A Solo Parent

2015-05-25T05:28:00.002-07:00

I'm proud to be an American. Thank you to all those who have served, are currently serving & to those who have paid the ultimate price for freedom.

2015-05-25T05:14:00.001-07:00

Balancing work life, home life and "me time" is a challenge we all face. It is important though that we take time for ourselves to rejuvenate or we will be no good to anyone let alone ourselves. Taking even 5 minutes to just "breathe" can make all the difference in the world.

August 27, 2013

2013-08-27T08:09:00.005-07:00

There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul
than the way in which it treats its children.
- Nelson Mandela

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children:
One is roots, the other is wings.
- Hodding Carter

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.
- Bruce Barton

August 24, 2013

2013-08-24T07:25:00.002-07:00

I will be disabling the Back to School Tips page after Labor Day, September 2, 2013. For some really great Tips and information, visit my Back to School Tips page or Resources for Education.

Just for Fun

Teacher: Name one important thing we have today that we didn't have 10 years ago.

Brian: Me!

Worth Quoting

"Life doesn't require that we be the best, only that we try our best.: - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Better Concentration

Looking for a fun way to improve your youngster's concentration? Try this quick game. The first player makes one motion, like clapping or spinning around. The second person copies him and adds another movement. Continue adding new motions until someone forgets the sequence. The last player to get it right starts a new game.

Visit my Back to School Tips page for more information.

SingleParentDad

2013-08-23T06:49:00.001-07:00

SingleParentDad

I love this! What word best describes you? As single parents, I'm sure we can all come up with a host of very descriptive words. I completely agree with Ian at Single Parent Dad wherein he describes himself as "adaptable". How true that word is for us as single parents as well as human beings. We all adapt to the constant change of life although sometimes it takes longer than others. Read Ian's blog post for his uplifting thoughts.

August 22, 2013

2013-08-22T05:42:00.005-07:00

What a difference starting the day on a positive note makes! Yesterday morning being the first day of school, I wanted to make it extra special for my son so I wrote little notes expressing my love for him and telling him how proud I am of him and left them all over the house, car and his lunch. I made him a special breakfast of pancakes that were shaped in the number grade he entered and thoroughly surprised him. When he returned home from school, he expressed that it was the BEST first day of school he ever had. How warm and happy that made me feel. Just going that little bit further, doing that little bit extra than I have in years past, made all the difference in the world to him. Starting the day with that extra special touch set the tone for a great first day of school. I plan to incorporate that "little extra" on a regular basis to continue to let him know how much I love him and how proud I am of him; things that I ALWAYS think but may not always necessarily say. Our children need to hear those warm feelings of love and appreciation and, as a matter of fact, we all do.

August 21, 2013

2013-08-21T04:11:00.000-07:00

It's the FIRST day of school!

August 20, 2013

2013-08-20T19:24:00.001-07:00

It's officially, once again, a school night and for me it is a bittersweet feeling. I love having my son home and can't believe how quick he is growing up. It's an exciting time as the kids go back to school to learn new things and explore in more detail the world around them. I can't wait to see what this new school year brings.

What Do You See?

2013-08-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

We don't see things as they are,
we see things as we are.
- Anaïs Nin

The question is not what you look at, but what you see.
- Henry David Thoreau

People only see what they are prepared to see.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your point of view sets you up well in advance
for how you view the events as they unfold.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The world will persist in exhibiting before you
what you persist in affirming the world is.
- Emma Curtis Hopkins

What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
- John Lubbock

We see what we expect to see.
If we believe the world to be violent and ugly,
we see violence and ugliness.
If we believe the world to be a gift,
we see rainbows, and butterflies, and smiles,
and hear babies cooing, and roosters greeting the dawn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

August 19, 2013 - Back to School

2013-08-19T10:56:00.001-07:00

School starts this week and so I thought I'd share some thoughts on helping our kids make a smooth transition from summer vacation back to school.

Leave a note - why not start the day with a note on the mirror in the bathroom or your child's room? Write it on a piece of paper and tape it to the mirror, write it in lipstick, soap or dry erase marker. Let your child know how much you love them and how proud you are of them. What a great way to wake up and start the first day of school that can otherwise be scary, stressful or hard.
Decorate their breakfast - instead of cereal, why not get up a bit earlier and take the time to make the kids eggs or pancakes that are shaped into the number of the grade they are entering? Put a candle in it. Write a note wishing them a great first day of school. Why not do a little something extra to make their first breakfast for their first day of school just a little extra special?
Decorate the car - put streamers or balloons on or in the car. Write a fun message on the window of the car. The kids will either think it's the most embarrassing ride to school or the coolest ride ever.
Send a secret encouraging note - my son really enjoys this. I will occasionally put a little note in his lunch telling him I love him and how proud I am of him. Write something fun and uplifting. If your child buys their lunch, then slip a little note into their backpack instead.
Make lunch more interesting - lunch time sometimes brings stress. For younger kids, some schools will allow parents to eat lunch with their children. Bring in a pizza or sandwiches and enjoy lunch with them at school. If schedules do not allow for this, then you will have to get a bit more creative. Try cutting their fruit into puzzle piece shapes.
Welcome your child home - make a big sign saying welcome home and hang it where they can see it immediately upon returning home. Write in chalk on the driveway or sidewalk.

