A Treatise on Humankind

This week's featured science quote: Henri Poincaré (Science and Hypothesis, 1905)

2008-10-02T23:26:00.002+02:00

Science is built up of facts as a house is built up of stones; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a heap of stones is a house.

The Tale of a Secretary, Interlude III: The Death of General Decency

2008-09-07T17:14:00.005+02:00

Excerpts from The Little Red Book (Quotations from Chairman James Libel)

2008-08-26T16:41:00.003+02:00

The book Quotations from Chairman James Libel (colloquially: The Little Red Book) will be published by Juicergy™ Press by late October this year. As a treat to our loyal readers, we publish a short selection of the aphorisms contained therein:

James R. Libel on...

... the existence of extraterrestrials: "All evidence seemed to converge to a sole possible conclusion: abduction by alien life forms."

... bosom: "Most of us know that when presented with a clear view of cleavage, one ends up handing over the conscious control of the eyes' motor functions to something deeply hidden within the cerebellum."

... surveillance: "It's a delicate balance act to walk the Orwellian tightrope."

... writing: "I firmly believe that in order to write successfully for the Web, the text needs to be concise, witty, and link elsewhere."

... J.P. Reed: "I never thought I'd see the day when the libelist became the libelee. Granted, I may have had it coming for quite some time now, but listen, boy. You have a long travel ahead of you on the road of slander if you are ever to be deemed apt."

... The Club: "We will do everything within our power to ensure the integrity of The Club. Hail Reed! Hail Libel! Long live the uprising!"

... self-delusion: "Let's face it. Life is a bitch, and we seldom get what we want. That's a good starting point."

... fandom: "In these situations, what alternative does one have apart from granting the ladies that which they seek? Apropos, I really do have nothing against our feline stalkers."

Pre-order your copy now!

This message was brought to you in cooperation with the friendly people at the Juicergy™ Corporation.
Juicergy™ - Empowering you through affirmative psychology since 2007.

The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter VIII: Affirming The Shadows

2008-07-01T18:59:00.008+02:00

Prerequisites:
Committee report
The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter I: Scenery of Salvation
The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter II: Introduction to a Diligent Task
The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter III: The Smiling Man
The Tale of a Secretary, Interlude: Mr. Reed's Everyday Life
The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter IV: Trahison D'être
The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter V: Reaching the Rubicon
The Tale of a Secretary, Interlude II: Existential Angst
The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter VI: Eschatology Blues
The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter VII: That Which Hath No Name

The uneasy dance of bare feet on limestone floor tiles smoothly promulgated James's trepidation through the unilluminated hallway and along its walls. It seemed to penetrate every nook and cranny of this Gothic style edifice, coldly and with callous indifference advertising his dread to anyone within earshot. In his ears his throbbing heart overpowered the voice of reason, now a subdued whisper cowering in the overwhelming shadows.

Pantingly he forced himself to continue to stagger forward looking to the left-hand wall for the support that his legs no longer granted him. His world continued to spin out of control, leaving James nauseated and forcing him to lean his back against the wall, lest he lose his bearings completely. He slid down to the cold floor, back still against the wall. He hated to feel this way. He hated spiraling down like this. And, the more he thought about it, he hated his feelings of powerlessness getting the best of him.
"Get a fucking grip, James!" he commanded himself. All the feelings passed over and through him. He permitted them to do so and as they trickled away he gradually regained a controlled breathing. Not before long, he was sitting quietly, arms folded over his belly, staring blankly into the opposite wall and listening to the reverberating silence. His blood froze as a chill ran down his spine.

"James..." a hoarse whisper rippled through the hallway. Turning his head little by little, he noticed a brass door at the end of the corridor. It was a well-crafted piece, the panel astonishingly adorned with a motif depicting a hawk and a raven, each perched nearby opposite stiles on the sides of the intimidatingly large hinged barrier. James's heart thumped uneasily.
The doorknob was, insofar James could surmise, made of brownish shining ivory. It emitted a strange glow, playfully begging to be at the center of attention. A warm luminous glow escaped from under the door, reflecting on the polished sill spreading the light in all directions.

A mere score paces away James could for the life of him not understand how he'd failed to notice the door - the very thing providing the biggest contrast to the darkness of the hallway. The door had an alluring quality, and as it beckoned, James unflinchingly rose to his feet. Eight determined steps later the susurrus once again swept through the corridor, only this time with more intensity: "James..." He stopped in his tracks. This time, however, the sudden terror had evaporated and was to James's contentment being replaced by two not too unfamiliar feelings.
The increased illumination was causing his pupils to constrict as if they were coiling up around an imaginary prey. He pushed onwards without squinting and after half a dozen steps he was overcome by an eerie sensation of finality. "Once I walk through that door there's no going back." he thought. "But then again, what are doors for if not to be opened, save being kicked in?"

The remaining half a dozen steps literally disappeared as he found himself standing a foot away from the imposing gate. The excitement and apprehension were causing his limbs to move jittery and his eyes were searing from the intense light. The wheezing voice, this time forcefully affirmatory: "James." He drew a deep breath and reached for the doorknob. Heart pounding in his ears anew and with sweat dripping from his forehead, he slowly turned the knob. The metallic creaking drowned out all other noises. He kept on pulling using both hands, and with the door finally ajar, James was engulfed by the brilliant light.

James simultaneously gasped for air and sat up in his sweat-drenched bed. It had come to him again. The dream. Though the details varied from time to time, the core never changed: Darkened corridor, terror, voice, door and light were all present. The first couple of times had been truly horrifying experiences, but as the nights passed, he gained more control over the dream. He knew the trepidation no longer carried any weight, for the simple reason the allure of finding out what hid behind that door now was more powerful than ever. Not quite ready to let go of the image of the door, he closed his eyes and visualized the light, trying to steady his trembling body.
Swinging his legs over the edge of the upper bunk bed, he scanned the dormitory for movement, finding none. With a gentle push he departed his bed, landing soundlessly on the floor below. "Not quite morning yet." he thought. The sleeping sounds of the nineteen other pupils affirmed this sentiment. He sneaked out of the room, carefully closing the door behind him.

