A Step In the Wright Direction

Beer and Waffles

2011-06-05T19:25:00.005-04:00

After bidding a fond farewell to the Venice of the North, we ventured south for a quick overnight stop in Bruges (like the movie...get it?). It's a bad ass little city that really does make you feel like you're walking on a movie set. Beautiful architecture, funky shops, quaint houses, and lots of fun watering holes that serve endless varieties of delicious beer. After walking around town for a bit in the afternoon, I partook in a fun little beer tasting event at the hostel. Unfortunately, my travel companion is an avid non-beer drinker so I was flying solo in this adventure...or so I thought (more on that earth shattering news to follow). I had the pleasure of testing 6 different varieties of beer and not only did I enjoy all of them, I also made a few pals in the process. We drank and danced the night away, I almost incited an international incident (involving a mistaken case of snack mix theft), we fled the scene of the alleged crime, and all was right with the world.

Bruges, in pictures:

Hey, Bruges. I like you a whole lot.

Basilica of the Holy Blood, where a vial of Jesus' blood is said to be housed. We didn't actually see it, but I heard one report that it looks like beef jerky.

Lions and the Bruges coat of arms and bears, oh my!

Pretty city

Weird nubbin trees

This is Chas, world renowned beer hater, moments before taking a sip of the beer he was peer-pressured into ordering...

And here he is post-sip! That's one satisfied customer. A momentous occasion to be sure.

One fun thing about Belgian beers is that they all come in their own unique glass that is designed to maximize the flavor of the beer. Here is an especially awesome one.

The rag tag Bruges wrecking crew. Two Americans, two Aussies and a Brit. A winning combination to be sure.

Wall of Beer. Be still my heart.

Delirium. Or should I say DeliriYUM? Hahaha, that was terrible. Sorry.

Duvel translates to devil. So when you get drunk off of this you can just tell people that the devil made you do it.

Oh yeah, Belgium also produces delicious waffles.

And chocolate, if you're into that sort of thing.

After we left Bruges, we took a train to Brussels to catch a flight to Edinburgh, Scotland. Chas was gracious enough to give me this really amazing window seat. The views were spectacular.

Although our time in Bruges was brief, the impression it left was quite large. While I wish we would have had more time there, I kind of like the fact that it was such a whirlwind experience. Only scratched the surface of what the city has to offer, but that just means there will be plenty of things left to explore the next time I visit.

Next stop: Scotland....

Amsterdam the Man!

2011-06-05T17:23:00.000-04:00

Top of the mornin to ya!

Coming to you live and in color from the bustling metropolis of Dublin, Ireland. I offer my sincerest apologies to those of you who might have taken the time between posts to mean that I had been arrested, hospitalized, and/or kidnapped. Miraculously, none of those things are true. The reality is that when you're exploring new and exciting lands with your pals, there isn't much time for quiet reflection and bloggery. But fear not because I'm here to start making up for lost time. I've got four countries to recap so I'll probably be breaking it up into a riveting quadrangle of fun. Let's get crackin, shall we?

Ok, so after I departed Prague, I spent a few days exploring the countryside of the Netherlands and then made my way to Amsterdam to meet up with Chuck Huck. Amsterdam is just about what you would expect - hookers dancing listlessly in red-lit windows, constant smell of weed wafting in the atmosphere, bikes everywhere, picturesque canals, etc. Although we both agreed that we were a few years past our prime in terms of being able to properly party there, we still had a great time and saw lots of ridiculous stuff. A few highlights:

As luck would have it, I arrived in Amsterdam on the day when Ajax, the local footy team won the Dutch title by defeating Twente by a score of 3-1. So it was like the Super Bowl of Holland and people were celebrating as such.

I was slightly concerned when drunk people started lighting flares...

But then I saw a big line of riot police and felt better.

The police diverted all pedestrian traffic leading back to my hostel about 2 miles out of the way, but had they not I probably would not have seen the Ajax team bus cruising by with all the players waving to their adoring fans. This picture doesn't really do the experience justice, but it was a pretty cool thing to witness totally by accident.

Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Charles Huckestein has just entered the building!

A fun game to play when you're traveling is to try to fit as many cultural icons/stereotypes as possible into one photograph. Here we see bikes, canals, and coffee shops.

Taking pictures of the prostitutes in the red light district is creepy and weird...so all you get is a picture of the Bananenbar. I can't say with any certainty what goes on there, but I'm pretty sure it's disgusting.

Artsy fartsy shot from the gallery at the Weed Museum.

Who knew condoms could be used so creatively?

Here's a picture of huge flower bulbs for those of you who enjoy morally sound activities.

Biking in Vondelpark. I would venture to say that bikes outnumber people in Amsterdam.

If you want to keep a low profile and blend in with the locals, a good start is to wear a giant sombrero at a crappy Mexican restaurant.

Chas showing off our spacious digs aboard the Vita Nova houseboat/hostel.

In all my travels, I have noticed that the one beer that is available everywhere is Heineken. So that's nice for the Dutchies.

Home sweet home, the Vita Nova. If you ever stay here, make sure you book a room as far away from the bathrooms as humanly possible. You're welcome in advance.

So that wraps up the Amsterdam portion of things. It's definitely a place that everyone should visit at least once in their lives. Lots of fun stuff to see and things to do and experiences to be had. Oh and if you do go there, be prepared to get lost all the effin time. Canals are confusing.

Next stop: Belgium...

Prague Blog - The Big Finish

2011-05-21T18:29:00.000-04:00

And we're back! Turns out I'm a total liar and a few hours actually means a few days. Hopefully by this point you've had some time to recover from the first installment and haven't keeled over from all the excitement. Ready for more? Hold onto your hats...

Crazy Czech hooligans rooting on the Bohemian 1905 squad. As you will note by the packed stands, this is the hottest ticket in town.

Jorts and a man purse. Czech dudes are very fashion forward.

As you will note by the tightly clenched fist, Kel was fully prepared to engage in her first football-related brawl. Everyone was remarkably well behaved though. Bummer.

The Dancing House a.k.a. Fred and Ginger.

Baby got back. Life imitating art.

My new motto.

When you go to an Irish pub in Prague it's common practice for an old Welsh guy to draw indecipherable things on your ankle. Or so we were told.

When you go to the discotheque, it's common practice to dance on tables with weird bald guys and Jersey Shore lookalikes. Prague is wild!

Sunset over the Charles Bridge. It's famous for being cool.

Pretty

This is Urine Man, an endearing character who patroled the street below our apartment with a strange bizarro world kind of authority. He spends most of his days talking gibberish into a megaphone, scribbling secret notes in a tattered journal, taking shots of whiskey and somehow managing not to get arrested. Here he is giving directions to a businessman. Shortly after this was taken he probably peed his pants.

At the John Lennon wall. He looks like E.T. in this painting.

Travel buddies

This picture is in honor of legendary Pittsburgh vendor, Cotton Candy Man. He fully embodied the Yinzer Dream. RIP, good sir.

If there's one thing you should remember about Prague, it's Urine Man. So lest you forget, here he is again showing you how to properly ramble incoherently.

So there you have it. Prague is a beautiful city and a fantastic place to do dumb stuff with your buddy. We laughed, we cried, we ate disgusting local cuisine, and most importantly we drank lots of pilsner. Two enthusiastic thumbs up.

Stay tuned for more fun-filled adventures involving Dutch shenanigans, Belgian tomfoolery and Scottish hijinks....

The Prague Blog (with a side of Wien) - Part 1

2011-05-16T08:37:00.000-04:00

Greetings and Salutations from the upper deck of the Vita Nova, a houseboat hostel situated in one of Amsterdam's infamous canals! I am issuing this entry as an epic two-part series because I've got lots of pictures and uploading too many at one time makes my computer's brain hurt a lot. So please bear with me and don't be mad that the time between blogs has recently doubled. That's what happens when you're joined by a bunch of clowns and all they want to do is have fun with you. Again, life = hard.

Got to Holland a few days ago and was taken on a grand tour of the countryside for a few days by a native Dutchie. Quite a beautiful place full of flowers, cheese and beer. Can't go wrong with that combination. Today marks the reunion of two of the greatest pricing analysts in the history of WESCO, me and Mr. Charles J. Huckestein. We already walked through the red light district and took in some of the local sights and smells (get it?). Now that little jerk is taking a nap and I've got nothing better to do than entertain the masses with more tales of revelry.

My timeline is totally off these days because when you have travel buddies time flies by at a feverish pitch. So let's just say that I was in Vienna about 2 weeks ago. I feel slightly bad about my experince there because I was mostly using it as a time wasting stopover before I got to Praha and got to travel with a best bud who I will introduce you to in a little bit. But anyways, Vienna is really a beautiful city and I saw a lot of really cool buildings and monuments and museums and things of that nature. Unfortunately I don't really know what any of them were so instead of pretending that I do, let's just focus on funny stuff that I observed there:

Austrians sure know how to party

Weiner references everywhere! What a sick and twisted place

Surprisingly smart selection of music at this little shop

As I've mentioned before, I have the same sense of humor as a 13 year old boy so this is hilarious!

Mozart played with the Weiner Philharmoniker. Wait til the tabloids here about that one!

Creepy wax Mozart. He's probably thinking about Weiner related things.

All kidding aside, Vienna really is beautiful. This is evidence of the fact that my trip there involved more than just cheap penis jokes.

But not that much more. Haha. No comment.

So after I departed the most phallic city in the whole world, I hopped on a bus to a little place called Prague. Maybe you've heard of it? It's a lovely city full of gothic architecture, pilsner beer and parties all the time. It was in this cozy Czech hamlet that I was reunited with my wee little sidekick, Kelly. She is an international woman of mystery so I was honored to be able to travel alongside her for the week. Much like when my family met me in Croatia, I was overjoyed to see the familiar face of someone so dear to my heart. Throughout the course of the week did our best to set back US/Czech international relations at least several decades. I think we succeeded remarkably well. We stayed in a nice little apartment right off of the main square in the old town area so the location was ideal. Even so, we managed to get lost all the time. Czech street names are all Nastrikovy this and Zelenekaostriky that. Anyways we always made it home eventually. Here's what our adventure looked like:

The jetsetter cheesin in front of the main town square. That castle in the background was the inspiration for the Disney logo...or at least that's what we were told by someone with questionable credibility. So that may be a tremendous lie.

The world famous Astronomical Clock. People gather here at the top of every hour to see the most anti-climactic display I've ever seen. Some little skeleton dude pops out and his head moves about an inch in either direction and then some chimes play and then its over. Most people look bitterly disappointed when its over so that was more entertaining to watch.

Pilsner Urquell everywhere. Beer is cheaper than water and the people definitely make the most of that. I dug it.

Bird's eye view of the city. Bridges automatically make a place cooler.

What a diva. On an unrelated note, we noticed that the people of Prague were fascinated with two things: my hair and Kelly's mocassins. So from what we could gather, they were jealous.

Interior of the church on the grounds of the Presidential Palace. Very impressive place.

I'm going to get in trouble for posting this, but it's just too good not to share. A strip joint called Jag's? Are you kidding me? She's still waiting to hear back about the audition...

Just taking in some Czech football. No big deal.

Ok Part 1 is now over. Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion. Should be debuting in a few short hours. Or maybe longer. Only the wind knows for sure....

Dobar Donny enjoys sladoled at noon thirty...

2011-05-05T05:51:00.002-04:00

Guten Tag aus Osterreich!

I’m currently in Vienna or as the locals call it, Wien. This difference in spelling and pronunciation is worth noting because everything around town is called “Wiener” this and “Wiener” that. Seeing as how my sense of humor often mirrors that of a 13 year old boy, this is hilarious. We’ll get to that in a little bit, because there are many other things that must be discussed first.

So the past 10 days of life have been rather incredible as the majority of those days were devoted to some quality Wright family bonding. After a few days in Dubrovnik, me and the parentals ventured to a small town called Trogir where we met up with Randy. We spent a lazy afternoon strolling through the cobbled limestone streets and ended up at a restaurant right on the harbor, enjoying some ice cold Croatian pivos (beers), freshly fried calimari, and warm homemade bread. It was a rather fantastic beginning to the adventure that ensued. This is a journey best told through pictures, so here goes:

And here we see why Miss Ellen was never a bartender

After our bike fittings and warm up ride, we ended up at a little restaurant run by this man. His name is Mario. Here he is making a traditional Croatian meal called Peka. To make this deliciousness you pile a bunch of meat and potatoes in a big pot, cover that pot with a lid or "iron bell", pile on some hot coals and sip on some homemade brandy for a few hours while the meat cooks and the potatoes soak up all the glorious juices.

Lots of excellent seafood in Croatia. Here's an unlucky idiot who got caught and then ended up in my belly.

Hard to tell exactly whats going on in that pot, but rest assured it was incredibly tasty. This is what Peka looks like. I'm not one for superlatives, but somewhere in that sea of meat lies the most delicious potatoes I've ever tasted in my whole life.

Pretty much all of the places we visited were a variation of this. So I don't remember what this town was called, but in all likelihood it was quaint and beautiful.

Kids these days....

The mountains of Croatia are chocked full of limestone so it's used for many different purposes. Houses, streets, art, etc. In one of the little towns we visited we got to go inside a stonemason's school where high school aged kids got to go to study the art of cutting and shaping the limestone into a whole mess of different things. The barrels are the student's work spaces and the blocks of limestone are unfinished projects. Very impressive work that's done entirely by hand, without the aid of power tools/equipment.

This proves that we biked somewhere.

On the first full day of the tour, we biked over 30 miles. A good portion of that was an uphill, quad burning hell ride to a little mountain village where this lovely little couple lived. Our reward for accomplishing the climb was some homemade vino and olive oil, two of Croatia's most popular products.

Day 2 started with a 10k downhill ride. Hence the smiles....

Families that play together, stay together. Dad brought his hair and makeup team to this photo shoot so you'll have to wait to see how dynamite he looks in a helmet. That's what industry insiders call a teaser....

The whole group before the start of the ride on Day 2. We were told by our guides that we were one of the most fun and easy going groups they've ever had. Of course they lied a lot about the difficulty of the rides, so not sure if that assessment can be trusted or not. But I think they were spot on...

No one knows how that pine tree growing out of the roof of this little church got there. It continues to thrive despite the lack of soil or water. The proper way to celebrate this miracle is to pose like an idiot in front of it and pretend like the bike shorts you're wearing don't make you feel like you pooped your pants.

This car is called a Renault and I want one very badly.

Sunrise in the harbor town of Postira.

Golden Horn Beach. This gives you a little taste of how remarkably clear the water is. Dig it.

We took a boat from the island of Brac to the island of Hvar and were met at the port by this wild man. He was our shuttle driver for the rest of the week and he wore that exact same outfit every day. He also played a loop of Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson songs that would inevitably get stuck in your head for the entire day and make you want to hurt someone. "Let the Circle Be Unbroken"...

View from the Spanish fortress overlooking Hvar Town. Pretty sweet.

Whenever my mom went missing, we knew exactly where to find her.

Delicious picnic overlooking the Adriatic featuring the finest meats and cheeses in all the land? Yes, please!

On the last day of biking, we did a killer 6-mile climb. This is my mom approaching the final stretch.

Bill knows how to rock a helmet.

The crew looking jubilant after completing the final climb.

Our last day was spent in the town of Split, home to Diocletian's Palace which was built by the Romans at the turn of the 4th Century. Inside the palace walls, you'll find this life size replica of the Last Supper.

Who knew that John bore such a striking resemblence to Brad Pitt?

My dad is not the best when it comes to mastering foreign languages, but he did become quite adept at using one Croatian word: sladoled, which is the word for ice cream. Follow along as Bill demonstrates how to enjoy this tasty local treat. Step 1: Give a look that lets people know that nothing comes between you and your sladoled...

Step 2: Go in for the kill...

Step 3: Rejoice in the ice creamy goodness!

So moral of the story is that Croatia is an incredibly beautiful country with a rich history and fascinating culture. It proved to be the perfect place for our family reunion and it will forever hold a special place in my heart. After months of traveling solo, it was amazing to be able to experience the sights and sounds with some companions and create memories that will inevitably last a lifetime. Big shout out to mom, dad and brother Randy. Yinz guys are the best! Oh and also before I forget, the title of this blog probably isn't funny to anyone except those three but I'll try to explain. The most common greeting in Croatia is "Dobar Dan" but when my dad said it, it came off sounding decidedly Yinzery so his nickname for the week became Dobar Donny. Sladoled you've already learned about. Noon thirty is what our guide Marko called 12:30. So now you're all caught up. Guess you had to be there...

Today I travel from Wienerville to Praha where the fun continues as I will be reunited with my dear pal Kelly. We will stroll through the streets, drink beer in the birthplace of pilsner, laugh all the time, and Czech things out (yay for puns!). Can't wait!

Europe is sweet. Time is flying. Life is fun.

Until we meet again....

Lots of stuff can happen in 10 days

2011-04-23T21:28:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I wish I wasn't such an idiot and updated this thing on a more frequent basis. Other times I'm too busy drinking homemade wine with old Greek men in a hotel basement or exploring the ins and outs of the Colloseum to pay much attention to that. Anyways, I'm sorry for the delay. I'll try to make it up to you by telling you some moderately cool stuff.

Last we spoke, Santorini and I were just ending our torrid love affair. We laughed, we cried, we got gyro grease on each other's pants. Then I decided that things were moving too fast and I had to shuffle off to Paros, another idyllic spot in the Cyclades island group. After a nice 4 hour ferry ride, I disembarked and was getting my bearings when a friendly looking gentleman approached. He worked for a local hotel and was trying to drum up business from the tourists who just arrived. I told him I already had a place but wasnt sure where it was. So after he gave me directions he extended an invite to a welcome dinner at his hotel later that night that he would be hosting for all the guests. I generally like dinner, so I accepted. So around 8:30, I arrived at the address he had given expecting to see a raucous crowd eating finger foods and swigging cocktails. Instead I saw a deserted dining area, a bar manned by an exhausted looking Indian guy and a random teenage kid Skyping with someone in the corner. Then Andros (friendly guy who invited me to this rager) appeared, shoved a glass of wine in my hand and assured me that more people would be there shortly. So as he retired to the kitchen to finish dinner preparations, I sipped my wine in front of a huge screen TV that was airing the infomercial for the Magic Bullet blender dubbed in Greek. I love that infomercial so much that I forgot for a few minutes how I might potentially be in a sketchy situation. But just as the white trash neighbor lady with the cigarette hanging out of her mouth makes her first appearance onscreen (a.k.a. the climax of the entire infomercial), the door swung open and in walked 3 gals who looked to be about the same age as me. I had no idea who they were or what their deal was, but I immediately felt much better about the state of affairs. Luckily, my intuition about them proved to be correct and as the night wore on, we were yuckin it up and making plans for the next day and rolling eyes at one another whenever Andros and his old man friends would make gross old man remarks. All in good fun, I assure you. Nothing crossing the line or making anyone feel uncomfortable in the slightest. Just a fun, random gathering with good wine, good food and good company. First night in Paros was a definite success.

