A Series of Events

Break The Silence

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Thu, 03 Jul 2014 05:12:00 +0000

Tonight I feel like sharing something personal. My motivation in writing this confessional would be to start the healing process, and to share our story so that if I can help just one person reach out and ask for help, then they too, can start to heal.

Some of you know the story, but for many of you, this will be new. In 2008, I received a phone call that would change my family's life forever. Two of my nieces had told their parents (my brother and my sister) that my mother's husband had molested them. At the time, it was suggested that I take my children in to be questioned by a detective to see if either of them had been molested.

As my head spun, I had a really hard time wrapping my head around everything. Both of my children, who were 9 and 16 years old at the time, denied any molestation by my stepfather. I had never heard of any accusation against my stepfather at the time, so it was real hard to believe. He was a stand up guy. Someone who was always there for you. Willing to help us financially, and emotionally. But my nieces were positive that he molested them. I figured if a 68 year old man had a history of accusations, then he was probably guilty. If there were no other accusations, then it was possible that the children were confused. I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

I made one phone call. Just one, and found out that 3 other people have accused him over the years of molesting them. But nobody believed them. How is that possible? 3 different kids, all spoke up and nobody believed them. They struggled, and continue to struggle in life. Substance abuse, depression, anxiety and fear have all but damaged these people for the rest of their lives. However, because of those behaviors, when they did decide to speak up, Nobody believed them . They believed the molester because he was a good person, a good citizen and would "give you the shirt off his back" if you needed it. People believed him because he was a pillar of success, paid for so many things and helped so many people. And these kids, who are adults now, lost their way in life and were discarded because they could not cope with what he did to them.

Going through 2008 & 2009 was very difficult. My mother took her husbands' side and devoted her every waking moment to his defense. We (her 4 kids) rallied around our children and defended them. We believed them and so did the DA. This case tore our family apart. In the end, Thornton A. Gillis was found guilty on multiple counts of child sexual abuse. He was sentenced to 2 consecutive terms of 15 years to life. For a 69 year old man, this was a death sentence.

If you want to read about it, click here:
http://www.leagle.com/decision/In%20CACO%2020110706012

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:y6Ve8JLPsRAJ:www.vcstar.com/news/2010/may/13/moorpark-man-69-sentenced-30-years-to-life-for/%3Fprint%3D1+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a

On March 27, 2014 we were supposed to go back to court. My mother was petitioning for his release because he was on his death bed. The original DA and Judge were both coming back for this case because they knew how dangerous this man really is. They did not want him to get out. They really wanted overall justice for these kids. As my sister sat in an airport terminal, ready to board her plane to fly to California for the day, she received a phone call from the DA. Thornton (Gil) had passed away during the evening, in jail, where he belongs.

Finally, my nieces were able to sleep through the night. There were no nightmares to accompany them that night. No sleep aides were needed either. It was the first time in years, these girls have actually had a peaceful night of sleep. That was also a defining moment in my house.

You see, my 15 year old daughter, has been struggling with severe depression, impulse control disorder caused by trauma. For the last 6 or 7 years, my daughter has been slowly slipping away. Falling deeper into a dark hole. I constantly asked her if she was ever touched by him, and she would say no. I knew she struggled with rejection. Anytime she had "boy" issues, she would cut herself. She would self medicate with marijuana on occasion (she has been busted a few times by me). I chalked it up to her feeling so sad that my mom sold our house and we had to move. Or she was sad that she no longer had a relationship with her Grammy. That wasn't it.

A few weeks ago, my daughter came forward. Thornton Gillis also molested my daughter. She held on to her secret for so long, even after all the questioning, trial and everything. The reason she didn't say anything was because he told her, after touching her, that she shouldn't tell Grammy. Grammy would get very mad at her. My daughter is very compliant and would never want to upset her Grammy. Of course when Grammy found out about the other kids, she did get mad. She didn't question the kids, or stand by her children and grandchildren. She accused everyone of wanting to break up her marriage. My daughter saw this unfold and it sent her into her own private hell. My daughter told me that she was scared that if she did tell, he would come after her and hurt her. She also feared that Grammy would hate her or hurt her too.

What constitutes bullying or intimidation? My daughter was intimidated into silence, not only by this child molester, but by her own grandmother. There I said it. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's a crime. My daughter has been in emotional pain for far too long. She feared losing her relationship with her Grammy so much that she did not tell. You have no idea how angry this makes me. We will not be able to face him in court. We will not get justice for his crime. We will not be able to confront him or to shake my mother awake.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_manipulation

Instead, we will heal. We will take each day as it comes. We will live our lives and revel in each new milestone. We will overcome this pain. We will fight to be as normal as we can be. We will go to therapy and find tools to help us. We have each other. I believe her. I love her. I stand by her. She does not have to travel this road alone.

I will not allow anyone to glorify Thornton's life. They need to know exactly who he is. He may be perceived as a great man, but he wasn't. He had many secrets, and unfortunately, in order to keep us kids in our own private prison (another form of psychological manipulation), he took his secret to the grave.

Again, I write this in hopes that for at least one person out there, you will see this and break the silence. Please tell someone if you have been hurt, bullied, molested, or whatever. You need to speak up and use your voice. It's the one true weapon you have.

Where has country music gone?

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 01:50:00 +0000

Several years ago, listening to Top 40 music, I began to notice that most of the songs I was listening to sounded the same. The songs had the same subject matter. It all seemed artificial. I switched to a new genre of music, or shall I say, switched back to my roots, country music.

I found the songs new, refreshing, and easy to listen to. I loved the story in the songs. I listened with anticipation and found myself wrapped in the arms of the lyrics. I appreciated how special and unique country music was.

As I listen to country music these days, all that made it special and unique, is gone. I feel as though I am listening to pop, rap, or rock music. I really don't want to listen to those genres of music. If I did, I could push a button, change the station, and listen to those genres. It's invading everything I am listening to, and I am not a happy fan!

I listen to 80's and 90's country on XM radio. Last weekend, my favorite station, was polluting the air waves with rock and roll classics thrown into the mix. If I wanted to hear Tom Petty, The Eagles, The Beatles, etc., I would tune into one of those stations.

I get frustrated with that, so I plug my iPhone into my car and play Pandora. As I'm listening to one of my stations (I think it was Little Big Town), Brown Eyed Girl comes on. I hit the "next" button. Then comes Clarence Clearwater with some song. Are you freakin' kidding me? I switched stations. Eric Church was my choice. I listen to a few songs and then "Stand By Me" comes on. Granted, all the songs are good, but I'm totally frustrated because I clearly want country music and I'm getting rock classics. Ugh!!

I switch to the radio. What do I hear? Carrie Underpants singing "Two Black Cadillacs". Switch stations....Jason Aldean's "1994". Banging my head against the steering wheel out of total frustration, I finally grab my Von Cotton CD and put it on.

Is it just me? Has country music become so polluted these days that we don't recognize that we are listening to crap? I realize that music has to evolve, but come on! This watered down version of country music is ridiculous. I would love to hear someone new that can actually have the courage to make country music, the way it is intended.

I am over Taylor Swift and her botching every award show she is on. I am tired of hearing her childish crap on the radio. I am finally done buying anything Jason Aldean makes. I'm really over him rapping. I am becoming irritated with Keith Urban and his electric guitar. Kenny Chesney needs to stop singing about the beach, beer and women (anyone notice more than half his songs are about that?). Tim McGraw should never ever sell out with Taylor Swift again. Carrie Underpants should make the move to pop music.

I want to hear the steel guitar, a banjo, a harmonica. I want to hear some twang. I want to hear more from Jamie Johnson, George Straight, Eric Church (who's pushing the rock envelope - please stop) and the like. Bring back what was unique and special about country music. Bring me back to a time when it felt good to purchase a new album and memorize every song. I can't even think of the last album I bought, it was so long ago. I like listening to the older stuff, but I know all those songs and I'd love to have something new to fall in love with.

If you feel the same way, pass this along, tell your friends and let's do something about it!!

An open letter to Dottie Sandusky and women like her...

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Fri, 26 Oct 2012 03:00:00 +0000

I just read an article about Jerry Sandusky's wife, Dottie, writing a defiant letter to the judge before the Sandusky sentencing, attacking the victims motives, expressing her loss of faith in the judicial system and insisting he isn't a child molester.

"Dottie Sandusky wrote July 9 that she never saw her husband do anything inappropriate to any child, a statement that echoed her trial testimony. She was deeply critical of her son Matt Sandusky, who had been expected to be a defense witness until the trial, when he claimed to investigators he also had been abused by Jerry Sandusky."

Matt Sandusky has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, "but he refuses to take his medication," she wrote. "He has had many run-ins with the law and stolen money and items from our family."

Do all women whose husbands have been convicted of child molestation, jump to this defense? Is there a manual somewhere that has this strategy written down, verbatim? It's becoming the classic defense for these women. They are blaming the victims of conspiracy. The judicial system of failing to work. And claiming that their husband's are not child molesters. Ladies, you need to get in touch with reality!

Child sexual abuse is nothing new. In fact, it's been going on for decades. One of the reasons we are hearing so much about it over the last several years is because there are so many brave men and women, boys and girls, coming forward. When they come forward, it takes a level of courage and strength to confront their abuser. Since they have continued to come forward, we have learned more about this very sick secret, haunting so many people all over the world. We have, as a society, convicted more and more people of child sexual abuse.

