A Wanderer's Thoughts...

Squishy Squish!

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 11:39:00 +0000

The phrase Squishy Squish sounds so round. Say it and wiggle your ass and it'll actually seem to be a perfect fit. I'm going to do a thesis on how the sound of hearing certain phrases has shapes to them.

On another train of thought, Squishy squish also sounds like the Housie announcement for Eight Eight as Two Fat Ladies 88.

Happy Birthday, Nila!

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 11:22:00 +0000

The child climbed up to the 21st step,
With a little push from her mother.
Her fears had all been thrown aside,
The love received, only deeper.

She learned to walk a step at a time,
She was a potty-trained pro.
But the one thing she could never learn
Was how to cross the road.

My baby will not forget me,
A most beautiful world have we made:
Of memories, smiles and talks of sex,
We'll be together through old age.

I love you, my baby =D

New blog for a 366-day project! :)

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 17:20:00 +0000

I've decided to stop letting myself believe that I am capable of having a writer's block every few weeks. So, as an attempt to get more regular at writing and understand my writing style a little better, I am attempting this 366 day project. One blog post a day come what may. Prose, poetry or a photograph I clicked on that day (The third option because I feel like a shutterbug on some days). Here'e the link: http://rohinikejriwal.blogspot.com

The winding, chilly path to Peace

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 04:36:00 +0000

Everybody has to agree that they have those one or two saying or words that they swear by. I'm not going to quote others on their 'driving words' in life because I'm trying this thing called 'writing' and not 'reporting' after a very long time. This basically involves me writing down my own thoughts and not using others' quotes to string a couple of coherent words together in the inverted pyramid format.

For me, I picked up on Carpe diem for example, after watching Dead Poets Society. It means 'Seize the day' in Latin, which is just to say that one should live in and for the moment to make their life extraordinary. It's so simple and yet so hard to actually adopt into your life. Trust me.

And then, I found two other lines that I currently swear by - two contradicting beliefs that have left me conflicted with myself of late. I used to live by #1 for a long time. And only as recently as last week, I heard about #2, which is when the whole self conflict began.

#1 - "Happiness is only real when shared." That's a quote by Christopher McCandless, the guy whose life has been portrayed in Into The Wild. It's a film everybody has to watch though it could be viewed as something silly to have done in the first place or too idealistic. That's your perception and I'll leave you to that. R.I.P Alexander Supertramp (which is what Chris calls himself in it.) Also, read the book by Jon Krakeur tracing back McCandless' life before or after you're done with the film. It's actually one of those rare films which is as good, if not better than the book. If you have time, read my other longer post on it actually - click here.

#2 - "Something is yours and yours alone till you share it with someone else." After that, it becomes somebody else's. That's a quote Parvathy Baul gave me when I was interacting with her for an article. It makes so much sense. I don't even know what context she spoke about it that evening. But the next morning when I woke up, that was the only thought on my mind.

So that's my life in short. A very very rough sketch.

But this morning, I experienced a convergence point. I visited Nandi Hills to watch the sunrise from the top. I was just moved by the amount of awe and wonder that Nature can create in a person. It truly was the perfect sunrise. A morning of frozen fingers, one rupee chai on the road, foggy winding roads, silhouettes and that perfect sunrise. And then it struck me. My little moment of epiphany: The happiness had been shared because I would suggest others to visit the place after me; but that experience would always be mine because that sunrise would never be seen and felt by any other soul in this vast universe the way I did. And I was at peace.

I purposely chose the blurry picture to leave that sunrise as just that for you, someone who wasn't there.

A lost voice

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 17:34:00 +0000

A singer driven by love and passion. A bhakt. A being who could give back to the world only what the creator had given her: a voice. She once lost that voice. She went to a healer in a mystic land and sought his help. He told her to sit in a hut by the sea on a mat and let the water wash her and allow her to be cured. She did so for 15 days. The sand latched itself onto her dreadlocks, the water drenched her robe, the salt scraped her skin.

But she stayed put. She stayed put in the hut and allowed nature to take its course. Someone was appointed to make sure the sea did not wash her away along with it. He gave her food and ironically, more water.

In 15 days, her voice was back and she never had to go looking for it again.

