A Relentless Pursuit

Another January, another FYI

Mon, 16 Jan 2017 00:05:10 GMT

As usual, running all sorts of late...but at least it's still January, right? This is an FYI that the revised version of my second Geren novel is now available for anyone who read the older version and might like to read it again. Alas, due to running even more late with art projects, the cover art for this novel is slapdash temporary. While I'd like to say I'll have a better cover done in a few months...may be wiser to say a few years.

Available formats
- pdf
- epub (for Nook, Kobo, Onyx Boox, etc)
- mobi (for Amazon Kindle)

Once again, crushingly broke so I cannot currently provide paper copies. But please let me know if you want one, and it will get a higher priority on my ever-lengthening purchases list!

FYI

Mon, 04 Jan 2016 23:52:24 GMT

So, I finished a little later than my planned deadline of Dec 31, 2015, but not by far. This is just an FYI that the revised version of my first Geren novel is now available for anyone who read the older version and might like to read it again. (It's being called 'first Geren novel' because my wonderful editor persuaded me to change the name, but my geriatric brain has known it as 'Hu-Hua's Cry' for so long it won't recognize anything else!)

Available formats
- pdf
- epub (for Nook, Kobo, Onyx Boox, etc)
- mobi (for Amazon Kindle)

As I am more broke than I've ever been since 1999, I cannot currently provide paper copies. My apologies...maybe after that hoped-for tax refund!

20th Anniversary Post: Twenty Years of Blessings

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:31:34 GMT

Twenty Years of Blessings:
Seven Ways t'DoL and His World has Blessed My Life

Reaching the twentieth anniversary of when I first 'met' t'DoL in February of 1993 brings me to a perfect position to look back over the last two decades and see what that encounter, and all that has followed, has done for my life. Truly, it feels longer than twenty years; it feels another lifetime entirely, those last months in high school when I found him, and those first fumbling years afterward.

There is so much to be thankful for, hence this essay. I find it far too easy to get caught up with whatever current project, frustration, heartache, or hindrance is in my path, and don't turn around quite often enough to stand and marvel at the tremendous blessings these twenty years have brought me.

I decided I would focus on seven, that being the avarii number, after all. Some are small, many are large, and some might be a little alarming. It is a blessing to have each and every one of them, even number eight at the end that isn't quite a blessing.

In somewhat random order, and touching random portions of the last twenty years, here they are:

Spelling and Typing
My spelling was deplorable in my school years. That was the one consistent area I would always score well below average on those standardized tests. Just because I had a sizeable vocabulary, thanks to my voracious reading in childhood, didn't mean I could bother to remember how to properly spell it. Not until I started writing. Not until I grew weary of being called out by the spell check on the same words over and over again, or having to look at the dictionary repeatedly, when my spelling was so off that spell check had no clue what I was aiming at (yes, that still happens at times, and I still think English is ridiculous, and needs a bunch of hyarmi set loose upon it to knock it into some semblance of order. I vote we get rid of the letter 'K' entirely, but I have biases there...). And it was fun to play games later on, with a point to me for every word I got right that spell check didn't know, and a point to it for every typo I failed to catch.

Anyway, my spelling is hardly going to win any awards now, but it is immensely improved from those days. I still get a disbelieving, happy glow whenever anyone in my department asks me to spell a word for them...

For typing, the same thing. Of course, I can't credit my writing alone for the increase in my typing speed, as I also do extensive typing in my journal, and with less hesitation than when I am composing a story. My wpm was in the vicinity of 30-35 at best after college, and around 50 a few years back. The test itself was overly easily, but I was shocked to hit 80 wpm when I took an online test last year. I only feel like I'm getting slower at times, and more clumsy, so that was gratifying to learn. And an aid as well, since having my thoughts run far ahead of my fingers and losing perfect lines or dialogue thereby happened far more often in the past than it does now.

Life Purpose and Passion
I am so blessed. In writing the 'Defender Rising' essay five years ago to celebrate my fifteenth anniversary, I explained that I had no clue what I was getting into when I drew those first pictures, and even set down the first fragments of stories months later. I didn't really get it for a few years, and when I did, I figured I'd need to be committed for having the audacity to think that I could write a multi-volume fantasy series. Well, here I am, twenty years later, and two years past finishing the five Geren novels, with enough on my plate to keep me busy for at least ten more years, if not much longer. And I know that there is nothing else I would rather do, nothing else that gives me the same amount of fulfillment, or delight, or passion. No paying job comes close, or ever could, howsoever interesting. I am so blessed to have found, in meeting t'DoL and pursuing him, my purpose and passion and calling upon this earth. That I fail at it regularly, I have no doubt, and that I wish I could do better by him is a constant desire. Nothing I can create comes close to the wonder I behold in my mind. Whatever my skill and my experience, which thankfully have risen over these last two decades of work, I will keep laboring for as long as I can labor, until my mind rots away or my body fails me. So many do not know their passion or calling, or have not been able to train it and explore it, as I have. I am so blessed, so very blessed.

Reassurance of the Ability to Love
This is a more recent blessing, covering only the last six years, since the accursed hell year of 2007. So much betrayal, abandonment, rejection, defeat, and injury from months of major depression left me with the incapacity to feel much for years aside from immeasurable loneliness, endless torment, or persistent rage. I am so glad for the blessing of t'DoL and Geren in my life (and the silliness I mention in the next item below) because if it were not for them, I dread to consider how many hours, days, weeks, and months I would have spent agonizing over and tormenting myself about whether or not I was even capable of feeling affection anymore, after that cursed year. Many times I would have said that I was not...except for my precious characters, and especially my beloved Defender, who can make my veins run fire and my heart skip at any random moment. And the hyarmi, Hened, Hu-Harek, trapper Arun, so many others. I am still capable of affection and love, even if it has been very hard to feel it toward 'real' people in past years.

'Laffing' at Myself
I think it is important to not take myself too seriously, and to find things to laugh at, between the near-continual low levels of depression (dysthymia) and seasonal depression (summer SAD) that have been part of my life for so long, and a tendency toward pessimism. And, well, my love for my characters gives me plenty of fodder. I have all sorts of silly routines I can laugh at myself over. I have pictures of t'DoL and/or Geren on my monitor wallpaper, cell phone screens, mouse pad, and now keychain too, as well as blanket, tapestry, wall art. So I have plenty of opportunities to say inane things like:
          "I want to take you home with me, right now." (Especially hilarious when I am home.)
          "Have I mentioned in the last [insert random time interval here] that I love you?"
          "I wuv you, I wuv you, I wuuuuuuv yooooouuuu..." (repeated ad nauseam)

And so forth. I also get to laugh at myself over drooling over some depiction of t'DoL. I call it 'drooling,' but salivating is more accurate, since I rarely drip on myself. If I ever do, of course, that's double the hilarity, but just having my mouth fill up with spit for some bizarre biological reason is entertaining enough.

Also have to mention the whole 'fake cat' thing. Since my brain insists upon calling Trapper Arun in my stories, and the grey scaly Shado, the 'real' Arun and the 'real' Shado. Then where does that leave my cats, Arun and Shado? With another reason to laugh at myself that my characters are more real to me than they are, and the absurdity of a brain that tags them in such a fashion. Heaven forbid I ever get another cat and name him Geren...brain might short out, or that cat might suffocate from too much kissing...

Learned Discipline
So I've heard about the 10,000 hour rule, the concept that a person needs to spend that amount of time to become a master or expert at something, regardless of any innate talent. (Though it would take a lot more than that to make me a decent cook, heh.) I also recently read that a lot of younger people have thrown away that much of their lives playing video games, and I dread to consider how much has been washed down the drain watching television. Again, I am blessed, that my passion for t'DoL has kept me at this for twenty years, and certainly past 10,000 hours by now, though some years have been worse, and some better in terms of time given to my purpose and passion. I am blessed not only because all these years of writing and editing and learning have improved my skill, but because they have also increased my self-discipline (an aspect of self-control, which is the foundational virtue of the hyarmi.) Right now the jury is still out over how much I regret my recent promotion, but I would never have believed that I could teach myself the basics of scripting in the months before applying for the position, or the insane concept of working weeks on end at 60 hours per week, had I not learned so much discipline already through being t'DoL's biographer. My own diligence, born of passion, has turned around and blessed me in a way I never foresaw.

Loving Virtue
Another unexpected side-effect, and precious blessing born out of being t'DoL's biographer is that I have fallen in love with more of the fruit of the Spirit. (For those unfamiliar with the term, they are from a passage in the Bible, Galatians 5:22-23, and I learned them like this: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.)

Going back to the age of 10 or 11, faithfulness/loyalty has always been the supreme virtue for me in my admiration and desire. I detest fickleness more than nearly anything else that exists, and have intensely valued loyalty for decades. But thanks to writing the Geren novels, Hope's Passage, and The Chronicles of Delarun, I found that I have fallen in love with other virtues besides. First and foremost, gentleness. I cannot esteem it more, and I have had a few faithless days of my own where it has supplanted loyalty from the top of my admired virtues (only a few days, mind ;). I have also greatly increased my love of kindness and goodness. Even patience, pesky aggravating thing that it is, I have grown to intensely admire.

