Today, is one of those rare days when I feel like I finished and followed through with what I set out to do.

It’s so weird.

And tiring.

I don’t think I’ll do it again for a few weeks days because my eyes burn and not in a good way.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

I’m giving away a $50 gift certificate to my store, Good for the Kids. Go, enter, take advantage of me.

also…

I wrote a tastylicious-ish post for Uptake about some Thanksgiving dinner buffets in Orlando. Now I’m hungry. And I’m also considering skipping the annual family turkey dinner and sending my avatar on a stick in my place. Most of them won’t notice.

also…

I wrote an asshole post on Aiming Low.

©2009 A Whole Lot of Nothing. All Rights Reserved. Steal my stuff, I breakayourface.

You can’t hide.

It’s coming no matter what you think you can do with your Jedi Mind Tricks.

HOLIDAY SHOPPING SEASON
IS
HERE

My store, Good for the Kids, is here to help. You’re welcome.

I’ve put together a quick & easy Holiday Shopping Guide to make it super duper simple to find the best toys and gifts for your kids and the kids in your life. Again, you’re welcome.

For kids from newborns to toddlers to preschoolers to young elementary kids, I have the perfect presents ready to ship for free. Yup. Free Shipping for the holidays. You’re totally welcome. And awesome. You’re completely awesome. And that shirt is super cute on you!

Newborn-1 Year Brand New Baby	1-2 Year Olds Toddlers	3-4 Year Olds Preschoolers	4-8 Year Olds Young Elementary

Now for the super-cool stuff.

GIVEAWAY!

I’m giving away a $50 gift certificate to Good for the Kids. Use it however you wish.

Bonus: Free Shipping. That means you can buy more.
Double Bonus: Use a coupon like this one for 20% off through Nov 16th: nov4blog. (Anyone can use it. Even you.) That means you can buy even MORE and buy NOW. If you buy now and you’re the big wiener winner, I’ll totally refund your payment. Triple. Bonus.

How to enter:

Leave a comment below with the name of your favorite item from Good for the Kids. Leave up to 3 comments per day for the duration of the giveaway using the methods below.

YOU MUST LEAVE THE LINK to your TWEET/BLOG POST/STUMBLE in the comments below. Use only one link per comment or you’ll be cast out as spam. No soup for you.

Increase your chances by

• •Twittering about the discount and/or giveaway from your own Twitter account.
• •Following @goodforthekids or @alotofnothing on Twitter.
• •Blogging about this discount and/or giveaway with a link back to here on your own blog.
• •Stumbling this post.
• •Sharing this giveaway using any of the social media icons at the bottom of the post (those down there).

The giveaway will be open through Tuesday, November 10th, at 11:59pm EST. The lucky duck winner will be notified via email, on this post, and on Prizey.net.

Good luck!

©2009 A Whole Lot of Nothing. All Rights Reserved. Steal my stuff, I breakayourface.

NINETEEN NINETY-FOUR

I remember when my mom bought our first internet-capable computer. We were high-teching it with 14.4 kbit/s. FAST. Super-fast slow. I still hear the whining, bliping, and screeching in my dreams nightmares.

It was super-cool to chat with people I’d never met. At 17, I wasn’t afraid of talking to molesters or stalkers yet. Message boards were cool. We were learning online lingo together.

LOL
WTF
ROTF
ROTFLMMFAO

The basics.

Since that time, social media has morphed into a constant conversation of quickly-typed messages back and forth and with everyone else online all at the same time. There is a different language on the intertubes than IRL.

The acronyms and cutesy terms born on the parenting message boards have creeped into the blogosphere and into my Twitter stream. There are just some acronyms that need to die. They need to be put out of my their misery. They need to DIE.

They are NOT OK.

