A Voice of Hope

An Open Thank You Note to Congress

2009-11-07T23:54:29-06:00

Dear Congress,

Gee, thanks for passing the bill that will kill small business and employer-offered health insurance - forcing a single-payer system on us all - implode our national budget and effectively bankrupt the US -- not to mention send unemployment through the roof thus extending this economic depression for decades to come.

Oh, don't worry, though. It won't happen overnight - so the majority of the public won't have any idea that it was your Progressive agenda that destroyed our country.

No, it will die a very slow, and painful death, which gives plenty of time for you to distract most with all your smoke and mirrors. And by the time it's done I'm sure you'll have found a way to blame it all on George W. Bush.

I, however, will remember you, and will do everything I can to make sure history remembers it was ultimately YOUR fault (not Bush's) that our nation crashed and burned.

Sincerely,

Lu - An Average American just trying to make a living

PS - Marsha Blackburn, you're my hero. Jim Cooper, you, sir, are on my Epic Fail list.

Worship as an Act of Faith

2009-05-07T07:15:00-05:00

I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
   the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
   the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
   and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
   his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
   How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
   He's all I've got left.

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
   to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
   quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
   to stick it out through the hard times. Lamentations 3:19-27

Last night I went to "Before The Throne" at my church. It was an extended time of worship preceded by a brief teaching. The focus this week was Worship as an Act of Faith. That is, worshiping God for what He is going to do, not just what He has done.

I don't do that so good. I'm great at worshiping Him for who He is and what He's done, but what He's yet to do....? Not so much. Mainly because, in all honesty, I don't really trust that He will do it. So I take the cowardly way out and wait till He does.

Last night, though, I made a decision. A choice. I choose to believe the promises He's given me. I choose to believe for the dreams and hopes and desires He's placed in my heart. Though it take my lifetime, I will worship Him for what He will do. Until He comes through for me or until He tells me to stop, I will worship Him for what He will do.

As we were singing and focusing on God, He gave me this image; put this image in my mind. It was of Him taking out my heart and replacing it with a fresh one -- a new, vibrant, strong bright red one. And then He breathed into me, not just over me or on me, but into me. Like CPR. New heart for new breath -- or new breath for new heart -- like new a wineskin for new wine.

I saw so clearly in that moment that, now, every breath I breathe is from Him. They all come from that one breath He breathed into and over me.

He held me tight in His arms for a while, like a mother holds her crying, hurting toddler. Like my mom always held me when I was crying and hurting. And as if to really drive His love-point home, the band then led us in singing "What a Friend We Have in Jesus," one of my mom's favorite hymns. I couldn't even sing; just stood there and wept. This time not out of missing my mom, though. This time I cried because I felt His love so profoundly - and my mom's love so clearly too. It was as if my mom was standing there holding me tight, caressing me the way she would and whispering that it's all going to be okay. Only I knew it wasn't my mom. It was God.

Then He looked me in the eyes and made it clear to me that I don't stop Him from doing anything He wants to do (I so often fear I've thwarted God's will or desires because of my own failings). He made it so very powerfully clear that I cannot stop Him, thwart Him, or keep His love or His will from invading my life and accomplishing His dreams for me (Romans 8 has been one of His constant words to me the last couple of weeks).

I believe God promises healing, recovery, wholeness. I also believe that God has a job where I can be of service and blessing to someone. But so often that belief gets buried under an avalanche of fear and doubt, worry and waffling. Perhaps the promises don't apply to me... perhaps there's some mark I've got to hit first and maybe I didn't jump high enough, believe hard enough, pray long enough, do enough. I waffle. I doubt. I fear that I'm not good enough.

But last night... I was never more convinced of His promises and His desires, to the core of my being, than I was last night, standing in the Barn before God's Throne, singing and crying out to Him.

One of the worship singers talked about fear; about how God may have us out on a ledge, feet half off hanging out into the air, and the fear we feel when we stare out into that nothingness. Lord do I know that fear! Absolute terror is what I've felt for months now --nearly half a year!

But this worship singer-leader said to us, "whatever it is He's asking you to do, where ever it is He's got you dangling your feet and staring out into the depths. Just step into it. Step off the ledge and into His will, into His arms, into the dark. Just step off."