This is a great blessing to me, because in my mind intellectual assent and admiration does not measure up to whole-hearted enthusiastic affection. I love these things (peace/shalom I already fell in love with by the age of 15) and maybe some year I will gain a similar warmth for self-control and joy as well. But what I have already received is blessing enough.

Life
Last and greatest, and without which none of the others would even exist. I don't tend to write about really bad days/events in my journal (more so in years past) because I have no trouble whatsoever remembering them, and don't need to aid my memory by rehearsing it yet again. Of course, that means that while I may never forget the event, I do forget when it occurred.

All that is a long and roundabout way of saying that I don't know whether the year was 2000 or 2002 when I had this revelation. Hyperventilating in a hotel room bathroom, and wondering if there was any reason I shouldn't charge out of that room and try to kill myself that very night. (Leaving aside the fact that is the stupidest way to go about things. Suicide plans should be pondered for weeks and months, and be made as foolproof and infallible as possible. I don't do suicide attempts.)

Regardless of whether I might actually have tried to go out that night, or more intelligently waited until I was back home, what I realized on that awful evening was that something was thwarting me. t'DoL, or more logically put, my love for him. That night remains in my memory not simply because it was awful, but also because it was illuminating: The Defender of Life is my Defender too. He always stands in the scales on the side of life against the suicide I have so often yearned for since 1992, and he can 'weigh' very, very much. I have realized that there have been two forces guarding my life these last fifteen years in particular: my devotion to God, and my love for The Defender. Each of them alone are not always quite strong enough, but both of them together have seen me through. Again, I am blessed.

Now to lighten the mood, and to be completely honest, even such a broad and many-faceted blessing as I have discovered over these past twenty years--even such a big bright 'silver lining' can have a cloud attached. This one is small and rather amusing (at least to me).

I hate eggs. I have always hated eggs--my mom had to feed me liver instead as a baby. The smell alone nauseates me. So logically, why would I buy eggs? I do eat them, when they're a part of food where I can't taste them, like baked goods and pasta. But to my amusement, I have found it increasingly difficult over the years to ever buy them, when I want to make a muffin mix or something of the sort. Ten years ago, I know I managed it; two-three years ago I restricted myself to no-egg-needed baking mixes, and last year I checked out egg substitutes and was frustrated to find that they also contained eggs. You may wonder what on earth this has to do with the topic at hand. Simply this: destroying eggs is the supreme taboo of the avarii race (they hatch from eggs), and as the years go by I can too readily visualize t'DoL's horror should I do anything of the sort. Even if we both know they're not fertilized eggs. It is still, to him, such an utter desecration of perfect innocence and helplessness. Can't do it. Just can't.

Of course, when it gets to the point that I can't even touch eggnog (which for some insane reason I love) then I know I shall have truly gone off the deep end.

And there it is. Seven blessings, and one not-blessing, to commemorate these twenty years. I wonder what there may be to add to them should I reach twenty-five, or thirty...

Astounding April

Sun, 01 May 2011 12:19:01 GMT

NOTICE: With the completion of the five Geren novels, a new stage of my life begins, one with more focus on novels that avarii_wings and renewer_rising were set up for, rather than this place. Therefore, future monthly summary posts will be located at my 'misc' LJ, shout_of_joy.

Certainly not an April to ever be forgotten. Can't say my list is remarkably huge, but it's certainly momentous because it includes the biggest finish line of my life, past present or yet-to-come. The Geren novels are COMPLETE! (Well, yes, there is the unending editing, but the story is finally all down in words.)

Apr 3 - Made 'Done!' illustration for writing tracker
Apr 6 - Finished book 5, ch 29
Apr 7 - Finished book 5, map #5 (last map!)
Apr 9 - Finished book 5, ch 30
Apr 10 - Made 'Inspiration' avatar
Apr 12 - Finished book 5, ch 31
Apr 13 - Finished book 5, ch 32
Apr 14 - Finished 'Among the Roses' art project
Apr 14, Red-letter day - Finished book 5, Emissary's Sacrifice, and all five novels of 'Geren's Passage'!
Apr 20 - Wrote 'The Choices of Hu-Hov and the Shado' narrative essay for renewer_rising
Apr 23 - Finished chapter 1 of 'Delarun' section 2
Apr 25 - Finished 'Reunion' picture for upcoming milestone on shouts_of_joy

As for May, that entails getting settled in with my new pc, which I'm moving into this weekend. And lots of learning on all the new versions of the various software I had to get to be 64-bit Windows 7 compatable. Aside from that, there's the editing of Emissary's Sacrifice to keep hammering away at, and hopefully some progress in 'Delarun' section 2 as well, before the horrid summer heat brings writing season to a close until September. I'd also really like to get going with my book 5 completion picture, but that might be slow with all the learning I'll have to do in the process. Can't forget the fun of awaiting and enjoying the arrival of my two last and biggest book 5 completion rewards!

MONSTER FINISH LINE!!1!

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 16:05:17 GMT

Yep, just finished book 5 about an hour ago, and with it, the overarching story of all five of the Geren books. Wow. And as it's the 10th anniversary of finishing book 1 on April 22, at least I got it in under the decade-mark from the end of that book!

Here's the stats!

Comparative Statistics
Title	Hope's Passage	Hu-Hua's Cry (book 1)	The Abdication of Harai (book 2)	The Shadow of Sorrow (book 3)	The Subverted War (book 4)	Emissary's Sacrifice (book 5)
# of pages	120	191	212	214	283	203
# of words	89,000	134,110	148,190	147,970	204,600	150,210
Inception	Dec 26, 2004	Jan 21, 1995	Apr 27, 2001	Sept 22, 2002	Apr 7, 2004	Sept 9, 2009
Completion	Nov 19, 2006	Apr 22, 2001	June 23, 2002	Dec 28, 2003	Jan 10, 2009	Apr 14, 2011
# of days writing	over 94	over 126	over 98	over 96	over 133	over 93

Don't got much to say, I'm so exhausted and disbelieving, and got these sausage-eyelids from all the writing-induced crying the last two days that I wish would go away...but at least I can kick off the last round of money-squandering celebrations!

Oh yes, reading it! (heh) I'll be working toward having paper copies ready for family/local friends sometime in May, I hope. As there was no advance reading group for this book, won't have any chapter .pdfs ready until after that, I expect.

Wow, I finally did it!

Muffed March

Fri, 01 Apr 2011 11:18:53 GMT

Not at all a productive month, as the short list makes evident. That's thanks to the Florida trip, and the getting ready beforehand, catching up afterward, taxes as well. Wish I'd had a short story ready to write, as that would have worked better than attempted messing with longer projects. Oh, well.

Mar 20 - Made 'Leap' avatar
Mar 22 - Finished 'Tiger' avatar
Mar 28 - Finished illustration for 'Beside The Embers'
Mar 29 - Finished Portal Page illustration for 'Beside The Embers'
Mar 29 - Finished book 5, ch 28
Mar 31 - Finished 'Night' avatar

As for April...yeehaw! Got my week off work scheduled for the 11-15, and that 9-day interval is when I plan to write the final scenes of book 5, celebrate, relax, and deal with the emotional fallout of finishing the biggest work of my life. It will be interesting! Got related art projects planned as well, but after that I'll likely be focused on editing so I can get paper copies ready for family, hopefully in May.

Hurrah for April!

Frenzied February

Tue, 01 Mar 2011 12:09:31 GMT

A short month, but quite a full one, jammed with all sorts of stuff going on, between writing stories and great book 5 progress, small art projects, and celebrating my 18th anniversary, while on the other hand, the fun of an MRI and multiple visits to the National Dizzy and Balance Center. Definitely a full February!

Feb 1 - Finished collaboration quote avatar
Feb 2 - Made editing quote avatar
Feb 3 - Made death quote avatar
Feb 5 - Finished writing 'The Courage of Tarlah'
Feb 8 - Finished illustration for 'The Courage of Tarlah'
Feb 12 - Finished group of five illustrations for writing tracker
Feb 13 - Made book 5, map #4
Feb 13 - Finished book 5, ch 24
Feb 14 - Finished book 5, ch 25
Feb 17 - 18th Anniversary day! =D
Feb 19 - Finished book 5, ch 26
Feb 20 - Finished book 5, ch 27
Feb 23 - Finished spring header image for shout_of_joy
Feb 25 - Finished spring sidebar image for shouts_of_joy
Feb 26 - Started writing 'The Last Tutelage' (Copper-novella)

Very pleased to have my yearly writing totals already past 30,000 words. As for March, it probably won't be a productive month, due to a trip to Florida to visit family from March 9-15, then all the catching up and getting back into gear afterward. But whenever that does happen, I hope to start the final run on book 5...just writing this is scaring me...though I probably won't finish until April. I'll also keep moving ahead with getting a new computer, now that I've bought all the software I could in advance and a new monitor as well, and have my PSP cash.