In doing research over the last several years, I have learned a lot. I am no psychologist, but the facts are out there for us to learn. The most astounding fact that I learned is this:

If a person is accused of child sexual abuse, has more than one victim and a history of accusations, they are 100% guilty of the crime. There are no other exceptions, excuses, or reasons. They are guilty. Period.

I think we as a society, clearly understand that. But for the women that love and are married to the offender, it becomes a very blurred line. I believe they have a hard time wrapping their mind around the man that they know and love, and the monster he's accused, and often times, convicted, of being. It must be difficult for women like Dottie Sandusky to separate the man she knows, loves and spent her life with, and come to terms with the fact that he was all those things AND that he is a child molester.

A person can be many things, including putting on one hat to fill a role, and putting on another hat to fill another. Each one of us do it every day. We go to work as one person, and come home to become our natural selves. It's not that far fetched to believe that he did just that.

She says she "never saw him do anything inappropriate to children". Of course she never saw him doing anything inappropriate with children, because he would never allow her to see anything. That's what child molesters do. They keep it very hidden from anyone, except the victim. The victim knows exactly what the child molester is capable of doing. For Dottie or any other woman who supports the child molester, to suggest that the victim is lying, is ridiculous. The only person lying in the scenario, is in fact, the child molester. They've been doing it successfully for years. Plus, they don't see themselves as monsters. They think they are loving the child. It's sick and twisted, but true.

Sadly, my mother is one of these women. Conspiracy theories, victims motives, loss of faith in the judicial system, victims lying, and the whole "my husband is innocent" thing, is the script that she followed. I believe that these offenders, often times, manipulate their wives into thinking these things, because it is the only defense they have. Rather than taking responsibility for their actions and really getting the help that they need, they rip families apart and make their wives look like idiots.

In the end, the wife will be the only connection to the outside world that they have, when the rest of the world sees the child molester for exactly what he is.....a monster! I suppose that's motive enough to keep her in the world of denial, conspiracy theories, purple dinosaurs and make believe. And while these women trot off to their weekly visit at the state penitentiary, the rest of us are doing damage control, picking up the pieces of the lives that have been broken.

I hope women in the future will listen to the children (even adults who now have the courage to come forward) and understand that these men are not innocent. They are working you harder than a Presidential Candidate. They want your vote, your support, when everyone else will turn their back. Don't be that person who turns their back on the victim. No matter how betrayed you feel, never turn your back on the victim.

Homecoming or NO Homecoming, that is the question....

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Sat, 06 Oct 2012 14:36:00 +0000

Parenting is never easy. I am faced with a decision today. Do I let me daughter go to Homecoming tonight, or do I make her stay home?

She is 14 years old, but has been pushing boundaries. She is currently serving time (grounded) for poor choices she has made lately. The crime was so severe, that it was necessary to give her many consequences and keep her in her cell (room) without current technology, that ability to communicate to the outside world, or have any fun, what-so-ever.

However, I am faced with the decision to allow her to go to Homecoming. She didn't ask to go. She figured that she was grounded and that was that. But as I listened to the Homecoming football game last night from my bedroom window, I started feeling bad.

I began questioning whether I was providing a punishment that fit the crime, or if I was being overly strict to avoid a repeat offense. Should I drop her off, allowing her a few hours to experience her first Homecoming, and then pick her up? Or should I make her stay home and suck it up, hoping she will learn something from sitting in her room starring at the ceiling all night?

If it were me, and it has been to a degree, I would have appreciated my mother allowing me to go, with limits. I would have appreciated being allowed to experience the Homecoming thing, rather than resent my mother for making me sit in my room all night, while I learned absolutely nothing from the experience. Let's face it, teenagers are self absorbed creatures.

What do you all think? Should I make her sit at home, or go with limits?

A Kirby, an Altima and Monte

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 20:20:00 +0000

This summer, we took a big leap forward. We enjoyed the kids, the long summer days, the warmth of the sun, county fairs and country concerts. Our commitment to each other and our family intensified when I received a text from my daughter one afternoon.

Lala: "Are you home?"
Me: "No, not yet."
Lala: "Oh okay, cuz (teenager speak) I was gonna ask who's here.. Cuz there's some chick here ._."
Me: "Well, go see who it is."
Lala: "Well, I looked through my door & I think she's vacuuming or something & she's African American with a bunch of dreadlocks."
Me: "Maybe she's trying to sell something."
Lala: "Yeah, sounds like it. But idk ('I don't know' - more teenager speak)
Lala: "Yeah she was giving a demo & and a vacuum. What time will you be back home?"

Exactly two seconds later, Billy texts me (don't they know I'm driving, for Heaven's sake?).

Billy: "When will you be home?"
Me: "10 minutes"
Billy: "There are people here from Kirby giving me a demonstration and I want you to see this. We'll wait for you."
Me: "Ok"

That's when I knew we were going to purchase a Kirby. Which, by the way, is the BEST vacuum I have ever used. Two hours later, and now very late for the county fair, we were committed to a vacuum that does everything, including unclogging sinks! Hallelujah!!

Then a week and a half later, I am on the hunt for a new car. One with better gas mileage, since I put on about 1000 miles a week. Yes, a week. That equates to about $850 in gasoline every month. Plus with 238,000 miles on my former car, I was taking a gamble on whether the car would continue to run, or simply break down. It was time to trade it in.

I found the best car for my needs. A 2013 Nissan Altima, which averages between 33 and 38 miles per gallon. I love my new car and all the money it is saving me in gasoline.

New car + lower fuel costs + new Kirby = $75 savings each month! My family is now safe AND clean! Whoo-hoo!

The kids have been begging us for a dog. Not a fish or hamster. A dog. It was way too hard to have an animal with a new baby, but now that she is moving into the toddler stage, we could revisit the idea of a pet.

We told the kids that once we moved to a bigger home, with a backyard, we would consider having a dog. We felt that it would be fair to the dog, if he/she had more room to run around. However, one post on Facebook, and we completely changed our minds.

We adopted Monte, a male Shitzhu, and welcomed him into our family. He truly is the BEST dog. The kids absolutely love him!! Monte loves the kids. But he is a mama's boy at heart. He follows me everywhere, sleeps under my bed, on my side of it, comes to work with me, and has developed the kids' habit of barging into the bathroom when I am using it. Yes, he fits right in!

Monte does a have a problem trusting men, so his relationship with Billy is still developing. I suggested that Billy hand feed him at least once a day, to help gain trust. I meant, dog food, but Billy thinks Monte will take to him better if he feeds him chicken and steak. I think it's a great idea for bonding, but we may have developed a bit of a food snob.

He's calm, potty trained (the best part) and he doesn't bark. I know, weird, right? He's only barked one time in the last week, and that was because another dog was sniffing a little too close to his parts. He didn't really like that and made himself clear.

All in all, we've been "moving on up". The kids are good, we are good and most certainly, life is good!!

County Fairs and Country Concerts

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Mon, 20 Aug 2012 01:26:00 +0000

Each summer, Billy and I look forward to the County Fairs. It's kind of our "thing". We go, we dance, we watch a concert, and we eat fair food. Not necessarily in that order.

This year we kicked off summer with the Santa Barbara State Fair, in Santa Maria. We absolutely loved this fair when we went a few years ago, and saw Little Big Town. We had so much fun, we were laughing and giggling all the way over to the BBQ stand. The employees working that night, decided to poke a little fun at our expense, and challenged us to dance for them. An Eric Church song was playing on the radio, and we were more than happy to oblige. They were so shocked we could actually dance, they gave us free food. That night, we danced for pulled pork sandwiches!

This year, we brought our new sidekicks with us. Kristin (Belle's Mom) and Chris (her boyfriend) are the perfect "fair-mates"! We all met up to watch Sawyer Brown in concert. We had such a good time singing, dancing and convincing Kristin to ride the Ferris Wheel with us. Her only request was that we NOT rock the "bucket" we were in. Of course, we ROCKED it as hard as we could!

We had such a great time at that fair, that Chris and Kristin wanted to go with us to see Eric Church the following week at the Mid State Fair, in Paso Robles. This fair is a bit of a drive, so we all stayed overnight....in the same room! The pre-concert tailgating began in the "church" parking lot (go figure) and ended with second row seats at the concert! We all had a blast, singing, screaming, and acting like idiots. We ended the evening dancing at some really crowded bar (at the fair). Definitely good times, with great people.

When we got back to the hotel room, Chris and Billy decided it was a good idea to have a "chicken leg" duel and battled to the end..... It's truly a miracle we actually went to sleep that night, considering the boys can get a little rowdy.

Flash forward a few weeks, and we all went to the Ventura County Fair to see Martina McBride. The boys are always entertaining. Chris wanted something fried, and settled with a fried Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. He got this long roll of paper towel/toilet paper with his order. Billy decided that Chris should put it on his boot and walk around the fair, cocky and cowboy like. OH MY GOSH, I can't remember laughing that hard, ever! The looks people were giving him were so funny!!

Child-like antics, good music, fair food, and the company of great people is the recipe to feeling young again. We look forward to the next concert in November with our sidekicks! We'll be in the pit for another Eric Church concert. Lord help those surrounding us....

Day Trippers....Lincoln, Nebraska

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 14:55:00 +0000

While we were in Nebraska, Billy and I took a day trip to Lincoln. On our way out of town, Billy was the ultimate tour guide, showing me all the places he went to when he grew up. I saw his schools, and the numerous fields he played at while involved in youth sports. The town is charming. Old buildings, small businesses, all lined up on the inside while corn fields dust the outskirts. I've never seen anything like it. I appreciated it's simple beauty.

