, interrogating Loki, and Black Widow and Barton, post-brainwashing....six scenes, if you count Black Widow and Bruce Banner in India, giving her half the deep moments in the film).

Oh, hey, how about Sam Jackson? Maybe we should say The Avengers was racist, because he was in the back of the poster?

I'm sorry, but unless you're Iron Man or Thor, you're in the back of this poster.

4) Where's Thor?

Seriously, where's the movie Thor in this discussion? You know, the movie that was mostly Kat Denning and Natalie Portman handling Chris Hemsworth as he was enduring culture shock? With some occasional exposition from Mr. Skaarsgard? Portman's character, astrophysicist Jane Foster, isn't "strong," in this sense, is she? Because last time I checked, most of my female friends could break her like a toothpick. Foster is instrumental in Thor's change from prick to hero, but is she thrown on the bonfires of the blogger's vanity because she doesn't come with a complete bio and genealogy?

Or does this author consider her merely as a damsel in distress? Which would be odd, because if you were in the New Mexico town in Thor, you were in distress, up to and including the three beefy supporting characters and the Valkyrie that (quite literally) drop down out of the sky.

Or does this not count, because the end of the movie involves the Warriors Three, Odin, and Loki? Making it three more male characters on screen than women? Do we count Freya, who tried to stopped three assassins coming to get Odin? Or because she wasn't on screen that often, should we throw her aside?

While not physically strong, I thought Jane Foster was very well written. She was the love interest, sure, but that love motivated both of them to be better. He was motivated to be a better person, and she was motivated to continue pursuing interstellar/inter-dimensional travel.

Am I wrong? Or, as I asked, does she just not count?

Conclusion: Equality!

As I said at the beginning, I don't like the SFC label. If you can shove my characters into a nice neat little box, I'm going to be pissy -- either at you for demeaning my characters, or at myself for making them cardboard cutouts.

I would have liked this article more if it were less obvious. It's clearly pushing an agenda -- not about creating good characters, but numerical "equality!" for "equality's" sake. By the end, I felt like I was reading a review of 300 that insisted that there should have been 150 female Spartans at Thermopylae (this is not a joke, I did read one of those).

I honestly couldn't tell you the ratio of my characters if you dared me to.

In A Pius Man, I've got Maureen, Manana and Wilhelmina named above as main characters. Is the ratio 1:1 if I include Giovanni Figlia's wife, the forensic specialist?

Is the ratio no longer 1:1 if I count the three priests in the background?

Is it all right if I have Scott "Mossad" Murphy, who can't shoot, is pale, anemic-looking, and pair him up with the sexy gunslinger Manana? Does that make him weak, even though he will take gunfire and is a pivotal part of the book?

Does Wilhelmina Goldberg not count if she doesn't shoot anybody, but is a key part to hunting down the bad guys by the end?

At the end of the day, the SFC label is too simple. But so is reducing "equality" to numbers of people on screen and counting lines. If you're keeping score with 1:1 ratios, exactly what will satisfy you? I have no idea.

Now, if you'll pardon me, I have to go write a scene where Manana has to save Scott. Again.

Gun shop visit

2015-08-11T12:47:00.000-07:00

Margot St. Aubin.

While I was in Chicago, I was offered a visit to a gun range by fellow Catholic blogger, Margot St. Aubin. She had read the Pius trilogy thus far and could see that I wasn't exactly up on guns.

And by that I means I've never seen one off of a cop, and never held one. Welcome to New York City. Screw you, Bloomberg.

Anyway....

So, she offered me a range visit while I was in the area.

I walked in to the gun range, and explained the situation. When I said I was I New Yorker, I used the cop line from above.

Off of that visit .... well, one suggestion for writers: First of all, assume that there are no clips. They are magazines. Period. Few guns actually use clips.

Second, I didn't take any pictures because, really, I'm an idiot. Actually, I'm still not used to the concept of my phone as a tool to document every last event in my life.

Springfield, XD, 9mm. The model I used at the range

Upon my arrival, the store owner was pleasant. He went over the rules of gun safety, most of which I knew. He then went over the gun's operation, some of which I knew. I never really knew what to do with my thumbs when firing, now I know that they go over one side.

I knew about avoiding slide bite (when gripping the gun, make sure the slide doesn't take off skin between your thumb and forefinger).

Squeeze, don't pull. I always knew this rule, just didn't really know how to apply it. Even after firing off some rounds, I'm still not 100% I do.