That's the plan, anyway! Time will tell what really happens.

18 years!

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 12:11:06 GMT

Cross-posted from shouts_of_joy because of today's milestone!

Whoot! Big day today, the 18th anniversary of my first 'meeting' t'DoL, and the half-life mark, as I'll turn 36 in a few months. I'm excited to have reached this point--seemed so far away when I first figured it out years back.

Anyway, I did get my 18th anniversary essay up on my Beginnings page, the subject this year being the 'earlier incarnations' of t'DoL in my younger years before 1993.

I also had to use this post to show off the special memento I got myself for reaching this milestone. Another ring: this one 14k gold with a grey diamond, all thanks to wonderful eBay. Just had to do something with t'DoL's colors, and he definitely deserves diamond. ;)

I'll be doing a giveaway as part of my celebrations as well, but that will get kicked off tomorrow. *pinches herself* Now only two years to the 20th!

Comment-locked because comments in multiple places befuddles me completely! Please leave any comments at my main LJ post.

Jolting January

Mon, 31 Jan 2011 11:40:10 GMT

Been a rather bumpy start to the year, after the upheaval from vacation and vertigo, but I'd say I'm about 98% recovered at present, and nice to be rolling ahead again. Nice to be able to walk at speed and not feel like my brain's being sloshed about with each step or that I'm going to fall into something, nice to be able to get out and shovel for a while and not have that motion trouble me at all, let alone showers and reading on the bus. Thank you, God!

Pretty pleased with my list, considering:

Jan 8 - Made 'Ocean' avatar
Jan 8 - Started writing 'The Trial of Tilnon'
Jan 9 - Finished 'Sunrise' avatar
Jan 9 - Made 'Flock' avatar
Jan 18 - Finished writing 'The Trial of Tilnon'
Jan 20 - First whole blood donation of 2011
Jan 20 - Made Portal Page illustration for 'The Trial of Tilnon'
Jan 23 - Started writing 'The Courage of Tarlah'
Jan 25 - Finished illustration for 'Tilnon'
Jan 25 - Made Portal Page illustration for 'The Courage of Tarlah'

As for February, I want to finish 'Tarlah' and its illustration, write my 18th anniversary essay, and get back to book 5 writing. I'm also going to be having fun celebrating my 18th anniversary--the half-life mark--on/around the 17th. Toward the end of the month I'll start gearing up for a trip to visit my aunt in Florida, and since February's a short month, that will be on me sooner than I think...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Sat, 20 Nov 2010 14:05:55 GMT

Been looking forward to this alllll month!

And once again I get to laugh at my slowness. A year for me already, but with book 5 progress, it's just been a day shy of two months for him and Geren! Oh well, at least I have 'Delarun' writing to make up for that...

Click for full-sized version...which may be too taxing for some pcs

It's been over 17 and a half years now he's blessed my life...next time around will be nicely over half of my life. And an inspiration for me every day.

Happy Birthday, Vrnyden!

Giveaway!

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 10:53:26 GMT

Just an announcement so people don't miss out on the birthday giveaway I'm doing over at my main LJ.

Check it out here!

The Chronicles of Delarun

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 00:47:11 GMT

Well, since I finished writing section 4 of 'Delarun' at the end of May, and since it's coming together nicely through editing, I'm finally making this announcement.

If you've read everything else on my Portal Page, and would like to give the written portions of 'Delarun' a try, let me know!

Right now, that means I've got .pdf's of section 1 ('The Slave') and section 3 ('The Traitor') ready for any interested readers. I hope to get section 4 ('The Sentinel') ready to share by the end of June or early July. (As of July 5, section 4 is also ready!)

Of course I understand if you would rather wait until the whole novel is finished. I'd like to get section 5 ('The Sacrifice') written and presentable by the end of 2010, but section 2 ('The Friend') certainly isn't happening until 2011. That's because it's the longest of the five sections, and likely to be more squarely in the 'romance' category of anything I've written, or hopefully will ever write. Time will tell! Besides that, the epilogue certainly won't be written until book 5 is complete.

So this announcement is just for those who might be hankering to read something by me during the long wait for book 5 to be done. If you'd like to start in on 'Delarun' this summer or later this year, just let me know whenever suits your schedule!

I'm also adding a notice at the bottom of my Portal Page with a less windy version of the above announcement...

17 years!

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 13:55:35 GMT

Cross-posted from shouts_of_joy because of today's milestone!

Big day today!

     The 17th of February brings me to my 17th anniversary of first 'meeting' t'DoL!

     Despite being an awful procrastinator, I'm glad I was able to get through my journals so I could write my 17th anniversary essay: Lightning Strikes. It was a LOT of reading:
2004 journal: 42,000 words
2005 journal: 74,500 (excluding Glacier trip on paper)
2006 journal: 102,000
2007 journal: 121,000
2008 journal: 140,000
Those numbers, plus the journals on paper from August 1998 through 2003, means I had to plow through well over half a million words. Phew, I'm glad that's done and I finished the essay 'on time.' (It's staying locked for now until book 5 is complete, just like the 'Objects of Power' essay I wrote two years back.)

     And because I've reached the 17th anniversary, I can finally started letting myself get 'officially' excited about my 18th anniversary. Sure, it's not a big number like 15 or 20, but it's going to be a bigger year for me. Because in 2011 I'll turn 36 after reaching my 18th anniversary--which makes it the 'half-life' mark, and every point thereafter will I'll have spent more than half my life as t'DoL's biographer. Yippee, I'm getting excited, only one year away! =D

Comment-locked because comments in multiple places befuddles me completely! Please leave any comments at my main LJ post

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:02:03 GMT

2009 is flying away and it's t'DoL's birthday again already, eeee!

The most disturbing bit about this, is that by the time of the Geren books, while it's been a year for ME, for Geren and t'DoL it's only been...a little over a month, ahem. Best get moving faster or I'll die of old age before I get anywhere! =D (At least I was hopping about on other places on the timeline in between.)

Writing The Great Wave novella this year has now got me wondering if the Bivordians ever figured out a way to calculate t'DoL's birthday by their calendar...I expect he avoids that nation that time of the year! ;-)

Happy Birthday, Vrnyden!

Stories 'Bubbles'

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 00:33:43 GMT

February 20th brings me to the one-year anniversary of finishing my (so-far only) novella, Nothing Gold Can Stay. And so that was motivation for me to get something done I'd batted around in my head for months (aside from rereading the novella for the nth time--that's fun too!).

Stories bubbles! A diagram showing the links (strong or weak) between the stories and novels I've completed so far. I'm not sure how easy it will be to update this chart, but it was a treat working it out and making it. I didn't include ~~my short gift dialogues up on FictionPress or~~ most tales embedded in my Geren books, but everything else should be on there.

April 2009 note: Went ahead and added gift dialogues (called 'GD') as some of them have connections that have proven helpful to me.

July 2010 note: Finally added the written portions of The Chronicles of Delarun.

January 2017 note: High time I admitted I haven't updated this in a while because I've run out of space!

Makes for a rather messy-looking spiderweb, doesn't it? =)

Last updated, November 7, 2012

The END!

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 02:31:56 GMT

I cannot believe it. Book 4 is DONE. At last. At last, at last, at LAST!

So let me take the metaphorical podium and strew some thanks and gushes around. Gotta start with God. Thank you, God! For getting me alive through this thing, for helping me fill in the huge chapter 24-37 gaps that were almost completely blank to me from 1993 through 2007. Thank you for giving me the strength to get through the brutal scenes where I just wanted to run away; thank you for answering my prayers and giving me the courage when I was too terrified to type a word. And thank you that I won't have to write anything this costly ever again.

Second round of thanks follows up and reinforces what I said in my Gratitude Post in November of 2007. Those who showed kindness to me during the darkest months/year of my life--well, it's only fitting they're on the book dedication for the book that has cost me the most to write, brought the greatest struggle, and laid out the darkest days for my characters too. They didn't make it alone (those that did), and neither did I.

Of course, can't have a book get finished without tossing up the little statistics table I first made for my brother when finishing my first book in 2001.

Comparative Statistics
Title	Hope's Passage	Hu-Hua's Cry (book 1)	The Abdication of Harai (book 2)	The Shadow of Sorrow (book 3)	The Subverted War (book 4)
Number of pages	120	191	212	214	283
Number of words	89,000	134,110	148,190	147,970	204,600
Inception	Dec 26, 2004	Jan 21, 1995	Apr 27, 2001	Sept 22, 2002	Apr 7, 2004
Completion	Nov 19, 2006	Apr 22, 2001	June 23, 2002	Dec 28, 2003	Jan 10, 2009
Number of days writing	over 94	over 126	over 98	over 96	over 133

Last but certainly not least--access! I know at least some of you have champed at the bit to get to this. Here's where I'm at.