As we made our way to Lincoln, we talked about everything. From my vantage point, I relived Billy's youth through his memories, his joy and his stories. For me, part of the fun is watching his excitement. He planned to show me the University, get a bite to eat, and then dance at the first place he learned to dance.

We checked out the University, driving around, trying to find something that might be open. Nothing was. Instead, he showed me the building he lived at while attending the University. We took this picture to journal our time.

I asked Billy where he wanted to eat. He used to eat at a little diner off the highway while he studied at night. He wanted to take me there. I was a bit skeptical, but decided to keep an open mind. This day trip was intended to be a trip down memory lane, so I went along for the ride.

As we passed a prison, yes, I said prison - the inmates were all outside, by the way - Billy pointed out the diner a few hundred yards up the road. I was pretty excited to actually be entering a good old fashioned diner. It didn't disappoint. The food was fabulous and cheap! But the atmosphere was something out of "Mel's Diner" and I understood why he wanted to take me here.

After dinner, we went dancing. We were so excited to get out, on our own and dance! Unfortunately, it didn't quite turn out the way we envisioned. Over the last several years, line dancers have been taking over the place. The ratio of line dancers to two-steppers was overwhelming. We did have fun for a while until you just couldn't move around the floor any longer. However, I was still with my man, enjoying the adventures of the day, and nothing could change that.

Life always seems to be an adventure with Billy. We are exploring the world around us. Creating new memories, enjoying the journey and building a life together. Life is most certainly, good!!

Nerium AD Real Results

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 06:30:00 +0000

After seeing what Nerium AD has done for my skin, I have made the decision to start my own business with it. The reason I decided to do it was because this goes hand in hand with what I do for a living. Helping people lose weight, means that I get to help them feel better about themselves. Since the skin is the biggest organ on our body, this is one way to undo some of the damage we have done to it over time.

The first thing I noticed when I used Nerium, was that my skin was softer. Then I started noticing that it looked smoother. I really started noticing the difference when I wore make up. My skin just looked fresher, smoother and silkier. Once I compared my before and 12 day later photos, I was a complete believer!

Here are some results (note that my sister and I are both "putting it out there" - real people, not models)

As you can see, this product works really, really well. I have never seen anything like this before in my life. The key to recognizing the difference is taking the before picture. I just got off the phone with my sister. She told me that she didn't really notice a difference visually because she sees herself everyday. But when she finished the first week, she took her pictures. She was amazed at the difference in her skin after 1 week! In fact, she said had she not taken the photos, she wouldn't have noticed it right away.

I'm so impressed with the woman in the first picture. I hope that after 5 months on the product, I will have dramatic results like that! I think I'm still 20-something, and I'm hoping to look like it in 5 months!!

But the most important change I notice is that my skin looks and feels healthier. It glows, actually! The thing that irritates me though, is that men are seeing dramatic change too. Sometimes faster than women! Crazy! They lose weight faster too ladies.....oh, to be a man!

If you would like to try it for yourself and see the difference, just send me a message and I'll put you on my waiting list or mail you a sample for 5 days. If you would like to learn more, you can visit my website at www.cindyblackwell.nerium.com and check everything out.

Here's to removing the last 5 or 10 years of damage to our skin! Cheers!

Jane's Surprise

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 05:30:00 +0000

I can't even remember the last time I had an opportunity to sit down and write a blog. We have been all over the place since our trip to Wisconsin.

We decided, on the trip back from Wisconsin, as the plane touched down in LA, that we would fly back to Nebraska for Billy's Mom's birthday at the beginning of July. I couldn't believe that I was agreeing to do that, since the trip out to Wisconsin was the ultimate family adventure!

Four week later, we were heading out again, kids in tow. We were pretty excited. Knowing his Mom didn't have a clue that we were on our way to see her, made it all the more fun! Just a few day before, she and I had a conversation on the phone that had me giggling.

Jane - "As I strolled through the airport the other day, I realized how challenging it is to be in an airport. And I thought 'Billy and Cindy did this with two young kids and had a heck of a time!'"

Me - "Yes, it was a challenge, that's for sure!" (Inside I was thinking - Oh boy, my crazy ass is about to do it all over again in three days!! Hehe, she has no clue and we'll laugh about it this weekend!!)

When we arrived, the weather was unusually sweltering. It was 104 degrees with the humidity so thick, you could slice through it with a knife. Billy started his five day rant about how hot it was, as if I didn't notice the sweat trickling down my back.

We were going to surprise her the next morning over breakfast, but decided to wait for Matt, Billy's brother to arrive in a few hours and surprise her that evening. Once Matt arrived, we headed over to their house.We figured if we sent Belle to the front door, she would be thrown off, wondering why there was a little girl that looks like her granddaughter, standing at her doorstep.

As Belle positioned herself on the front porch, we all giggled silently, waiting for the Big Reveal. Belle tried ringing the doorbell, but didn't push it hard enough. We thought it was broken so we asked her to knock hard on the door. Inside, Jane was relaxing, doing a crossword puzzle, and didn't hear the knock. Billy's dad, Bill, yells down at her to answer the door. Annoyed, she gets up swearing she never heard anyone at the door, opens it, only to find Belle standing there! Belle shouts, "Surprise!" and we all come out from the side of the house.

The shock, confusion and happiness on her face, was well worth the effort! She was so surprised and delighted that we were all there, for her, and with her on her birthday. When we looked at each other after the shock kind of wore off, we started laughing about our conversation a few days earlier. This time though, the flight over was easy. No issues at all.

We had a great time fishing, playing games, relaxing, cooking, talking and generally just being together. Family time is important and we don't take it for granted. Laughter is the best medicine, and in this family, there are plenty of laughs!

I suppose this gives us confidence that we can , in fact, pull off a good surprise. You never know what we will plan for the next adventure. We might even end up on your doorstep, with all of us in tow! Muahahahaha......

Nerium AD - My Results

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 07:12:00 +0000

A client of mine called me a few weeks ago, and asked me if I have ever heard of a night cream called Nerium AD. I hadn't heard anything about it. Have any of you?

She gave me some background about the product, and some of the results people are seeing. She offered to let me try it for 5 days, and allow the product to speak for itself. I didn't think I had anything to lose. In fact, I thought it would be good to log any results I may get, so that I could blog about it.

Day 1:
I took my "before" photo.
Holy hell, does my face really look like that?
I applied the night cream to my damp face.
Okay, it smells kind of weird, and it's a bit tacky in texture, but whatever.

Day 2:
I woke up, and could see that the night cream was hard at work last night. My skin was smoother, and softer than I can remember it feeling, and the dark spot on my forehead is significantly lighter. Cool!

Day 3:
I don't notice the smell of the cream anymore. I must be getting used to it. The red spots around my nose are gone. GONE! I forgot to mention that I was applying the cream to the tops of my hands, and the dark spots and freckles are GONE. Whoa!!

Day 4:
I'm noticing the deeper lines or wrinkles, if you will, on my forehead are softening. The dark spots are definitely lightening. I'm starting to become a believer.

Day 5:
My skin feels firmer, smoother and definitely softer. I no longer need to use concealer for the dark spots, which is a complete miracle! My hands look younger. I don't want to have to depart with this product! I feel like I found the "fountain of youth in a bottle".

Day 1

I didn't really have high expectations when I agreed to try the product. In fact, I was a bit negative about trying it. Once I did, I was absolutely impressed with the results I received in such a short period of time! I began learning more about the product. Here is the "nutshell" version:

"While researching the potential uses of the Nerium oleander plant for skin cancer treatments - the plant was previously considered little more than an ornamental plant - the scientists involved at Nerium Biotech discovered the plant's extracts delivered remarkable age-defying results when applied to the skin."


Day 5

I did more research. I checked on line to see what people are saying about the product. People are praising the product, and the results they are getting from it! Surely, there had to be something wrong. Some catch. Nope. Nothing.

So here I am, your friend, family member, acquaintance, or trainer, giving you my feedback on the product. I tried it. It worked better than any other product I have ever used. In fact, I may just have to become a Brand Partner and start a little side business. I only get behind something I truly believe in, believe it will help others, and is a quality product.

Here are some before/after photo's. I recently met the man in the photo below. His results are real.

** Update: I believe in the product so much that I have become a Brand Partner! If you would like more information please log on to www.cindyblackwell.nerium.com or order your product. You can also read my follow up blog "Nerium AD Real Results" for more photos.

Just Roll With It.....

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 16:39:00 +0000

Yesterday, we celebrated Billy's birthday. Originally, he wanted to play golf all day because he could play for free on his birthday. OK. Fine. Whatever. I have to work anyway, and I figured we could do something later in the evening. No big deal. It would allow me plenty of time to get a gift for him, since I have failed to find anything for him (aren't all men hard to shop for?).

He had another idea for the day. He asked if I wanted to go out later and dance! Music to my ears!! As I drove home, excited to spend some quality "date" time with my guy, my phone rings.

Billy: "Hey, how's your day going?"
Me: "It's been a tough afternoon. I'm emotionally spent. How are you?"
Billy: "I'm good! Is it okay if I play golf?"
Me: "Of course! It's your birthday. Do what you would like to do (I'm thinking about the five hours I will have to get a nap, wash my car, and find a gift for him)!"
Billy: "Hey, I want to go to The Cowboy Palace tonight. Is that okay with you?"
Me: What came out of my mouth was, "Sure! Your birthday, you decide." What was going on in my head was, "Ohhhhh Fuuuuuuuuudddddggggggeeeeee!!"

