(Future) Former Plus Size

I'm an addict.

2015-01-22T22:48:00.000-05:00

It's 2015 and I'm still fat.

I'm not just fat as in a few extra pounds and a flat tire waist. I am well past that point. I'm out of control and it's beyond physical now. My full on addiction to food is up there next to the drug addict needing their next fix. I want it, I need it and I will get it anyway I can. I'm losing hope for myself and am really in no position to let that happen.

I'm a mother of a beautiful little girl that needs her mom. I need to be a positive influence in her life. Do I teach her that fat is okay? We need to be proud in our own skin. But at my weight now, I am not healthy. I want to teach her the importance of taking care of herself.

I need to detox. But how do you detox from food when you need it to survive?

My Entrepreneurial Epiphany at 29.

2014-10-11T11:12:00.001-04:00

At 29, I've done some thinking back on my twenties and I have to say this decade has been pretty good to me. I've done so much growing up despite the fact that I've never had any idea what I wanted to be "when I grow up". It was always my goal to have it figured out by 30.

College was not in my future at my high school graduation. Most of my friends went to universities and I went from part-time to full time hours at the local coffee shop. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to go to college. The money wasn't there. And I certainly wasn't a scholar. Eventually I moved on to waitressing for the better half of my twenties spending my tips almost immediately after my shift was over. Sure, I had responsibilities. My father and I had a rocky relationship and I moved in and out of their house a few times. I finally moved out for good and rented a room at the boarding house down the street where I lived above a bar among the crackheads and other misguided youth. I even remember googling "sex offenders" and seeing the guy down the hall come up in my search which always freaked me out. But I was a freshly minted 21-year-old and I lived above the most popular bar in town! Oh those years were fun.

Most of my late teens and early twenties, I applied to several colleges and was even accepted to one that I really wanted to go to but couldn't afford. With every school, I wanted to persue a different degree. Next, I completed my first year in Community college for Business Administration but then lost my financial aid. I even took a CNA course as a last ditch effort and quit before the exam.

To this day, I'm still impressed by those who know what they want to be. Those who knew as a child that someday they'd be a teacher. To have even a clue that you're on the "right path".

Present day, the only thing I'm sure of is that I'm a mom to an almost two year old. I am lucky enough to work from home as an administrative assistant and persue one thing I've always been passionate about- selling on eBay! I've always had a knack for finding "treasures" at thrift stores and flipping them for good money. I've even taken this time to branch out and sell with Amazon which is a whole different beast.

It wasn't until now that I've realized that I don't fit into any one career like a little round peg. I hated the office setting I worked in when I was pregnant. I love when I see the traffic reports on the morning news and know I don't have to leave the house for a commute like I used to. I get to raise my daughter instead of dropping her off to a daycare that I most likely couldn't afford. And I still have the opportunity to contribute and earn my own money from my paycheck and other income streams.

I guess what this all means is that I have an entrepreneurial spirit. I always have but just wasn't in tune with that feeling. Perhaps this is something that schools should teach and nuture. Why not? There are Entrepreneur classes at those colleges I couldn't afford. I feel so fortunate that all of my past experiences have brought me here and I'm not over my head in student loans like so many of my friends. This realization is another sign of my personal growth and to be honest, I couldn't be happier.

My new found love- the Little Free Library.

2014-09-13T15:39:00.001-04:00

Earlier this week I was exploring the area around my home, taking all the back roads I hadn't been down as my daughter started dozing off for her afternoon nap. I passed by this street corner with the cutest little box that read "take a book, leave a book or both!". It almost looked like an oversized birdhouse. I kept going down the road debating to turn around and check it out. I finally did and I couldn't be more pleased!

As I approached the roadside box I noticed that it said "Little Free Library". How amazing is that? I went up and found a book I'd been looking for - "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed (which I have since finished but that's for another post!). I felt strange taking a book and not leaving one so I was sure to return with a couple more the next day. I googled the Little Free Library and to my delight I found that they have these free libraries in neighborhoods worldwide! The map has several nearby so I made it a point to visit a few this week. They are all built and maintained by locals, usually the property owners, and have books for all different ages.

I love kindness in this form- what an amazing little treasure to be found. I highly suggest you check out littlefreelibrary.org and visit any that may be local to you!

Yet another weight loss epiphany.

2014-08-28T21:11:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow is as good as any day to start my path towards a healthier life.