Chapter pdfs readers
If you've read 'Allegiance,' 'Vigil,' 'Bookcase,' & etc, and want to dive in or resume, just let me know what suits your schedule! Right now I still have to get chapters 37-39 ready for the ARG!, but I expect I'll get that done before anyone gets through a couple dozen chapters. If you don't have time for short stories, you certainly don't have time for this 200,000 word monstrosity. No rush, mind!

Paper copy readers
I'm afraid those family members and friends who read the paper copies I make are going to have to wait a little bit longer. I need to get chapters 37-39 bashed into shape, then do the final whole-book edits before I drop over $100 on paper copies. Just can't stand doing that until they're reasonably error-free. I am determined to have these ready before my brother's birthday in March, because that was when I handed out book 3 paper copies, 5 years earlier. I don't want to exceed that 5 year milestone!

It's going to take me a long time before I'm emotionally ready to tackle book 5, but my personal goal is that it takes far less than another 5 years!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 12:42:14 GMT

Wow, another year gone and it's t'DoL's birthday again already! (Probably the way he feels about it--another year older every time he turns around!)

Anyway, no flowers, virtual cakes, or wooden bowls for gifts this time. I'm beat, and I think what he wants the most is for me to get him to the end of book 4--so them's my marching orders.

Happy Birthday, Vrnyden!

Novella!

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 22:31:22 GMT

This post is to announce that my first 'real' novella, Nothing Gold can Stay (as opposed to oversized-novella-turned-novel-Hope's-Passage ;) is up on my Portal Page!

Those folks who commented on 'A Gift for Parting' (that takes place shortly beforehand) are on the filter to access 'Nothing Gold.' Enjoy whenever you have the time--it's broken into five sections for easier reading.

Nothing Gold can Stay is dedicated to the wonderful Pantha, and she has already read and commented on it, so don't let courtesy hold you back!

Why'd I pick Pantha? Glad you asked! ;D

1) First and foremost, for being there last year, during the darkest passage of my life in those months of major depression. Those that did not shun me, those that dropped by shouts_of_joy and showed compassion and kindness by just being around--they're the ones that helped me make it through. Wouldn't be alive now to spam up folk's friends lists if it weren't for a bunch of people, including Pantha, last year.

2) Secondly, she's a voracious reader, and recently finished my third Geren book (or I wouldn't have been able to let her see the spoilers in the novella anyway). She's gobbled down nearly all my short stories, and it was way past time she had something dedicated to her. Of course people that don't pounce on my stories aren't going to get one dedicated to them--that would be silly, like trying to give a cat a salad or a hyarmi filet mignon!

3) Also, there was her excitement in March 2007 when I first posted my plans for writing 'Nothing Gold.' Enthusiasm for a story is beyond all value to me, so it was a logical 'match' when I was pondering over whom to dedicate my first real novella to.

Last and not least, she's just plain wonderful!

Hopefully I'm done spamming this journal for some time now, and just back to the daily fun on shouts_of_joy.

Beginnings (and Middles)

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 13:58:32 GMT

This is simply a 'hub page' that links to various posts about the beginnings of things, as well as about later years that just keep getting further away. I'm only getting older, so my memory of 1993-2003 and beyond is only going to get dimmer. The more I get down, the less will be lost.

If you missed one of these or are simply curious, feel welcome to take a peek!

Inspirations for my Writing

(People, tales, and movies)
WARNING: contains book 1 spoilers!

Inspirations for my Writing, chapter 2

(Inspirations from the age of 5 to 15)
1) This is viewable to those who comment on 'Characters and Transitions'
2) No significant book spoilers

What Inspired the Hyarmi

(Or, what do wormy wood and ewoks have in common?)

The Development of the Hyarmi Appearance

(Did you know I drew Grumpy-pelt in 1993?)

The Origins of a few Character Names

(Llao and Winnie-the-Pooh!)
WARNING: contains book 1 spoilers!

15th Anniversary post: Oldest Characters and Hardest Transitions

(Or, how Hu-Harek, Fynydov, and Heruvael were trapped in my head for over a decade)

15th Anniversary post: Defender Rising

(He showed up with his fledgling plumage first...)
This is viewable to those who comment on 'Characters and Transitions'

15th Anniversary post: Mighty Shado

(I owe its looks to eBay!)
WARNING: contains book 1-3 spoilers!
1) This is viewable to those who comment on 'Characters and Transitions'
2) Designed to be read after 'Defender Rising.'

15th Anniversary post: The Oldest Words

(So farmer Bill in the tavern says to Harry, he says...)
1) This is viewable to those who comment on 'Characters and Transitions'
2) Designed to be read after 'Defender Rising.'

15th-16th Anniversary post: What was I thinking?!

(Stupid or crazy abandoned plot threads)
WARNING: contains book 1-5 spoilers!
1) This is viewable to those who comment on 'Characters and Transitions'
2) Designed to be read after 'Defender Rising.'

18th Anniversary post: Half-life ain't the Half of it!

(Earlier 'incarnations' of t'DoL throughout my childhood)
1) This is viewable to those who comment on 'Characters and Transitions'
2) Designed to be read after 'Defender Rising.'

19th Anniversary post: What I Would Have Done Differently

(If I could send myself a note back in time...)
1) This is viewable to those who comment on 'Characters and Transitions'
2) Designed to be read after 'Defender Rising.'

20th Anniversary post: Twenty Years of Blessings

(Of life, love, and laffing)
1) No significant book spoilers
2) Designed to be read after 'Defender Rising.'

21st Anniversary post: The Comparison Game

(The scorecard in my head of a contest that never ends...)
1) Won't make much sense unless you know what 'hyarmi' and 'avarii' are
2) Very minor spoilers for the first couple Geren books.

22(.5)nd Anniversary post: False Expectations

(False expectations of me from reading my books)
1) No significant book spoilers
2) Assumes familiarity with my (currently 8) books.

15th Anniversary post: The Objects of Power

(a 13-year journey that likely isn't over...)
WARNING: contains book 1-5 (and beyond) spoilers!
This essay viewable only to those who have read all five Geren novels

17th Anniversary post: Lightning Strikes!

(Those wonderful 'light-bulb' moments)
WARNING: contains book 4-5 (and beyond) spoilers!
This essay viewable only to those who have read all five Geren novels

20th Anniversary post: Of Geren and his Books

(Themes, ditties, and tidbits relating to Geren and his books)
WARNING: contains book 1-5 (and beyond) spoilers!
This essay viewable only to those who have read all five Geren novels

24th Anniversary post: Me, myself and the Villains

(Aka, out of the closet and straight into the dumpster)
WARNING: Disturbing content alert!
This essay viewable to those who have read at least through the fourth Geren book, as it won't make sense otherwise.

Last modified: February 17, 2017

1993: Characters and Transitions

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 15:07:32 GMT

This is a follow-up to last weekend's post introducing my big anniversary month, and a lead-in to next weekend's 'the big day' post. It's also my 500th post in this journal! Quite fitting, I think. =)

I've been doing some looking through my oldest notes and notebook, and that's shown me that I really don't have much in the way of date demarcations at first, so anything spoken of below could as likely apply to 1994 as to 1993.

Still, I do know that both t'DoL and Geren were about and interacting by the time September of 1993 came, because I have a picture of them together that I drew in my planner from my very first week of college. It always surprises me how much of the raw framework of the story that would become the Geren books I'd already learned by that point.

I've got my first timeline (named 'Preliminary Timetable') in front of me right now, and I actually had the wits to date it--Nov 22, 1994. Even better, I did it neatly in ink, so everything added after Nov 22 is obvious both because it's in pencil and either squished in or written off to the side (I put in a line over which to enter the name of Heruvael's mate, as I hadn't come up with it yet). It's also fun spotting the things that have changed in my conception since the way it was viewed in 1994. Imro and family were far more important than they wound up becoming, and none of the characters of the Separatists (though I did know of their existence) had yet emerged. This timetable used t'DoL's age as a counter, as I hadn't yet arrived at the Hu-Harek-based hyarmi year markers. It took me a bit to switch my brain from one to the other, with occasional trip-ups over old notes in the old reckoning (and I still use t'DoL's age as one of five reckonings in my master Excel timeline now).

Anyway, characters! The first hyarmi characters to appear were Heruvael and Hileko, followed at some point afterward by the Black Prince and Hu-Harek. Again, amusing to me, seeing as aside from 'A Parent's Woe,' (1997) Heruvael didn't get written about until I tackled his part in Hope's Passage in 2005, and the same goes for Hu-Harek. Back in my college days, I spent more time mentally in the years when Heruvael was still alive, and Hileko felt a puppet stand-in for his father...I wanted to remedy that, so started writing 'Reunion' (then crappily called 'Return and Trial') in my senior year. That and the subsequent three hyarmi stories got me magnificently acquainted with Hileko and Hu-Hov, and then it was Heruvael that long kept the backstage. The Black Prince at least got himself mentioned in my book 1 writing in 1998, but didn't make his dramatic personal entrance until 2000.