The washroom lay a mere fistful steps down the corridor. James entered the room, flicked the ornamented light switch and proceeded to an elevated black stone slab into which a row of sinks were embedded. James reached for the faucet while using his other hand to rub his left eye. His eye spied an envelope resting solemnly against the gray wall. "To James", it read in large, cordial letters. "James..." the voice from his dreams echoed. His heart, having finally become tranquil, started pounding his chest like how a madman might pound on the doors of his cushiony confine. His heart pricked him when he turned his gaze upward at the unclean mirror and beheld an stony, paradoxically smiling face.
It was a spruce man in his mid-twenties who could easily have been mistaken for a businessman, had he not had such a brawny build. Though the sum total of his face was emotionlessness, there was a glow of fierce determination in his eyes that betrayed the intellectual dragon within. This was a dangerous man, James gathered. Neither man nor boy budged. After seemingly countless rounds of respiration, James swung around, taking his eyes off the man's smiling face at the last possible instant, and found that no one was there. He retreated a step, grabbed the letter and opened it discreetly, almost reverently.

"James" it read. "We proffer hope and opportunities abound. We offer an epistemology superior to that of revelation, authority and testimony - a way of acquiring reliable knowledge that is, in theory and practice, dependent upon reason alone. We offer truth, albeit with a minuscule T. However, it is not without admission. To reach the light you must leave at the door any pretenses you have come by during your youth, any [expletive deleted] wishful thinking, and, though tentatively, any metaphysical certitude. If you find this proposition fair, we will assist your embarkment on this lifelong journey."
It was signed only "The Elders." James stared blankly at the words, struggling to comprehend their full sense. "How did they know about the door?" was the only thought running through his head. James knew that he wanted through that door. Everything else was unimportant.
Unbeknownst to him sweat was running down his temples, dripping to the tiles and slowly adding up to a small puddle. He took a swift step forward, slipped and spun around. "How did they know about the-" he thought as he was knocked out cold against the edge of the sink.

A restless fortnight had passed without anything out of the ordinary. The dreams were gone, but what good did that do, when in their stead vivid daydreams intruded upon his consciousness? His absence of mind had not gone unnoticed by his teachers, who were already giving him a hard time as it was. The disconnect between dream and reality grew to the point that James feared that they soon might be ripped apart permanently. This afternoon however, James spent in the real world - for he had a mission.
To fill his need for cash and extracurricular activities, James had taken a side job running errands for various shady characters. The assignments were mostly of the benign kind: delivering a piece of information across town (as was the case today), vandalizing a piece property or relieving someone of a particularly heavy purse. He had no moral quandries about the whole business - everyone did what they could to survive, and as long as he followed the instructions, he was certain no harm would befall him.
James's jaw dropped. Panting from the many steps that had transported him across The City, he realized he already knew of this building in two ways. Firstly, it served as his Gothic house of bad dreams. Secondly, his memory connected it with a great fire. "Yes, now I remember! This is the... the... Shamb-, no... Shay-, no, darnit, I can't remember!" James thought quite loudly. What he could remember were the rumors about this place being an orphanage, an asylum, or perhaps both. Either way not a house of pleasant dreams.

Without conscious effort James soon found himself picking the lock to the basement generator room. When the lock resigned with a familiar click, James slowly pushed the door open, feeling the welcoming damp against his face. He quickly advanced through the mazelike passages until his feet hit the familiar limestone floor tiles. He raised his head and fixated the familiar door at the end of the corridor. This was the moment of truth. He walked forward in a steady pace. All the same feelings flowed over and through him, and once again he let them do so. Determinedly, he reached for the ornamented doorknob and started turning it slowly. The metallic creaking drowned out every other sensation. He pulled frantically, and with the door finally ajar, he simply squeezed through and walked in.

The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter VII: That Which Hath No Name

2008-06-07T15:29:00.006+02:00

Interview with Ira Banks, Ph.D., affirmative psychologist and member of the Board of Directors of The Juicergy™ Corporation

2008-06-06T19:15:00.006+02:00

Libel: First and foremost, Mr. Banks, I would like to extend to you our readership's enormous gratitude for granting us this interview. You have been a sought after interviewee. We know that you are a very busy man, Sir, considering how your company has just entered into an establishment phase on the hot, dare I say overly hyped, Chinese market.

Banks: Thanks, James, and I assure you that we at the Juicergy™ Corporation always will find the time to have a chat with men working to promote the good cause. What you alluded to about the Chinese market - it yet being unripe - may be of some truth, but we've spent the last 5 years trying to get our foot in the door, and I'll be damned if we were to miss the Chinese bandwagon.

Libel: Secondly, Sir, I would like to thank your wondrously friendly corporation for all the support it has shown of this interviewer's own research in the newly emerged field of affirmative psychology, and I know that Mr. Reed feels the same way about the interest shown in his research. You know we have reviewed your affirmative psychology tome on this treatise, but could you, Sir, please explain to the uninitiated the core ideas of affirmative thought?

Banks: Certainly. First I'd like to clarify what affirmative psychology isn't. It is in no way associated with the New Age positive thinking movement, whose stupidity and naiveté in my opinion defies description. Take Byrne's book for example (The Secret - Editor's note): Her premise is, presented as such for brevity's sake, that you can wish things into existence. Now if that doesn't show a mind-boggling lack of scientific understanding then I don't know what does.
Another thing that affirmative psychology isn't is a scam. It has been suggested, and in various discussion forums around the Internet often passionately argued, that affirmative psychology is merely a marketing ploy created by Juicergy™ for the exclusive purpose of selling our products by means of psychobabble!

Libel: I know that isn't the only allegation that has been leveled against your organization, but we will get to those later on. How would you respond to those arguing that affirmative psychology be labeled a pseudoscience?

