The Flip Side

Resurrection, may be?

2025-12-22T11:13:00.000-05:00

I am thinking about moving to another blogging platform gradually and eventually.

However, I noticed that there are some unfinished posts in my drafts. So, I am planning to complete and publish them one by one before moving over completely.

Keep reading and if any thought crosses your mind while going through the posts, please drop a comment.

I would love to know the feedback while I attempt to resume writing in the New Year!

मृत्यु

2021-12-09T11:29:00.001-05:00

मृत्यु-

जाने वाले का अंतिम आभास

शोकाकुल पर सतत आघात

Niagra Falls

2020-07-29T13:29:00.001-04:00

Like all the tourists entering the USA, Niagara falls was on my to-go list.
And on one of the days when Mr. was practicing for his Driving Test, we decided to take a long route - all the way to one of the most beautiful scenic attractions- Niagara falls.

The New York side of the falls was about 400 miles from our place, an approx. 7.5 hrs. drive without breaks. Considering the relatively new experience behind the wheels and the difference in driving rules from India, we decided to go easy. We had a good night's sleep the day before, had breakfast and packed sandwiches for lunch. Then picked the rental car around 12 and started on our first long drive trip from Manhattan. We took plenty of breaks and finally reached our hotel in Rochester around 8 PM.

It was a Sunday in September so the weather was fine but the crowd at the falls was crazy!
I realized during the scores of road trips that we have done since, that there will be an overwhelming no. of Desi crowds at tourist places, especially if it is a long weekend or American holiday break. Crazy Number! So, we now avoid these holidays especially with a toddler because the whole experience will just go waste while waiting and finding a good spot without people photo-bombing all around.

Kids definitely don't have that patience!

Anyway, since we had driven all the way, the excitement of the first long trip kept me going through the scorching heat of 2.5 hrs. waiting in line for the tickets and then to the actual starting point of the boats that take you for the round to see the falls from close distance.

At one point, my stamina gave up and I fainted. Well, almost. Husband talked to the security person and requested for us to chip back in the queue once I felt fine. He agreed but there went those 20 mins of our very packed day. As soon as I felt a little better we joined the line and waited for our turn to hop on the boat. Even before that, the view from that small walk to the elevator that takes you down to the fall was so refreshing that there was no sign of fatigue from a long day!

Then came the boat and the journey to one of the greatest natural wonders of the world started. The feel of water on your face from the fall makes it the experience of another world. It felt like I was floating in water clouds. The sound of the falls helps lower the noise (excitement filled) of the crowd around you . You must capture the view and its enormity inside you, not just in the cameras.

I even saw the first super clear rainbow of my life!

We finished the maid of the mist trail and headed back to the elevator.
Took a few pictures on our way back and covered a few nearby places from the trip adviser list.

It was getting dark and I was getting super hungry for the meal-food. Snacks, though we still had plenty left, couldn't fix my craving for a real meal. So we hit the road and were back to our room in about an hour. As soon as I touched the bed, I realized how tired I was!! There was no energy or excitement left to explore food at that time. We just ordered dinner from the room service menu and called it a day.

ज़ख्म

2020-01-06T13:38:00.000-05:00

वक़्त -
मरहम है सबसे बड़ा
सुनते आये हमेशा से
कहा भी कई बार
कइयों से

फिर खुद जी कर जाना

वक़्त-
भरता नहीं हर ज़ख्म
कई बार बस
सीखा देता है जीना
पुरानों के साथ
जब हमें झेलने होते है

नए ज़ख्म !

अयोध्या

2019-11-10T15:39:00.050-05:00

The honorable Supreme Court of India has now given the verdict on the much awaited Ayodhya Ram JanmBhumi case. And, as believed by millions of Hindus worldwide, the court has declared that the disputed site was indeed a Temple, destructing which another structure was erected and was called Babari Masjid.

This structure was again destroyed in Dec, 1992 in an attempt to reclaim the original Temple site.

Proceeding through the hierarchy of Indian judiciary, the case has been finally given a conclusion after 27 long years of countless hearings and apparent detailed study of history and geography by the personnel involved.

I don't intend to dissect this very sensitive topic/verdict. Although, it does bring lots of emotions and memories back. My heart and eyes can tell.