The full Marko Saaresto (Poets of the Fall vocalist) interview

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:30:00 +0000

I wrote an article for Deccan Herald on the Great Indian Octoberfest which took place in Bangalore in November this year. I also happened to get a 6 minute long interview with Marko Saaresto, the Poets of the Fall vocalist (They were headlining the 3 day music festival). =)

The published article on Octoberfest: http://www.deccanherald.com/content/204994/when-rained-bands.html

The published article on Marko: http://www.deccanherald.com/content/204998/our-love-music-keeps-us.html

Marko Saaresto

The original full-length transcribed interview with Marko:

Me: How does it feel to be back in India?

Marko: It feels really great. I wouldn't miss this for the world. It's a really great place to come and play. The people are really enthusiastic. They love us. We love them, obviously. My mind was really blown. You have people singing the songs and you're like 'whoa!' The audiences really received.

Me: Did you enjoy Bangalore so far?

Marko: Yeah, we drove around the town today and we went shopping for a while. There's some great handicrafts. I bought some silver bracelets, which are really cool. I really liked it

Me: Did you try out the local food?

Marko: Yeah, we had great lunches and dinners at our hotel with 40 different dishes there to choose from as well as the desserts. I ate everything! I am a spice fan and if anything's spicy, I tend to like that.

Me: POTF did an online release of Alchemy Volume 1, a compilation album in January this year. What is the next album that you're working on?

Marko: There are two new songs for Alchemy and we're also working on the next album, which should be out next year sometime. I'm not going to tell you what it's called.

Me: Do you feel that the music industry is commercially viable and self-sustaining?

Marko: Oh yes, definitely. There is money if you get to that certain level. I hope we're there.

Me: In the official videos of your tracks, does the band have any creative liberty or do you just finish a song and give it to the director to interpret?

Marko: No, we've always thought that the videos are a very important part of our music. And so, everytime we pick a song for a video, we all write down our ideas, sit and discuss them, and then talk to the director about it. So it's always a colloboration with the director.

Me: What is the one thing that keeps the band together?

Marko: I think it's the love for the music. It's a need to express yourself in a way and then, we're all really good friends. The chemistry works in the studio and while we write the song. Everyone has their artistic views and there are clashes sometimes and that's the educational part. If we had clashes all the time, we wouldn't be a band.

Me: What's the inspiration to the songs?

Marko: It comes from everywhere and anywhere-from music and also from daily occurences like when we're touring or what happens to us when we're live. They have an emotional background and that's something that usually brings out the music as well.

Me: The band uses the violin sometimes and the minor key very often, which is not conventionally 'rock.' Why is that?

Marko: Because it speaks to us. We've tried the major key many many times but all those songs have ended up for someone else and not for us. We wrote them but we gave them to a different artiste. We love the minor key.

Me: In one line, what would you tell your fans in Bangalore?

Marko: Enjoy your life!

Photostory: Shutterbug Bangalore Escapades Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 18:26:00 +0000

Seeds of change

Give me a tiny little push, please

Shiny disco balls

The inconsistent wave

Shook me all night long

Fluorescent Emerald

Shadows in the day

Paperback Desires

The City of Joy: Lansdowne Market

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 09:06:00 +0000

The freshest garlands in the market. My hands are a shade of orange now because I had to take out the petals for decorations.

The elegant looking pandal near Hazra crossing. I love the fact that there are more cycles than cars in the photograph.

Streamers of all sorts to add color to one's life (I picked up the silver, purple & blue ones for myself)

Look at the blue & yellow in this Kala Ma pandal. Such rich hues.

Patakas being sold by a little girl whose expressions are as explosive as firecrackers themselves. See! *bang*

I call it the One Stop Shop. Everything seemingly related to pujas was available here!

My long(est)-term relationship: Music

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 15:03:00 +0000

This is going to be my official speech at the launch of my book on the journey to becoming the best guitarist in the world (Okay, in India. Okay fine, in Calcutta. Okay, just in my own mind.) at some point in life after years of learning. It's like a reverie of how I became so into the music scene as I currently am. Just treat it as a dream post of a sort.
(Note: I do not know how to play the guitar at all currently but recently decided that I will buy one soon with my savings and learn.)

