A Pixelated Mind

Twitter Grab Bags V

Pixel — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:46:05 +0000

I don’t prejudge, I just precorrelate.
October 24
All my friends that have moved to red states have turned Republican. I, on the other hand, moved to North Carolina and now it’s tinting blue.
October 26
So it turns out I don’t have cancer. Oh, well, you can’t win them all.
October 28
Not only can I not spare change, I can’t even spare time to answer this ques–
October 30
I don’t want to know how to live the good life, I want to lead the Great life.
October 31
Just once i want to read ‘emphasis removed.’
November 3
I don’t print single-sided because I can’t read that many pages.
November 6
I worry that one day I’ll recline my chair too far, fall, and crack open my head. Then the police report will say: “death by comfort.”
November 7
Have you ever wondered if perhaps This is what it Is to be happy? Perhaps that’s all there is to it? Whenever I think that it makes me sad..
November 8
I’ve chosen all my jokes for next semester: logic, ethics, some bio, some cog sci, and perhaps “responsibility” or “Rousseau.”
November 9
It occurs to me that prisoners just have more dilemmas than the rest of us.
November 10
That’s not a Rorschach, that’s my handwriting!
November 10
My goal in every psychological experiment is to be an outlier.
November 10
I think I’m just going to sit around and wait for social justice.
November 11
I don’t have a bookmark, so I’m just going to have to remember where I was… Chapter 1, Page 1.
November 12
Every one of you is a generalizer.
November 13
I don’t like weddings, I barely like funerals, and I HATE kids’ birthday parties.
November 14
Why is it so easy to click ’send’ and so hard to click ‘retrieve?’
November 14
I’ve decided I update my status too often. I’m not going to stop doing it, I was just thinking about it and thought you’d like to know.
November 15
I wrote my thesis on the back of a bar napkin. Now if only I could find it…
November 17

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Neo: The Matrix has you…. Sexually.

Pixel — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 06:22:22 +0000

The Honda dealer—

Looking condescendingly:

“Bend over,” he says.

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She cast a spell on me.

scott — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:27:06 +0000

She sang my soul awake again.

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Have you ever seen American Pie?

Pixel — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 06:37:54 +0000

At the basketball game:

Me: Who’s Apple Pie?

John: She’s the last cheerleader on the right. The blond one.

Me: Dude. She looks like she’s Thirteen.

John: You don’t think I should call her Apple Pie?

Me: To be honest, no.

John: What do you think, then? Peach Pie? Blueberry Pie?

Me: Blueberry would be better: it is the Duke BLUE Devils.

John: Pumpkin Pie? Pecan Pie?

Me: I don’t know, but definitely not Cherry Pie.

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You don’t even want to know…

Pixel — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 06:12:14 +0000

“You can’t have my sperm! I need it!”

— Me, two days ago, to a lesbian in Alaska.

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Oppressing others is very hard work

Pixel — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 06:44:21 +0000

“you’re so good at making fun of poor people. it’s impressive.”

— Bre Kerchner November 12, 2008

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Phone calls at two a.m…

Pixel — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 06:42:26 +0000

“I just found out that Doritos are made from tortillas! … I just wanted to tell somebody.”

— Daniel Davenport Nov. 11, 2008

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When the Great Turtle Soul appeared

scott — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 14:33:57 +0000

All the Earth sang, “Gloria Tortuga!”

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why i blog — Pixelated Mind edition

Pixel — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 06:04:45 +0000

(gakked from Ashley)

I have thoughts. I need a place to store them so that I don’t forget them. You have eyes + time. You want to read thoughts and be entertained and maybebe intrigued. Me + U = Magicks.

That’s all there is to it. When I don’t blog, I feel like I’m living in a permanent zombie state, where nothing I’m experiencing is really happening. Yes, I know that sounds weird, but nothing feels as ephemeral (even if is still awesome) as just hanging out with my friends and doing my job. It’s just the same thing ad infinitum. With text, however… there’s a sense of permanence that doesn’t let things blend into each other. At least in my own twisted mind. A girl with a misspelled last name once said:

“Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.”

—Virginia Woolf

And… and that’s just it. Plus: jokes. Jokes just plain suck if nobody laughs. I mean, just look at my birth!

