Satisfying Retirement

Retiring Overseas

2013-06-19T02:00:00.001-07:00

I have written quite a few posts about various housing options we have to choose from for our satisfying retirement. A few weeks ago Another Retirement Option mentioned a new spiritually based community taking shape on the Big island of Hawaii. In Retirement Cohousing this relatively new choice was explored. How about spending your retirement living on a cruise ship or in an RV? See Unusual Retirement Options for more details. Of course, the debate between aging in place or moving to a planned retirement community is one we are all familiar with. I've written about those options many times, including What's Best: Aging In Place or A Retirement Community.

One option I have not really explored is the idea of becoming an expat...moving to another country full time. A few readers do live in Mexico and have commented before on the cost benefits and friendships they enjoy. Blogger Sonia Marsh spent in year in Belize and has expressed interest in retiring at least part time to Panama at some point. But, the subject of retirement overseas, or at least outside our borders, is worthy of a deeper look.

Because I have no experience or personal insight in this area, I thought it best to take a two-pronged approach. First, here is a list several web sites that seem to do an excellent job of looking at the pros and cons of retiring overseas. Not all are U.S. based but it seems their advice is universal enough to be worth the inclusion. Each has a slightly different approach, but are worth looking at if this subject interests you.

The last site listed ( expatexchange) is a tremendous place to go if you have a particular country, or even continent in mind. There are dozens of links to other sites that provide the specifics you may be looking for.

http://www.shelteroffshore.com/index.php/living/more/pros-cons-retiring-abroad-10461

http://www.escapefromamerica.com/2011/02/should-i-retire-overseas/

http://www.makingsenseofcents.com/2012/10/retiring-abroad.html

http://www.escapeartist.com/Overseas_Retirement/

http://blogs.the-american-interest.com/wrm/2013/05/18/retirement-roundup-all-roads-lead-abroad/

http://www.expatexchange.com/retire.cfm (tremendous # of links)

Secondly, I ask anyone who is living abroad, has thought about living abroad, or was an expat and has returned to the their home country, to share your expertise with all of us. Obviously, moving to another country is not a step to be taken lightly. Nor, should it be dismissed as completely unworkable. If the idea is at all interesting to you, do yourself a favor and spend some time at these web sites and come back to read the comments from readers.

Who knows, Satisfying Retirement may come from the South Pacific some day!

Is Retirement a Bed of Roses?

2013-06-16T02:00:00.000-07:00

A recent post by blogging friend, RJ Walters, caused me to pause (and that is a good thing). He was pointing out that the retirement blogs he reads, including Satisfying Retirement, seem to often paint an overly optimistic picture of life after work. He wonders if the descriptions are realistic. Don't retired people get bored, or lonely, or depressed, or unhappy? Is every day just another day on the good ship lollipop?

Nowadays by nature I am an optimist. I'll freely admit I didn't used to be that way. I could find the dark cloud in every silver lining. And, to reassure those who wonder if I am floating high above all of life's problems, the answer is certainly,"No." I do get bored on occasion. Sometimes I feel somewhat adrift in my life. Too many times, I struggle to be the type of husband I want to be to my bride of 37 years. I can be a real jerk. I have periods of self-doubt. My faith life was pretty much non-existent for way too many years and I still find myself turning to human solutions when I should be directing my thoughts elsewhere.

Certainly, there was a rough period of two or three years right after closing down my business in 2001. I have written several times about the second stage of retirement: that time when all the worries and second guessing seemed to occupy all my thoughts. I didn't know how to fill my time, except with television, endless hours of reading, and lots of naps. I was marking time.

Then, I found an interest in ham radio. I got my Federal license, joined a club, made new friends, and eventually became president of the organization for three years. I rediscovered the importance of faith in God in my life. I took a six month training program to become a lay spiritual counselor. I stopped most of my worrying about whether I had planned well enough financially. I began to see more silver linings and fewer dark clouds.

My interest in writing has been a part of my life ever since a creative writing class in high school (thank you, John Durkin). But, I had never found an appropriate outlet. The great American novel wasn't waiting to spring forth from my mind. Except for radio programming and rock music from the 1960's and 1970's, I wasn't enough of an expert in any particular field to write a textbook. So, I filled many journals and waited.

Three year ago (June 25th) I started blogging. I found my outlet and a subject I had enough experiences in to share my thoughts with others. At that time virtually all the retirement blogs available dealt just with the financial side of life after work. Except for a few notable exceptions, the blogging world lacked many voices that seemed to deal with the full range of interests and concerns of building a happy retirement. Even the phrase, satisfying retirement, turned up virtually nothing on a Google search. Try it today and see what you find!

There may be times when I appear to have all the answers. There are more times than not when my readers and those who leave comments seem to be living a stress-free, uncomplicated, "Leave it To Beaver" existence with nary a cloud on the horizon. I think a closer reading of what the comments say and what is written between the lines should show that isn't really the case.

But, no matter. The world has way too much negativity and people tearing things down instead of building them up for me to want to be part of that crowd. The world is a dangerous and scary place that really doesn't care if you succeed or fail. I see my "job" for now as describing a type of life that is available after retirement....not "the" type of life, but one example: mine.

How do I know? Because I have been walking this road for a dozen years. Will everyone find the contentment and satisfaction I have found so far? Of course not. Is my retirement without bumps and stumbles? Don't be silly. Heavens, my IRA lost 30% of its value between 2008-2010. Talk about scary. But, I'd be less than honest and certainly no help to readers if I didn't emphasize the good stuff I have uncovered.

No one needs to be reminded of how tough life can be. Read the paper, watch TV news, or simply observe the world around us for a nonstop stream of the problems we face. Do we really need another voice claiming doom and ruin are bearing down on us?

If so, you won't find it here. I have admitted my past failures and will continue to do so when appropriate. I will continue to describe how my satisfying retirement is unfolding, in both positive and negative ways. I will strive to not duck the tough issues. But, I won't dwell on them. That's not who Bob Lowry is in June of 2013.

Arizona's White Mountains Makes The Perfect Getaway

2013-06-14T02:00:00.001-07:00

Betty and I, along with our trusty canine companion, Bailey, just returned from a very enjoyable eight day RV trip to the rim country of Arizona. With temperatures topping 108 degrees in Phoenix, we decided this was the perfect time to head to 6,000 feet and cooler temperatures. About 150 miles from our home, the White Mountains are a summer heat escape for many Valley of the Sun residents. During the winter, deep snow and a beautiful ski resort entice those who prefer their sports on the chilly side.

We wanted high temperatures under 100 and mornings cool enough for a light sweater; we found both. Our first stop was Woods Canyon Lake about 30 miles east of Payson. We have fond memories of bringing our young daughters here for canoe rides and picnics.

Betty's dad took his granddaughters fishing on the lake for their first experience with worms some 25 years ago.

This time we made a brief stop for a picnic lunch, pictures for Betty, and to allow Bailey to gather new smells. Because it was mid week we thought the parking lot would be rather empty but that wasn't the case. Several other RVs were in evidence, as well as at least a dozen fisherman with their electric trolling boats.

Then, it was on to Heber and our RV home for the next four nights. Heber RV Resort is clean, quiet, and very well maintained. We had a problem with our 30 amp electrical plug that the on site maintenance man fixed in just a few minutes. Most of the sites are filled with those who spend the summer here, but we got one of the dozen short stay sites. With a 30 foot pine tree, a picnic table, and being just across from both the office and the shower facilities, the location was perfect. Bailey loved all the new smells while we liked the peace and quiet.

Then, we went back to Fools Hollow State Park near Show Low. After a short visit last fall we knew we'd want to come back to spend several days. The RV sites are spacious and well shaded. Many have full hookups; for those that don't a dump station is at the front entrance.

I have posted several pictures before of this park, but here are a few new ones to enjoy.

Though rather short, this trip was important in one very important regard; Betty had the time to really look at the inside of the RV and figure out all sorts of ways to improve our living space. She came up with a long list of improvements that will dramatically increase our storage and simplify our life while traveling. She even figured out how to build a small "office" into some wasted space near the cab. It will provide work space for our computer and storage for supplies, but can be folded up and stored away in just a few minutes.

Now we shift our focus to our August trip to Portland. This one will be made by plane. Less than 3 hours in the air versus a 5 day drive each way - an easy choice!

Retirement and cold feet

2013-06-12T02:00:00.001-07:00

Most of us experience cold feet, or a lack of confidence, when faced with a major change in our life that disrupts what we know and are accustomed to. That is a natural reaction. I would guess it is somehow connected to the 'flight or fight' reaction.

Retirement would certainly qualify as an event that could cause cold feet. There aren't many experiences quite the equal of stopping something you have done for dozens of years, has probably defined you in some way, and has paid the bills. To not have your job description as the answer to, "what do you do," can be scary. I may preach about the tremendous joy of a satisfying retirement, but I can attest to my own case of almost frozen feet when it came time to close down my business in 2001.

Recently, I was reminded of this common occurrence by a regular reader. An e-mail detailed the struggles her husband was having in letting go. The family business was up for sale, and the decision to move on had been discussed for over year. This couple had downsized their housing and belongings. They had started making plans for their time together. But, when it came time to actually walk away...those cold feet poked through his socks.

After my assuring her that hubby's reaction was very normal and would eventually work itself out in a way that was best for both of them, I agreed the general topic of last minute retirement cold feet was worth a post. Like always, I am depending on some insightful comments and suggestions from you.

I will assume that this couple's financial house is in order. To retire without a good plan and a solid financial footing isn't wise. That would cause anyone to have second thoughts. Retiring when someone is tired of going to work every day, or had a fight with the boss, or any other reason...without months, if not years, of thinking through all the aspects of a life without full time work, is a mistake and will probably not work out well.

If, on the other hand, money has been saved and invested, expenses have been pared, and projections of future needs have been made, then retirement becomes doable. The decision as to when to retire then can be approached without unnecessary financial fears. True, life is going to through some problems your way. Your retirement plans are not going to unfold exactly the way you may hope they will. Financial concerns will be with you, at some level, under you die. But, guess what, being employed doesn't change that. We have no guarantees, working or not.

I will assume the couple has a firm foundation to their marriage relationships, one that won't be harmed by having both spouses together more of the time. Even for a loving, long term relationship, retirement takes compromise and adjustments. The cliché of being "joined at the hip," implying a couple that is with each other 24/7, is usually not a good idea. There is a need for private "me" time for each partner.

I will assume the couple isn't planning on leaving family and friends behind to move to a "dream" location near the ocean or halfway up a mountain. Living on a canal boat in France sounds nice, but how realistic is it to most of us? Moving soon after retirement doesn't always turns out well. No longer working is a major stress-producer. Add a move to that and you are off the charts in terms of pressures on you.

So, that brings me back to the central question: how does one deal with cold feet after making a decision, whether it is our own hesitation or that of a loved one? I can make a few suggestions, but then want to turn the forum over to you.