I'm 29 and going to be 30 in 6 months. I need to go into my 30s as a much healthier person. Its time to really buckle down and figure out how to "win" this battle.

Recently a friend and I were discussing how he needs to quit smoking and how difficult it is for him. Some people smoke, some people drink- we all have our vices. I am addicted to food. That's crazy, right? It sure sounds like it since we all need food to live. I need it to live and I need it for emotional support, for fun, for so many reasons that are unneccessary. I acknowledge that but that doesn't stop me from going to the bakery. Just like my friend who quit smoking for 3 months but is now lighting one up twice daily.

I spoke with a Dietician today who served partly as a friend and also as a shrink. i said things outloud to her that I hadn't said before but were so true. I need be an adult about this and start living a healthy lifestyle. I need to start small but at least it's something. My goal is to lose 100 lbs- It's going to be a long road. Feel free to follow me down this path.

Stay at Home Mom? Nope, I'm a Work from Home mom!

2014-01-24T22:45:00.000-05:00

2013 was the fastest year of my life. It was also the most amazing.

On the second day of 2013, I gave birth (albeit 3 weeks early!) to the most beautiful little baby girl. At the time, I didn't know what the future was other than that I was now a mom to this precious little person. I no longer had a job. How were we going to do this on one income? I had TDI through my state and an additional plan through Aflac but that would all end in 6 weeks. Then what?

Then came the best thing that could have happened at that point in time.

From day one when my daughter was born, I researched every single option I could to find a stay at home job. The job I had at the time made me completely miserable and there was no future (but that's for a whole other blog post - or not). My entire check would go straight to the daycare, so what would be the point of going back?

What I found in my research was every gimmick on the web. It was then that I gained a new respect for those Pampered Chef and Avon stickers that you see on the back of mini-vans. Just a mom doing what she can to support her children (and possibly have fun doing it!). I knew selling wasn't for me. Those pyramid and MLM marketing schemes aren't my cup of tea - though they must work because they're still around! Medical transcription? No thank you. A call center position setup from home? Good luck with trying to hear me with a screaming child in the background.

What was I going to do? I spent 6 weeks with this sweet little baby that I could imagine leaving with anyone else. I have waitressing experience, that's quick cash. I thought for sure that I'd be working night shifts eternally. Trading off the baby when he comes home from work in the afternoon. I had a couple of waitressing interviews lined up, my Dunkin Donuts application just ready to be dropped off.

I'd been going through a hiring process for a few weeks in the meantime with a company that was hiring for Virtual Assistants. I met a few other moms in a forum that worked for the company and swore it was the best job for our situation. So I had a lot of hope but not much faith in it panning out in my favor. At the time, it was "the dream" but I knew I had to be realistic and find a "real job".

It was then that I was hired. I now had the opportunity to work from home. No daycare
No working the nights away wondering if she started doing something new that I'd miss. It was an amazing opportunity to make more money than I was earning working 40 hours (I think most weeks I work around 15 hours total). From my couch, in my pajamas. With my daughter right here with me. We have the freedom to enjoy our days together. If we want to go out shopping for a couple of hours, we can. Hang at home today? Sure thing. A-mazing.

Here we are, nearly a year later since I started with this job. I'm a Virtual Assistant (google it) and I couldn't be happier! I'm still so smitten with the fact that we can earn two incomes and I can raise our daughter from home. It makes me so proud to live in a time where this is possible because I know that my parents both worked full-time (if not, more) to make ends meet and this wasn't an option then. What an incredible opportunity and I feel so blessed.

Time to change.

2013-11-05T21:38:00.002-05:00

I don't even know the person in those photos anymore. How did I become this LARGE? Actually - Extra, extra large. And well on my way to adding another "extra" if I don't stop now. This is completely out of control. The weaker part of me says I don't know what to do but that's not true. I know what I need to do. I need to STOP letting the food control me. The hunger pangs that tell me I need to have whatever I want, when I want it need to stop. I can't give in anymore.

At this point in my life, I have an amazing man that loves me and a beautiful baby girl who needs me. She's almost walking (yes it's true, I've been away from this blog for far too long, again.) and I need to be able to catch up with her. I need to be able to play with her without getting winded. I need to be a role model to her. And most importantly, I need to be here in the physical world for a very long time for her. This all leads to the fact that I need to start a diet now. Not next week, but tomorrow. I wish I had someone to shop and cook for me. Someone to keep my ass out of those drive-thrus and my hands out of the potato chip bags.