The Cowboy Palace is a great LITTLE honky tonk in the Valley. They have live music every night, lots of energy, and no cover charge. If you've never been there, that was the "bar" in Toby Keith's video "I Love This Bar", and was also featured in an episode of CSI. It's a great place to go when it's not busy. Billy has been there once with me, but I have been there several times. I was a frequent dancer there on Friday nights, during my single days. When it's busy, it's a nightmare. I had to prepare myself for the nightmare!

We take off for the evening. The time I really look forward to, is the time in the car, talking, while we drive to our destination. We have really good conversations when we're in the car. I can't figure out why that is, but it happens every time. I will tell you, that I was not really in the mood to go "dance" in this closet of a place, on a Saturday night. However, Billy was really looking forward to it. Part of his charm, to me, is his excitement over things. The more excited he becomes, the easier it is for me to let go of the preconceived thoughts I have.

We got a few good dances in before the band started, and the place started filling up. Pretty soon though, it was wall to wall people. We rolled with it. We threw out our dancing technique, just bounced around, in place, a lot, and had a fabulous time! We goofed off a lot, and laughed a lot. The band was great! When they played "Stand By Me", he pulled me close, and together, dancing cheek to cheek, I was reminded in that moment, that we have stood by each other over the last several years. He is my best friend. My lover. My partner.

We drove home, his arm around my shoulder, most of the way back. We talked, listened to music, sang off key, and discussed the upcoming concerts we are going to this summer. I realized that sometimes, I just have to "roll with it" and not be so closed off. It was a good reminder, that with my best friend, we have fun anywhere. Like the dancing itself, following his lead, takes a little practice. I'm still learning to relinquish some control, and just follow.

It was an imperfectly, perfect day.

When do you "let go"?

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 16:11:00 +0000

I'm a work in progress. There's a constant battle going on inside of myself. Maybe you're going through it as well. I have a hard time identifying when to hold on to something, and when to let it go.

I was reminded of this "problem" this past week, when I went out dancing. I had every intention of unwinding, having a good time, and getting some much needed girlfriend time. About an hour into the evening, the ex-girlfriend of my friend showed up. If you follow my blog, then you know whom I refer. She's the one who called me on my 40th birthday to tell me I could no longer be friends with "her" boyfriend. There are some people that can really push my buttons.

My 18-year-old-self reared her ugly head, and wanted to confront the "troll". I recognized that I was still lit up about the situation. I felt like mouthing "F*&% You" when she looked my way. I wanted to brawl. To feel justice somehow, for being accused of things that really didn't exist, only in her head. I wanted to intimidate her. Instead, my 40-year-old-self took over. This is the conversation that went on inside of myself:

18-year-old-self: "I want to punch her in the face!"
40-year-old-self: "If you do that, then you'll go to jail. Is that what you want for yourself and for your family?"
18-year-old-self: "Damn, you're right. Okay, what if I dump a glass of red wine on her head?"
40-year-old-self: "If you do that, then you'll get kicked out of the bar, and you won't be allowed back in for a long time."
18-year-old-self: "Grrr! Right again! What if I just mouth "F*&! You, so she knows I'm still pissed about how she treated me?"
40-year-old-self: "Really?? Come on, you shouldn't let this bother you. You're an adult now. You think it's fun for her to see you, and know that you know her relationship failed? Have some compassion for goodness sake!"
18-year-old-self: "Let it go?"
40-year-old-self: "Let it go."

Letting go of stuff is hard for me. I'm a fighter. I want to resolve issues, complete the "puzzle" and find peace. It does me absolutely no good to try and hold onto things that I simply cannot change. I have to release it, and know that what I allow into my space, needs to be good for me, positive and worth the fight. Sometimes though, in the case of my mother, I simply cannot break through. That's when letting go, is self preservation.

Is letting go, forgiveness? Perhaps. I view it as accepting the circumstance, moving forward with my life, and I suppose, having compassion for the other person. I don't want to carry the burden, or the weight of the situation anymore.

After dancing for a few hours that night, I didn't do anything. I walked away. When I finished dancing, I hugged my friends goodbye, walked out the door, and headed home to my family, leaving the situation behind me. I thought to myself, "Life will be her teacher, it's not my job to be."

Give me a break!!

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Fri, 08 Jun 2012 06:02:00 +0000

Life around this house, for the past year, has been chaotic, crazy and often times overwhelming. Adjusting to living together, a new baby and blending a family, was a lot harder than you might expect. Lately though (dare I say it?), life has been pretty uneventful, smooth and most times easy going. Have we made it through that transitional time, or have we accepted each other, faults and all?

A few days ago, I recognized that I was bored with my life. I work, I'm with the kids. I work, I'm with the kids. Day after day, week after week. I have one day a week, in the evening, that I get "me" time. Some mothers do not need this time away from their family. They, of course, do not have MY family, and I am not a martyr. I feel there is no shame in saying that I need a weekly break from "these people that reside in my home".

Monday night, as we watched one of the playoff games, I am approached by my lover....

Billy: "Can I ask you for a favor?"
Me: (Knowing I'm about to be worked) "What kind of favor?"
Billy: "Commit to the favor first."
Me: (This must be a whopper!) "I won't commit to anything before knowing the details. What do you want?"
Billy: "JP......."
Me: (As I cut him off, knowing exactly what he wants) "Oh no. No, no, no, no! Billy this will be the fifth week in a row you've taken my ONLY day to myself, to go play golf!"
Billy: "Come on please. It hasn't been five weeks in a row. You're exaggerating!"

I whip out the calender and my phone, to go back to the text message he originally sent to me, pleading for me to give up the first Tuesday, so he could go play golf with his buddy, JP. As I counted he weeks and compared them to the text messages, I was wrong. Yep, W-R-O-N-G, wrong! This would make it SIX consecutive weeks he took my Tuesday. No trade outs, no exchanges. He simply took them. No wonder I was climbing the walls. I needed a huge break from the kids.

I let him go (because I am not evil), with the promise that he would tell JP that he had to pick a new day to golf. There are six other days in the week, that Billy can golf, but Tuesday's are my days. Then I did what any other self respecting woman would do in my situation.....I handed him the baby the very next morning, asked him to watch her while I went to work (he didn't have to go in that day), and then went to dinner with my girlfriend (taking his poker night). I can't tell you how amazing I feel today!

I wouldn't have done that a year ago. We were in transition. Life was harder and I felt I needed to be the one to suck it up. I no longer feel that way. I ask for help when I need it. We have learned to communicate better (always an improving area), respect what the other person needs, and do our best to give, without resentment, to each other. We want each other to be happy, as a couple, as parents and as individuals. That's why I let him go. We both got what we wanted, it just didn't happen the way it was scheduled to.

The kids are getting exactly what they need, as well. Lala is about to graduate from 8th grade next week. Belle is making new friends, and attending a new school in the fall. Pumpkie took her first real steps today, several times. That may worry some of you, thinking my world is about to get a whole lot worse. Don't worry. She's already into everything. Rather than crawling at lightening speed, chasing after me around the house, she now uses a walker (the kid version of an adult walker) and is chasing me with it. However, this new found freedom of hers is quite wonderful. She plays more independently for longer periods of time. Hallelujah!!

It's all good in the hood, over here. Nothing to pressing to report. Life may be a little on the boring side, but it's all good. I've had my share of drama over the last few years, and we are on a well deserved break from it all!!

Planes, Trains and Automobiles Pt. 3

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Thu, 31 May 2012 06:39:00 +0000

In my previous post, I left out a lot of eye rolling and fit throwing on my behalf. I had enough. I wanted to be in Wisconsin and drinking something in the realm of an adult beverage. I couldn't be bothered with this traveling stuff. We had four hours of sleep, standing in lines that didn't move, for hours, and we were stuck in Denver for an eternity. Okay, maybe it wasn't an eternity, but it sure felt like it with the two little ones running amok in the airport. I was tired, cranky and needed a nap.

Luckily, the airline was nice enough to give us a food voucher (I'm betting my eye rolling helped us not only score the food voucher, but also the hotel room because prior to that, we were going to have to get a rental car in Chicago and drive to Wisconsin over night). We loaded up on milk, juice and salads at McDonald's to hold us over for the rest of the night. We found a nice corner at the gate, and had a fabulous carpet picnic, while we waited two and a half more hours for our flight to Chicago.

Billy kept reminding me we weren't working, and that I needed to lighten up because I wasn't being much fun. I'm sure he felt like he wasn't working at all, but I was still on the "mom clock", so I didn't feel like I was in vacation mode just yet. I decided that I needed to lighten up and create a better experience for everyone. After all, we were on an adventure, right?! Yeah, right....chasing after a very active one year old and trying in vein to entertain a very inquisitive, active and curious six year old, in a very boring airport, was not my idea of an adventure.

We finally boarded the flight and Pumpkie fell asleep, which she did throughout the trip every time we flew. Thank you sweet baby Jesus! After landing in Chicago, we boarded the shuttle bus to the hotel. That's when I started to get grumpy again. We were down to two diapers and I had to get through an entire night and day with a baby on two diapers. Our luggage was in Minneapolis and we were in Chicago. No tooth brushes, tooth paste, hair brushes for the next morning, clothes to change into, nothing. I sat across from Billy and just stared at him.