Yes, I know I started playing only at 20 while most others already had their act together by then. They all started when they were 9 or 13 or 16. Only a few pushed it till the 20s and couldn't recognize their inner passion and potential till then. But it was just that drive at that age. There I was on 25th october, 2011 sitting back and reflecting on how I need music playing around me all the time and not being able to get how some people I know don't like music. Music had become one of the most essential things in my life.

It was the trip to Kerala in class 6 where I heard Indian Ocean's Kandisa and really enjoyed it. I went through my Britney Spears and Sugababes and then the Beatles and Pink Floyd phases like everyone does at different points before/after that. But I always knew that there was something to it than I could fathom.

Then, The Tossed Salad (TTS) happened and I had to review Ashima Aiyer's music. It was the first time I dwelled on the melody and lyrics and what goes into it an individual song and its depth and from there, there was no looking back. There was more listening, new sounds, research, trial and error, and discussions and there was just more everyday to learn about music, and specifically, the music scene in India. It was a crazy rush everytime and very fulfilling as an experience. I would like to stop here for a second and really thank the Indian music scene for picking up the way it has, especially so in the recent years. There's just so much content, both good and bad, and so much potential to actually improve and reach a standard that cannot be countered by other countries. This is also excellent because of India's rich cultural diversity which a lot of the Indian bands retain in their sound. (I'm thinking Advaita, Swarathma and Indian Ocean as I write this.)

Then, the interviews for TTS started and I started getting better with each interview and started thoroughly enjoying the conversations with the artistes concerned. I'd interviewed Sahej Bakshi aka Dualist Inquiry once and I completely forgot my prepared questionnaire and just explored his music and all I wanted to know about it to understand it fully and then wrote the piece. He claims he liked it. It was just the involvement I felt while thinking about that piece of writing and it made me feel really good inside since I want to be a journalist in the future.

And that's the best part. There's been many interactions and they have all taught me something new each time and managed to only got more and more fascinated. And it was more like a fascination for life through the music because it was giving me this natural high of a sort all the time, which could only be fueled by other intoxicants which were therefore, not the necessity.

And then, NH7 weekender was happening that year and I missed it in its first year and had even stayed off Facebook for those 3 days knowing I'd be wanting to kick myself with the updates about how 'awesome' it was. I traveled to Bombay for the announcement party at Razz with the most amazing line-up and the entire show was pretty much orchestrated by Warren Mendonsa (Blackstratblues). It was a milestone for me and ever since, I have compared gigs to it. (Note: This speech is for the future and I would've attended Weekender by then but currently, I'm just super excited to attend it in 23 days). I volunteered with them and helped in Marketing and Promotions (I sold 6 tickets, including 3 people I convinced to travel to Pune from Calcutta for just those 3 days) and also with the NH7 wire, a magazine with NH7 as a part of TTS. It was all just overwhelming and seemed bloody right while writing for it.

And coming to how I got to where I am today. Everything that I just explained drove me to want to finally understand the other side to the story and be the one making the music to give me the clearest understanding of a piece of music when I hear it. It was after focussing on Mr Woodnote's feet work the loop pedal at a live gig at High Spirits, Pune and understand the many layers to his music that I wanted to pick up an instrument, any instrument, and just devour it completely in the sense of knowing each and every sound and combination that can possibly come out of it.

And for those of you who are curious, once I'm done with the guitar, I'm aiming to delve deep into the intricacies of the saxophone. That's all. Thank you for pushing me in ways unknown to you or me and making me explore this wonderful field of music, this magical field of opportunities.

*takes a bow and goes and hugs Mummy who is sitting at the front row*

Shopping for the Diwali puja

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 07:00:00 +0000

Rangoli: A treat for the eyes

Diyas of all shapes, colours and sizes for the puja

Ganesh & Lakshmi murtis (idols) on display

The little rui (cotton) seller boy

Incense, roli-chawal, kapur and an assortment of other requisites for the puja

The kheel-batasha prasad (offerings to the Gods)

All these photographs were taken on my phone camera and are therefore, not as clear as I would have liked them to be. Still, they should hopefully capture the essence of the marketplace for all the Diwali puja items. No firecrackers were in that area of the market and so, are not included.