Winter is well on it's way and so are the holidays. Many words come to mind; hibernation, baking, sweatpants, hoodies, etc. Every excuse in the book to be lazy. Nothing that's even remotely motivating. My beautiful little girl needs to be my motivation. Life should be my motivation. I need to do this for her. And selfishly, I do need to do this for myself.

I'm so disgusted with the way my body looks. I can't blame having a baby on it, I've been big for years. I'm going to figure out a budget worthy "ideal protein" type diet to stick to. Here's to a new body - I hope.

Las Vegas bound.

2012-04-14T13:42:00.000-04:00

This time tomorrow I will be on a 3 hour layover in Milwaukee, half way through my trip to Las Vegas! Right now I'm taking a break from last minute errands, cleaning, and packing. In a couple of hours I will be boarding a train Boston bound to spend the night with my friends that I am going on vacation with.

This vacation is so necessary. Work has been wicked stressful and my mind just needs a break. I'm a little nervous about the flights but I know we'll be just fine. I am a nervous flyer. I work myself up over it especially in the last 24 hours before takeoff. I did just finish a book that was super helpful and rational. I am absolutely fascinated with the amazing art of flying. I love taking off and landing, it's such an adrenaline rush. It's the turbulence that gets my nerves going. I used to fly when I was younger and never had a fear. I've just developed this anxiety in the last 5 years. It's hard to put a finger on the how and why but I'm thinking it has everything to do with my brother's death. I do have Vicodin this time so that should help with the anxiety. I guess I used to have no fear and now death is such a real thing; I always assume/expect the worst which I know is not the way to look at it. I need to see it for what it is. Thousands of planes fly everyday and everyone is safe. The flight crew and pilots do this everyday for their jobs. I need to focus on the fact that we are so lucky to fly and the ability to do so is simply amazing!

Anyway, just wanted to drop in with an update. I will definitely blog when I return with pics and details. Have a great week friends!!

Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

2012-04-08T21:43:00.001-04:00

This quote popped into my head today at a time that I really needed to smile. It got me through that moment of tears and sadness.

I did my best to hold it together. After all, it was Easter Sunday and I had every reason to be having a good time. We were having brunch with my boyfriend's family, which after 5 years together, they're my family too. My mind was busy with thoughts of my own parents. And my brothers. One is away at college in NC and the other.. well, he's in heaven.

Tomorrow marks the 5th year of Michael's passing. 5 years. How did I get here from there? It's true what they say, that time heals. But that's a wound that will never heal. It's gotten easier, yes, but the anniversaries of his death are always so hard.

Five years ago today, my family was all together. We were having our last holiday as a whole. Easter fell on the 8th that year, just like this one. We lost him on the 9th. I've accepted that he's not coming back but it's still hard to know our family is incomplete without him. I guess I get so jealous seeing my boyfriend's family all together. So happy. Holidays make my parents want to hide and I don't blame them. Today I wanted to hide away too. I disappeared after brunch to the bathroom after reading my phone. I had updates that my friends had written messages on my late Brothers facebook wall. I started welling up with tears right there on the couch and had to get away. I didn't want attention, I wish no one had even noticed that I was gone.

I can't say I want people to know how I feel because it's a horrible low. No one should feel that way. But sometimes it's so hard when no one else understands. Except my parents and my brother Dan. Tomorrow is going to be incredibly difficult and I really wish I had taken the day off from work. I guess it wouldn't have done me any good since I'd just be a hermit all day but I'd probably be better off. God grant me the strength to get through it. You've taken us this far, so I have faith. I don't know where I'd be without it.

I just had to get that off of my chest.

I can't wait until I have before & after pics!

2011-10-09T17:56:00.000-04:00

I've spent the last couple of days gearing myself up to begin eating healthy again. Back in May, I started going to a new obgyn. In the future I will research before I start a new doctor because that was my first and last visit with her. Her english was so broken that I could barely understand her and she was just downright rude. She told me I am "morbidly obese". I understand that is a clinical term but what an awful word that "morbid" is. When I think "morbid", I think "death" instantly. I clearly understand that my BMI classifies me in that category but the way she spoke to me was demeaning. I left that appointment in tears and called my best friend to say I was done being fat. I immediately went to the grocery store and bought salad supplies. I did great for about a month and probably lost about 15 pounds. Everything was fitting "loosely" and I could squeeze into sizes I haven't gotten past my thighs in years. I became so confident that I started to reward myself with food.