Don't point at anything you don't intend to shoot at / act like it's loaded all the time... again, I picked that up from many, many thrillers where guns come into play.

What I didn't know were the rules of the individual range. I knew that the slide locked back when the gun was empty, though I didn't know there was a little switch? Button? on the side that slid it back into position after it was reloaded, and automatically filling the chamber.

My stance was a simple weaver stance. Feet are diagonal, gun is cupped in both hands, elbows are not locked out ...

Basically, I learned the stance by watching Jack Bauer on 24.

I started out relatively close, only a quarter of the range, then I moved it halfway down range. I fired 21 rounds, all but 3 landing within the 10 ring (well, I think). When one of the employees saw it, I think the word he used was "fantastic." Or was that the hotel employee who saw me bringing it inside the hotel? I'm not sure. There were a few compliments from complete and total strangers.

Either way, we've got photos.

Some observations.

Brass goes EVERYWHERE. And I mean EVERYWHERE. The casing ejected over my shoulder, around my body, directly onto the floor, bouncing off the stall I was in, rolling as far as 8 feet away, easily. I understand why not every killer polices their brass. It's hard work. And I was standing still. Imagine if it were a running shootout. Oy.

Firing a gun is a lot easier than I thought. Then again, the Springfield that I was using was very easy to operate. It's not quite point and click, but it's close. The grip safety is nothing. It's a button at the back of the pistol grip, just under where it meets the rest of the gun, where the webbing between thumb and index finger wrap around the gun. From what I can tell, the hardest part was putting the bullets into the magazine. Step one, they broad flat part of the bullet goes into the narrow part of the magazine. The pointy-er bit goes towards the open end. And after the first ten bullets, the spring inside the magazine starts to fight back.

Damn, that thing's light. As in toy gun light. The gun owner stripped the barrel off for me and let me hold the frame. The frame is comparable with a squirt gun. The bullets will double the weight. Just over a dozen pill-sized pellets of doom will double the weight. Imagine it. It's strange.

Come to think of it, I think a super soaker, empty, is heavier than an actual gun. Okay, it's been years since I've even seen a super soaker, but you get the idea.

I always heard that the magazine ejection button was behind the trigger, but it's actually on the side of the gun behind the trigger guard.

After firing, there was no smell that I really picked up on. None. Seriously, none. There were three other people firing guns in that range at the same time, and I didn't really pick up on any major scent. I expected a smell akin to a fireworks display. But, apparently, expanded cordite doesn't exist anymore. At all. So, just pretend it doesn't exist. I made reference to it in A Pius Man, but thankfully, I didn't say where the explosive came from, just that it smelled like a fireworks display. Granted, I said it smelled like Cordite, but I might be able to bluff through if I'm called on it.

There are pink AR-15s. Really. It was strange, because I could ID it by sight, despite the pink. I may have been looking at guns too long.

It's official. Guns are not that scary. Also, I may need to rewrite some scenes in future novels.

Thanks once more to Margot for bringing me along. It was awesome.

Author Review: John Ringo, Part 3, the Thrillers. (Still, with Free Books.)

2015-08-09T08:37:00.000-07:00

Here we go again.

As mentioned, John Ringo has written a LOT in the past decade. He's only been writing since 1999, but he's been pumping out almost three to four books a year ever since.

However, despite the previous posts, he hasn't written only political-heavy science-fiction and fantasy novels. But, they're all published by Baen, so they're still free for download.

To start with there's this one character of his who's a navy SEAL ....

The Paladin of Shadows (series)

.... This one is odd.

Ghost --- This first book is made of a series of three vignettes, and stars one Mike Harmon, a veteran who is not a very nice person, but he does qualify as a good man. Ringo opens this book with a quote from George Orwell -- We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to do violence on our behalf.

Mr. Harmon is one such rough person.

“Ghost” is the code name of former Navy SEAL Mike Harmon. Trapped on a far-left college campus, the veteran feels isolated and discriminated against. But when he sees a co-ed being kidnapped, he charges in to save the day, only to find himself in the middle of a terrorist plot that takes him all the way to Syria, where he lands in the middle of a terrorist stronghold, and eighty hostages, all of whom are slated to die.

The second vignette... skim it. Trust me. It's a thirty thousand word story that's twenty thousand words of bondage porn and deep-sea fishing.

