In honor of DISCOVERIES, today let’s consider what we have DISCOVERED about ourselves since stepping out on this journey.

I have discovered I can be stronger than I ever thought possible.I was never one to stay after things when it got too hard or uncomfortable.

Give this question some thought and share your answer with us. Some of you may be so early on the journey that all you have discovered is you can take the next breath. For others, further along on the journey, you might have discovered deep personality traits you never knew you possessed.

Tonight’s Might!

Today is Columbus Day so this seemed appropriate!

Our kids will never understand the dilemma of folding a map!

In case you don’t understand this, Siri is the word Apple uses for the interactive voice response on their devices. Sometimes Siri takes you the wrong way….

Today we welcome Martha DiPalma, our guest blogger.

She is sharing some promises she received from God through the death of her husband Mike.

Click on the link and read her story.

At the end of the post you can read how YOU can contribute to our guest posts.

https://anewseason.net/widows-might/promises-face-death/

Tuning our hearts to His grace is a moment by moment event. What can we do to keep our hearts in tune?

Do you remember the first time you shared your story with another widow who understood your journey? It helps to practice or write it out if you have trouble putting your story into words. It is a gift from your pain to hers.

Some like tea, some like coffee, some like Mountain Dew.What is your regular morning drink? Or if I were to hand you $5 for a drink, what would you order?

Every morning I make Cafe Vienna from a can. If I were stopping for a drink, I’d get a caramel latte. ~Elizabeth

 

In the seven plus years on this journey, God has healed me in mighty ways. He’s taught me how to embrace the life He has ordained for me, and claim full victory in Christ over my husband’s suicidal death. I am not defined by what’s happened to us. My kids are not destined to become suicide victims, or prone to struggles themselves.

My God is bigger!

Our legacy is in our entire story, a story still unfolding today. It’s in our children and their limitless, God-designed futures. Scott’s legacy is in his eternal reward he is receiving right now in Heaven.

Sisters, God is in the restoration business. We can count on that! ~Erika

Our emotions may tell us we don’t deserve this. We can’t live life without our husbands. That this is too hard. The pain too vast. The loss too great. But God, sisters. He is enough!

We pray today that God will be our perfect enough for whatever situation, moment, memory, painful moment, or trial that comes our way.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I STAND!
Stand on that assurance tonight when the storms of life are crashing around you. He is our ROCK!

The post Weekly ReCap for October 8 appeared first on aNew Season.

Martha lives in Florida and was widowed four years ago. She has three grown children and eight grandchildren. She and her husband had a bilingual pastoral ministry but now she works in the after-school care at a Christian school. Her favorite verse of Scripture is Micah 6:8.

He did “…far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.” Ephesians 3:20 ESV

The kids had been good about getting me out of the room every day during the last days of Mike’s life. On the Saturday before Father’s Day, we went to enjoy the beach and dinner to celebrate our son’s birthday.

The next day I entered Mike’s hospital room with a card, cheerfully proclaiming, “Happy Father’s Day,” only to be met with silence. I shook his hand gently. He was still breathing but not responding.

A few minutes later, the children and grandchildren crowded into the room with cards, presents, hand-drawn pictures, and “Happy Father’s Day” wishes. Still no response from Papa.

No final words from him. Just one-way conversations as I encouraged him, told him of my love for him and that it was ok to leave for heaven.

I wondered during the rest of the week of watching and waiting if his unconsciousness was due to the pain medicine he had recently begun to take.  But before I even asked, the doctor assured me that the medicine didn’t cause him to be unconscious, but that he was preparing for heaven and was closer there than here.

During the first year after I lost Mike I had unconsciously tucked away the sadness of that Father’s Day. Suddenly I remembered that a nurse had told me always to say goodbye when I left the room because even in a state of unconsciousness a patient could hear.

Now that hidden sadness was gone, and my heart felt light. What a sweet gift from the Lord. However, He wasn’t finished giving.