Since then I've probably gained that weight back and then some. I need to take control again and not give up. I need to lose about 100lbs. The weather has been so beautiful this weekend that I felt so inspired to start walking again. Yesterday I walked to the end of my road and back which is just about a mile and a half total. What do I do today? Make some delicious apple crisp. Here I go rewarding myself again. But at least it's fruit, right? I did only have a 6 inch @ Subway today so I'm sure a little sliver of apple crisp won't be too bad. What I've learned in the past is I can't have a strict "diet", it just doesn't work for me. I need to eat healthy and really emphasize the term "healthy" rather than "diet".

I might try having instant oatmeal for breakfast and lunch, then have a healthy dinner no later than 7pm. It's worth a shot. I just need to find something that works for me and stick to it. I want to look good again. I no longer recognize that person in pictures that is supposed to be myself.

Cheers to eating healthy and finding my way back over to the OTHER side of the store. :-)

Finally on the right track.

2011-10-08T09:54:00.001-04:00

I'm finally at a point in my life where everything seems to be headed in the right direction. I have a wonderful boyfriend and next month marks our 5 year anniversary. That alone is just amazing to me. He's a great guy and he makes me so happy. But enough about all of that, I finally have goals that seem obtainable. I'm at the half way mark of achieving my Associate's Degree in Business Administration. I took this semester off and have been beating myself up over it ever since. I'm done taking off any time from school, it's time to buckle down and get that degree. I need it to move forward in my life.

Though I need the degree to get further and obtain a job I love, it feels good to know that things are on the right track. I love the clients I'm working with and it feels great to be making a difference in their lives but it's just not a permanent job for me. I feel like there's a reason I'm there. I've always known I wanted to work with people with developmental disabilities and I just feel like when the time comes to move on, I'll have felt a sense of accomplishment from this job. I've learned so much in the year and a half that I've already been there. The benefits are wonderful and the organization I work for really cares about their employees. The pay is not that great but it's a far cry from waiting tables. I'm really thankful those days are long gone.

Speaking of waitressing, Friendly's has gone bankrupt. There wasn't any job security when I worked there for those 6 years so I can't even imagine working there now when they've closed down a long list of stores. I'm sure there's even more on the chopping block. While I feel terrible for my friends that do still work there, I hope this will give them an opportunity to venture out and get away from that hell hole. I'm not bitter over that place, I swear! ;-)

Anyway friends, I need to get going with my day so I'll talk to you soon!

R.I.P. Steve Jobs.

2011-10-06T17:34:00.000-04:00

I've never in my lifetime owned an Apple computer but I am a bit familiar with them as my best friend growing up always had one. I've always been a PC girl but I do have to say that I would love to get one in the near future.

The world lost a great man yesterday. Steve Jobs, the former CEO and co-founder of Apple & Pixar Animation Studios died yesterday. He struggled with Pancreatic Cancer and also had a tumor removed in 2009 . He stepped down from his position of CEO @ Apple just about 6 weeks ago. He must've known he didn't have much time. I never knew much about the man until I heard he had resigned and I've learned a lot about him, along with the rest of the world, now that he has passed away.

If you don't know much about him, or even if you do, I recommend watching the video below. It's a commencement speech he made in 2005 and is truly inspirational. That man was the epitome of living your dreams. He's certainly inspired me. He changed the world by inventing the Apple computer and opening the door for his competitors. He gave us digital music in the form of the iPod, the iTunes store, the amazing iPad, and the iPhone, my personal favorite. He also saved Apple when they were nearly bankrupt in 1996 and led them into being the most valuable company in the world presently. He accomplished so much in his short 56 years. He's now high in the ranks with Thomas Edison and Einstein which I completely agree with. If it weren't for Steve Jobs, we wouldn't have this technology that we can longer live without.

REST IN PEACE STEVE JOBS

1955 - 2011

Thank god for the "unsubscribe" link.

2011-10-05T16:23:00.000-04:00

If you have a smartphone of any kind and it receives email, you'll understand my pain. Not only is my iphone attached to my hip literally at all times, but I also have to check it immediately after I hear the "ding" of an email, text, or voicemail. So about a million times a day (and that's hardly an exaggeration) I check my emails and they're constantly from the same companies. For example, WebMD, every single store I shop at, and the newest culprit, ShoeDazzle.com!

