A Very Chik

Dating like you've been dumped

2008-06-03T22:27:00.005-05:00

You know when you intend to call an old friend, then you put it off and play some phone tag and then you realize it's been so long you don't know where to even begin? That is sadly what has happened here with the blog. But I'm back and I am going to put in the effort needed to keep this friendship going. That being said, my lack of blogging action does not translate to a lack of dating action. In fact, it's been just the opposite. Here's the story...

So dating like I've been dumped is really what I've been up to.

I just read through three half written posts that for whatever reason, I just never felt inspired to finish and share. They weren't bad, just sad. However, I can now happily say they make no sense in the context of my life. Re-reading them made me realize (once again) how quickly life can transform.

No, no, no... I'm not saying I'm not a single Chik these days. It's just that I've had a real attitude adjustment recently.

After the Hibernation of 08, The Dud and another unfortunate run-in with a guy "who is just not that into me, but gave me many signs to think he was" I was crabby. Really crabby. The kind of crabby that made me sob for no reason. Desperate to shake the ache of a long, lonely winter. Watching The Break-Up too many times to count. Having completely lost perspective on all the reasons it's great to be single.

Then a few things happened. I got a new job (thank GOD), I took some time off (much needed), I remembered all the things I love about living alone and being single (hello SSB... more to come on that), I shopped like a maniac (retail therapy is magical) and was then presented with a challenge.

See my friend SuperGirl and I went on a road trip and she threw down the gauntlet... two dates a week. Get back to the kind of dating that's fun and carefree. No hopes or expectations. No over-analyzing, no worries. Just fun and free dinners.

In other words... she made me realize I needed to date like I had been dumped.

See after the LCBU, I dated with no worries, fears and most importantly no expectations. I knew I wasn't equipped to handle a relationship and for that matter... I didn't want one. I just wanted to date. Have a laugh. Meet interesting people. Vertical kiss. Have good stories. The kind of stories the Married's love me for and have now come to expect (not sure if that's a good thing).

Then the flip switched. I went from wanting to date my ass off (as I proudly have for the past two years) to wanting to sit on my ass at home with someone I really liked. And that is precisely when dating went downhill.

So in the past two months I have successfully and shamelessly given my number to strangers, innocently smooched (he may or may not have still been in college), went on a date coordinated through a real-life match making service (think Millionaire MatchMaker here people), graciously accepted offers for set-ups, and partied like a rap guys girlfriend (a d-list rap guy from Tokyo that is).

And you know what. It's just what I needed. I feel revived. Hopeful. Happy. And just in time for summer.

So now I am passing along the challenge... date like you've been dumped. It's good for the soul. And good for the economy (lot's of dates translates to lot's of new clothes of course).

Taking tests can be hazardous to your mental health...

2008-04-15T17:12:00.004-05:00

As I've said, I've got some time on my hands. Even if you don't...

TAKE THIS ONLINE QUIZ RIGHT NOW!

Apparently I am The Sonnet

The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLD)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?
Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.
Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.
You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.

ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand (DBSM), The False Messiah (DBLM), The Hornivore (RBSM), The Last Man on Earth (RBSD)
CONSIDER: The Loverboy (RGLM)

Funny. Everyone I am to avoid at all costs... yup, pretty sure I've tried dating all of you lately. I have a particular habit of falling for The False Messiah. The always just seem so great at first. oh I get it. Too good to be true. Uh-huh.

From now on I am going to use this as a screening process for all potential dates. Weird?

Entertain Me

2008-04-14T16:16:00.007-05:00

Throwing parties is a secret favorite of mine... who am I kidding. Anyone who has known me for 5 minutes knows I love to entertain. It's in my blood. My mom's side of the family might take the gold medal for hostess with the mostest skills. I've learned from the best.

So tomorrow I am throwing a better late than never birthday party for L & L. Their b-days were in December.... Oops. But it's okay because this winter no one wanted to leave their house and venture out in the snow and ice and freezing temps unless I could promise really good things once they got here. Unless you love baked goods I doubt anything was worth coming over for.

Here we are in mid-April, as an homage to the groups mutual love for the wee little boy Chance Crawford (I don't care if he is young enough for me to have babysat at some point) I have themed the party Gossip Girl. This is also in honor of it's return next Monday, April 21. Have you all seen those promo posters?! Yowza. I've been trying my darndest to snag one for the party but can't seem to peel them off a building without ripping the thing to shreds. If anyone can snag me one by tomorrow it would be much appreciated. Gracias.

For those who don't know, recently I've found myself with more time on my hands than usual. I hate to be bored just about more than anything in the whole world so... I've been going a little nutty planning this party. Yesterday I bought fancy new cups at Crate and Barrell, I am planning on making tissue paper flowers to decorate the table, I'm putting together little goodie bags for everyone and the menu has taken me quite a bit of research time. Thank goodness the time on my hands is short term. I'd go broke from party planning.