We can all remember those school days and the different feelings and emotions it brings. Why not offer a little encouragement and excitement to make your child smile.

August 17, 2013

2013-08-17T20:04:00.004-07:00

It has been an extremely long day and time got away from me. Getting my son ready for school for this coming week. I hope that everyone is having a great weekend and enjoying time with their kids. I will write again on Monday.

August 16, 2013

2013-08-16T08:58:00.001-07:00

As a single parent, I often wonder if anyone is as confused and uncertain about the future and where they are headed in a career and taking care of the family as the head of the household as me. I currently do not have a degree, but am working to complete a double major in International Studies (Spanish) and Business Marketing. Nothing good is easy they say and a journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step is another saying I often hear but I find myself so often saying when am I going to catch a break? I think I'm making the right choices for myself and my son and I find that I am so often met with roadblocks and challenges. I know however that failure only occurs when we stop trying. Everyone has niche but the trouble sometimes is finding it. I have found that to be the case for myself anyway. I have also heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. If that is the case then, how does someone know when "enough is enough" and it's time to go a different route? I want the best possible life for myself and my son and a career that I feel rewarded and happy doing but for me the question remains, what exactly is that? What exactly should I be doing?

I wonder if I am alone in feeling this way? I wonder if any other single parents feel the way that I do?

August 15, 2013

2013-08-15T19:46:00.001-07:00

We are now on the downward spiral to the start of school and the end of summer. Where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday my son was getting out of school and we were looking forward to the long summer and the fun of outside activities it brings. Now we are watching pre-season football and buying shoes for school instead of sandals. Life moves at lighting speed and the older we get the faster it seems to go. I enjoy having my son home and it's a bittersweet feeling for me to have him returning to school next week.

August 14, 2013

2013-08-14T05:32:00.000-07:00

If you are in the midst of a divorce or are already divorced and are dealing with the aftermath, it can be an extremely emotional and trying time. While we struggle to understand what has happened and pick up the pieces of our shattered lives and families we attempt to move forward. I've often said to those around me, you do not know what it is like to walk in my shoes. Although two divorced people may be able to share and relate, no two people feel the same and can truly know what the other feels inside. Support from family and friends is essential in these most trying of times. We are told we will "get through this" and "kids are resilient, they will bounce back" but it pains my heart that anyone--especially the innocent children have to be put through and subject to a divorce. We, as parents, always hope that our children who are hurting and suffering the trauma of a divorce will get through it with little pain and scars. While kids do learn how to adapt to the divorce and trauma that it brings, they still need our help to get through it. Kids grieve so many losses as the result of a divorce. One parent will move out and possibly away, depending on the financial situation, the child may be forced to move to a new home, school and surrounding. Friendships sometimes change, the custodial parent may find themselves hurt and angry. All sense of security has been compromised.

There is no easy answer and unfortunately for those of us who have found ourselves in it, we must go through it to get to the other side. There is no way around it. I have found that divorce support groups help as people sit together and openly talk. Individual, one on one counseling is another great resource. Surrounding ourselves with our children who at this moment need us the most and even our family and friends can do wonders for a hurting heart. Faith and the written word can heal us spiritually.

August 13, 2013

2013-08-13T18:58:00.001-07:00

For me, being a single parent is a constant struggle. There is always something that puts a great deal of pressure and worry on me. I know that everyone has worries and struggles but the fact remains that when you are a single parent, you bear the weight alone and it can be very difficult. I am currently getting my son ready for school as I know all parents are. The amount of money it takes to raise a child is certainly more than the child support received and when it comes to additional costs such as getting ready for school the worry builds. My son goes to a private school so there is always a monthly tuition bill on top of the cost of uniforms, shoes, books and school supplies. All things that all parents have to deal with. Whether a private or public school the same amount of money for clothes, shoes and books must be paid out. So much of the financial worry causes sleepless nights which makes for sleepy days. I often wonder if the burden will ever become lighter but for now, I like everyone, must press on

Please share your stories, thoughts, comments and opinions with me my dear readers. We are not alone in these struggles and we can all learn from and help each other.

August 12, 2013

2013-08-12T11:14:00.000-07:00

Each day, much more good happens than bad.
More babies born than people killed,
more people well fed than hungry,
more people housed than homeless,
more people with jobs than jobless,
more people healthy than sick,
more reasons to thank God than to curse Him.
Yet, especially when watching the "news,"
people focus almost entirely on the negative.
Let's turn that around.
Focus on the positive.
Be grateful for life's many blessings.