Retirement is a step, but not one that is irreversible. Plenty of folks stop working and then decide at some point that they miss some part of the working work. It may be the extra money, but it also could be time with coworkers. A sense of being part of something bigger than one's self motivates some to return to work.

The point is, if you find you simply can't settle into retirement at this point in your life, then get another job, either full or part time. Of course, once you leave your field of endeavor it may be a bit of a struggle to pick up where you left off. But, retirement today isn't necessarily a permanent state. You always have options.

Secondly, start focusing on what you will gain from retirement and less on what you may be leaving behind. Think about the hobbies, activities, travel, extra time with family, reading that stack of books on your nightstand, or sleeping until you want to wake up....all the good stuff waiting for you. A satisfying retirement is all about gaining the freedom to do what you want, when you want.

OK, cold feet experts, help this couple and everyone else who can identify with this situation. How did you break through that final mental barrier that kept you from taking the plunge? What was it that finally allowed you to look forward rather than backward?

A Place For Mom (and Dad)

2013-06-10T02:00:00.000-07:00

After a post on spiritually based retirement communities a few weeks ago I ran across yet another option for deciding where to spend a satisfying retirement: a referral site that features reviews by actual users. It gives a full option of housing choices to search for by location.

Obviously, this is a business and I can't vouch for anything they do in that regard. Nor am I being compensated for this mention. But, I like to bring to light services and options that may be helpful to you.

By the way, what happened to dad? Why isn't it A Place For Mom And Dad?

A PLACE FOR MOM^® LAUNCHES SENIORADVISOR.COM

New Service Provides Listings for Over 100,000 Senior Living Communities; Reviews for 17,000 Currently Available and Growing

SEATTLE, Wash., March 25, 2013 – A Place for Mom^®, the nation’s largest senior living referral service, has announced the launch of SeniorAdvisor.com, a first-of-its-kind consumer reviews web site designed for seniors and their families. The site allows visitors to submit and review consumer feedback for over 100,000 senior living communities and care services throughout the country. Currently, there are more than 17,000 posted reviews. The launch comes as A Place for Mom continues to look for new ways to empower consumers with information necessary for finding the right senior living communities for their aging loved ones.

“Choosing a senior living community is an extremely important and emotional decision, and people want to feel confident they have made informed choices. In support of this, we are consistently asked if we have consumer reviews and ratings of senior living communities,” said Sean Kell, CEO, A Place for Mom. “Based on this demand, we’ve created SeniorAdvisor.com, designed to become the nation’s largest and most comprehensive source for senior living and eldercare reviews, ratings and unbiased information.”

To encourage valid feedback for other consumers and providers, reviews on SeniorAdvisor.com will be obtained and verified from a variety of sources: the 200,000 families A Place for Mom helps annually find senior care options and the company’s nationwide network of partners that includes more than 18,000 providers of senior living care and services. Additionally, when any senior living community or service listed on the site claims ownership of their profile, they can invite consumers to review their business.

SeniorAdvisor.com offers helpful tools and quick access to reviews and ratings for communities nationwide, bringing functionality and convenience to a process that tends to be complex and overwhelming. Features include:

Comprehensive listings including a complete directory of senior housing options in all
50 states. For example, a visitor to the site can research memory care options in Seattle, for example. along with six additional types, including assisted living, retirement communities, residential care homes, senior apartments, adult day care and skilled nursing.
A five-star rating scale system covering five categories:care, cleanliness, activities, value and friendliness. Consumers can view individual scores for each category as well as an overall score.
Ability to post personal comments explaining a rating or general insights about a community or service.
Search tools that allow users to seek listings within designated geographic locations and for specific desired amenities.
Customized, personal accounts to bookmark favorite communities, write reviews, store comments and ratings, and share information on communities with friends and family.
Ability to request a tour of a community, organize scheduled tours and send text message reminders for favorite communities.

“Today’s savvy consumers are proactively seeking the opinions and experiences of others. Many shoppers read reviews of movies, restaurants, hotels and other products before they buy, so it’s not surprising that they expect this kind of information to be available for senior living services,” said Eric Seifert, President, SeniorAdvisor.com. “In line with other service industry reviews, we’re seeing about 82 percent of our ratings on SeniorAdvisor.com land at three stars or better. It will be exciting to watch how this progresses as the number of visitors to the site increases.”

About A Place for MomA Place for Mom, Inc. (APFM) is the nation's largest senior living referral resources and personalized assistance in finding senior living services. Using its nationwide network of more than 18,000 providers, APFM helps families find options based on a loved one’s stated needs, preferences and budget. This may include independent senior housing, home care, residential care homes,assisted living communities and specialized Alzheimer’s memory care. The service is offered at no charge to families as providers pay a fee to APFM. For more information, visitwww.aplaceformom.com, call 1-877-311-6099. For more information on SeniorAdvisor.com, visit the web site or call 1-866-333-2721.

Because the service is new, the few communities I checked had only a handful of reviews. But, this does appear to be a service that will be helpful when enough folks write their opinions. Satisfying Retirement has no connection with nor does it endorse any aspect of this service. This post is provided for purely informational purpose.

On The Road Again (Briefly)!

2013-06-07T02:00:00.001-07:00

It is hard to believe but we have been home almost 6 weeks since our April trip to Texas and New Mexico. The RV has been cleaned and checked and sitting patiently on the side yard for the next time we hit the road. Well, that time is here. Thursday morning Betty and I headed to the White Mountains of Arizona for an eight day break from the extreme heat.

A four night stay near Heber, followed by four nights at the beautiful Fools Hollow State Park in Show Low is a quick jaunt compared to the April adventure. But, to have an RV and not take every chance to use it seems silly.

The temperatures at home are now well above 100 and will be for 4 months. Last weekend we sizzled at 108 degrees and this weekend may be even hotter. The thought of 84 degree days and 56 degree nights just 3-4 hours away is tugging us northward.

For this trip we had originally planned on leaving Bailey at home. A break from 6:00 AM potty needs and barking at other dogs or birds would be welcome. Betty and I could sleep later and not be crowded by a dog that insists on sleeping so her head touches one of us and her legs the other. But, the closer we got to leaving the more we felt we'd miss her cute cocker spaniel face too much. So, at the last moment, we brought her along.

What will we do? Betty wants to work on a church project that takes months to plan. I will probably write a post or two and work on my next book: a travel book for Arizona.

Japanese Gardens in Portland

Then, our attention will turn to our month in Portland in August. Since we will be driving up in our car, we'll have to plan our route, pick some towns to spend the night, and see a few sights along the way.

We have given ourselves five days to get there so we don't have to push it. I think we'll make the drive north a combination of Interstates and more scenic choices.

Posting your comments may be a bit slower than usual, but know that Betty, Bailey, and I are enjoying our satisfying retirement to its fullest.

What Time Do You Start Your Day?

2013-06-05T02:00:00.000-07:00

One of the questions I get asked on a fairly regular basis is what a typical day of my satisfying retirement looks like. The answer I usually give is there are no typical days. Except for beginning each morning with breakfast and answering blog comments and e-mails, there is no set routine. I have made a determined effort over the last few years to not have my calendar look like it did when I was working.

True, I have a to-do list of things I must or want to accomplish each day:things like reminding me to empty the trash and roll out the cans, refill a prescription, finish a post, water the pots...the basic stuff of a day. But, my calendar doesn't say when when I must do these things. That happens when it happens.

I have tried a more structured approach: guitar playing from 10-10:30, take out trash at 1:00 and so forth. But, I'd never follow the times listed. Eventually, I realized there was no reason for the tasks to be completed at a certain time of the day so I just dropped that silliness completely.

There is one area, though, that I can't quite get a comfortable feel for: when to get up in the morning. I guess it is part of my personality but I have always believed that the "early bird gets the worm." Over the years, both before and after retirement, I have tried getting up at various times. My body quickly tells me it isn't happy with some of my choices. For a while the alarm went off at 5:00 am. By mid morning I was ready for a nap, which kind of defeated the purpose. I've experimented with 5:30 with similar results.

I had always heard that older folks (I qualify by now) need less sleep. I have a friend who wake up at 2:00 in the morning and spend a few hours on the computer or reading. Another fellow can't sleep past 4:30. I, on the other hand, am finding I am sleeping later. Being awakened by the alarm just after 6 O'clock seems like the middle of the night. Recently, Betty and I have been getting up sometime between 7 and 7:30 if there is no morning appointment.

Am I turning into a sludge? Am I missing a few valuable hours each day because I am lazy? Should I follow the old bromide that I can sleep when I'm dead?

Steve Pavlina is a superb blogger, writer, and self development teacher. Among his thousands of interesting articles are several on becoming an early riser. Clearly he is of the "get up before the sun" contingent. He makes it clear he links success in life with being an early riser.

Two posts of his that I have re-read several times are How to Become an Early Riser Part 1 and How to Become an Early Riser Part 2. He provides specific steps that anyone can take to gain control over the time one's day begins. I read these, feel guilty, and try again to get up early. Each time I cannot pull it off. As he suggests, I go to bed when I am tired but can't master the getting up early part.

So, my question to you is simple: when do you wake up on a normal morning? Are you the the type that hits the ground running even before the birds are awake, or do you enjoy a slow start that puts a premium on lingering in bed as long as you dare? Have you found a way to adjust your schedule that works for you?

Even if every single comment is from someone who has checked the Internet, jogged 5 miles, and read three chapters of War and Peace before the sun comes up, I am not likely to try the early bird route again. But, as the responses in my new book, Living a Satisfying Retirement, make clear all of us have a unique way to make the most of our days. I love to read how others use their time and make the most of their retirement journey.

So, tell us!

No Excuses

2013-06-03T02:00:00.001-07:00

At some point, all of us have some struggles in our lives. Some are major and require serious adjustments. Others are more in the category of irritants or minor bumps in our journey toward a satisfying retirement. At the time we may be upset, but in retrospect we realize we have it pretty good compared to others.

This post is about a young man who is years from retirement. In fact he is in his early 20's. He is the son of a couple in our small group at church. His mom and dad keep us up to date on his life and how he is faring. Oh, I should mention he is autistic, though, you will see shortly that is not who he is nor does it limit him. Rather, I get the very real sense that he would think of autism as just one of the "bumps" in the road that he has learned to navigate.

Matt is a cook, and a very good one. I know because he often prepares desserts for our small group meetings. He lives with mom and dad and creates his magic in their kitchen. Last year he was given an opportunity by a local organization, SeedSpot.org, that provides funds for early stage social entrepreneurs, to develop his own business.

Stuttering King Bakery is the result. Matt, with help from mom and dad, now supplies baked goods to several Phoenix area offices and coffee shops. For example, one place Matt delivers his seriously good pastries is the Beneficial Beans Cafe in the Scottsdale Civic Center Library. That cafe is run by the Southwest Autism Research and Resource Center. His goal is to open a bakery in downtown Phoenix or Scottsdale to expand his operation, while hiring other autistic folks to help him with the work load.

