The Unlimited Blog

owner

2009-10-06T19:26:00.001+05:30

The unknown resides opposite the strict plant.

Benefits of using Zennioptical.com

2009-07-22T14:10:00.004+05:30

ZenniOptical.com Sells Stylish Prescription Glasses Online. You will find huge selection of frames, with single vision lens, sunsensor (potochromic)lens, tinted sunglasses lens, bifocal lens and progressive lens. The Range starts from $ 8 Rx eyeglasses. The Secret to Zenni’s Low Prices is that they sell only their own manufactured frames direct to the customer, with no middlemen and virtually no advertising budget. Using the latest modern materials, manufacturing and marketing systems, they bring their product direct from our factories to you. With the popularity they getting by providing eyeglasses as low price with a wide range, the news have Zenni Optical on TV!!!. Recently one the customer said High Five to Zenni Optical seems like he was totally satisfied with its quality service and product.

Man raped by an Elephant

2008-12-09T14:08:00.000+05:30

A man goes to a doctor and says "What shall I do? I've just been raped by an elephant!" The doctor tells him to bend over so he can have a look at his ass. "That's funny!" He says "your asshole is 10 inches wide! I thought elephants only had thin long dicks?" The man says "Yeah but he fingered me first!"

Twenty bucks for a blow job

2008-12-08T12:10:00.000+05:30

A young man went up to his father and asked him, "Can I have twenty bucks for a blow job?" His father said, "I don't know. Are you any good?"

God teaching Adam about making love

2008-12-07T13:40:00.004+05:30

One day God and Adam were walking the garden. God told Adam that it was time to populate the Earth. "Adam, you can start by kissing Eve." Adam looks puzzled at God, "Lord, what is a kiss?". God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and kissed her. A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord! That was great! What's next?" "Adam, I now want you to caress Eve." Puzzled again he asks, "Lord, what is caress?" God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and caressed her. A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord that was even better than a kiss! What's next?" "Here is what gets the deed done. I now want you to make love to Eve." Puzzled yet again, "Lord, what is make love?" asked Adam. God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush. A few seconds later, Adam returned and asked, "Lord, what is a headache?"

Lady with bruises on thighs visiting doctor

2008-12-07T13:40:00.003+05:30

A lady went to her doctor for a check-up. When asked how she got the bruises on the outside of her thighs, she explained that she got them from having sex. The doctor then told her she would have to change positions until the bruises healed. She replied "Oh doctor, I can't... my dog's breath is awful!"

Wife putting newspaper notice after husbands death

2008-12-07T13:40:00.001+05:30

When her husband passed away, the wife put the usual death notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonorrhoea. Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhoea, not gonorrhoea." Replied the widow, "Yes, I know that he died of diarrhoea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit that he really was."

Businessman and secretary overcome by passion

2008-12-07T13:39:00.001+05:30

A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, go to his house for an early afternoon quickie. "Don't worry," he assures her, "my wife is out of town on a business trip, so there's no risk." As one thing leads to another, the woman reaches into her purse and suddenly gasps, "We have to stop! I forgot to bring birth control!" "No problem," he replies, "I'll get my wife's diaphragm." After a few minutes of searching, he returns to the bedroom in a fury. "That witch!" he exclaims. "She took it with her! I always knew she didn't trust me!

Mother finding condom in daughters room

2008-12-07T13:36:00.000+05:30

A mother walks into her daughters room holding a condom in her hand, "I found this while cleaning your room today.... Are you sexually active?" To which the daughter replies, "No, I just lay there.

Zoo Book

2008-12-07T13:35:00.001+05:30

Jake is five and learning to read.
He points at a picture in a zoo book and says,

"Look Mamma! It's a frickin elephant

Deep breath....."What did you call it?'

'It's a frickin Elephant, Mama!'

"It says so on the picture!"

African Elephant'

USA Casinos Game Players Welcome

2008-12-07T13:10:00.002+05:30

in the last few years, the trend of playing Casinos game online is on high. Most of the people who not able to visit any of the casinos loves to play it online through websites on Online casinos. There is one and undoubtedly good site on USA online casinos and it is USA Casino accepting USA Players with no state exclusions. USA Deposits Allowed Site.

It offers USA Land Casinos, Las Vegas Land Casinos, Reno Land Casinos, Biloxi Land Casinos, Atlantic City Land Casinos, English Harbour Poker, Crazy Vegas Poker, Aztec Riches Poker, Golden Tiger Poker, Poker Rewards, Virtual City Poker, Captain Cooks Poker, River Belle Poker, The Gaming Club Poker, Bingo, Slots

Phelios games: PC Games, Mac Games, RPG Games

2008-12-02T11:00:00.002+05:30

Now a days a lot of kids and youngster and even grown up ones are into computer games, and the Internet world is flooded with games but not all that good. Recently while looking for some good sites for computer games, I came across phelios.com. Its main attraction is mac games, where i came across mac solitaire which is really and interesting and worth playing. In addition to all that phelios.com also has Hidden object games for mac.

Nouveau Riche

2008-11-21T14:03:00.002+05:30

Becoming Rich and prosperous is a dream that each and every individual sees everyday. One only one in a million able to convert his/her dreams into reality.
Recently while browsing through web, i came across a article THE BILLIONAIRES, which provide information about those people who were previously part of a lower socioeconomic rank and then became billionaire known as Nouveau Riche. The Article really motivates a individual to think that he can convert what ever he dreams about. The all he need to do is to focus himself on his target and may be one day he might be able to touch the heights he never ever thought of.