This afternoon I made these delicious baby button cookies that are going to look darling in the new glass bowl I bought just for them.

I've also whipped up a homemade honey cinnamon frosting for the cupcakes I am making tomorrow.

Frosting is as follows:
- 1 stick of softened butter (the recipe called for unsalted but I just used regular butter and I think it tastes fine)
- 1.5 tbsp of honey
- 1/2 tbsp of cinnamon (as always, I use the good stuff from The Spice House)
- 1.25 cups of powdered sugar

I think we will also be having some type of fancy champagne cocktail (to go in the new glasses) mini-chicken pesto sandwiches, bloody mary shrimp cocktail and assorted nibbley things like nuts and dips, etc...

If you love frosting but don't have time to make cupcakes, I highly recommend that cinnamon frosting on pretzels. I may have had a few dips this afternoon.

Clearly, if anyone needs a party to be planned in the near future you know who to call.

Oh is that a ring your wearing... no you can't have my number

2008-04-11T15:45:00.000-05:00

Dear Married Men/Guys With Girlfriends/Fiances or anyone in your life who assumes you are dating them -

Please take notice...

Do not hit on me, flirt, attempt to get my number, give me yours or even look remotely interested in talking to me. If I wanted to meet an a$$ I can do that without hurting someone else too. There are plenty of single jerks lurking around without you taken guys stomping all over their territory.

Believe me, if you stop trying to pick up chik's everyone will appreciate it. Probably your wife/girlfriend/fiance most of all.

You are ruining things for a) me and my single girlfriends who are trying to as hard as we can to not think horrible things about the male race b) your younger and more eligible counterparts who genuinely CAN talk to me in a bar but are scared off by your sleazy butt.

Thanks bunches!

xoxo,
That single girl in the bar you spent all of last Friday night talking to about your wife and 4 kids and then had the audacity to come on to.

p.s. Thanks for picking up our dinner tab! We actually didn't go home "because we are so tired." Really we went to a bar only a few blocks away to escape you and your little sidekick ; )

The Science Of Dating

2008-03-11T12:26:00.002-05:00

The only C I’ve ever received was as a senior in college, taking a basic level, but mandatory physics class I put off as long as possible. I try to blame it on the fact that I had mono and the class was at 8am. But who am I kidding… I really just hate science.

I don’t care so much how stuff happens, as long as it keeps happening and I don’t fall off the Earth and slip into orbit (I am deathly afraid of outer space and aliens).

That said… I have managed to retain a few bits of knowledge from my old mandatory science days:

- Mitochondria are the powerhouse of all cells
- Evaporation is a cooling process
- Once matter exists it never goes away

While items one and two aren’t so helpful on a deeper level (or even a daily basis, unless you walk around wet all the time) Item three has been the inspiration for a theory I’m always preaching to my girls…

Ex’s Cannot Be Friends

Although science is not my thing, dating is (not necessarily my best thing, but a big part of my life nonetheless). And a great deal of dating mystery is based on a complex scientific concept… chemistry.

Everything about two people could be a great match on paper, but if there is no chemistry, there is no point. I’ve tried to understand why I have chemistry with one person and not another and there is no explanation. When it’s there, it’s there and when it’s not… well then I end up on dates with guys who wear jorts or reference obscure 80’s songs or who for no explainable reason just don’t give me the butterflies (look at me mixing chemistry with entomology) even though they are cute and smart and successful and actually into me (a rare scientific anomaly).

But when that chemistry is there… yowza! It’s there and I feel spark and sizzle and eventually hope to have some fireworks. The catch is, dating is fairly absolute. Either you marry the person and live happily ever after or you break up. It’s harsh but true. Even though there are fireworks and sparks, most often that will fizzle and you’ve got a pile of ashes to clean up (or keep in the ex-boyfriend memorabilia box).

This idea of chemistry and matter got me thinking and begged the question… if chemistry is something that exists between two people that makes it matter (in the scientific sense) right? So what happens when the sparks stop? Once that matter matters, does it ever go away, even if he does?

Ladies and gentleman the answer is no. Matter never ceases to exist and that includes the chemistry you once had with an ex. Even if it’s not apparent now, it was there once and that NEVER GOES AWAY. This is science we are talking about here people. And science doesn’t lie (unlike the cheating bastard who broke your heart).

Stop trying to be friends with your ex. You are fighting science if you try. Even though you think it’s an innocent coffee date and that there are no feelings anymore… YOU ARE WRONG. They aren’t on the surface, but they are still floating around the universe. You broke up for a reason (if you don’t believe me then read It’s Called A Break-Up Because It’s Broken and they will convince you) so there is no need to go around trying to crash those atoms together again. The only thing you are going to get from all that atom crashing is a big messy explosion. And that is a lot worse mess to clean up than a regulated fireworks show.

And that my friends is your science lesson for the day. I hope you took good notes.

Class dismissed.

p.s. Now that we all know science plays such a large part in dating… fireworks, sparks, butterflies, chemistry, etc… I think this explains why I’ve been failing lately.