Banks: It's a preposterous accusation. Anyone can check the science. If my critics had the integrity to do so, they would find that the science is sound and my argumentation flawless.

Libel: Yes, we mentioned your book "Foundations of Affirmative Psychology" earlier. You have done a heavy portion of the research yourself, much of it funded by an organization none other than Juicergy™ Multinational! Can you not recognize why some might see a conflict of interest here, aside form the fact that you on several places in your book heap praise upon Juicergy™ and strongly encourage the reader to donate money to said organization, whose causes, to put it mildly, seem to be veiled in a shroud of secrecy.

Banks: Of course I can acknowledge that some people lack the critical faculties required for understanding any truth. As for this supposed conflict of interest, I will not even dignify it with an answer longer than one word: Nuts! Me and my team of hardworking and dedicated researchers have worked decades to break through the rigid and reactionary establishment views in the psychological sciences. Though, this is science after all, and I am struggling to come to grips with the fact that I most likely will have to be vindicated by posterity. It's all so unnecessary, since all that the science of affirmative psychology would need in order to achieve a total paradigm shift (à la Kuhn) are a few open establishment minds. I guess we were asking too much from Big Science...

Libel: Some mainstream scientists would find such reasoning - that the proverbial door of psychological science is about to be blown off its hinges - to be a classic warning sign of a deluded mind, a crank. Though I myself stand firmly in the camp of the underdog, the contender, even leaning towards sitting on the fence, I surely recognize that the establishment view, backed up by Big Pharma and Big Therapy, does carry some weight in these matters. That is, a proper degree of skepticism is necessary, but they've gone way too far.
Now let's move on to Juicergy™, this extraordinarily friendly business partner of ours. Sir, how the heck do you people manage to keep calm and friendly in the midst of all this scathing criticism?

Banks: You know, James, when I told the boys and girls back at HQ that I was to be interviewed for The Treatise they all became green with envy, ordering me to extend their gratitude, and the gratitude of our entire business venture. You do wonderful work for enlightenment, truth and the advancement of science and critical thinking.

Libel: Please, Sir, you know we like to be known for our modesty. You're making this interviewer blush.

Banks: Either way, we appreciate your cooperation. To continue, The Juicergy™ Corporation is a multinational conglomerate specializing in personal development and empowerment through the means of affirmative psychology. We have been continuously incorporating our research findings into our even-developing product range of motivational tapes and nutritional juices. When we first started out with this back in 2007, we had almost 20 years of hard science to back up the healing and curative effects of our patented Juicergy™ juice. We are now, after having evaluated thousands upon thousands of customer satisfaction surveys, absolutely certain that Juicergy™ is the way to go for improving the dismal human condition and our world's current state of affairs. We use only the best available oranges, harvested on secret locations, in order to provide our customers with the best and most curative juice that money can buy.

Libel: About those harvesting fields... there have been reports out of Africa about a corporate militia terrorizing and forcibly recruiting natives into the orange processing industry. Would like to comment on that, Sir?

Banks: I am unaware of any such activities. The Juicergy™ Africa Division does have a local security force, but it merely serves to protect the workers against jealous villagers, who themselves were unable to secure a well-paid and perk-filled job at our facilities.

Libel: I can certainly see that happening. I believe that would be all for now. Thank you once again for the opportunity, Sir.

Banks: The pleasure was all mine.

This interview was brought to you in cooperation with the friendly people at the Juicergy™ Corporation.
Juicergy™ - Empowering you through affirmative psychology since 2007.

Coming Attractions At The Treatise: Quotations From Chairman James Libel

2008-05-28T01:16:00.003+02:00

Our loyal readers have much to look forward to in the upcoming weeks. We have managed to get an interview with one of the friendly people at the Juicergy™ Corporation, our official sponsor. If that wasn't enough, we will also reveal excerpts from the soon-to-be-published Little Red Book (more correctly: Quotations from Chairman James Libel.)

Patience is virtue, my dear friends.

This short message was brought to you in cooperation with the friendly people at the Juicergy™ Corporation.
Juicergy™ - Empowering you through affirmative psychology since 2007.

Op Platt: De Seggwies vun de Week

2008-02-03T01:12:00.000+01:00

Wat mien Ogen nich seet un mien Hart nich weet dat mookt mi den Kopp nich heet.

Die Abhandlung stellt Ihnen eine Sonderfeature vor: Südhessischer-Echo-Artikel

2008-02-01T15:17:00.000+01:00

Südhessischer-Echo-Artikel
12. Januar 2007

EXTRA! EXTRA! EXTRA!

MORD AN DER TU - STUDENTIN GIBT ALLES ZU

Die Ermittlungen in dem tragischen und viel diskutierten Unfall am Anfang dieses Monats haben eine unerwartete Wendung genommen. Am Dienstag habe sich eine 22-jährige Studentin zum Mord schuldig bekannt, so die Darmstädter Polizei. Sie sitze seit Sonntag in Untersuchungshaft und wurde am Dienstag des Mordes angeklagt. Das Opfer, der Student Andreas Knörzer, starb am 6. Dezember in einem angeblichen Chemielaborunfall an der Technischen Universität Darmstadt. Dank glücklicher Umstände konnte dieses Rätsel aufgeklärt werden.

Es sah lange aus als wäre es nur ein Labormissgeschick, jedoch weckten die außergewöhnlichen Umstände des Todesfalls schnell den Argwohn der Polizei. Man habe zuerst einen Metzgersgang gemacht, teilten die Behörden auf einer Pressekonferenz am Dienstag mit. Die Ermittler hatten irrigerweise einen Chemieprofessor verdächtigt, den Studenten ums Leben gebracht zu haben. Wenn eine Putzfrau nicht gewesen wäre, die zufälligerweise einen Liebesbrief am Tatort fand, hätte die Mörderin noch zu diesem Tag frei herumlaufen können.