Stuttering King Bakery? The name choice reveals a lot about this amazing young man. Matt says the name is in honor of England's King George VI, a man who overcame a serious disability to lead his country. The recent movie, The King's Speech, told his story. Matt faced his own major challenges in finding ways to accomplish his dream through an educational system that has problems properly serving autistic students.

Matt took private lessons for three years from a local pastry chef before serving at St. Mary's Food Bank kitchen to hone his skills. In his office space at Seedspot he and mom work on budgets, marketing, and all the issues involved in establishing a viable business.

Recently, The Downtown Devil, a newspaper for those attending the downtown campus of Arizona State University, wrote a glowing report on Matt and his determination to succeed. In that profile the co-founder of Seedspot, Courtney Klein Johnson, said "How can you not fall in love with his story, the dream and his dream for other autistic people? [Matt's] unique home-baked and delivered business model, attention to detail and dream to employ other autistic people make him a perfect member of the Seed Spot mantra."

The Phoenix Business Journal had a report on Matt's story, too. Seedspot sponsored a demonstration day at Phoenix Symphony Hall. Four young businesses pitched their concepts and products. Matt's baked goods stole the show and earned him a picture on the front page of the report.

So, besides knowing him personally, what is the connection between a 23 year old autistic man and this blog? It is the universal message that, regardless of age and circumstances, we always have a choice: to give in to our troubles and problems, or fight them and find out how to make them work for us.

I recently re-read Stephen Covey's mega-bestseller, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Several of his points fit Matt's story perfectly. Mr. Covey reminds us of Eleanor Roosevelt's words, "No one can hurt you without your consent."

He also makes these point:

* Blaming everyone and everything for our problems chains us to those problems.

*The power to make and keep commitments to ourselves is the essence of developing the habit of effectiveness.

*It is not what happens to us, but our responses to what happens to us that hurts [or helps] us.

*Our behavior is a function of our decisions.

*If my life is not of my own design, but the result of my deferring to circumstances and other people, then I can change it.

Matt is autistic. He is also a creative, generous, giving young man with the gift of baking masterpieces and the will to succeed.

I doubt he spends much time thinking about the autistic part anymore. He is too busy building a dream. Do any of us need any more motivation than that?

Living A Satisfying Retirement: Do You Ever Get Bored?

2013-05-31T02:00:00.001-07:00

One of the primary concerns of both current and future retirees is how one fills his or her day. There is a real worry about being bored. After several decades of having one's day (and nights) dominated by work commitments, the thought of unplanned days stretching as far as one can see into the future is a little unsettling.

One of the questions included in my new book, Living a Satisfying Retirement, is " How do you fill your days? Are you ever bored or does your time fill up?" I was quite intrigued with the tremendous variety of answers. Here is a sampling of some of the responses from the book:

Gail P. The joke in my family is that my headstone will say, “She was never bored!” Whether I’m busy or relaxing, I’m never bored.

Paula M. I sometimes wonder how I fill my days!!! I look back to when I was a young wife and mom and remember all that I did in a day, and marvel that I could get it all done. And then I look at what I do now, and think that I am a “SLUG”. I also think I got a lot more done when I worked full time – somehow, you just fit it all in.

Without time restraints, it is easy to sit at the computer and before you know it, hours have gone by – or I go to the gym and 2 hours later, I am leaving – not having exercised for 2 hours, but having talked to a couple people, taken a shower, read the front page of the paper, etc. Before, I would have gone and exercised and been done and gone in 30-45 minutes because I would have needed to get to the store and buy groceries to go home and fix dinner. I guess there are times that I am bored, but not often – seems that there is always something to do and not enough time to do it.

Banjo Steve    My time seems to always fill up. Even when I don't know what to do at the moment, it becomes a time of contemplation for me rather than any kind of boredom. I don't mind, at odd times, constructively doing nothing in particular. Conversely, I try to avoid overbooking myself, having no desire to return to a new manifestation of the rat race.

Bill D. Regular routine includes physical exercise / activities with spouse, friends & family / reading & research re self development / volunteerism / financial (investments & home budget) management /periodic travel.

Doug N. Our saying is "Retirement means you have to be responsible for your own entertainment." My analogy is that I have a copy of Ernie Zelinski's Get-A-Life Tree on my desk. It's been there for nearly a decade, but I haven't made the time to work on it. Too many other things to do.

I start almost every morning with 10 minutes of stretching while I'm brewing my tea. Next I check the surf forecast so that if conditions are unusually good then I can enjoy an extra dawn patrol. Finally I spend at least 30 minutes every morning working on the blog or the next edition of "The Military Guide".

After that the day writes the schedule: my spouse and I try to work out together every Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday morning (calisthenics, weights, aerobics). I try to train taekwondo every Monday & Wednesday evening. That leaves Thursdays and Saturdays for surfing, but I can also double up on Mon &; Wed if the waves are big.

I take a nap almost every day. I meet with an investment club almost every week. My spouse taught me "20 minutes a day". That means we try to do yard work or a home-improvement project together every day for 20 minutes. The reality is that once we've started, we get into it and frequently go for an hour or longer.

Roger W. I am like a little kid in that I get bored easily. For the most part I do what strikes my mood for that day. I am a prolific blogger so that takes quite a bit of time. I have two plus acres of land to keep up. I have an eighty year old home that needs constant attention. I enjoy reading and am now in the middle of a blog study of church history and how we got to where we are today. This and many unplanned things make up most of my days. But then there are some days where I choose to do absolutely nothing.

Michael V. In terms of other interests, my wife has always done a better job than myself. She has played organized tennis for years and has dedicated time to an assortment of local charities. For me, I seem to fill my time dealing with the maintenance of a house that is too big for us, bill paying, finances, taxes, etc., etc. I also enjoy baking, cooking on the grill, bike riding and daily walks.

We have recently purchased 2 new bicycles and have started riding together. We will soon be taking this hobby on a road trip, right after we get our daughter settled into law school.

Pat W. I do not remember being bored anytime in the last 20 years. My time fills up rapidly & I have to remember (repeatedly!) that I cannot do everything I want to do, even in retirement.

Don S. There are not enough hours in the day. I am NOT bored. Bear in mind I also stop "working" around dinner so you can call those hours wasted or not. For me I try to achieve some kind of balance between "work" and relaxation. What "relaxation" means is different to everyone but to me it means doing something brainless: maybe reading, TV, Internet, just not work.

Jane P. I’ve had three boring days in two years. We have an exercise or swimming class every weekday morning. We have a garden. I try to meet one of several friends for coffee or lunch each week. I’m a mediator in training and I try to have one mediation event set up each week. I have a blog and a blogging community. I play games on Facebook.

Bertha T. When did we work? The days fly by and are productive. When I feel bored I do panic just a little. That is when I read a book or do a crossword puzzle. There are periods when a change of work is play. We live in a city that has a lot of opportunities for exploring and in the winters we travel to Arizona for a change of scenery. The fact that we have found a way to make changes as a part of our routine life keeps each day interesting. So the answer is "yes" sometimes I get bored but there are solutions for the short term feeling.

Dick J. During the early part of my second year of retirement I did frequently become bored, and depressed at times. Not from serious problems but from thinking too much about how my pre-retirement vision of retirement wasn't matching the reality.

Right now I'm doing some of the training but it will be finished within the month. I most likely will not seek to do more of that anytime soon. I fill my time planning for the next trip, traveling and spending time every now and then in New England, spending 3 or 4 days every few weeks with my 80-something parents who live about 4 hours away, cooking (always has been an activity I enjoy) and doing some light landscaping in our small yard.

My wife and I enjoy reading and watching British mysteries on Netflix. As the months have gone by, I am more and more relaxed and satisfied with life without work.

John H. With my current routine, my day is usually close to full. Sometimes I get a little bored, but when that happens I call one of my kids, mother or sibling to chat.

Paula S. My days are full and varied which makes it difficult to tell anyone what I have been doing. Thankfully projects don't lie around waiting to get done as long, however there are many still on the list to be completed. I'm never bored.

Katie S. Communicating with friends, old and new, via Internet and Skype. Learning new things - anything that happens to grab my fancy. Learning new languages and planning my next travel. Art, art, art! I love to cook! Yoga, walking around my village and visiting with people I run into, writing, reading. spending time with my guy, gardening and hanging out with friends.

Mark R. I start the day off with what I like to refer to as “spiritual exercises” (including reading, prayer, reflection and meditation). This is usually followed by “coffee time” with my wife. I then usually end up spending an hour or so at the gym. During the late morning to mid- afternoon, I am often involved in various classes/courses offered at OLLI (some with and some without my wife).

My day is often quite filled and I have still not done many things that I wanted to when I first retired (e.g. do more ball room dancing with my wife, getting involved in a ministries that seek to make a difference in the world around me or to find more social connections with other people as I know that I can be a bit of a loner at times).

Carla H. I am always working on something, so rarely bored.

Janet L. When I worked, I regularly wished for a couple of additional hours every day as I always ran short of time. I continue to have that dilemma. The days fly past and often I find myself having to set time limits for tasks. I try to curtail myself from making too many commitments so that I don’t have to dread looking at my schedule for the week.

I feel like a kid in a candy store with so many choices about how I’ll spend my time. Although much is written about boredom as a retirement risk, I have never suffered boredom.

Doreen P. My time fills up. Two days a week I volunteer at the garden. I work with flowers now. I live in NYC so if I feel bored I go to a different museum, library or exhibit. If you live alone you have to leave your house and go out and meet people.

I read, go to museums, concerts, parks, events at the library, out with friends-it is just that everything is at a slower pace-no more rushing. I also like to exercise.

Shirley L. My days are filled with writing, biking or hiking, lunches with friends, gardening, reading, traveling, and probably a little too much news-following. I'm working on that one. And of course some cooking and cleaning--you still can't get away from that!

Bob B. During the summer, we’re active in a number of outdoor activities – hiking, bike riding, kayaking, camping, fly fishing, and target shooting. During the winter, we snowshoe or cross-country ski – when snow conditions permit.

Billie S. I’m never bored but I am sometimes “lazy”, ignoring chores for the moment and reading a lot. That’s happened less and less over the course of this first year. I miss being part of something I consider important to society, i.e., making a contribution. I am ready to find a way to do that which will fit with my time in the next year.

Sarah V. I play competitive league tennis which fills my schedule for at least three days per week for nine months out of the year. I spend time volunteering for local charities and organizing fundraising events. I am active in our community book club and Zumba class and I love to travel, cook, entertain and take photographs.

Tammy P. My normal daily routine (not that too many days are normal, actually) consists of waking up around 6:00 AM, enjoying coffee and conversation with my husband before moving on to our morning workouts. This is followed by breakfast and time on the computer doing my various electronic chores of email, itinerary planning and blog reading and writing.

We generally have anywhere from one to three activities planned on any given day, plus our normal chores to get done. Plus, we each have a lot of follow ups we need to do each day as a result of the activities we are involved in. For myself, this means I need to practice piano, the recorder and my Spanish each day, as well as stay on top of the subscribed reading from the four book clubs I belong to.