Next day the Belgians (the 3 girls were Belgian, which I dont think I mentioned. Waffles. Beer. You're all caught up now) and I rented a car and explored the entire perimeter of the island. Not quite tourist season yet so most spots were kind of deserted but we still discovered some cool spots and had a successful day of adventure. After another family dinner at the hotel prepared by Andros and enjoyed by another random assortment of Paros' finest, I headed back to my hotel and got ready to ship it back to the mainland the next morning.

Thought I had a full day of exploration in Athens but I mixed up the time on my flight to Rome and really only had about 2 hours of walking around time. So basically I know nothing worthwhile to tell you about Athens other than that the people on the local bus were really pissed about the size of my backpack and how much space it took up. So that's a good takeaway. Ok here's a couple pictures of stuff:

These are my new Belgian buddies who explored Paros with me. Although I could have made that up and this might just be three random strangers that I was walking behind. Who's to say, really?

Got to Athens after the Acropolis closed and left the next morning before it opened. So this picture just proves that I was kinda close to a really famous place.

So after bidding Greece the fondest of farewells, I hopped a flight to Roma. I did little to no research for the Italy portion of my journey so I mostly found everything in a crazy and fortuitious series of accidents. Its actually not that hard to find important things if you just take note of where the huge throngs of people are gathering. That's another insider tip for you. These are just little things that you pick up as you go. No big deal. Anyways, I spent 2 days in Rome walking around to lots of places whose historical significance was so immense that my pea brain had a hard time comprehending it right away. Whenever that happens, it's always a good idea to eat something. I sought comfort in carbs and sugar as my diet in Italy consisted almost exclusively of pizza, paninis and gelato. It was glorious. Rome looked like this:

The interior of the Colosseum. The Ancient Romans were pretty good at building stuff.

The lady who took this picture for me was not friendly at all. In other news, after I looked up the Colosseum on Wikipedia I learned that they allowed Nickelback to film a music video here in 2009. I mention this only because I hate Nickelback and this gives me an opportunity to share that with you.

The Arch of Constantine. It was erected in 315. I was born in 1983.

Look at the buns on that one! He must work out.

The Pantheon. Rotundas and porticos and oculi, oh my!

This car was approximately 3 feet in length. Rollin on dubs.

Jermaine Jackson is huge in Italy. And by that I mean you can buy one of his really obscure/terrible albums at a sketchy little sidewalk stand for 5 Euros.

St. Peter's Basilica in the Vatican City. The wait to get inside was approximately 4 hours. The ants in my pants made this an impossibility.

That's just a priest reading the Bible at a fountain right outside the entrance to St. Peter's. Pretty standard really.

Trevi Fountain a.k.a. the most crowded spot in Rome

Fighting crime in Rome is really exhausting.

After getting my fill of Rome, I hopped on a train and made my way to the beautiful hamlet of Florence. You know when people describe cities as "romantic" and you immediately wish they would shut up and stop being such a d-bag? Well after cruising around Florence for 2 days, I think I might have to give those jerkwad romantic labelers a bit of a break because I kinda get what they're saying. I'm not ready to join their ranks, but I will say that Florence has a very dreamlike aura to it that was very easy to get swept up in. The quaint cobblestone streets, the soft glowing steetlights, the candle lit cafes, the relaxed pace of life that quietly nudges you and suggests a nice lazy stroll to the plaza/park/market/riverwalk. Oh hell, for lack of a better term the place is romantic. Here's a few pictures of all of that and some other stuff too:

Pizza is always a good idea

If I said that David is the antithesis of Ron Jeremy in every way, shape and form, would that make sense to you?

Doumo Arigato, Mr. Roboto

This picture is dedicated to Mr. Joe McGuigan and his impeccable eye for art. His favorite statue in Florence is now my favorite statue in Florence. I never knew how amazing a fat naked guy perched on a turtle could be until I saw this beauty.

Florence is pretty

View of the Ponte Vecchio spanning the Arno River from the Piazzale Michelangelo. Say that 3 times fast and then reward yourself with a gelato.

Night falls on the Piazza della Repubblica. How romantical!

Dave Walton, this is for you and your steadfast devotion to fatty Italian meats.

Chas Huckestein, this is for you and your steadfast devotion to sickeningly sweet treats and beverages.

I've always said that life would be much easier if all stores would just put the paper clips and children's socks right next to the men's underwear.

After leaving Florence, I took a train to Bologna and then spent the night at the Bologna airport. It was cold and I only got a couple hours of sleep but I didn't really care because I was on my way to Croatia, the hidden gem of the Adriatic Sea and the spot where I would be reunited with the Merry Band of Idiots a.k.a. my family. The level of excitement and anticipation I had would be comparable to the way I used to get on Christmas Eve between the ages of 4 and 7. So my first two days in Croatia were more or less exercises in killing time, which is basically my professional occupation at this point so no big deal. Then Thursday rolled around and the long awaited reunion finally played out in room 311 of the Bellevue Hotel in beautiful Dubrovnik, Croatia. So after we all exchanged hugs and kisses and I made fun of my dad for his outfit, it was basically like no time had passed at all. Since then we've been taking in the sights and sounds of Dubrovnik. That's looked something like this:

View from the hotel room balcony. So gross. Excuse me while I go puke.

This is my mom. She wears that band in her hair for awhile before she heads out in public as a way to depoof-ify her hair or something. She's hilarious like that pretty much all the time.

American Gothic, version 2.0

Dubrovnik a.k.a. the Jewel of the Adriatic

View of the Old City of Dubrovnik from the giant wall that encircles the entire area. It's hard to tell now because of the amazing rebuilding process, but a good deal of the Old City was destroyed in 1991 when the Serbs attacked and bombed Dubrovnik and the surrounding area. Quite a remarkable recovery effort.

Aerial view of the Old City. It's mostly incredibly awesome.

Croatians are always airing their dirty laundry

Reunited and it feels so good!

I bet you didn't know this but my dad packed the perfect amount of clothes for this trip. Or so he keeps telling me. Right after he says, "Now I'm on vacation so I don't want to talk politics, but have you seen the latest on Ron Paul?"

Mom demonstrating some classic adventuring moves

Randy, we might be able to Photoshop you in this later so you can pretend you were present for what will most likely be the highlight of the trip.

So basically life continues to be pretty awesome all the time. We travel to Split tomorrow to meet up with brother Andy and then the bike tour begins on Monday. Hopefully that one spin class I did 4 months ago has prepared me for what's ahead...

Happy Easter to all and to all a good night!

I see London, I don't see France, I see Greece's underpants

2011-04-13T19:42:00.003-04:00

Coming to you live from the economy deck of the Blue Star Paros, a big hulking ferry that is transporting me from one beautiful Greek island (Santorini) to another beautiful Greek island (Paros). In case I haven't mentioned this recently, life is really tough. Ok I have a great many things to recap I guess. So make sure you're sitting in a chair with good lumbar support because if you care to relive the past 10 days of the world domination tour with me, it'll probably take awhile. And away we go....

Let's start by discussing how much fun I had traveling from Asia to Europe (Bangkok to Mumbai to London). Things started well enough as I met a couple of American kids while I was waiting to check into my flight in Bangkok. One kid was from Colorado and just bought a one-way ticket to Thailand and didn't realize that there was a visa restriction on how long he could be there so he was escaping to India on his last day of eligibility. The other kid was from upstate New York and was in Thailand to work on his application for music school, in which he had to write a paper discussing what five albums he would take with him if he knew he was going to be stranded on a deserted island. In a tremendous show of dedication (or total bullshit), he decided to kayak to a remote island in the south of Thailand for a couple of days to be inspired. Unfortunately this was about the same time that the big rain storms rolled into that region so he actually did end up being stranded on a deserted island. It took 3 days before a random water taxi came by and rescued him. I'd like to believe that this story actually happened, but immediately after completing that tale he launched into another one about how he had been chased off of a government-controlled marijuana field by a group of guards armed with AK-47s while he was motorbiking through the countryside of Vietnam. So he's either a total idiot or a total liar. Either way, it was entertaining.

Ok, so after I checked in, I made my way to the gate and proceeded to listen to about a dozen different messages explaining how our plane was going to be there shortly and just be patient and blah blah blah. We finally boarded about an hour and a half later than scheduled. That wasn't a big deal except for the fact that it caused a bit of a rush when we landed in Mumbai four hours later and I had to hurry to make the connection to London. This was further complicated by the fact that the process of making a connecting flight at the Mumbai airport is quite possibly the most unorganized thing I've ever seen. You're basically herded into a big holding pen with tons of other people and approximately two airport employees checking boarding passes and passports. So everyone is pushing and shoving and jockeying for position. Once you get through that you're rewarded by standing in another line to go through security. Again, this is just a huge cluster of humanity trying to squeeze their way through 3 security stations. Add a system malfunction in which the security belts stopped running for about 5 minutes and you basically have a hell on earth kind of scenario. Kids crying, moms yelling, old men screaming in foreign languages, and a total lack of direction from those in charge. I still don't really know what the hell was going on, but I stuck close to a nice Thai girl who had been through the process before and somehow managed to make it to the gate in time. Before we could board, we had to show our passports to one more set of security officials who were doing their best 'bad cop' impressions. I watched my Thai friend go before me and get absolutely grilled on why she was going to London, where she was staying, what the nature of her trip was, what her job back in Thailand was, etc. I got slightly nervous as I hadn't really anticipated this interrogation. But all of the worrying was in vain because when it was my turn, the guy just looked at the outside of my passport, smiled and waved me through. In the immortal words of Team America: World Police, "America, f*** yeah!" (with apologies to my grandmothers....rest assured that I just recently learned what this word even means and I'm only using it to try to impress my friends).

In a nice twist, the middle seat of the row I was sitting in was vacant. The aisle seat was filled by a nice old Indian woman with at least 40 different tattoos on her arms. The language barrier between us was rather large, so we just stuck to charades. When we were served our meal and she needed help opeing the instant creamer packet to add to her tea, she made a bunch of hand gestures and shoved the packet into my hands. So that became our bonding experience. I was somewhat of a packet opening expert by the end of the flight as she tested me with creamer, sugar, ketchup, salt, pepper, oil and vinegar dressing and mayonnaise. The dressing gave me fits, but I think she was happy with my performance overall. She showed her appreciation by setting up a little bed that extended from her seat to the middle seat, with her bare feet situated dangerously close to my forearm. So that was really great. Air India seats are pretty much terrible so I only managed about an hour of sleep, which was a bit of a bummer. Spent the other 9 hours watching a couple of American movies ("When Harry Met Sally" and "Tangled") and a ridiculously hilarious Bollywood movie called "Robot" about a scientist who invents a robot who is so life-like that the develops human emotions and proceeds to fall in love with the scientist's girlfriend. The sleep deprivation my have been clouding my judgment a bit, but I found it to be one of the most hilarious movies I've ever seen. So be sure to put it on your list.

Then it was 7:00 am and magically we were in touching down in London. One of the great things about traveling is that it brings you back into contact with long lost pals. A couple of weeks ago I got an e-mail from my old high school buddy and former neighbor Nikki, who now lives and works in London. Through the power of social networking she had heard that I was making my way around the world and told me that if I was ever passing through that I could crash at her flat. Glorious offers such as this don't come around every day, so I probably accepted way too quickly and totally freaked her out...but she agreed nonetheless. So after I landed at Heathrow, I hopped on the infamous London Underground and made my way to the Westminster side of town where Nikki lives. And after a solid 20 hours of traveling, I had finally reached my destination. Party time! Nikki has a big girl job at a law firm so she was doing the work thing when I arrived. Instead of being smart and taking a nap, I decided to go for a run so I could stretch the old legs and get a little fresh air. As luck would have it, I brought unseasonably nice weather with me from Thailand. Clear blue skies, a light breeze and brilliant sunshine graced the day and made me wonder why Londoners bitch so much about the weather. I jogged around with no real idea as to where I was or where I was going, so it came as quite the surprise when I rounded a random corner and was greeted by a massive mob of tourists all craning their necks and standing on their tip toes to see something in the distance. So I turned around to follow suit, and oh hey, I'm witnessing the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. No big deal.

At around 6:00 that evening, Nikki won the "First Familiar Face I Have Seen in Almost 3 Months" award. It's a highly coveted prize so the only course of action we had at that point was to go to a local pub and celebrate with her buddy Andrew. We had a grand old time. I had an absolute blast reminiscing about the past and catching up on the present. She's got a nice little life there in London and it was nice to catch a brief glimpse of it. So after one too many pints, we made our way back to her place and cursed our North Allegheny educations for not arming us with the knowledge of how to properly open a futon. But at that point, I was so tired that I would have slept on a park bench, so an unopened futon was luxury accomodation at that point. Spent the next day walking around London on yet another beautiful spring day taking in the historical sights and sounds. Ok, I'm sick of typing and you're probably sick of reading, so it's picture time!

Ok this set of pictures is entitled "Cliche Touristy London Stuff" Here are some adorable red phone booths...those Brits are so cheeky!

Apparently this wedding is kind of a big deal.

Buckingham Palace. Important things happen here.

The Queen Victoria Memorial. The golden figure is the statue of Victory. Or as Charlie Sheen would say, "winning."

I feel like those huge hats greatly interfere with one's field of vision...which is kind of important when you're carrying a huge gun.

Westminster Abbey. That's where that important wedding will be taking place in a couple weeks.

Oh, a double whammy of touristy sights! Backside of a doubledecker bus and Big Ben (the one that doesn't get boozed up and take advantage of college girls in bar bathrooms)

Believe the hype...this is a killer public transportation system

I peed here

I would like to meet the graphic designer who created this because that person is a genius.

St. Paul's Cathedral

Picture in picture

The Tower Bridge. It's famous.

Maximus Headicus in front of the Tower Bridge.

So after all of that London goodness, it was time to set sail for the Greek islands, a.k.a. heaven on earth. After landing in Athens, I opted to go directly from the airport to Pireaus port and hop on an 8-hour ferry to Santorini. It was a solid choice as Santorini quickly moved into the running of my favorite spot ever. It was everything I pictured it to be and then some. Basically like living in a postcard. The people are nice and friendly, the food is fresh and tasty and the scenery can't be beat. Within 6 hours of being there I had already gotten stuck behind a horde of donkeys, eaten an authentic lamb gyro, drank Ouzo at a local pub, and witnessed one of the best sunsets of my life. So that was pretty awesome. The rest of my time in Santorini was spent exploring by foot and ATV, hanging with my new Dutch pals, and basically just soaking up the magnificent scenery. Check it aht:

Oh hello

If you're a fan of exploring and getting lost, then Santorini is the place for you. Cobblestone streets lined with coffee shops, seaside terraces and donkey poo. What more could you ask for?

Pretty standard really

The dude I rented this from assured me that this was the only black ATV on the island. I don't know why that would be considered a selling point, but whatever, it was bad ass.

The Red Beach. It's clothing optional so if you look really closely you can probably see some hairy naked Greek dudes sunbathing off to the right. You're welcome.

This is what an idiot in a helmet looks like. Safety first, kids.

Just another "I'm living in a post card" type of scenes.

This is what I look like right after I drive down a windy dirt road and discover my very own private beach that comes equipped with lounge chairs. Schwing!

Dome sweet dome

Sunset in the town of Oia. That big mess of people was a big group of high school kids who I guess were there on some kind of school trip. They were armed with air horns and basically the most annoying people ever.

In case you forgot, I really like sunsets.

Local graffiti depicting an ass on grass.

If you want to make a lot of money in Santorini just produce mass quantities of white and blue paint and you'll be all set.

Topless AND missing an arm? This chick must have had one too many shots of Ouzo.

Sick nasty.

Cats are everywhere you turn in Santorini. Smart kitties.

This is nice

This is a sign that Greek people love the Pens and that Sid the Kid will indeed skate again at some point this year.

So basically life has been really freakin sweet as of late. I think Europe and I have a pretty solid thing going right now so I'm excited to see what else she has in store for me. Couple more days in Greece then it's off to Italia for a hot minute before venturing to the land of Croats for the long awaited Wright family reunion. I'm pretty sure they're just meeting up with me so they can get their picture in this blog, but I'm ok with that.

Pretty sure that's all I got for you right now. Keep on fightin the good fight and GO PENS!

The whole she-Bangkok

2011-04-03T15:22:00.002-04:00

Life is full of extremes. Sometimes you find yourself on a rickety overcrowded Thai bus with no air conditioning for 3 plus hours, dust and fumes pouring through the open windows and burning your retinas. Other times you end up poolside at a swanky hotel, sharing beers and laughs with two gay French guys at an intercity oasis of sorts. These are a just a couple of the things that I've experienced during my extended stay here in the capital city of Thailand.

As you may recall, I had plans to travel south and visit some of the beautiful beaches that this country is so well known for. Unfortunately, those plans were cancelled due to rain a.k.a. the dumbest weather condition ever. So after that happened I toyed with the idea of traveling north to the mountains to do some trekking and other outdoorsy things. But as I sat down and tried to reformulate my itinerary, I found that my head was about to explode from all the time spent planning. If you ever have to take a quiz about me (which is highly likely) and one of the questions asks you to list my 3 least favorite things in life, remember this: 1) Felt - just typing the word makes my skin crawl. 2) Making plans - spontaneity is so much cooler. 3) Polite laughter - when someone isn't funny but you have to fake that they are so things aren't super awkward. Honorable mentions: the Baltimore Ravens, "A Walk to Remember", and people who don't yield to pedestrians at clearly marked crosswalks.