So this is me stepping off the ledge, into the unknown, into His arms. Believing God for healing and wholeness. Believing God for recovery and redemption of all my crap. Believing God for a job, a place of service with my name on it. And worshiping Him for what He is going to do.

Not The Source

2009-03-09T23:43:29-05:00

Welcome to the living Stone, the source of life. - 1 Peter 2:4

A popular devotional book begins, "It's not about you." The first time I read that sentence I nearly threw the book across the room. Who is this Rick Warren guy to say such a thing?? Doesn't he know that life is, has always been, and will forever be about me?? The nerve of some people...

Seriously, I don't think we ever really outgrow our child-size egocentricity; that view that the world revolves around us, that everything that happens to us is somehow because of us. That it happens because of what we did, or didn't do, what we said or didn't say, or because we were good, or because we are bad. It's always about us. About me.

If I'm successful, it's because I worked hard. If I'm not, its because I'm lazy; regardless of the fact that I've put in the same amount of effort into each endeavor. If I'm healthy, it's because of my healthy choices in life. If I get sick, it's because I did something wrong, or, more insidiously, because I am inherently bad, or because God is mad at me or doesn't love me as much as that healthy person over there.

When I was laid off it was very hard to not take it personally, even though I had long before reconciled that I was the expendable one in our little department. My job was superfluous; "value add" to the rest of the team, but definitely nonessential. Since I first got the job I knew that I was the most expendable, and would be the first to go in a downsizing. Still, it stung like hell and felt incredibly personal; like it was all about me, not about what was best for the department in light of the circumstances. It was very difficult in that moment (and even since) to remember that most of what happens in life, most decisions people make, have little-to-nothing to do with me.

Most of my life I have railed against the notion that what God allows to happen (or does to me, depending on my mood at the moment) is not about me. So convinced am I that it is about me, that the first thoughts in my head whenever anything befalls me are, why is this happening to me?? and What did I do this time??

As a child I lacked the ability to think in the abstract, to reason out that there may be motives and issues and circumstances I cannot see. Everything is concrete and simple to a child; what they can see in front of them at the time is all that exists. Consequently, we all as children internalize everything that happens as somehow being about us and because of us.

As an adult I have the ability to think in the abstract, but tend to lack the will to look beyond the concrete of me into the shadows of the mysterious and invisible.

Tonight, however, I take comfort in complexity and transcendence. I'm feeling pretty battered, unwanted, undesirable, disposable. Rejection letters, polite though they may be, still leave scars, even when they come from strangers at nebulous HR offices. When they come from mentors.... whew! That is even more painful.

But if it's true, if it's not about me, if all that's going on in my life right now has its roots, causes, and reasons in abstract motives, issues and circumstances that have little-to-nothing to do with me -- save their impact on my life -- well then maybe I don't have to take all this so personally. Even if it is ten or even twenty percent about me, that still leaves eighty to ninety percent -- a clear majority -- that's not about me. It's about someone else. That suddenly feels so incredibly freeing to me now.

It says that I'm only one piece in a huge puzzle, one thread in a vast tapestry that my Papa is weaving. I don't have to make sense all by myself. I don't have to complete the picture all on my own. I don't have to be the center of all the universe's activity, or the blame of all the chaos. Whatever happens isn't because of me, or about me, and may not even be for me.

I'm not the Source or Purpose of Life. Therefore, I don't bear the weight of the whole thing; I'm just one stone within it.

Welcome to the living Stone, the source of life. The workmen took one look and threw it out; God set it in the place of honor. Present yourselves as building stones for the construction of a sanctuary vibrant with life, in which you'll serve as holy priests offering Christ-approved lives up to God. - 1 Peter 2:4-8 (The Message)

Unemployed - Day 83

2009-02-23T23:35:47-06:00

Those who follow me on Facebook know that I was laid off December 2nd. For those smart enough to stay far away from the Facebook vortex -- first let me say, good for you!! You rock!!, and, how do you do that??? -- and second, let me catch you up just a little: I'm unemployed.

Yeah, that's about it....

For 83 days now I have looked for a new job in an economy that absolutely sucks and just keeps surprising me with how much worse it can get as each day passes. I've had a couple of interviews but so far I'm still unemployed.

