A Serendipitous Sojourn...

i did it for [my]SELF

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 02:54:00 +0000

Image Credit: http://poundingheartbeat.com/

"we were never meant for do or die." ~kelly clarkson

leaving is sometimes a matter of self-preservation, not selfishness. ~me

self-deception is

the trading of lies for truth

for the sake of love

self-respect denies

and will not accept as true

such lies have no place

self-awareness has

brought abundant clarity

to light my way out

fighting against [my]self

wanting what does not want me

scared of what the future holds

afraid it holds no more than this

for me, this is not enough...

walk away with victory;

we're not meant to be

serendipity revisited...

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 08:16:00 +0000

"Where words fail, music speaks." ~Hans Christian Andersen | And in the most wonderfully serendipitous of moments, they find one another & join together in harmony...

when i could find no words,
all that was needed, you said.
when my spirit weighed heavy,
drifting further away,
you guided it safely back to shore.
when my limbs
lacked strength to hold,
you held;
every burden,
you bore.
when tears from me
like rivers flowed,
to your chest,
i placed my head.
loving me unconditionally,
you drew all sorrow from me;
imparting peace,
while wrapping
me in harmony...
slowly we moved
in time
to the symphony
composed in our minds...
and we could find no words,
no further actions to be taken -
strengthened from within
by a love that radiated throughout,
as our bodies swayed
and our opus played,
we made love -
out of doubt.
we shaped destiny -
out of fear.
and we spoke volumes -
to ears that would not hear.

©2011 Antoinette Dickson

the power of love

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 21:41:00 +0000

"Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place." ~Zora Neale Hurston

ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ

lips loosened from

a lifetime of fears,

no longer victim

to the whim

of inhibitions,

free... to whisper

free... to shout

free... to share

free, simply to be

and free to speak

of wants & desires denied,

of daydreams turned nightmares

lacking the nourishment needed

to become dreams made manifest.

but somewhere in the darkness,

the light of love shone in,

permeating to the core

where once existed

an abyss so obscure,

it seemed nothing

would ever fill it.

then, came you...

loving me with such an intensity

that it gave me the strength

to find my courage & love you back

ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ

"Who could refrain that had a heart to love and in that heart courage to make love known?"

~William Shakespeare

love against all odds (haiku style)

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:17:00 +0000

This is dedicated to those who loved and lost, but loved themselves enough

to appreciate the value of loving again, and did.

ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ
"If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces,

never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again." ~Flavia Weedn

ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ

makes my spirit soar
like nothing i've ever dreamed of
being loved by you

causes me to sigh
when i reflect on days past...
in awe of us now

naysayers challenged
doubting we would even last
not knowing our faith

conceived in God's heart,
we were the last piece added...
love's true mosaic

©2012 Antoinette Dickson

Image Credit: Microsoft Download Galleries

Yesterday's Promise

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:23:00 +0000

Unplugged. ©J. Michael Howard

In honor of J. Michael Howard
June 13, 1956 - January 5, 2012

ƹ̴ӂ̴ʒ ƹ̴ӂ̴ʒ ƹ̴ӂ̴ʒ ƹ̴ӂ̴ʒ ƹ̴ӂ̴ʒ ƹ̴ӂ̴ʒ

"The whole of life is but a moment of time.

It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it."

~Plutarch

Tomorrow,

I will tell him
all the things

I will not say today.

Tomorrow

I will show him
all the love for him

that is today, hidden away.

When daylight breaks
and separates
the dusk

from the dawn,
in silence,
I will

reveal my heart
in earnest defiance

to past moments

of hesitation
that I allowed to hold
these loving revelations at bay.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is...
ever coming,
yet never arriving.

In the moment that I purpose
to give myself

over to its possibilities,
what could be
becomes what is
and a new tomorrow is formed...

Left behind are yesterday's promises,
incapable of being fulfilled tomorrow,
because today is being perpetually reborn.