Any Given Friday

2008-02-25T12:10:00.006-06:00

Target on a Friday night. One of my favorite places to be.

Before I invested in a NetFlix membership I used to hit up Blockbuster. But then I realized that it's just depressing. If you want to know what all the single girls are doing on a Friday night (otherwise known as date night)... go check your local video store. I found my people. A bunch of chicks in sweats, fighting over the last copy of Under The Tuscan Sun or Love Actually. And to really drive home the gloom, the first time I went after the LCBU (life changing break-up) I realized I didn't even have my own video card any more. An unexpected reminder of how completely I had merged my life with someone. I think it's around that time I stopped renting movies. I'm convinced NetFlix was created by a girl who was dumped and realized she didn't want to face the shame of opening her own video rental account... again.

So... now that I've discovered NetFlix (the safe way to rent movies) I have a new favorite Friday night spot. Target. Retail therapy that serves a purpose. Instead of spending money on expensive stuff I don't need, now I can spend money on inexpensive stuff I don't need with a few practical items thrown in for good measure).

A recent Friday night at Target, my cart looked a little something like this at check out...

- Dog Food
- New socks
- Toilet Paper
- Cute apron on sale
- Diet Coke
- New LIVE John Legend cd (I don’t buy cd’s but this is only available in-store)
- Deodorant, body wash and tooth paste
- 3 boxes of cereal with sugar content well above what I was allowed as a child (mom your plan backfired... I'm working on making up for lost years with Fruity Pebbles)
- An array of items posing as an attempt to grocery shop without actually going to the "real" grocery store

The couple behind me...
- Bottled water
- A pint of ice cream
- Trail mix
- An energy bar
- A box of magnum condoms

SO. NOT. FAIR.

I guess now I should say Target on a Friday night USED to be my favorite place. I'm running out of options here people.

Soundtrack for Hibernating

2008-02-21T15:49:00.004-06:00

I love mixed cd's. I love making them for myself and sharing them with others. Receiving them from friends. I think I do a pretty darn good job too. Over the years I've made a habit of creating soundtracks for different phases of my life... Happy Graduation, Tears, Get Over It, Dust Bunny Killers (for cleaning), Hello Stranger, Coffee House Blend, Summers 2002 - 2007, Feel the Burn, RoadTrip XYZ, Get it On, Angry Work Music, the list goes on and on and on... When I go back and listen to specific mixes I'm always surprised at what a reflection it is of my mindset at that point in time. A journal writen in someone elses words, but with my feelings behind it... and thank god someone else's voice!

I've also been accused of playing a song to death (ask any of my junior year roomates about Crazy - my apologoes AGAIN). As a result, many old favorites are an instant time warp machine back to a moment from my past. I've decided when I turn 30 I'm going to make a boxed set of greatest hits (and misses) from my 20's. Maybe I'll sell it online for 3 easy installments of $19.95 (I fell for that once. The cd's magically never appered on my doorstep. I'm pretty sure the mail lady at work was getting it on with my Smooth R&B as her background music).

So the most recent playlist that has been keeping me company (i.e. running on repeat day in and day out) while I hibernate looks a lil sometihng like this*...

Hibernation 08 (hopefully no versions '09 and '10)
Love Song - Sara Bareilles
The Fear You Won't Fall - Joshua Radin
Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy
Slow Dance - John Legend
Fallin In Love With You - Josh Kelley
Say - John Mayer
Up to the Mountain - Patty Griffin
Lost - Micheal Buble
New Soul - Yael Naïm
Better That We Break - Maroon
Forgiveness - Patty Griffin

I have to say I'm kinda proud it isn't full of more depressing music. I'm a HUGE fan of depressing songs so this is actually fairly upbeat for the dead of an abnormally frosty winter. And by frosty I am referring to the temp and my mood.

*Not sure what the legalities are for sharing music so I've not included the ACTUAL songs here. Everything is available on iTunes.

Tim Riggins is a Stud

2008-02-17T16:23:00.004-06:00

Clear eyes (or minds... I spent a long time debating this at the bar last night), full hearts, can't lose!

Everyone who watches it LOVES it and everyone who doesn't is missing out on the best show on television (with or without the writers strike).

People. Tim Rigins is not the only reason this show is fantastic (although his brooding, man-child hotness has kept me warm the past few lonely Friday nights). Coach Taylor makes McDreamy seemlike McWeenie! The many cowgirl hats Tammy Taylor wears as a REAL working mom with no nannies and fat checkbooks makes the chicks on Cashmere Mafia and Lipstick Jungle look like moronic spoiled bras and Tyra and Landry's sweet, but rocky relationship is better than any cheap reality show attempt to pair up geeks and hotties!

Please,please, please click the link above and let NBC know they MUST save this show!

Watch episodes online. You won't regret it...

Also... If the show is cancelled I have to start thinking of a new Halloween costume because no one will realize I'm a Dillon Panther's cheerleader!