Vignette three finds Harmon in Eastern Europe, and he finds himself hip deep in a plot to nuke Paris.

Kildar—Harmon, still moving through Eastern Europe, finds himself trapped in the middle of a valley during a snowstorm. He buys lodging to hold up in during the winter, but this new home comes with an interesting piece of real estate -- the entire valley. The home also comes with a title for the owner. The title is Kildar.

However, Harmon still has a problem. The Valley is in the middle of a pathway for Chechen terrorists killing everyone in their way. Now, Ghost has to train the locals to stop the invaders, or else everyone is going to die.

Unfortunately for the Chechens, killing is what Ghost does best.

Choosers of the Slain: A US Senator has a problem. The daughter of a major money donor has been disappeared into the Balkan sex slave trade. Here's five million dollars, could Harmon and his merry band of mountain warriors do something about the matter?

And when Ghost and company discover that some of the clientele in this sex trade happen to be from Washington D.C. ... well, there's a reason I picked up certain songs from this author.

And, there's a reason that the cover looks like the movie poster for a James Bond film.

Unto the Breach. After the incident with the slave trade, people in Washington figure that Mike "Ghost" Harmon is a great person to call upon when the situation is both dire, and politically inconvenient.

This time, a scientist has been kidnapped by terrorists. The problem? He's an expert in biological warfare.

And that's not even the problem. The problem is when the terrorists follow Harmon home, back into the valley he has lived in for years. But the local people are warriors by culture, and by blood, and they've been itching for a good fight. And all Hell breaks loose.

Remember when I mentioned where I first heard Dragonforce? This was the book.

A Deeper Blue.

Biological weapon at Disneyland, with a shootout at the Holy Rodent Empire.

I think that's all you need to know for this one. It was fun.

The Last Centurion. I'm still not sure what to make of this one. To start with, this is a non-Mike Harmon novel. Technically, it's science fiction, but only because it's set a few years into the future. The United States has invaded Iran, beaten it, and is still there, even though President "the Bitch" has ordered a half-asses withdrawal. This book was published in 2008, so you can guess who he means. The world has been hit with a global pandemic, the Earth is in crisis, and American army officer "Bandit Six" is trapped in the middle of Iran, with no support, no help, and the only way out is through the hostile territories of six countries..

This is a heavily political novel. Ringo WANTS to piss off everyone with SOMETHING in this book—he didn't piss me off, but I'm odd. It's a one-shot, and written in blog format, with all that the genre entails. It was written in early 2008, before Swine Flu, the rise of Obama, and the first 100 pages, you will NOT know what's going on... okay maybe you will, but it took me a few pages to get into this one. He shoots at Fox news, environmentalists, the army, the peaceniks ... pick someone, he shoots at them.

Music to write to: Hi ho Sliver.

2015-08-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

Yes, today's a music blog. It will feature music from the Lone Ranger soundtrack. Thankfully, this has more to do with Rossini than Johnny Depp as Tonto.

Basically, this is the original William Tell overture as filtered through the mind of Hans Zimmer.

Zimmer (or as we call him in my house, simply Haaannnnnsss) can usually make almost any movie better than mediocre. Almost any.

I'm back! Action / Adventure panel at CWCL

2015-08-04T12:45:00.000-07:00

The Catholic Writer's Conference, Live! action-adventure panel.

This will be an incomplete transcript of the entire panel, starring Declan Finn (me), Gene Wolfe, and John Desjarlais (French-Canadian pronunciation. Good luck) and Anthony Kolenc.

Now, there will be gaps here. I've forgotten most of what I've said, to heck with what anyone else said. I'm going to ask anyone who was there to comment, and fill in the blanks. Anyone who posted to YouTube, please let me know, I'll post some here.

The moderator was the awesome and wonderful Ann Margaret Lewis.

Here we go.....

Q: Has a Saint's non-violence inspired you?

Declan Finn: Well, the closest I've ever come to that was with Thomas Aquinas. Like me, Aquinas was a nerd. He had only two real outbursts in his life. One was when his family had hired a hooker -- a second one, because he converted the first -- only this one was more persistent in her job. Aquinas finally grabbed a burning log from the fireplace and chased her out, drawing a cross of fire into the door on her way out. I always liked that one if only for the comedy value. The second story was Aquinas at a party being held by King St. Louis. It was one of those "You've been invited. Go to the party, you'll have fun." During the party, he had a philosophical thought, rear up, and slammed the table, declaring "and that will settle the Manichees!" I've got a few characters who are also just as flakey.