I finally broke down today and filed for unemployment. Yeah, I know --- many would say I should have done that day one, but can I tell you how utterly depressing it is to file that stuff? Online or in person, it doesn't matter: it just sucks. And since I'm often all about avoiding that which sucks whenever possible, well, I just kept putting it off. But now the deed is finally done. Good thing, too. The severance runs out this week. Now we start digging into school loans and savings.

There are days when life is good and I feel safe, secure, loved, and sheltered by God despite my current circumstances. Those days are like a little taste of heaven on earth. I'm filled with happiness, contentment, and peace about the future -- whatever it holds. Sometimes I can even see a glimpse of God's wisdom and goodness in giving me this "extended vacation."

But then there are days like today, where I struggle to keep breathing deeply and remembering Whose child I am, so as to stave off the panic attacks that are looming over me, ready to devour me whole. These days are difficult, discouraging, frustrating, anxiety-ridden, and very long. The worst of it seems to come after sunset. For some reason darkness outside my windows fuels my fears and depression. I'm not so much afraid of the dark as I am afraid in the dark.

There isn't much I can do to lift my own spirits on days like these. The only thing I know to do, really, is to cry out to Papa, 'please help me! I'm really scared and I feel all alone and lost. Please help me.'

Worshiping helps too, as odd as that sounds.

....Well, that, and dancing around my house like a maniac to my rockin' iTunes "Celebrate The 80s" mix.... but we won't go there right now....

When I listen to songs like Chris Tomlin's "Exalted (Yahweh)," or Tenth Avenue North's "Hallelujah" I am carried to a different place; a place near the throne and majesty and warm holiness of God, my Papa. I turn up the volume and just let the music remind me of His constant presence, and His unfathomable holiness and greatness.

I recently heard someone pray that God would raise us up above the current storms of life so that we could be at peace. As I listened I honestly found myself wholeheartedly disagreeing with this prayer. I don't want to be lifted up above my current storms. I want to find peace in the midst of the storms. I want to be able to rest in the care of God no matter what circumstances befall me. I don't want my trust and peace in Him to be situation-dependent.

These are days to be endured, I think, rather than soared above, if that makes sense. These hard days teach me to trust and rest in peace even when economic hurricanes and emotional tornadoes wreak havoc with the terrain of my life. They teach me to remember that my strength and hope come from God, not from my own perspective of my situation.... does that make sense?

So, this is me, today, enduring a hard day, worshiping Papa and Jesus, grateful for their love and lavish attention.... and hoping tomorrow brings a new job with it. But trusting that Papa has got me covered no matter what.

I'm drowning in the shallow end of the pool...

2009-01-27T21:27:09-06:00

I realized that tonight as I drove home from a meeting. I have been telling myself I'm drowning because I'm in over my head, I'm in deep and can't stay afloat. But the truth is I'm in the kiddie-pool; the shallow end of living.

I'm allowing fear and depression convince me the water is just too high, that I cannot go deep because I cannot handle it. I've let them convince me I am in the deep end and I'm drowning, so I just can't risk going any deeper.

But really, I'm just laying on the floor. If I will even just sit up I'll be okay.

"Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have!

"You can't worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you'll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can't worship God and Money both.

"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes" Matt 6:22-34 The Message

An Historic Night

2008-11-04T23:32:00-06:00

Whatever you may think about the candidates in this year's election; whatever you may think of the politics of the parties involved, you cannot deny this is an historic night!

The country once divided over slavery of another race has now elected as president a man from that same once-enslaved race. A country who lost a great president because of his determination to not only end slavery but keep the United States united has now elected as president a man for whom that great president so long ago died fighting to restore freedom and liberty.

Lincoln would be proud of that.

I have so often been troubled by the divisiveness that can arise between people simply because of one's skin color. I spent most of my early childhood completely colorblind. I had no idea that my best friend in kindergarten was "black" and I was not. I just knew I loved hanging out with her. Nor did I realize that one of my closest friends in jr high was Latina and I was not.... No idea. Yeah, I can be a little...blind at times. :) Until my sister received a big beat down by some girls from who school who did not like the color of our skin; who felt we owed them.... something... because we are white -- did it ever dawn on me that color matters to some people.