DD/DS – Dear Daughter/Dear Son
It’s hard for me to even type them, they’re so skeevy.
Options: kid, child, son, daughter, spawn, result of breeding, seed, person who calls me mom/dad, ankle biter

DH – Dear Husband
I may have to vomit having just typed that. I love my husband dearly, but to refer to him as a “dear” anything? He might have me maimed.
Options: husband, sir, spouse, spousal equivalent, betrothed, other half, better half (for use by men only), bed mate, person-whom-I-hump, that guy

Baby Dance – Having Sex
Really? How can you be taken seriously in bed when you refer to your adult fun time as doing a “baby dance”? Even if your purpose for the horizontal mambo is to pro-create, don’t refer to it in any way using the word “baby.” NOT OK.
Options: sex, making love (blech), sexy time, business time, naked wrestling, doing the nasty, playing Hide the Sausage, scissor grind, going down

In summation, can we please put a moratorium on the above acronyms/cutesy terms to rest.

Kill them.

Make them dead.

Unfollow anyone who uses these terms.

Take them out of your reader.

They should be taught a lesson in abandonment that they should never, ever use these stupid-ass terms again.

Are you with me in the War on Stupid Acronyms and Cutesy Internet Terms (WOSAACIT)?

What are other words and names you use you’d like to suggest? Bring them forth and prosper.

©2009 A Whole Lot of Nothing. All Rights Reserved. Steal my stuff, I breakayourface.

How’s it going?

Me? I’m good. Tired, but good. (Thanks for asking!)

Just got back from a trip. More on that later in the week.

The kids are fine. Too smart for Patrick me. Growing like weeds. Eating like anorexic birds. Acting like monkeys.

Business is slow. Like, dumb slow. Like, I-may-need-to-sell-pictures-of-my-boobies, slow. And trust me, that ain’t pretty.
(If you wanna help out in any way, ie. tell your friends, buy stuff yourself, etc., I would totally hump your leg. For serious. Send me your leg, and I’ll video myself humping it. What? I can’t afford to come to YOU to hump your leg. Didn’t you just see where I said business is slow? Dumb slow? Anyway, send your leg, I’ll hump it.)

Weather here is stupid. High of “85″ today. I quote the “85″ because when we got in the car today, the thermometer said 95. That’s stupid. It’s effing November. Highs were in the 50s in Boston & NY. Can someone please contact Mother Nature and slap her for me? She needs to wake the eff up and turn the thermostat to “cool.” That, or call Al Gore and tell him he’s right.

We went trick-or-treating last night. I’m shocked by the number of houses that DON’T have their light on for candy beggars. Really, is it too hard to give my kids some sugary sweetness? We had to walk past 5 houses at a time to find one willing to contribute to the growing diabetes population. It’s not like we really pray to the dead and believe the haunts are coming after us. We’re not really pagans. Just a group of kids dressed as imaginary-ish characters straight from a Disney movie knocking on your door begging for free stuff. GIVE IT UP, ASSHOLES.

I’m a little miffed.

Other than that, we’re all still alive, telling fart jokes, congratulating each other’s belches, and catching up on 15+ hours of DVR recordings.

How are you doing?

©2009 A Whole Lot of Nothing. All Rights Reserved. Steal my stuff, I breakayourface.

Luckily, Lane Bryant once again saved me from shivering my tuckus off in the mountains. I was given a nice gift certificate to shop for some Fall weather clothes, and I’ve said it before, but I was NOT disappointed with their selection.

I stayed within buying sweaters and jeans that would carry me through the winter here in Orlando (or, as most of you others call, “Fall”). One of my favorite finds was this vintage floral 3/4-sleeve cardigan with my new dark wash straight-leg (yes, straight-leg) Right Fit jeans. I can honestly tell you, I received so many compliments without even begging about this outfit that I must have looked good. Nicer than this picture apparently. I am no model. Apparently.

All of the other outfits/sweaters/jackets I got for the TypeAMom conference will be featured during my current trip with Aiming Low. We’re taking a trip in our famous rocket ship to Boston and New York hosting some fab-u-li-cious parties for Hewlett-Packard. I am SO INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL for the clothes I received from Lane Bryant since I’m a Central Floridian heading to the northeast in the real Fall.

©2009 A Whole Lot of Nothing. All Rights Reserved. Steal my stuff, I breakayourface.

That’s where places like Tiny Prints come into my life. Pretty effing Awesome stuff for not a lot of monies.