Geren, of course, was my first human character. He was followed by Brann (the peerless swordsman that gave t'DoL the Master-sword) and Imro and his family as well as Geren's family. Three still-unnamed characters from the Geren sequels emerged around the same time; I have a sketch of one of them. I think I deduced trapper Arun's existence sometime in 1996 or 1997 (or at the least t'DoL started shoving me toward him in 1997). Copper and Llao did not emerge until sometime after I graduated in 1997, but I know Copper and his red head and Changer-obsession was in existence in 1998.

I'm afraid I will not be going into detail about the first three avarii characters here, as that would entail book 1-4 spoilers (don't speculate, ye ARG! ;). As it is, they were followed by t'DoL's family, whom I didn't write about until 2005, as well as The Changer himself, for that matter.

Now, babbling about the earliest characters like this might give the misleading impression that all this world-building and tale-weaving was intended for the purpose of launching me into the Geren books and the short stories I've written throughout the years. But that was certainly not my plan back then.

No, this 'world' I was working my way into was only one in a string of fantasy places my imagination had inhabited throughout the years. I was 'only' doing all this for the purpose of personal daydreaming, and nothing more! It wasn't until late 1994 that I started setting the first stories down on paper, and even then, I had no plan of taking them anywhere. I knew at the time that my daydreaming-tales tended to grow and change over a period of months as I revisited them over and over, but by some point, perhaps as long as three years, they would be forgotten, buried under new and more immediately-interesting fantasies. So, I started writing Brann's tale, and also Geren's encounter with Imro that would become chapter 1 of my first book, simply because I was fond enough of them that I didn't want to forever lose them, as I have almost everything else that spun through my mind in my high school years and earlier.

Certainly it wasn't until 1995 or 1996 that the idea of writing all of the beginning part of Geren's adventures into some huge, multi-book epic really gripped my thoughts (and made me wonder about my sanity). But there was a far bigger hurdle to overcome than just springing the idea in my mind.

In order to get anything of real length down, I had to learn how to daydream differently. Back in the 'good old days' they were more like guided dreams, full of image and color but almost no words whatsoever. Very, very different from the sound of a detached narrative voice with only brief flashes of images and action. Getting myself from image-daydreaming to narrative-daydreaming was the biggest hurdle of my college years. I still remember how odd it felt the first times I actually managed the transition...usually as I was just falling asleep and certainly wasn't in a position to write anything down! The 'side-effect' of this was that I would have characters in my mind for months and years, and they never got names. It's only now, fifteen years later, that I've gotten to the point where I occasionally name a character before I 'see' them in my mind.

The writing I did in my college years was minuscule in terms of volume. (And I spent as much time, if not more, with the Geren book sequels than the Geren story itself in my college years) But the transitioning in my mind, the worldbuilding and initial timeline, the mental playing with tales that still haven't made it into text (just see my 'What's cooking...' page!)...all that is the foundation for everything I've accomplished since.

tosses apple blossoms

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 12:19:27 GMT

Yep, it's come around again already!

So I just had to have a little silly fun with this place I found online.

http://www.theoworlds.com/birthday2007/

Pity LJ won't show .swf files, because the candle-flames dance and flicker so nicely in the original version!

Anyway, in honor of t'DoL's birthday, I got 'Hened Ascendant' up and available from my Portal Page. Been too long since I added a new story there.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VRNYDEN!

Stories Timeline

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 23:13:52 GMT

Here it is...again. A timeline showing where in my world's history the various short stories, novellas, and novels I've written fall out. I wanted a timeline that was more easily updated and less cluttered, hence a shift to Excel. (And I learned something new about Excel in the process--hurrah!)

Notes:

The dates are all in the hyarmi reckoning. DH dates count from the year of Hu-Harek's birth; AK dates from the year of her death.

'Humanocentric' stories are in blue
'Hyarmicentric' stories are in green
'Avariicentric' or other stories are in purple

Some tales embedded in other novels/stories like Lirek's Tale (350 AK), or the tale of Ilgarr that Copper partially narrates in 'Saltwater,' are not shown here. The novel The Chronicles of Delarun is not included here, due to the fact that it touches on events between 162 and 440 AK. The short story 'Happy Birthday, Defender!' is also excluded because it takes place in 289, 402, and 409 AK.

Last updated: January 31, 2017

My Stories on LiveJournal

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 01:03:04 GMT

This entry serves as a 'portal' to the assorted short stories, snippets, and novellas of my writing posted on LiveJournal itself. Stories are grouped by accessibility. Pieces further down are related to Hope's Passage, my Geren books, or The Chronicles of Delarun.

For those who want to read short blurbs on what the stories are about, I've assembled a description page, which also includes the stories not currently online.

Curious when things occur in relation to each other? Check out the Stories Timeline!

NOTE: Most stories are filter-locked, accessible to LJ-friends who have commented on recent stories. If you want to read a story and can't view it, please ask.

LATEST ADDITION, FEB 2017
-The Furthest Leap (novella)
Sept 2015 Addition
-'The Reformation of Tarreg'

Go to Stories related to Hope's Passage
Go to Stories related to the Geren books
Go to The Chronicles of Delarun and related stories
Go to The Fourth Emissary and related stories

General audience stories

The Tale of the Apple-Grower
Length: 2,100 words Dedication: none (addendum to book 1) When written: July 18-20, 1998 Story year: 60 AK POV: Storyteller's omniscient Audience: Anyone Reader Notes: Geren's favorite story and an important thread in my five Geren books.

Reunion
Length: 11,650 words Dedication: none When written: March 10 - December 14, 1997, revised August 15 - September 21, 2002 Story year: 400 AK POV: Hileko Heruvael-son Audience: Anyone Reader Notes: A fairly good introduction to hyarmi and the Council.

Hu-Hov's Debut
Length: 10,060 words Dedication: none When written: July 5-26, 1999 Story year: 402 AK POV: Hu-Hov Audience: Anyone Reader Notes: A fairly good introduction to hyarmi and the Council. Does not have to be read after 'Reunion.'

The Final Circuit
Length: 11,340 words Dedication: none When written: April 30 - June 9, 2000, revised March 7-12, 2004 Story year: 403 AK POV: Hu-Hov and others Audience: Anyone Reader Notes: Best if read after 'Reunion' and 'Hu-Hov's Debut.'

The Folly of Horanu
Length: 1,250 words Dedication: Jenna When written: July 14, 2005 Story year: 197 AK POV: Hyarmi historical omniscient Audience: Anyone Reader Notes: Contains a small spoiler for 'Hu-Hov's Debut.'

Allegiance
Length: 1,970 words Dedication: Jack London, Jim Kjelgaard, and J W Lippincott When written: December 2, 2007 - March 22, 2008 Story year: 39 AK POV: Omniscient Audience: Anyone who wants more of the Wolf-Lord. Reader Notes: No dialogue.

Wildfire
Length: 8,300 words Dedication: Christina When written: December 4 - 10, 2006 Story year: 296 AK POV: Hu-Hure/Hovenn Audience: Anyone Reader Notes: Small link with 'Hu-Hov's Debut,' as Hovenn is Hu-Hov's great-grandfather

Sheltering Wings
Length: 7,500 words Dedication: none When written: November 24-28, 2007 Story year: 373-4 AK POV: Saenna Audience: Anyone who knows what the Council of the Races is. Reader Notes: Small connection with my Geren books, no real spoilers.

The Reformation of Tarreg
Length: 8,560 words Dedication: none When written: July 12 - August 21, 2015 Story year: 405 AK, but describing prior years POV: Tarreg Audience: Readers of my Geren books and/or 'Sheltering Wings.' Reader Notes: Major spoilers for 'Sheltering Wings' and minor ones for The Fourth Emissary.

Beside the Bookcase
Length: 2,550 words Dedication: Shanra When written: September 8-9, 2008 Story year: 381 AK POV: Hened Audience: Readers of my books or hyarmi stories. Reader Notes: Aimed at fans of Hened or Heruvael.

Heritage
Length: 3,880 words Dedication: none (it's too unhappy) When written: September 16-20, 2009 Story year: 392 AK POV: Historian Hened Audience: Readers of my books or hyarmi stories. Reader Notes: Aimed at readers of 'Beside the Bookcase,' contains spoilers for that story.

Bedtime
Length: 1,360 words Dedication: Leigh When written: April 3, 2004 Story year: 388 AK POV: Omniscient Audience: Readers of my books or hyarmi stories. Reader Notes: Dialogue-only story.

(back to top)

Stories related to Hope's Passage

Of the Coming of Heruvael to Hu-Harek
Length: 2,500 words Dedication: Shanra (unBirthday gift) When written: September 2-26, 2006 Story year: 959 DH POV: Heruvael/Hu-Harek Audience: *Readers of Hope's Passage* and 'One Shining Day.'** Reader Notes: My only story (to date) set before t'DoL's birth.

One Shining Day
Length: 11,330 words Dedication: My mother When written: September 18-28, 2005 Story year: 1045 DH POV: Twilight-Hope Audience: *Readers of my books or Hope's Passage.* Reader Notes: My sole avarii-centric story to date.