Gene Wolfe: But the important part of that fight scene with the hooker -- and it was a fight scene, even if she just ran away -- was what was being defended!

JD: One of my earlier books was about a war that happened over a book. It was written back when I was still a Protestant. Who knew I was writing a Catholic novel?

Worst fight scene ever?

Declan Finn: Jack Higgins wrote a scene to the end of a family of villains who had been plaguing his heroes for books. It was a dark and stormy night, fighting on the roof. The entire fight consisted of "They went at each other. They fought. They grappled, they rolled to the edge of the roof, and Rashid fell off." He's been the bad guy for repeated books! I know fights are quick, but can I have a little more detail?

JD: The worst fight scene I've ever read was when a pivotal fight happened off screen, with no emotional payoff.

Q: Who can you give as an example of writing good fight scenes.

Lee Child's Jack Reacher. Before every fight, there's a little dissertation on violence. It explains why he's targeting who he's targeting, and why he's hitting with what he's hitting. And since Jack Reacher was 6'5" -- not Tom Cruise -- he was always being confronted by 5-7 people, and discussed group dynamics.

Ann: Do you think they stole that for the Robert Downy Jr. Sherlock Holmes films?

Well, for that, I can at least see Holmes doing it, because he's Holmes. He can play three-dimensional chess in his head. As for stealing .... does Guy Ritchie even read? I know he was with Madonna for a while, so I wouldn't place money on it.

I also suggest James Rollins. And for large scale battles, read Bernard Cornwell -- not John, Bernard -- who wrote the Richard Sharpe series. It was about the Napoleonic wars, and one of the few roles where Sean Bean did not die a horrible, horrible death.

[I got a few laughs there]

Q: Why do you write in your genre?

Declan Finn: Because thrillers are what people read. And I'm not going to write a romance novel.

What is your pet peeve about action scenes?

Gene Wolfe: When two guys are exchanging one-liners between punches. All of the one-liners in real life come before the punching starts. One of these days, I want someone to start a one-liner and get punched in the mouth.

[No, I don't remember what I said to that one. It's been a hard week]

Q: For science fiction and fantasy, it's easy to ignore tech or magic in order to have an exciting fight scene. (Remember how Indy shot the swordsman instead of the big scene they had planned.) How do you work around advanced tech that might make a dull fight?

Declan Finn: "I make it simple. I give all the advanced weaponry to the bad guys. As for working around it -- the tech can be magical, but it's still run by people. People can be tricked. Confused. Or just plain stupid."

Gene mostly answered this question. I don't remember his answer, though I want to have recalled it. He also loved the Raiders swordfight cited above because that's very much how real fights go.

Q (from the audience): What makes a Catholic adventure?

JD: As Bilbo said in The Hobbit, "I'm going on an adventure!" The first part of having an adventure is that you go out."

Me: I'm the simple one here. Catholic adventure? The priests aren't all Nazis. The Pope isn't evil. There is good. There is evil. And evil must lose.

[I swear I had an "amen" at that point.]

Q (From the audience): "Have you ever had prayer, or angels, or a miracle to solve a problem? Something supernatural for a solution?"

Gene: "Yes, I did. I had one story where every time my main character would start praying, he would start to win."

Declan Finn: "Since I don't want it to be a deus ex machina, I do have a bit of a miracle in book three of my Pius trilogy, when the fecal matter hits the air impeller" [laugh]. "But it's like the old joke: A cop car goes up to a guy's house. There's a flood coming. Get in the car. Guy says that God'll save me, God'll save my house. The next people to come by are in a boat, and they're talking to the homeowner in the second story window because that's where the water is. Get in the boat, they say. Guy says that God'll save me, God'll save my house. The next people to come by are in a helicopter, and the homeowner's on the roof. Guy says No, God'll save me, God'll save my house. Homeowner drowns. When the homeowner asks, Why didn't you save me? God says 'I sent the cop, I sent the boat, I sent the helicopter, what more do you want?' It's like that."

Then there were several great lines that I can't remember the context for......

JD: "The scene between Bilbo and Gollum in the cave is a buildup to Bilbo and Smaug later on, playing for much larger stakes. Setup, payoff."

JD: A fight has to either advance the story or the character. You can't just have it to be there. It has to accomplish something.