Der Brief zusammen mit den widersprüchlichen Angaben der Studentin führte die Polizei zu der Annahme, dass die 22-jährige Frau etwas mit dem Todesfall zu tun hatte. Nach intensiven Verhören habe die Studentin die Tat zugegeben. Das Motiv sei nichts anders als Liebe, so Hans Spiekermann, Sprecher der Polizei. Ein anderer Chemieprofessor und die Studentin unterhielten seit Monaten eine geheime Liebesbeziehung. Dass so eine unschuldige Sache zum Mord führen sollte, hatte wohl niemand ahnen können.

Jedoch als Herr Knörzer von dieser außerehelichen Affäre erfahren habe, habe er versucht den Professor durch Erpressung dazu zu zwingen, ihm Geld und gute Noten zu geben. Die Studentin sei verzweifelt, als sie den Erpressungsbrief im Hause vom Professor fand, und entschied sich schnell danach, Andreas zu beseitigen. Dennoch deute in dieser Phase der Ermittlungen nichts darauf hin, dass der Professor etwas mit der Planung und dem Ablauf des Mordes zu tun habe, erzählt Spiekermann weiter. Die Ermittlungen gehen weiter, und sie werden wahrscheinlich Mitte Februar abgeschlossen.

Die Polizei habe Beweise in Form von elektronischen Dokumenten auf dem Rechner der Studentin gesichert. Auf der Festplatte gebe es viele gefährliche Anweisungen zum Sprengstoffmischen, unter anderem ein Sprengstoff, von dem im Chemielabor Reste gefunden seien. Es wurde dazu eine große Menge raubkopierter linksextremistischer Literatur auf dem Rechner gefunden. Die Studentin könne deswegen erwarten, sowohl des Mordes als auch des Raubkopierens angeklagt zu werden, sagt Spiekermann mit Nachdruck. Die GVU (Gesellschaft zur Verfolgung von Urheberrechtsverletzungen e.V.) sowie anderen internationalen Organisationen haben ihren Abscheu über die Tat bekundet.

Als Teil der Polizeiuntersuchung solle eine psychologische Begutachtung der mutmaßlichen Täterin durchgeführt werden. Die Untersuchung wird hoffentlich die Frage beantworten, wie eine scheinbar normale Studentin so ein entsetzliches Verbrechen begehen konnte. Nach ihrem Geständnis befindet sich die Universität im Schockzustand. Viele von den Kommilitonen der Studentin wollen nichts mit der Presse zu tun haben.
Eine Freundin der Täterin berichtet trotzdem "dem Echo": "Ja, ich kann mir zwar vorstellen, dass sie die Täterin ist. Ein normaler Mensch spaziert nicht mit einem ständigen Lächeln auf dem Gesicht herum - das ist ja nicht normal. Sie war immer freundlich, deshalb bin ich sehr erstaunt darüber, wie etwas so schief gehen konnte."

Der Durchbruch der Ermittlungen kam nachdem man es entdeckt habe, dass der zweite Chemieprofessor und Andreas nebeneinander in Wiesbaden wohnten, ließ eine Quelle der Polizei durchsickern. Die Polizei finde es wahrscheinlich, dass das Opfer das Liebespaar irgendwann bei einem Rendezvous erwischt habe. Die Polizei habe auch bei einer Hausdurchsuchung bei dem zweiten Chemieprofessor den Erpressungsbrief gefunden. Dazu stehe die Beweislage so fest, dass es sehr unwahrscheinlich wäre, die Studentin nicht des Mordes überführen zu können.

Es ist manchmal so im Leben, dass des Pudels Kern der Teufel ist.
James Ray Libel (auch bekannt als Herr Verleumdung) berichtet für das Südhessischer Echo.

This week's featured movie quote: Rebecca

2008-01-09T10:30:00.000+01:00

de Winter: Oh hang Mrs. Danvers. Why on earth should you be frightened of her? You behave more like an upstairs maid or something, not like the mistress of the house at all.
2nd Mrs. de Winter: Yes, I know I do. But I feel so uncomfortable. I try my best every day, but it's very difficult, with people looking me up and down as if I were a prize cow.
de Winter: Well, what does it matter if they do? You must remember that life at Manderley is the only thing that interests anybody down here.
2nd Mrs. de Winter: What a slap in the eye I must have been to them then. I suppose that's why you married me, cause you knew I was dull and gauche and inexperienced. There would never be any gossip about me.
de Winter: Gossip? What do you mean?
2nd Mrs. de Winter: I-I don't know. I just said it for something to say. Don't look at me like that. Maxim. What's the matter? What have I said?
de Winter: It wasn't a very attractive thing to say, was it?
2nd Mrs. de Winter: No. It was rude, hateful.
de Winter: I wonder if I did a very selfish thing in marrying you.
2nd Mrs. de Winter: What do you mean?
de Winter: I'm not much of a companion to you, am I? You don't get much fun, do you? You ought to have married a boy, someone of your own age.
2nd Mrs. de Winter: Maxim, why do you say this? Of course we're companions.
de Winter: Are we? I don't know. I'm very difficult to live with.
2nd Mrs. de Winter: No, you're not difficult, you're easy, very easy. Our marriage is a success, isn't it? A great success? We're happy, aren't we? Terribly happy? If you don't think we are happy, it would be much better if you didn't pretend. I'll go away. Why don't you answer me?
de Winter: How can I answer you when I don't know the answer myself? If you say we're happy, let's leave it at that. Happiness is something I know nothing about.

We once again apologize for the inconvenience

2008-01-04T04:02:00.000+01:00

The Treatise will return...

Don't be loser - become a Juicer™!