Forever I have just deleted these annoying emails but to save myself the annoyance, I am on an "unsubscribe" frenzy! That little link at the bottom of those annoying emails really is a godsend. It's right up there with the Spam folder!

My ode to Simply Orange.

2011-09-10T22:18:00.000-04:00

It's been a long time since I last wrote. I don't have a good excuse - I guess I just forgot? I've been busy with everyday life and from time to time I think, "I should blog about this.." This is one of those instances! I'm having a lazy Saturday night of surfing the internet and watching Jersey Shore reruns. (yes, I'm guilty!)

And to be completely random, I have to confess my love for Simply Orange juice. I've always been addicted to OJ since I was a little kid. It's a staple in my fridge, I have to have it. I usually buy whatever brand is on sale each week but after trying them all, I have to say that Simply Orange is simply the best. It is so pure, smooth and delightful. I love it so much and have drank almost the entire bottle tonight. So I'm a little weird...Hopefully I don't pay for this at 3am with acid indigestion! If I do, I'll have to admit it was worth it!

Maybe I should take a Tums now just in case?

<3 Talk to you soon friends!

Well everyone I know has got a reason to say, put the past away.

2010-11-06T15:59:00.001-04:00

I was feeling quite nostalgic last night and starting reading some old blogs that I had from back in the day. I came across some entries about a guy I used to be friends with and out of curiosity I looked him up on facebook to see what he was up to. I checked out his wall and to my surprise there were a bunch of "rest in peace" messages. As I went down the wall I realized that he passed away. What a way to find out. His girlfriend left a message saying that he had commit suicide on October 28th. For some reason this really hit home to me and I spent the entire night dwelling on it. Reminiscing about the old times and listening to "our songs".

His name was Jay and we met on FaceTheJury.com, a prehistoric facebook per say. I don't even know if that is still around. He was from the next town over and for awhile we exchanged messages. We were young kids when we met, I'd say maybe in like 10th grade. We knew a lot of the same people. Because neither of us could drive yet, we used to have our friends pick us up to hang out. We became great friends but at the time it was nothing more. He ended up getting a girl pregnant and then decided to marry her and join the Navy to support the family. While he was away in boot camp, she cheated on him and drained his bank account. It was then that we decided to "cross the line" and we both confessed our feelings for each other. When he came home on leave for 2 weeks in the summer, we spent most of the time together. It was beautiful. We'd spend hours in my car just listening to music, talking, holding hands, driving around; any way that we could be together. All of those things you do when you're young and in love.

While home on his leave he got the news that he would be stationed in Norfolk, VA after he returned to boot camp. He gave me his dogtag and promised me he would send for me. Once he was gone, it was over. He disappeared for a good year. So I of course was broken hearted for quite some time. I finally heard from him about a year later when he apologized and after that our friendship was never the same again; he had also left the Navy and I never got the right story about what happened there. He told me he'd tell me someday. We grew apart after this and he met a new girl and moved to Michigan to be with her. Fast forward 4 years and here I am... mourning his death.

I guess I always thought our paths would cross again, as they usually have on and off throughout the years. I am trying to decide whether or not to go to his funeral services on this coming Tuesday. My friends say I should because I might regret it later if I don't. I don't know, I'm torn. I covered my shift at work so I have the option. I have a couple of days to decide. I don't know why I'm letting this bother me so much. I think it's because death is so final. Either way, I hope he rests in peace.

Revelation #8473: I'm going to (try) to lose weight! (again)

2010-08-17T00:01:00.000-04:00

As another "fat" summer is about to end, I am embarking on a journey. One that I've tried before but ever so unsucessfully. I'm going to attempt to lose weight. I am so over the fact that the normal me is a fat girl and that it's so apparent to everyone. I know I'm big but when I see pictures I can't help but think "daaamn". Not to mention, my sister has just sweated off 85 pounds and I'm really never going to hear the end of that one. It's bad enough she's always been on my case to get my thyroid check because hyperactive thyroid runs in the family. She says that's why she lost weight. Could it be that she's living off of a one income and feeding three children? Maybe she's just not eating? I don't know. What I do know is I'm finally going to do this.