The Moth

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 19:17:00 +0000

I see it outside my window, struggling with all its might to get in. It reminds me an awful lot of myself but the only difference is that it can fly and I can't even though there are days when I wish I could. It is trapped in the outside world while I am trapped inside. But it still has more freedom than me. It wants in; I want out. I may as well admit here that though I do feel liberated, at the end of the day, I do not get the liberation that I seek.

I used to be good at a game of Hide and Seek as a kid. Today, if I hide, I can't look myself in the eye in my own reflection. Today, if I switch off the light so that I can't see the moth any longer knowing that it still is there despite the temporary darkness, I know that it has won and I have lost.

Maadhyam: The revolution is here

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 09:49:00 +0000

The second edition of my college fest, Maadhyam 2011 is finally here. After all the toil and trouble, three days of fun and excitement is expected. Day 1 will see an inter-college fashion show at Phoenix Mall, Day 2 with a band competition at Phoenix folled by a dance competition at the college auditorium and finally, and this one's the best, Ankur Tewari & the Ghalat Family on Saturday, Day 3! I can't wait. If you're in Pune tomorrow onwards, make sure to drop in at the Vimannagar Symbiosis campus. Enough and more entertainment :) And passes for the gig are only for 100 bucks. And that's just awesome for such good music!

Random Tweets: All in a night's work

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 18:17:00 +0000

These were all tweets over a span of an hour on the night of October 5th. Yes, I was extremely bored.

Let it swallow you in, as you lie there waiting. Would you even want to even try and get out? You know and so do I.
I wish to learn the language of cockroaches someday. And escape the vindictive wrath of humanity with my fellow brothers and sisters.
Plain and simple curiosity. Questions. Answers. Disappointment. Truth. Acceptance. Repeat cycle. The end.
You believe in unicorns and expect me to dismiss my beliefs?
You switch off the light as you walk inside. I lie there, terrified. It's a rolling sea outside. Don't hold me, you are not mine.
Sleepless in a city unknown to mankind. I hope the astronauts get here with the Martian brownies soon. And diet coke!
The depth is too much but drowning isn't even an option. Melt. Crash. Reconstruct. Grasp. Twitch. Yelp. Tighten. Stop. Revive.
The towel soaks me dry. As does vengeance and pity and loneliness.
Beauty is always overplayed or underplayed and never correctly estimated.
It doesn't belong to you and never will. Let go. Or could it be that you never knew it all along?
You fell asleep and I was numb.I tried to hurt you to awake you but you would not budge.You just lay there silent as before. #footfellasleep
It was just a glimpse. But it ended before I even shut my eyes. And without my knowing, someone pressed the Restart button.
Draped in the attire you chose, I stand. Hopeless and carefree, a step at a time. They come, they go. Would you care to stay?

An ode to Rishi Valley

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 18:38:00 +0000

I wrote this on a bus to an ashram in Maharashtra as I compared the freshness of rural air there to that which I had felt on my way from Bangalore to my school in the hills, Rishi Valley School in Andhra Pradesh:

It's the same familiar air,

Hills of that same terrain,

But the only difference remains-

That it really isn't quite it.

Those queasy bumps on the road are amiss,

The toll we pay's much more.

It seems to me that all it is

Is the slow passage of time.

I want to believe it's the same Sun setting,

I want to feel as free;

But heart in heart I know the truth-

The long established hard hitting fact.

It was just a journey I embarked on.

It became much more than my world.

As two worlds parted, a new emerged,

I, a by-stander, just stood and watched.

Blog Award

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 20:06:00 +0000

I just got a 'Blog Award' from someone in the Blogger community known as Kitten.
Check it out here. (Quoting her: "Now to forwarding this award..I'll choose my recent favourites:" )
Thank you! :)

Scratch Off Challenge (I am currently suffering from boredom)

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 12:03:00 +0000

I stumbled across this "scratch off" challenge on a blog and decided to do it for my blog too. Basically, what you do is you strike off ("scratch off") what holds true for you. And I'm off!

Appearance
I have/had piercings besides the ears.
I want piercings besides the ears.
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
~~I want a tattoo.~~
~~I can be self-conscious about my appearance.~~
I have/had braces.
I have more than two piercings.

Embarrassment
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I’ve had my pants rip in public.
~~I’ve touched something sharp/hot/etc to see if it would hurt.~~

Health
~~I’ve gotten stitches.~~
I’ve broken or dislocated a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I’ve had chicken pox.
I've had malaria.
I've had typhoid.
I've had jaundice.