2008-01-02T23:46:00.000+01:00

This week's featured movie quote: Dr. Strangelove

2008-01-02T17:39:00.000+01:00

[after learning of the Soviet doomsday machine]
President Muffley: But this is absolute madness, Ambassador! Why should you build such a thing?
Ambassador de Sadesky: There were those of us who fought against it, but in the end we could not keep up with the expense involved in the arms race, the space race, and the peace race. At the same time our people grumbled for more nylons and washing machines. Our doomsday scheme cost us just a small fraction of what we had been spending on defense in a single year. The deciding factor was when we learned that your country was working along similar lines, and we were afraid of a doomsday gap.
President Muffley: This is preposterous. I've never approved of anything like that.
Ambassador de Sadesky (emphasizing): Our source was the New York Times.

And now: A word from our sponsor

2008-01-02T17:05:00.000+01:00

---ADVERTISEMENT---

In distress over your financial situation or defective interpersonal relationships?
Have you even wondered what separates you from the successful, smart and rich?
Or maybe you're just stressed out in our hectic and destructive society?

We have the answer for you.

Our patented and scientifically proven Juicergy™ integrative personal spiritual transformation method is guaranteed to help you realize your full potential - and make people rich.

For only €49.95 you will get the Juicergy Starting Kit™ and a free 30-minute consultation with our professional Juice™ mediators.

Contact your local New Age practitioner for more information.

Don't be a loser - become a Juicer™!

This message was brought to you in cooperation with the friendly people at the Juicergy™ Corporation.
Juicergy™ - Empowering you through affirmative psychology since 2007.

Book review: "Foundations of Affirmative Psychology"

2007-12-31T00:02:00.000+01:00

Title: "Foundations of Affirmative Psychology: An Integrative Approach"
Author: Ira Banks, Ph.D.
Publisher: Juicergy™ University Press; First edition (December 1, 2007)
Hardcover: 613 pages

Society is in peril as never before. Climate change, the resurgence of global terrorism and the cutthroat consequences of globalization have all left a distinct imprint in our collective consciousness. People of all cultures have during the recent decades been using different offshoots of folk psychology to try to take control over their chaotic everyday lives. The arguably most popular of these branches have been the school of so-called affirmative psychology.
Because of the widespread use of affirmative psychology, its proponents have long been under attack by the psychiatric establishment, who among other things claims that the method, as it is being used today, is "unscientific, childish, and ultimately sprung out of superstition."

In the first book aimed both at the general public and academia, leading research psychiatrist Ira Banks presents the latest groundbreaking research of the young discipline. No stranger to controversy, Banks does not pull his punches: In the opening paragraph of the book, he fiercely attacks the "New Age snake oil salesmen" whom he claims have "hijacked and distorted the burgeoning science of affirmative thought to further their own dubious, often monetary, goals."
The first part of the book is wholly dedicated to razing to the ground the prevailing notions of how affirmative thought ought to be applied to everyday experience. The theories of Rhonda Byrne, author of the best-selling novel The Secret, among other woo, get a devastating beating. While rebutting the most prevalent ideas of affirmative psychology Banks successively lays a new, solid foundation by presenting much of the clinical research conducted by him and his team during the past three decades.
Chapter 5 presents, and vindicates the Banksian Law of Attraction, the fundamental idea of the field. Though in recent years subject to much academic criticism, the law has been shown to stand up to heavy scrutiny, which in turn has propelled the theory to new heights. Experts have drawn parallels to the establishment of Leon Festinger's theory of cognitive dissonance, saying that the Banksian law also may have merit in psychology and conjectures that its impact in social psychology will cause Festinger's theory to pale in comparison.

The second part of the book presents an "integrative approach" to applying the research findings to your life. This is where it gets really interesting. Beating a dead horse, Banks eloquently and repeatedly ridicules his New Age forbears' "simplistic and amazingly stupid" notions of affirmative thought, claiming that one cannot possibly produce tangible results if one does not take the limitations of affirmation into account. He then proceeds to state these limitations. In large, they can be said to be:
1. You can not wish something into, or out of, existence.
2. Positive though alone is not enough, you also need to act positively (affirmatively).
3. Guard heart from stone.

The bulk of the affirmation program is made up of different physical exercises (illustrations included, VHS tape available by order online) in combination with affirmatory gestures and thoughts. This reviewer has found these exercises extremely effective and helpful.
Throughout the book, the reader is encouraged to send money to an organization called "The Juicergy™ Corporation". Banks openly states that most of his research has been funded by this organization, and convincingly argues why his research not possibly could be biased in favor of the multinational conglomerate and their many rich products.
If you take a closer look at the seemingly shady Juicergy™ Corporation you will immediately realize that their cause is just and worth supporting. Therefore, this reviewer would also request the reader to send money to that very organization.

Summed up, Banks can be said to have made a fundamentally important contribution to science in general and psychology in particular, not to mention to humanity as a whole. Believe me, this book will turn the tide of your miserable life and help your integrative transformation into greatness. Buy it now. Success guaranteed!

This article was brought to you by the friendly people at the Juicergy™ Corporation. "It makes people rich!"
Juicergy™ - Empowering you through affirmative psychology since 2007.

This week's film noir quote: The Maltese Falcon (1941)

2007-08-24T16:42:00.000+02:00

Kasper Gutman: You're a close-mouthed man?
Sam Spade: Nah, I like to talk.
Kasper Gutman: Better and better. I distrust a close-mouthed man. He generally picks the wrong time to talk and says the wrong things. Talking's something you can't do judiciously, unless you keep in practice.
Kasper Gutman: Now, sir. We'll talk, if you like. I'll tell you right out, I am a man who likes talking to a man who likes to talk.
Sam Spade: Swell. Will we talk about the black bird?

News flash: Great Communicators In History

2007-08-19T01:26:00.000+02:00

It came as a terrifying shock to The Club that the nickname "The Great Communicator" had already, prior to 2006, been claimed by Ronald Wilson Reagan, the 40th President of The United States.
"The Inner Circle is extremely upset by this development and we are rallying our legal forces as we speak.", a spokesperson for The Club informed the press earlier this afternoon. He then continued: "We will do everything within our power to ensure the integrity of The Club. Hail Reed! Hail Libel! Long live the uprising!"

More information as this story unfolds.