The Article not only motivates a individual but also provide information about the Nouveau Riche, and tells us how they achived it. It will let us to think if Nouveau Riche can achive they why not we.

Senior Citizen for Yearly Physical

2008-08-29T11:39:00.000+05:30

A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical
with his wife tagging along.

When the doctor enters the examination room he says,
"I will need a urine sample,
a stool sample, and a sperm sample."

The man, being hard of hearing,
turns to his wife and meekly asks, "What did he say?"

The weary wife yells to him,
"GIVE HIM YOUR STINKING UNDERWEAR!"

Women and Bus Driver

2008-08-29T11:38:00.001+05:30

A woman gets on a city bus. She looks at the driver and holds up one hand; the driver holds up two hands.
Next, the woman points up; the driver points down. Then, the woman grabs her breast; the driver grabs his
crotch. Finally, the woman grabs her butt and gets off the bus.

A curious passenger asked the bus driver what the odd motions were all about.

The driver explained, "The woman is a deaf-mute. She asked me if a bus ride is five cents, and I told her
it was ten cents. Next, she asked if the bus was going uptown, and I told her it was going downtown. Then, she
asked if the bus was going pass the milk-farm, and I told her it was going pass the ball-park."

The passenger interjected, "Okay, but why did she grab her butt as she left the bus?"

The driver continued, she replied "Oh crap, I'm on the wrong bus!"

Maid asked for a raise

2008-08-29T11:36:00.001+05:30

A Maid asked for a raise.
Her Madam was very upset about this and asked: Now Maria, why do you want an increase?
Maria: Well Madam, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you.
Madam: Who said you iron better than me?
Maria: The Master said so.
Madam: Oh
Maria: The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.
Madam: Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than I?
Maria: The Master did.
Madam: Oh
Maria: My third reason is that I am a better "woman" than you.
Madam (very upset now): Did the Master say so as well?
Maria: No Madam, the gardener said.
SHE GOT THE RAISE ...

Make me feel like a woman again

2008-08-29T11:32:00.001+05:30

A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot announces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing.

The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screamed.

So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Iron this."

GodFather's Revolver or Rolex watch

2008-08-29T11:30:00.000+05:30

The old Italian Mafia Don, The Godfather is dying so he called his
grandson to his bed.

"Grandson I wanna you listen to me. I wanna for you to take my Chrome
plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your
Rolex watch instead."
"You listen to me, some day you gonna be running the business, you
gonna have a beautiful wife, lots of money, a big home and maybe a
couple of bambino. Some day your gonna come home and maybe find your
wife in bed with another man.. What you gonna do then? Point to
your watch and say TIMESUP?"

Seventeenth chapter of Mark

2008-08-29T11:26:00.001+05:30

A preacher would up the services one morning by saying, "Next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And in this connection, as a preparation for my discourse, I would like you all to read the seventeenth chapter of Mark."
On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin, and said, "Now, then, all of you who have done as I requested and read the seventeenth chapter of Mark, please raise your hands."
Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.
Then said the preacher, "You are the people I want to talk to. There is no seventeenth chapter of Mark."

Husband Wife and Frying Pan

2008-08-29T11:23:00.000+05:30

A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.

"What was that for?" the man asked. The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket".

The man said "When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on"

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

"Your horse called up"

Earth Rotates 30 Times Faster

2008-08-29T11:17:00.001+05:30

Q. What happens when the earth rotates 30 times faster?

*

*

*

*

A. You get your salary every day!!

Find Volume mathmatician physicist engineer

2008-06-15T14:19:00.000+05:30

A mathmatician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume.
The mathmatician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.
The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.
The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball table.

M.B.A Student vs B.E Student

2008-06-15T14:17:00.000+05:30

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian......

A MBA and a BE student go on a camping trip, set up their tent ,and fell asleep.
Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend and says
"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."
The BE asks, "What does that tell you?"
The MBA ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
The BE is silent for a moment, then speaks.
"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".

World's Greatest Marvel---that is an Engineer

2008-06-15T14:13:00.001+05:30

[1] Marvel that is an Engineer - Practical

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all
her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded
approvingly and said, "Good choice; her clothes probably wouldn't have fit
you anyway.

[2] Marvel that is an Engineer - Exact

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

[3] Marvel that is an Engineer - Discriminative
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

[4] Marvel that is an Engineer - Probing Mind
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate
with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an
accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts
degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

[5] Marvel that is an Engineer - Detailed
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints. "Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections. The
last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else
would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

[6] Marvel that is an Engineer - Perfectionist
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke,
it is perfect, then expand it and add more features until it breaks.

[7] Marvel that is an Engineer - Values
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and
said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and
returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and
turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do
ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the
frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog
asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and
that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't
you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an
engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now
that's cool."

[8] Marvel that is an Engineer - Resilient

Cold of Economy gives them Pneumonia yet they survive and flourish
everywhere.

A naughty Poem

2008-06-15T13:42:00.000+05:30

The sky was dark
the moon was high
all alone just her and I

Her hair so soft
her eyes so blue
I knew just what she wanted to do

Her skin so soft
her legs so fine
I ran my fingers down her spine

I didn't know how
but I tried my best
to place my hand on her breast

I remember my fear
my fast beating heart
but slowly she spread her legs apart

And when she did
I felt no shame
as all at once the white stuff came

At last it was finished
it's all over now,
my first time... milking a cow.