So aside from felt, planning is my most hated thing in life. This presents a bit of a challenge as jaunting around the world seems to require a fair bit of organized scheduling. Obviously planning life changing adventures in exotic places is much more fun than planning business meetings in conference rooms, so please don't interpret this as a tale of woe. Mostly what I'm trying to say is that I got a bit burnt out on the daily decisions of where I wanted to go and what I wanted to see and which hostel would be the best value and what mode of transport would get me from Point A to Point B the quickest and so on and so forth. So with that in mind, I decided that I'd forgo any grand plans and just hang around Bangkok spending an extended period of time getting to know the city and the culture. I decided early on that I'll be back in Thailand at some point in my life so the pressure to pack a bunch of touristy activities in was lifted. So I've spent the past week moseying around different parts of town and pretending that I live here. I'm happy to report that it's been a fantastic decision. I feel as though I've been able to capture at least a tiny bit of the essence of the city and its inhabitants. Being in one spot for an extended period of time allows for experiences that you just can't get in a couple of days. I know the train system like the back of my hand. Every time I leave the hostel in the morning, I share a wave and smile with the policeman who guards the building across the street. The friendly woman at the corner coffee shop knows my order before I even open my mouth. I joke with the fruit vendors outside the train station who greet me with shouts of "America!" and "Obama!" I wander aimlessly, listen attentively and observe thoughtfully. On the surface, it's just a big urban sprawl of skyscrapers and consumerism, but underneath all of that lies a wonderfully rich culture built on ancient customs and time honored traditions. So I'm more than happy that my best laid plans got totally shit on. I guess rain isn't so bad after all.

This might not look that awesome, but believe me it is. It don't know what its called because the menu I ordered it off of was written in Thai and I just pointed to a picture of something that looked good (and not really like this at all). Anyways, it had rice noodles and minced pork and herbs and a poached egg and roasted peanuts and a spicy broth that made my nose run and my heart sing.

One of the greatest things about Southeast Asia is the abundance of fresh fruit everywhere. Street vendors offer a crazy selection so its a great way to try new things. This is a half eaten bag of jackfruit that cost approximately 30 cents.

Thumbs up to fresh fruit and idiocy!

I'm rich, bitch! Not really though. That's 2500 baht which is approximately 82 US dollars. That bespectacled man is Bhumibol Adulyadej a.k.a. Rama IX a.k.a. the current King of Thailand. He has reigned since 1946 which makes him the longest serving current head of state as well as the longest reigning monarch in Thai history. His picture can be found on all banknotes. I wonder if he regrets not smiling for his portrait.

One day I decided to go on an adventure. So I made my way to Erawan National Park to see cool stuff.

Erawan Waterfalls consist of 7 different tiers of ridiculously impressive scenes like this.

One time when I was living with my parents my dad told me that I had to earn my keep and do some chores around the house. That seemed fair enough so I asked him what he wanted me to do. He then proceeded to tell me that the forest floor was looking messy and that I needed to go around and pick up all the sticks and make it look more presentable (note: we're not talking about picking up sticks in the yard here...we're talking picking up sticks in the middle of the freakin woods). So anyways, I never thought anyone could have a more asinine task than that...but then I saw these two cats. Tucked away in an area 20 feet from the path, diligently sweeping the forest for no reason in particular. I'll never understand the logic, but I'm sure my dear old dad is reading this somewhere and wiping away a tear of joy. So this one's for you, you silly old bastard!

Here we come, walkin down the street, we get the funniest looks from everyone we meet...

Baby monkey suckin on the teat. Still not sure whether this is cute or creepy.

More waterfall awesomeness

There were lots of overweight Russians in Speedos everywhere. So that only added to the beauty of the surroundings.

Many of the big older trees along the path are adorned with clothes, ribbons, flowers and other random decorations that Thai people leave as gifts to the spirits of the trees.

More crappy waterfalls

In order to get to Erawan Falls I had to take a few buses. This was the local bus from Kanchaniburi to Erawan. There are no marked stops along the way, so the bus driver just honks his horn as he approaches different intersections and people come racing out of their houses to hop on. There are also lots of random stops made to pick up supplies from one person and deliver them to another person a few miles down the road. The Port Authority has nothing on this system.

Dashboard decorations

Who has two thumbs, a busted big toe and is in desperate need of a pedicure? This girl! I was wandering around the Southern Bus Terminal, lethargic from a 3 hour ride on a hot and stuffy bus when I tripped over a deadly sewer grate and lost a little chunk of skin. So that was a nice and bloody way to wrap up the day of adventure.

Erawan Shrine, one of the most popular Hindu shrines in Thailand. It was built in 1956 to appease the supposed evil forces that were taking the lives of construction workers and causing other calamities in the construction what is now the Grand Hyatt Erawan. The misfortunes were said to be caused by starting the construction on an unfavorable date. After the shrine was erected, construction deaths stopped and the hotel became prosperous.

Worshippers pay their respects with incense, flowers and candles. Debbie Downer Alert: In 2006, a mentally disturbed man took a hammer to this shrine and was subsequently beaten to death by angry bystanders. Depressing story, but an illustration of how important this shrine is to the people.

Just outside the gate to the shrine, you can buy a cage full of birds for a few hundred baht. According to Buddhist principle, by releasing these birds back into the wild you are "making merit" and clearing the slate for any previous indiscretions. Or something like that.

One day I was walking around Bangkok sweating my ever loving face off. So I decided to find the nearest hotel and inquire about paying a nominal fee to use their facilities. As I approached my target, I decided to be a total bad ass and try my hand at sneaking in. I played it real cool like, pretending to talk on my cell phone while waiting for the perfect moment when the front desk lady's head was turned and a hotel guest was getting on the elevator. Channeling 007, I pulled this maneuver off with surprising aplomb. And just like that, I was on the rooftop enjoying the fruits of my sneaky labor.

This is what a criminal mastermind looks like.

That's Charles, one half of the gay French couple that became my new best friends for the afternoon. We bonded over cold jugs of Chang beer and the 5-song play list that the resident poolside DJ kept playing on repeat. Quite the eclectic mix, consisting of the following: We Are the Champions - Queen, Zombie - The Cranberries, It's My Life - Bon Jovi, In the Air Tonight - Phil Collins, and Country Roads - John Denver. In an astonishing twist, all the guys working at the pool knew every single word to Country Roads. So I guess I can officially cross "Listening to a bunch of Thai dudes sing about West Virginia at a rooftop bar in the middle of Bangkok" off my bucket list.

It certainly doesn't suck.

Ok kids, that's about all I've got for you now. One more full day in Bangkok and then off to London town on Tuesday evening. After much deliberation I have decided to go with the London to Greece to Italy to Croatia plan. Many thanks for those of you who weighed in with your thoughts and suggestions. So I guess the next time I update this thing I'll be in Europe. I predict big things.

Keep on keepin on, my friends!

Reason # 3287 why keeping up with the local news is a good idea....

2011-03-29T09:20:00.000-04:00

"Once again, things that could have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!"
http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/local/229211/rising-waters-down-south

Long story short, my dreams of sipping cocktails on picturesque tropical beaches have been dashed. Stay tuned while I formulate an alternative plan of adventure...

Thai one on

2011-03-29T03:43:00.000-04:00

You know that one joke where you ask people (preferably dudes) what the capital of Thailand is and then before they can answer you say "Bangkok" and pretend like you're going to hit them in the crotch? Well it's a classic and if you didn't know it before, you do now. So you're welcome. The reason I shared that extremely classy and tasteful joke is that I'm currently in the punch line city so that gives you a perfect reason to test it out. Again, you're welcome.

Ok so after talking with several other travelers who had spent some time here, I was fully prepared to be less than impressed with Bangkok.  I tend to prefer nature and small towns over massive sprawling metropolises, but I've actually grown quite fond of this place over the past few days. Perhaps it had an unfair advantage because it directly followed my time in Ho Chi Minh City. I can't say that HCMC was my favorite place on earth, as it was hot and dirty and rather depressing. I spent about a day and a half there and was ready to leave after about 4 hours.  I took a stroll around town during the early evening hours and during that 2 hour span I witnessed the following: an old lady puking in the middle of the street, a senile Australian man talking to no one in particular about how he was in the market for a young boy, a crowd of men gathered around two street dogs getting frisky with each other, and countless gross old white dudes with young naive Vietnamese girls on their wrinkly arms. So after taking all of that in, I took a hot shower to wash the ick off and booked the next flight out to Bangkok.

Got into Bangkok around midnight and made my way to my hostel. It's a bit outside of the main city center, but the public transportation here is great and the hostel is one of nicest I've ever stayed at so two thumbs up. One thing that makes this hostel so great is the quality of the mattresses. I dont know if it's an Asian thing or not, but up until this point, all of the places I've stayed have had rock hard mattresses. They say those are better for your back, but I say shut up. Anyways, if you're ever in Bangkok you should stay here.  Don't think you'll ever find a nicer place for 10 bucks a night.

For the past couple of days I've just been exploring the city by foot, train, ferry and tuk tuk.  The other day I visited an area of town called Siam which is famous for it's gigantic shopping malls. I generally hate malls, but they're dynamite for people watching so I was happy. Also, in the lower level of one of these malls sits one of the greatest food courts of all time.  Very similar to the hawker centers of Singapore, but slightly bigger.  In addition to that, I also discovered the most impressive grocery store I've ever been to in my entire life.  Not sure if you know this, but I have a weird fascination with grocery stores.  I love lazily strolling around and seeing the weird stuff they have and the going rate for said products. Anyways, this grocery store was remarkable. Spotlessly clean, awe-inspiring prepared food area, and an extremely well thought out design. As if that weren't enough, they had more free samples than I could even taste. Eat your heart out, Costco.  Anyways, I'm a big weirdo so I greatly enjoyed this discovery.  Oh hey, I found a review of this place that describes it in much greater detail than I did, so I guess I'm not the only weirdo: http://www.gourmet.com/travel/2007/11/gourmetmarket

Yesterday I took to the river and took a ferry to do a little siteseeing.  Walked around the grounds of the Grand Palace and then walked a bit down the road to explore Wat Pho, which is a ridiculously impressive Buddhist temple. It's home to more than 1,000 Buddha statues and is known as the birthplace of Thai massage. The amount of detail in all the structures was remarkable.  The tile work was crazy and I can't even begin to comprehend how long it must have taken to construct.   Here's cool stuff I've seen recently:

View from the beach in Nha Trang, Vietnam. This was taken during the 5 minutes that it didn't rain while I was there. Lame.

This is the only picture I took in Ho Chi Minh. That was probably dumb of me, but oh well. This is just your standard dried fish stand at the local market. It smelled really nice.

Fun fact: Lots of taxis in Bangkok are bright pink and the taxi drivers wear bright pink vests. Good stuff.

Wandering around some mall and I happened upon a Thai boy band concert. The girls were going wild for these cats.

This picture is just to show the junxtaposition between old and new, chaotic and serene. Temple with an IMAX backdrop. Life is funny.

The Grand Palace. I was approached by about 12 different people asking if I wanted a guided tour. I said no and quickly retreated so I'm not entirely sure what goes on around here, but there were lots of tourists so I assume it's something important.

Just some awesome structures at Wat Pho. Can't really tell from this picture, but the exterior of all of those are made up of thousands of little tiles. So I'm sure that didn't take long to complete.

This guy is pretty cool

There were countless hallways like this. Very serene environment. Buddhism seems cool.

Prayer candles. My attempt at being an artsy fartsy photographer.

I really like this picture

After getting my fill of culture, I took a tuk tuk to Khoa San Road, which is a the epicenter of Bangkok's backpacker scene. Hippies to the left, transgendered street performers to the right, and an endless array of weirdness in all directions. Not really a place I would want to stay, but definitely fun for an afternoon. Walked around, got some delicious 50 cent pad thai, and also visited a few travel agents to do some bargaining for the best price on transport to an island in southern Thailand called Koh Phi Phi (pronounced Co Pee Pee...not quite as funny as dong, but still worthy of a giggle). So I did some haggling and got round trip bus and ferry tickets for about $40. So I'll be boarding another sleeper bus this evening and will arrive in Koh Phi Phi around 10:30 tomorrow morning. Plan from there is to explore some of the beaches and probably do a bit of snorkeling. Won't have enough time for my scuba certification so that's lame but oh well. I'll make my way back from Koh Phi Phi on Sunday evening, back in Bangkok on Monday morning and then off to London on Tuesday night. The hits keep comin!

Just taking some beach clothes and a camera on this latest excursion, so I'll be somewhat off the grid for the next 5 days. Hopefully I'll have some good stuff to share when I get back. I think I might. Keep on rockin in the free world. Until we meet again....

Lady, come buy you!

2011-03-24T04:19:00.001-04:00

I must admit that my first few days in Vietnam were rather disappointing. I attribute it more to the cold, rainy weather than anything else. Best laid plans were foiled, exploring by foot was washed out, and the demeanor of the locals was less than endearing. It made me realize how incredibly lucky I've been with the weather I've experienced, the adventures I've undertaken and the people I've encountered up until that point. But much as in real life (I currently live in a surreal fantasy world), you're gonna have a few bad days here or there. And when I say bad, I mean that in the least severe way possible. I was still seeing fascinatingly new things and learning a good deal about a new culture, but the overall experience wasn't going quite as swimmingly as I had anticipated. So it is with much pleasure and satisfaction that I am happy to report that the events of the past few days have vastly improved my overall feelings about this country.

It all started on Saturday morning, another dismal, gray day in the greater Hanoi area. Despite the foreboding skies, I decided to go ahead and book a one-day tour to Halong Bay, as I had heard such glowing reviews. So I bid my comfy hotel room a fond farewell, left my bags in the capable hands of Mr. Bihn (the front desk dude) and boarded a mini bus at 8:30 or so. I jammed out to some tunes, took a little cat nap, read a bit and as noon rolled around, the Bay came into view and I started to understand why Halong Bay was such a popular destination. There are over 2,000 islands in the Bay, most of these islands being massive rock formations jutting out of the water. It was slightly overcast, but still clear enough to be incredibly impressive. We boarded a boat and were taken across the bay and into an area that was dotted with tiny fishing villages that were situated in and amongst these islands. Floating communities of people who made their living selling fresh fish and local produce. We docked our boat and were treated to a lunch of seafood and veggies and other local fare. As we ate, our boat was surrounded by women on row boats who were hawking fruit and little crappy trinkets. If you wanted something, you haggled for a bit and then whatever you bought would be put in a net and extended to the boat. After you got the goods out of the net, you would put your money in the net and the deal was done. Pretty good little system if you ask me.

Over lunch, I chatted with a couple of my fellow tour mates and we became fast friends. Idan was my buddy from Israel. He was a strapping young buck and reminded me of that dude Noel from "Felicity." He had just finished his commitment to the Israeli army and was traveling throughout Southeast Asia for a few months. He gave me some insight on what life in Israel was like and also insisted on taking lots of solo pictures of me. So needless to say, I have a bunch of new photos to add to the "Here I am being a huge douche" file. He also bought me some rumbutan (which is a new fruit that I've discovered here....similar to lychee but not quite as sweet) and some kind of cake thing for the ride back. So basically we were dating for the day.

I also became friendly with a really sweet girl from Singapore. Her name escapes me now, but we had a nice in-depth conversation about traveling and when I told her about my journey, she let out an audible gasp and covered her mouth. I smiled and she said "I'm sorry, but I think you're my new role model." So that instantly made me worry about her sanity and also made me laugh a lot. Then she started telling me that she's always wanted to travel the world but has been too scared because no one else shares her dream and she's worried that traveling by herself would be too lonely. So I shared some of my experiences and reassured her that feelings of loneliness are natural but fleeting. And traveling solo is pretty bad ass. Every day I wake up, I get to decide exactly what I want to do and when I want to do it. I'm only bound by the limits of my imagination so that usually leaves me with plenty of options (unfortunately I'm a rather indecisive person so this presents a challenge of sorts, but I'm working on it). To hold the power of your own destiny on a daily basis is quite a remarkable feeling, so I would advocate solo travel to anyone. Anyways, I sincerely hope she follows her dream. If it's even half as rewarding as mine has been thus far, then she'll be more than happy with her decision.

So after kayaking throughout the bay and poking around a cave that was so impressive I was convinced it was fake, we boarded the bus to begin the long journey back to Hanoi. Not sure if it was luck or fate or another force at work, but for whatever reason I chose to sit in the last row, window seat. This proved to be a rather fortuitous choice as I soon found myself surrounded by a gang of Russians who had been pounding cheap Vietnamese vodka all day long. The man next to me glanced my way, stuck out his hand and said “Ello, I’m Igor…where are you from?” A drunk Russian named Igor? You can’t make this stuff up, my friends. I told him I was from Pennsylvania to which he let out a loud laugh and said “Oh, Dracula!” Before I could explain to him that Dracula actually hailed from Transylvania, he had a healthy shot of whiskey in my face and was doing a “USA! USA!” chant. So before you could say Mikhail Gorbachev, the shot was gone and the friendship was made. So the next three hours were spent learning Russian curse words, trying in vain to pass up shots, watching as Igor almost came to blows with the bus driver because he had to pee so bad, and being reprimanded for being a bit too loud. Good times. By the time I got back to my hotel to get my bags and head to the train station to start the 12 hour overnight journey to Hue, I was half in the bag and in desperate need of a place to rest my head. That came in the form of a ratty old sleeper cabin on a rickety old train. Not the cleanest of accommodations, but the mattress was surprisingly comfy and after exchanging pleasantries with the Vietnamese family who I was sharing the cabin with (grandma, mom, dad, and two kids all crammed into three beds), I put in my iPod and made a blissful journey to la la land. I slept like a baby for 9 hours and awoke to find that I only had 3 hours left to kill. So I read for a bit and before I knew it, the train had arrived in Hue. It was ok. The cyclo drivers were incredibly persistent which was super annoying. One guy followed me while I walked for a solid 10 minutes trying to give me a ride. Not a very effective business model. One funny thing happened in Hue though. As I was strolling through the markets (my favorite leisure time activity), a young girl came up and grabbed onto my arm. She said "Lady, where you from?" I told her America and she started rattling off a bunch of places that she knew. Then she looked me dead in the eyes and said "lady, you so beautiful...like movie star!" I was flattered for a half second until she pointed to a grocery store across the street and said, "Grocery store....so beautiful! Come look look then you buy?" What a little bamboozler! So basically I'm as pretty as a run down Vietnamese grocery store. In your face!

Anyways, here are some highlights of Halong Bay and the one picture of Hue that I took:

Halong Bay by boat. Can't really think of anything witty to say about this. Sorry.

The cold weather and impending rain clouds forced me to bring back the hippie hat. The fact that I hadn't washed my hair in a couple days and I had to play it cool in front of my new buddy Idan may have also had something to do with it.

200,000 dong all up in your face! Haha, that's the truth. This is our tour guide trying to show me how that island in the center of the picture is also used on the 200,000 dong (hehe) bill.

Local ladies jockeying for position

Kayaking through some caves. No big deal.