Other things we do regularly are listening to educational DVD’s on topics ranging from Greek history to the science of wine making, take weekly long distance bike rides, attend yoga classes, attend a lifelong learning program at our nearby university, gardening, and in my case, needlepoint, baking and cooking. We also utilize a variety of online discount sites to enjoy a multitude of entertainment and dining options, often last minute but at a fraction of the price we used to pay prior to retirement.

Regarding boredom: As long as we understand TV is not an option to alleviate boredom, we are never bored. In our experience, using TV to alleviate boredom actually creates an enhanced state of boredom.
________________________________

This is a sampling of the answers to just this one question. Nearly two dozen more questions provide the same thoughtful and helpful guidance for you, whether you are already retired or still moving in that direction. Living a Satisfying Retirement provides real life insight from those already living and planning their own retirement journey.

I hope you'll consider buying a copy for you, a family member, or friend. It could be the best $2.99 you have invested into living a satisfying retirement.

Click Here to purchase Living a Satisfying Retirement

Backyard Magic

2013-05-29T00:30:00.000-07:00

In early April I wrote about a decision to change how Betty and I decorated our backyard in the post, A major change after 3 decades. For all that time, in the three different houses we have occupied in the Phoenix area, our approach to maintaining plants and flowers had been the same: year-round. Of course, in the summer that meant daily watering to keep the flowering plants alive in 105-110 degree heat. While a portion of the yard we have owned for the past 11 years has been converted to low water, low maintenance bushes on a drip system, that was impractical for the dozens of pots that graced the porch, Ramada, and yard. Even though we rarely ventured into the backyard during the summer months, those blasted pots still ate up time, money, and water.

When we bought an RV last fall and determined we'd like to be away from the desert for a good chunk of the summer months, the silliness of the flowering pots became even more obvious. I gave Betty a challenge: can we make the yard interesting to look at while we are home but still be gone for several weeks at a time and have what is out there alive when we return? Nor surprisingly her answer was, "Yes."

So, we took on the task of converting the back space into one that allowed Betty to express her sense of whimsy and creativity while I found cacti and succulents that could go for 3 weeks or so at a time without being watered.

The results are pictured below. When she first said she'd like to hang a bicycle from the Ramada, suspend two chairs we bought in Texas from the back wall, and generally use spray paint and colorful pots to make up for the missing flowers I swallowed and gave my blessing. Past experience has proven that when Betty has a vision of something I'll usually not like it much initially but then fall in love with it over time. No surprise, it has happened again.

I will admit that the yard would not be everyone's cup of tea. When it is time to sell the house at some point down the road I'm pretty sure the yard will have to be made to look a bit more "normal." But, based on what kind of budget we had and what our goals were, I think we've nailed it.

Will the cacti survive for several weeks without water? I guess we will find out. The smaller ones can probably be moved into the house or given to a friend to water in our absence. Those in the larger pots should be fine. But, they certainly have a much better chance at living than the flowers, which burn up after 3 days!

I promised to share some pictures of what Betty came up with. Here you go!

Old barn hinges

Yes that is a bottle tree - with real bottles

Yes, those are chairs.

The Computer & Finances: Making Them Work Together

2013-05-27T02:00:00.000-07:00

It is unusual to find a business that interacts with the general public that doesn't offer a way to satisfy bills on line. Some banks and airlines charge you to deal with a human being instead of handling your business, by yourself, online. With costs so low, they have determined that the potential risk of upsetting someone or losing a customer who does not have Internet access is worth it in the long haul.

At the same time we read almost every day of some company's computer being hacked with millions of customer files compromised. A cyber-terrorist in China or Chicago figures out a way to steal identities and create havoc for untold numbers of folks.

So, what are we to do? Being a part of society today just about requires computer access and use. And, nowhere is that more true than in the area of bill paying, and recently, budgeting. You suggest the U.S. Postal Service? Mail is stolen every day creating the same problems. With the budget pressures on the Post Office, it is already taking longer for a first class letter to make it coast to coast. While the proposed elimination of Saturday mail delivery has been taken off the table for the time being, vulnerability to theft and delays are only likely to increase.

I received the following guest post submission from Angie Picardo. She provides a good, basic overview of the subject.

With advancements in technology, you are no longer required to go into a business in person or submit payment through the mail now that paying balls and managing your finances can be done completely through the Internet. The convenience factor should be more than tempting for someone tired of having to rely on brick and mortar stores to help manage their finances. For most bills, you can make payments on the due date without even having to leave the house or write a check, or pay the postage.

Paying Bills

For just about every bank you can track every detail of your bank account. Since most banks no longer return cancelled checks, if you still write a few of those you'll need the Internet to make sure they were cashed in a timely manner. You can check on your balance at any time and pay bills online and on time so you never have to worry about a late charge. In fact, most banks will pay any late fee and work to get any negative notice on your credit report removed if they don't process a payment properly.

Banks will allow you to set up an automated payment option where you can enter the amount of your bill (no matter what type of bill) and where it’s going. The bank or credit union will withdraw the funds from your account on the due date each month, or the date that you have set yourself.

It’s easier to keep track if you let your bank know how much each bill will be. There are tools for your online bank account that will allow you to set aside a certain amount for bills, reserve and spending. This new dynamic in online banking has made management of your bank accounts easier than ever.

You also don’t even have to go through your actual online bank account to pay bills, either. You can just go to the website of the company that you are making a payment to and enter your debit/checking or credit card number to pay off a balance. Many worry that their information may not be secure over the Internet, but cable, energy and other utility companies provide secure Internet connections that make it very difficult for your information to go missing or acquired by third parties. Of course, sometimes it happens, but most of us will never be affected.

Managing Your Budget

How about help with budgeting? The Internet has a resource and/or a tool for that. Websites like Mint.com allow you to control every aspect of your financial life. Mint has proven itself to be secure so you will not have to worry about your information being stolen or borrowed.

You just enter some information about yourself and it will automatically pull the information from your savings and checking accounts, automobile and mortgage loans, as well as any investments you may have attached to the account. This type of tool is helpful for seeing all of your money in one single place, how it is spent, and how you might want to budget going forward.

Web sites like this will create a display showing where your income is coming from, and exactly where your expenditures are. It can tell you how much you are spending on gas, restaurants, and groceries—basically anything. It can also offer you advice on what investments might be right for you and what the next steps should be if you are trying to save money or pay off a student loan, for example. Many of these programs, like Mint, are free.

Getting Started

Contact your bank or Credit Union and ask about these services or do a quick online search. Just be sure any fiancial sites like this have a small padlock next to their URL address. This means that those sites are secure and legitimate.

After setting up your budget for each account (savings, spending and bills) you can see where all of your money is going to go in any given month. If you don’t have all of your accounts (including investments, mortgages, etc.) in the same place, you will want to find a tool that allows you to see your information spread out before you. Besides the services offered by Mint, there are several other tools that can help. BudgetPulse and Expensr are another two that will be able to do mostly all of the same things and are offered for free.

Now that you’ve seen what it takes to get started, it’s time to take hold of your finances as tools like this make it easier than ever to control how much money comes in and out. Technology has made our lives simpler, and it is making money management that much more efficient. You no longer have to keep a paper records or files of income and expenditures. Digital tools can easily be embraced to help you budget and manage all of your ongoing finances!

Angie Picardo is a writer for the personal finance website, NerdWallet, providing you the tools for understanding personal finance.

As a follow up, I have used on line banking & bill paying for several years with absolutely no problems. Now that we are spending more time away from home in our RV, it is essential that we can handle bill paying and financial management while on the road. I save quite a bit on postage and supplies each year, too!

For full disclosure Satisfying Retirement has received no compensation for any of the links provided in this post.

Digging Deeper: Those Six Words

2013-05-24T02:00:00.000-07:00

A recent post of mine apparently struck quite a chord with good friend and blogging buddy, Galen Pearl. A Retired Life: A Summary in Six Words was my attempt to attach three words to my life before my satisfying retirement journey began, and three words that describe where I feel I am now, some 12 years later. Besides writing her own blog post as a follow up, she contacted me to ask if I could expand one the original idea.

Galen wants to know my answers to some important questions that this post raised for her, and hopefully for you. Frankly, I wouldn't have thought of digging deeper until she asked. But, she is raising some important concerns that could benefit from clarification. In essence her questions centered on the timing and my awareness of the movement from the three words before retirement (angry, ambitious, unfulfilled) to the three words after retirement (calm, content, fulfilled).

For her, for you, and for me, let me attempt some explanations:

Q. Did retirement trigger this change? For me, the answer is definitely, yes. If I had continued running my business little would have changed. The first three words would have remained firmly in place. If I could project that into the future, I believe my marriage, relationship with my daughters, and my overall health would have been comprised. I guess I could add a few more words if I had continued down that path: divorced or separated, depressed and lonely, and physically sick.

Is retirement necessary for this transformation? In my case, yes, but that isn't likely to be true for everyone. Better self-awareness, a shift in how life is viewed, a good friend making a comment, an increase in your spirituality or faith - almost anything may be the spark. Working or not working isn't the key.

Q: How did retirement turn things around? There are a few obvious reasons why the closing of my business halted this downward spiral. All the pressures of running a business stopped. The fear of clients being unhappy and not renewing my contract was no longer my first and last thought every day. I was no longer spending 100,000 miles in airplanes and 150 nights in hotels year after year after year. My weekends were no longer a desperate time to catch up on work and home and family before leaving again Monday morning.

I began to step away from the horrible feeling of time pressures and performance anxiety. Like others I have talked with, for much of my career I always felt I was in way over my head. At some point people would figure out I had no idea what I was talking about. They would see the emperor had no clothes. I would be exposed as an overpaid fraud. With retirement I no longer had to worry about whether I belonged or not. I left the playing field behind.

Q: Did I actively pursue these changes? No. For such a fundamental shift in my world view and the old paradigms (my old way of thinking), time had to pass. It probably took me a few years just to realize how seriously damaging and wasteful my previous approach to living had been. I had bought into the American dream of hard work and total focus = success. That meant vacations on Maui, wreck-diving in Bermuda, a condo in Florida, a convertible when I wanted one, a large house with an even larger mortgage...and an empty life built around little of substance and meaning. I had no passions, no hobbies, no real relationship with others, no real living faith.... no core me.

I did manage to avoid the one, fatal mistake of some of my contemporaries: affairs. 150 nights away from home is a lot of nights with a lot of temptations and opportunities. This isn't bragging or hinting at any type of superiority, it is just that I never was even remotely tempted to break my marriage vows. Why I was so firm in this regard I guess I'll ask God at the end of my life. But, trust between Betty and me was never broken, strained, or even stretched a little. Maybe that is why we will celebrate our 37th anniversary in a few weeks.

Honestly, I don't think there was one instance or one occurrence when the three "bad" words were replaced with the three "good" ones. I don't think I was really aware of the shift until four or five years into retirement. and even then it wasn't as clear as it is now. By then I had developed some outside interests and hobbies that allowed some parts of my long-buried personality to blossom. I recognized a contentment that hadn't been part of my life since my days as a carefree DJ in my early 20's. That life was a total blast with few responsibilities and constraints, but it was a life of an immature semi-adult. It couldn't continue and it didn't.