Billy: "What's wrong?"
Cindy: "We have nothing to brush our teeth with. Belle looks rough and I need to brush her hair in the morning. And you left your glasses on the dresser at home."

The look of sheer panic spread across his face when he realized he was wearing the only pair of contacts we had on us! We wear dailies, the kind you throw away after using them for one day. Now he was feeling my pain, and suddenly, I was feeling a whole lot better! Finally, the magnitude of everything hit him.

We decided to look for contact lens solution once we reached the hotel, along with diapers, toothbrushes, toothpaste and deodorant.

We checked into the hotel and headed over to the gift shop. They sold "changing kits" rather than a package of diapers. A changing kit consists of one diaper and six wipes for $3.99. In our desperation, we grabbed four ($16 for four diapers is a complete rip off by the way. You can get about one hundred diapers for that price in a store.) along with the other items and went up to our room.

As Billy and I settled in for the night, he pulled me close, exhaled and said, "Well, we made it through the day." I closed my eyes and thought, "After all this crap today, there is absolutely nobody else in the world I could have gone through this with. He made it better for me. I almost lost my mind a few times and he held it together. He held us all together today. Whether he knows it or not, he was the rock."

We got to Minneapolis a day later than expected. As we pulled up to the house, we were greeted by Billy's parents, cousin, aunt and uncle. They were all wonderful. Billy's dad gave me a hug and handed me a glass of wine. God, I love that man! Without words, he knew exactly what I needed.

The rest of the trip was amazing, by the way. We enjoyed driving through the country and seeing how beautiful Wisconsin is. We laughed, we sang, we ate, we visited family, we went to his cousin's wedding, we danced and through it all, we were together. All four of us. Enjoying each other, creating a memorable vacation for the kids, for each other and for our family members.

This time around, there was no regret. No sitting in a bathroom with candles and an enema. No sitting in awkward silence on a long drive home. No looking for the nearest exit sign. This time, I was in the trenches with a solid partner. I never once wanted to leave him at the airport, or ditch him at the hotel. It might have crossed my mind to ditch the kids.... kidding, only kidding. Seriously though, this time around, I got it right. I'm with the right person, the right travel partner. My best friend....

Planes, Trains and Automobiles Pt. 2

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Wed, 30 May 2012 06:46:00 +0000

It started the night before our trip. I was talking to Billy's mom on the phone. She was offering moral support, knowing the woman gets stuck doing most of the preparation for a family trip across the States. I, of course, was pulling my hair out. I decided to jump in the shower and scratch an item off the list. I took Pumpkie with me and placed her in the baby bath tub inside the shower.

Within two minutes, she started grunting. No, no, no, no.....I tried stopping it. I tried making her laugh and distracting her. Nope! It happened. She pooped in the bath tub, for the very first time. And she chose the worst possible time to do it, too. On top of everything else, I now had a mess to clean up. Aye, aye, aye....

We finished packing about 11pm. We finally feel asleep by 11:30pm and the alarm went off at 4:00am. We were out the door by 5:30am. One car seat, 3 bags to check in, 3 carry ons, and two children. It wasn't easy to get around quickly, but we managed pretty well. We get on the bus, played games with the kids, and relaxed for the first time in 48 hours. Ahhhh......wait. Why are we not moving? Traffic? Are you kidding me? Oh no, it's a holiday weekend.....big sigh!

We finally make it to the airport by 8:00am. Our flight departs at 9:08am and we have a lay over in Denver. Our flight leaves from Denver at 1:15pm and is supposed to arrive in Minneapolis at 4:07pm.

We check in and dump half of our luggage, lightening our load. We breeze through security and head over to our gate. Everything appears to be normal and on time. We find a seat and let the kids play until we are ready to board. At 9:00am, I see everyone starting to congregate near the departing gate, so we move over. The lady behind the desk says something over the loud speaker, but she is drowned out by another lady over another loud-er speaker, and I can't hear a fling flangin' thing. I move toward the desk to find out what the overshadowed lady was saying. There are 2 people in front of me.

As I'm standing there she rattles off her "bad" news. Our flight is being delayed an hour because they have to change a tire. Now I know why there is a line forming behind me.....

After 15 minutes standing in line, and it didn't move, they announce that they are moving over to the next gate. Everyone behind me, runs over to the other gate. Now, I'm stuck in the back of the line versus being in the front of the line. Son of a biscuit maker!!! I was ready to lose my mind.

After an hour of standing in line and not moving even an inch, they start boarding us onto the "tire" plane. We are told they would be handling our connecting flight over in Denver. So on we went. Belle played tic tac toe with Billy and Pumpkie napped. It was smooth. We landed in Denver two and a half hours after our connecting flight left.....with our luggage, which landed in Minneapolis, without us. Just fabulous!

We were waiting in another long ass line, until the kids started acting up. It was then, that I realized that all airports should have a kids area. Kids can play, exerting energy, out of the way of other passengers who are trying to get from point A to point B without tripping over our children. But since they didn't have that option available to us, we used the only thing we knew would entertain the kids for at least an hour....the walkway!

We finally got through the ridiculously long line and found a flight, on another airline, to Chicago. They connected us to Minneapolis the next day, but we would have to stay overnight in Chicago. I looked in the diaper bag....we had 3 diapers left. I panicked!! I went on a diaper search. Do you know that there is not one diaper to be bought in the entire Denver airport?

Oh well, on to the walkway. I will allow my children to walk/glide across that thing until we leave. Why? Because it is that, or allow them to scream there hearts out on the entire flight over to Chicago, or allow them to get in your way while you try and shave a few seconds off your walk across the airport. Hmmmm, decisions, decisions??

From the land of Peyton Manning, to the land of Jay Cutler, we go....

Planes, Trains and Automobiles Pt. 1

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Wed, 30 May 2012 06:06:00 +0000

Last week, I was thinking about my past and all the people I've traveled with. I should tell you that I don't travel well with others. Similar to playing well with others, except you can't go home when you've finished playing.

When I was dating, I had a really hard time finding someone I wanted to travel with. If some of you have been reading my blog, you'll remember my trusted "list". On that list, was someone who I could travel with, and not want to kick out of the car after 30 minutes. It can become a nightmare. You like one genre of music, they like another. You run out of things to talk about, followed by awkward silence for extended periods of time. Unexpected bathroom breaks, bodily function mishaps, growling stomachs, and all the things that can happen to throw your trip off, including getting lost. With the wrong person, this can be extremely stressful. With the right person, it's just another adventure.

I was recalling a time when I dated this one guy and we decided to take a trip to San Diego for a weekend get away. We decided to take my car and off we went. Immediately, he took control of the radio. That was mistake #1. Never take control of someones remote control or TV if you aren't in a committed relationship with the person. He then found a station he liked. Alternative music. Can't stand it. It was excruciating to listen to for three hours. Mistake #2. Always ask a woman what she would like to listen to.

When we got there, I was highly irritated and wasn't much fun. I'll admit, I was still pissed that he took control of the radio without asking, and tortured me for three hours with the noise he called music. I got over it and moved forward with the weekend.

Later that night, I was in pain. I knew I had a bladder infection, but kept on going. By the morning, I was doubled over in pain and constipated. Not just a little constipated.....but walking-the-isles-of-the-store-looking-for-an-enema, constipated!! I need to explain to you all that I have a huge issue going to the bathroom in public, or when other people are present. It just won't happen if other people are around. I am too uncomfortable to allow myself to relax enough to let loose. This was turning out to be a huge nightmare for me!

So here I am, in San Diego, 4 hours from home, stuck in a bathroom with a candle and an enema! I was wishing the man on the other side of the door would fall off the face of the earth, so I could just take a dump! It was embarrassing and frustrating. Nothing happened and we left shortly after that. Needless to say, that was a very quiet and long drive back home.

Back to my list....meeting someone I could travel with, was pretty high on the list. As I looked forward to the weekend trip I was about to take with Billy, Belle and Pumpkie, I was pretty impressed that I found the perfect travel partner! We've taken small trips over the last few years and I have to admit, Billy is a fabulous travel partner. I was completely confident when we left the house for our flight to Wisconsin over the weekend, that we would have a great time! As a matter of fact, I even mentioned it to his Mom the day before the trip. She laughed.

We wouldn't be laughing a few hours hours later.

To be continued.......

Happy 1st Birthday to Pumpkie!

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Mon, 21 May 2012 15:12:00 +0000

One year ago, today, I was scheduled for a C-section. My daughter was breech, with the cord wrapped around her neck. I was 36 weeks, 6 days pregnant, and I had been contracting for weeks. Although my previous two children were born vaginally, this was a whole new experience, and I was kind of scared.

The night before, I had a fabulous "last" meal with my sisters. We dined on Mexican food, courtesy of Lalo's in Moorpark. During the meal, I was contracting pretty hard, but that was becoming a normal thing for me. We finished and decided to go to Target to pick up some baby things. Both my sisters were having a grand time finding the cutest baby items to buy for their newest niece. I was miserable, walking through the isles, having the hardest contractions I felt, thus far. I finally called it a night around 9pm and headed home.

The next morning, I got up and got ready. I thought, "Hey, this scheduled C-section thing isn't such a bad thing. I can look fabulous when the pictures are taken! No sweating and laboring. I just go in and they pull her out. Presto!"