I've been big for a few years now. It started after high school when I didn't have to walk anywhere anymore because I got a car. And that car made easy access to fast food joint drive-thrus. I'd also like to blame the dollar menu at each and every one of those easy accessible fatty traps. I mean c'mon, they make it so alluring! Cheap food that tastes so sinfully fulfilling? No wonder America is so fat. It's not our fault we have no self control!

And that's exactly what it all boils down to. Self-Control. I'll be the first to admit that those words have rarely been in my vocabulary. Especially when it comes to food! I eat when I'm happy, when I'm sad, and when I have nothing else to do. Hell, even if I have something to do! It is how I reward myself. Well finally all of those pounds I have really packed on are really adding up.

I'm making a step in the right direction. Wednesday morning at 9am I will be attending a Weight Watchers meeting. I'm giving in. The funny part is, I know many people who have sucessfully lost a ton of weight from doing Weight Watchers. So why have I waited? Lack of Self-Control. Procrastionation. Laziness. I can come with a million excuses but they'll all just make me hungry so I'm going to stop there.

I'll keep you informed on how it goes. :)

Size 10 = Plus Size? I think not!

2010-07-23T00:08:00.000-04:00

Being a full-figured woman, I am appalled hear that Crystal Renn is being considered a plus size model at a size 10! I hadn't even heard of her until just recently so searched for her on Google Images. While it's clear to me that she's fluctuated with her weight over the years, she certainly is not plus sized at the moment. There's a lot of media attention on the fact that she was photo-shopped to look like a size 2.

A size 10 is definitely not even close to plus size. In fact a 10 is still on the "skinny" side of the store, if you're lucky enough to find a store that has "plus sizes". No wonder women have so many weight issues. Who decides what's plus size? The fashion world? If it were up to them, we'd all have to be a size 2, 4 or *gasp* a 6!

All I want to know is if a 10 is fat than what the hell am I. Check out this this article to see just what I'm talking about. I think Crystal Renn is a beautiful woman and she looks beautiful no matter what her pant size is.

I love summer!!

2010-07-20T00:45:00.000-04:00

I've totally been neglectful and I apologize if anyone bothers to follow me.

Things have been going pretty well. Just trying to keep cool, literally. This has been the hottest summer we've seen in a long time and I'm not complaining. I'm fortunate enough to have a pool at home and at work! It's awesome and I take full advantage of it. Work's going well. I've been doing alot of trainings such as CPR, CPI, etc. It's awesome to be able to put them on my resume.

I'm loving my new car! It's amazing. I put full coverage on it because I was so nervous driving it, especially in the summertime. I live in a very large tourist attraction area and I don't trust their driving.

Anyway, I'm just keeping things brief tonight. I'm off to pass out. Talk to you soon!

It's 8am and almost 80 out!

2010-07-09T07:55:00.000-04:00

It's been quite some time since I last posted. Almost a month. I can't believe how neglectful I've been to my blog! I really need to get back to writing here. It's a great way for me to express my thoughts and reflect.

I'm still getting adjusted to working 2nd shift. I like it but it's different for me getting home sometimes as last as 11pm. It's nice to sleep in though. Work is going well. I'm definitely "fitting in" at the group home. We're short staffed so I've been working up to 50 hours a week. The guys have their ups and downs but overall I enjoy working with them and knowing I'm making a difference in their lives.

I finally got a new car yesterday! It's all legal and on the road. It's an 02 Chevy Monte Carlo. It's sexy! I'm gonna miss the little Sentra. That car was awesome to me for the last 3 years, especially since it was supposed to be "only temporary". It never left me on the side of the road though their were some very close calls! I'm up bright and early today because I can't wait to go out driving!

I got two wisdom teeth out last friday and this morning I have a follow-up. The gums hurt so bad where they were, I'm really hoping it's healing properly! I'm nervous about going because the Surgeon can be a real jerk. His bedside manners suck, I've noticed it and so has anyone else I know that has been to him.

Anyway, that was just a quick update. I will talk to you later!

Did you miss me?!

2010-06-08T22:37:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I've went this long without writing. There's no excuse other than I forgot! Things have been going pretty well other than the fact that my grandfather died on May 28th. He was 82 years old. He had a heart attack and the whole thing was just devastating. He was an incredible man and I loved him very much. He was always there for me especially when I was a child. When I was having a bad day, Grandpa would come pick me up and I'd spent so much time with him which I consider myself lucky for. He actually beat cancer about a year ago as well. I had the honor of doing a reading at his funeral which I was nervous about but did it graciously. As much as I miss him, I'm glad to know he lead a full life.