I still look like a total tool, but shout out to my cameraman for lining up this shot so perfectly.

This little girl had them eating out of the palm of her tiny hands....literally.

The caves really looked like something that you would see in Disney World. But apparently they were real.

Slingin it with my new pal from Singapore

Cold War, Schmold War. Russians + whiskey = trouble

Do you know the way to Hue? That's funny because Hue is pronounced exactly the same as 'way.' Get it?

On Sunday morning, I made a 4 hour bus ride to a town called Hoi An, which proved to be my favorite spot yet and totally redeemed Nam’s good name. It’s a super chill little spot with really friendly people and a relaxed atmosphere. There are some lovely little cafes and restaurants along the river and it has a decidedly French vibe, from the architecture to the pretentious know-it-alls (haha, that was a joke). Hoi An is a town that’s world renowned for its tailors and custom made clothing stores. I was incredibly tempted to have a ton of business lady pant suits made, but I resisted the urge and settled on a pair of super comfy silk-like pants that evoke memories of MC Hammer. I love them so much. Best $2.50 investment I’ve ever made. I also rented a bike for a dollar and rode a few miles to a pretty nice little beach on the outskirts of town. Ordered a 50 cent beer from some lady and was given my own little grass hut and a comfy little beach chair. I then soaked up the sun’s glorious rays and had a fantastic little day.

Hoi An also has a ton of really awesome food stands run by some of the sweetest looking old ladies you could ever imagine. I’ve been getting braver in my culinary choices and was able to discover several amazing new dishes. I was introduced to a local favorite called cau loa (burnt noodles and pork with bean sprouts) which was excellent. I read a review of a little spot called Bale Well in the NY Times so I swung by there and had a very fun time trying to figure out how to properly assemble the only dish they serve, which is a do it yourself spring roll. They present you with about 10 plates with various veggies, meats, eggs, etc. and you take a sheet of rice paper and try to stuff as much in there as you can. As I attempted my first roll, I noticed that a tiny crowd of women had gathered to watch. I tried to make it look like I knew what I was doing, but knew immediately that I couldn’t fool these ladies. They laughed and laughed as I constructed a super shoddy roll with crap falling out everywhere. I was rescued by Mai, the owner of the place, who came over and showed me the proper way to make everything fit. It was a thing of beauty and although I never quite duplicated her efforts the ladies didn’t laugh quite as much on rolls 3 and 4. So I’ll consider it a success. I also visited a small little place off the main drag where a sweet little lady made me a dish of beef roasted in banana leaf. It was awesome. Also adding to the awesomeness of Hoi An was the abundance of places that sold local beer for 3000 dong a glass (have I mentioned that the currency in Vietnam is called dong? It never stops being funny). Anyways, that’s about 15 cents. Could life be any sweeter?

Cute old ladies who loved getting their picture taken (but I think they just said that so they could con me into buying a bunch of their mini bananas....it worked)

The old lady in the blue shirt took this shot. It's totally off kilter, but you can still tell that I'm being a huge douche.

Sun sets on another lovely day in Hoi An.

At night, the river lights up with lots of lanterns and floats and things of that nature. My camera was unable to capture the essence of the scene, so this is all you get.

Rambutan. They're about the size of a golf ball and after you rip the skin in half, you just pop the fruit into your mouth and enjoy a sweet taste sensation.

One thing you'll notice relatively quickly is that women in Vietnam work about 100 times harder than men. While women tend the shops and pound the pavement trying to sell their goods, men are generally found lazing about and not doing much of anything. Here's an example.

This is incredibly creepy

After 3 nights in Hoi An, I decided to hit the old dusty trail and continue south. I booked a spot on an overnight sleeper bus to Nha Trang, a beach town on the southeastern coast. I was going to spend a few days here and try to get my scuba certification, but the weather forecast calls for 4 straight days of rain and I was told that the diving here is horrible so I’ve altered those plans a bit. I took the sleeper bus last night and I loved it so much that I’m doing it all over again tonight! Ok, it wasn’t that awesome, but I did manage to get some sleep and the seats weren’t all that bad (basically you get a little compartment and you can adjust the back of your seat so you’re either sitting upright with your legs stretched in front of you, or tilt it back so you’re laying at a 150 degree angle. Besides the old Chinese man who was hocking some serious loogies the whole ride, it was a rather pleasant experience. So I’m currently sitting at a café in Nha Trang watching the rain pour down and killing time until 8:00 tonight, when I’ll board another sleeper bus destined for Ho Chi Minh City. From there I’m going to try to do a little tour of the Mekong Delta and then I’ll spend the next week either venturing through Cambodia on my way to Bangkok or hopping a flight to Bangkok and then heading to a little island in Thailand called Koh Tao to get my scuba certification. Life is so hard!

Oh also, I wanted to put this to a vote. I will be flying from Bangkok to London on April 6^th. I have to be in Bologna on April 19^th to catch a flight to Dubrovnik, Croatia where I will meet up with my dear old mom and dad, but the time between April 6^th and 19^th is free game. So I’ve come up with two different options that I could potentially explore:

OPTION A: Travel by train and bus from London to Paris and then through France and northern Italy before shooting down to Bologna to catch my flight to Dubrovnik

OPTION B: Fly from London to Athens, do a week of Greek island hopping and then fly to Florence and down to Bologna to catch my flight to Dubrovnik

Flight costs from London to Athens and Athens to Florence are rising by the day, so my procrastinating nature could end up making my decision for me….but just wanted to throw it out there and see if anyone had any opinions one way or the other. Both options are pretty awesome so I’m not too worried.

Ok well my apologies for this chapter being so ridiculously longwinded, but I have successfully killed a couple hours in the process, so many thanks.

Until we meet again...

Cheers,

Christy

P.S. The title of this entry is a direct quote from the countless shop owners who try to get you to come into their stores and look around. They generally know a few choice English phrases and "Lady, come buy you!" seems to be the most popular. Very endearing in it's Yoda-like quality.

P.S.S. Did you know that the goverment blocks access to Facebook throughout all of Vietnam? It's true. Silly Communists.

Same, same but different

2011-03-17T14:02:00.002-04:00

In this life, a person will experience varying levels of coldness. On one end of the coldness spectrum, you're presented with these types of situations:
- Situation A: You go outside and after about a half hour you realize you probably should have worn a sweater. A little chill, but nothing too serious if you just sack up and stop a whiny little bitch.
- Situation B: Usually occurs in late October or early November, the day you realize that flip flop season is officially over. The saddest day of the year, but still managable.
- Situation C:  You go to a movie in California, wearing your summer gear. The powers that be crank up the AC to an ungodly level that forces you to cocoon inside your t-shirt and use a handful of napkins as a faux foot blanket. Eff you, random movie theater in San Diego. I'll never be able to watch
"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" the same way again.  P.S. It's a terrible movie, so this was a blessing in disguise.

On the other end, you have these doozies:
- Situation D: Taking a cold shower in the middle of the winter due to the fact that the gas bill has not been paid. Pretty terrible, but ok considering you can put on dry clothes and go to a friend's house to warm up and take advantage of their prompt bill payments.
- Situation E: Snowy Sunday night Steeler game from the 500 level of Heinz Field at the end of December. Sure you can't feel your fingers or toes, but you're surrounded by beer swilling yinzers and the Steelers are playing so if you're thinking about being cold, then you're a loser.
- Sitation F: Venturing across the Syracuse University campus during a winter snowstorm with one of your idiot friends in order to get a sandwich from Pita Pit. Sure the wind is chilling your bones and you're fighting through a couple feet of snow, but there is a delicious hot pita on the other end so it's totally worth it. Also, you're in college so you can't complain about anything because college is awesome.

I've been through all of these situations and although somewhat uncomfortable, they build character and are usually fun to look back on later.  That was a notion that I had to keep in mind yesterday as the whole "being cold" thing was taken to an entirely different level:
-Situation G: Perched on a steel seat in an unsheltered row boat in the middle of a river in Northern Vietnam in a driving rain during an uncommonly cold day (if my Celcius to Fahrenheit conversion method is correct, it was about 48 degrees). Perhaps the fact that I've been enjoying tropical climates the past two months made it a bit more severe, but I honestly can't remember the last time I was so cold.

The fact that I was in the situation at all was a result of a spontaneous, last minute decision. I had made plans to go on a two-day tour of Halong Bay (a lovely little spot a few hours outside of Hanoi), but was informed about an hour before we were to depart that the trip had been cancelled due to an impending storm moving through. So the front desk guy suggested a tour of the Perfume Pagoda. He showed me some old school brochure that was written in Vietnamese but had some very nice pictures. After a minute of mulling it over, I agreed to take the $15 plunge and see what this was all about. About 10 seconds after that, the bus arrived and I was off on an adventure I knew nothing about. The tour bus was full of people of all ages and nationalities and I was lucky enough to sit next to a very interesting Syrian man who now lives in Sydney, working part time as a freelance author. So the hour long ride to our destination went by in an instant.  After we pulled into the parking lot, I made a pit stop at the squatter (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squat_toilet), haggled with a local lady for a cheap plastic poncho, and followed the group towards the Yen River.  We were battling a pretty heavy downpour at this point, but everyone was still in decent spirits. We then loaded up on our boat and started our journey to the pagoda.  First 10 minutes were cool, as I looked around and felt like I was in a movie. Countless boats lined either side of the river. Hundreds of people in conical hats contrasting against the lush green mountains in the background, creating postcard worthy images of typical Vietnamese life.   Just as I was getting lost in the scene, the rains picked up and the spirits slowly waned.  The bottom of the boat slowly filled with water and my shoes and pants were powerless against the onslaught (fun fact: cold, wet denim is kind of heavy). Around that time, a nice older Australian fellow asked our trusty tour guide Tony (a funny little Vietnamese guy whose birth name was definitely not Tony) what would happen if we were to experience any kind of emergency out on the water. Tony shot a puzzled look, put his hands up and said "Swim?"   Haha so that was comforting.

The final 50 minutes of the boat ride were a physical and mental strain, as I tried to enjoy the scene surrounding me while constantly squirming around trying to maintain feeling in my fingers and toes.  I only kind of succeeded. Anyways, we did eventually make it to our docking spot which was right in front of a little food stand that had a massive goat carcass hanging from the roof. Good advertising. As we walked to the entrance of the pagoda, we passed countless other food stands with countless animal carcasses represented.  Boar heads, cow legs, whole baby deer, squirrels, and a certain roasted animal that I couldnt quite identify. I asked Tony and he responded by making fake animal ears with his fingers and simply saying "meow."  He then laughed a lot.  Sick bastard. After we made it through the culinary maze, we hiked up a little hill and went inside a few of the temples. If you want to learn about the Perfume Pagoda experience, here's a thorough summary from my peeps at Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfume_Pagoda

As weird and twisted as this sound, I think I actually enjoyed the boat ride back and forth more than the actual Pagoda. Sure it was freezing cold and I kind of wanted to die, but it was an experience that I will never forget. I had no idea what I was getting into when the day started and I still dont really know what the hell was going on, but it was an adventure to be sure.  One of those strange days that I'm sure will be remembered with a smile (and a hot cup of coffee because the mere mention of it will probably send a shiver).

Anyways, that was just one of the adventures I've had here in Hanoi. Unfortunately it's been cold and rainy the whole time I've been here, but I've still tried to get out and get a feel for things. My life in pictures:

Livin in the lap of luxury. This room came complete with a nice unbunked bed, my own bathroom, a TV with American channels (never thought I'd miss horrible MTV dating shows, but I found myself transfixed by a few one rainy afternoon), free wifi, and a pretty nice buffet breakfast every morning. All this for the low, low price of $20/night. I'm the king of the world!

Pho bo a.k.a. Vietnamese beef noodle soup a.k.a. my latest obsession. I've had it at least once a day since I've been here. It's the national dish of Vietnam and it's delicious and it generally costs about $1.50 a bowl. If you live in the Burgh and you want to test this out, head to Tram's Kitchen in Bloomfield. No frills kinda place, but the food is excellent and quite authentic.

0.000000000000000000001% of Vietnam's motorbike population. Crossing the street is a total adventure here. The motorbikes dont stop for you, they just kind of weave around you. My strategy has been to walk with a purpose and pretend like I'm not scared shitless. Haven't been run over yet, so I'll consider it a success.

The Huc Bridge on Hoan Kiem Lake in Hanoi's historical center. My hotel is a few blocks away. Its a nice little piece of serenity amidst the chaotic streets of Hanoi.

Art is in the eye of the beholder. To me this statue by the lake says something like, "This globe is not to scale...that bird is probably taking a crap...I bet the owner of those hands has a hell of a time finding gloves that fit."

Our chariot awaits. The boat to the Perfume Pagoda.

Looks like the lady selling those cheap plastic ponchos made a killing. Visiting pagodas in the rain is fun!

I found a set of stairs off to the side of the main action and decided to explore. I was met at the top by this lovely little structure. If you venture a little bit farther back, there is a narrow cave that houses a temple. I walked in and there were a bunch of people praying and paying their respects. I felt bad for intruding, but it was a pretty cool thing to witness.

Exploring is fun.

This lady is pretty pumped about things.

I don't know why, but this kid really wanted me to take his picture. So here's a random kid. Enjoy.

Sorry for how gross this picture is, but it gives you a small taste of some of the things that I saw at the Perfume Pagoda markets. Just be happy I didn't post any roasted cat shots.

Front end boat driver. The two ladies directing our vessel were like a well oiled machine. They've got to have the nicest delts in all of Nam.

Despite the miserable conditions, the scenery was still ridiculously beautiful.

So that's what I've been up to. A few random observations about Vietnam before I sign off:

- Most people here (men and women) have really long thumb nails. It weirds me out slightly.

- Vietnamese food is excellent. And ridiculously cheap. A nice filling meal and 2 beers generally costs about $4. I dig it.

- The Vietnamese are quite stoic. Perhaps I've been spoiled by my homeboys and girls back in Bali, but there doesn't seem to be a lot of laughter around here. Maybe the stupid rain is just bumming everyone out.

- Went to the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum today: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ho_Chi_Minh_Mausoleum. Very interesting/strange experience. You wait in line for about a half hour before being ushered into the mausoleum in a single file line. There is no talking, no picture taking and no hands allowed in pockets. You walk up some stairs and then enter a room and Boom! there's Uncle Ho laid out in a big glass box. The Vietnamese people look on with great reverance and some even gasp at the sight. He looked pretty well preserved for a guy who's been dead for 40 years. This, I learned, was due to the fact that his body is sent to Russia for a few months every year for maintainence. Anyways, it was a crazy thing to look at for 30 seconds.

Ok I think I might be getting carpal tunnel so I'm going to have to peace out. Tomorrow will be a full day tour of Halong Bay. Get back around 8pm and then have to catch an overnight train at 11pm that will deliver me to the town of Hue at 10am on Saturday. So I'm pretty confident that an entertaining story will emerge from that experience. Stay tuned for details.

Keep on rockin in the free world....

Good golly, I love Bali

2011-03-12T23:32:00.004-05:00

Slingin it in Singapore at the moment. It's basically a big melting pot of a place with heavy Chinese, Malaysian and Indian influences. I did some exploring by foot today and discovered that Singapore is a sprawling mass of shopping centers, skyscrapers and modernity. I also experienced my first "hawker", which is basically just a multicultural food court. There are hawkers all around town and you can get cuisine from whatever part of the world you fancy. It's a wonderful concept that is extremely popular because the quality of the food is high and the price is right (about $5 for a more than filling meal).

Before I continue with Singapore, let me tell you about my last few days in Bali. They were relaxing and ridiculous all at the same time. Spent a couple of days in Ubud channeling my inner 'Eat, Pray, Love' Julia Roberts alter ego. I actually have no idea what happened in that book or movie, but I can certainly understand how that lady's heart was captured by Ubud. Such a cool little spot, with buzzing markets, relaxed cafes, and that overwhelming Balinese friendliness and warmth. I spent a morning in the markets, walking around the endless stalls of jewelry, batik, sarongs, and a weird abundance of phallic wood carvings (not sure what that's all about, but the 70-year old lady who tried to pawn the weiner shaped bottle opener on me was hilarious). There was a ton of beautiful stuff I wanted to buy, but when you've got your life in a backpack, space is limited and self-restraint is paramount. Beyond that I poked around with some French Canadien girl that I met at Echoland. She was a flight attendant from Montreal. Pretty cool but wouldn't stop referencing "the guide book" so that was kind of annoying and I decided that exploring on my own was a better option. Basically just walked around and found lots of cool stuff. Some highlights:

There are beautiful stone carved statues like this all over Bali. The vast majority of people in Bali are Hindu, so most statues are tied back to their faith. I believe this is Ganesha, the Hindu Lord of Success and destroyer of evils and obstacles. This was located about 5 feet from the front door of my bungalow.

This small little offering basket is called 'canang sari.' You will see thousands upon thousands of these all over Bali. The baskets are handwoven out of coconut leaves and the contents vary but normally contain a few flowers and rice or other small pieces of food. It's basically just an offering to show gratitude to the Gods for all they have provided. The simple offering appeases the spirits and brings good health and prosperity to the family.

Not sure what type of plant this is, but it looks pretty cool against the rice paddy backdrop.

I wasn't able to figure out what the occasion was, but I randomly stumbled across a group of about 100 people parading through the streets, banging drums and having a good old time. This picture also paints a very small portrait of the number of motorbikes that are constantly buzzing around.

My favorite 'lost in translation' effort to date. Not sure what those crazy Greeks are doing, but pastor sauce sounds pretty naughty. I kid, I kid. Ok, for those of you who need a little help, 'pastor sauce and soup chider cheese' = pesto sauce and sharp cheddar cheese. haha, I really love this.