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Twitter Grab Bags IV

Pixel — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 06:12:08 +0000

The past version of myself gives me really bad advice.
September 18
Things McCain should not say, “the guard traced a cross in the sand, so then i traced the letter ‘u.’”
September 18
They’re not religious. Unless you consider love a religion.. Which I don’t. I consider it a cult.
September 20
Laughter is good medicine so long as you don’t overdose.
September 21
They always tell you that lying is wrong, but they never point out that sometimes it is very convenient.
September 29
I don’t know why I expected to get paid at 12:01 a.m. today: I mean, I had my money direct-deposited to my Wachovia bank account. :-S
September 30
What’s the nicest way to say “I really want to pay attention, but I don’t care about anything you’re going to say”?
September 30
What’s the nicest way to say “I really want to pay attention, but I don’t care about anything you’re going to say”?
September 30
I often make phenomenal judgments… just not about qualia.
September 30
String theory is so messed up, It’s all tied up in knots.
September 30
Things are shaping up. Just today: an attractive girl smiled at me. Pretty soon: it’ll be on purpose.
October 1
I have to rewrite my suicide note. Teacher says the first draft was ‘too preachy.’
October 1
It might turn out that the appropriate response to economic pressures is to panic then collapse into a stupor. I call it the ‘opossum plan.’
October 8
Sad: The Ouroboros ate my homework.
October 10

ascottwhite @Pixelation: The Ouroboros is so full of himself.
October 10
in reply to Pixelation

Metaphors are LIKE similes, but similes ARE metaphors.
October 13
It’s too easy to make people feel sad and cry at funerals. I want them to panic and feel slightly aroused.
October 13
I’m just going to skip to the end of this article to find out what this guy is going to fail to prove.
October 20
I’m just going to say it. I know we’ve all been thinking it: There’s just not enough rickrolling in Shakespeare’s sonnets.
October 20
Chess is a game for kings. And knights and bishops and rooks.
October 21
It does not pay to have enemies.. But It’s still cheaper than having friends.
October 24

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Twitter Grab Bags III

Pixel — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 06:53:05 +0000

Anson says my twitter grab bags suck. I say I use a month’s ideas in each one of these, so… ouch.

So i survived my first day in durham, which is good… That was definitely one of my top two preferred outcomes.
August 18
No one ever got called pithy by being accurate……….. wait, let me elaborate on that…
August 21
So negative — Why is everything between abortion and euthanasia called ‘murder?’
August 24
Note: don’t sign up for big brothers, big sisters if you’re an abusive sibling.
August 25
Ironically, anything can be ironic if you just expect the opposite of whatever happens… and I’m not even being ironic.
August 27
Hey, didn’t McCain reach his life expectancy today?
August 29
I was born at the age of zero. Just so you know..
August 31
The simplest spelling of Ockham’s Razor is Okkam’s RazR.
September 2
I will create a Philosophy Manhattan Project so the most brilliant minds can solve causality once and for all.. before the filthy Germans do
September 5
Remember kids: theories that could potentially annihilate the universe should not be tested empirically.
September 8
Why doesn’t the world ever end when i want it to?
September 10
As a philosopher, I’m basically getting paid to think. So far this morning, I’m ripping them off.
September 10
I’ve decided i’m not intelligent, i’m just regular ‘telligent.
September 10
It occurs to me that one can, and often does, hide intense psychological disorders in fandom.
September 13
You want a coke?
Nah, i’m limiting my caloric intake.
What are you, a woman?
No, but I AM thinner than you.
September 13
I wouldn’t be able to finish my reading today if I were Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
September 14
The beauty of having meetings in restaurants is that even if nobody shows: food!
September 15
I don’t need time management advice! I need one of those time turners from harry potter three.
September 15
Six sodas for six dollars is a buck a pop.
September 16
If suicide is your final decision, you might as well go all out.
September 17

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I speak in aphorisms most days

Pixel — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 06:39:49 +0000

This, however, isn’t one of them.

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How to fail at Philosophy

Pixel — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 06:47:55 +0000

There is no rest from now on.

My friend’s girlfriend said today¹ that it was silly for people to fail a philosophy class because it was just philosophy. “Nobody’s wrong in philosophy.” To the uninitiated, this might seem a plausible claim. But it’s not. A more accurate claim would be: “Nobody’s right in philosophy.” To illustrate how you could be wrong in philosophy, I’ve made a list of instances in which a person practicing philosophy would fail:

Contradict yourself
Have an argument that doesn’t logically follow from the premises
Assume something that has not been sufficiently defended or supported
Appeal to intuitions that nobody but you has
Get the empirical facts wrong
Misrepresent the opposite position
Pick a topic/thesis nobody cares about
Pick a topic/thesis that has already been extensively covered +
Not have any new ideas
Miss the time-span/page-rage requested

Guess how many of those apply to me?

————

I use the word ‘today’ as a literary device. I was thinking about her saying this today, she actually said it a few months ago. It takes me half a year to process most comments. They’re not even dating anymore. Sorry if this bothers you.

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He punched me in the face.

Pixel — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 06:53:50 +0000

Feeling pity for undeserving people much?

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So, why are you studying philosophy?

Pixel — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 06:32:17 +0000

“Peer pressure.”

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