tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744Fri, 01 Nov 2024 10:32:08 +0000GrievingHappy Mother's DayREO SpeedwagonSeptember 11Take it On The RunWalmartbeing heardchatclowningdeathdrivingembarrassmentfare hikefood channelhigh schoolletter to the editormbtamompublic transportationslow dancing poemRants, Poetry, and Essays by Julie M. Bakerhttp://jmbrants.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)Blogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-44356012898131185Sat, 16 Jan 2016 17:59:00 +00002016-01-16T12:59:31.533-05:00I wrote this in December when an old friend died. I was raw. I edited it today. I'm still really sad and in search of meaning... My old friend, John died yesterday. The friendship was old. Not him. He was only 47. I'm sad beyond words, but I have to try to put some together anyway to make some sense of my grief. My friends will be shocked by this but there are times when I miss my ex husband http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2016/01/goodbye-john.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-559601088028975995Wed, 06 Jun 2012 02:15:00 +00002012-06-05T22:15:21.648-04:00chatfood channel Clever words and compliments abound in the fantasy world of chat. But no eyes meet and no hands touch. Making connections via a keyboard is like watching the food channel to become a gourmet chef. There’s no actual cooking going on but I can lick my lips and imagine the taste. Eventually...I’ll get hungry, turn off the food porn and go in search of actual sustenance...usually somethinghttp://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2012/06/disembodied-intimacy.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-8228473045190381750Wed, 06 Jun 2012 02:08:00 +00002012-06-05T22:08:59.666-04:00My ex-husband writes a check for the minimum court-mandated amount of child support, wraps it in a folded piece of blank white copy paper, hand writes my name and address and his return address on the envelope, then hands it to my children to give to me on the 5th and the 20th of each month. I'm guessing he has something to do with the fact that whether it's my son or daughter who hand me the http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2012/06/support.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-6290301439966024349Tue, 21 Sep 2010 22:47:00 +00002010-09-21T19:38:46.231-04:00slow dancing poem When I think about slow dancing, I first picture eighth grade boys putting their skinny arms around me. The brave ones moved their hands down as we stepped around in a circle, headed toward the slope of my ass while I wondered where and when I wanted them to stop. I positioned myself near my cute crush, wanting him to see me and ask me to dance when the D.J. played Stairway to Heaven. I never http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2010/09/slow-dancing-at-fair.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-5674393835784816160Mon, 10 May 2010 12:21:00 +00002010-05-10T08:21:03.531-04:00Happy Mother's DayTo say I have a complicated relationship with my mother is a bit of an understatement. Mother's Day has often been filled with some pretty intense emotions. Today was no different. Today was no different but as the day comes to a close, I feel more good than bad. Instead of being about how I do not have a mother in my life, it's been about being a mother--the crappiest and most amazing role I http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2010/05/happy-mothers-day.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-568911238289846787Thu, 06 May 2010 02:58:00 +00002010-05-06T00:55:42.345-04:00REO SpeedwagonTake it On The RunMy friend and fellow writer, Jason M. Rubin, told me about a writing assignment he did at a recent Grub Street writer's conference. Here's the assignment: Choose a song with deep emotional importance to me, and write about the event that imbued the song with such meaning. My song is not as cool as Jason's but it is truly the first song that came to mind when I heard the assignment. It's REO http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2010/05/musical-memories.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-5683589911002097031Sat, 12 Sep 2009 01:36:00 +00002009-09-12T14:52:59.790-04:00September 11Eight years ago today, the world changed when four planes piloted by terrorists on a suicide mission of hatred crashed into the two World Trade Center towers, the Pentagon, and a field in Pennsylvania.For me personally, a lot has changed in those 8 years but some things remain the same for all of us:Those who died on September 11 are still gone and their families probably miss them all the more. http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2009/09/looking-back-and-forward-on-september.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-4003971191908065258Mon, 10 Aug 2009 01:02:00 +00002009-08-10T11:02:08.050-04:00drivingfare hikembtapublic transportationThe MBTA is raising fares...again. This time, the proposed hike is 20% which , if you have a Charlie Card, figures out to be 34 cents per subway ride. If you take the train to and from work for 5 days a week, like most people, that's an addition $3.40 each week. Public hearings on the fare increase began this week. I plan to attend and, guess what? I won't be siding with the MBTA on this one.Thehttp://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2009/08/mbta-fare-hike-is-no-fair.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-5027688091868733390Fri, 15 May 2009 02:31:00 +00002009-05-14T23:26:44.941-04:00being heardletter to the editorI love writing angry letters. Once or twice a year, I feel pissed off and passionate enough to write a letter to an editor or a corporation or a hospital or an ex-husband. OK. For the last one it's definitely more often than that.I heard a WBUR story last week that prompted such a letter. I posted the letter on this blog. The thing that pissed me off was that the story talked about how terrible http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2009/05/being-heard.