So after a couple days in Ubud, I packed up and made my way to the town of Sanur to meet a crazy displaced Yinzer who graciously offered to put me up for a couple nights. I approached a couple taxi drivers to see how much it was going to cost to get me to Sanur and the only response the one guy gave me was "Sanur? Prostitutes!" So I wasn't really sure how to take that, but no worries. Haggled with the other guy and was able to work out a deal to get me to Sanur (an hour long trip) for about $10. When we arrived, we were met on the road by a lovely little Balinese lady named Supani. Little did I know then, but this little angel of a woman would prove to be the most bad ass cook and amazing host ever over the course of the next two days. She grabbed my bag, led me down a little street and opened a gate to a sweet little compound where I spent every second of my 48 hour Sanur visit. There was a lovely little pool, lush tropical greenery, an outdoor seating area, and a sweet little two bedroom house. I walked in and was greeted with a big hug by Neil, a 55ish guy from West Mifflin. I was introduced to him through my pal Leigh, who met him in yoga class. Neil is a total trip. Spends half of his time back in the Burgh getting his hands in a bunch of different business ventures and the other half in Bali (and the surrounding area) doing a lot of awesome stuff like skydiving, scuba diving and surfing. Not a bad little existence. Anyways, he's a total yinzer and I was beyond thrilled when he started talking and revealed some truly killer Pittsburghese. Beyond amazing. So the first night was spent hanging by the pool with him and his buddy George, a super chill dreadlocked lesbian from England. I got some back stories, shared my tale and immediately felt at home. It was during this time that I realized that Neil is a total baller by Balinese standards. In addition to Supani, he employs three other ladies who more or less wait on him hand and foot. While I was there, every meal was made to order, every beer was delivered ice cold, and every request was fulfilled with a smile. Ridiculous really. I was treated to a traditional Balinese massage, an introductory scuba lesson in the pool, and more stories than I can even remember. To give you a reference point, Neil base jumped off a skyscraper in Bangkok at 4am the day before I arrived. So like I said, ridiculous.

Life on the road is so hard!

That hammock and I became really good friends by the end of things...

New goal in life: get my scuba certification and return to Bali to go diving with my new buds. Apparently Bali is one of the world's best diving spots, so I'd be remiss not to return. George told me I was a natural during our lesson. That may have been a lie, but I'm going to believe it anyways.

This was usually waiting for me every morning when I woke up. Really rough couple of days.

Me, Istay, Neil and Supani. Istay was the sweetest lady ever and liked to practice her English with me. When I gave her a hug goodbye she said "please don't forget about us." Impossible.

Istay out, George in. She's pretty bad ass. Doesn't own a bra or a pair of shoes. Just surfs and dives and does the things she loves. As you can see from Supani's grip on Neil, it really is a family and I was honored to get a small glimpse of it, if only for a couple of days.

So after a thoroughly exhausting couple of days perfecting my rest and relaxation skills, I bid my new crew a fond farewell and started my journey to Singapore. The airport is massive and the city is incredibly clean and safe. My hostel is in the Little India section of town, which is a decent locaion for exploring the sights and sounds of this bustling metropolis. A few highlights from Saturday's self-guided walking tour:

Skinless frogs for sale at the neighborhood grocery store. So meaty.

Giant fish heads. Fish head curry is a popular dish apparently. Haven't tried it, but there's still time I suppose.

This picture is funny because that Asian couple risked their lives to run out into oncoming traffic to get this shot. Totally worth it though.

Lots of new, crazy modern buildings in Singapore. This is just your typical 3 columned skyscraper with a gigantic ship dumped on top. If you have $25 you can go up to the top and check out the views of the surrounding marina. I'm a cheapskate these days, so I opted to take it all in on ground level.

This is a pretty cool shot of Marina Bay. The Singapore Flyer on the left, Helix bridge that links the two sides of the Harbor, the ship building (which is called the Marina Bay Sands), the art museum, and a whole mess of glass and steel buildings downtown.

Missed the name of this structure, but apparently its home to a library and an arena. Looks like durian fruit to me.

Piss poor attempt to capture myself in front of a modern architectual marvel. for On a sidenote, right after I took this picture a guy approached and asked if he wanted me to take one for me. I agreed and was then held hostage for about an hour as he basically gave me his life story. He was a Jewish missionary from California. The first half hour was fascinating as he told me about his travels around the world. Then he started talking about how America had gone into the shitter because Monica Lewinsky was Jewish and other borderline insane conpiracy theories and I started to get really antsy. Interesting interaction, but the picture he took was really horrible and didnt even show the building. So anyways, this is all you get.

No gum in Singapore, but they make up for it with a vast array of mint choices. I got yelled at for taking this picture. Luckiy I avoided being caned.

Cheers to wordplay! Best shop in Singapore.

So the one thing you'll notice immediately about Singapore is that there are a ridiculous amount of shopping malls and from what I can tell each one tries to outdo the other. So I ventured into one that appeared to be pretty much brand new and was met with this. Basically its a big waterfall kind of thing that dumps water into a river that winds throughout the mall and ends up at the mouth of a casino. I was told by an old Japanese man that it has to do with the notion of feng shui and because the water circulates to the casino, it will bring money and prosperity to the mall. Or something like that.

Singapore at night. Rather pretty don't you think?

So yeah, Singapore is not a bad place. A big melting pot of people, architecture, and design. Not a bad stop for a couple days, but I think that's about all you need. I had heard that it was really expensive here and although there are some things that are priced ridiculously, I have found it to be rather reasonable. So that's always nice.

I think that's about all I have to report for now. Early morning flight to Hanoi tomorrow so probably just going to do a bit more walking around today and then getting myself prepped and ready for Vietnam.

I'm still kind of tripping out about the fact that I'm in Asia and there are many moments where I feel I'm living in a strange surreality. But even though my head is often in the clouds, my feet are always on the ground and they have already led me to places and adventures I never could have imagined. Life is fun. People are good. The world is beautiful.

Silence is golden...

2011-03-07T22:49:00.001-05:00

Coming to you live and in color from the Indonesian island of Bali! I've been here for a few days now and although I had very mixed feelings initially, the overwhelming sense of peace and tranquility that pervades this place has begun to take hold.

Before we delve into my Balinese adventures, let's take a journey back in time to recap my final days in the wonderful land of Oz. I spent the majority of my time in and around Adelaide, which I really enjoyed. The city is easily navigated by foot and they have a bad ass free bike rental program so I was able to get a really good feel for the area when all was said and done.

I've lost track of days at this point, but this one time I woke up and was feeling particularly motivated so I laced up the old sneakers and went for a little run. Probably did about 5k (fyi, I use the metric system now because I'm really cultured and well-travelled) which was the longest I've run in quite some time. That was a pretty boring thing for you to have to read about, but life on the road isn't all rainbows and unicorns, ya know? After my run, I checked out of the 18-person per room hostel and transferred to another hostel a few blocks away. It was heavenly with only 4 to a room and nice big lockers to store all your crapola. After I got situated there I went to this unassuming little store front and took full advantage of a program that every city in the world should try to duplicate. Say hi to an unfriendly lady at a desk, hand crabby pants your passport, fill out a little form, sign your name and you're given a bike, a helmet and a lock for the entire day free of charge. Pretty much the best thing ever, especially considering the fantastic river trail they have that takes you from the heart of the city to the white sandy beaches 15 km (haha, now I'm just being an asshole) outside of town. So I pedaled my little heart out and made it to the beach in about an hour or so. Very lovely beach too, which was a nice little surprise. Soaked up some rays, swam to a sand bar, read part of a book (to date, I have started 5 books and finished none), and had a dream of day.

The next day I did a little wine tasting tour in the Barossa Valley, which is about an hour outside of Adelaide. There are countless wineries in this region and we were able to hit up 4 of them. We started at Jacob's Creek which was the the biggest and most mainstream I guess. The lady running the show there was quite good and I finally learned what a wine with "good legs" looks like. Basically it has something to do with the sugar content of the wine and how it sticks to the side of the glass. So if you ever want to have a glass of vino with me (and why wouldn't you?), be prepared to have your mind blown by my vast knowledge and expertise. After that we went to a couple of "boutique wineries" (which I'm pretty sure is just a nice name for a small winery) and then closed out the day at a place that specializes in fortified wines and ports. There we were shown a bottle of 100 year old port that sells for $975. The size of the bottle is equivalent to a can of Coke so they also offer a teaspoon of the stuff for $30. Anyone who purchases either one of those is an idiot. The 10 year old port was super sweet and a terrible addition to my belly that was already full of Riesling and Shiraz and whatnot. So I had to kindly use the spittoon for that one. I had a slight buzz by the end of the day, but held my shit much better than the pack of 19 and 20 year olds that were on the tour with me. They were all passed out on the bus ride home. What is this, amateur hour?? Kids these days, I'll tell ya what. Anyways, I learned some stuff, drank good wine, ate a kangaroo filet (tasted like a hybrid of beef and venison), and marked the day as a success. Here's what some of that looked like:

Sweet ride. I had to special request that helmet for my dome piece. It was an XL. I have a big brain. And some hair.

Don't mind if I do...

Jacob's Creek Vineyard. A middle-aged Swedish lady on the tour farted right after I took this picture.

My wine cellar at home is much more impressive than this crap.

Captive audience. Alcohol brings the people together.

100 year old port. If my calculations are correct, that's about $300 worth of syrupy fun.

Best store in Adelaide. Quit bein so nebby and go get me a jumbo sammich, ya jag!

So I left Australia with a smile on my face and a hop in my step. Although my time there was short, I was incredibly happy with the amount of things I got to see and people I got to meet. I hope against hope that I'll be able to make it back again some day as it will always hold a very special place in my heart. All good things must come to an end, but luckily for me, there was another good thing on the immediate horizon...

I boarded the plane from Adelaide to Denpasar, Bali early Wednesday morning with anxious anticipation for my first foray into Asia. Nothing happened during the flight except I was in the row right in front of the exit row so my seat didn't recline and that was a bummer. The other man in my aisle was pissed. He also changed his outfit three times during the course of the 5-hour flight, so he may or may not have been a crazy person. After we touched down, I went straight to the nearest ATM so I could get some cash to purchase my Indonesian visa. So I put my card in, enter my pin and wait for some fun new currency to be dispensed. But instead of a wad of cash, I just got an error message and a giant pit in my stomach. I tried about 5 more times before it became clear that I'd have to explore other options. This situation was my first introduction into the friendliness of the Balinese people. A nice young man recognized my plight and instructed me to leave my passport with some guy at a desk and go to a row of other ATMs on the other side. So that plan worked and that guy was my new hero. The currency here is called rupiah and it comes in really big denominations so the easiest way I remember is that 100,000 rupiah is equal to about $11.50. So I took out a cool million, got my visa, cleared customs, met a driver from my hotel and we were on our merry way to the Echoland Bed & Breakfast. The ride there was an eye opening experience as motorbikes and cars weaved around each other in a chaotic rhythm that I couldn't quite grasp. There were people jockeying for position at every turn and although I thought we were going to see at least a dozen accidents, everyone managed to avoid catastrophe. Definitely not in Kansas anymore, Toto. The area around the airport is pretty ugly, with strip malls and nondescript storefronts and things of that nature. But once we got out of that area, we were met with some lush hillside greenery and more of what you envision when you think of Bali. After about a half an hour in the car, my driver turned down a narrow little road that was lined with construction sites on either sides. It kind of looked like a small bomb had gone off as piles of rubble were strewn about and skinny cows lazily grazed between them. My heart sank a tiny bit when I looked up and saw that my accommodation for the first 4 days of my trip was located right next door to this scene. I didn't see any pictures of this on their website. Weird. Fortunately my spirits were lifted as soon as I got to the reception desk and was warmly greeted by a short squat little man who, over the course of the next 4 days, would prove to be the nicest person in history.

So I checked in and went to my room, which consisted of two sturdy 3-level bunk beds, a lovely outdoor bathroom (with an outdoor shower, one of my favorite things in the world), and two chicks hanging out in their beds (the bottom bunks, of course...bastards). I introduced myself and was beyond surprised when both of them responded with American accents! Keegan, a 26 year old from Michigan who was in the midst of a 6 month around the world tour and Christine, a 35 year old Manhattanite who was just wrapping up a 3 month Asian adventure. They looked incredibly bored and were most definitely suffering from cabin fever. I learned that they had both been there for 4 days already and were going insane because there was next to nothing to do in the little hamlet of Echo Beach.

I got myself settled and decided to do some exploring and see if they were right or not. Turns out they were. I walked about a quarter mile down the road and saw a tiny stretch of black sand beach and a few restaurants and that was about the extent of it. I also noticed massive cranes and big construction areas and realized that this was to be the next tourist trap of Bali. Good for local business, I suppose, but sad in the sense that it will never look as it once did. Anyways, I grabbed some lunch and sampled the local pilsner (it's called Bintang...pretty much the only beer that's readily available which is fine because it's pretty decent). After that I hung by the pool and chatted with my new roomies about their travels. They were going on a tour the next day and they invited me along so I took up the offer with no hesitation. We were picked up the next morning by a nice fat little man named Paris. I'm willing to bet that's not his real name, but I digress. He took us all over the place and we got to visit a coffee farm, have lunch at a volcano, meet some locals at a rice paddy, and take in some traditional Balinese dancing. Not a bad little day.

The pool of Echoland Bed and Breakfast. If you have to be confined to your hotel for an extended period of time, you could do much worse.

Coffee and tea tasting. The specialty coffee in Bali is called Kopi Luwak which is produced in a very interesting way that you can read about here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kopi_Luwak . Oddly enough, we only learned of this process after the tasting was over. Nice and shitty. Ha!

There are countless little fruit stands like this set up along the streets, which I'm a big fan of. Had my first taste of something called snakefruit. Not too shabby, although I've been told that they make you super constipated. So I think I'll steer clear of those moving forward.

I swear to God, if I have another lunch with a breathtaking panoramic view of a volcano...

Rice paddies are pretty awesome.

Cutest man ever. What he lacked in teeth, he made up with in personality.

Might have to print this one out and hang it on my wall when I get back.

Thumbs up to adorable old Balinese ladies! Fun fact: this lady's boob was hanging out of the bottom of her shirt a few seconds before this was taken.

So after our day of fun, it was time to prepare for Nyepi, the Balinese new year/day of silence. I was unaware of this traditional Hindu holiday until a nice Australian man told me all about it on my flight over. Here's a nice succinct summary of what Nyepi entails: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nyepi. The girls that I was sharing a room with (the 2 Americans and 3 additional Norwegians) were kind of bummed about the fact that we were going to be confined to our hotel from Friday night to Sunday morning, but I was actually looking forward to being able to experience such an important day. On the days and weeks leading up to Nyepi, local townspeople all over Bali construct these gigantic and quite impressive "puppets" that are designed to be scary and intimidating in nature. These represent the evil spirits that exist. On the night before Nyepi begins, these creations are paraded through the streets and then ceremoniously burned. After that takes place, everyone retires to their homes and the island literally shuts down. The only people who are allowed outside on the streets are special patrolmen who go around and make sure that everyone is inside and that no lights are being used. Slightly different way to celebrate the new year. For tourists, Nyepi must be spent within the confines of their hotel. So my day was spent lounging by the pool, reading, writing, getting to know my roommates, drinking a few beers, and reflecting on the current state of affairs. It's wild to get firsthand experience of something that you had no idea even existed a few days prior. Although I started to get a tad bit antsy when the sunset and the hotel was completely pitch black, I was absolutely privileged to be able to witness such an important day. It's obviously never going to happen, but how nice would it be if everyone in the world would take a day to disconnect from the distractions of everyday life and do a little bit of self-reflection? Didn't get any great shots of the puppets because I didn't want to intrude on the tradition, but here are a couple pictures I was able to capture from the car:

Demonic puppet creature

Nothing scarier than an oversized baby in a plaid g-string

Oh also, the front desk guy at the hotel a.k.a. the nicest man in the world proved his title during Nyepi. He made sure everyone was fed and that we knew the proper procedures and he even set up an empty room as a DVD movie theater. If there is one thing that I will remember about Bali, it will most definitely be the extreme friendliness and hospitality of the people.

After 5 days in Echo Beach, I was ready to move on and experience a different part of Bali so I made my way to Ubud, an artist's community in central Bali that was apparently the setting for the Bali portion of "Eat, Pray, Love." I've never read the book or seen the movie, but I could understand how someone would be inspired by a place like this. Beautiful handmade crafts everywhere and you can escape the hustle and bustle of the main streets very easily. Turn down a side street and you are met with quiet rice paddies, lazy breezes and peaceful vibes. Good contrast and one that I've enjoyed thus far. I can only imagine what this place must have been like before it was popularized by Hollywood. One thing that bums me out a little bit when I travel is seeing how things are commodified and commercialized to cater towards tourists. I know its the way of the world and tourism improves the quality of life for the locals, but it also changes the landscape of a place in a an irreversible way. If a guidebook mentions an area as a "hidden gem" it immediately ceases to be one. Ok, apologies for getting so incredibly deep on you there but I've had quite a lot of time to think about things lately.

Alright well I'm done boring you now. Should you be interested in checking back in with me at any point, here's what I've got on the horizon:
- One more day in Ubud to enjoy an hour long Balinese massage for $6 (true story), haggle for a dress or two at the local markets (think i might have packed a bit too much cotton clothing for this portion of the trip...its steamy over here), and enjoy an ice cold Bintang or two.
- Final two days in Bali will be spent in Sanur, which is a beach side community where a friend of a friend has agreed to put me up for 2 nights and give me an insider's perspective on the area. Woohoo!
- Depart on Friday, March 11th for Singapore. Based on the conversations I've had with other travelers, you only need a couple days in Singapore so that's exactly how long I'll be there. Better get all my gum chewing in before then.
- Depart Singapore on Monday, March 14th for the bustling metropolis of Hanoi, Vietnam. Plan after that is to take two weeks to make my way south through Vietnam to Ho Chi Minh City. From there I'll take a bus to Siem Reap, Cambodia to spend a few days touring the city and the surrounding temples of Angor Wat. After that, I'll take another bus over to Bangkok where I'll spend a hot minute before departing for Istanbul and the European leg of this wild ride (tentatively scheduled for an April 5th departure).

Whew, I'm tired just typing that itinerary! Hopefully I don't overdose on relaxation here in Bali, otherwise I think I'll be in for a rather unpleasant surprise once I hit the chaotic streets of Hanoi.

Before I sign off, I just wanted to say a sincere thank you to everyone for the positive feedback that I've gotten so far. I greatly enjoy recapping my adventures and I hope my ramblings are at least somewhat as entertaining to read about as they are to live. Cheers!

Sea Lions and Kangaroos and Koala Bears, oh my!

2011-02-28T08:33:00.001-05:00

Greetings, my friends!

Rumors of this blog's demise have been greatly exaggerated....

I've been traveling to some more remote parts of Australia so haven't had access to the internet or cell phone services. I've also been lazy. Hence the lack of a recent update. Ok, anyways, I've been rather busy over the past 10 days. Scoped out Melbourne for a few days (eh), cruised the Great Ocean Road (woohoo), explored the bustling metropolis of Adelaide (neat), and made friends with lots of critters on Kangaroo Island (yippee).