Annual Valentine's Day Parade

2008-02-14T14:49:00.003-06:00

It’s been a parade of florists here today.

Colorful bouquets as cheery and bright as any Rose Bowl celebration.

Last year my desk was one of the planned stops.

I had my very own fragrant surprise and sweet card.

By the following week he fell off the planet.

Into the abyss of relationships that ended Soprano’s style.

Just this past December I got an e-mail.

From his girlfriend of two years.

She had been putting it off for almost a year.

She figured something was up when her live-in boyfriend got a package of chocolates and a cd on Valentine’s Day.

Doesn’t take a team of detectives to figure that one out.

Apparently I was the dirty mistress and didn’t even know it.

God I hope she dumped him.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Come Fly The Friendly Skies

2008-02-13T16:03:00.000-06:00

So I met a boy. On a plane. Just trying to get the home after a long week of work. I’m still trying to hibernate. A new crush was the furthest thing from my mind. I was focused on my iPod, my book and a few hours of mind numbing day dreaming. Instead this happened…

I was in a rush (I usually am. I’m Type A and as I’ve been told, most Type A’s run late because we constantly over estimate our ability to get things done). No time to finish breakfast before boarding my flight. I try to casually toss my cup of dry cereal into the trash as I breeze by with my hands full of coffee and luggage. I miss and my Kashi explodes into the air like healthy bits of breakfast confetti. He is unfortunate enough to be sitting too close to my missed target. Luckily he’s a good sport about my poor aim. I smile, giggle an apology and explain basketball was never my sport. Go figure he’s cute. Of course he is. If I’m embarrassing myself they usually are.

Fast forward 30 minutes (the flight was delayed AGAIN and I had no breakfast). I’m walking towards my seat and notice breakfast guy on my flight. He seems to be sitting awfully close to where I should be dumping my bag and vegging for the next few hours. I quickly realize he is in fact sitting not close, but right next to me. What are the chances? I spill cereal on a stranger in the airport and he ends up being my seatmate. Oh wait… my special super hero powers are working again. I’ve managed to shrink the world into my own small orbit. Ask E… happens all too often. I can never be anonymous. Or do something anonymous for that matter.

Too good to be true. It was dumped into my lap. Or at least into his.

Although our flight wasn’t taking off, we were hitting it off.

You realize who is writing this blog right? It’s never this cute and sweet. There is always a punch line.

He has a girlfriend. As E said “go f’ing figure. This ALWAYS happens to you.”

Cutie cereal guy with good jeans, who runs and travels and seems smart and fun and NORMAL… has a girlfriend. Oh and a little salt in the wound… me he met his previous girlfriend on a plane. I bet she didn’t spill her breakfast on him though.

I can tell I’m still blushing (I’m sure my neck was red too) for most of the first hour of easy conversation. Several weird coincidences and a few bad dating stories later, he asks if I’m seeing anyone. I decide to spare him the details of my hibernation and simply answer with a resounding no. Eventually he fishes around enough to discover I’m open to set-ups. Or at least open minded enough to consider them.

Next thing you know, I’ve given him my info and have agreed to let a stranger set me up on a blind date.

Hello double stranger danger! Will I ever learn my lesson? Is that that hard to just say no? Moral of this story is TBD.

*** Update – Airplane guy’s friend emailed. We went out. It was fun. Seeing him again. Tonight. Might be the strangest way I’ve gotten a date. And that’s saying A LOT. Stay tuned for the inevitable crash and burn.

Think Before You Shrink

2008-01-09T13:31:00.000-06:00

Ladies - A word of advice I firmly stand-by and share with my nearest and dearest girls...

Think before you wear tights on a date.

I am ALL for wearing skirts on dates. They are fun, flirty, feminine and usually quite comfortable.

I am also all about tights, for several reasons really:

- They suck us in and smooth us out
- They keep legs warm in the winter
- They are another great accessory we get to play with

However, if there is any chance you will be ending the evening with something more than a vertical kiss... think long and hard about what that could lead to.

Tights might look pretty darn cute under a skirt but I don't know many people that look good in tights alone (Lindsey Lohan... if you are reading this that goes for you too!!) Most girls know the smoothing is an illusion. A displacement of pudge. Tights (and Spanxx for that matter) are miracle makers not magic. Nothing actually disappears.

See where I'm going with this....

Skirt comes off and the extra few cookies you ate at the holiday party are not so cleverly hidden. They are now hanging out just between your bra and the band of your tights. Which, if you're petite like me, are most likely jacked up high enough to be not only unflattering, but also reminiscent of the way your first grade teacher wore her pants.

So now you've lured your hot date home, enticed him enough to create "interest" and now you look like the woman who taught him to read and wash his hands after using the bathroom. I'm pretty sure you'll be kissing him goodbye instead of good morning.