Update (8/24): In large due to current trademark legislation The Club hereby withdraws any and all claims for the exclusive usage of the term "The Great Communicator."

This story was brought to you, in large, by the friendly people at the Juicergy™ Corporation. "Now that's one moneymaker!". Juicergy™ - Empowering you through affirmative psychology since 2007.

Ingmar Bergman 1918 - 2007

2007-07-30T14:45:00.001+02:00

Signs of Life

2007-07-02T22:44:00.000+02:00

The Bullshit Whisperer: A non-constructive ad hominem approach to animal communication

2007-05-06T22:22:00.000+02:00

Other articles from HARMONI-expo:
Introduction: A Trip Through The Human Mind
The New Time Energies and AuraTransformation™: A study on modern delusions and gullibility
The magic bullet of "classical" homeopathy
Revelations: Saint Germain and the Violet Flame
The Peril of Dark Energy Crystals
Exclusive for Treatise readers: Faith Healing Voucher Giveaway

Communication between humans and animals has been widely popularized by the media and in books and TV-shows, up to the point where it has gained a fair amount of legitimacy and assumed credibility in the face of a huge lack of positive evidence. I’m not referring to the verbal and non-verbal cues and commands that every animal owner use to communicate with their pets, but rather the concept of telepathically facilitating images and emotions – which was the topic of the lecture me and Mr. Libel attended. All animals, wild as well as domesticated, are allegedly able to communicate in this way.
I find it odd that telepathic communication between animal and human is more accepted than telepathy between two humans. I can’t really see the difference. Both are equally unfounded.

The male/female ratio at the expo was very skewed, with a much larger proportion of fat middle aged women than men. The few men there were most likely forced to accompany their spouses. Madness, just as food, tastes better with company it seems.
The cute wicca girls¹⁾ were also – much to my dismay – a minority, literary obscured by the herd of mindless housewives stampeding to get their future read and their fat therapeutically massaged by oriental girls with magic hands.
For this particular lecture we were painstakingly reminded of the imbalanced gender ratio: Except for the lecturer²⁾, a professional animal communicator, there was only one member of the male persuasion³⁾ in the room, me and Mr. Libel excluded. The rest were ugly women in their mid forties and their even more hideous daughters. And all of them with great hopes of learning how to read the minds of their little darlings. I feel quite sorry for the poor animals. Having such delusional masters is somewhat equal to having well-meaning, albeit disturbed, parents who suffer from the God complex and do their outmost control their offspring, obstructing the path to a normal, healthy and independent life. How would you like to have someone read your mind? Have these people no respect for the concept of privacy? I hate meddling imbeciles who stick their nose where it doesn’t belong.
Leave dog thoughts to the dogs and idiocy to the idiots.

One interesting tidbit the lecturer threw out was that you can communicate with animals remotely. He told us a story about a dog owner who had problems with her dog relieving itself indoors when no one was at home. This, it turns out, was caused by the mistress unintentionally sending the dog commands to urinate when she thought about taking the dog out for a walk whilst at work. Fancy that. The lecturer was far too prone to spew boring anecdotes, giving very little concrete advice and no testable evidence what so ever. Most of what he said was just irrelevant fluff. I can’t be bothered with listing all his little stories here. Just think of any stereotype about animal behavior and characteristics and project that on a human mind, preferably that of a child, and you’ll get the picture of how animals are, according to him.
He confirmed that cats are egoists from his vast experience of talking to them. Hell, I too talk to cats, but I've never expected them to answer.
Oh, and animals also encounter life crises. Remember that when your hamster refuses to speak with you, it’s because it is going through a rough period of its life – probably because you freak it out and won’t give it enough space to grow as a hamster. You limit its personal development by constraining it to your narrow view of what a hamster should be, you insensitive asshole.

Having taken riding lessons in my youth I am acquainted with various kinds of horse bitches⁴⁾ and can spot them with fairly good accuracy. Right next to us we had a prime example of one: Pony tail, ugly jeans with the belt far above the navel, disproportionally wide hips, in dire need of a dental plan, shrill voice and a face only a horse could love⁵⁾. To make matters worse, the lecturer allowed her to open her vile mouth and speak.

Also: Auras. No weird belief is complete without one. If you can read auras you have an advantage in animal communication. By studying it you can spot chronic diseases as well as the animal’s general mood. Pretty much what you can tell from the human aura too, or so I’ve been told.

We were given a word of warning concerning the messages pets can send out and the hazards of misinterpreting them. If you, for example, were to pick up images from a dog where the dog is regularly beaten by a human you shouldn’t wildly go and accuse its owner of animal abuse. Keep in mind that someone else might be the culprit; do not automatically assume that the owner is guilty of the crime.
Yeah, I guess those who label themselves animal communicators would get a bad reputation if just any riff-raff started making such claims wantonly. Those claims do, after all, affect people’s lives in a potentially serious way. That kind of attention would force practitioners into acknowledging that not just anyone is suited for the task, thus loosing the ability to say that anyone can do it. The target group of their seminars and courses are the bottom of the weird belief food chain. They must be stupid enough to have faith in what they’re told and accept the theories without any shred of evidence. The problem is that with that kind of stupidity you can’t assure yourself that you’re not going to get a huge bunch of idiots acting in ultimately self-destructive ways, defaming the profession and destroying whatever little credibility you’ve managed to build. On the other hand, you can’t employ intelligent and reasonable people⁶⁾, because they laugh at you. Or if they’re polite, they’ll smile and nod and hope for you weird person to go away as soon as possible.
There are levels of sanity even among crazy people. In this case – the same goes for any weird belief-franchise, by the way – you don’t want the worst loonies as colleagues. This narrows your selection down to those stupid enough to accept your bullshit as truth but who still has a sense of self-preservation and the charlatans.

