a short story of a guy.... who fell behind.

Ramadhan

2011-08-09T22:06:00.001+08:00

I wish all muslim happy ramadhan. This year i'll be fasting on board which is a new experience for me. Hopefully everything will be fine

Regards,
Redzwan Rustam

Its been awhile

2011-07-24T12:50:00.001+08:00

Its been a while since i last wrote.

People often told me bout appereciation. Something that i lack in. Often i may display an attitude that doesnt show any appreciation towards something or someone but that doesnt mean i dont appreciate it or them. Its just that sometimes i dont really know how to responds to those moments.

I do apologize from deep down in my heart for those who i've hurt or affected by my action of lacking in appreciation.

Regards,
Redzwan Rustam

weird feeling

2011-02-16T03:03:00.001+08:00

i have a weird feeling bout something.

i dont know if im wrong or right.

i need clarification.

but from what i've seen, it seems right.

but from what i've heard, it seems wrong.

do help me.

i dont want to be left in the dark.

i dont want to be the last to know

i dont want to be hurt

& i dont want my heart to be broken.

Regards,
Redzwan Rustam

Is it wrong of me

2011-02-11T23:30:00.002+08:00

Is it wrong of me?
Is it wrong of me to ask you out?
Is wrong of me to wait for you?
Is wrong of me to tell you that i wanna go out with you?
Is wrong of me to tell you how i feel?
Is wrong of me to love you?

If it is, pls tell me.

--
Regards,

Redzwan Rustam

it hurts

2011-02-02T09:48:00.001+08:00

Are you out of your mind?
You dug yourself into a liar's hole
You made a little spark to live inside
It's now a fucking fire out of control
And when the morning comes you'll act surprised
And when the word gets out it will get old
And every day you'll try to live your life
And every little scandal will unfold

Regards,
Redzwan Rustam

3 months

2011-01-29T23:06:00.002+08:00

i've been away for 3 months.

i'm supposed to be happy when i got home,

but no, i feel different, like something is not in place.

i dont feel the same when i came back the last time,

is it just me or is it for real?

i really need you now. to comfort me,

if you are reading this, then you'll know what to do.

i miss you

2011-01-29T02:26:00.003+08:00

i miss you.

i missed how you cared for me,

how you always make my day,

how you used to cheer me up,

and how you make me feel that you love me.

i miss everything that used to be.

Its been so long.

2011-01-24T10:11:00.001+08:00

Its been so long, that I haven't seen your face, I'm trying to be
strong but the strength I have is washing away. It won't be long
before I get you by my side and just hold you & squeeze you.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Regards,
Redzwan Rustam

......

2011-01-22T15:56:00.001+08:00

I've been stuck in this whirlwind
My life's been spinning round my head
Long distance conversations
Make up for me not being there

And now I'm coming home
I'm coming home to you again
I hope you feel the same
Now I'm coming home
I'm coming home to you again
I hope things haven't changed

--
Sent from my mobile device

Regards,
Redzwan Rustam

monday

2011-01-19T22:11:00.002+08:00

monday..

that is what the person on the other side of the phone told me last week..

that is the day that i was supposed to sign off. i could be at home right now..

monday...

that is the answer from the other side of the phone told me today....

this is what i hate the most..

because of you, all my plan is ruined...

monday...

that is the day i hope to sign off

the only thing missing is the exact date..

so monday, i'll be hearing that word a lot from now on.

when i die

2011-01-17T22:36:00.001+08:00

"When I Die"

Now I have finally accepted
We will never stand in the same room
I can never hear your voice of reason
At least you didn't, didn't feel a thing

When I was younger you would tell me
That I should wait to grow up
That things don't go always as planned
At least you didn't, didn't feel a thing

No you didn't didn't have to feel a thing
No you didn't feel

When I die I'll be fine
Cause I know you're always there
When I die I'm alright
Cause I know you'll be there
You are home

Now I'm standing at a crossroad
Don't know which path is calling me
I wanna follow in your footsteps
So you know you're never alone

No you didn't have to feel a thing
No you're never alone

I'm still here but I'm waiting
For our long conversations
I'm still here but I'm waiting to go home

No you didn't didn't have to feel a thing
You are home

I miss her.