It's a crash not a crush

2008-01-02T15:27:00.000-06:00

Friday night. January. At home. On my couch. ALONE. I don’t know if I am more excited by the new episode of Friday Night Lights (darn that writers strike) or my first two movies from my new Netflix subscription – The Break-Up and Notes on A Scandal.

You see… I am hibernating. I am taking a break from life. Specifically my social life and any chance I could have at interacting with the opposite sex. If it was not completely freakish I would hang a sign above my head that says… Keep Out.

Over the past few weeks I’ve realized I don’t have crushes. I crash. Really crash and burn is more like it. And this recent burn was just the compounding incident that sent me over the edge.

A few weeks ago when I realized I was an accidental dirty mistress thanks to McDreamy’s lying, cheating ways I swore to my mom that I was done. Her hopes of ever having grandchildren were probably pretty close to toppling after that incident. But no… That very weekend I met someone. He was a friend of a friend. Highly recommended. Handsome, fun, smart, blah, blah, blah. A few great dates. Cute texts (ugh… I hate texts and I was still excited by these!). I hadn’t felt this hopeful since Brittney’s second attempt at rehab. Finally, I had met someone who had promise. There were no warning signs (namely no girlfriend, stalker tendencies, or abnormal attachment to his boys) he followed through when he said he’d call, he wanted to meet my dog (sigh)… Needless to say, I was crashing. Hard.

I think crush implies a slow process. Have you ever tried to crush a can? It takes some effort and is deliberate. People usually plan on crushing something. When you crush you make room for something else. How often do you hear of people being involved in crushing incidents?

A crash is quick, unexpected and unplanned. It takes your breath away and scares you a little. Your adrenaline flows and the moment or moments are relived over and over. Time is spent trying to figure out at what moment it suddenly happened. Crashes are dangerous. And my love life is never safe from the disaster that is a crash.

You know where this is going right? I crashed and now I’m feeling the burn. Over the course of a weekend I went from feeling giddy to grumpy. Mr. Eligible Bachelor went from dreamy to devilish faster than you can say Happy New Year. And the “happy” was most definitely missing from my Happy New Year. Could the cliché that she was younger and blonder really be any more annoying?

So this grumpy chik got herself a subscription to Netflix, is going to have the cleanest apartment in the city, put her new KitchenAid mixer to good use and tonight I might start working on the Keep Out sign for my front door.

Hi my name is Chik and I'm an addict...

2007-11-30T15:50:00.000-06:00

I’m an addict. I can’t help it. Sometimes (who am I kidding… every time I type the darn website into my browser) it draws me in. I think… oh I’ll just read one and then next thing you know I’ve virtually attended a dozen or more complete strangers weddings! It’s like late 20 something, single girl crack. I look at the pictures, read their proposal stories, steal ideas for my own wedding one day in 2057, admire their bling, think how I would never wear a gown so unflattering. Why do I care to look at strangers weddings? Sometimes I get tired of going to weddings of people I actually know (this is probably because since I’ve been single I’ve attended 73 weddings all alone). Geez… half the time I think I might just elope so why can’t I help myself? Just like other addicts, I’m just trying to get a fix. Maybe to fix the afternoon if I’m feeling lonely or bored. It’s like a little pick me up minus the calories. Or maybe because I’m a glutton for punishment and I just want to be sure I know when The Troll is engaged so I can stop wondering (all other serious ex’s are engaged or married already). So you see… it’s not just stranger weddings I’m fascinated with. I’ve also discovered yet another way to internet stalk people from my past. First there was google, then myspace, then linked-in for professional reasons, but theknot.com is really in a category all its own. I can type in the bride or grooms name and viola… I have discovered their wedding webpage. Let’s be honest. Half the time I google someone it’s to figure out what’s new in their lives. And when you’re my age most often the “new thing” is marriage (or babies – yay my first girlfriend just had one last week). Why play around on google to find someone’s status when you can simply go straight to a wedding source. So… with all this site has to offer how can I not get sucked in just a little bit?

My poor friend E is usually the recipient of my latest find on theknot. Today I sent her a sweet proposal story (of a stranger nonetheless and she had to ask "who are Tricia and Chad again??"), a few weeks ago she was privy to find out a random guy from college, who was DEFINITELY not the settling down type, was now in fact married (cute proposal story included on that one too). I believe that discovery led to approximately 3 hours of e-mailing about certain people we could not believe were married. And then ironically enough, I ran into said dudes old roommate that same weekend and had to play dumb about the marriage knowledge. And that my friends is precisely why I know this is a true addiction. Addicts are usually in a state of denial. And until today I’ve been there. Consider this my first step towards cleaning up my life. I am on the path towards recovery. I’m hopeful by this spring I will be free to find out about life and weddings the way god intended… via text.

Pumpkin Bar Bumpkin

2007-11-20T13:32:00.000-06:00

In honor of my very favorite time of the year (the build up to football season is a close second)
I want to share a recipe I tried this past weekend (to take to a football party of course). These will be making an appearance at my family Thanksgiving Fun Fest!