ƹ̴ӂ̴ʒ ƹ̴ӂ̴ʒ ƹ̴ӂ̴ʒ ƹ̴ӂ̴ʒ ƹ̴ӂ̴ʒ ƹ̴ӂ̴ʒ

The artistry of his gifted hands will never share a new masterpiece, but he will live on in the gallery of our hearts until the end of time. Prayers of comfort and peace to the family and friends blessed to have known the incomparable J. Michael Howard.

the ABCs of love (just for fun)

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 06:22:00 +0000

agreeable

blessing
caring
divine
erotic
forever
gifted
heavenly
inspiring
joyful
kind
long-lasting
memorable
new
obedient
precious
quixotic
reciprocity
submissive
treasured
undeniable
vulnerability
wondrous
XLV*
yearning
zealous

*(XLV = 45 and is the number of days from New Year's to St. Valentine's Day.)

©2011 Antoinette Dickson

Got love?

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 23:38:00 +0000

I've heard it said that you can't miss what you've never had, and yet, countless among us yearn for love having never experienced it, and in some cases, having no clue what it is. Author Merry Browne wrote, "Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom." The only way to unlock the door is through knowledge. It's time to trade those preconceived notions for facts...

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies.
Excerpted from 1 Corinthians 13 (The Message)

©2011 Antoinette Dickson

If you would like to read more of what the Bible has to say about love, visit Josh Wiley's Bible Verses About Love: 25 Awesome Scripture Quotes.

the beginning of my masterPEACE

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 21:58:00 +0000

the day he spoke us into existence,

he took the sting

of my most painful memories

and offered me peace,

in exchange for my angst.

i gave him
my undivided attention

and he allocated
my every thought

its own place
of value
in his heart.

he gathered
the broken pieces,

carefully filling
the voids with love.

a matter of give and take

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 22:20:00 +0000

"LOVE is not give and take; love is give." ~Mark Hart
(Note to self: All that love is, we never were.)

i loved you
and let you
you let me
and you lied

i bet you
i kept you
warm inside
while you left me
out in the cold

i gave you all
unconditionally;
you gave me some
sparingly...
one-sided
lop-sided
blinded to the truth
unwilling to accept it
wasted time
spent youth

i loved you
(or so the story goes)

you loved me
(greatest lie ever told)

one day, maybe
(more like, "no way, baby")

i loved you... the only way i knew how
and let you... into my sacred trust
you let me... because it was convenient
and you lied... defiling my greatest gift

as i gather together what remains,
[tattered, torn and in disarray]
i know that i will heal just fine,
as soon as
i send you
on your way.

©2011 Antoinette Dickson

i am... ever [r]evolving

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 16:24:00 +0000

i acquiesced, in ignorance,

my authority to another.

he feigned to be my friend;

he was an unfaithful lover.

the truth i learned,

in retrospect,

was a bitter pill to receive.

i had cultivated soil

and planted seeds

solely in my dreams.

and since abundance

was never yours to give,

the return on my investment

valued less than common weeds...

unmistakable

the need to feel truly loved

until i loved me

haplessly hoping

my worth, another would see

the problem was me

refused to believe

held captive by my blindness

vision now restored

perceptions evolved

approval no longer sought

gifted myself love

possibilities

unlimited potential

living — loving — free

weeds now plucked,

my garden now flourishes,

as does my spirit's ability to soar,

my heart's capacity to love,

and my mind's desire to create.

yes, i am.

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 01:18:00 +0000

i'm not asking you

to forgive me

for wanting

to talk love

to someone

incapable of

understanding love

[i mean...]

to someone

incapable of

understanding

[and]

incapable of

loving...

that same someone

who is afraid

to be loved

because

the last time,

love got too close

and it burned him

and left him hurt...

then here i come,

looking like love,

the very likeness

of the last love

that turned out

to be a lie;

and while he struggles

with the why

he is certain

of the what

and it's not

how he wants it

so when i get close

he doesn't know

where to run

because

he is done

with love

and he

doesn't want

to talk

about love

and he

won't admit that

i am love

because he

has too much pride

to admit that

he got it wrong

the last time

and that the last lie

was not true

because

it was not me

for you see,

love

because i made it about you...