Q: How did I become aware of my shift? Galen wondered if I noticed this change all at once, or it was gradual enough that an "ah-ha" moment never really occurred. I think the latter is probably true. Actually, until I wrote the post I hadn't put all this into words. And, that wouldn't have happened if my pastor hadn't preached on the life of Paul and had used the three word concept.

It is kind of amazing when I look at the attitude I approach each day with now. After all, there are still all sorts of problems that may lie before me: financial pitfalls I can't foresee, health problems that could change everything, the health and well being of my daughters, son-in-law, grand kids, and dad, daily issues caused by our government's inability to govern....I should be as nervous as I was before.

But, I'm not. My satisfying retirement is unfolding in ways I couldn't have predicted but I welcome with open arms. Maybe time does heal many self-inflicted wounds.

Video Connections: Are You Interested?

2013-05-21T14:00:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm just a little slow to notice the obvious, but I just downloaded Skype last week. I know a lot of folks use it to make free phone calls to other Skype-equipped friends and family anywhere in the country or world. But, since my family lives here and any friends we call are easily reached by cellphone the whole phone-call-over-Internet thing didn't seem important to me.

Then I had an e-mail back-and-forth exchange with blogging friend, Galen Pearl. We discussed things we could do to stay fresh with our blogging activities. Suddenly, I remembered that Skype also has the ability to engage in video exchanges, too. It is very easy, and also free, to have a chat with someone and do it on camera so you can see and hear each other.

He has an idea!

Wow...brainstorm...idea time! Maybe some readers of this blog would like to connect with me or other readers in this way. Since most recent computers come with a built-in web cam and microphone the process is painless. For older computers, adding a $10 web cam and microphone is super simple.

One of the neatest things about blogging is the opportunity to make new friends. Last August, Betty and I traveled to Portland, Oregon. We spent face time with Galen and Barbara Torris and her husband, Earl, and became real friends, not just blogging buddies. In January we drove the two hours to Tucson to meet Linda Myers, author of another blog I read regularly, and her husband, Art. That also gave us a chance to reconnect with Barbara and Earl who spend the winter in southern Arizona.

This August we are going back to the Portland area to have more time with Galen and Barbara and Earl. In a totally serendipitous occurrence, Early Retirement Tamara and her hubby, Mike, will be in the area at the same time and want to meet for lunch. Then, comes word that Retired Syd and Doug might be in Portland. too. Finally, add to the mix that Linda and Art Myers may be driving down from Seattle to see us all and we have the makings of a blogging convention!

We may have the unique opportunity to make new friends in person with Tamara, Mike, Sydney and Doug, while strengthening our bonds with Galen, Barbara, Earl, Linda, and Art.

The connections I have made and will continue to make through blogging, are very gratifying. For a variety of reasons making new friends as we age is often difficult. I never expected blogging to be the vehicle to help Betty and me establish important friendships in other parts of the country, but it has.

In addition to the above folks, we hope to meet regular reader Pam in California when we are there in the fall, as well as Sonia Marsh. RJ Walters, the focus of a profile I wrote a month or so ago, is definitely on our radar when we get to the Midwest. Regular reader and commenter, Chuck in Tennessee, has invited us to his place when we are in the Smoky Mountain region.

Video Calls

All this leads me back to where I started: video calls. This may be an excellent way to expand relationships. So, I am wondering, would you ever want to hook up by camera and get to know each other better? Would you like the opportunity to ask me some questions about retirement, or just chat about our lives?

I am willing undergo an experiment to see if this fills a need and opens new doors. If you'd like to connect via a Skype video call, e-mail with your interest at this address: satisfyingretirement@gmail.com. We'll pick a day and time that works for both of us and see what happens.

If this seems to be fun and productive, there is a way to actually put together a conference call with several of us at the same time. Maybe we'd have a round table on when it is best to start Social Security, or what are we doing to plan for the time when we need help with daily tasks. Maybe something a little more fun: best RV parks we've been to or where to go on a summer vacation.

I don't know if video calls will work for a blog like Satisfying Retirement but when do I shy away from trying something new? I'll wait to see what the e-mail response is like. I may get none or I may be overwhelmed. Either scenario is fine; nothing ventured nothing gained.

Remember, you must have Skype installed on the computer you will be using and have a decent high speed connection. It is free, totally secure, and takes about 5 minutes to set everything up. Click the name Skype to go directly to their web site. While you can pay for the ability to call land lines and cell phones, none of that is necessary for the video calls.

In some experimentation I have done, there is an occasional tendency for the Internet connection to be lost in the middle of a video chat. There are some issues with a newer version of the software that we may have to deal with. In that case, we could continue by phone if there is more to say. But, that isn't a reason to not consider doing it.

In the meantime I'll have a comb and clean T-shirt handy to make myself presentable on short notice!

My Whole Self

2013-05-20T07:51:00.000-07:00

Today I'm going to do something I rarely do: "borrow" freely from someone else's blog. A few months ago one of my favorite retirement blogs closed down. Suzanne's blog was hacked and Google had her shut it down. I know Suzanne missed the fun of blogging, but the experience left her gun shy for awhile.

Then in early April, she reappeared with a new effort, Life out Loud. Her first post set the stage for what she was going to do with her new creative outlet. Then, she promptly left the country for a month-long vacation. A few days ago she reappeared with a fresh post. I like her new focus so much I decided to share it here.

What Suzanne did was identify the individual parts of her whole self that she considers significant to to well-being. This is her list:

The Care And Keeping Of My Whole Self

Physical Self - Taking care of my body through regular exercise and a healthy diet

Spiritual Self - Spending time in contemplative thought, prayer, and expressing gratitude

Financial Self - Being mindful of the bottom line and practicing fiscal responsibility

Family Self - Responding to the needs of family and honoring my commitments

Creative Self - Experiencing joy through self-expression

Social Self - Maintaining healthy relationships with friends; enjoying social experiences

Community Self - Being socially responsible through volunteer efforts

To my way of thinking this is a a tremendous road map for a happy life and a satisfying retirement. As has been discussed on this blog many times, I find too many resources for retirement spend virtually all their time on the financial side. Certainly, that part is vitally important. But, the cliche, "money can't buy you happiness" can be extended to include..."or a satisfying retirement." The other areas of our development are every bit as important.

In my just released book, Living a Satisfying Retirement, nearly 50 people make it very clear that a happy transition is dependent on developing every aspect of one's life. Without creativity and a way to fill one's time, a strong family relationship or circle of friends, a sense of community, and taking care of your health, the best-laid financial plans will not produce what you desire.

i am glad Suzanne has begun blogging again and allows us to accompany her on her journey to care for her whole self.

Aspire to Retire: Simple Sizing

2013-05-17T02:00:00.000-07:00

Late in 2011 I wrote a post about frugality and retirement. In re-reading it recently the message remains important. I am going to take some of it and add some fresh thoughts for this post.

I read the phrase, Simple Sizing, somewhere in the last few years and like it. Simplicity makes the process sounds as if we have all chosen complexity before. Downsizing can sound a little draconian and too much like what businesses due when it is time to shore up the bottom line. Frugality has a tinge of religious fervor that carries with it a feeling self-denial. But, whatever word we decide to use it is not unusual for some cutbacks to occur on the path to a satisfying retirement?

Simple sizing seems a good way to summarize what one is attempting to do: make our life easier by putting our possessions and wants in balance with our needs. I don't care how disciplined you may be, life has a way of adding clutter. If that weren't true the storage business wouldn't be booming. Our garages would actually be able to hold a car instead of our stuff. Do we really need a terabyte of hard drive storage? That is enough space for over 300,000 photos. OK, so maybe Betty will eventually fill one, but even so.....

There are folks who think of cutting back as being a smart steward of their money. A free movie from the library occasionally replaces the $10 ticket at the local cinema. Dinner out can be either the $5 foot long sub at Subway or a home cooked meal instead of the $30 restaurant experience. Do we really need a new wardrobe for summer?

For some others, the word takes on an almost religious tone. Spending more than is required to stay alive is to be avoided. Living space is cut to the bone. Almost all belongings are given away or sold, leaving a dresser drawer with a few changes of clothes. If possible, a car is replaced by public transportation or walking. Health insurance is dropped, in favor of self-medication and an occasional trip to the emergency room or free clinic.

This second interpretation is not what I think about when I think of simple sizing my retirement. I think of not being wasteful, not spending unnecessarily, of being economical and thrifty. How many people would not find those words something to strive for? The problem comes when each of us puts our own interpretation on those words. To somebody a 60" LED TV screen is a necessity. Buying a $60,000 car instead of the $75,000 version could be considered thrifty.

Simple sizing is in the eyes of the beholder. Living on $100,00 before retirement and $70,000 after is certainly more frugal. But, for many of us the numbers may be more like $50,000 before retirement and $25,000 after. So, how does a satisfying retirement work?

Making it work

There is no argument that it takes work and a commitment to reach the goal. It requires reassessing what you need to be happy and content. It demands that you prune those things that no longer fit within your budget. It pushes you to decide what are needs and what are wants.

Of course, a "need" for me could be a "want" for you. I need a high speed Internet connection to be able to blog. Since blogging is my passion and what occupies several hours of a typical day, cutting out the Internet connection isn't an option. I'd give up going out to any movies again if that was the trade off my budget demands.

For you maybe a "need" is a meal out at least once a week at a decent restaurant. Your volunteer work, or babysitting the grandkids, or part time work at the store leaves you drained by Friday. A meal out with your spouse, friends, or even alone, is something you look forward to. It is a reward to yourself for the week's efforts. That is a need for you and your budgeting decisions will reflect that.

Simple sizing may mean that you have to settle for a medical insurance policy that is designed to help you only if hit with huge bills after an emergency or major surgery. Regular doctor visits or drugs come out of your pocket. So, you do your research and find out the hospital and local Walgreens have regular free clinics for blood pressure checks or diabetes testing. Costco or Walmart will sell you a 90 day supply of the generic version of the expensive brand name prescription for $10.

Here are just a handful of examples of what simple sizing in retirement means to me:

Spending time with my grandkids and family. Except for gas = free
Watching a movie or documentary at home from either the library or Netflix. Cost is $17/month (less than one movie out for 2 people)
Sitting on my back porch, reading and watching birds and clouds = free
Cutting my cable TV bill from $90/month to $20
Running errands only 2 days/ week. Saves approx. $70/month in gas
Cutting meals out to just once every 10 days. Saves $160/month
Not buying new books, only used ones or going to library. Saves $50/month
Keeping a 10 year old car that squeaks and rattles for another few years.
Clipping coupons and paying attention to sales on stuff we need thus cutting our monthly food budget by about $75.
Only doing laundry and running dishwasher between 9 PM-9AM during the week (rates 66% lower).
Buying an RV and making it our vacation vehicle for the next several years..a long delayed goal that has proven to be a tremendous addition to my retirement happiness and well-being.