Let's start with Melbourne. Perhaps I wasn't in the right spots or didn't see the right things, but I didn't really get the attraction of Melbourne. It was nice enough, but nothing really jumped out at me. If I had to draw a comparison, I would say that Sydney is Pittsburgh and Melbourne is Cleveland. So basically, Sydney is decidedly cooler. First couple days were spent at the Exford Hotel which is a shitty hostel located above a raucous bar that bans you from wearing flip flops. Needless to say, I wasn't a big fan. The set up was dumb and didn't allow much in the way of guest interaction so I was more than happy to move on from there. The hostel I stayed in for the next couple nights was located in a little beach town called St. Kilda's. It's about 4 miles outside of Melbourne so I decided to walk because I like walking. I don't, however, particularly care for walking in sweltering heat with 30 pounds of gear strapped to my back. Lesson learned. The reward of my journey was a rather nice hostel that was clean and organized and had a nice relaxed vibe with lots of friendly young peoples all over the place. I dug it immediately. As I was making dinner the first night I befriended a couple of crazy Scottish rubgy players. I only understood about every fifth word they said, but that was more than enough to let me know that they were hilarious and that we would get along just fine. The 3 of us headed to a local pub and had a grand old time dancing around like idiots. Not sure if you knew this, but Scottish rubgy players drink a lot...so needless to say I was struggling the next morning. Nothing a dip in the ocean couldn't remedy though. Unfortunately the beach at St. Kilda is kind of a dump. Oh well, they can't all be winners. I laid on the beach, read a stupid book that I think was aimed towards middle aged women but the only decent one available at the hostel's book exchange, and made it an early night as I had a 7am wake up call the next morning. A couple of images of Melbourne to whet your whistle (fyi - these are out of order but the process of rearranging them has caused severe frustration so just take what you get and like it):

View of Melbourne skyline from the Yarra River Walk. Ok I guess.

The Royal Exhibition Building. I discovered this by accident on a late evening stroll. It was surrounded by some nice botanical gardens and statues of little kids peeing into a fountain. Those are always fun.

Maggie, surprisingly enough your family's makes a pretty decent bottle of vino. The floral undertones were to die for!

Exford Hotel. Don't stay here if you're in Melbourne.

Another giant face at the entrance of a carnival area in St. Kilda that was also called Luna Park. I guess there aren't a lot of options when it comes to naming amusement parks since Kennywood is already taken.

As the sun rose on Sunday morning, I was met at the hostel door by two fun loving Aussie blokes who would prove to be incredible tour guides for the 3 days on the 600 mile journey along the Great Ocean Road. Leith was a pretty boy from Adelaide who had some kind of form of OCD which proved to be an excellent source of entertainment. Sean was a super laidback surfer with a wealth of knowledge and passion in regards to the land, wildlife and people of Australia. They were an odd couple, which was perfect. Our tour group was rather small with only 7 people, but that also proved to be a winning combination. Rachel, a 23 year old nurse from Wales who was in Australia for 2 months on a work exchange; Stu, a dashing 18 year old kid from England who on his gap year adventure; Sandra, a talkative 28 year old German girl who was in month 9 of her 12 month working/traveling trip; Bern, a funny 20-something guy from Bavaria who I'm pretty sure filmed every single thing we did on the trip; Youre, a 22 year old Dutch kid who wore a Yankees cap and a smile the whole journey; and Roland, a 30 year old Swiss fellow with long hair, a Slayer t-shirt and some rockin B.O. An eclectic group to be sure. We were like a little family by the end. Highly enjoyable trip with highly enjoyable people. Some highlights of our trek:

What's so special about this picture, you ask? Well nothing really, except for the fact that those are the same steps used during the dramatic final scene of "Point Break." This is at Bell's Beach, home to the Rip Curl Championship (or something like that...basically a bad ass surfing beach, k?)

Great Ocean Road sign, which also has magnetic powers that attracts Asian tourists from far and wide.

The first of many Apostles. The waves crash into the limestone cliffs. Erosion slowly works away at the limestone, leaving behind various awesome stuff like this.

Just practicing my skills so I'm set when I get to the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Eiffel Tower.

Look, ma...I made friends! The rag tag crew

So this one time a big Scottish ship made it from Scotland to Australia in 3 months, normally a 6 month journey. To celebrate their good success, they got drunk and forgot to pay attention to the fact that their ship was headed into a cliff. Needless to say, the celebration was cut short. There were only two survivors. A man and a woman who managed to swim to this beach, make it through the night by sipping brandy and possibly having sex with each other. The next morning the man scaled the cliffs, found some Australian farmers nearby and rescued his lady love. That's a true story (except maybe the sex part). Anyways, a lot of stuff along the Great Ocean Road is named after those two crazy kids. If i had a better memory I would be able to recall their names. I'll Google it later.

Thumbs up to hidden caves with stalagtites (or stalagmites...I always get those mixed up)

The infamous 12 Apostles (although there are actually only 8 now). We went here to watch the sunset. The sun basically peaced out without really saying goodbye, but we were left with some incredibly dramatic backdrops like this one. It was cold and the wind was whipping across the water and life was good.

Cheesin with the Apostles

I put my life on the line to capture these images for you. You're welcome.

London Bridge. Those two masses of rock used to be connected by a natural arch, which collapsed in 1990. At the time of the collapse, there were two people stranded on the rock to right. Rumor has it that they were engaged in some extramarital affairs when it collapsed. So that's basically the worst luck in the history of the world.

This dude was super drunk on eucalyptus. But oh so cuddly!

That's either a baby joey nursing from his mama or this is kangaroo porn....

That's an emu

Roos are rad

Wally. He was old and he smelled weird, but he got the job done.

Welcome to South Australia, bitches!

A couple weird observations about getting speeding tickets in Australia - 1. like everything else around here, they'll put a major dent in your wallet. 2. when you get pulled over, you get out of your car and approach the cop, not the other way around. I bet that leads to a decent amount of guns being pulled on Australian visitors to the US.

So the trip was a rousing success. We even liked each other well enough to go out for drinks when we got into Adelaide on Tuesday night. There is a big art/music festival going off in Adelaide right now called the Fringe Fest so we were lucky enough to see some pretty decent live music and a comedy show. Adelaide appears to be a little bit more affordable than Melbourne and Sydney, but it's still freakin expensive in this country. A pint of some local ale put me back $7. Shit like this makes New York City seem like a real bargain. But the beer was cold and the company was good so no complaints on my end.

I guess the trip really wore me out because I actually slept in until about 11 am the next morning. Unheard of! Rest of the day was devoted to scoping out the Central Markets, eating some local fruit, laying in a nice sunny park, and being cool. Ate a delicious cereal dinner and got some shut eye as I had to be up at 5:30 the next morning to begin my 2 day tour of Kangaroo Island. Guide for this tour was a guy named Jason who seemed tired and less than enthusiastic to be there. Lame. The tour was filled to the brim with 12 of us stuffed into a little van. Again, it was me and a bunch of Europeans (English, Swedish, Dutch, German and Swiss). America is not well represented out here on the open road. I guess it's because of the lack of proper vacation time. Or something like that. Everyone is blown away by the fact that the standard vacation time is only 10 days. It is strange to be in the minority all the time, but I try to represent the old homefront as best as I can. And if anyone has had any negative opinions of America, they've at least kept their pie holes shut so no fist fights yet. Anyways, we took a ferry from Cape Jervis to Penneshaw and there we were on Kangaroo Island. The human population is only about 4000, but the wildlife population is probably 1000 times that. Saw lots of interesting critters and got to experience some authentic Australian experiences so despite the guide's ho-hum attitude, still managed to have a good time. Still weird to see kangaroos hop across the road like it's no big deal, but life is weird so I guess it makes sense.

This is Celine, an orphan kangaroo that is being raised by the owner of a eucalyptus oil farm on Kangaroo Island. That sentence is crazy and true. Anyways, Celine's mother was run over by a car and left for dead on the side of the road. A short time later, a tourist from Canada drove by and found her. He then drove to the nearest establishment he could find (the eucalyptus oil farm) and alerted them of the issue. As luck would have it, the farm owner's wife was a certified animal rehabilitator. Unfortunately, the mother died, but Celine was saved and the Canuck was given naming rights. I hate Celine Dion but that's the only bad part about this story.

That's just some sea lions playing on the beach. They go out to sea to hunt for three days then swim back to shore and rest up for 3 days. Not a bad gig.

Our humble abode for the evening.

So we were given the option of sleeping inside the cabin on some dank and musty mattresses, or setting up a swag and sleeping with the wildlife under the stars. You bet your ass I chose the latter. I didn't really know a swag was prior to this experience, but its a great invention that's basically like a rollaway mattress type thing that's encased by a sturdy canvas that you just tuck inside. It's warm and cozy and I dug it. Of our group of 12, only 5 girls participated in the swagging. Those who didn't are idiots. We saw a couple possums, heard a bunch of weird shit, but made it through the night relativelly unscathed. Woot woot.

Look up cute in the dictionary and this is what you'll find.

Remarkable Rocks. Clever name.

Best camoflauge ever

That's probably poisonous

One of the coolest beaches I've ever been to. The end.

So after making friends with the animals, we made the trek back to Adelaide. It was long and I was super antsy by the end of it. I also felt like I was going to barf, so that might have had something to do with it. Finally made it back at around 9pm at which time I promptly set up my bed and crashed. My current hostel is just ok. They pack 18 chicks in one giant room so that's kinda weird. Some weirdo older German lady in the bed next to mine was lounging around in her bra and underoos last night so I rigged up some sheet curtains for a little privacy from her. I guess that makes me anti-social, but it's really just a survival tactic. Apparently Gilette doesn't do a lot of business in Deutchland. I'm just saying.

Ok well I think that about wraps it up for now. The weekend will be devote to scoping out some free Fringe Fest events in Adelaide and hanging out at a little beach town a few minutes outside the city called Glenelg. Barossa Wine Tour on Monday, preparation day Tuesday, and then Bali-bound on Wednesday. The party never ends!

Cheers!

P.S. They call ketchup "tomato sauce" here. It's watery and gross. Heinz 57, where are you?

The magical land of OZ

2011-02-16T21:53:00.000-05:00

Oh hello there!

I'm currently sitting at the State Library of Victoria in the Central Business District of Melbourne right now. It's a pretty dope little place from what I can tell. My hostel is a little bit sketchy because it's above a bar and the reception area is also the bar area and the main desk person is also a bartender. But I got a free beer when I checked in and it's in a nice centralized location so no worries. I'm actually only staying there for one more night and then I'm off to another hostel in a little beachside town called St. Kilda, which is only a few miles outside the city. The hostel there seems a lot nicer and more laid back. Stay tuned if that's accurate or not. I'll be there for 2 nights then I'm leaving early Sunday morning for a 3-day guided bus tour of the Great Ocean Road. The tour takes you from Melbourne to Adelaide so I'll get to Adelaide on Tuesday night. Still have to work out my accomodations there but basically I'll be there Tues and Wed night, then doing a 2 day tour of Kangaroo Island (google that for sure) on Thursday and Friday, followed by a day tour of the Barossa wine region on Monday where I'll sip vino and say stuff like "wow, I love the floral untertones of this one" and "this merlot has great legs!" and hope against hope that no one realizes that I have no idea what I'm actually talking about. Apparently the Barossa region is one of the best wine-producing areas in the world, so maybe I'll actually learn what a tannin is and then become a total wine snob.

I guess I got a little bit ahead of myself as I failed to even mention my last few days in Sydney. Unfortunately, the weather was kind of crappy so I didn't get to go to Manly Beach or the northern suburbs as I had planned. That's ok though because I did get to see the touristy sights and successfully completed the Coogee to Bondi beach walk on my last day. So all in all, I'd consider my return trip to be a wonderful success. For your viewing pleasure:

Super creepy fountain at the Botanical Gardens

The Orient Hotel. This one is for Marie. She's a mom now so I can't go into too much detail, but there is a story involving this bar, a bottle of Jack, and the McDonald's across the street. You'll have to figure out the rest.

The Syney Opera House. Maybe you've heard of it?

I feel like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles should live here.

Across the harbor is the entrance to Luna Park, an old time carnival that is protected by an oversized face.

If you have money to burn, you can walk on top of the Harbour Bridge for a few hundred bucks an hour.

Just some proof that me and my tongue were there.

Maybe it's because I'm from the Burgh, but I found thatI was much more intrigued by the Bridge than the Opera House. Or maybe it's because I don't get along well with divas. Haha, just a little opera humor.

You'll find these signs indicating pedestrian walkways all around the city. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure Michael Jackson was the model for the design. Beat it.

Kangaroo Bakpak, my humble abode for the week. Great place and great people.

Lovely view on the beach walk

And that, my friends, is the dreaded blue bottle a.k.a. Portuguese Man O War. If you see any of these washed up on the beach, don't go in the water. Unless you're into lots of pain and shortness of breath.

Surfers lining up for waves on Bondi

I can't figure out why this dumb thing won't let me rotate this picture, so you'll just have to crane your neck to see that this is a package of kangaroo filets at the local super market. Tasty.

So that's just a little taste of what I experienced in Sydney. I took the train from my hostel to the airport yesterday and was lucky enough to sit in front of two ex-cons who were more than open about discussing their time spent in the slammer. Both had been busted for drug dealing. I didn't have the courage to turn around and see what they actually looked like, but the one guy was going on and on about how his house got raided and the police officers found 12 kilos of pot but only wrote him up for 10 kilos so they could use 2 kilos for themselves. The other guy then retorted that the cops punched his mom in the face during the raid on his house. Mom broke her nose, son spent 6 years in the slammer. Pretty bad day.
It rained a ton last night so I didn't get a chance to explore the area as much as I would have liked, but I did get out to the Queen Victoria Markets this morning to walk around and take in some local flavor (as well as some Tasmanian cherries which could quite possibly be the best cherries I've ever tasted). My camera died so I was only able to get a few pics, but here you go:

Meats

Cheeses

Not sure if you can really tell what's going on here, but that lady is butchering goats and then hanging the remains on that meat hook behind her. Good times.

Melbourne sells custom made tampons for Steeler fans!

Whelp, that about wraps it up. The voyage continues to be a smashing success and I find that I'm living in a constant state of excitement. Excited about the things I've experienced so far and excited about the adventures that the future holds. Whoever said that "the journey is the destination" was spot on. Dig it.

Cheers!

P.S. After searching far and wide, I've finally found something that's cheaper in Australia than the US. Soft serve cones from McDonald's. They only set you back 50 cents here. Ok bye.

Aussie Aussie Aussie, oi oi oi!

2011-02-12T20:44:00.000-05:00

G'day from the future!

It's tomorrow where I am so that's trippy and weird to think about....but also kind of cool. As luck would have it, Sydney is just as wonderful as I remember it to be. The city is beautiful, the beaches are fantastic and the people are footloose and fancy free. The one glaring difference between now and my last stay here some 7 odd years ago is that the US dollar is not nearly as valuable anymore. It's freakin expensive here. Right now the US dollar and Australian dollar are pretty much equal to one another, which is bad news for me considering a pack of gum is $2.99 and a bottle of knock off Vitamin Water put me back $4.50. What the crap is that? I saw regular Vitamin Water and then some generic looking one and figured I was being frugal and smart. Apparently I was way off. Oh well. That just means that I have been in super bargain mode lately. So I've been walking everywhere I need to go, finding deals on regular groceries in Chinatown, finding deals on fresh produce at farmer's markets and finding free fun at every stop along the way.

Before I continue my OZ travelogue, let me share a few pictures from my last couple days in Hawaii. On Saturday, I took a little road trip to Wailua Falls. You pull off the main highway, drive a few miles and come to a little overlook and tiny parking area. As with most scenic overlooks in Hawaii, there were a good deal of fanny pack clad tourists snapping pictures and buffing their white tennis shoes. Haha, that last part isn't true but it is weird how everyone seemed to have brand new tennies. But I digress. It was an impressive sight from above, but I was hoping to get a more up close and personal view of things so I sought out a couple of locals who were in the parking area selling handwoven baskets and things of that nature. The husband looked like the Hawaiian version of Eddie Van Halen and the wife looked like a wife. I saw a little dirt path and asked them if it led anywhere fun and exciting. They said it only led to a little area where they take pee breaks. Not really what I had in mind. Luckily, they told me that I could access a path down to the waterfall if I "went past the two 'Danger: Do Not Enter' signs, hopped over the fence, held onto the rope and climbed down the trail." Done and done! So I told them to send for help if I wasn't back in 2 hours and then made my way down. The trail was steep and I did have to fjord a stream at one point, but it wasn't too bad of a journey. When I got down to the bottom of the trail, I felt the cool mist of the waterfall and was beckoned by the freshwater pool to take a little dip. So I put my bag down, climbed over some rocks and logs and made a less than graceful entry into the invigorating water (the rocks were covered in moss or something...dumb). It was only slightly embarrassing as I was protected from the eyes of the people above by a rocky overhang and there was no one else around. So I swam around for a bit, explored a little cave, and got as close to the base of the falls as I could before peeing my pants (or bathing suit in this case). It was another tremendous experience in which I was humbled by how much of a bad ass Mother Nature is. You go, girl.

Wailua Falls from the top

Flat Tina prefers the up close and personal view of Wailua Falls

Just another beautiful view from a random scenic overlook. I think that's the Wailua River Valley. I also think it's bad ass. Aloha and Mahalo, Hawaii!

I don't really remember what I did after that but I'm pretty sure I said goodbye to my tour guides, had some poke for dinner (Sidenote: I was slightly obsessed with poke while I was in Hawaii. It's basically bite sized chunks of really fresh raw fish mixed with herbs and spices and a variety of different sauces. It was delicious and nutritious and cheap and I loved it. The end.), and went to see "The King's Speech" at the local cinema. Excellent acting performances and very inspiring story. Check it out if you get a chance.

Sunday was reserved for Super Bowl festivities. I donned the Bradshaw jersey that the bartender in Oahu gave me, pulled out my Terrible Towel and entered the day with nervous anticipation. We watched the first half at some weirdly awesome steakhouse about a mile from Kevin's place. It was filled with old locals and it was great. There were a decent amount of Steeler fans (including a guy from Sharpsburg!) so I felt good about things initially. Then Christina Aguilera effed up the National Anthem and the game started and any optimism I had went out the window. As so often happens when I watch the Steelers, I drank beer to calm my nerves. Good idea. For the second half, we went to a little house party nearby where I positioned myself right next to the TV and tried desperately to find anyone who actually cared about what was going on. They were trying to be supportive of my cause, but that manifested itself into feeding me more beer instead of rooting for the Steelers. So I got drunk and the Steelers lost. Totally lame. The only thing I have to say is that if Willie Gay is on the opening day roster next year, I'm going to have to seriously reconsider my fandom. Just kidding, of course...but that guy is definitely one of the worst football players in the history of the league. Ok I'm done now.