Tiny Prints is one of those online stationery stores your friends send you to with a link saying, “Check out THIS cute baby photo announcement!” and “I totally want this for my Xmas card this year!” and “Mama must have this personalized gift tag or I will die 1000 deaths.” I know it’s not just me sending these messages to my friends because Tiny Prints has been on my radar for at least the last year as a must-shop for stationery and photo cards. When I was approached to do multiple reviews for Tiny Prints, well, HELLO? Am I going to turn away the opportunity to send out that “Oh Em Gee, this design is PERFECT for us this year” message to my bloggy friends? Heck no. Bring ‘em on.

The first two items I ordered are the personalized gift tag stickers for our Christmas gifts and matching personalized thank you cards. Being the silly, snarky mo’fo I am, I picked out the cheeziest design I could find and personalized them with my own punny snarkasm.

Having the personalized gift tags ready to go for any gifts we give out really applies to my “Aiming Low” philosophy of living: no need to think; just stick & give. I must say, I was surprised at the quality of the stickers considering they’re only $7 for an entire personalized set of 24. You can’t even find an embroidered Christmas sweater for $7, much less find anything personalized for $7. Bonus: you’ll look pretty effing Awesome to your gift recipient with a personalized gift tag. They’ll think you paid much more that you did for the scented candle you found on sale at the $1 store that’s inside the box you’re giving them. WIN/WIN

The first thing my husband said to me when I told him our thank you cards arrived: “Are you actually going to send them this year?” Pshaw. Of course I’ll be sending the personalized thank you cards this year. They say “Awesome” right on the card. How can I NOT send them out? Plus, they make me look pretty effing Awesome because they’re printed on such high-quality card stock. (Like, the nice stuff.) Just like the gift tag stickers, the personalized thank you cards are priced well to help you look like you’re the pretty effing Awesome person you are.

I urge you to send a gift to Messy Semi Clean House this year. You’ll get a pretty effing Awesome thank you card in return. Even if it is just to spite my husband for doubting me.

Also, we like presents, and we have no shame.

If you’re extra lucky, you’ll get a $1 store scented candle with a pretty effing Awesome gift tag sticker on the outside. You’re welcome.

______________________________

This post is sponsored by Tiny Prints. I received the products shown in return for this review.

©2009 A Whole Lot of Nothing. All Rights Reserved. Steal my stuff, I breakayourface.

Her. Vacation. Beach. House.

damn. i know.

It’s flat out awesome.

I’m buying a TV for the living room (the ONLY thing missing) & I’m moving in. I mean, c’mon. It totally matches my blog design colors. It’s fate.

©2009 A Whole Lot of Nothing. All Rights Reserved. Steal my stuff, I breakayourface.

A day at Disney’s Wilderness Lodge.

Visit, click over, love on…

Please?

©2009 A Whole Lot of Nothing. All Rights Reserved. Steal my stuff, I breakayourface.

It was most awesome.

Totes* awesomesauce.

Even though I couldn’t ever figure out how to gracefully exit the car from the backseat, I could actually ride in the back without getting sick. Either this car has magic Anti-Car-Sickness (ACS) air or the ride is so smooth that my tummy couldn’t tell the back seat from the front seat. Take your pick. Other than the magic ACS air, my favorite feature of the car (even though I didn’t have the proper government clearance to actually drive the car) is the Anti-Hit-a-Kid rear-view back-up cam. It’s too bad that some stranger in the hotel parking lot was watching me, or you would have seen my dancing in the rear-view back-up cam. Sorry, sucka.

The car is big, fancy, high off the ground, has an awesome camera built in to the back, and satellite radio. All the necessities for a totes* awesomesauce road trip.

Behold, the video that proves I can not sing, not car dance, and don’t know every word to Pour Some Sugar on Me.

Aiming Low GM Yukon Denali Hybrid Road Trip 2009! from Anissa Mayhew on Vimeo.

“The Aiming Low ladies hit the road in an incredible GM Yukon Denali Hybrid for 5 days to North Carolina…um…we edited out the part on the golf course with the Denali. ‘Nuff said.”

*I flippin HATE the non-word “totes” but for some twisted reason, it kinda fits here.

©2009 A Whole Lot of Nothing. All Rights Reserved. Steal my stuff, I breakayourface.

heh

©2009 A Whole Lot of Nothing. All Rights Reserved. Steal my stuff, I breakayourface.