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 03:37:00 +0000

you

WERE

the very air

that i breathed.

like mercury

permeating my skin,

crossing every barrier

i had in place,

entering into

my private space,

with an unmistakable haste,

daring to corrupt

the hospitable,

while poisoning me

against myself,

until such time as

I turned on ME

and made your tasks easy.

detox

means

SURVIVAL...

in outpatient therapy,

i remain.

Let's go!

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

"You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club." ~Jack London

If things are not going the way you think they should, ask yourself whether you are doing everything you can and/or need to be doing for them to be different. And before you answer, doing what you can and/or need to IS NOT the same as doing all you know. It is much easier to increase knowledge than it is to overcome laziness and being unmotivated. If you want more out of life, put more into the life you're living. How can you reap what you've yet to sow? Invest what you have until such time that you have more. The longer you concern yourself with what you lack, the more of your energy and resources you divert away from the pursuit of what you want and can have. TODAY is a good day to take a step away from where you are and begin to make progress in the right direction. What are you waiting for, a personalized invitation? LET'S GO!

Refocus. Refine. Redefine.

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 03:37:00 +0000

The most important thing in life is to stop saying 'I wish' and start saying 'I will.'

Consider nothing impossible, then treat the possibilities as probabilities.

~David Copperfield

It's a new week and that means it's time to refocus, refine or redefine a few things. Start this week focused on the positive, refusing to accept the negative, and avoiding the waste of time which is neutrality. Anyone can have a Plan B in the event of failure. Make sure you've got your A-Game together, aim for success, and make sure you've made room for manifestation of that success. YOU determine what success is to you. Write out what matters most (plan your work). Next, write out how to make what matters most a reality (work your plan). There's nothing wrong with dreaming big, just remember that when you wake up, you still can't take more than one step at a time. Sprints (inspiration) are nice, but you need the endurance of a cross-country runner (commitment) to win. I hope to see you in the winners' circle.

Here's the thing... Blessed be ME!

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 14:13:00 +0000

Today's post is an homage to two of my dear friends & fellow bloggers - Jackie & Kenya. Jackie's daily ABC posts provide an interesting, enlightening, and quite often entertaining, glimpse into her world. I've known Kenya since high school, but only recently learned of her passion for writing. She is witty as well as talented. She is also a newly published author. If you haven't had a Christopherism enter your life, start with her blog and you'll understand why you NEED your own copy of The Christopher Chronicles.

NOTE: I decided to do this post prior to Jackie posting today's entry on her blog. Imagine my chuckle when I read, "too pooped to blog - that is all: )" As I reflect on my list for the week, I've decided to add a few things from her's mixed in as well✿◕‿◕✿

Abundantly blessed
Biscotti (Little known fact: This is the plural of "biscuit" - NOT!)
Carrie N., Carrie H. & Cary, NC (All in one day!)
Disappointment Christopher-style: "The coach had one disappointment with me. He thought I was looking at the cheerleaders, but I just had one eye on them."
Effervesce (It's what I do.)
Finally checked my mailbox
Glasses lost (And still not found.)
H2H (Semper Fi, Gunny!)
Incorrigible ☚ What I am, according to my sister, the Bionic Woman. LOL!
Joyful & joy-filled ☚ How I choose to live & be!
Kevin trapped in an elevator (iChuckled!)
Love is no less love just because it isn't romantic love. ~Munchkin (a.k.a. Ayonna, Easy's Mom)
Malice in Wonderland
New blog background (Love it♥)
Oprah's Lifeclass Journal arrived
PRAXIS
Quiet time
Rest
Sissy/Sista
Thankful my mom is healing well after surgeryღ
Undeniable favor of God
Virginia (Stop laughing, Jackie!!!)
Writing IS cathartic. "I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die." ~Isaac Asimov
Xylophone (Umm yeah... This had absolutely nothing to do with my life last week, but you try coming up with something that begins with the letter "X" - not so easy. For enduring the cop-out on this letter, here's an INCREDIBLY IMPRESSIVE video featuring a xylophone that you have to watch to believe.)
Yurith - My big brother who decided to work on (and need help with) his resume on the ONE NIGHT his insomniac of a sister was able to go to sleep early.
Zoe & Stan - enduring one to spend time with the other;-)

Here's the thing... Telling my week from A to Z was not as easy as I thought it would be, but it was a lot of fun.