I also found out a few weeks later that while we had gone to the beach and dinner, one of our friends had come by to visit. He and Mike had had a great time, sharing the Lord (and probably sports!), and he had been surprised how Mike had gripped his hand. When I told him that he was probably the last person on earth to speak with Mike, he said that he had noticed how he had seemed to be fading in and out.

How sweet of the Lord to let me know someone was there with Mike as he was in the final stages of his life on earth! Come to think of it, he wasn’t alone in his final hours either. I had asked the Lord to let me be with Mike as he passed from this life, and He granted my request.

The next Saturday evening, June 22, 2013, I mentioned to my brother and sister-in-law in the room with me that Mike’s breathing was slowing down. My sister-in-law went to get the nurse. As I waited and held Mike’s hand, he took a breath, and after what seemed like forever, another one. Then he took his last breath.

“The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21 ESV) It was 9:00 p.m. Peacefully–quietly he was gone. Two nurses came in to cover his body with a large American flag.

Four years later as I think of my husband, I remember he taught me not only how to live but also how to die.

Thank You, Lord, for promising never to leave us or forsake us, for comforting and reminding me that nothing can separate us from Your love and for doing above all I could ask or imagine.

My heart has chosen to say with Job, “Blessed be Your Name.”

Would you like to submit a guest blog for consideration? Click the link here to find all the details.

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The post Weekly ReCap for the Week of October 1 appeared first on aNew Season.

There have been many throughout my life and through this journey of widowhood, but one moment early on, seems to stand out. It was January 2015, when my husband of nearly seven years shockingly died by suicide at just thirty-one, leaving me in a gamut of emotions while trying to raise our one-year-old son.

Though I knew leaning on the Lord was the only way I was going to survive circumstances of this magnitude, I felt as if I was flailing about. A week or so after his death, still in shock, I walked into the prayer room at our church, and a woman was there. That’s when something changed – she told me to just open my Bible and start in John. “There is hope there,” she shared.

And, so I did. As I started to read, I began to cling to Jesus, and He has been my rock. He always has been, but I’d never experienced such life-altering pain. I gave it all to the Lord – my pain, guilt, anger, sorrow and future and totally surrendered to his will for my life. Having no idea what He had in store for us, I knew He would take care of us and that my husband Michael was with Him.

I also had hope, because of that moment at church that started a series of breakthrough moments, including meeting my second husband Keith – a miracle that only God could have orchestrated.

I did not think remarriage was even possible. Though nothing is perfect, my marriage to my late husband Michael was pretty close to it– He was my soul mate, I kept saying. In fact, my biggest fear in life was losing him. So, when he died, I had no plans to ever remarry. Ever. It was so far from my mind.

Fast forward just seven months later, and another moment happened when I met a gentleman named Keith. He was walking his own broken road, relying on the Lord to get him through. I enjoyed talking with him and knew something was different. I shared I had lost my husband, and he shared a Bible verse.

We became friends, and I resisted anything other than that. This wasn’t my timeline and it wasn’t what I had planned! There were many moments during our relationship where I thought I would call things off, not because I didn’t like and care about Keith, but because I was afraid. However, I could feel the Lord telling me to “just go”. Keith was so patient, and our relationship grew.

Just last month we celebrated our first wedding anniversary. Who he is and our marriage is truly a miracle in my life.

Only through God’s grace have I continued to walked this road of widowhood and been blessed with, not only one, but two amazing husbands and soul mates.

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:19

Though they can be different, God has breakthrough moments for all of us – moments where He tugs at our hearts to follow His lead, listen and trust. It can be tough at times, because these moments and plans aren’t always on our timeline or what we envisioned for our lives. But I have learned to surrender and listen, and He has broken through – Every. Single. Time. My hope and trust is in Him.

Lord, We know You want to break through in our lives, and we want that, too. But our circumstances can be so difficult. Help us to trust, listen and surrender to Your will for our lives. Amen.

Jennifer was widowed by suicide in January 2015. She is recently remarried and lives with her husband Keith in north central Texas. She is now the mom and step mom of three sons.  When she’s not running after three energetic boys, Jennifer loves running outdoors, enjoying nature. As her grief journey continues, she is sharing her story to help others know that it is only in the Lord that hopeful healing and walking forward are possible.

