I recently wrote an article for Pick the Brain titled, The Strength to Overome. I would highly recommend it for anyone going through a difficult situation.

Photo By Hans Hamburger

Have you ever wished for the dream job, planned how to lose weight, considered how you could make more money, dreamed about the day your kids would listen to you, thought about starting your own business, hoped your relationship would get better, or just desired more than what you currently have in every aspect of your life?

I have.

In fact it has become almost a daily practice. I think it is in our genetic make-up to go through a process that generates this desire to want to continually improve. We are constantly making conscious or unconscious decisions to change, to get better, to improve who we are. This is why we get sad when things don’t go our way, feel defeated every time we fail, and get depressed when our actual lives don’t live up to our life plans. People want to get better, become smarter, and have more personal success.

If you don’t believe me consider modern science and how new discoveries are being made everyday. Look at Olympic sports where the athletes are getting faster and faster every year destroying previous world records. Consider the influx of cellular devices into everyday life like the iPhone where you can say requests and the AI (artificial intelligence) can respond. In all honesty the rate at which the world is changing is alarming, but that’s not my point.

In order to keep pace with this changing world, we have to make sure that we are taking the personal steps to improve the quality of our own lives. How do we make those steps? We have to learn to put activity over intention.

Intention

There was a young man with such a superior intellect that he was praised all throughout his high school and college tenure. His future was bright and his potential was limitless. After graduation, he was to begin the process of getting a job in the best industry in the world to him, the automotive industry. He dreamed of designing the next great SUV with better fuel economy than a Honda Accord.

There were countless nights that he sketched out design concepts and brainstormed on materials and the necessary technology to make this idea come to pass. From his education he had the credentials and his peers were excited about his prospects. Finally the day came for him to apply at the company he loved. He impressed the executives with his interview abilities and company knowledge. Yet, he failed to even get hired in at an entry level position.

For the next few years, while living under his parent’s roof, he worked small odd jobs not related to his field of interest to pay down his student loans. The phone constantly was ringing as Sallie Mae tried to account for his income and get him in a payment plan. Acquaintances who were there praising him before, are now avoiding him and speaking poorly of him behind his back. He is not the same person anymore as his failures are now amassing and his self esteem is gradually disappearing. The very clothing that he once took pride in are now deteriorating and personal hygiene is no longer a priority.

Everyday he goes to work at a job that he is overqualified for on paper. The people who he works with deal with him complaining about his situation, blaming his professors for not providing him with the appropriate context to land the job, and talking about how he was going to change the world with his invention. He talked, dreamed, complained, planned, considered and thought.

Many years went by while he continually shared with the world his intentions. A great way to recognize an intention is when your thought or statement includes any of the following words:

-Plan
-Hope
-Wish
-Thinking
-Dreaming

Activity

Another young man, who was no where near exceptional by any standard, finished high school and enrolled at the local university. He barely completed a Bachelors degree program but excelled in his career related courses. After graduation he was excited about an opening at a major technology company he had dreamed of working for. To prepare for the opportunity, he updated his resume’, expanded his network, and finally submitted for the position. With all of the work that he put in, he felt like he was guaranteed the job.

The job is offered to someone who is more qualified with more related work experience.

Devastated by the news he goes through a period of depression and does not look for work for weeks. One day while reflecting on his interview, he remembers the reason why he was not offered the job. It wasn’t because he lacked talent, drive, or ability. He wasn’t offered the job because he lacked experience. This young man, armed with this knowledge went and found a way to gather the experience he needed to get the job he wanted.

It wasn’t easy. For 5 years he worked in a retail environment not related to his field to pay the bills. However, when he got off of work, he volunteered at his local community center improving their technical interface and teaching computer literacy to the elderly. He interned at local technology firms doing the grunt work no one else wanted to do. He found a mentor who was successful in the field he wanted to work in and created an organization for interested professionals looking to get in that line of work.

Within 10 years instead of working for his dream company, he had started his own company and gave birth to a new dream. This was done through the connections and experience he gained preparing for the job he thought he wanted.

Activity set him up and set him apart.

Activity Vs. Intention

Knowing what you want in today’s world is not going to be enough to get you what you want. Intention is a plan or a course of actions that one hopes to take. However, intention is not action. I could have the greatest strategy in the world to start my own business but if I don’t act it out I will never make a dime. I could intend to lose weight but if I don’t work out, I won’t lose a pound. I could plan on having a long healthy marriage but if I don’t talk to my wife I will end up alone.

To improve the quality of our lives, we have to stop planning and start doing. Home Depot gets it. I am a firm believer that if anyone wants something to come to pass, they have to make it happen. You can make it happen. Don’t give up on getting that promotion. Don’t allow your kids to run your house. Don’t let your past hold you hostage. Don’t let unemployment ruin your self esteem. Start doing the actions necessary to get you the life you want. If you want your life to change, CHANGE IT!

Focus on actions over intentions.