This topic strikes a personal chord with me as the very first memory that I can recall is the image of my father performing aarti(prayer with diya) wearing crisp white dhoti and later walking in khadau(wooden slippers) on an unpaved road. Another glimpse, I remember, is of a couple of monkeys running close to where we were setting up our bedding for the night and pulling the stop cork from our khaki air-pillow!

Maa tells me this place was Ayodhya, where my parents took me when I was around 2.5 years old!

Today as I turn another year older, I reflect on the happy moments of my life, the places I have visited and the influences that have shaped me as a person.

( I am sure all of us, at least once, have tried to recall the earliest clear memory from our life; haven't you?)

Naturally, one of my most treasured memories is the glimpse of this first travel/pilgrimage experience cum historic site visit.

Now, I am not a very religious person. Ritualistic, even less.

Still, today I lit a Diya not just for its aesthetics but also for the beautiful memories it connects me to.

🙏🏼

Role

2019-10-02T11:07:00.000-04:00

Who are you?

The ma, the wife, the sister n' daughter - all that you see

in the Lady next door.

The Poet, the Quant with hunger galore.

A passionate whole.

A wandering soul.

Who am I?

Your next Read.

My next Role.

Game

2019-09-19T11:18:00.000-04:00

LET US PLAY TO WIN

After all -

There is
so much to enjoy,
so much to learn,
so much to grow,
so much to rise to,

so much to say,
so much to hear,
so much to

fall in love with,

so much to fight
for and with!

~ SD

पंख

2019-07-08T15:33:00.008-04:00

नन्हे चूजे ने पंख फड़फड़ाये

और फिर

वो भी उड़ गया

घोंसलों में घर

बन तो जाता है

बस नहीं पाता |

सागर

2019-05-13T15:05:00.000-04:00

कुछ बूंदें,
यूँ कह कर के
मत मांगो;

मैं देता हूँ
लो तुम पूरा सागर ले लो |

मैं विष पीकर जीता आया हूँ

......फिर जी लूँगा

ले लो,
तुम अमृत की गागर ले लो

कुछ बूंदें क्यूं

सागर ले लो |

घोर अमां आई है ?
आई रहने दो

ओह, कालिमा छाई है ?
छाई रहने दो

चांद नहीं है आसमान में ?

अहे, चांदनी से क्या होगा ....

अहे, चांदनी से क्या होगा ,

मैं पी लेता हूँ अंधकार भी

लो, तुम प्रखर प्रभाकर ले लो

कुछ बूंदें क्यूं

सागर ले लो;

कुछ बूंदें क्यूं

सागर ले लो |

~ SD

Red

2019-02-01T13:15:00.002-05:00

Red- his favorite color.
I don't remember how, over the time, it has become my favorite color as well. There was a time, not too long ago, when all I had were Blacks/Whites/Grays or their combination shades in my closet. Now, whenever I shop in the mall or online, Red is the one color I look for and instantly approve.
The other day I was looking at my wardrobe and I saw some 4-5 clothes in the same shade of Red. Given that I am someone who only keeps around 8-9 clothes at a time for regular/seasonal wear, it was quite a share.

And not just clothes, general stuff around my house (kitchen utensils included), the decor etc is like a theme- of him. It conveyed something so strongly.
I realized how I am trying to compensate his absence by keeping him with myself all the time in my mind/heart where I am subconsciously doing smallest/subtle things the way he would have liked- choosing colors he would have picked.

Love shows up in so many ways and Longing - even more.

होना, ना-होना

2019-01-29T23:10:00.000-05:00

मेरा होना
तुम्हारे ना-होने के साथ
ख़त्म होता जा रहा है |

कितनी बार
पगलायी सी उम्मीद करती हूँ -
तुम्हारे हाथ आकर रोक लेंगे
कि बस
अब समेटो ख़ुद को
उठो और जियो

मेरे बिना ही |

कूच

2018-08-16T12:49:00.000-04:00

मृत्यु सबको आती है

जीते बहुत हैं

याद चंद किये जाते हैं

और पीड़ा ..