After about 30 minutes of wearying bullshit we finally got down to business: An actual exercise in animal communication! That’s what we all had been waiting for. We were instructed to close our eyes and relax, trying to reach a meditative state of mind. After that he said to visualize the animal and project ourselves into it for the purpose of finally merging with it. Then, when you are one with the animal, the communication can commence! Apart from sending and receiving images (since animals don’t use words, obviously) you can now feel with all the animal’s senses and perceive any injuries the animal might have. It is also possible to share thoughts, emotions and messages.
I bet many ladies in the audience found the experience erotic. It sounds like furry vorarephilia/phagophilia porn to me. Yiff in hell, sick fucks.

The good news? Anyone can do it! If you fail it’s OK, since not everyone is an expert. But with training you can improve your skills… For a small fee, of course. And only as long as you don't cause a disturbance.

The bad news? No possible way for external validation or falsification. A good thing for the True Believer since it also means that no one can disprove it. It’s so much easier to hold on to your cherished beliefs if no one can prove you wrong. It doesn’t matter much that you can’t prove yourself right either, doesn’t it?

¹⁾Not quite as interesting as goth chicks, but still doable (as long as they’re not too chubby).
²⁾Who was gay.
³⁾Probably also gay.
⁴⁾From Urban Dictionary:

1. horse bitch
1. A girl who is obsessed with her horse, thus ignoring all those who a) do not own a horse, b) ride a horse, c) want to ride/own a horse

"That fucking horse bitch totally blew me off."

⁵⁾Though only platonically.
⁶⁾Unless they lack a decent moral standard and start doing it for the profit, knowing it’s all bullshit.

Exclusive for Treatise readers: Faith Healing Voucher Giveaway

2007-05-06T15:30:00.001+02:00

The Peril of Dark Energy Crystals

2007-05-04T19:40:00.000+02:00

Revelations: Saint Germain and the Violet Flame

2007-04-21T17:50:00.000+02:00

"I AM a being of violet flame!
I AM the purity God desires!"
- Saint Germain's violet-flame decree

Negative karma can be a real bummer. It's a nasty inhibitor that can cause 'spiritual death' and works just overall negatively on your Divine Self.
Apart from karma, another concept of religious thinking widely embraced by New Age groups is that of reincarnation. Since all these, shall I say, heathen traditions, are rejected by mainstream Christianity, I found it interesting to suddenly stand face to face with a woman who claimed to have successfully integrated both karma and reincarnation into the Christian belief system.
Our initially rather awkward conversation quickly catapulted into a warm and open one as soon as I asserted my Christian beliefs. She too, was a Christian, she claimed. When I tactfully took objection to Jesus' supposed reincarnation teaching (that's what caught my attention in the first place), saying it was nowhere to be found in the Bible, we were all set for a long and interesting conversation.

The woman represented the religious body The Summit Lighthouse. The organisation was founded in 1958 by Messenger Mark L. Prophet, who in preparing for this had been rigorously trained for several lifetimes by the Ascended Masters.¹⁾ According to his teachings, he has given people all over the world the opportunity to "discover the limitless powers of their Inner Self." But first things first: Who are the Ascended Masters?

The Ascended Masters²⁾
The Ascended Masters (AM) are spiritual being that once lived on earth but now serve as guides for those seeking to reunite with the Spirit. The seven most important of the AM are called the Chohans ("lord" or "master").

The seven Chohan, each with their own ray, are:
El Morya, 1st ray of power, goodwill and faith, Lord Lanto, 2nd ray of wisdom, understanding and judgement, Paul the Venetian, 3rd ray of divine love, compassion and charity, Serapis Bay, 4th ray of purity, discipline, etc., Hilarion, 5th ray of truth and healing, Nada, 6th ray of peace, and last but not least: Saint Germain, 7th ray of freedom, alchemy and transmutaion.
Then there's Maha Chohan ("the Great Lord"), the hierarch of the seven Chohan, who teaches how to integrate these seven rays through the eighth ray.

If the Chohans aren't for you, other AM standing ready to take your prayers include Archangels, Jesus Christ and various Buddhas. I tried to act shocked as I pointed out that this was pretty blasphemous, given my allegedly strict Christian view. She countered my accusation by enlightening me that Jesus did spend considerable time in India learning about things such as karma and reincarnation, something 'the official story' would have you doubt.³⁾ Guess I stand corrected.

Karma and the Violet Flame
Spiritual light, the teaching goes, manifests as seven rays, each with a specific colour. Saint Germain's violet ray is a life-transforming tool with the help of which we can transmute (purify) negative karma. But before elaborating any further on the Violet Flame; there are, acording to their website, three ways to balance negative karma:⁴⁾

"Just live it through." Not desirable since past misdeeds not atoned for have a tendency to make life hard.
Perform good deeds. This is the conventional way, as practised by most Dharmic religions.
The Violet Flame - the third, and not surprisingly - fastest way of balancing karma.

Just a quick side note: Together with the belief that everything in the universe is somehow strangely interconnected a great equaliser such as the notion of karma does a terribly good job at giving easy answers to hard questions, such as why bad things happen to good people.

So what is the Violet Flame? After centuries of having kept the secret for himself, Saint Germain finally appeared to Guy Ballard in 1930, giving him the first teachings of the Violet Flame and hence starting the preparations of mankind to enter the age of Aquarius.⁵⁾
Since the nature of the Violet Flame can be pretty hard to understand, they use an analogy: The Violet Flame works much like soap - it cleanses the space between the atom's nucleus and its electrons (electron shell(s)?) from "negative debris", transforming it into "pure light-energy."
Embracing the Violet Flame supposedly then removes the negative energy and karma that clogs our spiritual and physical bodies (the other two bodies being the astral body and the etheric body.) As any student of acupuncture and yoga knows, "optimum health comes when spiritual energy is flowing freely through our bodies." It hence works to counteract permature 'spiritual death.' Good stuff.