2011-01-08T00:22:00.001+08:00

Its nearly 3 months since I last saw her. Only god knows how much I
miss her. I wish that I could be with her & yet I'm here in vietnam. I
miss those day to day text messaging, those calls I made to her just
to hear her voice. I miss going on a date with her. But, the thing I'm
not gonna see is that, I'm not gonna see her wearing a long dress. She
told me she have a dinner tomorrow night & gonna wear a long dress. I
myself have never seen her in one those. I bet she look really
beautiful n charming in it together with the make up & everything. I
hope you are reading this cause I miss u so much my liyana.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Regards,
Redzwan Rustam

Is No news, good news?

2011-01-07T17:52:00.001+08:00

There is a silence from the management since before xmas. I wonder are
they still working or the office have been shut down n we are left
dangling here. Hmm. I wonder.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Regards,
Redzwan Rustam

Hublot

2011-01-05T00:52:00.001+08:00

One of the makes of watches that I'm interested in, particularly the
hublot aryton senna edition & the hublot maradona edition. I wish that
I could have either one of these.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Regards,
Redzwan Rustam

Counting days

2010-12-29T12:30:00.001+08:00

After months at sea n days of towing. I'm safele now in vietnam after
delivering the barge for crane replacement.

From now on its counting days for me. Hope it will be a smooth sailing
till the middle of january. Can't wait to get back home. Damn, I miss
her so much.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Regards,
Redzwan Rustam

Gran Turismo 5

2010-12-13T16:00:00.000+08:00

Finally, what I've been waiting for. Bought this in spore. Can't wait to get back home n test it with my G27 steering wheel.

This is a so called collectors pack. It consist of a game cd, a booklet titled APEX, an artwork card with redemption code that gets you a special edition car according to your artwork & a die cast car model. For my pack, I got a mercedes SLS AMG.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Superstar virgo

2010-12-09T16:51:00.000+08:00

I spotted this ship yesterday as she was going alongside her berth. One day, I'll be on board as an engineer.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

2010-12-09T12:07:00.001+08:00

Chart work.

2010-11-14T01:15:00.000+08:00

Plotting the chart for our waypoint to KSB.
regards,
Redzwan Rustam

Salvaging Setia Wangsa

2010-11-14T00:54:00.000+08:00

We are called to barge T10 to help setia wanga as she is unable to get out due to strong currents & some minor problem with her thruster. My vessel had to tow her out from there.
regards,

Redzwan Rustam

End of charter

2010-11-07T18:48:00.001+08:00

End of charter with carigali n then to singapore for repairs. Next location is kakinada india. I was hoping that the ship won't go there as I hv bad experiences when I was there some years back. But. What can I do?

regards,

Redzwan Rustam

Held back

2010-11-01T20:45:00.001+08:00

These few days, all of the supply boat operating in the kemaman area are held back due to heavy weather n a typhoon warning have been issued. With wind speed at 25 knots & gusting to 35 knots, all ships are advised not to engage in any activities.
regards,

Redzwan Rustam

Another day at the office.

2010-10-23T00:59:00.000+08:00

This picture was taken by my oiler when we were doing maintenance on the starboard main engine sea water pump.

I was below the floor plates of the engine room trying to remove a piece of bolt that connects the pump to the gearing mechanism. It was a mess. I came out covered in dirt n grime. I guess its just another day at the office.
Regards,
Redzwan Rustam

Cakerawala

2010-10-21T12:30:00.000+08:00

This is the cakerawala oilfield off the coast of kelantan. The sight at sunset is beautiful. Sorry for the low quality picture. Its taken frm my phone. This oilfield is run by petronas.

Seeing this beautiful sunset remind me of my baby liyana.
Regards,
Redzwan Rustam

Shitty day

2010-09-27T04:37:00.002+08:00

Its a shitty day yesterday. All gloomy n filled with sadness. Everything doesn't turn out as planned. Its raining all day. Can't blame it on d weather rite? I hope & pray that when the sun rise on monday, I can settle this.

There is something bout nur liyana, she's a wonderful person. That's why I love her so much. I really miss her. I hope that I get to spend my remaining days by her side.

To liyana;
I love u so much. And thank you for loving me back. Wishing that we are together till d end.