पीड़ा है सिर्फ तुमसे

तुम्हारे पारगमन से

तुम्हारी कूच से

15th August

2018-08-15T13:02:00.000-04:00

Just felt like watching an Indian Flag Hoisting ceremony ...

Even though I am a self proclaimed - more patriotic than many, it always was a boring event for me back in the days.

I lived in a neighborhood where at least 4 schools(including mine of course) were within a distance of clear loudspeaker sound. I was always repelled by the high volumes, irrespective of the nicest melody being played.
Also, no matter how enthusiastically I practiced in bathroom, I would never think it was good enough for the stage and mic! So days like these mostly started with a negative undertone for me.

To my relief, the ceremonies used to be over by noon or so and we were home around lunchtime. Sure enough there was some Karma/Tiranga/Shaheed type movie running on DD. So the rest of the day was the real freedom and fun for the kids that we were :).

The best part was - four Boondi laddus in primary school to one tiger biscuit packet in secondary to snacks in college.

Never thought I would miss this but here I am!

Happy Independence Day :-).

Motherhood

2018-03-21T11:52:00.000-04:00

When I dropped her at day care today, she didn't cry. And even though I wanted her not to cry every time I dropped her there in the past, I didn't quite like it when this finally happened.

Today I realized that every time she cried going away from me , it gave me a sense of fulfillment.
Of course I felt shattered watching those tears rolling down her cheeks but the fact that she didn't like being away from her mom even when there were plenty of fun activities going around, just gave the mom-me an emotional boost.

However, today was a leap. It dreaded me for the day she would go to school, college and then someday she would move out and explore the world on her own.

Will I ever be ready for it?

#motherhood

बसंत

2018-03-21T10:21:00.000-04:00

बारिश की धूप
गर्मियों वाली हवा

ना पूरा सुकून
ना मुकम्मल सज़ा

मखमल में लिपटी
खैरातों का अन्तर्द्वन्द

समझेगा शायद ये
बर्फ की चादर में लिपटा हुआ बसंत

Wanderer

2018-03-04T12:43:00.000-05:00

When you cant solace

You distract

And distract more

When you cant bridge

You distance

And distance more

When you stop believing

You trust

And trust more

The thing about these
Pauses...
Dilemmas...
Incompleteness...

Is ...

You wander
All The More.

बे-ताल

2017-12-14T21:01:00.000-05:00

रास्ते
ना याद हो तो
गुम हो जाया करते है

मंज़िलें
दिखती ना हो तो
थक ही जाया करते है

आँख
अपनी बंद हो तो
अँधेरे ही दिखते है

दो कदम
बे-ताल* हो तो
लड़खड़ा ही पड़ते है

*बे-ताल - out of sync

Alignment

2017-08-26T14:05:00.000-04:00

Alright, you will be
may not be the same,
still need to be around
and keep up the flame.

there will be dark nights
and then some bright days,
might miss crucial tracks
but can still find ways.

the motive is crushed?
create another;
Align Yourself
and see the winner.

पति

2016-10-18T16:42:00.000-04:00

तुम्हारी भक्ति नहीं करती
क्योंकि तुम भगवान नहीं हो
प्यार करती हूँ
... पति हो

तुम पर श्रद्धा नही
तुम कोई संत तो नही
प्यार है
... पति हो

तुम्हारा आदर-सम्मान ?
मेरे उम्र-दराज़ अभिभावक हो ?
प्यार ...
... पति हो

पूजा क्यों करूं
परमेश्वर कब बने
हाँ प्यार करूंगी
... पति हो |

*I wrote this one few years back for one of those Karwachauth and feminism discussions .
I feel this 'set up' of Karwachauth is regressive and patriarchal for those women who follow it under some social, religious or family pressure even if personally they have no interest in doing such things.
Although for ladies who love that bridal dress up once in a while, enjoy all the pampering they receive on this day and cherish the bond when their husbands also observe fast along with them, its a celebration!
Well, mine have been :).