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-7424644925145155389Sat, 09 May 2009 03:32:00 +00002009-05-09T00:22:29.159-04:00GrievingI realized today that my MS denial is fading. You can read all about it on my other blog, if you're really interested. Dead dad and boyfriend breakup denial is alive and well, though. I pass my dad's phone number in my cell phone contact list all the time. At least a couple times a week I see "Dad" and think  "I need to call him!" And then I remember and feel sad, and it's kind of like he just http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2009/05/still-sad.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-2257800410317461386Thu, 07 May 2009 04:09:00 +00002009-05-07T00:51:29.626-04:00I had my first session with a grief counselor today. I called hospice looking for a group and they suggested I start with an individual counselor. I think they send you there first because they want to sift out the crazies before welcoming them into the group. I'm going to start the group next week. I guess I fooled her.I spent the entire hour crying and apologizing for being pathetic. It was http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2009/05/crying-hour.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-4203942445860439623Tue, 05 May 2009 13:58:00 +00002009-05-05T10:08:36.705-04:00I wrote this letter to the editor in response to this story on WBUR, Boston's NPR station.To Whom it May Concern,I just listened to Monica Brady-Myerov's story about non-custodial dad's struggling to pay child support after losing a job. Actually, that wasn't how the story was described in Bob Oakes' intro. I thought that the story would be a balanced look at how the ailing economy is affecting http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2009/05/sounding-off-on-child-support.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-6430722402012876929Fri, 13 Mar 2009 15:07:00 +00002009-03-26T21:25:21.727-04:00My dad is dead. I'm sad and angry and still I want to laugh and make up a silly clapping rhyme. I need to write about his death. I need to write about his life. But instead I escape. Acting out, doing virtually anything sober to not feel my feelings. I want to run but he's still dead. I want to fight. Still dead. I want to dive into self pity. Yup. Dead dad still dead. Woah. All those people http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2009/03/dysfunctional-departures.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-2953758465761737539Sun, 22 Feb 2009 20:23:00 +00002009-02-22T15:49:26.583-05:00Wading Out of LoveA break, a chat, then another conversation.Tears, words, and comfortable moments of silence.Still sad but kind and gentle this time.He can't be where he's not.I can't sell myself short.My heart still loves.But my spirit believes that the Universe has other plans.I thought this man was walking beside me...a partner on the same path.Nope.I loved and learned and learned to love...http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2009/02/break-up-take-2.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-627493169395570402Sat, 07 Feb 2009 03:33:00 +00002009-02-22T15:22:55.676-05:00Sudden Death HeartbreakMy mending heart was sheltered by hurt, fear, and angerAnd then I met you.Your kindness and warmth seeped through and eroded my walls.Our love and trust grew and flourished in the light.I longed to see you, even in a thumbnail on my screen.Our millionth kiss still made me weak in the knees.I wanted more...for me...for you...and for our children.You said you loved me then http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2009/02/break-up-take-1.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-3061407797973056583Mon, 02 Feb 2009 13:54:00 +00002009-02-02T08:55:24.833-05:00I couldn't agree more! What do you think of this writer's opinion about opinions?http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2009/02/opinions-everyones-got-one.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-255374704232049061Fri, 16 Jan 2009 14:00:00 +00002009-01-16T10:06:50.153-05:00A fellow LinkedIn member forwarded this article from The New York Times along with a request for reactions. It's not like I need an invitation for one of my rants but this latest tirade was provoked.The columnist, Peggy Klaus, is obviously a thoughtful professional and a talented writer. In this opinion piece, "A Sisterhood of In-Fighting," she he did a pretty good job of avoiding the http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2009/01/jerks-come-in-both-genders.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-4467712168631951537Sat, 03 Jan 2009 21:35:00 +00002009-01-03T21:20:26.904-05:00clowningembarrassmenthigh schoolmomEvery woman I know who is fortunate enough to have children vows not to embarrass her offspring the way our mothers did to us. I'm pretty sure we all end up breaking this promise.Somehow it's worse with my daughter than with my son. Maybe it's a gender thing. Maybe it's just coincidence that my daughter Ruby's personality is more sensitive to embarrassment than my son's more easy going http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2009/01/moms-arelikeso-embarrassing.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9141230647085744.post-8090912854942286399Sat, 29 Nov 2008 19:58:00 +00002008-11-30T22:28:33.841-05:00deathWalmartA temporary maintenance employee was trampled to death on the day after Thanksgiving when shoppers broke down the doors of the Long Island, New York Walmart where he worked. Jdimytai Damour was 34-years old.According to an Associated Press article, The New York Daily News, and numerous other reports I've read and heard over the weekend, there were more than 2000 people gathered outside this http://jmbrants.blogspot.com/2008/11/excess-kills.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Julie M. Baker)1