These are Pumpkin Chip Bars and they are quite tasty. In fact, someone who tried one (or 5) let me know these made it onto his "top three desserts" list. Wow!

As always I've made some slight enhancements to the original recipe (Martha Stewart baking cookbook from last winter). Instead of using Pumpkin Pie Seasoning I mixed my own (cinnamon, allspice, ginger and nutmeg) and I replaced the suggested semi-sweet chocolate chips with milk chocolate. Also - my friend decided to add cream cheese frosting to a few and that seemed to go over really well!

Ingredients
Makes 24.
2 cups (spooned and leveled) all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon pumpkin-pie spice
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/4 cups sugar
1 large egg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup canned pumpkin puree
1 package (12 ounces) semisweet or milk chocolate chips (I prefer milk chocolate)
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line bottom and sides of a 9-by-13-inch baking pan with foil, leaving an overhang on all sides. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, pie spice, baking soda, and salt; set aside.

With an electric mixer, cream butter and sugar on medium-high speed until smooth; beat in egg and vanilla until combined. Beat in pumpkin puree (mixture may appear curdled). Reduce speed to low, and mix in dry ingredients until just combined. Fold in chocolate chips.

Spread batter evenly in prepared pan. Bake until edges begin to pull away from sides of pan and a toothpick inserted in center comes out with just a few moist crumbs attached, 35 to 40 minutes. Cool completely in pan. Lift cake from pan (using foil as an aid). Peel off foil, and use a serrated knife to cut into 24 squares.

New Driver

2007-11-08T14:51:00.000-06:00

Wow… a month and a half with nothing. So this is what happens when you make a personal vow to blog about bad dates and then suddenly have none. It’s not that I’ve been having no dates. Just no bad dates. Wow… I can’t believe those words were typed on a keyboard anywhere close to me! I’ve actually been going on good dates with a boy. “The boy” as my mom and I have taken to calling him.

A few words about my mom. She knows me. I mean REALLY knows me. It’s creepy sometimes. She just gets me. Gets it. And remembers EVERYTHING (except of course the smattering of childhood memories I swear to have that she claims never actually occurred – hello riding on the fire truck in South Carolina). Anyway… I digress. My mom has learned over the years that she must absolutely not put a label on my love life. Other than labeling me as her eternally single and fabulously independent daughter. Those labels I can handle. The labels about my love life I cannot. Over the years she has graciously adopted my favorite term of “just being.” I can be someone’s friend, I can eventually (a way far off until I feel totally ready to commit to that kind of title eventually) be someone’s girlfriend. The in between period is called “just being.”

Through this most recent “just being” phase I’ve discovered something. The dating game is a lot like learning how to drive. And refresher courses should really be mandatory for those of us who temporarily had our license suspended.

There are signals and signs. Some are mixed and confusing and you always pray “Wrong Way” isn’t referring to the lane you’re driving in. Accelerating and breaking are common. Sometimes it’s only in anticipation and other times it’s in response to your fellow drivers. Either way… whiplash is no fun. I think about some of my friends who were so eager to hit the open road. While I on the other hand, was a little more cautious, thinking how scary it all seemed. I took it nice and slow and avoided the major highways until I felt safe on the backroads. Eventually we all got there, some faster than others. There those “rules” everyone knows to follow that are glaringly obvious like a giant Do Not Enter sign straight ahead. No talk of religion or politics or god forbid ex’s. Remember Do Not Enter is there for a reason. Sometimes if you go down that path you might get stuck. In the end the worst thing that can happen is feeling like you’ve been hit by a Mack truck or have reached a Dead End.

Learning how to drive isn’t all bad though. When you do eventually hit the open-up road it can be really fun. Wind in your hair on a beautiful sunny fall day can’t stop smiling kind of fun. You want to show off your new car to all your friends. And you can finally forget about that old model you thought was great at first but turned out to be a real lemon. It’s a great car for learning but not a keeper.

Just like we learned in driving school… sometimes we stall and just need a battery recharge to remind us how to get going again.

Prince Not-So Charming

2007-09-27T00:00:00.000-05:00

So who decided that Prince Charming was the gold standard of all princes? Did this person ever actually try to date? I'm pretty convinced she didn't. Because if she spent anytime outside of whatever fairytale she was living in, I'm sure she would realize Prince Charming a) is damn hard to find b) is charming for a reason.

In my experience charming means one thing...

He's had time to hone his charming skills and it wasn't by spending time with old ladies at tea parties.

The most charming person I know is a guy I went to college with. He's smart, handsome, clever, flirty and could basically charm the pants off anyone. And I'm pretty sure plenty of pants have fallen as a result. Charm takes practice ladies. It is not the natural state of most men.

So Cinderella basically gave it up to a man-whore. Kind of ruins that Disney movie for me. Really, should little girls all over the world want to meet a guy who doesn't even have a name? Haven't they seen Dateline on Friday nights?! And honestly, what guy is that into shoes anyway?