मेरी तुम।

2016-09-21T20:36:00.000-04:00

वक़्त ठहरा के रखा है
तुम्हारे लिये ...
साँस के बाद एक और
.... साँस रखी है

तुम धड़कती हो मेरे अंदर
और मेरा दिन गुज़रता है
तुमसे हर बात ही यूँ
बाँध रखी है

जादू हो न माया हो तुम
और ना मैं जन्नत में हूँ
हर दर्द सह बस तुम्हे पाने की
आस रखी है

तुम हँसोगी तो
फिर आँगन फूल बरसेंगे
वो घर बनाने को दीवारें मैंने
तैयार रखी है

कभी सोचा न था
कि सोचूंगी तुम्हे इस हद
किस्मत ने भी बस अपनी ही
ठान रखी है

खाली

2016-08-11T16:14:00.000-04:00

खाली सा मन

गिनता सबके कदम

अपनी दुनिया के

दूर वाले कोने में

बैठा, तकता हरदम

तुम आओगे तब

तय करेंगे रास्ते

उजले - मद्धम

तुमसे ही जुड़ी है

अब हर सांस

इस जनम।

Trip to London - wrap up

2016-08-07T11:34:00.001-04:00

Continued from Part 2 ...

We did visit a few places like history museum by ourselves.

Coming back to food, London definitely has enough places to fill your stomach as well as satisfy your Indian taste buds. Here are a couple of interesting décor pieces, I clicked in one of the restaurants.

About architecture, what more can I say that has not been said before? Mmmm... probably nothing. You just

have to watch it yourself, experience it to get the feeling. Its enriching.

Big Ben

Buckingham palace

Madame T.

After being utterly disappointed by NYC's Madame Tussaud's, we decided to give it a skip here in London. However, later in the day we did think about visiting it since it was The Original one but then we were too tired to go back.

Once we hit the bed, it took us only minutes to fall asleep. All we had in mind was not to miss our flight back home, next day.

The trip was really exhausting but it was worth every bit of it.
Totally Enjoyyyed It. :-)

Trip to London - Part 2

2016-07-30T10:46:00.000-04:00

The next day started with a lavish English breakfast.

Breakfast is one thing I love the most about travel :) because unlike other meals of the day, you can find decent veg breakfast options almost everywhere. At least I do.

Though I wouldn't call myself a foodie, the absence of quality edible food or delay in its arrival does change my mood/tone. Well, most of the time :).

After a fulfilling breakfast, we were all set to explore London.

We had to plan the agenda for what all to visit and how. Options were - taking a bus tour or do it ourselves. Like I mentioned in Part 1, a few landmarks were within walk-able distance. So, we decided to skip the bus for the first day.

We started the day with watching the famous Horse Guards Parade in the city of Westminster. The last time I had watched a horse with a rider(city police) was in Mysore, one of the better maintained historic cities of India.

This ceremony of changing The Queen's Life Guard is definitely a sight not to miss. Fascinating!

Among the things that were captivating in central London, the boat tour of the river Thames ranks on the higher side. As much as I distance myself from too-much-water .. the night-light and mesmerizing view of the Tower Bridge kept me glued to the side seats of the boat. The front seats were still too much for my water fear/disgust.
Let's just say I am not a beach person or a ocean/river person for that matter.
A water fountain or waterfall? May be :).

The mid november London was pretty cold. Colder than what we had packed for. We did get an idea of London winter through available means but the weather forecasts cannot give accurate data for more than 8-10 days in advance.

So, we were stuck with feeling cold while still enjoying London winter. To make it worse we also had rain forecasts for next couple of days.

Had it not been for the weather we would have visited more places on our own. All hail (hell) to London weather we were left with no option but to go for the Bus-Tour now.

During our bus ride, I realized how much could I relate to those tourists I used to see back in Manhattan/NYC. Tourists probably resent to people who actually live at such picturesque places. (May be not; I somewhat did :P)
I mean, they have to come all the way from their respective homes, around the world, for just a few days of experience and long bills of travel/lodging expenses!

TBC ....

Trip to London - Part 1

2016-07-09T21:03:00.000-04:00

Since a few months now, I wanted to be more regular with blogging especially because I happened to have some content to write about and didn't have to force my thoughts into a blog post. I just don't have that thing in me! I cant force myself to sit and write just for the sake of it. The topic should occur to me; the words should drive me.
I realize and I read it everywhere that one needs be more regular in one's blogging world most importantly to improve the blogging skills( I definitely need that :)).But off late I got busy with things, I will update later about, and had to take a back seat.
Well, I am still going to be around :-).