Will you rise or retreat?

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 22:38:00 +0000

Photo Credit

"To climb steep hills requires slow pace at first." ~William Shakespeare

While enjoying a walk one afternoon, two friends come upon a steep hill. They stand in silence for a few moments, both looking at the hill. They look at each other, shrug their shoulders and continue on with their journey. Much to each others surprise, one of them starts up the hill, while the other turns around and heads back in the direction they came from earlier.

What happened in the brief time spent at the foot of that steep hill? How is that two people started out together and took such divergent paths? What lessons can we learn from this?

The friend who decided to climb the hill took the time to assess the situation in light of his abilities. What he knew about himself was enough for him to know that he could do it, it was worth the effort, or at the very least, he was willing to test his limits... even if it meant having to do so at a slower pace.

Why had the other friend turned around, as opposed to continuing moving forward? Could it have been laziness? Did he lack faith in his ability to make it up the steep incline? We may never know. The only thing we know for certain is that given the opportunity, he didn't even try.

How many times in life have you aligned yourself with someone thinking that you shared a common belief, only to find out later that was not the case? One of you is ready to take a chance and possibly move into a higher position, while the other wants to play it safe and stick with the status quo. There is usually an element of surprise in such moments of discovery, but there shouldn't be any hard feelings. Shrug it off and keep climbing. Sometimes the best vantage point from which to see the big picture is from above.

© 2011 Antoinette Dickson.

the [r]evolution

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 06:08:00 +0000

If the poem's first line is unfamiliar, click the picture above.

Gil warned us: "The revolution will not be televised."

instead it is being
texted
downloaded
tweeted
engaged with distractions
by the enemy

being defeated
greedily seeking more
common sense
depleted
education
abandoned
in a quest
to pass a test
a test on which
they can't read
well enough to find
the answer or the truth
that could set them free
so blindly they wander
in an academic darkness
unable to even obtain a GED

this systemic infiltration
spreading pandemically
across the nation
sweeping from generation
to generation
as the [r]evolution
in its current evolution
slowly begins
grinding to a halt.

Copyright Antoinette Dickson. Creative Commons License Allowed with permission.

you know the people i'm talking about... [a poetic vent]

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 05:19:00 +0000

some people are funny

but they don't make me laugh

it's more that they are a joke

or they think i'm one

you know the people i'm talking about...

the people who claim

to support you

but never do more

than pay you lip service

to your face

you promote their endeavors

but you can't get

so much as a "like"

from them

you know the people i'm talking about...

the guy who thinks the world of you

who turns around

and acts like

you're not of this world

let alone in his

you know the people i'm talking about...

the ones you hear from

when things are going their way

or they have something to say

but when they're done

they're gone

so what should be

the mid-point

of your conversation

has now become the end,

until next they need to talk again

you know the people i'm talking about...

those who say

you're too sensitive

when you take a stand for what is right

those who talk behind your back

when you don't go along with them

because you know they're wrong

you know the people i'm talking about...

those who claim to be your friends

but in reality

you have a better relationship with your enemies

at least you know where your enemy stands

if somehow you've made it this far

and haven't gotten a clue,

you know the people i'm talking about...

'cause i'm talking about YOU!

Original source of image unknown; Google image search results inconclusive on origin.

good morning, muse

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 09:54:00 +0000

good morning, muse

you who wake me

with the promise

of your love

you who greet me

with a butterfly kiss

to my soul

you who for me

would do anything

you who to me

are everything

lover of my mind,

body and soul,

for whom i can

bear the stares...

because of whom,

i have no cares

good morning, muse

thank you for joining

my journey today

for granting me solace

as i pass along this way

thank you...

for being

and loving

for caring

and giving

for making

my day

good morning, muse

through whom

my most treasured blessings

have flowed

you who have given me

the second greatest love

that i have ever known

in giving me you,

God granted me

more than i was due

so with the dawn of this new day,

i give myself to you.

good morning, muse.

my muse.

my love.