Encounters
Length: 6,000 words Dedication: none When written: December 26, 2011 - January 8, 2012 Story year: 1041 DH POV: Winter-Mist Audience: Readers of my books. Reader Notes: Spoilers for my fourth Geren book. Best read after 'One Shining Day' despite taking place before it.

The Stalking
Length: 5,400 words Dedication: Jennifer When written: May 1-15, 2004 Story year: 1050 DH POV: Trapper Arun Audience: *Readers of Hope's Passage.* Reader Notes: Contains spoilers for Hope's Passage.

A Song in the Twilight
Length: 7,760 words Dedication: Christi When written: September 11 - October 9, 2004 Story year: 1054 DH POV: Hu-Halle Audience: Readers of my books. Reader Notes: Contains HUGE spoilers for Geren book 3 and small ones for Hope's Passage. Please ask if interested in reading.

A Gift for Parting
Length: 3,250 words Dedication: none When written: November 18-21, 2007 Story year: 1065 DH POV: Omniscient Audience: *Readers of Hope's Passage* and Geren book 3. (Must have read 'A Song in the Twilight.')** Reader Notes: Contains spoilers for my Geren book 3 and small ones for Hope's Passage. Please ask if interested in reading.

Nothing Gold can Stay
Length: 31,810 words Dedication: Pantha When written: December 23, 2007 - February 20, 2008 Story year: 1066 DH/0 AK POV: Omniscient Audience: Readers of 'A Gift for Parting' and Geren book 3. Reader Notes: Contains huge spoilers Geren book 3 and small ones for Hope's Passage. Please ask if interested in reading.

You Find What You Look For
Length: 2,470 words Dedication: none When written: April 20 - May 3, 2014 Story year: 1055 and 1066 DH POV: Omniscient Audience: *Readers of Hope's Passage* and Nothing Gold Can Stay.** Reader Notes: Contains small spoilers for Hope's Passage.

Defender
Length: 11,410 words Dedication: Christina When written: March 3 - April 6, 2009 Story year: 20 AK POV: Tamil & Acolyte Hileko Audience: *Readers of Nothing Gold Can Stay.* Reader Notes: Contains small spoilers for my third Geren book and Nothing Gold Can Stay, please ask if interested in reading.

The Furthest Leap
Length: 31,870 words Dedication: My mother When written: September 19, 2016 - January 30, 2017 Story year: 73-74 AK POV: Jonill Audience: *Readers of Nothing Gold Can Stay.* Reader Notes: No major spoilers

(back to top)

Stories related to the Geren books

Master-Stone's Warder
Length: 11,470 words Dedication: none When written: November 19, 2000 - February 15, 2001 Story year: 410 AK POV: Hileko Heruvael-son Audience: Readers of 'Reunion,' 'Hu-Hov's Debut,' and 'The Final Circuit.' Reader Notes: Best read after the first Geren book, Hu-Hua's Cry.

Pranks
Length: 2,680 words Dedication: Written for Herscher Project #6 When written: April 4-10, 2004 Story year: 413 AK POV: Hu-Hov Audience: Readers of my books or hyarmi stories. Reader Notes: Best read after the first Geren book, Hu-Hua's Cry.

The Swap
Length: 3,600 words Dedication: none (Book 4 therapy-piece) When written: August 26 - September 19, 2006 Story year: 299 AK POV: Sorenn Audience: Readers of my books. Reader Notes: Best read after the first Geren book, Hu-Hua's Cry.

Saltwater
Length: 4,290 words Dedication: Alyssa and Becca When written: February 4-6, 2006 Story year: 439/434 AK POV: Copper Audience: Copper-fans. Reader Notes: Best read after the first Geren book, Hu-Hua's Cry.

Hened Ascendant
Length: 6,890 words Dedication: none When written: November 4-10, 2007 Story year: 387 AK POV: Historian Hened Audience: *Readers of my Geren books or hyarmi stories or Hope's Passage.* Reader Notes: Best read after The Abdication of Harai.

Of Insults and Arguments
Length: 4,860 words Dedication: Damien When written: March 17-22, 2004 Story year: 437 AK POV: Master-historian Hened Audience: Readers of my second book. Reader Notes: Best read after starting The Shado of Sorrow.

Wrane: I remember
Length: 5,940 words Dedication: Becca When written: October 13 - November 7, 2004 Story year: 437 AK POV: Wrane Audience: Readers of my books. Reader Notes: Best read after The Shado of Sorrow.

Vigil
Length: 17,200 words Dedication: none (it's too unhappy) When written: May 11 - June 1, 2008 Story year: 315 AK POV: Heruvael Audience: Readers of my books. Reader Notes: Best read after The Shado of Sorrow.

Comment through here (excluding Hope's Passage-related pieces) and you're eligible to join the ARG! and read the fourth and fifth Geren books.

'Alternate'
Length: 3,500 words Dedication: none (Book 3 therapy-piece) When written: November 15-16, 2003 Story year: 437 AK POV: Hileko Heruvael-son Audience: Readers of my third/fourth books. Reader Notes: Best read after The Shado of Sorrow. Please ask if interested in reading.

On the Twilit Wind
Length: 3,210 words Dedication: none When written: July 5-23, 2008 Story year: 418 AK POV: Tamaresh Audience: Readers of my books. Reader Notes: Best read after the third Geren book, The Shado of Sorrow.

The Black Prince Apologia
Length: 6,240 words Dedication: none When written: October 28 - November 5, 2012 Story year: 438 AK POV: The Black Prince Audience: Readers of my fourth book. Reader Notes: Best read after the prologue of The Subverted War.

Tongue-tied
Length: 2,500 words Dedication: The ARG! When written: December 13-14, 2007 Story year: 438 AK POV: Master-historian Hened Audience: Members of the wonderful ARG! Reader Notes: Best read after chapter four of The Subverted War.

Dispossession
Length: 2,140 words Dedication: Anne When written: March 6-10, 2006 Story year: 439 AK POV: The Black Prince Audience: Readers of my fourth book. Reader Notes: Best read after chapter six of The Subverted War. Please ask if interested in reading.

In The Pit
Length: 3,370 words Dedication: none When written: September 5-6, 2010 Story year: 439 AK POV: Master-historian Hened Audience: Readers of my fourth book. Reader Notes: Best read after chapter fourteen of The Subverted War. Please ask if interested in reading.

The Secrets of Fynydov
Length: 6,000 words Dedication: The ARG! When written: September 11-17, 2008 Story year: 126 AK POV: 'Eavesdropper' Audience: Members of the wonderful ARG! Reader Notes: Dialogue. Best read after chapter twenty-one of The Subverted War. Please ask if interested in reading.

Shadowe
Length: 3,810 words Dedication: The ARG! When written: May 5-6, 2008 Story year: 403 AK POV: Hileko Heruvael-son Audience: Members of the wonderful ARG! Reader Notes: Best read after chapter twenty-one of The Subverted War. Please ask if interested in reading.

Alliance
Length: 7,160 words Dedication: The ARG! When written: August 31 - September 14, 2014 Story year: 411 AK POV: Harai Audience: Readers of my Geren books Reader Notes: Best read after chapter one of the fifth Geren book, Emissary's Sacrifice.

The Trial of Tilnon
Length: 6,720 words Dedication: none (too unsettling) When written: January 8-18, 2011 Story year: 276 AK POV: Tilnon Audience: Readers of my Geren books or hyarmi stories. Reader Notes: Minor link to the fifth Geren book, Emissary's Sacrifice, no significant spoilers.

The Great Wave
Length: 29,330 words Dedication: my mother When written: March 17 - May 8, 2009 Story year: 350 AK POV: Hyarmi historical omniscient Audience: *Readers of Nothing Gold Can Stay.* Reader Notes: As of April 2011, Geren book 5 spoiler-scene has been inserted. Also contains small spoilers for 'Delarun'.

The Last Tutelage
Length: 22,900 words Dedication: Copper-fans When written: February 26 - October 29, 2011 Story year: 439-440 AK POV: Copper Audience: Readers of my five Geren books. Reader Notes: Best read after chapter eight of Emissary's Sacrifice.

Beside The Embers
Length: 1,640 words Dedication: Me! (for surviving the Major Depression year) When written: November 13-14, 2007 Story year: 440 AK POV: Geren Audience: Readers of my five Geren books. Reader Notes: Dialogue set shortly after the end of Emissary's Sacrifice. HUGE spoilers for the end of my fifth Geren book.

The Restoration of Tarek
Length: 6,880 words Dedication: Readers of my Geren books When written: May 29 - June 5, 2011 Story year: 440 AK POV: Geren Audience: Readers of my five Geren books. Reader Notes: Wrap-up story set shortly after the end of Emissary's Sacrifice. HUGE spoilers for the end of my fifth Geren book.

(back to top)

The Chronicles of Delarun and related stories

Read everything above and STILL want more? Let me know if you're interested in reading The Chronicles of Delarun.

As of November 2012, the entire novel is available on pdf.