Travel
~~I’ve been on a plane.~~
I’ve been to US.
I’ve been to Europe.
I've been to at least one other country.
I've never been out of my country.

Experiences
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve slapped someone.
I’ve kissed someone underwater.
~~I’ve chugged something.~~
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a musical.
I’ve auditioned for something.
I’ve been on stage.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
I’ve pranked someone.
~~I’ve ridden in a taxi.~~

Honesty / Crime
I’ve been threatened to be arrested.
I’ve broken a law.
I’ve done something I promised someone I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I’ve sneaked out.
I’ve lied about my whereabouts.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve been in a fist fight.

Death
I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I’ve seen someone/something die.
Someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide.
I have attempted suicide.
I’ve thought about suicide before.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself. (I will do this soon. Interesting idea!)

Materialism
I own over 10 music CDs.
I own over 10 novels.
I own over 5 electronic gadgets.
I’m obsessed with anime/manga.
I collected comic books.
I own a lot of makeup.
I own gaming console(s).
I own a car.
I own a bike.
I thrive on compliments.
I thrive on hate.

Random
~~I can sing low key.~~
I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.
~~I watch the news occasionally or always.~~
I like to kill bugs.
~~I sing in the shower.~~
I’m a morning person.
I’m a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
~~I care about grammar.~~
I love spam.
I’ve copied more than 30 CDs in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, blue, red, black, purple, or orange.
I would wear pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can’t sleep if there’s a bug/insect in the room.
I’m really ticklish.
I like chocolate.
I bite my nails.
~~I’m good at remembering names.~~
I’m good at remembering dates.
My memory sucks.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

People
...used to ask if I was anorexic/bulimic.
~~...called me fat.~~
...say I’m skinny.
...have said I’m ugly.
...have said I’m pretty.
...have spread rumors about me.
...force me to eat.
~~...say I eat too much.~~
...say I eat too little.
~~...say I eat too fast.~~
...say I eat too slow.
...have called me a genius.
...have given me gifts.

Eating
I’ve lost weight.
I’ve gained weight.
I’m at my thinnest.
I’m at my biggest.
I’ve lost weight and kept it off.
~~I’ve lost weight, but gained it back.~~
My weight affects my mood. A lot.
I diet.
~~I’m vegan/vegetarian.~~
I exercise.
I’ve fainted from exhaustion.

Family
I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve planned to run away from home before.
I’ve run away from home.
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want kids.
I’ve had kids.
I’ve lost a child.

Relationships
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’m a swinger.
~~I'm single.~~
I'm in a relationship.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I have/had a friend with benefits.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
~~I don't like to depend on others.~~
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
Someone has/had feelings for me when I didn’t have them back.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
~~I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.~~
~~I’ve kept something from a past relationship.~~

Sexuality
I’m a cuddler.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
~~I’ve hugged a stranger.~~
I’ve kissed a stranger.

Bad times
I regularly drink.
I can’t swallow pills.
I can swallow numerous pills at a time without difficulty.
I’ve been diagnosed with depression at some point.
I have/had anxiety problems.
~~I shut others out when I’m upset.~~
I don’t have anyone to talk to when I’m upset.
I have taken/take anti-depressants.
I’ve slept an entire day before.
I’ve plotted revenge.

This was actually fun. Random, but fun. Try it out? You might just feel more at peace with yourself.

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 11:47:00 +0000

A glimpse of Calcutta, the city of Joy.

Shantiniketan: A photostory

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 19:40:00 +0000

My favorite part of the place: Rikshaw rides. In the evening, we were on it and passed forested areas where fireflies pretty much enveloped entire trees. One of the most beautiful journeys in my life.

This little boy was selling these handicraft items at the local Saturday bazaar. This wink-smile caught my eye. As did the little pink chappals and the bow and arrows that reminded me of younger, more innocent days.

This Baul singer was the most co-operative subject to photograph. He was singing Ekla Cholo Re in the most authentic Bengali way possible. A sheer pleasure to hear.

The local bazaar was a magical place. There were Baul singers sitting under the shade of trees playing by themselves. Some had audiences, some didn't. The vermilion in his turban stood out so prominently against the greenery. It just had to be captured.