Let's be realistic, we've all met Prince Confused, Prince Non-Committal and Prince Creepy. Those guys are running around all over the place. They pop-up everywhere. I've experienced all they have to offer and so have you. And no one I know has even gotten a pair of uncomfortable shoes out of it.

So why do we keep looking for our own Prince Charming, even though conventional wisdom would tell us to give up? The same reason we keep buying hair products and expensive face creams. We are convinced that one day we will find the one that actually works and makes us realize what we've been living without for all these years.

It may feel like an urban legend, but I have friends who have found it (hair products, face creams and the guy!). They give me hope. I make them tell me their own fairytale whenever I feel like mine is only a bad joke with a lame punchline. They don't let me give up. They remind me that their Prince Charming is actually Prince Makes Me Laugh and Breakfast in Bed or Prince Squishy In The Middle But Always Thoughtful.

He's out there somewhere. In my case he's probably holding a running shoe instead of a glass slipper.

The Texter Comes A Callin'

2007-09-12T22:44:00.000-05:00

Okay first of all sorry for so much dead air-time. I suppose if this were radio station I would lose my sponsors. I have no sponsors (and apparently no fans - hello people leave me some comments so I know this isn't a secret journal that just happens to be online!) so I can continue with my story....

So imagine this - last fall, went to a local bar with a girlfriend for the World Series, met two "dudes," one almost started a fight protecting my friend from a creep who claimed he wanted to impregnate her (isn't this a romantic story?), dude number two claims he had been admiring me at the gym for months (side note - keeping your headphones on at the gym apparently does actually work to keep creepy guys from talking to you while you are sweating and trying to workout), he got my number and never really learned how to dial it.

You see friends - this is how I met "The Texter"

Our first date was fine, we went to a bar and watched football. He wanted to do shots which was slightly weird, but I was in my "I am not actually ready to date anyone, I simply want attention from the opposite sex phase" so it was okay with me.

Date number two was my turn to plan so we went to the art museum for a cultural event and then had dinner. He seemed to enjoy himself and I believe there was a brief smooch at the door (part of this phase was also the invention of my "vertical kissing only" rule - more on that later).

Sadly, somewhere after date number two and oh.... about 2 hours ago, "dude" turned into "The Texter" - a guy who was incapable of dialing a telephone and asking me out like a normal person.

"dinner 2morrow"
"what u doin"
"hi"
"u around"
"watchin idol"

I had to quickly learn how to decipher mixed signals, poor grammar and complete ignorance to punctuation. In person he flirted and was chatty, then over the phone he was like a 14 year old boy talking to his buddies.

For months our "relationship" continued in a bizarre back and forth texting only dialogue. The guy NEVER called me. I don't know about the rest of you but I have a hard time getting to know someone when they only way they communicate is in 3 letter words and acronyms. I am a fairly sensible gal and appreciate the beauty of the brief text message, but seriously guys... texting is LAZY! If you are that lazy when you are trying to woo me, I don't even want to know the extent of your laziness. It got to a point that I would blatantly refuse to go out with him if he didn't actually pick up the phone and ask me properly (needless to say we didn't go out very often).

So I moved away and continued receiving an occasional text over the next several months. I heard nothing all summer and then tonight. BAM! A text. "hello how have you been?" I think my man drought has been detected all the way in my home state.

We communicated in our normal texting pattern and suddenly the unexpected happens. My phone rings. He not only learned how to use punctuation this summer, but he also learned how to dial.

His first comment was that he "can't take this texting anymore" so he decided to actually call. Our conversation was pleasant, mature and the longest I'd ever spoken to him over the phone. We promised to stay in touch.

It was sweet, "The Texter" actually seems to have matured over the past year. He went from debatable to dateable. If anyone is interested I can give you his number. Send him a text he'll love it.

Miss-Match.com

2007-08-30T10:48:00.000-05:00

If I'm going to blog that means I need dates. And since I am currently in the middle of a man drought I am resorting to desperate measures.

Match.com

They say third times the charm right?

I've just reviewed the possibilities and If I'm going to do this I realize I need to establish some criteria:

- No tank tops – I don’t want to see your armpits before I’ve met you in person
- I don’t care how your friends would describe you – I’m sure Charles Mansons friends thought he was a real cool guy too
- If you have professional pictures posted I’m pretty sure you aren’t interested in the ladies
- Okay duh… who doesn’t like “exploring all Chicago has to offer” – Isn’t that inherently why we all live here? If I wasn’t into it I would move to Boise
- Pictures of you and a million chicks does not make me feel like you are anymore attractive or in tune with the ladies. I think it's safe to assume you've slept with at least one of the chicks in the picture
- DO NOT MENTION YOUR RECENT BREAK-UP – Hello emotionally unstable. I don't need to pay $30 a month to find you. I'm just fine doing that on my own thanks. Seriously.

So friends - How would you describe me? ; )

Football and baking season is here!

