Aaron's Randomocity

Things parents need to memorize

AaronTurpen — Fri, 24 Jan 2014 01:13:35 +0000

Here are some phrases every parent needs to memorize.

For moms:

“Don’t put that in your mouth!”

“What are you eating?!”

“Put that back!”

For dads:

“Don’t tell your mom about this.”

“Let me show you a little trick. Don’t tell your mom about this.”

“Don’t use that word in front of your mom.”

Bringing Home the Bacon

AaronTurpen — Thu, 27 Jun 2013 18:04:23 +0000

It sucks when you work so hard to bring home the bacon and end up with turkey jerky instead. Stupid PC economy.

Environment Universe

AaronTurpen — Wed, 22 May 2013 16:51:30 +0000

According to the Mayans, the universe was created on this day many millennea ago and people have been bitching about the environmental impacts ever since.

The Big Electron

AaronTurpen — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 04:35:50 +0000

Conferencing

AaronTurpen — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 22:22:12 +0000

Conferencing online is fun if they’ll let you do all the talking.

Farms

AaronTurpen — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 18:03:36 +0000

What Facebook really needs are more games with the word “farm” in the title.

Parental Rule #57

AaronTurpen — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 17:36:16 +0000

Parental Rule #57: the annoyance factor of the toy is directly proportional to the longevity of its batteries. The more annoying the toy is, the longer the damn batteries will last.

Demopublicans and Republicrats

AaronTurpen — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 17:59:58 +0000

When it comes to Democrats and Republicans, they may be on different sides of the aisle, but they’re both attending the same wedding and we ain’t the bride or the groom. We’re the flower petals spread on the floor to be walked on.

House Destruction

AaronTurpen — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 14:51:34 +0000

Now that we have toddlers, I’ve decided that we’ll have to live in this house for at least 18 years, then we’ll sell it to a contractor or DIY “fix it up” person and move. This seems easier than attempting to repair the damage two little destruction machines can accomplish.

CO2 Regulation

AaronTurpen — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 20:43:16 +0000

I just think that given the unilateral agreement on other types of emissions, such as NOx and PM, that those should be a little more of a priority. This CO2 fetish is like requiring everyone to buy scent trees because there’s a chance that those 700 monkeys writing Shakespeare might all fart at once.