One of the last conversations that I had on my trip was on the train back to Calcutta because I slept on the train after standing near the door for a while, something I always do on train journeys. One of my oldest friends and I chatting away after two cups of coffee standing there. Not the best time to capture us but still a happy memory.

That lingering memory

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 09:10:00 +0000

It's that faint hidden smile that only you could spot in the crowd that you miss. You came and left when you had to and that seemed all right at the time. I won't even try and understand why because everybody always has their side to each story, their own set of justifications and beliefs. But to what extent can you keep trying to hold onto that memory? Its already just a faded thought disappearing into what already was its emptiness. It never was more than just that lingering something in your mind, in your thoughts. And that's why such precious little is left of it. Look at it. How much is there and how much was there to begin with if only this is left? Was it ever truly there? Or another figment of your imagination, whatever that is. Can you still get that same scent or is it just an association that you impose onto your senses and bribe them to put it all together to fit the puzzle's pieces, if only for the shortest while. I wish I could remember to remember. I wish the memories were clearer. Sleep takes it all away and I wish I had never shut those eyes...

Two fools in love

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 20:09:00 +0000

A friend of mine (first in college) bought a synthesizer recently and asked me to write funny sappy lyrics for him to compose something to. The theme given: love and hope, two concept that I've become completely unfamiliar with. Hence, this.

No clear direction to take,
No balance to keep me still,
But I still keep on going,
To see where this might lead.

I pause and think,
It all comes back.
I picked you that day
To share that dance.

The first time our hands touched,
The way our eyes met,
The spark of yesterday,
It's all coming back to me.

There are times when I feel this isn't,
This isn't the perfect I always dreamed,
This isn't quite what I wanted,
It's not as easy as it used to be.

But then you come and make me smile,
You hold my sweaty hands,
You fill my life with surprises,
You make it all seem so damn nice.

I want to believe you're not really mine,
But there's no point kidding anyone;
I'm a fool, a fool in love,
With another fool like me.

Chorus: (don't know where it'll go)
I love you,
You love me,
We're not what we used to be.
But one hot kiss,
You'll make my dreams come true,
Now let me see what to do to you

Nightmares

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 19:40:00 +0000

Twisting and turning,
Seeing it again and again,
It won't go this easily,
I've always lost this game.

Beyond my mind's capacity,
This world unknown unfurls,
Taking me to the pits of hell,
Taking me through a slow fall.

Disintegrating within me-
My insides churn and flow,
It's almost as if I can feel
My intestines slowly grow.

Expansions and contractions,
Destroying every part of me,
They grab and pull and tear and hit,
And all I can do is stare.

Crawled into the fetal position,
I try and wish them away,
But I know that it'll make them only
For a prolonged time stay.

I check for the monster under my bed,
I repeat the unsaid prayers,
But the only thing that's left to do-
Is to accept it's all in my head.

An entry from my ('clean' house) floor's diary

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 20:22:00 +0000

Yesterday, it was all but through layers that I could try and see the rest of the world. Layers and layers of dust had been gathering over my poor body and no one had bothered to help me overcome my eye's inability to see clearly. Normally, there's some random witch aka the 'bai' (Code word for the Bai The Way, I'm A Witch Association) who comes with her broom and removes the accumulated much once a day. She was dismissed from her services yesterday. All the books I've read always told me that witches are the villains but it is NOT true, I tell you! They are wonderful and so strong and brave. God bless the witches!

Today, one of my regular users decided to be the witch and remove the blackness off me. I had heard some talk about someone's mother arriving because of which, this once-in-a-blue moon ordeal had to be done. I did not understand why that meant that I'd be paid sudden attention to but either way, I was okay with that. I was actually beaming with pride aka shining aka sparkly white. That was until the everyday routine inevitably came into play-pizza crumbs thrown at me with vengeance, water droplets to make me feel colder than I already do and to top it off, a truck load of hair strands strewn about me as if to somehow decorate and enhance my short-lived former glory.

I learnt something today: It is better not to expect much kindness from the owner who pays a fairly huge sum of Rs 15,000 a month to tread on you. Also, the floor is always cleaner on the other side.

Oh, I almost forgot, I made up a new poem today on my pitiable life:
Shoes may come, Shoes may go, But the unwashed clothes pile that rests on me, Is definitely here to stay.