Work has been going pretty well. I'm still getting to know the guys and their habits. They all seem to enjoy having me. I always try to make sure everyone's having a good time as well as getting their daily routine taken care of. They just love to test our patience. haha. I'm glad to have a job where I'm making a difference in the lives of other people. It is a very rewarding job. And I finally work for a company who actually takes care of their employees! Hallelujah! I was able to get paid for the days I missed when Grandpa died. That never happened at Friendly's even after all of the years I put it. I have to admit how amazing it feels to drive by that hell hole and know that I don't have to even so much as pull in the parking lot. The other day was free ice cream day and the guys wanted to go. I didn't even want to go there for that! No way! So second shift took them instead. LoL.
Anyway, I'm gonna go pass out as I am exhausted! Talk to ya soon!

I love days off.

2010-05-20T21:43:00.000-04:00

So today I had my first day off in a long time. Sort of. I had to go to mandatory training for work. When you get hired by this agency, you have to through a series of training courses. There's a lot. The good part is you get paid to go. The bad? It's usually on your day off. So I had to go to "Core Curriculum" today. I learned a lot in four hours. The importance of hand washing. Always wear gloves when deal with sick consumers. All sorts of really boring, common sense stuff. At least the guy teaching it was a lot of fun, he made it less painful.

That was the excitement of my day. I went shopping (wouldn't be a day off for me if I didn't!) and now I'm going to relax and watch a movie. Going first thing in the AM for a much needed mani/pedi to get ready for this weekends shenanigans. I have a Bachelorette party to go to! We're going to the City, getting a hotel room, and romping around the city. The whole 9. It's gonna be amazing. I'll tell you all about it. :)

Relaxing...

2010-05-19T11:26:00.000-04:00

So it's been a couple of days. Not a whole lot is going on. Just the typical stuff, such as work. Finished my paper yesterday and dropped it off to my teacher. This whole working second shift thing is screwing up my sleeping patterns! I'm not necessarily complaining because apposed to getting up @ 5:30am everyday, it's a beautiful thing. But now I sleep until God only knows when. Like today. Getting up at 11am isn't really acceptable so I have to stop this now before it gets too comfortable.

I've been in a Spring cleaning mood so I think it's time to start a pot of coffee and get it done before I leave for work. I leave you now with a pic of this amazing candle that I am addicted to at the moment.

Yankee Candle is simply the best! I got Shortbread Cookie for my birthday from my boyfriend's mom who works at a YC retail store. I always know what my presents gonna be from her, I love it! hehehe

School's out for the summer!

2010-05-13T17:25:00.000-04:00

And alas, summer is finally here! (almost..) Well I took my last final exam today and have a paper due on Tuesday. Then I'm done until the Fall. I'm still considering a Summer class but most likely will opt out for that because of pure laziness. lol.
I tried selling my textbooks back today at the school store, very unsuccessfully I might add. So I'm going to try Amazon.com because that's what people have been telling me to do. I just like the instant gratification of cash on the spot! Oh well. Because of my little mishap on Tuesday with my laptop, I'm picking my new Netbook tomorrow. Call me crazy. My laptop hasn't acted up today but it doesn't mean it won't. Plus I got a really good deal on the Netbook so I'm gonna try it out. The fact that it can fit right in my purse really intrigues me.
I'm going to go enjoy a cold beer and enjoy the sun while we have it. The weather has been hectic with rain on and off so who knows what tomorrow will bring. See ya later!

Life is good.