Be like the second young man. Do something that will improve your life. Spend your days focusing on activity over intentions. I have nothing but faith in you. And if you need some help, you know where to find me.

Photo by JetAlone

I sat at my desk staring at the screen, waiting patiently for the numbers located in the bottom right hand corner to change. To my amazement, it seems that every 60 seconds I was rewarded by the increase of one digit on the clock. The challenge was, it slowly went from 8:00 a.m. to 8:05 a.m. while my eyes were stuck on it. My shift had just begun. How in the world could the beginning of my day be so painfully torturous? The only thing worse than punching in was hearing the blaring alarm clock at the very beginning of the day to start it.

Am I the Only One Who Hates My Job?

For a while, I thought it was just me. I thought I was the only one who went through the day in a zombie like state with only the occasional cup of coffee to give me the temporary feeling of being alive. I thought I was the only one on twitter updating the world about which buttons I was currently pushing on my keyboard. I thought I was the only one who updated my Facebook status during the day talking about how much I would like to be off work.

You Hate Your Job Too

Come to find out I am not alone. There are tons of people just like me that enjoy the 5 minutes just before lunch, you know the time where you start to packing up your things before it’s really time to go. There are others who spend time looking at the pictures on failblog.org and watching random videos on YouTube. Did you see the one about the cat playing the piano? There are people just like me who stare at the pictures on their desk searching for an escape that won’t materialize until it’s quitting time.

How did so many of us end up like this?

How Did We Get Stuck With Jobs We Hate?

Maybe we chose the wrong career path. I mean lets be honest, people take jobs because they need money, not because of some deep rooted dream to be a part of an employment community. The truth is student loans need to be paid, mouths need to be feed, kids extra curricular activities need sponsorship, and poor spending habits have to be supported. Not everyone of us have been in the position where we can negotiate salary. We reserve that for people who have arrived. In fact most of the early jobs I had, I was just excited to be on payroll.

The State of Job Dissatisfaction

Stuck in this state, where life seems like a never ending repetitious cycle where things don’t get better but remain the same, people continually choose to go about never doing anything to change their situations. Instead of doing something, we sit at our desks dead to the world and the people around us, going through the motions. We long for breaks and gossip because we can’t stand to actually pay attention to the place and state we are in. We look to 5 Hour Energy, coffee and Red bull to wake us up from a comma. That’s not gonna cut it.

Yet day by day many don’t do anything to change it.

The Sucky Job Dilemma

Well I have something I must tell you…. As long as you are comfortable where you are, you are never going to feel pressured to move. If you are not doing anything to improve your life or career don’t be shocked to be in the same place in 10 years.

If you are comfortable living from check to check, keep staring at the clock at the bottom of the screen.

If you don’t mind allowing others to make the rules and enjoy office politics where you are constantly the overlooked employee, continue complaining about how much you hate your job.

If you don’t want to make any progress in your life, keep sitting in your seat and doing nothing.

The Career Antidote

Take a risk. Take a chance. Don’t let things remain the same. Be bold enough to go after the things you really want. Why? Because the cost of doing nothing is more than anyone should be willing to pay. Take OWNERSHIP of your career and your life.

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We all have dreams. There are many things in our lives that we all want to accomplish. But, are we putting the right energy in to reach them for the right reasons? Are our dreams truly our own or are they being established by others?

Chasing the Dream

I must admit, I actually would prefer to write for a living than get up and go to work four days a week for 10 hours a day. I mean who wouldn’t want to sit around all day using their imagination and creativity to write amazing novel after novel with words so powerful that they are quoted for generations to come. At least in my limited view, being a professional writer would be a dream.

However, in reality, I must do what I need to do to provide for my family. Becoming a best selling author is kind of like making it to the NBA, limited. I mean there are thousands of people who write and self publish books every year and only a select few actually make enough to pay for their publishing costs. In fact, there are people with garages full of books with no outlet to sell them.

A Life Without Dreams

Even in the midst of these hope destroying facts, the truth of the matter is a life is pointless without dreams. If I walked around thinking my purpose was to answer emails for a living, that wouldn’t give me much hope for my future. I would die unsatisfied and unfulfilled. The raw emotion of knowing that I have no hope for things to get better would put me in an early grave.

Imagine if you woke up and knew that no matter what great things happened today to set you up for a prosperous future, tomorrow would be exactly the same. What if you were destined to repeat the same day and events for all eternity? You would forever see the same sights, talk to the same people, do the same things, and act the same way. You would exist in a permanent state a stagnation festering long enough only to form bacteria and become a parasite in your own life and the lives of others.

The Current State of Dreamers

Sadly, this is the very state at which many of us choose to live our lives. So many people don’t take the time to dream. And if we do dream, we spend most of our time chasing after the wrong dream. So many people have been stuck in this demoralizing, life limiting state of being, that the highest point of their day has become complaining about their lives to the people around them. Their lack of hope attaches to the closest person and slowly drains the life force out of others like a leach.

Have you ever had a conversation with a person on a great day and afterward felt exhausted and depressed?