That last example is important in this discussion of simpler living since an RV is not inexpensive to buy or operate. For Betty and me it gives us a freedom we have been seeking. It gave us a break from our routine, allows us to step away from daily commitments and stress, and allows us to add rich memories to our marriage. At that point, it had become a need. It is an investment in ourselves.

Balancing needs, wants, and resources during retirement do work together. It requires being flexible. It means you know yourself well enough to understand what you need and what you can adjust to being without. It shouldn't mean leading a bare-bones, sterile, hand-to-mouth existence at all. It is about re-balancing, or simple sizing what you have and how you will mold it into what you need.

Share with us your efforts to simple-size.

A Retired Life: A Summary In Six Words

2013-05-15T02:00:00.001-07:00

A sermon from my pastor two Sundays ago caused me to think, not only of his Biblical message, but also how his points relate to a satisfying retirement. His message was based on the life of Paul and his conversion from a hater of Christians to the author of almost one-half of the New Testament. The pastor used two sets of three words to describe Paul's journey.

Since thinking about blogging and post topics is an on-going process, I welcomed this burst of connectiveness. There are certainly three words that can be used to accurately describe my life before retirement, and my existence since.

Before Retirement:

* Angry - I work with men just before and after their release from prison. Usually, those guys have a lot of anger to deal with. Uncontrolled anger often was what landed them behind bars in the first place. I have seen, firsthand, what unresolved anger can do to someone's life.

In my case, I am not talking about that type of anger. During the last 15 years of my career I was angry at my feeling of being out of control. I was angry I was gone from home all the time. I was angry that clients wouldn't listen to my suggestions. I was angry that the house was never "perfect" when I returned home from a road trip.

* Ambitious - There came a point when I was rather well known in my profession. Within the narrow context of a certain type of music programming I was a national figure whose presence was sought as a speaker at conventions and group meetings. I helped write a study that changed the face of radio news. One of the major radio networks hired me to tell them how to improve. Radio stations would seek me out. I was receiving large sums of money to tell people what I thought.

With that type of adoration and financial support I was riding on a wave of hubris (a great word that doesn't get used enough!). I didn't take time to learn anything new about my industry. I was content to keep repeating the same message and following the same game plan year after year. Eventually, my ambition and pride would catch up with me in a big way and end my ride.

* Unfulfilled - Even with the travel, money, and fame I was not happy. I kept thinking that someone would discover I really had no idea what I was talking about. My life revolved around work...no, hold that, I had no life. I had a career and nothing else. There were no hobbies or interests that occupied my occasional off hours.

The family would take vacations in Hawaii or our condo in Florida, but I'd never relax because I was worried about everything under the sun. Through all this my incredible wife and two amazing daughters would stand with me and never tell me to my face I was out of control.

After Retirement:

* Calm - If you have been reading Satisfying Retirement blog for awhile you'd probably conclude I am rather happy with my lifestyle. I don't think my writing expresses much anger because I don't really feel any. My life has finally achieved some sense of balance. I have learned to keep my various activities, interests, and responsibilities in their proper place. It took me 50-some years to figure out that anger is destructive to a person, a relationship, and a future. Anger is all consuming and counter-productive. This is a work in progress, but there is progress.

* Content - Sure, there are moments when I worry a bit about our finances or our health. My daughters and grand kids and their future are never far from my thoughts. I don't have the type of financial resources I expected to have at this stage of my life. My lifestyle is simpler and less cluttered than I would have ever pictured for myself. I am happy with much less than I once was.

In a word, I am content..content with my place in society, my family, and my life. You know me well enough to know that doesn't mean static. Contentment doesn't mean an end to growth and struggle. It means an end to striving for unrealistic and undesirable goals.

* Fulfilled - I am fulfilled by the way my life has unfolded. I have a woman by my side who has given me almost 37 years of her life and means more to me than life itself. I have a family one only dreams of. I am doing what I want, how I want, and when I want. I believe I am loved by God. I have friends who I would walk over hot coals for. I even have a dog that loves me with the type of devotion only a canine can provide. In short, no matter what the future holds for me, I have a peace and sense of fulfillment that can never be taken away.

Retirement has been very, very good to me. I wish for you the same.

Note: good blogging buddy and friend, Galen Pearl, found some inspiration from this post. She blogged about it here: Transformations , and has challanged me to dig a bit deeper into why these changes occured in me.

I will do so.

Living a Satisfying Retirement Just Published!

2013-05-13T02:00:00.002-07:00

I am proud to announce the publication of my newest book, Living a Satisfying Retirement. Now available on Amazon, this book is a follow up to Building a Satisfying Retirement, published two years ago.

Living a Satisfying Retirement is a project that took a small village (to steal a phrase from somewhere) to produce. Over 50 folks were gracious enough to fill out an extensive questionnaire during the summer of 2012 and allow me to reproduce their answers.

Both those already retired and those moving toward retirement participated. Each was asked questions about his or her plans, likelihood of moving, the effect on important relationships, what financial planning had taken place, and how a day without a job would be filled. To protect particpants' identities, I used fictitious names, but the answers you will read are just as they were submitted.

The answers were open and forthright. Frankly, after almost three years of blogging, I was pretty sure the answers wouldn't surprise me. I was wrong in several instances. The answers dealing with creativity, the range of interests and activities cited, and the effect of the last several years of a poor economy were not what I expected.

Is this new life what they expected? What good was all the planning they did ahead of time? What bumps (or giant sinkholes) may be waiting for them up ahead? What is their daily life like without a paycheck and a place to go every day?

How about those who haven’t retired yet? What are their biggest worries and uncertainties? What questions would they like to ask of someone who has been retired for a time? Another group completed a series of questions to help answer these questions and concerns.

A partial list of the questions asked include:

* How long have you been retired?
* Was it your choice to stop working? If so, why did you stop when you did?

* What do you miss the most about your old job or career?

* How much of your pre-retirement income are you living on?

* How much did you plan for what you wanted to do when you retired?
* What are your favorite parts of retirement?
* What are your least favorite parts?
* How do you fill your days? Are you ever bored or does your time fill up?
* What effect did retirement have on your important relationships?

For those not yet retired, some of the questions (and answers) include:

* How much longer do you expect to work before retiring?
* What are you most looking forward to when you retire?
* What are you most concerned about?

* Do you have hobbies and interests that you expect to spend time pursuing?
* What effect do you expect retirement will have on key relationships?
* Are you likely to move soon after retirement?

* What is the one question you’d like a retired person to answer for you?

Whether retired or planning for it, Living a Satisfying Retirement is written to give you a tool that is indispensable: advice from real people living the life you dream about.

The book is available in the Kindle format at Amazon. If you don't have a Kindle reader, Amazon provides free software for your computer or smart phone to allow you to benefit from the life experiences of these folks.

Priced at just $2.99, the sale of this book will help me keep this blog financially viable. I run very little advertising, so income from freelance writing and this book pays the bills. I hope you will consider a purchase today.

That being said, if you can't purchase the book at this time, I deeply appreciate your continued support for the Satisfying Retirement blog. I love being here for you and building a community of those who believe retirement is one of the best times of our lives.

To buy a copy now, click Living a Satisfying Retirement.

If you live outside the U.S. be sure to use the Amazon site for your country, like Amazon.ca for Canada. The book is available for immediate download in virtually every country in the world.

Thank you!

Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll

2013-05-10T02:00:00.000-07:00

For me there are a few phrases that bring back strong memories of the 1960's and early 70's: "if it feels good, just do it," "sock it to me," and "Sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll." This last one was meant to convey the free and open attitude embodied by the newly energized, British-led music invasion and the free-love, pot-smoking message conveyed by much of that music.

Haight-Ashbury, love-ins, the peace sign, The Vietnam War protests...the list is endless. As a rock and roll radio DJ of this era I was exposed to more than my fair share of this lifestyle. While my conservative friends of today might be surprised at this revelation, I was a product of the 60's, hanging out with recording artists, single, and tasting from the banquet of life.

Luckily, I woke up to the risks I was taking and stopped sometime around my mid 20's, about the time I met my wife-to-be. The thrills were gone and the lifestyle no longer satisfied me.

Flash forward almost forty years (oh my heavens...really?). The phrase sex, drugs, and rock n' roll has a somewhat different meaning to us today. A post from April, Sex: At Our Age? After Retirement?, took a look at the changes in attitudes and expectations of this rather important part of human relationships. Studies show that healthy adults can anticipate maintaining a sexual life into the 7th or even 8th decade of life. No longer a "test" of performance or virility, sex becomes just one part of an overall, mature, intimate relationship with another person. Usually it is no longer the main course, but part of a well balanced diet.

In the 60's and 70's drugs, not unlike sex, were for recreational purposes. Many of us were not immune to the allure of marijuana, hash, or even LSD. I must quickly add that I never tried, nor had any interest in LSD. But, unlike Bill Clinton, I did inhale the other substances. The most profound effects were sleepiness and the munchies.

Today, drugs mean pills to help me sleep, battle allergies, or the stiffness that comes from arthritis. For my age (64 today!) I take fewer pills than many of my peers. I am more likely to down a handful of vitamins and minerals to keep what is functioning in working order.

Rock N' Roll used to be the central core of of my life. As a DJ I was exposed to music all day, everyday. Except when I was asleep, rock music was always playing. Four to six hours a day I'd be in a small radio studio, music blaring at full blast. At home a Jethro Tull or Beatles album would immediately be started upon my return to my apartment. Since my roommate was also a disc jockey, we were never not talking about or listening to the latest hits. Rock music paid my bills.

Today, rock n' roll is about memories. When I want to relax I will put on classical or solo piano music. Occasionally during a weekend of house cleaning, a Beatles, Beach Boys, or Chicago CD will be cranked up. The RV was stocked with dozens of CDs for the 3 week trip we just ended. But, music, in any form is no longer the constant companion it was.

Once a week I do take part in a ham radio gathering of people who like to discuss 60's music and television shows. One fellow is near Washington, D.C., another in Omaha, still another in Indiana, and a handful from Tucson, Prescott, and Phoenix. We have a great time trying to answer rather obscure trivia questions. Because of my former profession I have an unfair advantage, so I usually answer last. It is fun and I continue to learn something new most weeks.

Sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll: a simple phrase that captured much of what I remember about my early adulthood. Isn't it interesting that, with a very different interpretation, the same words continue to resonate today.

Today is my 64th birthday. My first Social Security check gets deposited in my account next month. I'm celebrating by getting a new smartphone. The old one has a crack across the screen when I dropped it on the bathroom floor. Not as fascinating as my life once was, but that's the way it is.

Unintended Consequences

2013-05-08T02:00:00.000-07:00

A regular reader of Satisfying Retirement left a comment a month or so ago that raised an issue of retiring that I had never thought of before. Here is what he said:

"A new insight today....a little bit of anger from my friends who are feeling abandoned by my plans to leave the community. I knew it would be scary for me, but I think I underestimated the impact upon my friends, band mates and neighbors. I just didn't think of myself as being all that important in their lives. It is a bittersweet revelation. I doubt I'll lose any friendships, but I know some of them are feeling pain that I never intended to inflict. I wonder how commonly this occurs."