2007-08-28T10:35:00.000-05:00

I know fall is near because yesterday I saw the much loved (by me) and very tasty maple scones at Starbucks. However, I realize they are not so great for maintaining a skinny jeans and clingy knits kinda look. So last night I took part in two of my favorite activities... baking and football watching! I found a recipe and tweaked it a little to add in oats (hello heart healthy) and a few of my favorite secret ingredients. These were very tasty right out of the oven.

Low-Fat Cinnamon Oatmeal Scones

1/2 cup non-fat vanilla yogurt
1/2 cup non-fat sour cream
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp lemon juice
2 cups flour
3/4 cup rolled oats
1/4 cup + 3 tbsp granulated sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tbsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
3-4 Tbsp chilled low fat margarine
1 tbsp brown sugar to top
If you can... A sprinkle of Vanilla Sugar from The Spice House(North and Wells)
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Whisk together the yogurt, sour cream, lemon juice and vanilla. Set aside.
Prepare baking sheet by spraying lightly with vegetable oil.

In a large bowl:Combine the flour, oats, sugar, baking powder, soda, cinnamon and salt.
Cut in the margarine until the mixture resembles course meal.
Cut and fold the yogurt/sour cream mixture into the flour until you can collect the dough.
Knead the dough on a lightly floured surface just until it can be shaped. DO NOT OVERWORK THE DOUGH, the scones will be tough.

Place the dough on the baking sheet.Pat the dough into an 8" - 10" long "log." Dust the top of the dough with 1 tbsp sugar, 1tbsp brown sugar (for those in Chicago a sprinkle of Vanilla Sugar from The Spice House is delish). Cut "to," not "through" the dough to mark 8 wedges. Bake the scones 20 minutes at 400 Deg.

You can add fillers (raisins, chips, etc.) or press nuts (almonds, pecans, etc.) onto the top before baking.

Keep Your Banana To Yourself

2007-08-28T09:47:00.000-05:00

I'm done and apparently so is the banana bread across the street.

Don't get me wrong, I am all about the baking (hello yummy low fat cinnamon oatmeal scones I made last night - recipe to come later). But seriously, if you have a girlfriend, I'm not interested in your tasty sweets before bed or first thing in the morning. So stop trying to tempt me with them.

I'm also not interested in your girlfriends leftovers - that means you and the extra batter she has no use for.

I can see where this is going. I'm going to end up bruised. And we all know no one likes a bruised banana.

You are already part of a bunch so keep your banana to yourself please.

An idea was hatched...

2007-07-18T16:11:00.000-05:00

You asked and after much hype I've finally answered...

Welcome to my first official blog post! I guess enough of you have laughed at (and been bewildered) my stories that I've finally decided they are worth sharing on a more regular basis. A book it's not, but I remain hopeful Jennifer Aniston (my celebrity soul sister) will find this and decide to play me in a movie.

So this whole "you've got to start a blog" thing got me thinking about how someone (me) so seemingly normal (boring) could collect such a steady stream of ridiculous stories? I don't sleep around, I don't get drunk and dance on bars, I have very normal friends, I have always had a steady job and I typically don't even aproach men! Yet, time after time I am starting a story with the words "I can't believe it" or "I don't understand" and my new personal favorite "You've got to be kidding me." Friends and coworkers have even started encouraging me to stop trying to meet anyone on my own because I'm pretty much just doomed.

I'm convinced it is a phenomenon that has resulted in what I have dubbed the "trifecta of exposure"

1. I have a "real" dog (Rudi) - Us "city dog" folk spend a lot of time outside - walking, runnning, playing, dog parking, etc... I've realized this puts me in the path of a motley array of people on a fairly regular basis. Dog people are often thought of as friendly, constantly inviting interaction with random people I wouldn't meet if I was inside knitting and petting a cat named Iris (I don't have one but as a friend said - I'm one bad date away from a buying a litter of cats).

This daily routine clearly must play a part in the phenomenon.

2. My job does not keep me trapped behind a desk - Granted I am sitting at my desk as I type this (don't worry, I plan on making up for lost time on the couch at home tonight!). However, I travel on a very regular basis and always have since I entered the workforce. I spend as much time at airports as I do at my local Dominick's. Travelling exposes me not only to germs, but also other travellers and strange characters (oops... I mean strangers). Obviously, exciting and terrifying all wrapped into one scenario.

Hello stranger danger.

3. I have a friendly/familiar face - I can't really explain what an unfriendly or unfamiliar face looks like, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't include dimples and freckles. Somehow this combination makes me look both 12 and friendly all at the same time. I actually think the looking like I'm 12 thing leads to the friendly thing... but you know what I mean. I guess the familiar comes from a mid-western look I was once told was "plain" (on a plane of course - consider that example A of weirdos on planes.)

I've always been scolded for being too friendly in general so the face doesn't help.

So there you have it. A nice, open minded girl with a dating life I like to refer to as a "Dramady" - drama, tragedy and comedy all in on.

Hold on tight and be thankful for your view from afar.