I hate that. I hate that there are those in this world who look down on others with a different color of skin, different ethnicity, different... whatever. I hate it.

I always thought that the goal of uniting in diversity was to not notice another's skin color; to be colorblind. But this last year I've come to realize that it's not about not noticing our skin color/ethnicity, it's about celebrating the differences that strengthen us as a whole.

Nicole C. Mullins said at the Women of Faith conference in September, "it's okay to notice someone's color. Just don't stop there." It was good to hear that from a woman "of color." Sometimes we need those who are different from us to acknowledge those differences and give us permission to do the same before we can relax and see beyond them.

I disagree with our new President-elect on nearly every issue and ideal he articulated during this past election season. I'm a die-hard libertarian/Austrian School of economics gal, so a Progressive agenda just doesn't sit right with me. Individual liberty trumps collectivism almost every time in my book.

So in that respect I struggled tonight; I struggled to be happy or excited for our country. Rather, I worry for her.

Yet, at the same time, I am deeply proud of my country. Deeply proud. What happened today is historic, and that deserves to be celebrated.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. -- The Declaration of Independence

No king succeeds with a big army alone,
      no warrior wins by brute strength.
   Horsepower is not the answer;
      no one gets by on muscle alone.

Watch this: God's eye is on those who respect him,
      the ones who are looking for his love.
   He's ready to come to their rescue in bad times;
      in lean times he keeps body and soul together.

I'm depending on God;
      he's everything I need.
   What's more, my heart brims with joy (!!)
      since I've taken for my own his holy name.
   Love us, God, with all you've got—
      that's what we're depending on. -- Psalm 33:16-22 (The Message)

Concision

2008-10-26T23:26:17-05:00

Me:
I learned a new word recently and I'm dying to use it!

Friend:
Ooooo!! I'm really good at this sort of stuff! What's the word?

Me (excitedly; can hardly contain it):
Concision. Isn't it just the greatest word EVER!! I love the way it just rolls off the tongue..... "concision." Say it! Doesn't it just sound so cool and intelligent? I love it! I want to write a post using it, or about it.

Friend:
Well, don't make it a long one.

Silence while I give her a dirty look.

Friend:
I'm just saying... prolixity* would not be appropriate in a post with such a title, don't you think?

More silence; continued glaring.

Friend:
I'm just saying...

*Full disclosure: She actually used the word "verbosity," but I felt that was just too banal for the post, so I changed it (writer's prerogative) to a more grandiloquent word.

Mark 5 - Shedding the Mantle of (my) Shame

2008-10-23T23:51:41-05:00

A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding. She had suffered a great deal from many doctors, and over the years she had spent everything she had to pay them, but she had gotten no better. In fact, she had gotten worse. She had heard about Jesus, so she came up behind him through the crowd and touched his robe. For she thought to herself, “If I can just touch his robe, I will be healed.” Immediately the bleeding stopped, and she could feel in her body that she had been healed of her terrible condition.

Jesus realized at once that healing power had gone out from him, so he turned around in the crowd and asked,“Who touched my robe?”

His disciples said to him, “Look at this crowd pressing around you. How can you ask, ‘Who touched me?’”

But he kept on looking around to see who had done it.

Then the frightened woman, trembling at the realization of what had happened to her, came and fell to her knees in front of him and told him what she had done.

And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.” -- vs 25 - 34

There's a saying: "act your way into feeling." For the longest time I didn't understand that phrase. I thought it encouraged deceit. Over the last year I've begun to truly apprehend what it means; I think I get it now.

I may not always feel forgiven; I may not always feel free from shame. But that doesn't change the fact that I am. I touched the hem of His garment and I have been made whole. That is the Truth that God speaks. I am free. So in those times that the feeling isn't there, when my emotions belie the Truth of who God says I am, I still need to act "as if" -- as if I felt it, as if I am convinced in the depths of my soul it is True. Because the fact is, it is.

I can choose whose voice I listen to; I can choose what I will believe. I never knew that before this year. I don't have to remain covered, buried, in the shame that has so enveloped me all my life just because I feel shame at this moment. I can choose to believe something different; choose to do something different.