Dr. Keith

I have written quite often about moving after retirement. It is a major decision that should not be taken lightly. I usually advise folks to wait at least a year after retirement before moving to a new home. Leaving work is a major cause of stress to nearly everyone, as is moving. To pile them on top of each other is risky.

With that said, I have never really written about the effect on those you leave behind. Often a move made is to be closer to family, leave bad weather, or find a place with a lower cost of living. But, what about friends? Dr. Keith has raised an interesting point about unintended consequences and what, if anything, we need to do about them.

I imagine you are familiar with the concept of unintended consequences: something you do or say has a ripple effect you didn't consider. Some of the best examples occur when some level of government passes a law without fully considering all the ramifications. Unexpected complications or effects not planned for occur. Whoops!

Unintended consequences are a part of life. On the job you are probably quite familiar with something that might qualify: an e-mail that is read by the wrong person, a snide comment that is overheard by the boss, a tendency to be the first to leave the office every night. There is also the flip side: a report that is finished early and helps solve a problem, or a compliment to a co-worker that energizes her to find a solution to something that is hurting company profits.

During retirement there are all sorts of example of unintended consequences. Dr. Kieth mentioned one that deserves some thought on your part if it fits your situation. Here are a few others:

...The quality of your retirement is negatively affected because you didn't save/invest enough for the lifestyle you are leading.

...You never pushed back from the table or refused that large piece of chocolate cake, so you find yourself taking a boatload of pills and seeing the doctor much too often.

...You treated your spouse like an indentured servant and can't understand why things are so unpleasant at home.

...You enabled your adult child to avoid responsibility for his or her own life for too long, and now they are permanently dependent on you.

...You keep waiting to do something "until tomorrow" and tomorrow never comes.

Then, on the positive side of the unintended consequence coin:

...You lived simply and without lots of "needs." Now you find you can afford to spend that summer in Paris you have always dreamed of.

...You treated others the way you'd want to be treated, and now your life is filled with friends.

...You found activities and interests that keep you energized and excited. As a result you are rarely bored and always looking forward to what each day brings.

According to Wikipedia, unintended consequences are outcomes that are not the ones intended by a purposeful action. Because these outcomes can be helpful or hurtful, thinking through all aspects of a decision is the wisest course of action. Then, it is more likely that the consequences will be intended instead.

Another Retirement Option: Spiritually Based Communities

2013-05-06T02:00:00.000-07:00

If I say, "Sun City," you probably have a definite image: a planned community in the sunbelt somewhere. Your mental picture includes golf courses, golf carts, an activity center, a pool, and streets lined with small homes.

Such retirement communities are still the first choice for many for their satisfying retirement. They are safe and secure, have plenty of planned activities, and are usually located near first class medical facilities. Living in Phoenix I am quite familiar with the various Sun Cities - after all Dale Webb invented the concept and opened the first one on the west side of Phoenix on January 1, 1960. Over 50 years later the original Sun City has nearly 39,000 folks calling it home.

In the last several years other organized retirement options have become available. A year ago I wrote about some different retirement options that included living on a cruise ship full time, relocating to another country, or living in an RV and serving as a park ranger. A follow up post detailed the growing interest in cohousing, either for those 55+ or for mixed generations. The Cohousing Organization is an excellent place to look for more information.

Multi-generational housing is also increasing in popularity. Grandparents, mom and dad, and children share the same house. Sometimes this is due to economic need. But, in many cultures, having everyone together is a tremendous way for an extended family to care for each other in a very tangible way.

Another growing option is to stay in one's own home as long as possible. Aging in place is a valid choice for many. Better overall health, better home health care services, and home modifications make staying in a home you love a reasonable answer for many. Continuing care communities, with independent, assisted, and nursing care living are the first choice for many.

A fellow sent me an e-mail recently about yet another choice that I had not heard of before: a spiritually based retirement community. I know there are retirement homes sponsored by various religious denominations. But, this idea is different. Those who are looking to deepen their spiritual growth and development live with other like-minded retirees.

Located in Hawaii, Polestar Gardens is for seniors interested in spending their golden years in the company of like-minded souls, deepening their spiritual life--not just in entertainment and amusements, but in meditation, chanting, and creative service. their web site states they follow the teachings of Paramhansa Yogananda but welcome those from other paths who feel attuned to these universal teachings of meditation and service to others. They are not affiliated with any other organization.

While Polestar Gardens is not my spiritual cup of tea, I find it so encouraging that the number of options we have continues to expand. Where Betty and I will choose to move when the time comes we continue to discuss. Who knows what options will exist when we are faced with that decision.

If Life Were a Movie Review

2013-05-03T02:00:00.000-07:00

The recent passing of movie critic Roger Ebert got me thinking one of my odd thoughts: what if our satisfying retirement was like a movie review? Others watched your life unfold and gave you two thumbs up, or down. Rotten Tomatoes gave you a 65 or 75 or .....45% approval rating.

Actually, in a sense, this happens everyday. You are on stage, in all sorts of public settings where others are observing you: the coffee shop, grocery store, auto repair shop, or drug store. OK, in most cases people are not "reviewing" you. Actually, most of the time, they are so focused on themselves they are ignoring you.

But, if we can imagine for just a few moments, what would a "person reviewer" say about your life? Let's take a few of the normal ways a critic judges a movie and apply it to our life.

Originality: in a movie it is usually important that there be something original about the plot or the characters. The director has found some different way to tell a familiar story that the audience finds memorable. Sure, there are sequels that work well, but even they need a fresh twist on the original story.

A life well lived is very similar. If we try to copy someone else, live someone else's life, or just follow the standard path even if it doesn't suit us, we will miss what being truly alive is all about. Each one of us has a unique set of skills, gifts, and personality. Our lives must reflect that to be truly alive.

Character Development: I am sure we have all seen movies where the characters never come alive. Either the words they speak are wooden and unnatural, or the plot never forces them to change. The movie is no more than a still photo repeated for two hours.

One definition of character I found says it is the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. As we age, we change. We gather life experiences. It would be unusual for someone to be exactly the same at 20 or 30 as he is at 50 or 60. Life has its effect on us, both for good and bad. And, like a well-written movie script, we deepen and grow because of what happens. The key question becomes whether your character is developing in a way that represents the core of who you are.

Musical Score: Music and sound can really enhance a movie. In some cases a certain musical presentation is what is most memorable. If I mention the movie, Jaws, don't you think of that sound when the great white is getting closer to the swimmer? Or, how about the theme from Star Wars? For many of us those notes are filled with memories.

Most of our lives aren't quite as dramatic as those two examples. But, think of a musical score as that part of your life that enhances the main story. Maybe it is a beautiful smile that lights up a room. It could be you are always there when a friend needs help or comfort. You can tell a joke at just the right time to defuse a tense or uncomfortable situation. These attributes aren't all your life is about, but they certainly add color and meaning to your life story.

Comparison to others in the same genre: Movie critics will often compare a particular type of movie to one that came before. Romantic dramas may be compared to Casablanca. A new tough-guy male actor has the performances of Clint Eastwood or Sylvester Stallone lurking in the shadows. Who else could play Indiana Jones other than Harrison Ford? While sometimes unfair, it is inevitable that a new movie will have to compete with the past.

In human terms, we are always being compared to others. What type of career did we have, how big is our home, what do we drive? Our consumer-driven economy is based on creating desires for things we don't have. However, a satisfying retirement is very often built around a rejection of that mindset. As we mature and realize what really makes us happy, things we buy or possess often retreat into the background. Experiences, contentment, a more simplified lifestyle, or stronger relationships with others become the "things" we care more about.

Ultimately, we may see a movie even if a critic give it two thumbs down. Personally, I tend to disagree with the "experts" most of the time. Movies that score poorly I like while blockbusters often leave me cold.

Should I (or you) care what type of "review" others may give my life? No, not really. I am confident enough in my own decisions and self awareness to not worry too much about a less than blockbuster review. Importantly, though, I try to listen whenever an opinion or suggestion is offered. Improvement in all areas of my life is my goal. That may be impossible if I'm not open enough to a script suggestion or a new way to enhance the music score that enriches my life.

Lights - camera - action!

The Positive Power of Affirmation

2013-05-01T02:00:00.000-07:00

Affirmation is a very powerful action. We all know how good it feels to be affirmed by someone for something we have done or said or written. The person affirming us is making a statement about our worth or competence in some area.

I have a friend who is a world class affirmer. He can find something to praise about anyone at any time. Importantly, he is completely sincere. He doesn't say something just to make the other person feel good, but because he truly believes the affirmation he is offering.

He got me thinking about the amazing power of affirmation and how easy it is to make someone else's day with little effort on our part. I try to emulate his example whenever I can. I will be the first to admit I have been a poor affirmer in the past. My family sometimes jokes that my empathy was removed at birth. But, I have been working on getting better. Trust me, if I can do it, anyone can do it.

Two months ago I wrote about the end of Saturday delivery for mail by the Postal Service in No Mail for You! It was a straight forward piece of writing that talked about the unfairness of a system that forces the Post Office to preform a service without giving it the resources to do so. It generated many more comments than I would have expected. Why? Because those who left their thoughts and my follow up comments were highly supportive of postal workers and the service they provide under very trying circumstances. In essence, the post became a good example of affirmation.

Sometime last year Betty and I happened to be at our neighborhood park. It is large, always busy, and always clean. I wandered by one of the fellows who was emptying a trash can and straightening a picnic table. I remarked how well maintained the park is and we appreciate his efforts. The smile I received in return was as bight as the noon day sun. You would have thought I'd given him a winning lottery ticket. A simple heartfelt comment cost me 5 seconds but probably made his day. I imagine a park worker rarely gets complimented, but for a job well done, why not?

Engaging in pleasant conversation with a checkout clerk is another easy way to affirm someone who rarely gets that type of positive stroke. Rather than treating that person as invisible, say something pleasant or compliment the store's selection or.... it almost doesn't matter. Being treated like a fellow human being by acknowledging his or her presence in a positive way is painless but has tremendous power.

Betty and I will go out of our way to interact with a particular clerk at the grocery store we frequent. Even if another line is shorter we will almost always spend the extra time, just because it seems to make her day. We are on a first name basis with each other. She tells us about her problems while we share ours. She enjoys bantering with me as I give her a tough time about almost everything. She beams when she sees us each week and always says she will see us next week. Of the hundreds of people each day who watch her ring up their food purchases, can you imagine how good she would feel about her job if even 10-15 of those customers talked with her and complimented her with a simple "thank you" and wished her well?

Have you ever said something to the person who picks up your trash? If I am outside when the truck comes by I make it a point to simply smile and salute the driver with a quick wave of my hand. A library worker who is re-shelving books deserves a quick thanks for how well the library is run or how glad you are it is now open longer hours.