We arrived at the hospital right on time, at 6am. As soon as we checked in they said, "You'll be delivering your twins today?" Billy and I looked at each other and said, "Wait! What? Twins? I thought there was only one baby in here!" We went up and they got me hooked up. Then the nurse comes in and says the same thing, in her cheery voice. "So, we'll be delivering twins today, right?" I'm not sure I've ever seen blood drain from a man's face so fast in my life!

That, of course, was some clerical error. I'm not sure how it all began, because I didn't care. I was contracting pretty hard by that time and I knew I only had one baby in me, even though they kept coming up with this twins stuff.

By now, everyone who was supposed to be there, was there. My sister came in from Vegas the night before, and she arrived with my other sister. My two other daughters were there, and we were all waiting on my doctor to arrive. Once he came in, there seemed to be some confusion amongst the staff. I'm pretty sure it had to do with a C-section being performed on a 36 week-er. The staff shuffled out of the room and then the telephone rang. It was my doctor.

He told me that they were going to send me home, because he thought my water would break by now and was worried about the cord coming through the canal, causing the baby's oxygen supply to cut off since the cord was around her neck. However, my water didn't break and he felt one more week would allow the baby to develop better. Are you freakin' kidding me??

I hung up the phone and sat there in disbelief. I had to tell everyone we were going home and that my sister, who traveled pretty far, left her family and responsibilities, did it for nothing. Not only that, but she had to make the trip out again next weekend. She was going to kill me. Naturally, I did the only thing I could think of at that moment.....

When the doctor came in to announce my departure, I kindly said, "Dr. Van Geem, would you mind checking me, just as a precaution, before you send me home? I've been contracting all night and they are pretty strong." He sent everyone out of the room while he did his check.

Sure enough, I was dilated to 4cm and in active labor. Guess we'll be occupying a room instead of checking out of Club Med!

After they drugged me up and layed me out, Jesus style on that table, I started crying. I was scared shitless. Probably due to the fact that I was unable to feel, move or do anything, and that is quite the vulnerable state to be in. Billy came in and grabbed my hand, told me a few things and I felt better. They asked me if I wanted to watch my child being born. I really didn't want to, but they have those mirrored lights above your head and I couldn't help seeing what was going on.

I watched in fascination as they cut me open. The water poured out, and I could see her legs. The doc pulled her out and I heard her cry for the first time. It was such a miracle, of the modern kind. I couldn't believe that we made this beautiful little girl (let's not lie here, I did all the work). I continue to be amazed at her development over time.

Happy 1st Birthday to my little Pumpkie! Boy, this year has gone by very fast. You are taking your first steps, have nine teeth, you say "mama, dada, yaya, baba, whatssat", you wave hello and goodbye, clap your hands, dance every time you hear music, you love being outside and would live outside if I let you, and you are very expressive with whatever you are babbling. We love you, and are so very proud of you!

Are men on the entitlement program?

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Thu, 17 May 2012 05:02:00 +0000

What is it about guys, that make them feel that they are on the entitlement program?

They work all day, come home exhausted, and then plop themselves in front of the TV, tuning out the world. They claim that they worked hard all day, that they just want to relax, and watch some TV.

Really? Because we worked hard all day long, too. Don't we deserve a little downtime? Instead, we have to take care of the kids, fix dinner, throw in some laundry, do dishes, and prepare lunches for the next day. This of course, on top of changing diapers, feeding the kids, who won't eat the dinner you are currently making, give them a bath, read them a bedtime story, brush their teeth, and manage to get them to bed. After they're in bed, we have to finish picking up, folding laundry, putting it away, and somehow, manage to get some more work done.

Ladies, do you feel me? I've been listening to you. This seems to be an imbalance across the land. One that we accept, to keep the peace, but inside we want to scream, INJUSTICE BE DAMNED!! How in the world is this fair?

Just today, I was talking to one of my clients, and she was telling me that her husband comes home after work and plops himself in front of the TV, not lifting a finger after his ass hits the cushion. It reminded me of someone.....oh yeah, ME!! I thought, my gosh, this goes on in other homes too? Well, I'll be damned!

Ladies, we need to figure out how to balance this stuff out. I really think we would be much more agreeable, less bitchy, less tired and more likely to be a lot more fun, if we actually had some help.

Guys, you might be the breadwinner, but that doesn't mean you get to suck up all the downtime. Be more helpful and take an hour to yourself, then give your lady a break. Maybe it's your turn to give baths, brush teeth, read bedtime stories and tuck the kids in. That will give your hard working lady some downtime. Then maybe, just maybe, she might want to spend some time with you at the end of the night. And if you're really lucky, she might even have sex with you, because she won't be quietly figuring out how to sneak rat poison into your food! You were helpful. Her knight in shining armour for the evening, helping her slay dragons, in the little people form.

Ladies, we need to speak up and ask for help. I am just as guilty, so I'm not preaching. I just know we take the silent approach, thinking we have to do it all. There is power in negotiation. I believe that it's important to figure out what works for your relationship and schedule, but for me I think I'm going to add some more things to my list. Lately, I've been coming home and working my tail off. Billy will then take the baby to bed, and I am up until 1:00am doing everything I need to do, including unwinding from the day. I think though, that I need to be smarter about sharing the "wealth", and asking him to take on more responsibilities at home.

We have been trying to balance as we go along. I have come to realize, that as my workload increases, I have less downtime, and have to adjust. I think it hit home last night, when at 9:30pm I ran into my neighbor in the laundry room. He said to me, "You are ALWAYS doing laundry. I feel so bad for you." I thought, "Jeez, is it that bad? I guess I am always doing laundry. Par for the course with five people in the house."

In my house, this shouldn't be a huge issue, when I bring it up. I think he will welcome the added responsibility (Yeah right) because he knows how hard I work (He's just happy he doesn't have to do it all) and he will want to help out (He says he'll help more during summer, when he's off. But I know that isn't true. He'll have volleyball, basketball and golf, combined with weekly poker games to do, exhausting him more and thereby causing him be too tired to lift a finger.). I will stay positive and fight the good fight (No you won't. You'll be passive-aggressive and blog about it)............Would someone knock the devil off my shoulder, please??? I'm tired of listening to her.....

Now, I must sign off and put the baby to bed, because Billy is at his weekly poker game. Dear Lord, give me the strength.............

What would you do?

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Wed, 09 May 2012 18:49:00 +0000

Before I get to the heart of this blog, I want to make sure everyone understands that I am not degrading Billy. In fact, it's quite opposite. We all have a tendency to take ourselves too seriously, and I LOVE poking some fun at my "teammate".

I say "teammate" because a relationship is supposed to be a partnership. The word EQUALITY comes to mind. However, anyone who has ever been in a long term relationship, knows that the whole 50%-50% thing, is complete and utter bullshit! There are few times when it's actually 50%-50%. It's more like 80%-20% on either side of the fence, and flip flops back and forth, throughout the course of the relationship. That's reality, my friends.

Billy is great at putting little Pumpkie to sleep. That frees up evening time for me to get some alone time, blog, market, or simply enjoy having my friend, the remote, in my hand. Just the other night I was enjoying some down time. I went to the bathroom, did my business, and went for the toilet paper. That's when I realized that we were running out.

I searched for another roll, thinking I had a secret stash somewhere. No such luck (isn't that always the case?). I weighed the option of running to the store, but I was too tired to even attempt to go anywhere..... Ok, fine. I was being lazy! I looked at the roll and thought it out. There was almost 1/2 of a "double" roll left. Surely, we couldn't go through THAT much toilet paper in the morning, could we? Nah, it wasn't possible. I went to bed, assured, we were safe.

I woke at 6:30 in the morning to the first toilet flush. I shot straight up in bed! How did he manage to get out of bed without waking me? Shoot. I didn't get to tell him to ration. It's really quiet in there, what is he doing? Shouldn't he be getting in the shower? Maybe he's checking himself out in the mirror.

And then I heard the toilet flush AGAIN! Oh no....no, no, no, no. Then the shower starts. I make a bee-line to the bathroom, since I now have to pee really badly. I look, and I almost cry. The toilet paper roll is empty! For the love of God!!! You have got to be kidding me? What man goes through the rest of the toilet paper, in a house full of girls?????

I have to pee, very, very badly, but I head to the kitchen to try and find a scrap of paper. We are out of paper towels, napkins, even tissue. Holy Mary, Mother of God....what am I going to do? I have nothing left in the house to wipe with. That's when I spotted the coffee pot, and I realized I still had coffee filters left. It'll have to do.....I grabbed my coffee filters and ran to the bathroom.

There's a little bit more to the story, but I'll spare you the specifics. In wondering why he used all of the toilet paper, I realized that we both could have used Pumpkie's baby wipes. My "teammate" left me hanging that morning. I improvised. We learned a little from it. We had a good laugh at each other and I, being the "better half", ran to the store to restock our paper goods.

Yes, I have to be the person to think of all of those little details. But he has other things he is responsible for. We are finding our balance, non of which is 50%-50%, but it works for us. However, if he pulls that stunt again, I will have a little fun of my own. Like hiding all of the toilet paper under the bed, late at night, so when he gets up in the morning, he'll have to figure it out. Or maybe I'll plastic wrap the toilet seat?? Hmmmm, decisions, decisions....but all in good fun!

Christina Aguilera, the hypocrite.....