Notes on different types of relationships
Like any good religious movement worth its name, The Summit Lighthouse promises its followers deeper understanding of the eternally human areas of concern that are relationships and love. There are three major types of romantic relationships that contribute to the wholeness of people.⁶⁾
The first and strongest connection is the Twin Flames, who were created together and shares a common and unique destiny. There is a masculine/feminine polarity to this and although the souls will spend some lifetimes apart, the "tie is eternal."
The second type relationship is the soul mates'. Soul mates complement each other in pursuing the same goals or in developing the same chakras.
The third is the karmic relationship. This connection is often of importance for "achieving self-mastery on the spiritual path."

Concluding remarks
Although none of this makes any sense to a person with a naturalistic wordview, one still has to appreciate the enormous amount of mind-bending creativity that went into creating this belief system. This is what happens when you let a beautiful metaphor - 'the cleansing flame' - go haywire and take on a life of its own.

After about fifteen minutes of what quickly became a one-sided conversation I started, despite my rewarding acting skills - to get extremely bored. Even though I sincerely try, flimflam can only keep my attention for so long. So after quickly wrapping everything up, taking a couple of brochures and promising to consider joining her harmless cult, I was on my merry way to whatever the expo had in store for me next.

¹⁾ The Summit Lighthouse - Messengers
²⁾ The Summit Lighthouse - Ascended Masters
³⁾ Summit University Bookstore - Reincarnation: The Missing Link in Christianity
⁴⁾ The Summit Lighthouse - Karma
⁵⁾ The Summit Lighthouse - Violet Flame
⁶⁾ The Summit Lighthouse - Soul Mates

The magic bullet of "classical" homeopathy

2007-04-20T00:57:00.002+02:00

Other articles from HARMONI-expo:
Introduction: A Trip Through The Human Mind
The New Time Energies and AuraTransformation™: A study on modern delusions and gullibility

Let's go back over two hundred years in time, to the time before germ theory, penicillin and vaccination. Much of the current medical treatments are still in large derived from Hippocrates' vitalistic principle that deceases are caused by inbalances in the four bodily humors (blood, yellow bile, black bile and phlegm).
A visit to the doctor is rather than cure you more likely to kill you, since the main methods of treating these inbalances are bloodletting and the distribution of laxatives and/or emetics.

ENTER Samuel Hahnemann, founder of homeopathic medicine. I will omit the history lesson, but it was basically revealed to him that a substance that causes a healthy person to exhibit a particular set of symptoms will in turn, if excessively diluted, cure a sick person showing the very same symptoms. The substance is diluted so seriously that scarcely a molecule remains in the dose when it is distributed to the patient.
Needless to say, giving magical water to a patient ought to be more beneficial than for example draining her of blood. It must be granted that not dying at the hands of your doctor sure has some appeal.

We now return to the twenty-first century. In light of the success of modern medicine with its randomised, double-blinded and placebo-controlled studies, do these pre-scientific notions of wishy-washy magical thinking still persist? Turns out they do. Homeopathy is still alive and quacking.

As a consequence of a hard night's drinking, me and Mr. Reed arrived a couple of minutes late to the lecture, entitled nothing but "Improve your health with classical homeopathy."
As we entered the room our fears of having to stand due to a shortage of seats dissipated. Apart from the lecturer, a woman about 50 years old, the room contained approximately five other persons, all women in their forties.

After a rather pleasant introduction the lecturer quickly started to rail against the government's suppression of her wonderful discipline. The specific piece of Swedish legislation popularly referred to as "the quackery law" caught most of the woman's frantic barrage. The law, in short, prohibits unlicensed medical practitioners (such as herself) from treating children under the age of eight and pregnant women.
It also makes clear that cancer and diabetes should be treated by real doctors. The lecturer contended that both these conditions have been successfully cured by homeopaths in other European countries. She did not present any sort of evidence for this claim, so I guess we'll have to take her word for it.

She launced the next salvo against the sinister vaccination conspiracy. Vaccination supposedly weakens us and immobilises our immune system, making us fair game for just about any infection you can imagine.
One woman who wanted to know how to undo the horrors of injecting a (for all practical purposes) dead virus into her kids' bodies got the disheartening answer that the process couldn't be reversed. What is done is done. Even the homeopath admitted that, although she was quick to offer homeopathic treatments for mitigating the effects of said vaccination.
The wonderful thing about homeopathy is that it can cure everything, should you not arrive "too late."

The combined oral contraceptive pill too, she argued, is another method the government uses to keep the populace (women in this case) under Big Pharma's thumb. Not only is it the cause of mental illness but also numerous other maladies, all stemming from those scary hormones. Just for the record: No one is claiming that taking "the Pill" is without risk - all real medical interventions have side-effects.
This was also the only time during the lecture that she addressed us directly, saying something like "Aren't you lucky, guys?" I was terrified and struggled not to meet Medusa's gaze, lest I be struck down by her fury. So Mr. Reed and I just smiled and nodded, purposely avoiding to look at each other knowing full well that it would have resulted in us bursting into laughter.

As I left the lecture, I was more enraged than amused. To my mind, the whole experience was almost indistinguishable from an episode of "The Twilight Zone." For the past half hour we had been fed the most outlandish medical claims I had heard for at least a day. I also feared not just that people believed her (vainly, since they were there because they wanted to believe her), but also that they would heed her call and waste precious time, money, and even lives on age-old superstitions.

Tempus Fugit

2007-04-11T23:46:00.000+02:00

This post commemorates the 1st anniversary of the founding of The Club and the creation of its official voice, The Treatise on Humankind. During this past year we have with great joy watched The Treatise develop. However, as time went by The Club's members soon came to realise that we were too hot for our current host.
The Club therefore decided to appoint a select group of member(s) from The Club's R&D department to secretly start drawing up plans for a new blog design.

The improved Treatise, that henceforth is to be known by the name The Jacksberry, will be hosted on a LAMP server, code-named The Honeymaker. Due to unforseen hardware issues and a small planning glitch, the grand opening had to be postponed, but now we feel confident that the time of migration is nigh.
We would also like to take the opportunity to thank our loyal readers and have them prepare for what is yet to come. The second year of the new era begins now.