The beauty of words

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 21:26:00 +0000

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion."

— Henry David Thoreau

A Man She Knew

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 20:18:00 +0000

There are different ways to find one’s true self – sitting on the top of a hill contemplating your life, doing something you find a passion in or just when you reach that comfort zone with someone where you know that there is no pretence. If there is someone with whom you have had that sort of intimacy, it is rare and ought to be preserved.

They shared that. They were friends and knew each other pretty darn well. She’d scare him by predicting what he was about to say. He would name her ‘Psy-Ro’ for a crazy like that which he did not realize was predictable because of his very attribute of being a typical guy. He’d want to marry her because she knew the name of the rides in his favourite childhood computer game. She’d want to text him because she saw idiotic kids falling down while trying, very, trying, hard, trying, to, trying, rollerblade. ‘Trying’ being the key word in the previous sentence, the attempts were ‘epic fails’, as the kids these days like to refer to it as.

But they enjoyed talking, be it on the occasional phone call while walking home because you’re bunking college, over texts throughout the day (mostly from class), or chatting online on Skype because Facebook had too many people who were dying to talk to the charming ‘boy’ in this friendship. The conversations never seemed to run dry, someone was often called a ‘cartoon’ because of her weird antics, and food talk always seemed to please both parties. It was a nice kind of friendship between these two ‘almost strangers’. They had known of each others’ existence and had even met once in the past and been in the same space on another ‘once’. But they had never really spoken to each other. When they finally did, Subway talk sealed the bond. When the two met, there was another story to tell...

There were cheesy memories created. Smoke and colors passed in the wind. Music was in the air. There was even artificial rain. But he did not ask her to dance, for he knew she had two left feet. She watched him though, dancing away, hardly recognizable. It was a face, a phase she knew she wouldn't get over. There were silences that followed, owing to penguins on the road that he had to go meet. King Penguins at that! But she kept writing to him, telling him about her days, monotonous as they may be. It was nice how the two had to talk every night, regardless of circumstances that may hamper that normalcy in their lives. She went away for a while. So did he. But the communication never stopped.

And soon, she was back in his life in person. He picked her up, almost from the airport, and showed him places she had not seen despite being in the city for long enough. When she was low and having the worst day of her life, he showed up and tried to take her out for dinner. They did go for the dinner but she didn't allow him to pay for her. Why? Gender equality and to not let him be a chauvinistic pig, of course. He had much to learn from her, you see. Not like she didn't from him. It worked both ways. He cheered her up that night over delicious pasta by reminding her of her problem in a really messed up funny way. It worked, somehow, to her surprise. She actually smiled! He did get a kick in the ass after that but that was bound to happen. They met once again before he went away again. It was at a music concert that she had been aching to go for. She told him the songs she loved and the ones that she didn't as much. He paid careful attention despite the slices of pizza that tempted him as he listened. At the end of the concert, he hugged her and left.

She missed him. But she knew he'd come back. Soon, apparently. He could have surprised her and not told her the dates of his return. But then, how would his very deflated ego boost up without her constantly telling him to 'come soon?' She would love it if he just showed up near her house and called her down to surprise her...Just saying. :)

7 months of knowing each other and actually talking almost everyday. Forever friends? (Lame ending was expected!)

My Interview on BookChums

noreply@blogger.com (Rohini) — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 19:34:00 +0000

Here's a short excerpt from my interview taken by www.bookchums.com after 'Down The Road' came out. It felt strange answering it but it's funny, in retrospect:

How was the experience editing Down The Road? How were the drafts you received? What did you look for while compiling the collection?
To say the least, it was a very exciting and new experience for me to edit Down The Road. I wasn’t really sure how difficult it would be but just took the plunge when Ahmed asked me to co-edit it with him.

Some of the drafts I received had little or no errors, while others required a little more working on. It worked on a feedback mechanism, where I would track the changes as I edited and would send it to the author. After he/she went through it and agreed to those changes or didn’t, it would be sent back to me and then the re-editing would start and this process would continue until the final copy was ready.

I did not select the stories in the collection and hence, the question of compiling the collection doesn’t arise.

Read the full interview here.
(P.S.It's a really bad photograph used!)