One of the worst jobs has to be an office worker or receptionist in a doctor's office. All day long they deal with people who are sick or in pain. They have to hear horror stories about insurance companies and rising premiums. Of course, it isn't their fault. Treat them with respect as professionals doing the best they can in a broken system. Heavens, even many doctors would benefit from a little affirmation. They didn't design the system that forces them to see 10 patients an hour just to stay in business.

It comes with different names, like random acts of kindness. But, in its simplest form it is treating another person the way you'd want to be treated. Affirmation and recognition of a job well done are powerful weapons in the war against incivility.

Our society needs all the warriors we can muster in this battle.

It's Good To Be Home

2013-04-29T02:00:00.000-07:00

After 20 days and 2350 miles we are home. Betty, Bailey, and I arrived back on Friday after a tremendously enriching RV trip. Regular blog readers know we ventured from our home base of Scottsdale, through southern Arizona, across southern New Mexico, and ended as far east as central Texas. Our return took us through Big Spring and Amarillo, Texas, Santa Fe, New Mexico, and Flagstaff, Arizona before returning to the Valley of the Sun.

We spent $1,100 on gas, or about 45% of the total cost of the trip. We rented a car for a week in Fredericksburg, Texas and one day in Santa Fe. That $256 was some of the best money spent. It allowed us to explore without having to maneuver a 30 foot monster in and out of small parking spaces and on narrow mountain roads. Enterprise picked us up at the RV parks and returned us after each rental.....loved it!

Along the way we battled almost continuous winds. Most days, gusts as high as 45 miles per hour were not uncommon. The shorts and T-shirts rarely made it out of the suitcase. Temperatures stayed in the 50s or 60s during most days and in the 30s overnight.

As I noted in RV Travel and Lessons Learned I am spoiled by Scottsdale's warm weather and mostly calm winds. For many parts of the country April is a month of violent contrasts and weather extremes. Frankly, when we picked the dates for this trip we had no expectations that the weather would be the way it was. Live and learn.

We began this trip with high expectations but a realistic understanding that our ideas would be tested. Living in such a confined space, with a nervous dog that tended to bark at any distraction, and having to adjust to a rather substantial change in how we normally live, might work..... and it might not. There was a chance the money we spent on the RV might turn out to be a huge mistake. Even the vehicle itself was going to be put to the test. Previously we had never traveled more than 90 miles from home.

With a great sense of relief I can honestly report this was a positive adventure Betty and I won't soon forget. We have proven to ourselves that we truly enjoy the freedom RV travel provides. The simplification of life and the changes in daily routine are very attractive. The ability to be self-contained and to go where and when we want is a joy.

Betty was able to take thousands of photos which she will turn into a tremendous memory of this trip for us to enjoy for years to come. We both were able to read several books each. I wrote posts and had time to think about the blog's future direction. I even came up with a business idea that will allow us to write off many future trips. Even Bailey began to learn that the world isn't as scary as she thought and maybe every other person and dog isn't something to be afraid of.

We have just barely unpacked and started to scrub the RV inside and out and are already thinking of our 7 day trip to Payson and Show Low, Arizona in June and our three week trip through California in October. Add to that a non-RV month in Portland in August and 2013 is shaping up to be a very good year. We have discussed spending at least two months next summer in Flagstaff. Betty and I seem quite committed to avoiding as much of a Phoenix summer as we can from this point forward. 28 summers is enough.

Over the last week of the trip I began to put together a list of what I had learned about RV travel. Three weeks on the road should produce something more lasting than good memories and 3,000 pictures. Here is what I have come up with:

...It is just as easy to over pack on an RV trip as for any type of vacation. Lots of heavy canned goods and too many clothes complicates things.

...A good Internet connection is important to a blogger, e-mailer, and Netflix watcher! WiFi is widely available but varies in quality tremendously. I am going to spend the extra money to turn my cell phone into a WiFi hot spot.

...It is important to have at least one goal a day. Otherwise, it is too easy to spend hours just reading and napping. Of course, that "goal" could be something as simple as working with Bailey for 30 minutes on her social skills, or rearranging the storage bins underneath R.T. It could be visiting a nearby park for a picnic and hike. The point is, something should be on the agenda.

...RV parks rarely look like the pictures on the web site. Even so, most are quite acceptable. During this trip we stayed at 12 different parks. Only two were really substandard. Both were rated well by Good Sam Club which makes me question their standards.

...It is very important to put things away after use. An RV is too small to allow any clutter. What you can get away with at home won't work in 200 square feet.

...It is too easy to slip up on personal hygiene and basic health maintenance, like washing often enough, flossing and vitamin-taking. I have discovered, though, that in cooler climates it is OK to not shower every day and still be allowed in polite society.

...Once a week, we need to perform a major cleaning of the inside of the RV. Wash the sheets, wipe every surface down, sweep out every corner, disinfect the kitchen, and spend extra time cleaning the bathroom.

...Betty and I need private time, even on an RV trip. It could be a long walk alone, or one of us in the back bedroom while the other stays in the living area. In Fredericksburg, Betty had a tremendous time alone one afternoon after I dropped her off downtown. She went into virtually every store, took all sorts of photos, and spent time on a bench just people-watching. When I picked her back up later that day she was completely refreshed.

...Don't plan a trip that involves changing location every day. At least once every 3 days, it is important to stay put for two or three nights. Setting up camp, tearing it down the next morning, driving five hours, and setting up again can become exhausting and cause unnecessary tensions.

...Some of our future trips will be best taken without the dog. Bailey can spend 3-4 hours alone in the RV without a problem. But, if we have a full day planned away from camp, having a dog along limits what can be done.

...Three weeks on the road is not too long...quite the opposite. I don't think we fully relaxed and started to completely enjoy the change of pace until the start of the second week. Betty and I are giving serious thought to least two months in the RV next summer and a two month trip to the upper Midwest at some point down the road (pun intended).

Even so, Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz had it right: there is no place like home.

For lots of pretty pictures be sure to click on the link at the top of this page that says: Some Recent Photos From Betty's Camera: Wildseed Farm in Fredericksburg, Texas

Where is the Motivation?

2013-04-26T02:00:00.001-07:00

Note: this post was written before we left on our RV trip. We return home today, Friday. I'll have some thoughts and a recap ready by Monday.

A few years ago I started to teach myself guitar after realizing I missed making music. I've been surrounded by music my whole life but had stopped playing an instrument when I was 17. With college around the corner and my radio career already beginning I just put that part of my life away. Except for listening to music, my satisfying retirement was lacking something.

After several false starts and stops with the guitar I started taking lessons about nine months ago. Teaching myself would only take me so far. Then, I'd reach a plateau or get to a point where I couldn't figure something out on my own (like finger picking) and stop. So I found a teacher I liked and showed up weekly for his guidance.

Not unlike my personal attempts, after the first two months I started inventing excuses to miss a lesson. I found I was getting very nervous and tense the day or two before each session. I understood that was silly. After all, I was paying him so he wasn't about to yell at me. I did practice 30-45 minutes six days a week but I seemed to be picking up the techniques more slowly than I thought I should. We seemed to be going over the same problem areas week after week.

Finally, I decided to stop the weekly lessons and go back to playing for myself. The last thing the teacher told me was to stop worrying so much about exactness and where my thumb was on the guitar neck and just have fun playing music.

That helped. I had picked up enough in those three months to be able to move forward in my ability. I could play both melody and the most common chords without much of a problem. I enjoyed hearing the songs coming from my efforts.

But, then for reasons I really don't understand I began playing less and less: from daily, to every other day, to twice a week, to finally once a week. Anyone who plays an instrument knows playing just once a week isn't going to work. That isn't enough practice for muscle memory or even to remember the chord progressions.

The part I don't understand is that when I finally do pick up the guitar I like making music. I enjoy hearing recognizable tunes coming from the instrument. But, the motivation to put in the work just isn't there. I look for every excuse in the world to put off playing.....but I like it when I do play.

That makes no sense to me. Something I enjoy I shy away from. Something I have invested time and energy in has become something to avoid in my mind. Yes, I have lots to keep me occupied. Sometimes I feel over-scheduled and look forward to the next RV trip because then I am away from the calendar. But, that still doesn't explain why I have this battle over the guitar.

Oh well, if this is my biggest problem, I guess my satisfying retirement is still playing the right notes.

Disposable Razors

2013-04-24T02:00:00.000-07:00

This is not a post about personal grooming. It is about adjusting your viewpoint.

This is not a post about our throwaway society. It is about being open to something new.

On our RV trip I brought an electric shaver. It is OK most of the time. It is convenient, holds a charge for weeks, and gets close enough for most occasions (especially a vacation). But, once every three weeks or so I like to use shaving cream and a razor to give myself a real shave. Unfortunately I forgot to pack any blades on this trip so I stopped at Walgreens to buy some.

As most of us are aware, razor companies pretty much give away the handle to make their money on the blades. With dozens of different styles, once you have committed to a handle, you have committed to a certain blade. They are not interchangeable. Just like office printers where the ink costs more than the printer after a year or so, blades are expensive. For men, Gillette keeps adding blades to each saving head; I think they are up to five per razor blade now.

My handle is probably 15 years old and uses a two strip blade. Imagine, only 2 shaving surfaces! How primitive As you might imagine finding that type of blade after all these years is very difficult but I persist, until Betty offered a solution that had never occurred to me: disposable razors.

I kid you not. I knew such things existed but I think of these cheap, flimsy, handles with poor quality blades that nick and slice someone's face when disposable razors are mentioned. Guess what? Disposable razors aren't garbage anymore. Companies has figured out how to manufacture a decent, reasonably priced, disposable handle/blade. Who knew?

Betty looked at me like I had my lights on but no one was home. "You didn't know about good quality disposables?" I think she was wondering who she had married. My excitement at finding a workable solution to my shaving blade problem energized all evening. I even shaved after dinner just to try it out. It worked! And, I smelled good!

My point is larger than the fact than I have missed a rather common development in the world of personal grooming. It is all about being open to new ideas.

For well over a decade I have continued to invest increasingly large sums of money in an increasingly futile search for something that has swerved me well in the past, and therefore is just fine for today....even when it isn't.

What other actions and decisions do I stick with out of loyalty, habit, or lack of perceived alternatives? What else is part of my life even when its usefulness is over? Actually, our RV trip is opening my eyes to several ways I live that may need some examination:

* A simple dinner is just as satisfying as one that takes lots of prep time or dirties too many dishes. Plastic plates and cups are sometimes a great choice.

* A nap when needed is a true blessing, but when it becomes a habit there is a need to reassess. I have taken fewer post-lunch naps on this vacation and haven't missed them. In fact, I notice the "extra" time Betty and i have to do something more fun or productive.

* I need to do a better job of controlling my computer/Internet time. Is the lack of a solid WiFi signal important enough to ruin my day? Seriously?

* Habitually I have four cups of coffee a day, though I really enjoy only two of them. On this trip I have had just two cups each day. So, I just have to stop going through the motions at home.

All of this from a disposable razor!