So today I am. Right now I will. I will believe the Truth even though I don't feel it. I will act my way into feeling.

These Nicole C. Mullins songs have been on my iPod since I got back from Women of Faith last month. God used them to speak His love and infinite grace to me. They truly tell the story of my life; my shame-filled yet blessed-beyond-measure Life. And God continues to use them as reminders of the Truth of who I am in His eyes; and encourage me to keep acting my way into feeling. I thought I'd pass them along to you today, in case you need encouragement too.

One Touch

I Know My Redeemer Lives

Call On Jesus

Choices

2008-10-09T02:41:41-05:00

I've been trying to wrap my brain around how to express in words the deep emotions and thoughts I have regarding recent events. I've come to the conclusion that there is no concise way. There are times when words are insufficient; when they almost trivialize rather than explain.

I've been down this road before, emotionally speaking. I've dealt with unexpected tragedy, calamity, depression, disappointment. However, I've not dealt with it on such a large scale.

Where I am now is surrender; acceptance; and maybe a little serenity.

Look, I could go on and on at my anger and frustration over all that has happened to cause this current mess, and on and on about my fears for the future. But none of that will change reality.

We are in deep shit (pardon my french). We are in a recession and rapidly sliding headlong into a depression. And it's not nearly over yet; buckle up, guys. It's going to be a bumpy ride. And when it is finally over, life in the US will not be the same again; at least not in our lifetimes. The US itself may even cease to exist. We are ripe for attack from without and for tyranny from within.* Whether we implode or explode is ultimately irrelevant; what is relevant at this moment is that we have some decisions to make. And they may not be the ones you think.

A week and a half ago I posted a video in the (ungodly) early dawn hours. It was of Luci Swindoll talking about life, God's grace, and choices. I titled the post "This is the day the Lord has made... let us rejoice and be glad in it!" And I have to say, as the day progressed I thought that was an incredibly ironic title, and even more ironic post content, for such a day as that: an historic stock market drop of 777** points. I think God was really trying to get His point across to me. ;)

Here's the point: In that video Luci points out that God is always working, always moving, in everything that happens. He is always working things out for good for those who will just trust and rest in His grace, His love.

My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness. -- 2 Cor 12:9 The Message

I love one line Luci says; she says, "...the trouble with life is it's so daily; it just shows up and there it is, another day and we have to deal with it."

Ain't that the truth.

It can be incredibly taxing on those of us struggling with depression, addiction, the effects of trauma and abuse, mounting financial pressures.... the list is endless these days. I know people who have lost half of their retirement already; others who are about to lose their home; others who have already lost their job; and others who are fighting for their lives right now. I know the feeling of laying my head on the pillow at night, grateful I've made it through another day, and yet begging God as I drift off to sleep to take me Home during the night because I don't want to live anymore; I just want to go Home to eternal rest. I just want to be in His arms and not have to deal with this crap anymore. I know that feeling because I still struggle with it from time to time. And I know others who do too.

Luci, on the video, goes on to say that we can either be positive about another day showing up, or negative about it. We have a choice. She said she chooses to be happy, "because God in His goodness has given us His grace" to get through it.

Here's what I'm learning: When you choose to trust God, to rest in His grace and love even when He takes you into poverty, pain, illness, tragedy, trauma, catastrophe,... He shows up. And He infuses His strength and a sweet serenity into your soul. You're not going to run a marathon or jump and shout "praise Jesus!" You just find that you have enough; you have what you need to get through. It's not the way you wanted things to go; it's not how you planned it out, but you are okay, and you realize you are going to be okay even if you lose everything.

I find myself clinging to a lot of phrases I once found trite, shallow. One of the ones at the top of that list was that verse I quoted on September 29th, "This is the day the Lord has made..." blah blah blah. I always heard it from peppy, perpetually happy church-pod people. You know the type; those Christians who don't ever seem to get upset, or sad, or have a bad day; that no matter what happens they cheerily say, "Praise the Lord!"

Gag me.

But on September 29th I kept remembering not only the video I'd posted, but things I'd heard at the Women of Faith conference the weekend before.