-Unknown

As I was pondering on what to write today, I came across this poem. What great, but yet, hard advice. Focus on the positive. For myself, when life weighs down on me, lack of money, no mate and disagreements with my son's father in how to raise him, I cannot help but feel down. It seems that the more I notice or focus on those "bad" things or things that are difficult, the more they manifest, become visible and the more "struggles" appear. The flipside of this I have found is that when I take even a brief moment to notice or focus on the positive, the more of those "good" things and experiences appear. I've also learned that this process of focusing on the positive is something that must be learned and kept in the forefront of our minds constantly. It is something that takes a constant effort to maintain, but the benefits of doing so far outweigh focusing on the negative.

August 10, 2013

2013-08-10T06:04:00.003-07:00

It is a new day. Please share with me what you will be doing to enjoy the day. I'd love to hear from you my dear readers. This moment is the only we one we are ever guaranteed.

Life is for participating, not for spectating.
- Kathrine Switzer

August 9, 2013

2013-08-09T13:40:00.000-07:00

Single parent families in general deal with so much more than a 2-parent household. While the issue of financial stress is higher, there are much deeper and more stressful issues than just simply financial problems. Those problems however coupled with the stress of a lack of income or financial stability can wreck havoc on a single parent family. The issue of visitation and sharing time between the 2 parents/families and ongoing conflict that often continues between the parents after a divorce or separation can cause deep stress and pain not only for the parents, but more specifically for the child who, in the end, loves both parents and wants to spend time with each of them. I can't imagine what a child must truly think and feel. For those kids that are too small to understand and to express their feelings the trauma has got to be unbearable. It has been my experience that an outside source such as a counselor, priest, doctor or other healthcare professional trained in psychological and mental health issues that can arise from these types of circumstances can be very beneficial. My son and I both have visited with doctors and counselors throughout the years when things seemed too difficult to bear or we simply just needed to talk. In this type of setting, we were able to openly express our thoughts and feelings and often times were provided with not only an outlet to speak but given a new perspective or way to look at things which ultimately provided an avenue for healing.

August 8, 2013

2013-08-08T05:33:00.002-07:00

I'd love to hear from you my dear readers.

Is there something specific you are looking to get answers to?

A particular subject you'd like me to write about?

Do you have thoughts, tips or suggestions you'd like to share?

This blog that I share is simply that-sharing my thoughts, feelings, opinions, experiences, struggles, suggestions, etc. as a single parent and a place where I'd like you to feel comfortable to share as well.

We can learn from and help each other.

Please feel free to write. I'd love to hear from you!

August 7, 2013

2013-08-07T08:17:00.002-07:00

A new school year is fast approaching. Our lives will soon change when our kids go back to school and the routine we've grown accustomed to over the last few months will change once again. One of the things I've started slowly changing now to get us, and more specifically my son, more acclimated to the early morning hours once again is getting to bed earlier and thus up in the morning earlier. It is so easy to fall out of the routine of early mornings and early bed times once school ends and it's always a bit of challenge to change the habits we've quickly developed and become so used to. It has been said that a steady consistent bedtime and awaking time is key for a healthy life. Well rested kids have more energy, have better focus, do better in school and can more easily fight off germs and infections.

August 6, 2013

2013-08-06T10:29:00.000-07:00

I've been away for 2 days and it's good to be back. I try to keep Sunday as the day it is intended--as a day of rest! I typically will not work/post on Sundays. Yesterday was a day where I worked helping a friend. I enjoy doing for others and teaching that value to my son. I so often remind him that the reason we are here on earth is to serve God and we do this by serving others; and that this life we have been blessed with is "not about us" it's about OTHERS. It certainly is a hard concept to remember and live by when living in such a commercialized and "me" world. We are constantly bombarded by ads, t.v., media, etc. and the "what's in it for me" mentality that has run ramped in our society and the world around us. It only takes one person however to start a change and make a difference. To quote the words of Mahatma Gandhi, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

August 3, 2013

2013-08-03T19:44:00.000-07:00

Today I got to participate in something completely wonderful. I'd like to share that I worked with a great group of my fellow parishioners doing a rehab project for Habitat For Humanity. What an absolutely awesome and rewarding experience and way to give back. I wish my son could have participated but because he is only 10, he was not allowed; for obvious safety reasons.

Please share some of your experiences and ways of giving back. I would love to hear from you.

August 2, 2013

2013-08-02T09:36:00.000-07:00

Being a single parent, I've often found myself feeling the "weight of the world" on my shoulders. Providing a good, loving and nurturing environment, positive example, enough food and clothes and a good education is a lot for one person to carry. I truly have come to believe though that we are not given any more than we can handle and we are never really alone. For me, I have had a strong Christian upbringing and I know that this has helped me in my darkest days even though maybe it did not seem like it at the time.

Back To School

2013-08-01T20:12:00.002-07:00

Visit my page daily for updates - News-Tips-Supplies - now through August 31st.

August 1, 2013

2013-08-01T19:11:00.000-07:00

The kids will be starting school in just a few short weeks. I can't for the life of me understand where the summer has gone?! I enjoy so much when my son is home. He is the bright spot in my life. He is going into 5th grade and like I question where the summer has gone, I look at him and say where did the last 10 years go?! I remember holding him in my arms immediately after he was born and now he stands as tall as my chin! It's wonderful being a parent and watching the best part of myself walking around.