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Wed, 09 May 2012 02:18:00 +0000

So, Christina Aguilera has a problem with Tony Lucca on The Voice. Why? What did he do to deserve all the cheap shots thrown his way throughout the entire season?

Last night's finale proved that she is not only petty, immature, unprofessional and bitchy, but she's also being hypocritical. She said that Tony's performance of Jay-Z's "99 Problems" was good, but then added, unnecessarily, "the lyrical connotation was a little derogatory towards women, but all in all I thought it was fun." Wait! What? When did being derogatory to women become fun?

She said that, coming off of a duet she performed with her contestant, exposing her "spraytanorexic" breasts, barely covering her nipples, all while her son looked on back stage? Let me get this straight......is she now an advocate for the proper treatment of women? Is she setting the right example for her young son, by exposing herself that way, and starting a fight on national television, with not only a contestant, but a fellow judge? Way to go Xtina! If you want your son and other impressionable kids around the world to exemplify your behavior, continue to wear the cleavage exposing get-ups, pick fights with other people, and disrespect them further by tweeting the entire time you're on TV!

The problem I have with her behavior, is the message she's sending with the forum she has. I also have a HUGE problem with her starting the issue. She could have risen above any rehearsal drama, and gave Tony props for his performance and then left it at that. Instead, she lacked self control, and took a cheap shot, unnecessarily. It was ridiculous!

The biggest problem that will come from her behavior, is the position she put Chris Mann in. Her lack of professionalism put him in a position to lose, and that bothers me. Her personal vendetta seemed to be more important than protecting the position Chris was in. It was a selfish move on her part and I feel she owes him a HUGE public apology, if he does lose tonight.

Hey Xtina, you should take inventory before you put yourself out there like that. Grow up, be professional, and maintain a cool head, because you are making yourself out to be the biggest bitch on prime time TV!!

Spot reduction - can I get flatter abs by doing crunches alone?

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Fri, 04 May 2012 15:38:00 +0000

We talked about chipping away at your fitness goals, one step at a time. Last week, I suggested you start by actually sitting down, writing out your goals, and start taking action. This week, we'll talk about spot reduction.

When you were younger, you had a pretty perfect body, right? Then as you grew into adulthood, your body started betraying you a little bit at a time. You look in the mirror and all you see is that one thing on your body that doesn't look the way you want it to. Perhaps, it's your tummy. Maybe it's your thighs. For some, it can be that extra wave you picked up under your arm. You know, when you wave to someone, stop, but the under arm still keeps moving....

We do all we can to focus on that one body part to make it change. But it doesn't change. You could do a thousand sit ups a day, but your tummy doesn't really look any better. Sure, there's some improvement, but if we were being really honest with ourselves, not much is truly changing.

Spot reduction is when you pick a spot on your body, and try and target that spot, to make change. Guess what? It doesn't work that way. You have fat cells all over your body. Those cells have to minimize in size in order for you to make change. Doing a thousand crunches to get a six pack isn't going to work, because your body will not favor fat cells in your tummy, over fat cells on your backside. They will either all reduce in size, stay the same, or increase in size, depending on your caloric intake and output.

In your plan, you should include the following:

* What do I need to address in my food intake, to reduce the number of calories I consume in a day, to help me reach my goal? You have to create a caloric deficit in order to make true change. Period. There's no way around it.

* Once you figure out how many calories you need to consume, divide it by 4 or 5 (depending on the number of meals you realistically can consume daily). Create your "Calorie Budget" for the day and don't "over spend".

* Lifting weights (resistance training) has many benefits for your body. One of the benefits, is that you will actually burn more calories at rest, increasing your metabolic rate, over time. An analogy I use is this: if you compare a 300 lbs overweight man to a 300 lb body builder, the body builder will burn more calories in a day, simply because he has all that lean body mass to fuel. I'm not suggesting YOU become a body builder, I'm simply pointing out that lifting weights will help you reach your goal faster, than not lifting weights.

* Do your cardio! Cardio gives you more energy, increases the strength of your heart, and burns body fat. Find something that works for you, and if you need suggestions, ask. I will help you find something you will enjoy.

* Take your vitamins. You will be in a caloric deficit, but your body will require nutrients you will not be able to give it through food consumption alone. So you'll have to supplement.

* You have to drink water. Yes, you'll have to cut back on your Diet Coke addiction, and replace it with water. Your body needs to be hydrated in order to get everything it needs, so it'll let go of the extra stuff it has been storing.

You have to chip away at all of these things in order for even one spot on your body to reduce in size. That's not my rule, so don't blame me. It's like trying to lift a dumbbell with one finger. It's nearly impossible, but if you use all of your fingers, you can be successful at picking up the dumbbell. Use all your "fingers" (food intake, weight lifting, cardio, supplements, water) because you'll be more effective at reducing that one annoying spot you want to reduce in size. With consistency, you'll reach your goal before you know it.

Ground Hog's Day

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:00:00 +0000

Ground Hog's Day.....

You know what that is, right? It's when one day, continues to repeat itself, everyday.

I wish my day off would repeat itself, but that's not really what's going on here. Instead, it goes a little something like this:

Wake up at the butt crack of dawn, to a little baby face, in my face, drooling through a mile-wide smile.

Baby decides it's a fabulous idea to head-butt me before grabbing the curtains and ripping them open, revealing the brightest light known to mankind. Good morning to you too, little one!

Get up, grab a cup of coffee, bleary eyed, while the baby makes a bee-line to the toilet. I think she wants to do water aerobics in that bowl, even though I've nailed it shut.

Grab my first, and only sip of HOT coffee of the morning before grabbing the baby to change her diaper.

Lie baby down to change her diaper, and realize those water aerobics have created Herculean strength in this tiny being, because she is strong! I cannot keep her still, or force her down. I somehow manage to change the shitty diaper, without getting any on the walls, and strap a new one on without duct taping her down, but it takes ten long minutes!

As Lala gets ready for school, she says, "Mom, can you please do my laundry today?"

MY GOD, THE LAUNDRY!! I've decided everyone has to wear their clothes twice before putting it in the dirty hamper, because it is a bottomless pit of work for me! How many outfits can one person wear in a day? Let's review:

Gym clothes, school or work clothes and pajamas. Hello! That's 3 wardrobe changes in one day. Add towels, sheets and bath mats for all of us and there you go.....I am buried alive in laundry. I used to knock it out in one day, but I was spending 7 to 10 hours doing laundry. I've decided to do at least 2 loads a day and manage my time better.

Jump in the shower and get ready for work. Of course, my companion, the little one, will not let that happen without wanting to take one with me, so off we go.

Leave to train clients. Sit in traffic for hours....yay!

Getting. Sleepy. Need. A. Nap!! Not going to happen since I have the "Hummer" of baby car seats in my car, preventing my seat from lying down. I cannot fall asleep in a locked car, seated upright, for fear that some idiot would actually try and car jack me.

Baby has been a trouper all day, so I take her to the park to get some "play" time (as if the whole day isn't a play day for a baby....shhhhh, we'll keep that to ourselves). Swing, swing, swing....okay time to go.

Head home in more traffic. Did I mention the commute is an hour long, without traffic?

Arrive home, exhausted, but still have to get a workout in. Please, someone hit the pause button on the day so I can take a 20 minute nap? Oh and dinner needs to be cooked for the family, since they're all sitting around waiting for me, with sad, droopy eyes, wondering when they'll be fed.

Fix dinner, eat a few scraps and head to get my pump on! Finally, some "me" time.

Plug in my ear buds and rock out to my music while lifting weights. In between sets, I play a few games on my phone. I notice the "monkey heads" looking at me like I'm a slacker. "Don't judge me you buffoon! I'm going to milk every minute of this break for what it's worth, because once I get back home, I am back on duty!"

Clean up the dishes. Hand the baby over to daddy to put her to sleep. My work is done and I can relax. Bliss!

Grab the remote, the laptop, and tune out the real world. Until, I notice the ant crawling across the computer screen.........

There is never just one ant. The search begins. Crawl around the floor, pull the sofa out and find the first of three trails. I will not deal with this crap this year!! They are becoming mutant ants, taking the poison I feed them back to the nest, and still survive. I'm over it!! Die,tiny F%#$ers!! Die!!

I assume the position on the couch, get really comfy, grab my trusted remote (I love my little buddy) and then start my show. I hear..........WAAAAAAAA coming from the back of the house and I. Give. Up! Time for bed.

Tomorrow will be another day, but it'll be Ground Hog's day all over again. I don't mind, though, because when it's all said and done, I have purpose, a family and a life I love living! I may not get to do the things I really want to do each day, but that's okay. That will change later in life, when I'm older, and can eat dinner at 4:30pm at Marie Calender's and be asleep by 7:30pm. In fact, if my hips don't fail me, I'll make sure to do my own water aerobics, wear adult diapers and make little Pumpkie take care of me! Now, that's what I'm talking about!!!

Small steps toward your fitness goal.....

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 15:56:00 +0000

I've talked endlessly about the stress of having a family, but I haven't really talked about my career. Some of you might think I am a full-time Mom. While I do consider myself a full-time Mom, I do have a career, one that I enjoy and love.

I started Personal Training 13 years ago, about 6 months after having Lala. I started this career after feeling like I had burned myself out in the retail world. I knew I was meant to help others, but I felt like my purpose wasn't to help put away clothes or handle endless complaints, I had no control over. I left the retail world and followed my instincts to help others feel better about themselves. By helping people achieve their desired fitness goals, I was able to help them improve their self esteem, feel better physically, and help them connect with their partner again. It's a truly rewarding profession, and I feel that it's the right fit for me.