Job is quoted as saying, in essence, "the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord," upon learning he had just lost everything he valued -- not just his wealth and possessions, but his children. ALL of them. I always had this feeling that Job was one of those church-pod people, at least at the beginning of the story, because it doesn't seem he was even sad. What is usually left out of the telling is that just before his infamous line, "Job stood up and tore his robe in grief. Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship." (Job 1:20)

He did the things one does when they are grieving deeply. He did not hold back his emotions, or put on a happy face. He did not pretend that all was peachy. I am convinced that he was sobbing, that falling to the ground wasn't so much in honor of God as it was out of utter agony of his darkest night of the soul. And he just figured, while I'm down here I might as well give God the praise He deserves. 'Cause He's still God and is therefore still worthy of praise no matter what happens to me.

I'm convinced it probably took him a hour or more to speak his famous words, and I'm convinced they were said through sobs of a grieving, anguished father:

“I came naked from my mother’s womb,
      and I will be naked when I leave.
   The Lord gave me what I had,
      and the Lord has taken it away.
   Praise the name of the Lord!” (vs 21)

I'm convinced that that last line was not spoken like a pod-person, all cheery and happy, but rather was spoken in raspy sobbing gasps; not because life is all sunshine and rainbows, but because God is still God and Job still trusted His grace and His love.

I no longer think of "this is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!" (Psalm 118:24) as a trite, annoying phrase that must be spoken with church-pod people syrupy-ness. It is now the cry of my soul every morning; through tears, through fear, through crankiness, through frustration, through anger, through whatever emotion I experience, my soul now cries, "Papa! You made this day, I will rejoice in YOU; that You are still God, and that You are still able and willing to restore me to sanity this day, regardless of what happens around me or to me. I will still praise You." Sometimes I sound like Whoopi Goldberg in "Ghost," when she's having a hard time letting go of the $4 million check: "I will!!" :) But I've discovered that even when I struggle to give it up for God, He honors it by showing up and bringing His strength and serenity with Him. And He even tells me He thinks I'm wonderful. :)

So here's the bottom line, as I see it:

We have a choice about how we face this unprecedented time in our history. We can get angry and depressed, rail against those we think are responsible and scream at God for the injustices He's allowing to happen to us. We can bury our heads in the sand and deny that anything is wrong or broken in our country. Or we can embrace life and make the most of every moment. It used to be said, "eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die." But I say enjoy every moment as if it is the best, most precious time you'll ever have; the last time you'll be able to what you are doing at that moment. Because it just may be.

Live in the moment, guys. Live day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time and suck the marrow out of every second of life. Tomorrow will probably be worse than today, so enjoy today to the fullest! (how's that for positive thinking! ;)) But seriously... Live! Find the joy in the simple, ordinary things. And when you find yourself struggling with fear or anger, or denial or apathy, cry out to God to give you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change. Because He will show up.

I couldn't end without including the scene in "Ghost" to which I refer. It's at the end of this clip -- but the whole thing is worth watching. I love Whoopi! (and this is soooo me in this scene!)

*The conclusions I have come to are based on solid, hard-core research. You may vehemently disagree with me, but that will not change my opinion of what is happening, why, and where we are headed. I have been doing a lot of research, a lot of study, a lot of digging and searching -- which I could not even summarize here without writing a twenty-five page thesis paper, complete with another five pages of bibliography and citations, which would most assuredly bore all of you to tears. :) Not to mention frustrate me to have to post all those links and sources....

** It hit me with incredible humor tonight as I wrote this.... 777 is allegedly "God's number." Seven tends to represent completeness in Scripture, so it is sometimes touted by religious folks that God's number is 7; and three sevens in a row is a trinity, don'cha know. :) Yes, that's right folks, it is MY fault the market crashed on Sep 29th.God was working overtime to teach me an object lesson -- that He is truly able and willing to take care of me no matter what happens, if I will just trust and rest in Him. Sorry ya'll had to get caught in my lesson!

So This is How Liberty Dies

2008-10-03T17:50:00-05:00

With cheers and thunderous applause. (Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith)

At 1:21 p.m., applause and cheers echoed through the House chamber as the number of “aye” votes crossed the threshold needed for passage with just seconds remaining in the official 15-minute voting period. -- NYTimes.com Oct 3, 2008