On Monday, I bid Kauai a fond farewell and made my way back to Honolulu. I arrived in Honolulu around 8pm and my flight for Sydney departed the next morning at 8am. Instead of getting a hotel room, I decided to spend the night in the comfortable confines of the International terminal at the Honolulu Airport. I know it sounds incredibly fun, but it wasn't really. After wandering around for a couple hours, I found a nice little area near one of the baggage claim areas that was quiet and reasonably comfortable so I put my stuff down and made a little bed out of my towel and some t-shirts. Just as I was about to enter the REM cycle, some short little Asian security man came over and started going on about how I wasn't allowed to be there. So much for that. So I packed up my crap and made my way back upstairs where there were a decent lot of poor saps just like me. The flourescent lighting up there was harsh and the loud Hawaiian music blaring over the PA was more irritating than soothing, so I decided to put up shop on one of the concrete benches in the breezeway outside. It was so comfortable that I've decided to replace my mattress at home with a concrete block. Sarcasm is fun. So after another few sleepless hours and 20 or so crossword puzzles, it was time to check in. Woohoo! Got my bag checked in, headed for the gate and made a few business calls before departing. I put a call into Verizon to try to set up my international data plan, only to learn that they had just done away with the unlimited option two weeks ago. So that's horribly stupid and if I continued my current data usage while overseas, my monthly bill would be approximately $3000 a month. So to make a long story short, I have suspended my Verizon account indefinitely. I'm still figuring out the best way to communicate while I'm out of the country, so until I do I'm just relying on the internet and international phone cards. Guess I should have done some more research before I left. Damn you, procrastination!

Ok so I feel as though this might be getting boring so let me try to tell you cool stuff. The flight to Sydney was approximately 10 hours. It wasn't a full flight so I lucked out and got two seats to myself. That was pretty awesome and way better than my last flight to Australia when I was in the window seat and trapped by two sleeping row partners which then led to to 18 hours of kidney killing, no bathroom break agony. I went to the bathroom a grand total of 4 times on this flight so that was a big improvement. I also watched 3 movies (Unstoppable, Red, and You Again...listed in order of best to worst) and ate 2 granola bars. And then before I knew it, we were in Australia. Made it through customs, got my bag, hopped on a bus, transferred to a train, and then walked about a mile to my hostel. It's called Kangaroo Backpack (I think) and it's located in an area called Surry Hills, which is a cool little neighborhood with lots of pubs and cafes and some of the best restaurants in town. Very cool vibe. After I checked in and got a shower, I got a doner kebab for dinner (for old time's sake), and went to a corner pub for a pint of Victoria Bitter and a conversation with a rather creepy English bartender. At that point I thought I might die of exhaustion so I went back to the hostel and passed out til about 8 the next morning. Jetlag be damned!

Thursday I walked around and went to Chinatown, the Paddy Markets, and Darling Harbour. I turned down a random corner and came across Scruffy Murphy's, which was one of my favorite haunts back in the day for their Wednesday night Drag Queen Karaoke night. Oh memories. Thursday night consisted of a pasta dinner and a showing of Superbad with a variety of other hostel guests. Lots of British folks here as well as a decent amount of Americans. In my room there are two Brits, two Irish and two Yanks (as the locals call us). A varitable United Nations. On Friday I made my much anticipated return to Coogee Beach to make a wonderful trip down memory lane. It's so strange to be in a place that you used to know so well and to feel you're seeing it again for the first time. I swam the bay, caught some rays, checked out the old homefront, visited the women's bath, and reconstructed the most legendary night of my life. A very solid day. As I was waiting for my bus back to Surry Hills, I noticed a commotion behind me and soon learned that a shark had been spotted and everyone had been evacuated from the water. I watched for awhile but didn't see any fins surfacing. Oh well, hopefully no one got eaten. Here are a few choice scenes from my time so far:

This bar is open 24 hours a day and has Drag Queen Karaoke every Wednesday night. So basically, its the greatest place on earth. Shane and Kristi, this one's for you!

Coogee Beach Life Saving Club. I used to meet my 75 year old swimming partner guys right by that pool and then we would swim across the bay and back. I didn't recognize any faces this time around so hopefully they were just taking the day off and not dead.

Coogee Beach in all its glory. Just as wonderful as I remember.

The Beach Palace Hotel, where the most ridiculous night of my life began...

The corner where I made friends with a man in a wheelchair who would reach inside that window and get free drinks.

Comfy stretch of beach to take a little nap...

Coogee Sands Apartments. Another nice place to take a little nap.

So well behaved this time around....

202 Oberon! The old homefront. Looks exactly the same.

My old bedroom on the right. One time a crazy person threw a brick through the window on the left. Good times.

The Women's Baths on the left, open to ladies and kids under the age of 13. Also home to lots and lots of topless sunbathing.

This 1984 Volvo was on sale for $400. I really wanted to buy it but that makes no sense.

Australia in a nutshell.

I was going to try to hit up the Rocks Market and the quintessential Sydney sights (Opera House, Harbor Bridge, etc.) today but it's windy and rainy right now so not sure how well that's going to work out. I'll definitely be in Sydney til Wednesday, but the plan after that is rather wide open. Hoping to make it down to Melbourne and perhaps over into Adelaide before making the trek to Indonesia to start the Asian portion of the trip. Adventuring, like pimpin, ain't easy!

A few random events/observations/deep thoughts to close it out:

* For some reason, I am a magnet for middle aged men. No matter where I go or what I'm doing, that demographic seems to really enjoy talking to me. For example, I was in the local grocery store a couple days ago perusing the bread selection and trying to find something under $4 a loaf when a tall lanky fellow approached. He was wearing a cowboy type hat and had one of the most disgusting set of chompers I've ever seen in my entire life. He had all his teeth but there was this yellow grayish film that made it extremely difficult to differentiate where one snaggle tooth ended and the other began. Can you picture it? If so, you're probably throwing up in your mouth a little bit like I did. Anyways, he says something like "tough decision, yeah?" And I say laugh politely and say, "way too many options these days." I thought I had played it reasonably well and could have picked my bread and escaped, but unfortunately I failed to take into account the fact that my accent is a dead giveaway that I'm not from around here. "American, are you?" says Snaggle Tooth. "Guilty as charged," says I. So we exchange plesantries and I tell him that I'm traveling for awhile, trying to be as vague as humanly possible. He's kind of hard to shake so we end up chatting for about 5 minutes or so, during which time I learn several interesting tidbits about this man. First of all, he's hammered and breathing some serious fire. Secondly, he's from New Zealand but has been living in Sydney for the last 28 years. And last, but certainly not least, he is the self-proclaimed "greatest satirical playwright of all time." Well, I'll be! Had I known I was talking to such a legendary figure I might have been a bit more forthcoming. So I press for some details and ask him to name some of the plays he's penned. "Oh no no no, we're not going there," he says. "Just remember my name...Victor Sheehan. That's V-I-C-T-O-R for Victor. S-H-E-E-H-A-N for Sheehan." I nod and smile, tell him that I'll have to look into his work, blindly grab a loaf of bread and then start to make a hasty retreat towards the dairy aisle. "Oh, you're trying to get away from me now, right?" he stammers. "Lots of other shopping to do, Victor. Great to meet you." So I head for the hills and don't look back until I'm at the checkout line and realize that the bread I grabbed costs $5.80. Thanks for nothing, Vic.

* After my first day here, I took a nice hot shower and was feeling quite good about my current state of affairs. Then I turned the water off and attempted to slide open the shower door and towel off. Only issue was that the door wouldn't budge. I thought maybe it was because I was soaking wet and had a lousy grip so I gave it another go. I pulled from the top. Then I pulled from the bottom. Then I more or less broke off the handle trying to open this stupid thing. Around this time I thought about how ridiculous it would be if I were unable to escape this predicament. Stupid new American girl locked herself in the shower and had to be rescued in the nude on her first effin day. The type of situation that's hilarious if it isn't you, basically. So I had almost thrown in the towel and was more or less ready to start sending out smoke signals, when I leaned against the door an it magically swung open. It was an Australian miracle! Turns out it wasn't a sliding door after all. My bad.

* Hostel culture is quite interesting, especially as a solo traveler. There is always an international feel to it, which is fantastic and allows you to interact with people from all over the world on a daily basis. On the flip, there are also a lot of pre-established cliques that exist. The hostel staff are generally people who have been living/working there for an extended period of time and, as such, are a pretty tight knit group. Then there are those who are traveling in groups and tend to just hang with each other. So I've found that it's best to scope out the scene for a day or two, get the general vibe of the different groups and then proceed accordingly. It's always nice to come across other single adventurerers as well so you can form a two-man attack of sorts. Alcohol also always helps in these kinds of situations. People are friendly when they're tipsy. It's science. Actually I think a great book could be written about the ever changing dynamics inside a hostel. Someone remind me of this idea later when I'm penniless and unemployed and have writer's block.

* Australians have a good attitude when it comes to the work/life balance. I'll have to look into how much vacation time they get and all of that (only thing I do know is that minimum wage here is $13.75/hr...not too shabby!), but from what I can tell they work to live, not the other way around. Over lunch, the streets are swarmed with business professionals on their lunch breaks, throwing back a few beers and catching up with their mates for a couple hours. On the weekends, everyone seems to be out and about making the absolute most of their time. I was chatting with a guy from Canberra last night and he was telling me that he wants to start his own business and is considering setting up shop in a different country. I asked him if he would ever consider America. "Absolutely not. You guys only get 10 days of holiday a year. I dont' know how you even function living like that." Then I reminded him that I'm temporarily retired and therefore a genius.

Ok well if you've managed to make it through this post, then cheers to you! Your loyalty and dedication will be rewarded with a big hug when I return home.

Peace, love, and waltzing matildas,
Christy/Christine/Tina

P.S. A big congratulations to two of my nearest and dearest pals, Mary and Marie as they both delivered super cute baby girls this week. So happy for you idiots and can't wait to meet the little nuggets and teach them how to do cool stuff like how to throw a boomerang.

oh hello again

2011-02-05T19:40:00.001-05:00

Apologies for the delay in this latest post, but I've been really busy living the life of a nomadic idiot. It's very time consuming for reasons I'm still attempting to figure out. Anyways, a few things have happened since my last little update. Mainly I flew from Maui to Kauai and have been cruising this beauteous little island for the past few days. I'm staying with a super chill surfer dude named Kevin who is a good buddy of my good buddy Adam. Mutual friends are fun! He's been a ridiculously nice host and has shown me some of the best surf spots on the island. He's also imparted a portion of his vast knowledge of Hawaiian history and culture, which has been an added bonus. The first couple of days here, I scoped out the beaches, drank some kava, and met some of Kevin's pals (who are also super chill and extremely accommodating).

On Thursday I decided to rent a car to give everyone a rest from entertaining me. Only snag in that plan was that all the rental car places are at the airport, which is about 11 miles from Kevin's jungle bungalow. But it's not like I have any schedule or anything, so I decided to hoof it. Hitchhiking in Hawaii is very common and safe (or so I'm told) so I figured I would just walk til I got bored and then stick my thumb out in the breeze and see what happened. Well around the point of boredom, a car rolled by and quickly pulled over. I ran over to see if I could get a lift for the final 6 miles only to see that the person in the car was Nikki, Kevin's next door neighbor. She told me to forget about renting a car and just hang with her and her buds for the rest of the day. So we went to the beach for the afternoon, watched a nice little sunset then cruised home for a fantastic vegetarian dinner and a few hands of cards. There was also some Jameson hanging out in the general vicinity. There's a sickness making its way around the island that's apparently caused by the volcanic ash particles in the air, so Jameson was used strictly for medicinal purposes. I think.

Ok so that brings us to yesterday, in which I finally got that ever elusive rental car. A sick ass navy blue Hyundai Elantra. Boy oh boy, does that thing haul! Not really, but it did get me where I wanted to go: Waimea Canyon. It's a beautiful area with hundreds of miles of trails and ridiculous views and secluded waterfalls and awesome things of that nature. I drove to a few overlooks that were filled with lots of annoying tourists and then went on a 5-mile hike in which I encountered approximately 3 other people. It was pretty rad.

Here's the last week of my life in pictorial form:

I debated putting this one up, but I'm pretty sure you can't make out any super nasty bits unless you have a magnifying glass (and if actually take the measure to do that, then you should definitely get out more). So this is just a mild little taste of some of the sights of the infamous Sunday beach party at the "Little Beach" in Maui. Lots of old leather skinned oldheads who let their freak flags fly with wild abandon. I didn't really want to take pictures because I don't necessarily want to relive some of the things I saw, but this meeting of old man butts was kinda funny. Sorry if this picture burned your retinas.

Sunset on the Little Beach. I think there was a crazy naked hippie banging the bongos right next to me, but my camera lens wasn't wide enough to capture that. Sorry!

On the Northern coast of Kauai, there's a 17 mile stretch of land called the Na Pali Coast that is closed to cars. I rode a bike to the end of the road, hiked up a couple miles of trails and saw cool stuff like this.

The Na Pali Coast

The Salt Ponds. During the summer months, this pond dries out and salt is harvested and sold all around the island.

Waimea Canyon overlook. Again, this picture doesn't do the massiveness any justice. This area is called "the Grand Canyon of the Pacific"....and with good reason.

Fun fact: Kauai is home to thousands of wild chickens and roosters. There are no natural predators in Hawaii so these things thrive. They're also loud and annoying and fearless. In addition, these roosters are stupid because they don't even wait until sunrise to start crowing. Idiots.

Another beautiful view from a Waimea Canyon overlook. I met a couple from Wisconsin while I was up here. I figured they were Packers fans so I tried to engage them in some friendly trash talking only to find out that they could care less about football and came to Hawaii to escape the hype. Lame!

This is just a lone tree hanging out on the edge of a massive cliff that sits a few hundred feet above the base of the canyon. I spotted this on a 5 mile hike on the Canyon Trail (creative name).

No McDonald's for miles, but still saw some arches. Hahahahaha, I'm hilarious!

Oh hey, a waterfall!

I'm so excited!

Better put on my hippie hat and rock out!

If you walk a little bit further down the stream from the first waterfall, you end up here, at the top of another waterfall that plunges forever over that edge there. A little bit scary. A lot bit awesome.

My new happy place.

So that wraps up another chapter of this titilating page turner. I know these pictures don't really represent this aspect, but I swear that I've actually been hanging out with other people besides myself. I just feel like a tool asking new buds to take touristy pictures with me right of the bat. But maybe I'll grow a set and get some candid shots later today. Stay tuned...

Word on the street is that it's supposed to rain tomorrow and Monday...which works out kind of perfectly for me since tomorrow will be solely devoted to indoor activities a.k.a. going to a local watering hole and watching dem Stillers vie for some more hardware to add to the trophy case. No one around here really seems to care much about the game, but I'm hoping to convince some people to jump on the bandwagon of the greatest sports franchise in all the land. Or I'll just have some beers, wave my Terrible Towel and high five strangers like I did last game. Either way, it should be a fun day.

On a final note, this may or may not be the last post I write in the good old U.S. of A. as I am scheduled to set sail for the Land Down Under on Tuesday morning. So if this does, in fact, turn out to be my last correspondence on native soil....I love you America, you big dumb idiot!

Peace, love and Lombardi trophies!

Tina vs. The Volcano

2011-01-30T16:59:00.000-05:00

Greetings, party people!

I'm in Maui and it's a pretty ok place to be. Friday I hopped on a bus and went to the town of Paia, which is a little hippie town right on the water. If I lived in Hawaii, I'd want to live in a place like this. Super chill people, funky little stores, and the ocean in your backyard. I dig it.

That house over there is where I'll retire one day.

Life's a beach

This is what happens when you have a shit ton of hair and you're on a beach that's incredibly windy.

Friday night there was a party at the hostel with free beer, so that was a nice way to end the day. I met a chick from Pittsburgh that's staying in the hostel so that was cool. She's tall and loves Shadyside. I also chatted with a couple Brits who had spent the past year working at a hotel in Hilton Head, a 19 year old Swedish girl who works as an au pair in Portland, and a German guy who's in med school in San Francisco. So I managed to make some friends and dominate the beer pong table. All in all, a stellar evening. Oh also of note, I was asked at least 4 or 5 times if I was Danish. I've never been asked that before in my life, but as one girl explained to me I have "blonde hair and look sporty." So I guess I'll have to ask my mom if she knows anyone from Copenhagen :)

Fast forward to Saturday, which turned out to be my most favorite day so far. Departed the hostel at 8:30 with about 25 other people and made the 2 hour drive to Haleakala National Park. Its a dormant volcano that rises 10,000 feet in elevation. Our day consisted of a 12 mile hike around craters, through fields of lava rock and up mountainsides. The change in landscapes and climate and scenery was truly spectacular. I took a bunch of pictures, but unfortunately they don't even begin to represent the sheer magnitude of this place. It's absolutely massive and makes you feel like a tiny speck in relation. It was a day of wonder and awe and quiet reflection and all the other cliche things you could possibly think of. Here are a few highlights:

View from the visitor's center. It was about 40 degrees when we got there. I had to wear a coat and everything. How lame!

Nerd Alert #1. Taken by Vikas, a short little man from Houston.

Barren landscape. Kind of like walking on the moon (or so I would imagine)

Nerd Alert # 2. Taken by a super sweet chick from Pittsburgh with a charming personality and smashing good looks.

Again, I don't know if these pictures capture the massiveness, but this is a good try.

Nerd Alert # 3. Taken by Johan, a shy German guy with limited English skills.

Walking amongst the clouds. That girl on the left was from Spain. She was wearing untied shoes and a leather jacket and carried a huge purse the whole time. I was walking behind her on some of the more strenuous parts of the hike and thought for sure she was going to take a tumble down the side of the mountain. Luckily she prevailed. Spainards are bad ass.

Above the cloud line. We had to zig zag up some seriously narrow paths to make it back to the top. I had to concentrate on my feet a lot to ensure that I didn't die, but when I reminded myself to look up and check out the scenery I was rewarded quite hansomely with scenes like this one.

Catching the sunset from 10,000 feet.

The sun dropping below the clouds. Pretty incredible sight and one I urge everyone to experience.