2010-05-12T22:21:00.000-04:00

Good evening. My laptop is like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. Well that's how I feel about it ever since I dropped it on pavement yesterday. I was at school and stopped by car to unload a couple of books from my very heavy backpack. Apparently after I took some books out, I never zipped it back up fully because the minute I put it on my back, my laptop fell out. I couldn't do anything but laugh. That nervous, pissed off, mad laugh. What else was I gonna do? The damage (literally) had already been done. I went inside, took a deep breath and pushed the on button. It actually turned on. I couldn't believe it. But now, unfortunately, it has a bunch of weird quirks. It buzzes loudly, turns off randomly, gets really hot, etc.. So like I said, it's like a time bomb and could fail at any time.. So like the tech fiend that I am, I went and ordered a Netbook today. I'll be picking it up either tomorrow or Friday. I just want to try it out. That way if this bad boy decides to shit the bed, I'll have a backup. No way am I going back to the desktop.
Other than that little mishap, this has been a good week so far. I finished my employment @ Friendly's on Sunday. Of course not without great catastrophe. I got a muscle crap in my lower back around 12:30pm so I stopped taking tables and went to the hospital. The pain was excruciating and I was scared. The doctor said it was nothing major but I do have a follow-up on Friday just to make sure everything is okay. They gave me some good meds to deal with the pain though which was very helpful.
It is so weird not going to Friendly hell every morning. It's so odd that I can sleep in until pretty much anytime that I feel like crawling out of bed. I'm not going to get too comfortable doing that only because I can't just sleep and work. I have to get other stuff done in the meantime. I want to get into a routine, maybe squeeze in the gym bright and early. We'll see. I love my new job. I had my first shift on my own tonight, no training. It went really well. Next week I start full-time and also have trainings which will be great in the paycheck. Speaking of, I get my first direct deposit on Friday. I'm psyched. I'm gonna miss the cash everyday, I have to admit. But I'll adjust.

Okay, enough procrastinating. Off to write a paper I go, and finish studying for my Marketing final tomorrow. Goodnight!

Killin' Time.

2010-05-06T11:26:00.000-04:00

It's been a beautiful month of May so far. The weather has been grand. I've been to the beach twice this week already! The life changes I've been making have also been strengthening my mood and outlook. It's sweet relief to know that I'm not going to be a waitress for the rest of my life. That's the way things were looking until now. Not that there's anything wrong with that if that's what you want to do, but it's not for me. I've gotten to the point where I have 2 more days left and I don't even want to go. I do need the cash though. I'm in a great mood at work and everyone knows why. If someone wants to be pissed at me because I can't get their burger medium rare for them, it's okay. (stupid company policy if you ask me anyway) I'm not worried about negative customer surveys being sent into corporate anymore for fear that my hours may be cut. I never got a negative response in 6 years. Maybe I should try? Haha. Maybe not. I can finally unsubscribe from all of those spam emails I receive from CareerBuilders and SnagAJob, thank god because they fill up my inbox like you wouldn't believe.
My new job is going great so far. I'm getting to know everyone pretty well and we're starting to feel comfortable with each other. My official job title is a Direct Support Professional. That's the fancy name for it anyway. In a nutshell, I work in a group home with individuals with disabilities who need 24 support. There's only 3 of them so it's not hard to handle, and there's always 2 staff on at all times unless you do overnights. I just can't believe I'm getting paid to go for walks, take trips, go to the playground, etc! It's more involved than that, of course but those are a couple of the things we get to do on the clock. I love it. I'm so happy to be able to make a difference in the life of someone else.
Right now I am procrastinating. I'm in the library at school and should really be working on my Marketing project and/or my essay for English since finals are next week. I'm looking forward to having a 3 month break from school. It's coming at a good time. I guess I shouldn't waste anymore time and get going on those things. See ya later!

I have some wonderful news!

2010-05-02T21:08:00.000-04:00

I'm such a bad blogger. Maybe that's why I don't have many followers. Or maybe I don't blog much because of that reason. I'd say it's a good mixture of the two. Life has been super hectic lately. Believe it or not, days go by where I don't even turn on my laptop which is not like me at all.
I got a new job! Yes, finally. As of this coming Sunday, Mother's Day, it will be my last day. Thank god. This has been long awaited. I got a full-time (with excellent benefits!) at a center for people with special needs. I now work at a 24 hour support group home. I began last monday and it's been great! I've been spending a lot of time getting to know the people and my new coworkers. Last night we had a picnic at a park and played on the playground. And I got paid for doing it! I just can't believe that's work! I'll take it. I've spent too long working a job where I had to work my ass off just to get by. This job has all of the perks. On top of benefits, I accrue sick time and vacation time! 3 weeks a year! Isn't that amazing? haha. I'm still so flabbergasted by the whole thing. If I could afford to, I would just take this whole week off but that's just not in the numbers for me. But it's okay. I'll be able to say goodbye to all of my customers.
Next week are finals at school. Because of that, I think everything will transition quite nicely. I will finish out the semester and be able to put 100% into my new job. That way when the Fall semester starts, I will be adjusted. Well anyway, I'm gonna go and work on my assignments. Talk to you soon!