Want to view another post by Jennifer? No Longer a Slave to Fear

Read another article on a similar topic: God in the Details

The post When God Broke Through appeared first on aNew Season.

The other night I was at a service where the leader said just this line from a familiar chorus.

Through it all…

My mind immediately wandered to all.

What have been the alls I have faced?

• marriage and friendships
• illness and death
• financial ease and struggles
• joys and sorrows
• addictions
• loss
• downsizing, moving
• births

I’m LEARNING to trust in God…

Trusting is something I need to cultivate. I don’t suddenly have all the trust I need for life. Each trial and difficulty is a way of schooling me to trust Him more.

One of the biggest things I have learned in my grief has been this:

either I trust in the sovereignty of God or I don’t. (click the link to get a short definition)

Until a few years ago, I thought the sovereignty of God was pretty groovy but I hadn’t had to wrestle with it. It was something spoken about in Sunday School class or from the pulpit, but it hadn’t occurred to me that it could be attached to the crushing blows of life. I would have told you that I believed God was in control — I just hadn’t had to trust His control until my world seemed to implode.

The phrase “saloon door theology” explains what I was thinking.

A saloon door swings both ways so you have to move through them rather quickly. The sovereignty of God is like that for me. It is all great and awesome until I have to accept the death of my marriage or my spouse,  infertility or death of my child,  the crashing economy or the crashing of hurricanes. I didn’t really like the sovereignty so much now. I just couldn’t trust it.

Wrestling with this, I would cry out to God in my car as I drove alone.  My Bible would be flipped open like a textbook as I tried to read all I could about trusting God. Sovereignty was a great attribute when things were going well. I could accept that God was in control when life felt “normal”. I trusted Him when life’s events sort of fell into place, even imperfectly. But when life was turned upside down for me, I lost that trust in God’s sovereignty. This sovereignty was like the saloon door hitting me from behind. I walked through, feeling confident I understood this characteristic of God, but then got a good whallop from behind with this attribute.

As I learned about trusting God, Proverbs 3:5 came to mind. (Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart…) I had to ask myself, Am I trusting with my whole heart? Either I trusted in His sovereignty or I didn’t. How would it change my grief if I accepted and trusted His sovereignty?

I was definitely at a crossroads in my faith. It was at that point that I began to LEARN to trust God more than any other time in my life. Trusting will be something I will be learning for the rest of my life on this earth. It is like a school that is always in session!

I am learning. Through it all. The good times, the sad times, the upheaval, the smooth. Through it all I am learning to TRUST. Trust in the sovereignty of God. He is in control.

Father God, we are learning to trust You a little more each day. Help us to trust with our whole heart, especially when life doesn’t make human sense to us. When we are confused, guide us to Scripture, not emotions or world’s philosophies. Amen

Click here to read what God REALLY thinks about you! Ephesians 1 is a great place to LEARN about God.

You can read the story behind the song I was referring to by clicking here.

You can listen to the complete song here. 

Elizabeth Dyer lives in Oklahoma with her six children named after Bible characters, a large dog named after a grandfather, and a noisy cat named after a German race car driver!  Elizabeth lost her husband in 2012 and is learning she only THOUGHT she knew what trusting God was–widowhood has taken that “faith walk” to a whole new level for her. Psalm 94:19 has become a special verse for her family – “Lord, when doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer.”

Our team at A Widow’s Might would love to send a speaker to your next event. Email us at admin@anewseason.net to get information about our speakers.

Do you want to read more articles by Elizabeth? Read them here. 

Another article on the sovereignty of God by Sarah

Have you heard this beautiful song? It Is Well by Bethel Music

The post Through it ALL, I Learned… appeared first on aNew Season.

The post Our Weekly ReCap for the week of September 24 appeared first on aNew Season.

I can imagine those words resounding in anguish throughout the unseen world, echoing from a single source, a maligned and misunderstood man hanging on a cross. He was a man of mercy, healing, strength and power–all submitted in obedience to the Father, all submitted for love of us in the person of Jesus.