[.... I hate him for that. He stole my line before I could say it. :) Yes, I'm kidding. I love his novels Bleeder and Viper. I should probably review then ... anyway....]

Declan Finn: "As was said by John, if it's going to bore the writer, it's going to bore the audience. I cut a scene from my novel Codename: Winterborn because there were too many fight scenes already. But since the scene was something that had to happen for the story to move forward, and it was a navy SEAL versus some guys in the street, I boiled it down to a sentence of the aftermath, and moved on."

Gene Wolfe: "I'm glad to see that fighting men are wearing armor again. I had one of the first pieces of armor issued to the army. It was this big heavy nylon thing with lead squares, and it might as well have been made of solid metal. Anyway, during one time, this Lieutenant had come up on stage before the men, and he wore this bright green shining piece of armor with a string of grenades across the chest. It made him look like Flash Gordon. He had a truck of his new armor and he said "Is there anyone here who doesn't have armor?" I disconnected my straps, holding my armor up, and I shot up to the stage, saying "Me. I don't have armor." And I got myself some shiny new armor, the first time it was given out to the enlisted men and not just officers. Anyway, we made an about face, and marched out of the room, and there was my old armor, just lying there. The Lieutenant just laughed, picked up the armor, and threw it on the truck."

As I said, these are pieces and parts I recall from less than a week ago. Any help on filling in the blanks would be helpful

Glad you came... Master Chief?

2015-07-16T10:19:00.000-07:00

I'm not a great big fan of modern music.

Their parodies, however.....

Jack Bauer, Harry Potter, and the Cassandra effect.

2015-07-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

So, what do Jack Bauer and Harry Potter have in common?

No, this is not a joke.

Jack Bauer, the hero of 24, is the key agent on the Counter Terrorism Unit. He will torture (mostly just interrogation with yelling and threats), kill, fight his superiors, and lop off heads in order to save the day. He developed a drug addiction to go undercover with a cartel, stopped LA from being nuked about three times, saved the President of the United States at least a dozen times, and will occasionally go on revenge-fueld rampages. He is also the winner of going-the-longest-without-sleep-while-still-kicking-ass award. He's mostly a lone wolf, because everyone who helps him eventually dies.

Harry Potter is essentially experiencing the worst high school experience since Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Instead of being born with martial arts skills and preternatural strength, all he has are the wits of a ten-year-old (to start with) and inborn magical ability that he's still learning to control. His biggest assets are his friends-- one of whom is smarter than he is. And he's got a death sentence on him since he was born, all because of some Saruman wannabe who has his own Manson family.

So, what do the two of them have in common?

The Cassandra effect.

No, really.

Going through both series, you'll notice that no one actually listens to either Jack Bauer or Harry Potter. If people listened to Jack Bauer in several seasons, the show would be called 12, not 24. Every time Harry Potter falls head first into a plot, like some sort of magical Jessica Fletcher, no one over the age of 18 listens to him. They are both Cassandra, knowing something will happen for certain, only no one will listen to them, especially when they're right. Leaving it up to our heroes to act on their own to save the day, despite the stupidity of others.

Now, granted, it's a plot device specifically designed so it can end with the hero standing alone against all odds, with maybe some cavalry coming over the hill at the last minute. One might say it's a very American concept -- rugged individualism, cowboy duels in the street, the Lone Ranger, every superhero, every Clint Eastwood western-- except that there is still the basic mythology of Odysseus, or Bellerophon, and other folks of yore who have special powers and abilities that make them the only ones to face demons and monsters. It's the same concept, only we need different reasons for the lone hero to be lone anything.

In the case of comic books, that's easy-- most superheroes have superpowers that enable them to go toe-to-toe with the bad guy and walk away. Even Batman and Iron Man have special toys, special training, and a wealth of experience on their side.

But what happens outside of that? When everyone has the same training? The same knowledge base?

Enter the Cassandra effect. In both cases, it stems from Konecsni's Law of Committees: to get the IQ of a committee, you take the total IQ of the individual committee members, and then divide it by TWICE the number of members on said committee. Why? Because people are dumber in groups.

In either case, this holds. In the Hogwarts School model, the faculty obviously know more than this pissant little child, so how could he possibly have the answer to anything in particular? In the case of Jack Bauer, the CTU bureaucracy looks something like the bureaucracy of the damned, filled with political operatives who know nothing about kicking ass and taking names, and everything about kissing ass and shuffling papers. And, in both cases, our heroes can only appeal to an individual --Harry Potter's Dumbledore, or Bauer's President Palmer -- and that person can cut through the red tape that has made everything so very, very screwed up.