My biggest challenge is figuring out what is preventing a client from achieving their goal. I am constantly trying to figure out how to help, motivate and guide a client to continue working toward their goal. I wish there was a magic pill that we could all take to reshape our bodies the way we want them to look, but it doesn't exist. You have to be willing to sacrifice certain things, work hard toward the goal and stay in the game, mentally. It can be tough to change your habits, but replacing poor habits with healthy habits, will benefit you in the long run.

I sometimes think people have the impression that a personal trainer is someone who puts them through workouts. Although that is part of the service, it's not the basis of what we do. Yes, we have to continue to keep the workouts fun, challenging and effective, but we also have to be a big support system for most of our clients. Most people are not as disciplined when it comes to their food intake. Some people are not as disciplined in maintaining their workouts on their own. Others need help all the way around. We are coaches, motivators, therapists and life coaches all in one bag. Well, the good trainers are, anyway.

I have found that small, reasonable changes work best for most people. Although, we always have good intentions (I'll get up at 5am everyday and workout. I'll keep my caloric intake at 1200 everyday.), it rarely lasts for a long period of time. Most people are creatures of habit, so pulling out a few things and making small changes work best, rather than trying to make a complete make-over all at one time. For some people, the make-over approach works best, but for people who have struggled with weight gain and loss, their entire life, it's more difficult to break poor habits. Look at some of the Biggest Loser contestants. Although they inspire us, a LOT of former contestants have gained their weight back because they were playing a game on the ranch, and once they moved back into real life, real life took over.

My suggestion is to figure out what your plan is. What do you want to achieve? Set a goal, a timeline and figure out what will be realistic for your lifestyle. Understand that initially, you will be super motivated, but eventually, that wears off. What will you do once that happens? How will you track your food intake? What are you willing to give up and sacrifice and what are you unwilling to give up? Once everything is in place, start chipping away at your goal. Those wanting to lose 50 lbs or more, I suggest chipping away at it in pieces, so the number doesn't get overwhelming.

We all need a swift kick in the ass sometimes. It can come in the form of a doctor's visit, a look in the mirror, a spouse commenting on your weight gain, or simply coming to terms with where you are at in life. Whatever the spark is, ride the wave. Take photos of yourself, commit to the goal, the program and inch your way toward your goal. It's not easy, but what is in life? It's not going to be handed to you, so work for it! Claim it. Celebrate the small successes. Your pants fitting better, the scale moving in the right direction, or compliments from other people. Stay the course, because at the end of the day, it's your journey, your life, and your success.

I'm here for you. Do you have questions for me? Anyone interested in starting a Fitness Challenge to lose weight before summer really gets started?

The Ex-Girlfriend Factor......

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 16:16:00 +0000

Have you ever been in a situation where you begin dating someone, only to learn that his/her ex-partner is still in his/her life? Either they choose to still be friends, or they share children together. How do you handle the situation?

I've been in that situation a few times. It's kind of a tricky situation going into it because you know there was a break-up and they aren't together anymore, but what are the real intentions of the person who is no longer with the person you are dating? You want to be secure in your new relationship, but it can be weird and awkward, sharing your time, or worse, he/she is sharing their time with their ex. What do you do?

I've never been bothered by a boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. In fact, more times than not, I have made a good friend for life. I have come to realize, through my own failed relationships, that you can have a beautiful friendship with someone, and not connect beyond that.

I have been, for the most part, very fortunate to meet and befriend my boyfriend's ex-girlfriends. I do not find it necessary to be catty, rude or insecure. It also helps when the ex-girlfriend really just puts it out there and tells you exactly what her role is, in his life.

I met Kristin, for the first time, over the phone. She wanted to know who was spending time with her daughter and I didn't blame her at all. I remember one of the very first things out of her mouth was, "I just want you to know that I have absolutely no interest in getting back together again with Billy. It is never going to happen." I laugh now, but at the time, I remember thinking, I could really get along with this woman! She's got my "direct approach" style.

We bonded over the "Twilight Series", and have a standing date whenever a new movie comes out. She had my heart, when her love for the "wolf", didn't mix with my love for the "vampire". We go out for birthday's, holiday's and the "just because" days. She is there for me, like nobody can be, because she understands exactly what I go through. She is my sister from another mister, and I love her!

It's not just one sided, either. I am there for her when she needs to talk through something. We have found that we both over analyze certain situations, and she knows she can count on me to talk through it. Neither one of us allows the other to "fluff" the friendship. We tell each other the truth and call each other out on our shit. She's a true friend and I count on her more than she knows.

The opposite can happen too. I had a guy friend, for years, but once he started a relationship with his girlfriend, she saw me as a threat. Rather than talking to me about her concerns, worries and insecurities, she gave him an ultimatum to choose either her or me. She then called me and told me to stay away from him. That it was "inappropriate" of me to stop by his house, without her consent, while she was out of town. In my defense, I was dealing with a screaming 3 month old, in traffic, in 100 degree heat, and I needed a place to stop. His place was nearby, so I dropped in for 10 minutes, outside, and left. I had no idea she was out of town. For that reason, she stopped talking to me and pulled the plug on my friendship with him. I don't get it, never will. But it's his relationship and if he wants to have someone control that aspect of his life, more power to him!

People and relationships are complex dynamics. You can choose to roll with the punches or fight the beast within. For me, I am very secure in who I am, and the relationship I have. I do not concern myself with what was, only what is. If I held up a wall of suspicion, I would never have made the friends I have. They may be the "ex-girlfriend" or the "female friend" of my partner, but they are now my friends too. I value them, respect the friendship they have with my partner, and enjoy them for the friendship they give to me.Ladies, if you're reading this right now, you know who you are, I raise my glass to you! Cheers to great friendships!!

Sex - before and after kids.....

noreply@blogger.com (A Series of Events) — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 15:28:00 +0000

Sex can be an amazing experience, with the right person. It can be a downright disappointment with the wrong person. You can have a great connection with someone, but something is off, or not right, and suddenly the scenario you had in your head, is no longer giving you the warm fuzzies. Instead, it's replaced with feelings of disappointment.

The opposite can happen. You meet someone, fall in love, and the sex is out of this world! You picture a future together, one that includes lots of great sex! You move in together with dreams of starting a family, and living the life you always dreamed of. And then you actually have kids.......

Before kids, its was just the two of you, so you could have sex whenever the mood struck, wherever you decided to have it. After kids, well, that's simply NEVER going to happen! Let's review, shall we?

Sex BEFORE kids:

You go out one evening, let's say dancing, and the flirtation is driving you both crazy. You decide to call it a night, but the two of you live in two different cities, so you decide to scope out parking lots. Adventurous, right? I'm not saying that I did that, I'm just creating a scenario....(clearing my throat). Anyway, you find the right parking lot and WHAM-O! You get it on! Both are satisfied and nobody got arrested!

Sex AFTER kids:

You stay in for the evening playing UNO for hours, getting your ass kicked by a six year old, and then you put the little darlings to bed. You find your way, quietly, to the car in the garage, pull out all of the car seats, lay down the seats, spread out a sheet and climb in. This works as a noise barrier because in your bedroom, the walls have ears! In the car, you can have loud, uninhibited sex.......until you hear a knock on the window, see two little eyes trying to see beyond the window tinting, and you are scrambling for your clothes!

Sex BEFORE kids:

You two are alone in a house, free to do "it" wherever you choose. You can do it on the floor, the kitchen counter, the table, the sofa, or the bedroom. You can also hang from the ceiling fan for all that matters, because no one can see you or hear you. You are loud, proud and screaming "Yes, Yes....Oh God, Yes!!".

Sex AFTER kids:

You are now confined to two places, well, three actually. The bathroom, because there's a lock. But that's not realistic most of the time, especially if you have only one bathroom, like me. The car, in the example above. Mostly though, its the bedroom, because it has a lock and you can dive for cover, in the event a little one tries to pry open the door. You can now forget making any noise at ALL while having sex, because they'll hear you, and ask a thousand questions about why you were screaming at God. This leaves you to act out the "silent movie" version of your sex life. You make all sorts of faces, but nothing ever comes out of your mouth....not even a whisper....leaving you to both laughing out loud!

Sex BEFORE kids:

Let's say, you only have time for a quickie....no problem! When it's just the two of you, wham, bam, thank you ma'am! You both love the connection, the can't-keep-your-hands-off-each-other phase, and you look forward to the next time you have sex, probably in the next 24 hours!

Sex AFTER kids:

The baby is taking a nap, the other kids are off playing and you look at each other, knowing you have a small window of opportunity to jump on each other. You lock the front door and get naked! You are in the moment of passion, when the doorbell rings, followed by pounding on the door! Are you freakin' kidding me?? Why, oh why, do these kids want to kill my sex life???

These are the vastly different lives you lead, once you decide to have kids. Is it worth it? You betcha! Like anyone living with another person, you can get frustrated, irritated and angry. But mostly, you love them, have fun and enjoy every moment. The kids aren't around forever and you can resume a kid-less sex life....unless they never move out. Sex isn't THE most important thing. But it is important.

Billy got us concert tickets yesterday to see Eric Church in July. I think I'll do us both a favor, find a sitter for the night, book a hotel room and hang the "Do not disturb" sign outside the door. Maybe, just maybe, nobody will come-a-knockin'!