FORSAKEN.

Have you felt forsaken in suffering? There is One who understands.

It means a lot to me to know that Jesus felt that startling realization of, “I am alone.”  The context of this experience for Him is very different, as different as the relationship, but it is still that experience.  You’ve had it, and I’ve had it.  It is a stunning reality. “I am alone.”

I hope as we explore Christ’s experience, our ability to relate to Him will deepen.

During Christ’s ministry, while walking in the temple, the Jews gathered to ask him to plainly acknowledge if He was the Christ. His answer was, “I and the Father are one.” – John 10:30 (ESV)

Yet, “For our sake, he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” – 2 Cor. 5:21 (ESV)

One solitary man–our Lord–experienced all the world’s miserable payload of sin on Himself, for love of us. While Jesus assumed the penalty for our sin, His Father could not remain in unity with Him. Sin separates us from God. Likewise sin separated Christ from His Father as He took our sin on Himself.

It is staggering to consider the pain to Father and Son when their loving communion was interrupted by the cavernous collection of humanity’s sin.  I wonder if Jesus felt the shame, hatred, envy, the combined sickening toll of sin emotionally and mentally. Scripture doesn’t tell us, but we know as the Word made flesh, by whom creation exists, He was largely rejected of men and forsaken by His Father as nails alone suspended him.  Who can capture the utter isolation Christ must have felt?

Even crucified in unimaginable physical agony, it was God’s love for us that placed Jesus with arms outstretched to all the world, symbolic of His love. Christ’s sacrifice, accepted by faith in our lives, obliterates the division between us and God. We can exhale into His grace.

At the time of Christ’s death, the earth He spoke into existence quaked. (John 1:3,14)

“And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

 At that moment, the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life.” – Mt. 27:50-52 (NIV)

We have a Savior and Lord who knew sorrow and grief, separation and isolation, alienation and abandonment, without rival in all of history. Only He bore the comprehensive sin of the entire world on Himself, felt the unprecedented break in the community of love with His Father, and the rejection by all but a few who remained to witness His crucifixion.

Christ knew heart-penetrating pain. He knows how lonely separation can feel, and how isolating.  He gets us. Whatever it is that troubles us, HE knows and has compassion. Furthermore we have a promise from God’s Word,

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5 (ESV)

Dear Lord, my life isn’t where I expected it to be. You know that I have wrestled, shed many tears and questioned. You know me more intimately than I do myself, becoming sin for my sake and for all who would believe. What You endured for love of me frames this life differently. Whatever days and years remain for me, I am yours. Thank You for your painful sacrifice to offer eternal life. I love You, Lord. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Janene lives in the Dallas area, surrounded by her children, their sweethearts, two grandchildren, and a host of wonderful friends.  Janene married her beloved Frank in 1972 and enjoyed 40 precious years with him.

Four months after celebrating their 40^th wedding anniversary, Frank lost his rigorous battle against bladder cancer. Frank left a void so vast, it was like a black hole which threatened to swallow Janene whole. However, God’s faithfulness has been exceptional. As a retired minister at a local church, she spends her time painting, mentoring, serving in Stephen Ministry leadership, and seeks to trust Christ in this new season of life.

(The graphic with this post is one of my oil paintings. – Janene)

Our team at A Widow’s Might would love to send a speaker to your next event. Email us at admin@anewseason.net to get information about our speakers.

Another devotional by Janene:

Acceptance?

Complementing pieces:

He Knows My Name

The Curtain is Torn

The post Forsaken in Suffering appeared first on aNew Season.

Proverbs 19:21 ESV

I encourage you, sisters, to join me in a three-part series I as I started this ministry.  I was struck by how unique and compelling each woman’s story was, and yet how similarly the threads of love, loss, and healing weave through all of our stories–creating one message: Hope in Christ.  The original writing was three times the length of our current articles, so I have split these into three parts.