So basically, yesterday was off the charts for me. It was physically exhausting but worth every ounce of energy expended. The change in climates and landscapes and scenery was absolutely amazing. And the history of the volcano is one that demands respect and reverance. I give it two very enthusiastic thumbs up.

Today I'm hoping to hit up a little beach party with the rest of the crew here at the hostel. Its my last full day in Maui so hoping to make the most of it. I depart for Kauai tomorrow for more adventure and revelry. Until we meet again, I leave you with another sunset scene:

For those of you enduring the middle of winter, I salute you!

history, culture and live bullfrogs

2011-01-28T15:26:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday I attempted to do things and learn stuff.

First order of business was catching a local bus out to Pearl Harbor to visit the various memorials commemorating that infamous time in America's history. Entrance is free and the tour I took consisted of a 30 minute film and then a boat ride out to the USS Arizona Memorial. The sunken remains of that ship are still visible from the deck of the memorial and much to my astonishment, it's still leaking oil into the water some 70 years later. "The tears of the Arizona." Blew my mind. All in all it was a very worthwhile trip. I gained knowledge about that fateful day and was left with an overwhelming sense of patrioticism and pride that I will carry with me on the rest of my journey.

One of the three anchors of the USS Arizona. This thing weighs 10 tons. That's 20,000 pounds for those of you who aren't into the mental math thing (you know who you are).

The whole harbor

The USS Arizona memorial. The remains of the ship sit right underneath that memorial, with the bodies of the crew still entombed.

Tears of the Arizona

Names of all the crew members of the Arizona who died during the attack

After I was done scoping out Pearl Harbor, I hopped on a bus in search of something a little less heavy and decided to make a little pit stop in the Chinatown district of downtown Honolulu. Turned out to be one of the better decisions I've made in awhile. As you may or may not know, one of my favorite hobbies is wandering around aimlessly in new places, people watching, and basically being kind of a weirdo. So I got to do that for hours on end. Score! The whole experience was an assault on the senses. The smell of fresh fish and not so fresh durian (still couldn't bring myself to try it), the sight of colorful produce and other unidentifiable goods (if anyone knows what gao is made of, please let me know), the sound of old ladies haggling with shop owners in languages I'll never know, and the taste of some delicious beef pho from a sketchy looking street stand (if there's anything I've learned from the Travel Channel it's that the best and most authentic cuisine comes from the street vendors with the longest lines. Thanks, Bourdain). Some highlights:

My new favorite market

I think these are roasted ducks. Or some other fowl like creatures. Who's to say really? For some reason, this made me think of the scene in A Christmas Story when they go to the Chinese restaurant for Christmas dinner.

Absolutely no idea what the hell these are.

"Hey girl, have you seen the deal on pig eyeballs over there?" Old people are so cute.

Live bullfrog - $6.99/lb. Tasty.

So Tuesday was a definite success. I kind of forget what I did on Wednesday but I'm pretty sure it consisted of laying on the beach, reading a Vanity Fair article about Beiber Fever, and eating frozen yogurt for lunch. Oh and I also had a fantastic webchat with three of my dearest pals back in the Burgh. We talked, we laughed, we played charades, Weenie mooned me a bunch of times, Kel modeled her new nightgown?muumuu, and Linds explained the details of her upcoming tear duct surgery that will hopefully help her to stop being so sensitive and crying all the time :) Technology is wild! Miss you idiots!

Yesterday was a travel day as I departed Oahu and made the quick 30 min flight to Maui. The views from the plane were amazing so if you ever make this trip, make sure you do it during the day so you can see all the surrounding landscapes. After I landed in Maui, I waited around for an hour to hop on a bus to my hostel. I booked this place because it offers sweet free tours, but I think the trade off is that its located in a dead part of the island. I walked around yesterday and found the main street of town, which isn't much to write home about, but oh well. Going to take a bus to some little hippie beach town called Paia today. Tomorrow is an all-day 12 mile hike up an active volcano so I'm super pumped for that. Sunday I'm going to try to catch a whale watching tour and then hit up a beach bbq hosted by the hostel at a clothing optional beach nearby. I don't think the world is quite ready for me in that sense yet, but I've been wrong before....

Stairway to Sevenburgh

2011-01-25T01:44:00.000-05:00

It appears as though my planning skills leave a lot to be desired, as the Black and Gold are scheduled to compete for the Lombardi trophy while I'm thousands of miles away. Dumb. Had I known Big Play Willie Gay was finally going to do something worthwhile and propel my beloved Men of Steel to the Super Bowl, I probably would have pushed my departure date back a few weeks. In fact, I have already been toying with the notion of making an unplanned pit stop back in the Burgh to take in the game amongst a bunch of Iron City swilling yinzers. But I just so happen to be the most indecisive bastard on the planet so I'll most likely just go back and forth a million times and never really commit to anything. That being said, I'll most likely be watching the action from a quaint beach bar in Kauai. There are worse things, I suppose. I will have my Terrible Towel in hand for the duration, as I did during yesterday's game. I went to a bar in town called The Shack. I got there around 9:30am to ensure I got a seat at the bar before the games began. No worries on that front as I was the second person to show up. The first was a Navy officer/Packers fan who was still drunk from the night before. So he, naturally, was my new best friend. After his Packers won, it was time for the main event. Right before kickoff, I was joined at the bar by Tim, an Army man and avid Steeler fan. We talked shop and spent the next 3 hours high-fiving, heckling Jets fans (who had all disappeared by halftime), and basking in championship glory. Here's a picture of me, Timmy, and Timmy's super excited buddy whose name escapes me right now:

Hahahaha, buddy's face kills me. He wasn't nearly as miserable in real life.

The bartender at The Shack was clad in a pretty nice Bradshaw jersey which I thought was cool...until he started cheering for Jets. Tim was outraged and questioned his loyalty. Turns out his dad was from Pittsburgh and had gotten him the jersey, but he doesn't care about the Steelers. Blasphemy, we told him. He couldn't argue and as penance for his tomfoolery, agreed to give me the jersey if I stuck around til his shift was over at 7. So you bet your sweet ass I did just that. Tim and his buddy couldn't hang so they left to go clubbing or something (but not before paying my tab which was incredibly awesome considering Miller Lite drafts were $4 and I had enjoyed more than a few). I was slightly drunk on beer and severely drunk on happiness by the time 7 rolled around so as soon as barkeep handed me the jersey, I put it on and took to the streets. Lots of random strangers congratulated me. I high fived all of them. Then I realized I had no idea where I was....but by some wild stroke of luck, I had wandered into the Rodeo Drive-like section of Waikiki. Gucci to my left, Prada to my right, and me smack dab in the middle of it all with my homeless person hat and oversized Terry Bradshaw jersey. It was awesome.

I told the Japanese lady who took this picture that if it ain't steel, it ain't real. Too bad she didn't speak English.

So Championship Sunday was a definite success. I met lots of fun people with Pittsburgh ties including a nice couple from Penn Hills and a crazy idiot from Greensburg who bought me 2 shots and a beer within 5 minutes of meeting me. So suffice to say, Steeler Nation is alive and kickin over here. As if you expected anything less.

Ok that's about all I got for now. Planning on checking out Pearl Harbor tomorrow and perhaps making a stop in Chinatown to scope the scene there. Or I might just lay on the beach all day. It's anyone's guess at this point...

Life doesn't suck

2011-01-23T01:04:00.002-05:00

My body is still adjusting to the time difference a bit and because of that I've been falling asleep around 10 and getting up at the ass crack of dawn. Earlier than that actually. So maybe the butthole of early morn? Haha, I'm sure phrase will catch on. Ok so anyways, today I got up at 5 a.m. and decided to hike to the top of Diamond Head. What's Diamond Head, you ask? I could tell you, but the world wide web will probably do a much better job if it: http://www.hawaiistateparks.org/parks/oahu/index.cfm?park_id=15 . So I walked about 2 miles to the actual park, then started the climb up to the top in hopes of catching the sunrise. Now, before I continue let me share a fact that I've recently learned - 1 out of every 5 residents of Hawaii is of Japanese descent. And from what I could gather, all of those folks were at Diamond Head this morning. It was rather remarkable actually. Some surface level observations: elderly Japanese people appear to be in far better shape than the American demographic. Dozens of 70+ year olds were out on the trail, happy as could be, not out of breath at all. Good stuff. Also, the sheer volume of pictures taken was mind boggling. Entrance sign...click. Bathrooms...click. Handrail...click. Garbage can...click. Need to pick your wedgie? Look over here and smile while you're doing it...click. Not sure what the photo albums end up looking like but they've certainly got a lot of options to choose from. Ok, moving on. I did indeed make it up to the top by the time the sun showed up to say hello. It was pretty sweet, but there were far too many people around for my tastes. I prefer those kinds of moments to be a little bit more tranquil and a little less tourist trappy. But it was a beautiful sight and one I'm glad I made the effort to see. Here are a few pictures to help you visualize:

In case you forgot where I was, here's a sign.

That's a tunnel that you have to walk through to get to the entrace of the trail. Spooky.

Pretty

Haha, what a loser!

View from the top

I hope you can make out what's going on in this picture. The couple standing next to me had these two stuffed animals, (one of Tweety Bird, theother I'm not sure) in a cage like package. They would stand in front of various backgrounds, pose the stuffed animals accordingly, flash the peace sign and take a billion pictures. I think I might start learning Japanese because I would love to know the significance of things like this.

Greener pastures

Solo shots are so hot right now.

Realized I had yet to bust out my patented pose. This one's for you, Dad!

On my walk back to town, I passed by the campus of a local community college and, as luck would have it, they were hosting a farmer's market. So I gradually made my way through all the tents of fresh fruit, honey, hibiscus flowers, smoked fish, and other various goodies. I sampled some pineapple, mango, smoked ahi, and roasted macadamia nuts before deciding upon a breakfast of shrimp and vegetable summer rolls and a mango/ginger/mint iced tea. Quite possibly the best iced tea I've ever had. If I could figure out the recipe and add some vodka, it would be my new favorite cocktail. But I'm not really supposed to drink liquor so there goes that dream...

Farmer's Markets are fun!

Durian fruit. It's illegal to ship in some countries because it smells like crap. Apparently it tastes good but I couldn't quite get past the distinct rotting garbage aroma. Maybe next time.

Rest of the day consisted of snorkeling, lounging and then surfing with Forrest the long boarder. We tested the waves for a couple hours in which time I remember thinking three things: 1. surfing is fun. 2. I suck at surfing. 3. I'm definitely not wearing enough sunscreen right now. All three things ended up being true. Good thing sleeping with a sunburn is so enjoyable!

Not much else to report beyond that. Oh but I did buy a Longboard Island Lager on my walk back home from the beach and was reminded of a suggestion that my seat partner on the flight from Minnesota to Seattle made. Her name was Judy. She, like my old lady beach friend, was also from Wisconsin. She didn't offer me any cheese but she did give me a pretty solid idea. She said I should keep a running tally of all the beers I try as I travel along. Sure thing, Jud! Here's the list so far:
-Pike Brewing Company Red Ale at the Sea-Tac airport. It was ok, a little too much bite for my super sophisticated palate.
-Alaskan Brewing Company Amber on the aforementioned flight. Quite tasty and served in a glass bottle which seemed to violate some sort of TSA standard, but what do I know.
- Longboard Island Lager - my favorite of the bunch. And I can get a tall boy from the corner convenience store for under 3 bucks. Score!
- Big Wave Golden Ale - Surf (and two thumb)'s up.

Hang ten.

So that just about wraps things up. I'll be heading to a bar in town today at 10am to start my Championship Sunday. Hopefully I'll meet some transplanted yinzers and Hawaiian Steelheads. Greatly looking forward to it.

Until next time, party on and Go Steelers!

P.S. I'm at a Starbucks right now and some guy sitting in the patio seating area outside just stood up, whipped out his junk and peed into the bushes in plain sight of all the coffee sipping patrons. Quite a powerful stream. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Ok, the end.

Aloha!

2011-01-20T22:25:00.001-05:00

And so it begins...

After an emotionally draining day of travel filled with bittersweet goodbyes, pervasive anxiety and nervous anticipation, I finally reached my first pit stop in Hawaii. The journey from the comfy confines of my parent's house to the warm breezes of Honolulu took roughly 18 hours. In that time, I managed to go on a wild emotional rollercoaster filled with laughter, tears and everything in between. Going from an environment of overwhelming love and support to one filled with a seemingly endless array of unknowns is a shock to the system, but an experience that I'm sure will go along way in the character building department. I won't bore you with the details, but the moral of the story is that you don't know what you've got til it's gone. I've always felt blessed to have such a strong network of friends and family, but never more so than yesterday when I finally realized that I won't be able to see the aforementioned for quite some time. So I don't know whether to thank everyone for being so great...or flick you off for making the initial adjustment so damn difficult! Ah well, if it were easy then it probably wouldn't be worth it anyways. So here's a virtual fist pound to all of yinz!

So enough words and thoughts and blah blah blah...let's see some freakin pictures already!

After weeks and weeks of dilly dallying, I finished packing at approximately 12:45am of departure day. As you can see, I saved the best item for last...

That's my first home away from home, the Polynesian Beach Club in Waikiki Beach. Current roommates: chicks from Vermont, northern Italy and Korea and a dude from Tampa who was pounding a Bud heavy when I first met him. I think we'll all get along just fine.

Panoramic action from Waikiki on morning numero uno. It was overcast but still a pretty wonderful place to wake up.

That's just me being a total toolbag.

And there's a crazy bird lady.

Hawaii's native son.

Flat Tina's first appearance! She looks pretty excited about stuff.

Sunset on Day 1. One thing you should know is that I love sunrises and sunsets so you might be seeing a lot of pictures like this. If you don't like it, I suggest you get over it.

Waimea Bay, site of the annual Quiksilver Big Wave Invitational. Elite surfers are invited to this event to surf ridiculously gigantic waves. The event only goes off if the waves are over 30 feet. Unfortunately they didn't reach that level, but still got to see some insane surfing and a good deal of wipeouts. If these waves had a name, it would most certainly be Gnarls Barkley. I don't really know what that means, but that's ok too.

Brave souls testing the pipeline.

Just another day at the office....

There's no way you can tell because my camera skills leave a lot to be desired, but that blue clad arm belongs to Mr. Kelly Slater. No big deal.

This picture is out of order and a stupid one to end on, but that's the door to my room. Festive, right?

Ok so that was fun. Before I sign off I'd just like to share a few things that happened today at the surf competition. The North Shore is over an hour's drive away from the hostel, so in order to make it there in time, me and 13 of my closest friends loaded into a passenger van at 6am. I sat amidst a Swiss family who had just celebrated the 7 month mark of an around the world journey that will total 13 months. Mom and Dad and their 7 year old son and 5 year old daughter. They had spent 4 months RVing in the Western half of the US, 2 months in Central America, and the past month in Hawaii. From here, they'll venture to New Zealand and the Pacific Islands before returning to Zurich in August. So that's one of the most bad ass things I've heard in awhile.

I met some other people today as well, including a 60ish woman from Wisconsin and a 30ish surfer from San Diego. I was sitting on the beach taking in the action when Wisconsin set up shop beside me. First she asked me if I was wearing sunscreen. I assured her that I was. Then we rapped about the potential for a Steelers vs Packers Super Bowl. That was followed by a little game of "Let's Make a Deal." The stakes: authentic Wisconsin cheddar cheese slices and Ritz crackers. The challenge: rub suntan lotion on the hard to reach places of her back. So after several nanoseconds of deliberation, the challenge was most definitely accepted! Whatever weirdness might have existed while I was massaging SPF 30 into a complete stranger's back was immediately forgotten when I took that first delicious bite of cheese. I guess cheddar really does make everything better!

San Diego surfer's name was Forrest and by the time the time our conversation ended, I had a phone number and an offer to use his longboard whenever I wanted. I know there's a lewd joke to be made here, but my grandma might read this so I digress. Being mature is difficult. Ok so anyways, moral of that story is that "Operation: Learn to Surf" might have just officially begun. More details to follow...

Well that's all I got for now. Two days in and I'm feeling quite good about things. Not really sure what tomorrow holds. Perhaps a hike up Diamond Head or maybe carving some tasty waves? Decisions, decisions.

Party on, party people.

awesome eve

2011-01-17T23:03:00.000-05:00

Word to the wise: don't be a procrastinator when you're going away on an extended sojourn to unknown lands. Proper preparation leads to much lower stress levels. I wouldn't really know, but that's what my dad tells me. I will be hitting the old dusty trail in about 7 hours so now is as good a time as any to start packing, I suppose. In the immortal words of Jessie Spano, "I'm so excited, I'm so excited...I'm so scared!"

Tomorrow's Itinerary:

Depart:	9:08 am from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Arrive:	10:45 am at Minneapolis - St Paul, Minnesota

Depart:	1:15 pm from Minneapolis - St Paul, Minnesota
Arrive:	2:55 pm at Seattle, Washington

Depart:	5:20 pm from Seattle, Washington
Arrive:	9:28 pm at Honolulu, Hawaii

So that shouldn't take too long or anything...

Oh hello there

2011-01-15T16:13:00.004-05:00

Greetings, cyberland.

I suppose I should use this initial post to give a little background on life as I know it. I was born in Pittsburgh, PA on a beautiful summer's eve in 1983. From that day forward, I've attempted to be totally awesome all the time. Results have varied.

Now that you know everything there is to know about me, let's focus on what the immediate future holds. I've recently decided to throw caution to the wind and set sail on a trip around the globe. Although I don’t have my itinerary down to the exact day, here is a rough outline of what the next six months potentially holds for me:

- Jan 18th to mid-February: Aloha means goodbye…island hopping in Hawaii

- Mid-February to early March: Putting a couple shrimp on the barbie and in the magical land of OZ.

- Early March to mid-April: Surfing in Bali, not chewing gum in Singapore, eating street vendor delicacies in Vietnam and trying to avoid making really obvious and childish jokes in Bangkok and Phuket.

- Mid-April to June 30th: Searching for a Greek god, eating pasta in Italia, exploring the Croatian coastline (Google image search it...you won't be sorry), practicing my runway walk in Prague, sampling beer in Belgium, riding bikes and perusing cafes in the Netherlands, trying to figure out what’s underneath those kilts in Scotland, kissing the Blarney Stone in Ireland, trying to fit my hair underneath a beret in France, and drinking sangria in Espana.

So there you have it, in the most stereotypical summary I could muster. Whether or not I stick to this plan is anybody's guess, but therein lies the appeal of such a trip. All I know at this point is that I'm hopping on a plane to Hawaii on Tuesday. The rest will be left in the capable hands of the travel gods...