If you don't have that, you don't have a plot in either case.

"Oh, Harry? People are going to try and steal this valuable stone we have in the forbidden wing? We'll triple the guard on it. Thank you."

Or...

"Jack, you've got information that says that there were other people behind the terrorist threat? Sure, we'll have an air strike on them in the next five minutes."

Sounds boring, doesn't it?

At the end of the day, individuals who will fight the good fight are always more appealing to us than a massive, faceless bureaucracy. We trust individuals to get things done, but not the byzantine structure of bureaucracies, who will seemingly let anyone in. It doesn't matter if it's the IRS, the State Department, the NSA, CTU, or Hogwarts. But good fiction uses this plot device well, exaggerating the natural ineptitude of bureaucracies into a plot point -- and sometimes, you don't need that much exaggeration.

Even when you have something like the Magnificent Seven, or the Avengers, it's very much the same concept. It's the individuals coming together to take on a threat that none of them could deal with alone.

Now, one could counter with military fiction... except in that case, fiction makes certain to focus on the officers and high-ranking foot soldiers -- people who have already been promoted because they have special abilities and knowledge that put them at the head of the back. Just look at 300-- we focus on, possibly, six of three hundred Spartans. It's hard to make us emotionally invested in 300 individual soldiers in the time and space allotted, but making us invested in a select few allows us to be invested in all of them.

At the end of the day, we the audience become invested in individuals. The Cassandra effect -- or the committee effect -- gives writers the excuse to focus on a select few in a modern age where great big monolithic installations are supposed to take care of everything.

Ten Rules I want Writers to follow

2015-07-13T22:50:00.000-07:00

I was recently asked what rules, as I reader, I wish writers would follow. I came up with a few.

Rule #1: Don't preach at me. Tell the damn story... I think this is self explanatory.

Rule #2: Don't make up your own history, claim that you've done your research, and then NOT share your research. You are not Dan Brown, I don't tolerate it FROM Dan Brown, and I will waterboard the next schmuck who does that. Anyone want to test that threat? I'm a freaking historian. I know when you're lying you morons!!!!!

Rule #3: If you have an action sequence, HAVE an action sequence. I don't need blow-by-blow, but if your concept of a "fight" is "they fell to the roof and struggled with each other until they fell off," I will hurt you. Jack Higgins did that, and after that, I knew Sean Dillion series was doomed. I was writing like that when I was 16.

Rule #4: If you have a chapter, it has to be more than a paragraph long. If you only have snippets from a mad serial killer, we might forgive you if it's a handful of chapters. If it's your entire novel, you should be beaten to death with the hard copy.... I'm looking at you, James Patterson.

Rule #5: Vampires only sparkle IF THEY'RE ON FIRE.

Rule #6: Fantasy authors, please, for the love of God, if you're going to have a system of magic set in a modern environment, please explain where magic comes from. [Ahem: Dear Madam Rowling, where do wizards get their powers FROM? Why do they actually need wands? Why can some spells not require any wands? A paragraph over your 7 novels would have been fine to explain any of this]

Rule #7: Stop giving me stupid villains. Just stop. Please.

Rule #7b: Stop giving me insipid heroes. Just ... don't.

Rule #7c: In fact, Stephen King, just stop writing entirely.

Rule #8: While we're at it, SOMEONE HAVE AN ORIGINAL IDEA. I don't care if you've been a bestseller for 20 years, stop pumping out books like they're an obligation. I'm looking at you King ... Higgins ... Patterson ... Pat Cornwell ... Nora Roberts does consistently better and original ideas than you twits, and she's a ROMANCE NOVELIST. Gah.

Rule #9: Stop with the utterly dark nonsense. I'm tired of the same dystopian universes, the same miserable outlooks on humanity, and the same anti-heroes. Snake Plisskin only works once. Twice if you make him into a Metal Gear character. After that I'M BORED. You can give me an anti-hero if he's well-developed, likable, smart. You can stop giving me the same depressing, dark, amoral character who actually HAS no character development. Even the book Codename: Winterborn, which has been compared to Escape from New York, went out of its way to describe how society works, how people life, how there's an economy. I never want to see another Escape from New York or Terminator universe unless they're in Escape from New York or the Terminator universe

Rule #10: Stop, stop STOP making professional soldiers into sociopathic Redshirt canon fodder while the plucky hero WITH ZERO COMBAT EXPERIENCE gets out alive. Thank you

Happy 4th.