[I am] Guilty as charged...

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 03:43:00 +0000

it was my hand

that guided the knife

he used to take my life.

it was my choice

to ignore the voice

that warned me

of impending danger.

what was i thinking?

surely, i knew him;

he was no stranger.

it was i who gave him

every instrument he needed

and made sure he knew

how to use every single one...

How often have you inadvertently killed your own dreams and sought to blame it on another? How many times have you allowed fear and feelings of inadequacy to keep you from finding your purpose and/or pursuing your passion? For most, the answer is more times than you can count. What is it going to take to rehabilitate your thinking and get you to understand that nothing and no one can hinder you more than you hinder yourself? It's not your past that has you trapped, but rather your inability to let it go.

For those afraid of the unknown, the best way to overcome that fear is to educate yourself. Why? Because fear is rooted in ignorance, and ignorance and fear have a symbiotic relationship. Eradicate ignorance by applying knowledge and fear disappear almost instantly. Allow ignorance to fester unaddressed without treatment and you will bear scars from actions taken in fear.

As always, the choice is yours. When you say, "I'm scared," you're telling the world that you're ignorant of the truth and you're not willing to do anything about it. It's time to change your message... and your life.

Be in it to win it!

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 23:22:00 +0000

Image: Relay Race II Art Print by Alfred Gockel

Runners in a relay race all have a different starting point. With 2012 on our doorstep, let's not go so far back into 2011 that we start the new year trying to catch up. Wherever you are in your journey, let that be your benchmark (or starting point) for the next leg of the journey. Consider yourself already in it to win it & let your focus be on the best way to do just that... WIN!

r.a.n.d.o.m.

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 01:29:00 +0000

somewhere...
deep in my heart lies
remnants of a love,
hidden behind
years of pain
and disappointment.

left unattended
and unrequited...

forced
to exist
on fumes
[of hope]
rather than simply
give up
[or in]
and die.

my life,
like my thoughts,
allows me
to be
somewhere
R A N D O M...

Raging
Against [the]
Near
Domination
Of
Myself...

AND WINNING!

i can do better than this

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 00:24:00 +0000

tears fall as i think

faster than i can speak

far more than you can comprehend

they tell you what i'm feeling

words bombard my mind

detained & choked in my throat

they deny you the truth of what i'm feeling

you offer words of comfort

[actually thinking]

that i'm listening

[as you are speaking]

failing miserably [yet again]

to comprehend

that from you,

nothing am i feeling

no sincerity

no understanding

no remorse

leaving me no recourse

but to hold it in

and to hold it down

while i try to hold it up

until you come around...

so i wait

in wonder

and wander

as i wait...

as tears fall, i think...

i don't have time

for this

or you.

A State of Readiness (Ottava Rima style)

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 15:31:00 +0000

When the seasons change, in silence I wait.
Not knowing what to expect, I ponder,
Wishing I had more time to contemplate.
As time passes, I begin to wonder
My past’s true impact on my present state.
Memories engage and I grow fonder…
Excited by the possibilities,
I embrace all my opportunities.

Sticks and Stones

noreply@blogger.com (SerenSojo71 (Antoinette Dickson)) — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 12:03:00 +0000

Penned in honor of the memory of Jasmine McClain who, on November 14, 2011, at the tender age of 10yrs old, hung herself. How desperate did this baby have to be to seek solace through death?

Sticks and stones

may break my bones,

but I prefer them

to your words,

which continue

to haunt me.

It is a lie that words

will never hurt me,

for every night,

it is those words

which taunt me.

Stressed.

Depressed.

The value

of my life,

I ponder.

Unprotected.

Undetected.

Into a private hell,

I wander.

When I am gone,

when this is done,

will they remember me?

I wonder.