Part one focused on those early days of grief. Today’s part focuses on that second year when life goes on, but your heart is still broken to pieces.  Look next month for part three which will focus on a new season. Bless you, sisters.  Our stories share a common thread–God’s love for the widow.             ~Kit

***

We tried counseling. We loved it—we were finally able to get why we loved him so much and yet in some ways felt relieved not to have the same arguments repeated. We hated counseling—felt like we had a better grip on loss than the trained counselor. We dragged our children to counselors against their will, and were later glad we did—what would have happened with that grumpy teenager had we not gotten him to vent? We dragged our children to counselors and found out dragging didn’t work at all—the teenager only dug his heels in. We brought our children to a counselor who won their trust and got them on a healthy road of grieving right away. We got our kids to a counselor just in time. We got our kids to a counselor too late—but is it ever too late? We started counseling and thought we didn’t need it anymore and found ourselves later crawling back when life without our husbands got really rough.

We took on our husbands’ legacies. Some of us opened that coffee shop he always dreamed of starting, only to find it too overwhelming to handle without him. Some of us started that summer camp he dreamed about on the property he purchased a year before the accident. What purpose it gave us. How would we have survived without something to focus on! We raised our stepchildren that now had no biological parent to raise them. We struggled with a stepchild’s loyalty issues—loved by us, but still feeling like an orphan.

We blamed God. We didn’t blame God, but had a handle on how to just trust Him and accept. Maybe we’d already been through some pretty rough blows in life and knew bad things just happen and in the end, it all fits into some part of His will. We didn’t blame Him at first, but then life got harder. The bills mounted. The kids got squirrely. We got lonely. We’re still learning how to stop blaming God. We know we don’t really blame Him. We’re just plain mad.

***

But all of us do… live life more, whether it’s through grieving more deeply or actively starting life more quickly. Our tragedies are parallel and the ripples from our tragedies go in all different directions. And somehow, always lead to redemption.

Father God,  I thank You for these sisters who continue to share their stories with us. I marvel at how strong each of them is, and how You have taken the horrible losses in their lives to transform them and glorify You.

Kit Hinkle is an author and speaker. She was an original writer of A Widow’s Might in 2008, and after four years with that ministry, expanded it and founded A New Season Ministries, Inc. Once the ministry became established, she turned the leadership over, yet continues to contribute articles while she focuses on her finest career as a mother to two high school boys, two boys in college, and a grown son and daughter whom she helped her husband raise before he passed away. She has lived through corporate careers as a chemical engineer and a management consultant, but now enjoys walks on the beach with her chocolate lab.  She loves to sit with another who is walking through her tough road and show that woman Christ. It’s an honor to participate in His kingdom.

If you are interested in having our team speak, please contact us via email at: admin@anewseason.net

Check out more posts by this author at- Kit Hinkle.

You might also like these posts by our team:

Inlaws- not Outlaws

Something Else to be Afraid of

A Widow’s Walk is Never Carved in Stone

Our Stories Uniquely the Same – Part One:  Those Early Days of Grief

The post Our Stories so Uniquely the Same- Part Two appeared first on aNew Season.

We hope you have enjoyed our posts this week! If you missed the announcement from Sheryl with exciting news about the ministry, make sure you read to find out!  Here are the social media photos we posted on facebook and instagram. Please follow us there as well as get signed up for emails. You don’t want to miss even one day of the fun!

A Widow’s Might Inc. is pleased to let you know that in just a few weeks we will be switching to our newly designed website. We are so excited that we will have better tools to minister with, as we continue to share our stories of hope.

Over the last year God has continually impressed upon our hearts that many others could benefit from our stories and yours. With the launch of the new website we will begin to offer resources to help educate and encourage both the family & friends of widows and the local church.

Collectively, we can help many! Today, please share with us ways that the local church has ministered to you since you became a widow. We would like to use your stories to help other churches learn how to minster to and encourage widows. Thanks for walking this journey with us! Sheryl

My late husband was not perfect and neither was yours.

By the same token, I was not a perfect wife and neither were you.

Only Jesus was perfect!