This one was long due.
I had drafted some of the parts, mostly the key things, during the trip itself. And now, when I found some time to write, this one felt like to be prioritized before I forget the links to give a finishing touch to those drafts. Yeah, I have a very selective memory. I remember certain things/incidents (even after decades) like its carved on the stones but forget most of the others like it was written on a beach sand.

So lets start. The trip was for a week, a short one according to me. To add to that, it was a much colder London than what we thought it would be when we packed for the trip. Anyway, we did enjoy the untimely rain that caused the sudden drop in temperature but then we were not adequately prepared (clothing wise) so we could go out only when the weather allowed so with our lot.

We stayed in Haymarket Hotel in Central London. Ours was a typical British styled, cozy and elegant room. The place was perfect for tourists. Many landmarks were at a walking distance. The architecture of the surroundings dragged me straight to the history books. Each and every building around that area had a class and antique touch to it. What soothed my mind/heart along with my eyes was the fact that it was not made up to picture a theme; the built was all original and brilliant!
There was so much to cover around our hotel area itself that we decided we will wait for the suitable weather for the city tour.

After resting the first day, we started with the Trafalgar Square, which was just a couple of blocks away.
We were on an early morning walk when suddenly a gentleman stopped us to not cross a certain not-drawn boundary. It was then that we realized the camera and crew around - there was some shooting going on. The area was vacated and there were a couple of dressed up actors. Based on their attires and lights' setup, it looked like some period feature shoot to us. It was my first live shoot watching experience.
Although having lived in Manhattan for a couple of years, I did come across many chances when some shooting was scheduled nearby but by the time we used to know of it , the area used to get too crowded to see anything. This one being a very early morning shoot, didn't have much crowd/audience to disturb.
I was so excited to see how things happen that we stayed there for a while . We curiously observed all the takes/retakes, makeup/touch-up, props, director's instructions, camera angles, dialogue recitals etc. The actors certainly have a very creative and fun world :).

We managed to click this picture before we were requested not to take any photos.

We then came back to our room to have breakfast and plan the rest of the things.

to be continued...

Maasi banaya aapne :)

2016-06-18T22:37:00.000-04:00

hello?
haan beta lakshmi aayi hain!
sach? :D
haan... baad me baat karte hai.

All smiling, I put the receiver back.
I was jumping with joy and didn't notice the filmy dialogue Mom just made. I realized it a few mins later while repeating the wonderful news in my head. Really Mamma? She surely had watched a lot of Hindi movies, I told myself.
Moreover its her first time as a Grandma, I can understand her excitement and nervousness. She probably couldn't think of her own words instantly.

The little one was going to be the first kid of our next generation and somehow the family had an intuition that it would be a Girl. So, I was ready with the name - Pari. There were so many names coming from everybody, but mine was the favorite. Yeah, I know its a very common name now but back in 2003, it was nowhere. I heard Pari the second time in a serial, which happened 3-4 months later. And, there I had struggled through months to find a beautiful and unique name for the doll who would call me Maasi .I got to hear it a few months later but the sound was totally worth the wait!
Maasi, coming from those cute little lips through few tiny teeth, made my eyes twinkle with early mist followed by a few warm drops. She was angelic. It was sheer bliss.
When Mom used to massage her, she would sing "Pahle to main mommy thi ..Naani banaya aapne". Oh she brought so much fun in our lives :).

How I suddenly thought of writing about her?

Well, just few weeks back it struck me that her birthday was approaching and she will enter into her teens this year. Couldn't believe so many years have passed already ..still feels like yesterday when we went to hospital to meet her for the very first time! I haven't been very good at handling infants so I would wait for her to sleep and then cuddle her :-)

How time flies!
Now, she is already trained in classical and contemporary dance. A talented performer, she is a part of almost every dance program happening around. At 10, she choreographed her dance for my wedding-Sangeet. Super cute it was!
Here is a pic of her(right most) with her dance group.

Birthday special tight hug and lots of love -- Maasi
God Bless You.