To Serve Unseen
Length: 5,160 words Dedication: Readers of 'Delarun' When written: March 29 - April 12, 2014 Story year: 321 AK POV: Kirih Audience: *Readers of The Chronicles of Delarun.* Reader Notes: Contains spoilers for 'Delarun.'

The Courage of Tarlah
Length: 7,010 words Dedication: Readers of 'Delarun' When written: January 23 - February 5, 2011 Story year: 401 AK POV: Tarlah Audience: *Readers of The Chronicles of Delarun.* Reader Notes: Contains spoilers for 'Delarun.' WARNING: non-explicit adult content.

Happy Birthday, Defender!
Length: 7,790 words Dedication: t'DoL, of course! When written: September 28 - October 21, 2014 Story year: 289, 402, and 409 AK POV: Hu-Hov, Tarlah, and Giria Audience: *Readers of my five Geren books and The Chronicles of Delarun.* Reader Notes: Contains spoilers for 'Delarun.'

Resurrection
Length: 9,320 words Dedication: none (2010 resolution story) When written: July 4-19, 2010 Story year: 426 AK POV: Septurn Audience: *Readers of The Chronicles of Delarun* and/or fifth Geren book.** Reader Notes: Spoilers for 'Delarun,' and minor ones for book 5.

The Last Orphan
Length: 19,560 words Dedication: none When written: January 29 - April 10, 2012 Story year: 439-440 AK POV: Tarlah Audience: *Readers of my five Geren books and The Chronicles of Delarun.* Reader Notes: HUGE spoilers for Geren books 4-5, and also spoilers for 'Delarun.' Assumes the reader has read 'Delarun' section 5 and 'The Courage of Tarlah.'

(back to top)

The Fourth Emissary and related stories

Read everything above and STILL want more? Let me know if you're interested in reading The Fourth Emissary.

(Can be read before/independently of 'Delarun').

t'ACm 405
Length: 3,940 words Dedication: none When written: February 16 - March 2, 2014 Story year: 405 AK POV: Hu-Hov Audience: *Readers of The Fourth Emissary.* Reader Notes: Contains spoilers for my Geren books and The Fourth Emissary.

On The Water
Length: 860 words Dedication: Becca Lusher When written: February 11, 2007 Story year: 429 AK POV: Omniscient Audience: Anyone who wants more of the Shado. Reader Notes: Best read after the third Geren book, The Shado of Sorrow.

Last updated, February 17, 2017

About the ARG! (For those interested in reading my Geren books)

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 17:12:15 GMT

First off, for those of you who have not read my Geren books and aren't interested, there's no reason to read on, unless for the sake of curiosity alone. I've been needlessly vague about some things, in part because this whole arrangement has been slowly changing over the months, and is a bit different from my first conception in 2005.

I'm going to spell out my concept as of this point, and in so doing, bind myself to it.

What is the ARG!? (Oh, it's fun to break punctuation rules like this =)
The ARG! is an acronym for Advance Reading Group. I added the exclamation point when I realized the acronym was pronounceable and reminded me of poor Charlie Brown's frustrated exclamations.

The ARG! is composed of individuals (who may or may not be writers themselves) who read my fourth book in advance of its completion. The ARG! is a restricted group; to join one must meet the requirements.

What are the requirements to join the ARG!?
Well, firstly, one has to have read my first three Geren books. It's unfair to both the reader and the story to try to start reading with book 4!

With that stated, the general requirement to be a part of the ARG! is that one must have commented on everything of my writing posted above the 'ARG!-eligibility' marker on my Portal Page (this excludes the Hope's Passage-related pieces).

This is not exhaustive: pieces not hosted online are not included, nor are pieces hosted in the Triune books community. Nor does it include any non-fiction pieces or poetry or anything else on my FictionPress page.

Why were such strict requirements made?
Seems a bit arrogant of me, I'm guessing. The reason I do it is because I'm looking for commitment. I don't know why the folks who qualified read everything I posted. It could be love of the stories, it could be love of me, it could be both, it could be something else. But my hope is that such an individual, having come that far, would not turn aside at a whim in mid-stride.

I'm doing this to protect myself. Much as I love Hope's Passage, it is my five Geren books (and their troublesome sequels) that are the chief focus of my creative passion. My 'magnum opus;' my life's work. And since they are a source of some of my strongest fulfillments and deepest joys...well, as I've learned with piercing clarity in 2004-2005, they can also be the source of some of my deepest hurts.

Everyone who starts reading the books and drops out, disappoints and grieves me. Those who I had acquaintance and friendship with much, much more so than those I basically knew by name only from my days on Wyvern's Library or FictionPress.

I do this to try to protect myself from anguish so crippling it hinders my ability to write and eat. Those who read, particularly of books 3-5, are holding a large part of my heart in their hands, maudlin as that may sound. I can't speak for others, but I am an artist in temperament--I cannot be detached; I cannot create without passion.

Is the ARG! still open? Where will it lead?
Yes, the ARG! is still open. The events of the 2005 have brought me to the conclusion that I will not have a general reading group for the last two Geren books, or any other novels I write. As only those who have read book 4 can proceed to book 5, it would be unjust to close the door at the end of book 3 for everyone else.

It might be inaccurate to call any latecomers who may join up after I've finished writing books 4 and 5 a part of the ARG!, but it is essentially the same thing. They just might see later drafts than the earlier readers. (And those later drafts will be available to any other ARG! members who ask.)

Those in the ARG! for book 4 will be eligible to continue to book 5 when they so desire. They will be eligable to read The Chronicles of Delarun and The Fourth Emissary if they are interested in doing so. They will also be eligible to read the 'Renewer Rising' novels, but those could easily be a decade off.

However, one does not have to be a member of the ARG! to read non-spoiler-containing pieces set before the time of my Geren books, though the number of those I will write in the future is likely to be quite limited.

Of course, as it stands this is unfair to those of you who met me long after I kicked off the reading group back in 2004/early 2005. If any of you 'qualify' along the same lines, and want to start reading the books, I'm actually ready for you! You are welcome to drop me an e-mail and let me know of your interest. The response I receive (if any) will dictate in what order I tackle future book rewrites and editing. (As of May 2014, Geren books 1-5, 'The Chronicles of Delarun' and 'The Fourth Emissary' are available for ARG! members.)

October 2006 edit
Clarification regarding commitment
I suppose some of you reading the above might believe that once having started book 1, you would be obligated to slog through all five of them, regardless of preference or liking.

Not so. If you start the first book and find that Geren or his story, for whatever reason, doesn't suit your taste, then please stop! The sooner, the better. I've had loads of people bail in book 1, a few more won't kill me. It doesn't do either of us a benefit to have you read something not to your liking.

Any reader is also quite free to stop at the end of any book and not continue--whether it be for time issues, busyness, health issues, a sudden loathing of high fantasy...whatever the reason. A book at a time is all I'm asking.

But please, if you start a book, finish it. (Aside from book 1 mentioned above.) The cruelest insult you can give me is to start a book and then drop it. Obviously life can intervene on all our plans in quite nasty ways. What I'm asking for is for a commitment that from book 2 onward, if you start, you'll make a reasonable effort to finish. That's all.

And if you change your mind again at a later date and want to resume reading with the next book in the set, all you have to do is ask. If you've read through my short stories, there will be no hesitation--I'd be delighted to have you back aboard!

Last tweaked, May 2014

For shanra...

Wed, 17 May 2006 11:13:20 GMT

In an e-mail recently, Shanra mentioned an interest in learning what songs I associate with my characters. So I decided I would post my answer here, both in case anyone else is interested, and as an easier reference for myself, rather than doing all the legwork and having the e-mail get buried in a file somewhere. I've been very tempted over the last year to burn t'DoL's, Hileko's, and Arun & Fledgling's songs to share with you guys, but my conscience won't permit me, spoilsport that it is.

This isn't too overwhelmingly long, simply because I don't have that many associations. Only nine songs, and seven characters/sets of characters, of which four don't have lyrics. You might be surprised to know I don't have one for Geren at all. [August 2008 edit: Now I do! Now I do! At last I do!]