Memories of my late husband:

Negative

– He didn’t write things down even though he was notorious for forgetting things at the store.
– He could be selfish when it came to sharing sometimes.
– He didn’t put effort into learning to communicating with people.
– He made it hard to have “couple” friends because he didn’t put out the effort to talk to the men.
– He refused to put his socks in the laundry, instead putting them inside the shoes he took off.

The post Sunday ReCap for September 17 appeared first on aNew Season.

even in memories.

WARNING!

This topic is sensitive, especially for a newly grieving widow. It may sting a little to jump right in, but in my experience it can be beneficial to us all, and may bring freedom to some.

Here is the thing –

My husband was not perfect and neither was yours.

By the same token, I was not a perfect wife and neither were you.

Now that we have that out of in the open – we can fight the temptation to replace truth with lies while processing our loss. Believing lies can cause us to swing either direction of two extremes, positively or negatively. We must find the balance of truth.

Positively

When grief first paralyzes us, it is not uncommon to only remember good qualities about our beloved. We ponder what he meant to us and what we loved to do together, telling of the good things he did or how devoted he was to his family. Thoughts of how we fell in love with him and the period when we would have jumped through hoops just to belong to him take center stage. Memory says….

My husband could do no wrong.

REALLY?

There is nothing wrong with dwelling on mostly positive memories as we grieve. Affirming words and actions are good — as long as they are true! However, no one is perfect except Jesus Christ. We all sin and we all have flaws. Anytime two humans live together there will be times of conflict. Two people become one, but there are still two brains and two wills involved.

The truth is marriage is hard work between two imperfect people.

Of course, we knew this to be true before death separated us; willingly we still acknowledge our own limitations. Let this be our reminder that even in death it is okay to admit that our husbands were not perfect either.

Honestly, the first time a widow has a negative thought about her husband can be a shock. It may trigger a bout of guilt or anger that is a new experience since his death. It may be helpful to note that anger is a normal part of the grief journey. It is NOT disrespectful to his memory.

In fact, it can be healing to remember your husband EXACTLY as he was, flaws and all. He can be himself in your memory. Both laughter and tears will come as you remember the man he was.

Negatively

Emotion rides in unannounced over widows – at our circumstances, happy couples, relationships lost, financial woes, anger at God. Suddenly, we may have more anger at our spouse than any other emotion.

WHAT?

Feelings of anger are okay! Dwelling in that anger is unhealthy. Do not allow negative thoughts to determine your whole outlook on life. God is still in control and He is still good!

“…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me – practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. ” Philippians 4:8-9 (ESV)

Positively Negative

One more thing. Maybe your perfect family was not as great on the inside as people perceived from the outside. Secrets, lies, or abuse may have been part of your world, hidden from view of anyone not in your home. Consequently, you may have negative memories inside but feel you have to portray only positive feelings to all, even family, to protect your husband’s memory or keep from disappointing others. If this is the case, seek counseling. Do not lock negative memories inside to promote a lie. Speaking truth to a trusted counselor can set you free. You do not have to disparage your husband’s memory to the whole world, but your healing is a priority.

Truth matters.

Father, help us embrace truthful memories of our husbands. It is not easy to want to remember the hard times but it gives us a more beautiful picture of how You take two sinners and make them unified as one in marriage. We acknowledge that in the good, the bad, and even in our loss, You never leave us. Amen.

Terri Oxner Sharp is a wife, mother, grandmother, homeschool teacher, and a writer for aNew Season/A Widow’s Might Ministries. Her first husband passed away suddenly in 2012. She gives God all the glory for how He has grown her spiritually on her widow journey, in preparation for her new journey into a blended family. Terri and her second husband live in Arkansas with the final child still living at home from their combined family of seven children, two son-in-loves, and two grandsons. She loves to be with people who love to laugh, enjoys spending time with their grandchildren, who know her as “GiGi”, and feels called to minister to other women who find themselves bewildered to be on a widow’s path as well.

 If you are interested in having Terri or any of our writing team speak, please contact us via email at: admin@anewseason.net.

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The post Truth Matters appeared first on aNew Season.