2015-07-04T08:37:00.000-07:00

This is the Fourth of July!

America! F(*k yeah!

Cover Art, Graphics, and Slowly Going Blind.

2015-07-02T08:43:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not posting on Wednesday, I was busy blinding myself.

No, I'm not kidding.

So, you know that It Was Only On Stun! will be self published. And, I gotta tell you, I didn't particularly like everything that was offered to me, in terms of cover options at the self publishing places I'm looking at -- Amazon.com, and Lulu.com.

So, I decided to try it myself.

I know, I know. You're thinking, "John -- or is it Declan now? -- we've seen your artwork. Your Vatican ninjas were a bit of a joke. Why do this to yourself again?"

Well, because I'm stubborn, and because this should have been simple.

Let's start with what I showed you already.

Now, this photo on the right is what I originally had up. There are a few problems with it. The quality isn't that good when you look at it up close, the blood spatter on the badge isn't that good, and the "Junior" has become unneccessary.

"Junior" by the way, is because my father had his own company called "Declan Finn Associates," a little side gig for resume building and interview preparation. Anyway, that's where the Junior came from.

Then my father said I could drop the Junior.

Did I mention that I love him dearly?

Anyway, so there was that.

So, what's the next step, you ask? Well, there had been an option on Amazon.com that gave you a banner-type display for your title and author name. It looked kind of nice, actually. Also, someone suggested that they liked one of the earlier "flair button" image that said, "Good Morning, I see the Assassins have failed."

And, so, I started to build that with the Amazon cover generator.

Unfortunately, it didn't want to work for me. The image I had was always getting cut off from the cover layout that Amazon had. It was a pain in the ass.

So, I built that myself. While it looks nice, can you see the problem?

It now looks like I have two titles to the book.

Oh joy. Shoot me now.

So, once again, back to the drawing board.

I knew I had to go back to the original thoughts on the matter. I knew the assassins comment had to go. The blood covered badge seemed to offend no one, and it's part of the convention, called C-Con in the book.

So, that's good, right? Perfect? I copied a "Hello, my name is" badge from offline, then slapped it on, morphing it a little, and presto, done.

Not quite. You see, Amazon's cover creator requires 300 pixels per inch. I had 96 PPI.

AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Ahem. Anyway. So, back to the drawing board.

So, I had to go back to the beginning on the badge. The image I had stolen from online hadn't been that high definition to start with, and I didn't like the blood spatter.

I made my own badge, from scratch, and tinkered with some blood spatter online. I had to adjust it later, in the image itself later on, but aside from that, it seemed to work.

After that, it was easy. Start with red background. Add black circle, white letters, past the badge over it, and we're done.

Then what do we do with the author name? Simple white lettering? Black on red? Orange on red? Seriously, what would make it easily distinguished from everything else? What would be bright enough to leap out and grab someone's attention if this were on a screen, or a bookshelf?

Enter Clive Cussler. He's been an author I've read since I was a kid. His Dirk Pitt novels were very much straightforward adventure stories, and he's been a bestselling author since, well, forever. I remember he once mentioned how he was in advertising and insisted on four-color covers, so that it would be eye-catching.

So, I cheated.

Do you see something somewhat similar between the Flood Tide cover, and mine for It Was Only On Stun!

I literally took the color from the title graphics, and used it to ink my own title.

And then there was the back cover, which I had to jury rig multiple times because I had to put text in with margins I couldn't see, and I had to account for a bar code I didn't have yet.

Not to mention, I hated the lower cases in the author name.

So, then it ended up like this.

And then there was the author picture. A friend of mine told me I had a great Facebook photo, but it wasn't professional. So, I had to fix that with freeware called Photofiltre.

So, at the end of the day, what does the full cover look like?

It looks something like this.

So, what do you all think? Good? Bad? Indifferent? Leave a comment below, and tell me what your opinion is.

We're getting close, people. Almost there.... We're so close, the next blog entry is number 300. I want to hold off until next week. I hope to have an announcement then.

What announcement? Well, the title I want is "Forget Sparta: I! AM! PUBLIIIIIIISHED!"

Let's see if Amazon can keep up with my ambition.

So, until next week, all.