The song I associate with the Defender of Life (aka t'DoL) is a fairly obscure piece in the classical style. 'Call to Glory' by Bert Truax. The instruments are trumpets, drums (timpani and snare)...and organ! This piece really can't be done justice unless heard with very good headphones (which I no longer have *sniffs*) or surround sound, because to get the most out of it, you have to hear where the various instruments are playing from.
The trumpet that cries out at the start, in the middle, and alone again at the end comes from above and behind, feeling as though it's in the air and quite distant. The drums and the shriller trumpets that respond to that call are on the ground, close, and excited in their tones; the organ joins in for a time. It's bit hard for me to describe it all very well, but the distant, lofty calling reminds me of t'DoL in this song, and the other instruments like those affected by his life/deeds/glamor/whatnot. So much feverish excitement, yet their lives pass so quickly, leaving him alone again. Oh well, that's my clumsy attempt. The clip below only has the opening bit, so you can't hear the other instruments.
You can hear a little snippet of the music at Amazon.com here. (track twelve) [August 2008 edit: Sample no longer available =( ]

Hileko Heruvael-son is the only one of my characters (so far) to have two songs I associate solely with him.
Hileko's main song is 'Deirdre Of The Sorrows' by Mychael Danna, which I discovered on my Celtic Twilight, Vol 1 cd--a compilation of New Age pieces from various artists. It's a beautifully sad piece, no lyrics, but what really made the association for me aside from its sweet sorrow is that in my mind I imagine a forest in the pale green-golds of spring--all serene and pure. Seeing as golden-green is the color of Hileko's mage-fire, and I associate him with the forest and with springtime and hope, it's a perfect match for me.
You can hear the whole song here! [August 2008 edit: Replaced defunct Amazon.com link]

The second song is a song whose lyrics remind me of an important scene between Hileko and Geren in my third book...the music itself doesn't fit Hileko, just the sentiment in the chorus and the title--'The Only Thing I need'...I Already Have.
You can read the lyrics by 4HIM here.
And you can hear a little snippet of the music at Amazon.com here. (track two) [August 2008 edit: Still there!]

I also have a song associated with Arun and his fledgling in 'Hope's Passage' and 'The Stalking.'
It's from the gorgeous, unique soundtrack for the movie 'Winged Migration.' The title is 'To Be By Your Side,' composed by Nick Cave and Bruno Coulais, sung by Nick Cave.
You can hear a little snippet of the music here. [August 2008 edit: Replaced defunct Amazon.com link]

Across the oceans across the seas,
Over forests of blackened trees,
Through valleys so still we dare not breathe,
To be by your side.

Over the shifting desert plains,
Across mountains all in flames,
Through howling winds and driving rains,
To be by your side.

Every mile and every year
For every one a little tear,
I cannot explain this, dear,
I will not even try.

Into the night as the stars collide,
Across the borders that divide
Forests of stone standing petrified,
To be by your side.

Every mile and every year,
For every one a single tear,
I cannot explain this, dear,
I will not even try.

For I know one thing,
Love comes on a wing.
For tonight I will be by your side,
But tomorrow I will fly.

From the deepest ocean to the highest peak,
Through the frontiers of your sleep,
Into the valley where we dare not speak,
To be by your side.

Across the endless wilderness
Where all the beasts bow down their heads,
Darling, I will never rest
Till I am by your side.

Every mile and every year,
Time and distance disappear
I cannot explain this, dear
No, I will not even try.

And I know just one thing,
Love comes on a wing
And tonight I will be by your side,
But tomorrow I will fly away,
Love rises with the day
And tonight I may be by your side,
But tomorrow I will fly,
Tomorrow I will fly,
Tomorrow I will fly.

Besides the wings, flying and traveling across varied landscapes, and the affection in the song, the other reason I associate it with that pair is the whole leaving and returning theme, since over the latter years of Arun's life, it's always young t'DoL that leaves and returns to him, again and again.

Next is the song I recently came to associate with t'DoL's parents, Sunbright-Wilderness and Winter-Mist. My coworkers that work in the scanning area like to listen to 'oldies'--pop music from the 60's and 70's. If it weren't for having to sit there and listen to it when I worked over there, I'd still be almost completely ignorant of such music. And once in a veeeeery great while, I find I song I like.

Can't say the words perfectly work in their details, but the sentiment of the song, as well as the bright light I see in my mind when I hear it, fits them wonderfully.

'Lady' by Styx

Lady, when you're with me, I'm smiling
Give me all your love
Your hands build me up when I'm sinking
Touch me and my troubles all fade

Lady from the moment I saw you standing all alone
You gave all the love that I needed
So shy like a child who had grown
You're my

Lady of the morning
Love shines in your eyes
Sparkling, clear and lovely
You're my lady

Lady turn me on when I'm lonely
show me all your charms
Evenings when you lay down beside me
Take me gently into your arms
You're my

Lady of the morning
Love shines in your eyes
Sparkling, clear and lovely
You're my lady.

You can hear a .midi of the song here.
You can hear a little snippet of the music here. [August 2008 edit: Replaced defunct Amazon.com link]

Well, I thought I was done here, as those are the songs that spring to my mind the quickest. But there are two others for relatively minor characters.

Got reminded of the song for Tamaresh because it played on the radio when I was driving home from work Tuesday. (Had to drive because I had a dentist appointment; all that time wasted behind the wheel that could have been spent reading magazines and editing on the bus, grr grr grr.)

Well, Tamaresh himself is the somewhat odd Messenger of the Creator who shows up in my third book and onward, so Shanra and a bunch of others won't know him. Why I associate this song with Tamaresh is book five spoilerific, so I'll just name the song and give a link to clip and lyrics, and leave it at that.
'Blessed Be Your Name' by Matt Redman. (~~Note to self: MUST BUY THIS ONE!!~~ Christi gave it to me as a gift!)
You can hear a little snippet of the music at Amazon.com here. (track one) [August 2008 edit: Still there!]
And you can read the lyrics here. [August 2008 edit: Still there!]

Last, for real this time, is the song for Harai. I thought t'DoL's song was the most obscure, but this one rivals it. I'm amazed there's a clip on Amazon. From the album 'No Shadow of Turning' by Jeff Johnson, the song 'Gethsemane.' No lyrics. I love the desolate sorrow of it, the way it ends where it begins. Fits poor Harai from my books all too well...don't think Shanra knows him either.
You can hear a little snippet of the music at Amazon.com here. (track five) [August 2008 edit: Amazon sample no longer available =( ]

Update! In November 2006 I found me another song, and this one I owe to Shanra herself! The song is 'Our Farewell,' by 'Within Temptation.' For me, it has become Haliuk's song, or more accurately the song for Haliuk and the fledgling during the lore-master's last days. Listening to it helped me get through the last chapters of Hope's Passage.

You can hear a little snippet of the music at Amazon.com here. [August 2008 edit: Found new Amazon.com link]

'Our Farewell' by Within Temptation

In my hands
A legacy of memories
I can hear you say my name
I can almost see your smile
Feel the warmth of your embrace
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?

Sweet darling you worry too much, my child
See the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are

Never thought
This day would come so soon
We had no time to say goodbye
How can the world just carry on?
I feel so lost when you are not at my side
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?

Sweet darling you worry too much, my child
See the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are

So sorry your world is tumbling down
I will watch you through these nights
Rest your head and go to sleep
Because my child, this is not our farewell.
This is not our farewell.

Update again! In August of 2008 I bought a cd at the Minnesota State Fair: 'The Best of the Panflute' by Ecuador Manta. On about the second time through, my attention was snagged by track 9 'Lonely Shepherd.' When I listened to it for the 4th/5th time August 30th, I realized I had finally found Geren's song, which I've been lacking for so long. Makes for a nice 15th Anniverary discovery, since my first-ever picture of Geren was drawn 15 years earlier in 1993, right around this time of year!

The song 'The Lonely Shepherd' was originally performed by Georghe Zamfir for the 'Kill Bill' Soundtrack. Since my whole concept of Geren has always been wrapped up with where/what he ends up as/at the end of book 5, I can't say too much about the music here, save that it contains the huge, open sky and beautiful land of Geren's birthplace and his travels.

The song can be downloaded for free here, and if the page give you trouble like it did me, try this instead. I wish I could share the Ecuador Manta version I heard first, because it has this deliciously exotic low buzzy-sounding instrument that takes the melody in places, and it makes me wonder what Geren's voice sounds like when he sings (once in a blue moon!).

Thanks again for asking for this, Shanra! It's been great (if a little tearstained) fun listening through most of these while composing this LJ entry. I hope you enjoy the lyrics and clips I've scrounged up.

Last updated, September 1, 2008

A Relentless Pursuit

Another January, another FYI

FYI

20th Anniversary Post: Twenty Years of Blessings

Astounding April

MONSTER FINISH LINE!!1!

Comparative Statistics

Muffed March

Frenzied February

18 years!

Jolting January

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday, Vrnyden!

Giveaway!

Just an announcement so people don't miss out on the birthday giveaway I'm doing over at my main LJ.Check it out here!

The Chronicles of Delarun

If you've read everything else on my Portal Page, and would like to give the written portions of 'Delarun' a try, let me know!

17 years!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday, Vrnyden!

Stories 'Bubbles'

The END!

Comparative Statistics

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday, Vrnyden!

Novella!

Beginnings (and Middles)

1993: Characters and Transitions

*tosses apple blossoms*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VRNYDEN!

Stories Timeline

Notes:

My Stories on LiveJournal

General audience stories

Stories related to Hope's Passage

Stories related to the Geren books

The Chronicles of Delarun and related stories

Read everything above and STILL want more? Let me know if you're interested in reading The Chronicles of Delarun.

The Fourth Emissary and related stories

Read everything above and STILL want more? Let me know if you're interested in reading The Fourth Emissary.

About the ARG! (For those interested in reading my Geren books)

For shanra...

Just an announcement so people don't miss out on the birthday giveaway I'm doing over at my main LJ.

Check it out here!

tosses apple blossoms