The Valuation of the Right Dream

To me, a dream is something that is realistic, attainable, and long lasting. I dream in Real D. I don’t find a benefit in wasting time chasing after things that others have deemed as valuable in my life. God is the appraiser of my future, not a room full of marketers telling me I need to buy more stuff. I don’t need a label to prove my self worth and my joy isn’t tied to my processions.

Instead I dream of a day where I can use my ability to tell a story to change the lives of the people who read it. I want to encourage people that there is a life beyond their struggles and a fulfillment that can’t be obtained by sweating the small stuff. I want to inspire my son to dream beyond being a professional athlete or an entertainer. Why? Because these dreams don’t last a lifetime.

A Dream Based on Well Being and Not Possessions

When you dream, you should be envisioning what you hope for in your future. You should imagine a changed, wiser, and more fulfilled you. The future should be brighter with you living with more confidence, helping others achieve their dreams, and being at peace with who and what you are. Is this how you see yourself in your dreams?

I think many people dream about having a big house, expensive cars, fancy clothes, and name brand curtains. Instead of focusing on their well being, they focus on stuff. They spend their entire life wanting more and when they get it, they are only introduced to more desires and an unquenchable lust for more power and accomplishments. To me that’s not a dream, its a curse.

The Dream Challenge

As you go through the rest of your life, I challenge you to take a closer look at the dreams and the things you are chasing after. Align your life to a purpose beyond possessions and watch how your potential future changes your present.

Are you chasing the right dream?

There he sat surrounded by people who hate him. As his eyes peered through the room, he was unable to locate one friendly, happy or smiling face. How did this happen? How did a desire to want to improve his life enrage so many others? Why did trying hard to excel, make him an outcast? Since when did doing the right thing become a crime?

The environment that he is a part of is hostile. There is not a safe place in site. As he sits at his desk, he feels eyes staring at him, judging him, looking for an opportunity to capitalize on his failures. Every time he speaks eyes begin to roll, people begin to whisper, and people look for amusement in their cell phones or other electronic devices. He is constantly the target of ridicule when things go wrong and the last to get the credit when things go right.

The sad reality is that this is not a new occurrence. For years he has been in a place where one wrong move can lead to his catastrophic downfall. For years he has been in a place where everyone is rooting for him to fail. However, day after day he remains.

Why?

It’s not for selfish pride or a love to be ridiculed. It’s not because he is made of steel and the words and actions of others bounce off of his cold hard exterior. It is because of a purpose. There is a reason he is in this place that is larger and more important than the fear and pain he goes through on a daily basis.

It’s hard to imagine constantly being in a place where you are not wanted. This is a place where your car gets keyed, tires get slashed, keyboards disappear, electronic calendars get erased, conference calls get rescheduled and you aren’t notified, and personal client databases somehow disappear. Even in spite of all this, he shows up and thrives while surviving in a hostile work environment.

How is this possible? When the world is against him, how does he find the strength to stand?

I’ll tell you how…

Courage

It’s easy to make a stand when you have the consensus behind you. However, having courage means being able to stand for what’s right no matter what the consequences of your actions may be.

Faith

You have to know that you are making a difference. Even in the midst of adversity you are never standing alone, if you are doing what is right. You have to believe that your actions are setting the tone for a future generation and sending a message that injustice will not be tolerated.

Purpose

When you stand, don’t stand without a cause. What sense does it make to fight for something you don’t believe in? When you find yourself in a hostile situation attach your courage and faith to a purpose and you will be given the strength to go on.

If you want to learn more about thriving and surviving in a hostile environment, read about the Little Rock Nine. Their story changed my life.

Howdy A Spark Starts Fam!

First off I would like to apologize for my extended absence. Life has forced me to make some necessary adjustments to tend to matters that were really important. With that said, I promise my absence will not be prolonged. I will be back stronger than ever with some great content and a new look. Thanks to all of you who checked up on me while I was out. (That was only two people. You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. I could have been dead.)

Anyway, I popped out here today to share some huge developments with you guys. Jermaine, my brother in law and partner here on A Spark Starts, has recently ventured on to his very own site. It is a site full of spiritual inspiration and was officially launched on January 1st 2012. I couldn’t be more excited and relieved because I was having a hard time competing with his depth of writing.

Jermaine has decided to go strictly spiritual and is ready to answer questions and talk about his life and pursuit to follow Christ. If you are a Christian or not, you have to check out what he has in store on his site. I promise you will not be disappointed. Now his site shouldn’t be very hard to find. In fact it is a simple as taking my domain and changing the ending to .net. That’s right! He is now running asparkstarts.net. Go check it out ASAP!!!

As for me and my new found freedom. I don’t know what to do next. Just be aware that the quality of content will be greatly diminished without the need to impress my counterpart. Just kidding!! The last thing I want to do is give my few readers a reason not to come back.

So, for all the days and weeks I have missed. I want to wish everyone a Merry Happy Christmas New Years Kwanza Hanukah Event day.

Didn’t you miss me?

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